Work Text:
--8:43 Jam: Holky ship get to the Bass Wasp for Hoppy Hour
Simon set his phone back down on the coffee table, turning his attention back to the TV. Nothing like an episode of COSMOS. Pre-recorded to skip the commercials, and paused for the benefit of the hot physicist currently using his shower.
No, Simon was not going to text his 'assistant' and good buddy James Chow back. He was not going to tell him about the amazing serendipity of Betty needing a ride from the ferry after coming home from Switzerland only to find her old apartment had to be refurbished after a minor fire, and all the hotels in the area being packed because of Finals Week. He would not tell him about the magical evening they shared at Five Guys, eating super greasy awesome burgers, sharing stories of their time abroad. And now back at his place, cold beers in the fridge, and a comfortable place made up on the futon for Betty to crash on until her apartment and roomate didn't smell like a trash fire any more.
Simon would not tell James, because then he would make assumptions. Such as Simon not being a completely classy and dignified gentleman about the whole thing, despite having done nothing but bitch and moan the last month about how much he missed Betty. Who was now totally available after ditching her old boyfriend right before leaving on her month in Switzerland. How once she got home, Simon was going to swoop in, wine and dine her, and be the snazziest guy on the open market.
--8:45 Jam: Literally hoppy one of the IPA kegs broke and it's free beer
“Hey, I had to borrow your shampoo, I hope you don't mind?” Betty said, dressed in her Pjs. Fleece pants and a Marshall College t-shirt.
“N..Not at all.” Simon said with a smile, trying not to think about how little underwear Betty was probably wearing. “Dressed comfortably?”
“Ugh, it feels so good to be out of those clothes. Plane delays suuuuuck.” She said, walking over to the fridge. “You said you liked the Porter?” Inside, chilling, was a fresh case of beer from the local brewery, hipster-fresh and delightfully obscure.
“Actually,” Simon pulled a small half-pint bottle of Jim Beam, setting it on the kitchen island. “I have a little stuff for cocktails. Whiskey Sour?”
“Oh yeah.” Betty crooned with a satisfied smile. “That'll do nicely.”
--9:09 Jam: WHERE ARE YOU THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER
With a cocktail in hand and the dulcet tones of Neil deGrasse Tyson explaining away the mysteries of the universe, Simon would be having a pretty good night in. The addition of a lovely redhead on the other end of his couch however, infinitely sweetened the deal.
“I'm really liking the production of this series.” Betty said, sipping her own drink. “I was kinda nervous that they'd screw it up, but Neil has really taken this show places.”
“You're on a first name basis?” Simon asked with a wink.
“Ha, no. I saw him once. Lecture series in Cal-Tech while I was still a student. But he's not like Sagan. I used to be obsessed with the old series.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, my dad had them all on VHS, I think I wore the heads off the vcr playing those tapes over and over again.”
Simon circled the ice around the bottom of his glass. “I used to be glued to the Discovery Channel all day. I didn't care where we were, I just wanted to know if we had cable, and if we got the good channels.”
“No cartoons?”
“Of course cartoons! But educational programming got you yelled at way less if you were watching it while doing your homework.”
--9:49 Jam: Baseball ended and we're all watching Sound Of Music
--10:15 Jam: (video message) SIMON ANSWER YOUR TEXTX LOOSER IT'S A SING ALONG
Betty took another sip of her beer. “I love the mountains.”
“I love the clear blue sky.” Simon sung along.
“I love big bridges!”
“I love when great whites fly!”
“I love the whole world.”
“It's such a brilliant place.”
“Second stanza!” Betty pointed at Simon with her beer. “It's 'and all it's sights and sounds'.”
Simon groaned. “Give me a break.”
“Boom-de-adda, boom-de-adda.” Betty chorused.
--11:07 Jam: You are why we cant have a complete re-enactment of the goat header puppet show.
--11:08 Jam: THE DISAPOINTMENT IS EATABLE
“You want to do another episode?” Simon said, grabbing the remote.
Betty was relaxed back on the couch, a beer in hand. “Sure. I really missed watching this.”
“No TV?”
“No, just, soooooo busy.” She said, smiling. “Missed you too, you know.”
Simon blushed a bit. “Aw. We chatted online.” He said, getting up for another beer.
“Yeah, but hanging out with you is awesome!”
“I am truly a paragon of nightime entertainment, what with watching TV and drinking. I'm all Boogie Nights up in here.” Simon cracked the beer open, taking a swig.
As he walked past Betty to his seat, she grabbed his free hand. “I really mean it.” She said, giving his hand a squeeze.
“Heh! Ah.. heh.” Simon laughed nervously, not quite sure what to do. “Aw. Thanks.”
Betty let go quietly, sitting back up on the couch. “Sorry. Just a little grabby. Beer and tired, you know.”
“It's fine!” Simon “Don't have to apologize.”
Betty drew her knees up under her body. “It was just really exhausting in Geneva. I never really felt like I deserved to be there, so I really just worked my ass off the whole time. I think I was kinda a party pooper there.”
Simon flopped back on his couch. “Of course you deserved to be there. I mean, so long as you didn't nearly die in an avalanche because you were stoned, you did way better then me when I went to Switzerland.”
Betty laughed, closing her eyes for a moment, leaning back on the couch. “Oh Simon...” She reached out and took his hand again, giving it a squeeze. “I just... Really wish I could kiss you.”
“Oh. Uh. Why cant you?”
A terrible pause. Her face fell into confusion. “Um, because you're gay?”
“What?” An open mouthed gape, a twisting contraction of the 'holy shit what' muscles in his face.
“You were dating George the greek last year?”
Simon swallowed hard. “And who told you that?”
“James Chow. And those few parties I saw you at, you seemed pretty distant and really not into anyone except for a few dudes?”
“Oh god, I'm going to kill Jam. No, Betty, I'm just not really good in social situations with people I don't know. I gravitate to my friends. What the hell else did I do?”
“....I just kinda assumed, uh. You dress so snappily and always smell really good, and your hair? It's perfect and a little curly and long, and you were rocking that totally awesome gay porn mustache for like a month.” She tried to explain.
Simon refused to let go of her hand. “Okay, um, Betty, I'm very comfortable with my place on the Kinsey scale, Georgios and I were really not an item, the mustache was for no-shave Mo-vember. Everything else is because I have a very Jewish mother.”
“Oh.” Betty whispered. “Oh.” She said, sliding closer. “So...”
“I also really want to kiss you.” Simon rushed out, hoping he could get the words out before the black hole forming in his stomach consumed his ability to speak. “If, um, that's still oka...”
Betty rushed in to his lips, capturing his last word with a kiss, warm and wonderful. “You have no idea how okay this is.”
Even as she was taking off his glasses and dotting his face with kisses, Simon stuttered. “And it's not just because you had a few? I really don’t want to take...” Betty shut his mouth with her own, giving him the enviable problem of having too many tongues in his mouth to properly speak. She tasted like hops and warm summers, a mouth of liquid silk.
Their mouths danced like that for a minute, Betty's hands coming up to anchor on his shoulders. Once Simon was sufficiently shut up, Betty pulled away, smiling. “Simon this is literally all I've been fantasizing about since we met. You are beautiful, and we're totally making out now.”
“So we'll save the next episode of Cosmos for tomorrow?”
Betty laughed, resting her head on his shoulder. “Yeees. Neil can wait.” She nipped at his earlobe, sending delicious shivers down Simon's spine.
He took Betty's waist in his hands, pulling her closer still into his lap. “I had my own fantasies.” He said, trying to keep his furious blush down.
Betty licked the shell of his ear, then catching it lightly between her canines, before pulling away to look at him. “Oh? What about?”
Simon took the initiative, kissing Betty back, jousting quickly again into her mouth, blocking her own strike with a flash of teeth. The game was on. “I had plans. I'd rescue you from boring post-excursion writeups and paperwork, take you to the Buck Bean for esspresso. I'd casually bring up my friends at Villa Ramone, how we could always get a good table, would you like an Italian feast? I'd continue to woo you with delightful excursions to the beach, the movies, skating...”
“Skating?” Betty laughed. “I used to to skate.” She brought her legs around to circle loosely around Simon. Her fingers played with the collar of his shirt. “Oh nooo. Am I going to have to miss out on all that now that we're skipping to the good part?”
“We'll get to all that. But I always thought you'd reject me right out, or be deadly allergic to something and horrible things would happen.”
Betty's hands continued down his shirt, playing with the buttons. “I'm a terrible imaginary date.”
Simon pulled her face back to his. “Mm, I like real Betty a lot more.”
Betty's hands were busy as their mouths played, again, sliding the buttons out of their confining holes, giving her access to preciously covered skin. So rarely out of sport coats and fine long sleeve shirts, the skin was still deliciously tan, a natural cinnamon latte full of cream. She ran her hands over his chest, over thin fields of curly black hair, enough to catch a bit in her fingers as she moved.
Simon groaned as she played, palming briefly over his nipples. “Nnnn... Where are we going with this?” He asked, open faced honesty and wondering.
Betty let her fingers fall to his waistband, palm ghosting over the bulge growing increasingly obvious in his pants. “To be perfectly honest, I masturbated in your shower real quick back there, I've basically been turned on since you agreed to pick me up from the ferry.”
Simon's breath hitched hard in his chest. “Diiirty girl.” He hissed, being met again with a kiss. He busied his own hands, sneaking in under the hem of her shirt to tickle at her tummy. He was rewarded with a muffled giggle against his mouth, so then pressed his hands against her belly, hands warmed by the soft pale skin underneath. He left them too long for Betty's liking, who took them in her own, guiding them up to cup her unsupported breasts. Beautifully round and playfully bouncy, they filled his hands like sacks of liquid gold.
“I want to take off your shirt.” He whispered in breaths between kisses.
“Mmmm. It's yours.” Betty murmured, lifting her arms, allowing Simon to slip the wash-worn cotton shirt off of her. The wonderful dips and curves of her body greeted him like a sunrise, and he was quick to appreciate them, palming her breasts again, taking one nipple ever so gently in his fingers.
She hissed appreciatively, then scooted up a bit as he shifted under her, lowering his face to her curves. He took a glorious moment to just bury his face in the valley of her breasts, breathing deep their clean, warm, slightly salty mix. He moved then to kiss each breast, then picked the left, supporting it in one hand. Delicately, he sipped on nipple to his lips, smiling around it as Betty cooed her appreciation.
He made her breasts his playground, a glorious field for his hands, lips, and very delicate teeth to play, careful not to leave a mark. Ever a conscientious player, he left it a better place then when he arrived, each nipple peaked and teased from hill to peak.
Betty sat back gently on Simon's waist, feeling the rise of his own arousal between her legs. “Sooo.” She said, wiggling her hips. “You want to continue this here, or..?” She left the question open, dangling on open air.
“Bed, yes, b... Shit!” Simon suddenly bit back, realization crashing into him. “Shit, shit fuck damn math...”
“You gonna keep cursing at my boobs or what?” Betty asked, sliding back off his legs.
“No! It's just... I have no condoms. I threw out some old ones just the other day.” Simon blushed again, incredibly pissed off at himself and completely surprised that there was enough blood left in his extremities to support such a flush.
“Anything I should know about?” Betty asked, sitting back a bit. “I just had a full checkup and bloodwork done, I'm clean, but,”
Simon shook his head. “No! I'm uh, fine. I just don't want any... I mean I do, some day, kids and stuff, but not now, and...” There was simply no more blood left in Simon's brain between the between his legs and blush. “Uh. I just want you right now. For awhile.”
“Shh...” Betty said, lowering herself back to Simon's face. She kissed from his lips to his collar bone in an exciting trail down. “Shhh... There are other ways to have fun.” She said, sliding up from the couch, catching Simon's hands in her own, pulling him along.
Curious to see what was to come, as well as being hot and hard enough to destroy diamond, Simon was more then happy to be led back to his own room, his shirt falling off somewhere along the way. Before Betty could fall back on the bed though, Simon caught her in his arms, pulling her in for a full body press, taking the moment to posses her as completely as he could. She responded in kind, locking her arms around his body, twining his legs amongst his, mouth meeting him in an open, lazy kiss. Only then, did Simon guide her back onto the bed, pulled along by eager hands.
They sat on the edge of the bed, gracing it with their presence and kisses, finding where they left off, and addressing a few pages again. Betty slipped her fingers into the waistband of his pants, toying with the fly and the idea of having Simon completely naked in front of her. He took initiative though, kissing her and leaning her back on the bed, his lips then leaving down the same seductive trail down that Betty's had taken. “I want to try something.” He murmured, sliding down the skirt of the bed.
He took Betty's PJ pants with him, leaving her naked and sprawling luxuriously on the edge of his bed. He then knelt between her legs, running his hands in a praising reach down her body, stopping on her thighs. He kissed inside them then, a primal scent and keening noises encouraging him back to center. As he was in exploring every new entrance, lacking protection or light, he delicately felt his way along, engaging all his senses in the experience of touch, sight, hearing, as smell.
He slowly slid a finger amongst the folds of her labia major. “God, you've been stewing in it. Someone's a happy girl.” He clucked, the velvet slick warm and inviting on his finger. Tickling away at the folds and creases, running his fingers through some of the neatly trimmed pubic hair, he reveled in her encouraging little moans and wiggles, inviting him in closer.
He slid a finger into her welcoming slit, hot and wet around him, taking a moment to explore the most intimate depths of her, taking the lay of the land. Betty moaned on the bed above, signaling to Simon to take it up a notch. He added another finger to his explorations, curling them around and inside, sure to hit the firmer flesh towards her belly, tickling out her wordless moans of appreciation. But he wanted to go further. Somewhere new. He moved in and clamped his mouth down on her mound.
She tasted like wood sorrel and clover, a sweating summer hay field under which something dark, supremely sexy lay, heart-catching and completely irresistible. It was insane, nothing had the right to taste that strange but so inviting. Exploring now with his tongue, he traced inside the folds with the wet tip of his tongue, sliding around new territory while his fingers worked away. Above him, he felt Betty squirm in the best of ways.
He could feel something in her tightening, like an electric cord pulling from the outlet. The only coherent words he could get from her were “Don't stop,” groaned with breathless distraction. He piled it on, his fingers and mouth dancing until Betty's legs reflexively shut on his head, muffling her yowl of passion as a wonderful cork of pleasure popped inside her.
Simon, surprised but feeling extremely proud of himself, slid up from between Betty's legs. “Good?” He asked, his face covered in her slick.
She grabbed him by the shoulders, smothering him with a kiss. “You saucy fucker, where did you learn that?”
Simon laughed. “Would you believe from Georgio?”
“I will find that man and ooohhh my god your pants are still on.” Betty gasped. “This is the wrongest of situations ever.” She made quick work of the buttons, sliding his pants off, leaving Simon bulging in just his boxer-breifs. A patch of dark had already begun to spread in front. “You poor thing.” She crooned. “Hips up.”
He complied, and Betty tugged his underwear down, letting his cock bob free from the soft cotton into the bedroom air. Betty's hands were quickly on it, cupping his balls and gently sliding over the shaft. She tickled behind his sack with her short fingernails, and worked up and down the shaft with surprisingly strong and silky soft hands.
“What else did Georgio teach you?” She whispered, punctuating her words with a kiss, her fantastic fingers sending tingles of electricity up Simon's pelvis. Her other hand lightly massaged his testicles, conscious of their delicate nature. She then slowly slid a finger between his ass cheeks.
“Camaraderie between fellows, the nature of love between... ooohhh god.” He groaned as Betty explored.
“You liike that.” She purred.
Simon just kissed her, one hand on the back of her head, the other taking hers on his cock. “Don't stop.” He groaned, echoing her from before. He guided her hand to the head of his cock, encouraging her to fondle the glans, as the fingers on her other hand crept down his taint. An index finger pressed on the tense ring of muscle, hesitating a moment before jamming home.
Simon came like a shotgun, squirting towards the ceiling through Betty's hands. His mouth open in a gape of delicious pleasure, he was caught without breath as he slipped back onto the bed, boneless. Betty followed him, kissing the bewilderment off his face.
“So you like it a little freaky.” She said, running her hands over his chest.
Simon relaxed in glorious state for a moment, completely unbothered for once about his stark nakedness, and slowly deflating cock. But it passed, and his sensible side kicked in. He rolled up from the bed, heading into the bathroom and grabbing two fresh towels and some hand sanitizer. Betty took They took an unsexy moment to clean up, and Simon stepped into a fresh pair of PJ pants, not completely trusting himself to be naked with Betty. She didn't seem bothered, choosing to make herself at home under the covers. Simon joined her, sliding in around her, settling her in his arms as if she'd always belonged there.
“Thanks.” She said with a smile, snuggling in.
Simon coughed. “Oh gee, yeah. Thanks does not cover it. You're spectacular.”
“Good as Georgio?”
“Lady hands are infinitely superior in managing delicate situations, such as my butt.” He said, sliding one hand down to grope her own. “I'm glad you like mine so much though.”
Betty giggled. “Cuddlebutts... Oh man, I must be tipsy really tired and wallowing in some kind of post coital afterglow for that to be funny at all.”
Simon kissed her head. “Sleep, then.”
--1:13 Jam: I may need you to cover my test in the morning, I may be on the way to the hospital because I may have broken something showing off my mad dance skillz
--1:47 Jam: The ER has doughnuts
--2:50 Jam: Siiiimmoooooonn answer yo phone
Simon slept lightly, unused to the new body in his bed. It was certainly nice, but he wasn't able to get more then snatches of sleep, careful to try not and move much in the night. Not that Betty seemed to mind, she was out like a light. Simon probably could have had a jam session on his drum kit and not woken her.
After a few hours, Simon was too antsy to stay still much longer, and slid out of bed. He went to the kitchen for a glass of water, and spied the notification light going off on his phone, over where he had left it next to the couch. Betty had placed his glasses on the coffee table. He slid on his glasses, took the opportunity to clean up the abandoned beer bottles, and tapped through his missed messages, all from James Chow. Then, as if he was psychic, a new message popped up.
--3:21 Jam: My mom is now mad at you for not coming out and preventing this. BTW sprained knee.
Simon winced, sitting down on the couch to have a few words with James.
--3:23 Simon: YOU TOLD BETTY I WAS GAY
--3:27 Simon: MY RAGE IS APOCALYPTIC. Prepare your will.
--3:29 Jam: wtf no
--3:30 Simon: You told her I was dating Geogios last year and somehow super unavailable.
--3:32 Simon: I'll come and break your other knee if you don't respond.
He got up and had that drink of water he swore he was only up for.
--3:35 Jam: Holy shit. She asked if you were together and I joked that you were only into big greek dick for the sociological value did she seriously take that seriously
--3:36 Jam: Also I don’t think I can do the china trip
--3:37 Jam: Wait did Betty come back from sern already
--3:38 Simon: I picked her up at the ferry because her roomate was busy being on fire along with the apartment they shared
--3:39 Simon: And because of end of term it's impossible to get a hotel
--3:41 Simon: You dumb broken fucker
--3:42 Jam: So how did your liberal views toward sexuality come up n convo
--3:43 Jam: lol thanks for the concern.
Simon tapped and deleted several attempts at explaining before giving up.
--3:49 Simon: It's complicated
--3:50 Jam: YOU HIT THAT
--3:50 Jam: FKUCIN YES FINALLY
--3:51 Simon: Dont be rude
--3:52 Jam: HE DONT DENY IT
--3:52 Jam: Yes awesome best night ever for both of us now except for mah knee
Simon was not denying it.
--3:55 Jam: BTW can you cover that test for me. B Building, Rm 213, 8:45, just my HIS107 kids. 1.5 hr essay, no phones but they can have 1 lined sheet of notes, back and front. I just have them hand the phones on my desk. All freshies, good group.
--3:56 Jam: Tell them tales of my greatness they will understand as they too are capable of astounding dumbassery.
--3:58 Simon: Fine. I'll drop the tests off after lunch. You seriously cant do China?
--3:59 Jam: I'm not doing a 12 hr plane ride in a leg brace again. I swore off that after the yeti.
--4:00 Jam: You'll be fine, you know enough Chinese to find the bathroom, and they all speak English at uni. It's just to get the permissions for mongolia.
--4:01 Jam: Betty speaks p.good Yue, bring her.
--4:02 Simon: How? She's a physicist.
--4:03 Jam: Suprise, math people can talk good words too. She lived in Hong Kong for awhile, Dr. Mui says she's good.
--4:05 Simon: No I mean by the funding rules, I can only bring someone within the archeology department.
--4:07 Jam: I got mad bureaucratic skillz. Let me swing it. Go to sleep, you have a test in the morning.
--4:08 Simon: Fuck you very much buddy
He tapped the phone to remind him to wake up at 8, and brought it into his room to charge. He slipped back into bed, and Betty didn't stir. It bothered him so much that Simon took a quick feel of her pulse, a bolt of anxiety calmed by her slowly beating heart. He kept his fingers there for a minute, lulled by it's strong throb, his own heartbeat slowing and eyes slowly loosing the ability to stay open..
He snuggled back next to Betty, and fell to sleep.