Chapter Text
Izuku didn’t mean to find the villain on his way to school. Really, he hadn’t.
Many times, Izuku had been late for that reason, but not this time! Today he was determined to make it to school on time for once! Izuku even purposely avoided the fight he could hear going on downtown. It seemed really exciting, and he had to focus to make sure he didn’t accidentally wander off towards it.
Judging by the sounds of destruction--mostly crushing sounds, like a building crumbling, which was really the only thing he’d be able to hear from this far away--the fight was between people with powerful, flashy quirks that Izuku would have loved to analyze, perhaps gigantification quirks, those were rare, especially two of them in the same place, and they had a lot of benefits. It was definitely a great quirk for a hero, but factoring in the damage to the city, there could be a hefty cost for buildings repairs and there could be limitations to the use of such a quirk. Of course, that sort of thing could be fixed by whether or not the hero could control their size. As for the villain, assuming he was also contributing to the destruction, they likely had a less admirable enlargement quirk, such as one that turned them into a monster. That said, there was Ryukyu, who literally turned into a dragon, the embodiment of a monster and she was the No. 9 hero.… Assuming there were even people with growth quirks fighting, he’d have to go to check… But he wasn’t going to! He was going to be on time to school for once!
Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Considering his luck, there had been no chance of that anyway, but Izuku hadn’t thought it would actually hurt to try.
The one time he’s not actively looking for a villain is the time that one decides to assault him underneath the bridge on his way to school. He hadn’t even noticed it at first, wrapped up in his internal struggle to not check the fight out. But the villain's words broke through his thoughts, sending his heart jumping.
“A medium sized invisibility cloak. Don’t worry kid, it won’t hurt for long.”
Izuku didn’t have time to turn before the villain was covering his mouth. His hand flew up and he tore frantically at the viscous liquid that was suddenly suffocating him, thrashing against the hot sludge that leadened his limbs, attempting to get out of the villains grasp, but he was well and truly constrained. Panic set in, his pulse racing violently as he continued to struggle, scrabbling along his neck as he tried to claw the substance away..
“Don’t worry, I’m just hijacking your body. It’ll only hurt for about five seconds.”’ It covered his mouth and forced his jaws open, squirming down his throat. The taste was acrid, sickening. Izuku gagged heavily, as his eyes burned and he failed to expel the foregin mass.
“Thanks, kid. You’re my hero.”
Izuku cried out through the asphyxiating sludge, his heart beating wildly as he struggled for air. His neck burned as it was squeezed and he could feel his nails gouging lines into his own skin as he continued clawing at the sludge.
Izuku felt tears burning at his eyes as he clawed desperately at the slimy mass. He didn’t want to be this monster’s hero.
His fingers slid uselessly through the liquid, not catching on it at all. Vaguely, Izuku heard the villain cackling at his plight, at how pitiful he was. Useless, even when it came to saving himself.
Slowly, Izuku stopped resisting, his lungs seizing as blackness crept around the edge of his vision.
And he suffocated.
Perhaps it was a good thing, Izuku thought as his eyesight blurred. One less burden on the world
If only his death wasn’t going to be an inconvenience for whoever had to deal with the villain.
Even dead, he was still going to be such a Deku. Too late now to fix that, he supposed, as his heart screamed for air and his death ticked closer.
Izuku limbs tingled as they lost sensation. The burning was fading. It was all just numb, as if he were floating far above the scene.
Barely, Izuku registered the loud crash as the sewer lid flew off, someone coming out. Izuku reached out weakly, not knowing if he was telling them not to bother or pleading for help.
Despite his murky vision, Izuku picked out a familiar silhouette and shouted words that had always inspired him.
Izuku slipped into darkness, relieved-- at least All Might would make sure the villain couldn’t use his corpse to harm anyone.
“It’s fine now! Why? Because I am here!”
…
Slowly consciousness seeped back into Izuku, followed by the gentle slapping of his cheek. Izuku moaned quietly. His head was pounding, opening his eyes was the last thing he wanted to do.
“Just five more minutes” Izuku mumbled hoarsely, trying to snuggle into his covers, only to meet hard concrete. Odd, but it was warm and heated by the sun, so really, it wasn’t that bad. In fact, maybe he could sleep on concrete more often? It was nice when you weren’t being shoved onto it, as it scraped and tore roughly at skin and left pavement burns. The warmth was nice. He wouldn’t need the sheets that so often snagged on his legs, restraint in the dark shadowy weight holding him down—
For now, he just didn’t want to get up.
“Come on, Kid. You’ve gotta get up. You were on your way to school, right?”
Izuku’s eyes shot open. All Might’s tanned face grinned brightly at him, noticing that his eyes were open. He stared blankly at the man as he tried to process everything, his mind running a million miles a minute.
“Ah! I’m glad to see you’re alright, young man! I was worried when you began muttering about sleeping on concrete! It’s good that you don’t have a concussion!”
Izuku stared blankly, trying to figure out if this was a dream. There was no way— no way!— that his idol, his hero, stood in front of him. Was this good karma for trying to be a normal student for once? Maybe if he continued to avoid villains and get to school on time, he could meet more heroes? (Something about that felt counterproductive, but he would take it.)
All Might still smiled down at him, although Izuku felt like he looked confused, even through the ever present smile.
“You are alright, yes?”
Izuku’s eyes widened, mind finally acknowledging that yes, this was happening. All Might jerked back quickly to avoid being slammed in the head as Izuku shot up into a sitting position.
“A-A-ALL MIGHT???” He screeched incredulously, then keeled over, hand clawing up at his neck as he felt the sensation of vile slime clinging to his throat. He gagged, retching onto the floor, more nausea filling him than before as he gasped for air that he suddenly couldn’t breathe.
All Might didn’t seem to notice.
Izuku did his best to ignore it, beaming up at his hero even as his throat burned and he longed to collapse to the ground and let the hot burn of the cement overwrite the cold stickiness of that violating sensation that clung to his skin.
The man himself laughed boisterously at Izuku’s shock, amused by his enthusiasm.
“Yes, it is I! I apologize for letting the villain escape. It’s my first day in a new town, and I’m afraid I let my guard down! I’m glad it caused no permanent damage!”
Izuku stared up at all might, teary-eyed and awed at his luck. The chances of running into a villain were very low on their own, and All Might’s activity had decreased lately, so the chance of All Might being the one to take on the villain was even lower. Then of course factoring in that it had been his first day in the town, so any other day All Might wouldn’t have been there to save him, and if he hadn’t then Izuku probably would have died then and maybe he wouldn’t have had to remember the feeling of slime clawing down his throat or the panic or the lack of sensation or the acceptance of keeping on liv-- maybe… maybe even meeting All Might wasn’t quite worth encountering the villain.
“You are alright, yes?” All Might was looking down at him, a slightly unnerved tilt to his smile. Izuku slammed a hand over his mouth, wincing at his embarrassing behavior.
“I’m so sorry All Might-sir! It’s a bad habit of mine and--” he mumbled through his palm, but All Might cut him off before he could start a new tangent.
“It’s alright, shounen! My success here is all due to you! I’ve safely contained the villain!” All Might held out several soda bottles with some eyes floating in them. Izuku stared up stunned at All Might before suddenly turning around and scrambling for his notebook.
“An autograph, something to sign, I’m sure it's here somewhere, ah my notebook!” He opened it up, ignoring the glimpse of spiraling redness, mottled like watercolor paint, that wrapped around his wrists and up his arm, only to find All Might’s signature scrawled across two pages. “He already signed it!” Izuku turned to All Might, thanking him profusely.
“I’mnotworthy!”
“Anything for a fan! But I must be going now, this villain has to be put under custody!”
Ah. Of course All Might wouldn’t stick around for a nobody like him.
“Wait!” Izuku called instinctively, heart jumping to his throat, immediately cursing himself for bothering the hero. All Might paused momentarily, but chose to turn around.
“Yes, young man?”
Izuku took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s because I’ve always--uh, I mean, that is, that there’s a lot of bullying at my school, but I think it’s a really cool thing to save people!” Even when no one else thinks they deserve it.
“That’s wonderful, young man. I take it you wish to become a hero?”
Izuku looked up at him, feeling warmth bloom across his face as he grinned shyly, ignoring the acrid tang that hung on the roof of his mouth. “Yes! I’ve always wanted to be a hero, smiling widely and reassuring everyone that everything is going to be alright! I wanted to be the strongest hero that saves people with a fearless smile, just like you!” Izuku paused, looking down at his intertwined hands. A caustic heat was burning in the back of his throat and he swallowed roughly, causing the lingering nausea to swell as he pushed down the sticky scent of sewage. “But is it possible for someone like me… someone without a quirk to become a hero?”
A heavy hand landed on his shoulder. Izuku looked up, heart filled with the light, fluttery hope of seeing a reassuring smile, but All Might’s smile had slipped, tight and forced. Izuku could feel his heart sinking even before All Might opened his mouth.
“Young man, it’s a admirable goal. But without power, can you be a hero? I should think not. It’s simply unattainable for someone like you.”
Izuku’s heart clenched tightly and his throat burned as he struggled not to cry. Of all words for All Might to have chosen… someone like him…. Izuku swallowed past the ache. He stared at the ground, the heat becoming a fire that he fought to ignore, recognizing the acrid burn of holding tears back. “People always act like being quirkless somehow makes me less than human...They treat me like I’m fragile and… useless.” Izuku muttered to the ground, able to see in peripheral vision how his idol tensed. It was all he could do to not break into tears. “I always hoped heroics might be different, that people would tell me I don’t need a quirk to help people. I really… I desperately wanted you to see quirklessness as something more than being defective.”
“I’m sorry, young man.” All Might sighed deeply. “I imagine that earlier you were going to say that you are bullied, no? If you can’t protect yourself, I don’t believe that you have the potential to help others.” He frowned tightly. “You were useless against that villain earlier, after all. I can only imagine that, as a hero, your efforts would be similarly futile… worthless in the grand scheme of things. I think that, for your safety and for the safety of others, you should give up. It would be different if you had been born with a quirk, but…”
He paused, as the ground seemed to rise up to swallow Izuku. He held back tears and that acrid tang that was growing and growing and suffocating-- and maybe was a bit more than just leftover sludge. His hero observed him carefully, eyes sad.
“You can’t become a hero.”
And All Might left him there under the bridge. Even once he was long gone from sight, Izuku remained a frozen statue, eyes trained on the pavement, a great invisible weight pressing down. In the distance, the school bells rang, and with one last shuddering breath, a sense of revulsion and shame consuming him, Izuku turned around numbly and walked back through the dirty underpass, oblivious to the hot tears running down his face.
• • •
Izuku was numb. Someone had pressed pause, and he couldn’t find the remote to fix himself. Some students jeered at him as they walked past, but he didn’t acknowledge it. All he could do was stare at his notebook, ‘Hero Analysis for the future, No. 13.’. He was pathetic. Trying so hard to ignore the truth, pretend like he was worth something more. He would get rid of the book later, he decided. Rip it into shreds, stab ink through the pages until they bled and throw it off a building... then throw hi--
“You’re all third years now, so it’s time to start thinking about your futures! I’d pass out the forms, but you’re all pretty much aiming to be heroes, right?!” the teacher started cheering loudly.
He threw the papers into the air as Izuku’s classmates began demonstrating all of their quirks. Izuku stared unblinkingly at his desk, tracing faded insults and mean-spirited baiting with his eyes. What if he had been born with one. Any of them, even the useless ones. If all Izuku could do was pull his eyes out of his sockets, at least it wouldn’t mean he was quirkless and powerless and completely and utterly useless--
The teacher lightly berated the students' illegal quirk use, but as always, didn’t do anything about it. Izuku winced as a familiar voice called out. Would they have still been friends if Izuku wasn’t useless?
“Sensei! Don’t lump me in with the rest of these losers.” Izuku hunched his shoulders more. He knew exactly where this was heading. “I don’t have a lame quirk like the rest of these rejects!” The class shouted out in indignation, but he just laughed. “You’re all just extras-- act like it!”
Izuku didn’t want to hear anything about heroes, so he tried shutting himself out, going back to that same dissociated state where he could be free from the conversation. Because he knew where this was heading.
Not with burns because Kacchan would never, had never risked it. Or perhaps he just wasn’t worth it to Kacchan, who was always so much brighter, so much better than everyone else. It would end in bruises though, long ones shaped like fingers ringed around his wrist or beat across his chest by the lackeys who took Kacchan’s pride and brightness as an excuse to harm those they didn’t like.
The teacher shuffled through his papers at the front of the room. “Ah, that’s right. Bakugou, you of course, are aiming for U.A.High School.” The class looked at him in shock, muttering how low the acceptance rate was. Kacchan crowed at them, proclaiming how well he’d done on the mock exam. Izuku looked down at his desk, the remains of Sharpie insults faded, but still readable. He had done well too , he thought faintly. Not that it mattered anymore, that it had ever mattered. The teacher was still shuffling through his papers.
“You’re trying for U.A. as well, Midoriya?” Kacchan froze, and, along with the rest of the class, slowly turned around to face him. Izuku didn’t bother looking up from his desk as the entire class broke into laughter.
“What, Midoriya? No way!”
“You can’t be a hero!”
“Good grades aren’t enough to get into the hero program!”
“What an idiot!”
“How delusional can you get?”
The words swarmed around him. Before, he would have denied them, listed the facts-- that they’d taken away that rule, that there was nothing wrong about trying. Today though, well, he’d finally realized that they weren’t wrong.
Instead, he cut through the jaunts and cheers.
“I’m withdrawing my application, actually.” His words came out harsh and cold, voice still hoarse, managing to silence everyone who stared at him with wide, confused eyes. His own eyes widened as his hand jumped up to cover his mouth. He hadn’t wanted to admit it out-loud just yet, not when he was still struggling to accept it. An explosion slammed onto the desk in front of him, throwing him off his seat and onto the floor as he flinched back.
“DEKU!” Kacchan glared down at Izuku. “Don’t think you can lie to us, Deku. If any idiot uselessly believes they can be a hero, it’s you! Forget the crappy quirks, you don’t even have one. You would just die in the first four minutes!”
Izuku stayed on the floor, eyes to the ground, resolutely silent. It didn’t matter if they believed him, anyway. It would change nothing. Kacchan was just smart, just right, just like All Might. They knew he would only get himself killed (was it wrong that Izuku didn’t ca--).
“Haa? You gonna ignore me, you useless Deku?” Izuku felt tears welling up, but he didn’t respond. The burn in his throat turned into an inferno in his chest and he bit back the bile that rose with every breath..
Tugging at his cuffs to cover the blotchy bruises winding around his wrists from Kacchan’s intense stare(he didn’t need to give Kacchan another reason to call him worthless), he ducked his head, moving his gaze away from Kacchan and down toward the floor. Kacchan clicked his tongue, glaring at him. Izuku could feel the heat of the glare on the back of his neck even once he dropped back into his seat.
The teacher cleared his throat, calling attention back to him. “Enough with that then! Onto the rest of the class.”
Izuku tried really hard, he really did, but he couldn’t block out his classmates’ parting comments.
“What a loser.”
“Quirkless freak.”
“How lame, you’re not even gonna defend yourself, huh?”
“What can you even do?”
Kacchan remained silent, but Izuku could feel his gaze on the top of his head as he refused to move from his position against the wall, still silent.
Why did they care so much?
All Izuku had done was finally accept reality.