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Dany walked out of prison, five foot two of swagger, and Yara rolled her eyes. She opened the car door and slipped into the passenger seat, leaning across to kiss Yara's cheek. "I told you that Tyrion would get me out."
"You're lucky he's a better lawyer than he is a criminal," said Yara; she put the car into reverse, the ancient gears grinding. "It was his plan that got you locked up in the first place, remember?"
Dany looked around the interior of the rusty hatchback, at the fuzzy dice and empty fast food wrappers, with a wrinkled nose. "Nice car."
Yara backed up, switched into first gear and pulled away from the prison gates, the rustbucket kangarooing with the acceleration. "I borrowed it from my brother."
"Well–" Dany tipped her head towards the driver's side with that smile that she thought was enigmatic, and that drove Yara batty "–you're going to need a better ride for our next job."
"Our next job?" said Yara, trying to sound incredulous on 'our', 'next' and 'job' and ending up sounding weirdly high pitched.
Dany had already turned away and was looking out the passenger side window with a small, satisfied smile that said she knew Yara would ultimately agree.
"Fine," said Yara, watching the road. "Don't tell me."
*
Street food and beer on the Lannisport seafront might have been what Yara would have spent her last forty bucks on after being released from prison, but it felt a little...underwhelming for Dany.
Yara wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "What are we doing here, Dany?"
"I've been in prison, Yara." Dany cupped Yara's cheek and swiped her thumb across Yara's bottom lip, getting rid of any lingering crumbs or smears of ketchup. "I've been thinking about you." Dany's smile was teasing. "And how cheap a date you are."
"As if you couldn't get laid inside a women's prison," said Yara. "And if that was all you wanted you'd be plying Jon Snow with alcohol right about now."
There was no sting in Yara's comment; even if she had been the type to go green-eyed over Dany's other lovers, watching the painfully straight-laced and law-abiding Jon Snow struggle with his attraction to Dany would still have been hilarious.
Dany was still touching Yara's cheek. She leaned in close as though to kiss her, and turned Yara's face away towards the bay. "What do you see?" Dany asked.
"Water," said Yara drily. "Lots of."
Dany brushed her lips along Yara's jaw, and nipped at her earlobe. "What else?"
Yara really looked: seagulls, a small and ageing fishing fleet, and built into the cliffs of the bay, looking so solid and impregnable as to all but vanish into the landscape...
"...Casterly Rock?" said Yara in disbelief. "You want to rip off the Lannisters?"
Dany pulled away and grinned. "You know how I said you were going to need a new ride: I assume you know how to drive a motorboat?"
"Where in the seven hells are we going to get a boat?"
"I'll take that as a yes," said Dany. This time when she leaned in she kissed Yara full on the mouth; she tasted of cheap beer, salt air, and money.
*
Yara's apartment was a craphole, but the rent was paid in cash and nothing was in her name, and anyway Dany hadn't had the chance yet to grift her way in anyplace nicer.
Yara stood in the kitchen and put the kettle on to boil; she was wearing boy shorts and a t-shirt, and her feet were cold against the linoleum floor. Dany was sitting at the formica kitchen table wearing Yara's too long skull and crossbones pyjama bottoms with nothing on top.
"You know we can't do this," said Yara. The idea of stealing from the Lannisters had been one hell of a turn on; as it must have been for Dany too, because wow. But now reality was creeping back in to Yara's temporarily lust addled brain and she could see just how impossible it was. "If we're very lucky Tywin will just send Jaime to break our legs, and if we're not lucky he'll send Gregor Clegane."
Dany looked pleased with herself. "That won't happen. I've got a contact at the Iron Bank; Tywin and Cersei are being summoned to Braavos for a meeting, they'll take Jaime with them for security. The only people in Casterly Rock will be the staff and Cersei's son."
"And, what," asked Yara, "we just stroll in and walk out with Cersei's jewellery and Tywin's whatever?"
"Somebody does, yes. We've got a bigger target," Dany grinned, "a little bird told me–"
"Varys," interrupted Yara flatly. Varys' information was always good, and it always came with a price.
"A little bird told me about a secret vault in Casterly Rock where they keep the books for all the Lannister businesses; legitimate and…not. We're going to steal the whole Lannister empire."
Yara fumbled the kettle off the boil, barely feeling the steam scalding her hand. The value of what Dany was talking about was astronomical...assuming anybody knew you had it.
"And who's going to stop Clegane from murdering us while we auction the books off to the highest bidder?"
Dany managed to look even more pleased with herself, if that was possible. "We won't need to auction them. I already have a buyer lined up."
"Who?"
"You know when you asked me where we were going to get a boat from?" Yara nodded, and Dany turned over her hand and produced a single key that she slid across the table towards Yara. "Olenna Tyrell sends her regards."
"Getting between the Lannisters and the Tyrells," Yara rolled her eyes. "Seems smart."
Dany rose and crossed the kitchen to where Yara was standing. "Do you want to know how much money Olenna is going to pay for us for those books? I'm going to tell you how much she's going to pay us." Dany leaned in, her breasts pressing against Yara, and whispered a number into Yara's ear.
"That's–"
"It's enough to pay off Theon's debts," suggested Dany. "I know he still owes your uncle, you could get him out from under Euron's thumb once and for all."
Yara sighed. She and Dany had first met when Dany had been caught running the Dothraki horse scam and been sent to the same prison where Yara was serving time for the assault, pleaded down from attempted murder, of Ramsey Bolton for what he'd done to Theon. Dany knew better than almost anyone how protective Yara was of her baby brother.
Yara pushed Dany back a step by her shoulders, and looked pointedly down at her chest. "Fine. I'm in. You don't have to flash your tits at me anymore. Put a shirt on, sit down and talk me through your plan, from the beginning."
*
For someone almost old enough to have been around when dragons and direwolves walked the world, Olenna Tyrell had pretty badass taste in motorboats.
From the deck of their boat Dany was pointing out Varys' secret way into Casterly Rock, a hundred feet of nearly sheer cliff above them.
Yara examined Dany's arms, which otherwise had a lot to recommend them, but had all the muscle definition of wet spaghetti. Yara herself had grown up climbing the Salt Cliffs on Pyke; if she had all the right equipment and five or six hours she could maybe make the climb, but even if they had that kind of time, the traditional role of a getaway driver was to stay with the getaway vehicle. "Unless you've been working out in prison a hell of a lot more than I think you have," she said, "we're going to need an accomplice."
Dany's expression was smug. "There's someone I think you should meet."
*
Yara looked at her watch and huffed. She wasn't surprised that Dany was late; for as long as Yara had known her, Dany had liked to make dramatic entrances.
Yara slouched further against the wall, away from all the people passing this busy intersection. She decided she'd give Dany five more minutes. Somebody brushed against her, hardly surprising in this crush, except that Yara recognized a deliberate collision, however well executed, when she felt one.
Yara was a daughter of the Iron Islands mob, something most pickpockets could sense a mile away, and tended to avoid like the plague. Her hand shot out to collar the little punk, and she was surprised when her fingers closed on thin air.
The pickpocket - a kid, Yara thought, short haired, slight and skinny - darted into the crowd, and Yara took off in pursuit, planning to deliver an important lesson about honor amongst thieves alongside a bloody nose.
The kid spun artfully through the crowd, vaulted over a man bending to tie his shoe, and darted into the road, sliding across the hood of a still moving car. Yara followed, flipping off the driver whose curses mixed with the sound of squealing brakes.
Yara chased the kid into an alley just in time to see them kick off one wall, catch the drainpipe on the opposite side of the alley, shin up the wall as though gravity was optional, and disappear over the rooftops.
"Well, blow me."
*
When Yara got back to her apartment she found Dany and the pickpocket sitting on the couch together looking cozy as anything. The thief was a girl, although not as young as Yara had first taken her for; Yara could well imagine how her baby face worked to her advantage if she ever got caught.
"I'd introduce you two," said Dany, "but Arya tells me that you've already met."
Yara held her hand out to Arya. "Watch," she demanded gruffly. Arya reached into her hoodie and produced Yara's watch, which was plastic and worth about five bucks, but was also Theon's idea of a welcome home-cum-sorry you got sent to prison present.
"How big of a cut have you promised her?" Yara asked Dany.
"Ten percent," answered Arya, "plus anything else I lift while I'm in there."
"Sounds fair," conceded Yara. "Welcome to the team, I guess."
*
"We're going to need a grifter, too," said Dany, which explained why she was flipping through a stack of pictures that appeared to be a mix of actor's headshots and arrest photographs. "Someone to walk in the front door and distract everyone while you and Arya sneak round the back."
"I thought that was going to be your job."
Dany shook her head ruefully. "Change of plan, Lannister security knows my face."
"Is this the bit where you suggest Daario?" asked Yara teasingly; she wasn't jealous of Dany's other partners, criminal or sexual, but she could never resist the temptation to make fun of her occasionally terrible taste in both.
"This job needs a woman," said Dany, shaking her head. "Hey, what about Ellaria?"
"She's not an option."
"Why not? Since when do you let hookups get in the way of a job?"
"I don't," said Yara, "but I don't think that King's Landing prison will let Ellaria out of her cell just to help us out."
"Hmm," Dany hummed. "Well, I guess we'll figure out a grifter later.
*
Yara wasn't sure which part of the plan necessitated letting Arya Stark hang around her apartment at all hours of the day and night.
Arya was perched on the kitchen counter kicking her heels against the cabinets while Yara scrambled eggs. Dany was still half-asleep in Yara's bedroom; unless forced to keep prison hours she never surfaced much before noon.
"So," said Arya, picking up a mouthful of eggs straight from the pan and eating with her mouth open. "You and Dany: is she your girlfriend or what?"
"Or what," answered Yara, smacking the back of Arya's hand with a spatula.
*
The three of them met Dany's choice for their grifter in a waterfront cafe in Lannisport.
The waitress had just served them their drinks when a fourth woman Yara didn't recognize joined them at their table; she was all princess hair, cat's eyes, and cleavage.
"Sparkling water, thank you," she told the waitress, before offering her hand to Dany. "Daenerys Targaryen, I presume? My grandmother has told me so much about you."
"Ladies," said Dany, "I'd like you to meet Margaery Tyrell. Her grandmother recommends her highly."
Yara scoffed, and Arya said, "My granny recommends me too, and she died before I was born."
"How much?" Yara asked.
"Margaery will be paid out of grandmother's profits," said Dany.
"Plus anything valuable I manage to lift on the job," interrupted Margaery.
"Snap," said Arya, clinking her energy drink against Margaery's sparkling water in solidarity.
"Look," said Yara, "I don't care whose granddaughter you are, I've never seen you work."
"I thought you might say that–" Margaery glanced over her shoulder towards the cafe doors, which had just been filled with two brutes in ill-fitting suits who were doing a piss poor job of pretending to be anything other than bodyguards, and said "–so I've arranged a demonstration."
Margaery popped open two more buttons on her already low-cut outfit; Dany noticed Yara staring, kicked her ankle, and mouthed "Not now." Margaery picked up her glass of water and sauntered across the cafe. The bodyguards parted to admit a young guy in his late teens or early twenties with over-gelled blond hair and ferrety features.
The seemingly oblivious Margaery wandered straight into the blonde guy, and Yara had to admit that there was a certain artistry to the way she managed to get only a few spots of water onto his shirt while spilling most of it down her own cleavage.
"Not exactly subtle, is she?" said Arya.
"I don't think Joffrey Baratheon is a subtle guy," said Dany, watching Joffrey's eyes bulge out of his skull.
*
The diner where Dany met Jon Snow was pretty out of the way, and it was sheer coincidence that Yara happened to be passing and saw them through the window. Theon had had a bad day, and Yara had just left after spending most of the evening calming him down.
Dany must have felt Yara staring at her, because she looked out the window and met Yara's eyes. "Seriously?" Yara mouthed. She shouldered her way into the diner and went over to Dany and Jon's table. "Dany. Officer Snow."
"Greyjoy," said Jon Snow. He pressed a quick, awkward kiss to the corner of Dany's mouth. "I'll think about what you said."
Both Dany and Yara watched Jon Snow leave, his police cap pulled low over his eyes. "Don't start," said Dany, rising from her seat. "Don't get jealous."
"I wouldn't care if I thought you were sleeping with him again," hissed Yara, grabbing Dany's elbow and pulling her close. "But I know what you look like when you're trying to get someone into bed and what you look like when you're trying to get them involved in a felony, and that was the second one."
Dany shrugged out of Yara's grip, made an apologetic face at the waitress and customers who were gawping at their exchange, and left the diner with Yara hot on her heels.
"I want to give Jon the Lannister books," she admitted.
"Gods!" snapped Yara, loud enough that passersby looked at them. "I should have known. You do this every time!"
"Do what?"
"Take a perfectly straightforward job and add some bullshit prince of thieves twist to it."
"Look," Dany took Yara's hand and dragged her into an alleyway, out of the cold wind and out of earshot. "I don't want to give Jon everything, Olenna will still get what she's paying for, just enough to bring some real heat down on the Lannisters. Maybe enough to finally bring them down. They deserve it. They're–"
"They're bad guys," Yara drawled. "So are we."
"No, we're criminals. But I'm not any more like Cersei Lannister than you're like your uncle Euron."
Yara exhaled through her teeth. "Low blow, Dany."
Dany pressed close, twining her arms around Yara's neck. "If Tywin goes down it'll be chaos, and we'll be the only ones who know it's coming. We could do anything; we could take down Euron, you could take over his entire operation."
"You want me to take over the sex trafficking business?" Yara asked incredulously.
"Take it over." Dany stood on her toes and nipped Yara's bottom lip. "Burn it down."
That, Yara had to admit, held a certain appeal.
"Okay," she conceded, "we'll do it your way."
"Great," said Dany, with a quick peck of Yara's lips. "You know, I've been thinking, Jon's sweet, but maybe we need a bigger gun to set on the Lannisters. What was the name of that detective that busted you all those times? Do you know her email address?"
"Brienne Tarth," said Yara drily, "and, no, we haven't kept in touch."
*
Yara pulled the speedboat as close to flush with the cliff as she could in the moonlight.
If things were going to plan then right now Margaery would be distracting Joffrey, convincing him to let her try on his mother's jewellery, and behaving just enough like a thief to hold the undivided attention of Lannister security.
Arya pulled a black cap over her hair and said, "Any last tips?"
Yara looked at Arya's total lack of safety ropes or other equipment. "Don't fall."
"Good advice." Arya hopped up onto the side of the boat, gauged her jump, and easily hit the cliff face. Yara watched her disappear into the darkness and settled in to wait.
*
Yara had delivered Arya to the shore with a backpack full of memory sticks and paper ledgers detailing every Lannister family dirty little secret going back decades. She'd then sailed the boat down the coast to somewhere it could be stashed without attracting attention.
By the time she'd hidden the boat, and taken a massive detour to be sure she wasn't being followed, it was nearing dawn by the time she got back to the apartment. She found Dany asleep on the couch wearing one of Yara's shirts.
Dany sat up, yawned and stretched; the shirt rode up and her toes curled. She noticed Yara's stare, grinned and said, "Nice, isn't it?" fingering a necklace Yara honestly hadn't noticed she was wearing; gold with what looked like a real ruby. "It was Cersei's. Margaery left it as a token of her affection. Although, if she'd really wanted to show her appreciation she would have told me how she managed to smuggle so much of Cersei's jewellery out of Casterly Rock under the eyes of the guards in that dress."
"Yeah," Yara drawled, "because it was the necklace I was staring at." She stripped out of her jacket and took a seat on the couch, pulling Dany's legs across her lap. "So everything went to plan."
"Margaery delivered the ledgers to her grandmother, and the money's already in our account. Arya stopped by to get her cut, climbed out the window," Dany tipped her head towards the open window, "and disappeared like a cat."
"Sounds like her."
"And I've made sure that certain excerpts got to Jon and Brienne. Now we just wait for the shit to hit the fan."
Yara ran her hand up the back of Dany's calf. "And what do we do in the meantime?"
Dany sat up and straddled Yara's lap, with a delighted grin. "Have you ever had sex in a boat, Yara? Because I never have, and I've always wanted to."