Work Text:
Sasuke had left them to join Orochimaru’s “village”.
At the time, Sakura didn’t know what to do. The Uchiha girl wanted desperately to go, and it was obvious to Sakura in the way she brought it up. The guilt in her voice, and the way she wouldn’t meet their eyes, spoke volumes. Their normally assertive girlfriend, the one who would never acknowledge a mistake--rarely made mistakes--would never have let them see her so conflicted about something that wasn’t monstrously important to her. Sakura knew the decision would have consequences. That the snake would never willingly let her leave him while they both lived. But to see her Sasuke, as certain and brilliant as a knife, so torn by this decision gave her pause. So she hesitated, and didn’t protest, and let the decision play itself out.
It took her many nights of sleepless introspection to realize that she’d expected Naruto to be the one to protest. She should have reminded them that this was a ridiculous conversation, yelled at them that they were caught up in their own heads and blinded to the obvious wrongness of it all.
It took her many more nights to realize that Naruto had been expecting the same from her.
Fuck her for hurting me like this! I hate her! I hate this! I hate being left behind and I hate worrying and I hate wondering if she’s worried about me and I miss her so much and it hurts and I Hate It.
It had been a month. One of those months that feels like eternity. Every day it felt like her entire world was changing. Naruto felt so distant now, in her grief. Sakura couldn’t blame her but it still hurt. Their former closeness felt like the warm memory of a childhood summer; perfect and vague and irrevocably past.
Of course, it would always have been different without their third. After a few desperate, clinging nights together, they realized that they didn’t know how to be a couple just between the two of them. And as the passion and pain of the first nights faded, their time together became more a reminder of what they’d lost than any kind of comfort.
Naruto wanted to go traveling with Jiraiya. Sakura understood the need to run away. She couldn’t blame the blonde for wanting to escape the feeling Sasuke had left them with. She could, and did, blame Naruto for wanting to abandon her. The last time they’d talked about it, she’d yelled and cried until the butch girl gave in. But Sakura knew that had been a temporary victory. Naruto had been sulking for the couple days since then, and Sakura could feel that the emotional ground she’d claimed was soon to be lost.
She found the butch girl in a workmen’s pub, one of her favorite places to brood. She took a seat beside the blonde at the bar, where a couple other rough-looking women were drinking through the late afternoon malaise.
“You shouldn’t drink when you’re upset,” Sakura chastised, before ordering herself something strong and sweet.
“Back atcha,” Naruto growled.
“I’m not upset anymore.” She felt kind of numb, actually. She definitely shouldn’t be drinking. She realized she wasn’t completely unfeeling though. “Well, I’m not upset at you at least. I’m starting to really hate that moody prick for leaving.”
“Will you hate me, when I go?” The blonde girl wasn’t looking at her, seemingly engrossed in the bartop. Her shaggy hair was getting long enough for the bangs to hang in front of her eyes. She really ought to have gotten a haircut before it got this long. Sakura wonders if the girl was really too depressed to do it, or if it’d just slipped her mind without someone around to tease her for it.
Naruto’s eyes were on her now, challenging. She’d forgotten to answer, and the girl had apparently assumed the worst. “No,” Sakura mused, “I don’t think I will. I think I understand why you’re going, which helps, but also that asshole already broke the seal on this one. Compared to that, you leaving is…” She wasn’t sure what it was, but figured she didn’t have to finish.
Sasuke would have known what it was. Fuck Sasuke.
Naruto was still looking at her, a bit wetly. “I’m not running away you know. I’ll be back. I’ll be back soon, even!” This was new, she’d originally been planning to leave for a year or more. Sakura softened despite herself, realizing that the blonde was really trying to find a compromise. “I’d travel with Jiraiya as he does research on Orochimaru’s plans, and the Akatsuki. He wants to train me in sealing, and teach me how to…” here she seemed to search for the words, “ deal with the kyuubi. But, I’ll come back every couple of months. To visit you, and keep you updated on our findings!”
Sakura was charmed, but a little nonplussed. “Why come back at all? Won’t that limit the distance you and Jiraiya can go afield?” sweet gestures aside, Sakura was more than sick of feeling like she was holding her teammates back. If Naruto really wanted to go on a grand adventure with Jiraiya of the Sannin, Sakura would sooner give her up completely than be the limiting factor.
Naruto had caught something though, in the pink girl’s demeanor or the lilt of her voice. Knowing her compromise had gone over well she grinned a bit, before sobering. “I don’t want to lose you too. I-” she choked minutely on some mixture of grief and bitterness. “Fuck,” she muttered, “I miss her so much.”
Sakura stood from her stool at the bar to wrap the smaller girl in a gentle hug. Over the past month they hadn’t spent much pleasant time together, mostly just arguing or moping together and then retreating to whatever private coping mechanisms each could find. But knowing that the other girl was going to leave made her feelings suddenly uncomplicated. The weary resentfulness of the past month fell away, and the underlying comfort and trust she felt towards the foxish blonde welled up in her chest.
“No girls while you’re on the road,” Sakura joked into the back of Naruto’s hair. “And write to me if you’re going to miss a visit. And be careful around Akatsuki! Those guys are terrifying,” she sniffed a bit as the list went on, trying not to cry, “and if you see Sasuke, tell her,” a dozen feelings rose up in her, “‘get the fuck back here once you’re done being an idiot’, or something.”
“Alright,” Naruto chuckled, “but if I find out where she is you’ll be the first to know; you can tell her yourself.”
Mollified, Sakura slumped back into her seat at the bar and finished her drink. “So when do you leave?”
“Jiraiya says he’s ready whenever. He’s been getting antsy, actually. Probably tomorrow.”
“So soon,” Sakura sighed, “well, it makes sense.” With a sly look at the blonde she continued, “I’ve got you tonight though, huh? I suppose I’ll have to remind you just what you’re coming back to.” Feeling the butch girl grin as she kissed her was all the response Sakura needed.
Fuck Sasuke. We can love each other just fine without her.