Chapter Text
"Hi Freshman! Welcome to Chandrila University's West Hall!"
Ben struggles not to roll his eyes at the perky blonde, who’s clearly had too much pumpkin spice latte. At least he was able to ditch his parents before the awkward, but inevitable get to know you shit. He elbows Poe, his new roommate, and gestures toward the door to a stairwell.
Maybe they can skip whatever tour or forced bonding session their guide has planned. Ben’s not sure what else they’ll do, but anything would be better than this.
At least Poe seems like a good guy—a little too good, though. Ben is only mildly annoyed by how quickly his mother approved of him. Is it too much to ask to have a roommate who hangs appalling posters and plays obscene music to horrify his parents enough so they won’t visit?
Apparently, it is too much to ask. His mother’s already invited Poe to Thanksgiving Dinner.
Ben can just imagine Poe as their perfect golden son, despite the lack of relation.
Next to him, Poe shakes his head, casting Ben a scolding look for trying to skip out on their mandatory Freshman orientation. Ben sighs, yielding, and dutifully directs his attention back to Kaydel, their new RA with an obvious pumpkin spice addiction. Her hair is up in two buns. It’s cute, he guesses, but her personality is exhausting, and he’s only been in the little crowd of Freshman for five minutes.
"So, you've all moved into your rooms and met your roommates," she continues, eyes bright and smile huge. "And now we'll get to know each other. Everyone take a seat."
She’s guided them to a pseudo-living room centered on the third floor of their building, and Ben watches tiredly as a dozen and a half freshmen find places to sit, with varying levels of discomfort. Most settle for the floor. The circle he finds himself in is reminiscent of elementary school story time, and he huffs, stretching his legs out next to Poe.
He’s being an ass. He knows this, but still, he mutters to the guy next to him, “How long do you think this’ll take?”
Poe shrugs.
Kaydel speaks up again, “This’ll be the floor we’re living on this year, and I think things will go more smoothly if we get to know each other.”
Why, though? Why? It’s not like he plans to strike up a conversation with whoever showers in the stall next to him. He needs to be at least begrudgingly friendly with Poe, but the whole floor?
Ben’s starting to think college isn’t the best place for an introvert. As it is, people his age have been stopping him all day. He dubbed it freshman disease —the guarantee that every person wearing a lanyard containing their freshly laminated student ID and room key would stop you, regardless of your location, and ask three things: your name, home state, and major.
Ben Solo, none of your business, avoiding people.
He isn’t there to make friends, doesn’t want to be there at all—he just wants to write, but Han and Leia have opinions about that, and after a lot of wasted breath and energy… here he is.
At Freshman Orientation.
Glancing around, Ben concludes that nobody in the room realizes most of the newly formed friendships will end by midterms. It’s odd, that people seem intent on attaching themselves to anyone they can latch on to. Like safety blankets. Like they’ll actually miss home.
“Let’s play a game!” His attention snaps back to Kaydel, and a little dread seeps in when he sees her wide grin. “Two truths and a lie! I’ll go first. See if you can guess the lie. My favorite color is blue. I'm a Pisces, and I’m majoring in mathematics.”
A few people, Poe included, make guesses until Kaydel admits her favorite color is yellow.
Ben zones out as people take turns rattling off random bits of information.
Then… someone catches his attention. She’s toward the back, which is probably why he hasn’t noticed her, but her English accent stands out as she talks. Her hair is back in an odd row of three buns, and she’s in a casual jeans, gray hoodie—
Adorable freckles. Pert nose. Crossed arms. An expression of pure boredom.
“Right. My turn,” she mutters, sardonic and with all the enthusiasm of an alcoholic who’s been forcibly brought to an AA meeting.
Ben thinks maybe he’s found a kindred spirit.
He listens, enraptured, as she goes on, “I’m Rey. Two truths and a lie?” She rolls her eyes. “My parents sold me for drinking money, I think lying is stupid and life would be better if we were all brutally honest, and… hm.” She pauses, possibly not realizing the room’s gone dead silent. Her smirk grows, and malicious glee threads through her voice, “And I fucking love these getting to know you games.”
The room can’t get more silent, but somehow it does. Nobody offers a guess, but that’s because it’s pretty obvious which one of her three is a lie.
Ben can’t help but gape at the beautiful, sullen angel who’s just made the whole day worthwhile.
“Perfect,” Rey murmurs, with a single nod. She spins on her heel, and storms off down one of the halls.
He stares after her.
Rey has a chip on her shoulder—she knows this, logically, but she also knows she’s got excellent reasons for said chip.
Sold as a baby, atrocious orphanage, neglectful guardians, bullies, really the list of grievances she has with the world has been building almost since she was born. Her being expected to smile and bear it is utter bullshit.
The only bright spot in her eighteen years was a college acceptance. She grabbed it and ran. It’s been quite the experience.
Her new roommate, a feisty, cute little thing named Rose, is impossible to dislike.
Rey’s tried. It’s impossible.
Rose is bright and cheery and enthusiastic, and all the things Rey desperately wants to be but just wasn’t meant for, and yet, Rey adores her anyway, right from their meeting when Rose pulls a massively long Doctor Who scarf out of a box.
The girl even orders them a pizza, and she shares.
People don’t share food. Rose shares, though, and Rey doesn’t know what to make of it.
But then the good ends and the team-building crap starts, with Kaydel Ko Connix—her worst nightmare in bubbling pure sunshine—knocking at her door. She tries to avoid it. Tries to hide in a closet, tries to beg off with illness, tries to literally duck into another dorm room. It only results in her meeting a guy named Finn, who’s confused, but not against her hiding in his room.
Sadly, Kaydel appears there, too, determined to get the entire floor to take part.
So Rey stands there, grumbling to herself the whole time, folding her arms over her chest while she leans against a wall and listens to people play a silly game that provides no true knowledge about any of them.
Oh, you both like the color blue? What a fantastic foundation for friendship.
Rey had to learn the hard way that friendships don’t stick. People get adopted and forget their old friends, or they steal your shit while you sleep.
And then it’s her turn, and her two bitter truths fly out of her mouth before she has a chance to shove them through whatever filter she should have developed by now.
There’s little point in trying to recover when the room’s looking at her like she’s just lit herself on fire, so Rey trudges on being the snarky bitch she’s learned to be, and while it puts a target (or maybe a WARNING sign) on her forehead, it gives her a chance to escape.
She ignores the horrified, disapproving look her roommate sends her first.
Rey’s halfway down the hall to her room, when she hears footsteps following her.
Kaydel, she guesses, come to scold her. Annoying, but understandable.
Instead, she turns and face-plants into someone’s chest.
He lets out a breathy oof and grabs her shoulders to steady her, and Rey’s eyes shoot up to see one of her floormates—a guy with long, wavy black hair and a shy, toothy grin.
“Hey. I’m Ben,” he says, looking at her like he’s just been saved from something particularly painful.
Maybe he has been.
“Rey.”
He snorts. “I heard.”
She notices he’s still got a hold on her shoulders, and he seems to realize it at the same time, because he lets go, stepping back and working his jaw.
His next words are a godsend. “Want to sneak out of here?”
It’s like she’s found a breath of fresh air in a cloud of smoke.
Rey gets coffee with him—it becomes their daily routine—and they bond over their mutual hatred for most of what’s going around them. When that dies down, they bond over… everything.
Ben’s her first friend. Friend, like, actual friend, that thing she never thought she’d have nor need. She’s not sure when they determine they’re friends and nothing more, but it’s an unspoken agreement, and it’s fine. Fine, because even like this, they’re good for each other. They lighten each other up. They each find that little spark in the other and fan it until they’re both bright and happy.
Happy. Rey is stunned, because she can’t believe that’s a thing she gets to feel.
It confuses their friends, this unspoken agreement they have, and when it gets to the point of them prodding her for an explanation, Rey has to admit she’s not sure, either. It hurts, just a little, but no matter how attracted to him she is, it’s clear he doesn’t want more. Whether it’s because he treasures their rare friendship or what, Rey doesn’t know.
He dates. Not much, but over time, Rey decides she’s too busy to date. A full schedule of demanding engineering classes keep her more overwhelmed than busy, and she dives into hobbies.
One hobby in particular.
She’s in her dorm room one night, drunk at the end of Freshman year, watching Galaxy Battles. Ben’s next to her, and despite the small size of her twin bed, they both fit. Maybe because he hugs her close. It’s the most physical intimacy she’s allowed another person, and maybe it’s the vodka.
Maybe it’s him.
Rey ends up blurting the words she’s told no one, mid-episode seven.
“I write Kiraylo fanfiction.”
She’s been shy about it, but over the year she’s been writing, she’s gained a little following. Her readers are loyal and too kind. She’s slowly become proud of it, and if she can tell anyone, she can tell Ben.
When she wakes up the next morning in his arms, Rey can’t remember what his reaction was, so she spends a moment admiring her still-sleeping best friend before she sighs, and nuzzles back into his hold in search of more sleep.
Once they’re both awake and laying on their sides next to each other, sharing her pillow, Ben smiles that smile she’s never seen him give anyone else, and he brushes a lock back behind her ear and asks the last question she expects.
“Need a beta?”
Three Years Later
"So, you know how I write fanfiction?"
His struggle to keep a grin off his face is clear as day. “Try again,” he shakes his head. “Saying it like that doesn’t embrace how epically nerdy it is. You’re doing us both a disservice. C’mon, own it. You write Galaxy Battles fanfiction.”
Rey rolls her eyes. “So anyway—”
Ben snorts. “No, no, I’m not done. You write Kylo-Kira Galaxy Battles fanfiction. I should know.” There’s a sweet, mischievous twinkle in his eyes when he asks, “I have beta’d all… three hundred thousand words? It’s been at least that many.”
“And I thank you with coffee, but don’t make me regret admitting it—I trust you, so—”
He interrupts her with a full, hearty laugh. “You didn’t admit it because you trust me! You admitted it because you were trashed and we were watching the movies and you had an idea for a new fic!”
This conversation is going about as well as she’s expected. Rey buries her head in her hands and groans.
“Okay, okay,” Ben sighs, taking pity on her, “What were you going to say? Is it what you’ve been stressing out about?”
It’s like he can read her mind.
She gnaws at the inside of her mouth, folding her legs up under herself as she sits on the couch next to him. The living room is empty, a rarity.
They moved into a large off-campus house with Poe, Finn, and Rose after a drunken night at the end of their Sophomore year, when Poe suggested it’d be fun to live together. Once sober, everyone still agreed, and they’d fallen into an easy rhythm of peaceful cohabitation.
It’s much better than dorm-living. Now Rey has her own room, and nobody asks questions when Ben crashes in it.
Tentatively, she explains, “Someone prompted me to write some stuff. It’s not the sort of thing I’ve written. I… don’t have the knowledge I need to write it.”
Ben frowns. It’s a predictable reaction from him. “Can you just not write it? You don’t have to fill every prompt someone sends.”
“I could,” she agrees. She’s considered that option, but… “I like the challenge. I’d like to give it a shot.”
“Oh, okay. Anything I can help with?”
Rey blinks at him, disbelieving that he’d offer, until she remembers she hasn’t told him what the prompt includes. Her cheeks heat.
“Sorry…” Ben tilts his head. His eyes are swirling with concern. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no, not at all, no, just—”
Rey stops and shuts her mouth. She’s babbling. A look down at her hands shows that she’s fiddling with the zipper of her sweater, and she tightens them into fists, determined to calm down. She swallows. “You wouldn’t be offering if you knew what the prompt was.”
That seems to make him more curious.
“Okay… now I’ve got to know. It’ll drive me nuts.”
She bites her lips closed. They had said they’d always be honest with each other.
“It’s smut,” she blurts, staring firmly at her knees. There isn’t a chance in hell she can say this while making eye contact. “A bunch of my readers want a sex scene and I’ve barely even dated anyone and I have literally no idea what to write, and I suppose I could—”
“Rey.”
“I could read a bunch and write it based on what others have written, but what if it sucks? What if it’s super obvious I’m a virgin, or what if—”
“Rey.”
“What if it’s ridiculous and like, not physically possible? And that feels like taking the cheap way out, and you know how I prefer to research whatever I write about but this isn’t the kind of research I planned to do for fanfiction, y’know? Lightsaber physics, sure, but sex? So you can see why—”
“Would you just—”
“You can see why it’s super awkward that you just offered to help, because that would be—”
Hands grab her shoulders, and her eyes lock onto his.
“Chill,” he murmurs. “Deep breaths.”
Rey closes her eyes, covering her face again, and does as told. “Sorry,” she sighs. “Sorry. Yeah, you’re right. This isn’t something I should be stressing out about. I should just say no. I haven't even done any of the stuff they're requesting, and my stories aren't the type to include smut, anyway."
He’s quiet for a moment, but she’s so focused on calming her pounding heart that she barely catches him saying, "Actually I was going to say I could help."
She’s… definitely just imagining he said that.
But then he says it again. Softer this time. “I can help.”
Rey peeks at him through her fingers, her jaw going slack when she sees the blush across his cheeks. She drops her hands, and says dumbly, “I’m sorry, what.”
"I mean… beta duties and all that." He swallows, casting his eyes to the side, and shrugs. “Purely for research purposes.”
"Oh," she echoes, a beat later. "Right. Research purposes. Uh, huh."