Work Text:
Lance can’t fucking sleep. It happens everyday, but Sundays are the worst. No matter what happens during the school year one thing is a constant, no sleep when you need it. (Un)fortunately for Lance, today happens to a Sunday! He looks over to his phone with 3:00 am blaring harshly at him. Scorching his retinas with the fiery passion of a hundred suns that will later be used for some fiery passion in bed. His annoyance with whatever the fuck his soulmate could possibly be doing at this time in this economy is increasing. We here broke ass bitches. Fuck bitches, get money!!!!!!!! Or the alternative is fuck money, get bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good thing he doesn’t know whom the fucketh his soulmate is or else that fucker is going to be yeeted out this planet so he can finally sleep before 2 am every night.
Meanwhile……
“Holy fuck, i need to write a 35 page essay due in three hours and I need an A in order to pass this class! Panikcc!” Keith screams as he chugs down his fourth Keeping up with the Kardashians™ sponsored Red Bull and Gatorade concoction that will surely kill him if he drinks one more.