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To Tobirama, an Uchiha was an Uchiha.
Certainly, some hurt worse—most notably Madara and Izuna—but still.
An Uchiha was an Uchiha was an Uchiha—all signature pale skin and dark eyes, though the fire they spewed from their mouths was nearly as much a genetic trait as their appearance.
Oddly, however, the Uchiha themselves didn’t seem to think the same way.
“So you see, Senju-san,” the head elder stressed the honorific, probably in some attempt at offending him through either overblown mock politeness or his refusal to refer to Tobirama as -sama as he should.
If he hadn’t already been irritated enough by the man, Tobirama might have been vaguely amused at the sheer novelty of such immature passive aggressiveness in someone over three times his age.
As it was, it settled sickly hot in his gut, adding to the knot of anger that had begun to form as soon as he walked into the meeting hall in the Uchiha district and they told him to leave his apprentice outside.
“Kagami is not a suitable student for one such as yourself,” the man continued, each word lowering him further in Tobirama’s esteem.
“However, if you truly wish to take on an Uchiha student I’m sure there’s a full-blooded family with a child that would be interested in learning from one in a position such as yours," he said, with carefully chosen words and quiet, tasteless venom.
He paused then and turned, looking down either side of the long table at the other six elders, thereby missing Tobirama’s glare.
From what Tobirama saw two of the three women and one of the men looked displeased about their leader’s decision, but in a silent, complacent way, all shuttered eyes and pinched lips.
He gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to growl at them the way he did his younger summons.
The elders wouldn’t speak against their leader and his position, he could see it all over them, within their slanted spines and lowered shoulders. They would gossip about their leader's choices later, criticizing and condemning him over teacups and dinner tables, but they wouldn't speak against him.
Not where it could hurt them.
Not where it mattered.
Tobirama managed to suppress his visible reaction down to frowning, though just barely. It wouldn’t do to assault the Uchiha’s council of elders, even if four of them were arrogant blood purist with no appreciation for the health benefits of not inbreeding, to say nothing of the others being useless puppets.
It was one thing for the weak to hold their tongues out of logic, or the sensible to hold back from petty squabbles. It was altogether different for the powerful not to speak up in the face of wrongs and injustices, especially when enforced upon children.
Apparently ignorant of the existence of morals the lead elder turned back to him, looking satisfied by silent agreement of his fellows.
“Our apologies for the inconvenience Senju-san," he said, looking down at the small stack of papers before him, presumably filled with the names of "proper" pure-blood families with children. "We can, however, offer to introduce you to possible apprentices later today-”
“That will not be necessary, I'm busy for the rest of the day.”
The man didn't quite blanch at Tobirama’s interruption but he did pause, looking slowly up from his papers as if he couldn't believe that Tobirama had turned down his oh so generous offer.
"Ah, I see," he said, very clearly not seeing at all. "What time would be acceptable for you then?" He asked, expression bland and calm aside from his eyes, which really shouldn't have been physically able to scowl the way they were.
"I'm afraid I won't be available any time soon," Tobirama said, staring back at the man as he stood from his own chair. He really didn't want to kill Uchihas anymore, but if this old bastard pushed him too far...
"Are you quite sure? We'd be more than willing to work with your schedule, we only want the best for our children after all." The old coot had the nerve to look disappointed then, like Tobirama was the one causing problems.
Tobirama felt his theoretical hackles raise.
He had to get out of here.
He might not necessarily regret the action of killing an Uchiha elder (possibly more than one, at this rate) but the repercussions of such an action were...unappealing.
They started with criminal charges and ended with one of Hashirama’s particularly disappointed frowns.
He shivered internally.
"Yes, I'm sure. I'll be busy for the foreseeable future. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend to." Tobirama ducked his head down in a curt nod and whirled around, striding across the room and out the door before the elder could muster up a response.
Which was well and truly for the better for all involved parties. It was too early to deal with that amount of bullshit.
Tobirama sighed once he was outside, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
However, bullshit or not, he would have to do something if he wanted Kagami to be his apprentice.
He stood there for a long moment, enormously done for the day even though he hadn’t had lunch yet. After no more than a minute or so there was something like a squeak in the distance, then the scrambling noise of small footsteps in the dirt approaching him.
“…sensei?”
He cracked an eye open and looked down at the ground, squinting a little in the noontime sun.
Coal black eyes blinked up at him, brimming with a mixture of eagerness and trepidation, the latter of which twisted his stomach.
Children as young as Kagami shouldn’t have to fear the rotten and shameful parts of the world.
“Sensei, what’d they saaay?” Kagami whined, impatient.
Tobirama looked down at him—his fluffy hair and childishly round face, the same spark in his eyes as when he’d begged to know about sensing and seals and and and.
He resisted the urge to sigh again and patted the kid on the shoulder before steering Kagami back onto the street with him, toward the center of town.
“They weren’t much help. We’ll have to go see your clan head.”
His encroaching headache, the kind that always built up whenever he had to have a serious discussion with Madara in the near future, faded a little when Kagami cried with excitement at his answer.
It was all bullshit but…worth it.
The Hokage’s office was an intricate latticework of privacy seals, the creation of which had been overseen by an Uzumaki seal master and her very enthusiastic brother-in-law. The original intention of these seals was to keep important information from reaching unintended ears.
One of the additional effects was that no one could hear Hashirama and Madara arguing, which was nearly as worthwhile as their primary purpose.
“—look stupid!”
“No, it would be a symbol of our village’s history!”
Madara snorted derisively, shaking his head. “And what history is that? We founded the village less than two years ago.”
Hashirama frowned where he stood behind his desk, gesturing out to the bustling streets and buildings visible from his window. “This is historical! It’s peace Madara, our peace.” He waved again to emphasize his point, yelping when his hand thonked into the glass.
Madara didn’t notice, too busy pacing across the floor and biting at his lip.
The worn rug beneath him—a visible portion of it more threadbare than the rest—betrayed that this was a regular occurrence.
“I didn’t want peace for statues,” he grumbled after a few moments of thought, turning his eyes back to where Hashirama was still cradling his hand to his chest, pouting a little.
He stared intently at Hashirama—not quite a glare as, for once, he wasn’t irritated. It was more of an…impassioned gaze. The effect of which, sadly, was lost on the Hokage, who didn’t look back up from his hand until two solid knocks sounded from the door and drew both their attention.
Hashirama’s eyes brightened, whatever minor pain he’d been fussing about immediately forgotten.
“Tobi is here!”
Madara rolled his eyes. “It could be anyone, it doesn’t have to be your brother—”
The door swung open, revealing a small child who looked curiously around the room.
Feeling smug, Madara gestured at the kid. “See, it wasn’t your brother! It’s…,” he trailed off then, looking back over from Hashirama to the door.
“Kagami?” He questioned, confused.
His little cousin smiled at him, leaning forward to bow. “Hokage-sama, Madara-sama,” he greeted, perfectly well-behaved and not at all like the squishy demon he used to be, sticky fingers tangled in Madara's hair.
At least he was polite, even if he wasn’t supposed to be in the Hokage’s office in the first place. Madara opened his mouth, intending to ask what the fuc-what was going on when a familiar pale hand ushered Kagami further into the room.
He cursed under his breath. The idiot had been right.
Hashirama, only momentarily thrown by the sight of a strange child in his office, beamed widely. “Tobi!”
The aforementioned man glared back at his brother. “One, stop calling me that. Two, I’m not here to talk to you right now,” he said, and Madara had just a second to bristle up in confusion before those red eyes turned on him.
He scowled, folding his arms in front of himself, admittedly feeling a little defensive.
“What?” Madara asked, suspicious. He hadn’t done anything worthy of Tobirama trying to give him a tongue lashing recently, never mind something that would require a small child from his clan as a witness.
He valiantly fought down some more pleasant thoughts about Tobirama’s tongue.
There was a child present. And Hashirama, which might be worse.
Tobirama just stared at him for a few seconds before his eyes darted down to Kagami and then back up to Madara. He sighed.
“I would like to request your permission as the Uchiha clan head to take Kagami as my apprentice.”
Madara blinked, too caught off guard at the request to taunt the other man with it.
“The elders usually handle formal apprenticeships…,” he said, trailing off as Tobirama shook his head, visibly frustrated.
“I would also,” he said, the words coming out more like a growl than anything else, “like to request that you appoint a new council of elders. Your current one saw fit to deny my request and instead offered to find me a ‘proper, full-blooded’ child to train instead.” He sneered as he spoke the words like he would've preferred they not touch his tongue.
Madara stared. He hadn’t expected that either.
He chanced a quick glance down at Kagami, half wanting to scold Tobirama for mentioning such prejudice in front of a child. Kagami himself looked defiant though, rather than insulted.
Apparently, he wasn’t quick enough because when he looked back up Tobirama raised an eyebrow at him, looking unimpressed. “I told Kagami this, of course. He deserves to know that he can’t always trust people merely because they’re supposed to be in charge of him.”
Kagami nodded eagerly at that, looking cheerful enough despite the unpleasant topic.
“Sometimes people won’t care about my best interests cause they don’t like who my dad was, or since my mom isn’t married.”
Madara heard Hashirama choke in the background and felt vaguely thankful that he wasn’t the only one experiencing …whatever this was.
“…ah,” he muttered after a moment. That was true, yes. Just perhaps more in-depth than he’d thought such a lesson might go.
There was another long moment of silence as Madara attempted to digest all the things he’d just been told. Tobirama didn't allow him to think for too long, however.
“Well,” he said, the word too demanding to be an actual question.
Madara looked at the man—red eyes still lit with the kindling of protective anger—then down to Kagami—so excited he seemed about to vibrate out of his skin.
Madara rubbed at his face, forcing himself not to groan aloud.
He hated fighting with the elders. Arguing was normally a good time for him (it was nice to let his temper off its leash without hard consequences) but it was beyond frustrating to listen to all the 'your father would have's and their endless extolling about the "good old days," content to ignore how lucky they had been to survive those very same days.
He would do it, of course. He couldn’t let them sabotage the clan because of their own screwed up viewpoints but it would create an exhausting shitfest he really wasn’t looking forward to dealing with. Tobirama was about to dump several weeks, if not months, of chaotic clan politics on him, and then not even say thank you.
And Madara would do it, it was his responsibility to oversee such changes as much as it was his privilege to control them, but it would be nice to get some appreciation for it.
He froze.
Wait.
“Alright,” he said, slowly, as if trying to settle an internal debate. Kagami jumped in place, looking ready to cheer. Even Tobirama looked pleased. “But,” Madara continued, making both of them stiffen. “I want to observe some of your training sessions since this will be the first time an Uchiha child is taught by someone outside the clan.”
Kagami didn’t seem bothered by that stipulation, laughing a little and grabbing onto Tobirama’s sleeve. Tobirama though…he watched Madara closely, like he knew he had some other motivation. Madara refused to let himself tense up in front of the man. That would definitely let Tobirama know something was up.
Thankfully, after a long moment, Tobirama nodded deeply, bending so far forward he almost dipped into a bow.
“Very well. I’ll speak with you later about our schedule,” he said, solemnly and with more respect than Madara had ever expected to receive from the man.
He nodded back and then watched, quiet, as Tobirama steered Kagami back out of the office, closing the door behind them.
Unable to stop himself, Madara grinned as soon as the latch clicked into place, turning to look over his shoulder at the Hokage.
Hashirama groaned at the look on his face, the greatly agonized sound of a man who didn't need to know when people were attracted to his sibling, thank you very much.
“Stop thinking about my little brother shirtless, Uchiha!”