Chapter Text
Dean felt like she had taken a piece of his heart with her and nothing he could do would stop this feeling of emptiness in the little corner of his chest. No matter how hard he was trying to drown himself in booze or hunting, it wouldn’t work.
He stopped drowing his sorrows in busty blondes, though. They were just not worth his time and even if he could score easy fucks, it just didn’t feel right anymore. There was always a pang of guilt eating away at the back of his mind when some girl chats him up and he rather not persue it, even if Y/N said that she wouldn’t mind because she knows how his ‘cock ticks’. Dean didn’t want to say anything but she doesn’t know even half of it. Also, Dean’s a wise man and even if she gave him a hall pass, she’d raise hell if he would, he was sure of that.
He’s drowing in his misery and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than washed up into the shores of her arms.
His nights were often filled with hunts and more often than not, he would catch himself calling her when she would be in lectures and the calls would always end up in her voicemail. Dean just couldn‘t bring himself up to talk to a machine, because all he wanted was to hear her voice and then, he would hang up, hoping that she‘ll pick up the next time or call him back.
He missed her and it pained him that he almost forgot the smell of her. The mixture of vanilla and coconut that used to invade his nostrils and lured him to sleep in such a calming way, all that was almost gone and he doesn’t want that.
Sometimes, he would catch himself thinking back and trying to squeeze out the little things from his memories. How she would cringe her nose when she picked up his socks from the floor. How her nostrils would flare up when she’s laughing. And he tried to remember her features. How soft her hands were against his warm skin, the velvety texture of her tongue when she slid his next to hers. He doesn’t want the memories of her going way but he knows that eventually, these things will fade and he’s not nearly ready for it.
He still remembered the day she left like it was yesterday. He remembered how Dad found him drunk and asleep on the floor of their room two days later; and that’s when his Dad knew that Dean needed something to keep him going, that he needed to have purpose again in life.
Dad picked him up, dusted him off and took him on a hunt and that’s what he did since. Every damn day, every freakin’ night. Sometimes they would split up and on those days, he felt the loneliest he’d ever been.
Dean freaking hated witches. And it didn’t matter if they were hot ones. He hated them all equally. The way they can stare into his soul and read his mind was just plain creepy. Dean shuddered when he thought back to the encounter with the witch a couple of hours earlier.
He had her against the wall, his blade to her throat and instead of being scared, she just stared at him and fucking laughed.
“Aww..Winchester. You’re bad news, you know that?” She said.
“You’re damn right I am.” He growled and he held her there, waiting for his Dad to finally catch up and tell him what to do.
He was not sure if killing her was on the menu, since his head was elsewhere lately. He had a hard time concentrating and listening to instructions. Maybe because he haven’t heard from her for three days and it drives him crazy not knowing how she was.
“No, I mean. You’re really bad news.” She said again and Dean dug the blade a bit deeper into her throat, not quite slicing her up just yet. He knows how far he can go, a trait he learned from Dad.
“If you think that you can mess up with my mind, you’re wrong.” He snarled and prayed for Dad to fucking come in here already.
“Dean, I see your future. Everyone you love.. they will end up dead. You can’t stop it. Of course you’ll try.. but you can’t.” Dean froze at her words and she just fucking laughed in his face.
“Dean!” John called out, and when Dean looked back to his Dad, the witch slipped out of his grip, disappearing through the window like a cat. Dean didn’t know how it could happen, but she’s a freaking witch, anything was possible.
“Doesn’t matter, I have her friend.” John said, dragging another witch into view.
Dean breathed out audibly. “I fucking hate witches, Dad.”
Sitting in the diner, Dean picked on his fries as he held his phone to his ear. He tried to reach her for the third time today but she didn’t pick up. Slowly, but surely, he began to panic. What if something happened? In his head, he already tried to calculate how fast he could be there if he would drive off right now and while his brain is still working, he felt his phone vibrate and a sense of calmness washed over him when he looked at the caller ID.
“Hey.” Dean picked up the phone somewhere between the first and second ring.
[Hey stranger.]
Dean closed his eyes when her voice touched his ears. He could hear that she was smiling. Oh god, how he wished that he could see that smile.
“How’s life?” He asked, even if he knows. She was probably busy, as always. No, Dean didn’t blame her but it does bother him, he’s not going to lie.
[Oh god, so busy, Dean. Everything’s new and I don’t know if I can do it.]
“You know you can.” He said, munching away at his burger.
[Are you eating? Is it a bad time? I mean, we could talk later]
“No worries. It’s never a bad time. Besides, I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk later.” He wanted her to stay on and he wanted her to tell him everything. Dean wanted to hear the normality of life. He looked over to the counter, saw his Dad chatting to the waitress before he walked through the door to the bathroom. Somehow he hoped that Dad would take a dump so he would have more time to talk to her.
[I just don’t want to take up your feeding time.]
She joked and Dean could hear a chuckle, which in turn makes him smirk.
“You’re never a bother, you know that, right?”
[I know... Dean?]
“Huh?”
[I miss you so much.]
Dean didn’t know if it was his stomach or the weird feeling of his heart shattering a little bit. He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut and he wished that he could be with her in this very moment.
“I miss you too.” He swallowed down the burger, or maybe it was an invisible lump in his throat, he didn’t really know anymore. “What are you doing now?”
[In bed, sulking. Today was pretty exhausting. I’m doubting myself. I’m doubting my decision and I kind of wanna give up.]
“You’re doing no such thing. I wished I could be there, to make it all better.” He took a deep breath. “But you can do it. I know that you can, baby. You’re so strong. Stronger than Sammy, and look how far he made it!” He chuckled and could hear her smiling with him. “So you’re in bed, huh?” He tried to change the subject to something more enjoyable for the both of them. Something more carefree.
And it worked, he could hear her laughing audibly now.
[Well, yes. In bed and all alone. My roommate’s on a date.]
“A date, huh? Did you have one already?” Dean didn't really know why he’d asked. His heart was beating fast when he waited for the answer and seconds felt like hours.
They never put a label on their thing and Dean didn’t want her to miss out on all the fun college stuff. He thought that he wouldn’t actually mind if she would start dating some freaking college jerk but yeah, he does.
[Shut up, Dean! As if I could date someone when I have you!]
Dean felt his heart taking a leap and a current of joy traveled through his whole body. Good girl.
“Not even one admirer?” Dean rolled his eyes at himself. Why is he doing this? Why can’t he let it go?
[Well, there was one guy who asked me out..]
Dean felt like he’s going to faint or maybe is has to throw up, he doesn’t know.
“And?” He hyperventilates before he could slip the question past his lips.
[What do you think, Dean? Of course I said no, but he keeps trying every now and again.]
“That’s it, I’m coming over! Should I come over?” He stood up from his chair, ready to go.
[Dean! No!]
She was giggling.
“I swear to god, I’ll rip his lungs out!” He took another gulp of his beer, washing down the bad feeling before he sat down again.
[I got this. Besides, I told him that I have a boyfriend who would rip his lungs out if he won‘t stop asking me out.]
“Damn right, I will.” He snarled and he would, without a doubt. He blushed and then he heard her laughing at him or with him. Dean didn’t mind either way.
[Anyway, Dean. Focus! I’m alone and I miss you.]
“Yeah, so?”
[Dean!]
“Oh.” He thought about it long and hard. “Ohhh!” He cleared his throat before he looked around the restaurant to see if someone was eavesdropping on their conversation.
[I miss you. So, so, much.]
She emphasized the words with little moans and Dean was tongue tied.
[I miss your mouth. I miss them on me, Dean. How they can lick and suck until I’m writhing underneath your touch. Oh, god, and I miss your cock, thrusting up into me and you always manage to hit the right spots too. Oh shit..]
She’s touching herself, there’s no doubt about it. He could hear her breath hitching in the back of her throat as the words came out breathlessly. He could feel his cock stirring in his pants, slowly getting bigger and straining against the brass of his jeans. And right about now, he wished that he was alone and not in some stupid diner, waiting on his Dad to come back from the restroom.
[Do you want to know where my fingers are, Dean?]
Fuck yes, he does but he shouldn’t.
[I have them in my pussy, Dean. Two slick fingers; but they barely fit because I haven’t had anything more than the two in months..]
“Jesus, sweetheart, you’re killing me here.” He breathed out, twisting in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position.
Dean looked up and he could see his dad walking towards the table.
[I just miss you so much. Can’t stop thinking about you. How you twirl your tongue around my bud as you thrust your fingers into my pussy. It’s so tight, Dean.]
He could hear her moans and there was a wet sound in the background. Could hear the palm of her hand hitting her wet clit when she moved her fingers in and out and then she winced as she came.
He was sure that she bites down on her lips, trying not to make any sounds and Dean almost came, here and now. He clenched his jaw, biting into his mouth, trying to keep a grip on reality.
“Fuck, babe. I wish I could be there. Nice job making me hard while I’m stuck on a hunt with Dad. Fucking great.” He rolled his eyes so hard, he was sure she could hear it over the phone.
[Aww, poor you but I love you.]
Dean could hear her smile, he was sure of that.
“Who are you talking to?” Dad asked before he sat down.
Dean mouthed that it’s Y/N and his Dad nodded at him.
“Y/N. Uh.. John says hi.”
[Say hi back. I’ll leave you to your tasks then.]
She laughed and hung up now and Dean anticipated to later, when the hunt is over and he could jerk off. He’s going to call her and maybe she‘d still be awake. He kinda hoped she would.
Weeks had passed and he was looking forward to seeing her. He’d go and pay her a surprise visit but first things first.
It was his first Ghoul killing in Greensboro, NC. He never thought that it could get so messy and his clothes were still bloody and he probably reeks but he didn’t mind because he needed to get to his destination as quick as possible. There was no time for stopping and nothing could keep him away.
“You’re coming for a celebratory beer?” Dad had asked him as he packed his things into the trunk.
“No, I need to go.” He replied dryly before getting into the Impala.
Dad just nodded because he knew. He knew what day it was and Dad also knew where Dean needed to be so he just stood back, understanding the urgency of his matter.
“Tell her, I said hi.” He called after him and Dean just struck out his arm through the window, waving John off before he drove away.
He would need three hours to get there, that’d still be in time before the clock strikes midnight. Still, he wanted to make sure and floored the Impala. Dean hoped that he could make it in two.