Chapter Text
I left Debra at the hospital in the end. The knowledge that Rudy was still out there, waiting for the moment to strike, was too much for me to let my sister come home with me. And I knew Brian would come back, because that’s what I would do, and he and I were the same in a lot of respects. I learned that last night.
The door to my apartment creaked open at the exact time the rest of the city went to sleep, and I knew my thoughts were real. Rudy did come back, either for me or for Debra. Debra was safe though, and Brian wouldn’t kill me. He had the chance to a few times last night, and he’d chosen, each time, to choke me into submission. I don’t think he has the ability to hurt me permanently, and that realization would have been sweet in any other situation.
I listened him walk around my apartment, could feel him like a needle across my skin, as he scoured the area for something out of place. He moved with familiarity I didn’t expect with someone who’s never been here before, and it’s with a mental step that I realized how familiar he is with my life. He’s been in my apartment many times now. He’ll know the boards that creak and that table that’s a bit too far out, and if I was asleep, I would've never known he was here.
He came up beside me after he searched the rest of the room, and I wanted to hold my breath. Instead, I let it out slowly and inhaled again. Exhale... Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... I played the slow metronome of sleep as my brother watched over me, and I found myself hoping he'd catch me awake. I wanted to know what he'd do if he knew I was awake. Would he kneel down and talk, would he tell me to hold on and go to Debra, or would he pretend he didn't notice I was up? How brother was he and how serial killer was he? It was a question I might never know the answer to.
Brian walked away after a minute of watching me. My next exhale was a bit more forced, and all I wanted was to reach out and hold him back. Don’t let him make the mistake. It wasn’t for me to decide, that wasn’t what the Code was. I don’t stop killers from committing the act, I stop them from killing again. I needed to resign myself to the fact that my brother was a murderer, and I had to put him down. I tightened my hand on the metal twine I held for this exact moment, and it felt like it was tight enough to make me bleed.
A chair squeaked with Rudy as he walked and I fought the want to open my eyes to see what he was doing. I’d left the door to Debra’s room closed, it was my final tell to know that Brian chose murder. I didn't know what he wanted with the chair, except maybe to jam it under the door so I couldn't get in while he killed my sister. The thought was smart, and it made me sad. I might have to wait for him to come out instead of sneaking up behind him, and then we’d have a fight. Would I win this fight? He’d been a lot better at combat than I expected.
I readied myself to stand for when the door opened, because waiting for him to come out was not preferable in this scenario. I listened as he paused at the door, and then he made a slight heave as he jammed the chair under the knob, effectively ruining the chair, and he had... He had locked fake Debra in.
Biney came back over at the leisurely pace of someone who had no end in sight and pushed the table away from the couch I laid on. I heard him shuffle before he went quiet, and then... the back of his head landed on my forearm and his hair tickled my skin. The movement was so startling I jumped, and I knew he felt it. I opened my eyes, and I looked over at him: Rudy, Brian, the Ice Truck Killer.
He played with a knife he brought with him, the same one he tried to get me to kill Debra with. His attention was on the corner of my apartment wall, a frown across his mouth and his eyes creased just the faintest, to show... something. He was thinking, waiting. I waited with him, because I didn’t know what he wanted. His plans with me failed, I didn't kill Debra for him. I didn't kill him either, but I hadn’t had time to decide before the police showed up.
I didn’t know what to do now. I'd been so sure he would kill Debra tonight, because it’s what I would have done the second I knew my brother didn’t choose me, it didn’t occur to me to think of what I’d do if he didn’t. I didn’t want to kill him, but I was going to if he attacked Debra, because Debra didn’t deserve to die. Now that Debra was possibly safe, I didn’t have to kill him, and I was lost.
What did he want with me? What did I want with Brian? Where did two serial killer brothers go from here? Rudy wouldn’t willingly use my code, he thought it made me an absurd avenger, he wasn’t happy at the idea of it; I wouldn’t kill without a lot of forethought and planning with what was ingrained into my brain by Harry. It was my protective blanket, my safety, and he didn’t have those. Still, he’d survived this long without giving away anything. It was only because he went directly for me that he was caught; otherwise, he could have just... lived on killing. Like me now.
Maybe... maybe we could find a middle ground? He came here for a reason, and it was clear that the reason was me. He was still in yesterday’s clothes, and he had some dirt in his hair from the tunnel he built in our home. He didn’t have anywhere to go, and I was willing to bet he was still in Miami because that’s where I still am. He was putting himself in danger to stay here, and he was here to stay with me.
“I want what’s left of my family back,” He murmured after a few minutes. He swallowed painfully before he continued, “If leaving Debra alive is how I stay alive and keep you, then I’ll let her live.”
The words hit me like a car and then sat on my chest like an elephant. My breathing stuttered, and if he didn't know I was awake before, he did now. My grip loosened on the twine, and I let it go. The resolve I’d had to kill him was gone with that. I couldn’t now if I had too. His words sank into me and I felt - and now I wanted my brother in any way I could get him.
“You’re wanted,” I whispered. He must know by now. His name, his real name, was on the news. They found our old home, they’ve likely searched every inch of it. Brian had nowhere to go.
“You decide what happens to me.” He said surely. He held the knife he was playing with more solidly, and placed it next to his head, by my arm. I stared at the knife and felt the symbolism he meant. He gave me his weapon, his control. I knew how much I loved control, and I bet he did too; he had a plan with me down to the T, and fought when it was lost. I grabbed the metal twine and placed it on top of the knife, a physical symbolism I still wasn’t quite sure how to speak aloud. I knew he understood.
“I don’t want you to die,” I answered, because I knew if he was caught, that would be what happened. “I want my brother back as well.”
There’s was something of a smile on his lips then, and he looked over at me. I knew this was the real him because his eyes burned something different from anyone else. They were sane, and they were empty of everything except a glimmer of what I could only assume was want. It was so noticeable a difference between his real self and fake self that I felt like anyone could see if they stared at him long enough. I'd met him when he was fake, and I saw how expressional he was then. Now he was... Comfortable.
He looked directly at me and I felt... My façade melt away. The depressions on my face ceased to exist, the lilt to my eyebrows dropped, I relaxed.
“We need a plan, since you thoroughly ruined mine.” He murmured quietly to the real me. My lips quirked up a bit, and he focused on that for a split moment.
“I have the next two days off. We can lock down the apartment and figure out what to do.” I answered just as quiet. Brian stared at me for a few more moments, and then he sighed and settled in.
“Against a couch isn’t the best place I’ve slept, but it’s also not the worst.” He muttered as he crossed his arms. He placed his head more solidly on my arm, and I realized with some belated amusement that he fully intended to sleep there.
“You can have the bed.” I mused. Brian’s lips tilted just a pinch, and he looked at me again.
“Despite how willing she was to marry me, I doubt Debra would appreciate me sleeping with her again.” He said airily. I smiled, real and genuine this time. It caught his eye, and I saw the flicker of furrowed brows.
“Deb is at the hospital tonight.” I snickered. Brian tilted his head, confused, and then he looked between me and the door. Then, at the knife and twine next to us.
The realization of how easily he could have died, how close to screwing up he'd been, settled in his mind. He saw now how willing I had been to protect Debra. He saw my plan; how I would have snuck up behind him after he realized Debra was fake and choked him into submission. How he would have been my next victim.
He didn’t say anything afterward, and I didn’t have to explain further what I would have done. The twine I had now meant something more to him. I wasn’t going to use it on him like I did all my other victims, I was going to use it the second he posed a real threat to Debra. Since he hadn’t, I didn’t need it.
“Thank you.” He said as he rose. He looked down at me on the couch and smiled. His smile warmed me up inside. He ruffled my hair, and then he went to go sleep. He moved the chair out of the way and back where he’d found it, put the chain in place on the front door so no one could surprise us, and disappeared into my room to sleep in my bed. I settled into my couch for the night and fell asleep feeling empty. Which was better than it was a few minutes ago.
I woke up in the morning to the smell of coffee gracing my senses. I opened my eyes slowly to see Brian holding a mug almost quite literally against my face. In his other hand was his mug of coffee that he sipped at. His hair was flat and wet, and the dirt that was on him last night was gone. He was in one of the shirts from the back of my closet, the one that was a little too tight for me, and a pair of my pajama pants, which were too short for him. Off in the distance, I heard my washing machine going, and I knew why he was dressed how he was.
I sat up, took the coffee with thanks, and took in the new day. I had my brother in my apartment, in my clothes that were a little small for him, giving me coffee just like he had at my father’s place. Our father's place.
The mug stopped partway to my mouth as that settled in. He was our father, and our father died with some sedative in his veins. The coroner thought it was weird, but ultimately put it to an overdose of insulin as a diabetic, which was also present in him. Rudy pushed the sedative off as something not important at the time, but Brian would know how sedatives and insulin injection worked. He was a doctor. And though I hadn’t known at the time, Brian was my brother, and that was the first time I ever met him. What did he do when we met? Hugged me, and exclaimed he’d waited a long time for this.
“Did you kill our father?” I asked. Brian hiccupped on his coffee and pulled it away to swallow his cough. He looked at me with appraising eyes, and then he nodded slowly, like he was sheepish.
“He was asleep... The insulin killed him, I just had the needle.” He explained shortly. I laughed, short and quick, and that was all Brian needed to know, to know I didn’t have hard feelings about it.
“Were you that desperate to meet me?” I asked. I took my first sip of the coffee and savored the flavor.
“Yes,” Biney answered softly, and I found I couldn’t fault him. I wasn’t up for meeting Debra’s boyfriends under normal circumstances because they were usually too manly macho and ended quickly. So with Rudy, it'd been the same thing. I didn't want to meet him, I expected it to be a quick fix and be gone. If he hadn’t shown up at my dad’s house, I can’t say I would have met him otherwise.
“Deb’s got a history of shitty boyfriends,” I answered, as if to explain it. “And an overprotective brother was never a role I played well.”
“She likely won’t be dating for a long time now,” Brian said coolly and drank from his mug. I sighed.
“Why Deb?” I asked. Brian looked at me with hazel eyes, so nearly my own, and he also sighed. He set his coffee down and placed his hand on top of mine. The warmth from the mug seeped from his hand.
“She's what’s holding you back. Tying you to your old life with the Morgan family.” He explained slowly, simplifying it. I felt like immediately denying it but I considered it instead. Debra was the last piece I had to Harry, our dad. Harry made me who I am today, with his teachings about the Code. If it wasn’t for Harry, who knows who I would have been, and if it wasn’t for Debra after Harry’s death, who knows what I could have become. I took Harry’s death hard; they were my first real steps into a world out to get me from the get-go without someone to guide me. I couldn’t be too certain about what I would've become without Debra. Less cautious no doubt, more dangerous maybe. More like Brian.
“I would leave it behind if it meant she could live normally,” I said quietly. Because I might need Debra, but she didn’t need me. She could survive on her own just as easily as she does now, and if leaving was what it took to protect her, then I would pack right now.
“What about Rita? Or your job?” Brian inquired. I wondered why those mattered to him. Maybe he thought I had more things tying me down than actually existed. Rita and the kids were nice, but if I left I’d only miss the companionship, and I could get that from my brother. My job was only there so I could have my fill of blood and get into criminal databases so I could research my victims. If I left with Brian, there would be no loss.
“They’re things that make me look normal,” I answered, and as soon as the words left my mouth, the ties they had to me disappeared. I could suddenly see myself leaving Rita and the job. They’d both move on. Rita was getting better on her own, her husband was gone, and she’d gotten over whatever problem she had with sex. My job could easily be given to someone else.
“Would it really be easy for you to leave it all?” He asked, to make sure I was sure. I shrugged and looked at him fully.
“I’d want to say goodbye to it all in my own way, but... I think I could leave. I want my brother, and besides the need to kill, I’ve never... felt. Things feel good and things are nice, but they never induced emotion. You do, and I want to hold on to that.” I answered. Brian smiled, real and genuine, and then he removed it. In its place was a flat face with a sharp eye. This was the side of Brian that was the Ice Truck Killer. I sat up and let my façade melt once more, just like I did briefly last night. The real me and the real Brian faced each other, and we waited.
“We need a plan then. I can’t stay here forever.” He murmured. I thought for a moment, and he let me decide. I wondered how much control he gave up to give me that.
“I think... to keep Debra and my police squad from trying to find me, you should kill me,” I said. Brian’s eyebrow twitched up.
“How?” He asked.
I thought about that for a moment. How do we set up the scene so everyone can see me die, without me dying? How do we set up a scene that gets Rudy Cooper to kill Dexter Morgan without the Miami police getting Brian Moser? The last thing I want now is for Brian to get taken into custody, not so close to having my family back. What was distant, but near, personal, but away?
“A boat,” I realized aloud, and then jumped on the idea. “My boat. You could kill me on my boat, away from everyone else. They’ll see it, but be too far to help.”
Brian’s face twitched up and down as he thought about it, and I waited for him to reply.
“Why are we on your boat?” He asked finally.
“I’ll let it slip to my coworkers that you called me brother, that night you tried to get me to kill Debra. I’ll hint that you thought actual blood brothers, because I’m adopted and you had a brother named Dexter. You’d wait for me on my boat, because I ride in it almost every time I have free time, and you’ll try to convince me one last time. Then I could fight you...” I trailed off as I thought more about it. It was a tentative plan, and I could already see some holes. If I was Brian’s brother and Brian thought that, he wouldn’t try to kill me when I said no, unless I posed too major a threat to him.
“We don’t need a reason for you to attack me; I’m wanted by your precinct, I attacked your sister, I’ve killed people. When I go on the boat to talk to you, you could just try to pin me until your friends get near enough to help.” Brian enthused.
“Which won’t happen because you’ll kill me to get free... It could work.” I finished. We’d need times and dates, and I need to set the seeds in my peers' minds’, but that shouldn’t be too hard. I still need to be asked questions by Maria, I can let it slip then, and then they’ll do a blood test... The question was did I wait until everyone knows we’re related, or did I get on that boat with only the idea we are related in mind?
That question was quickly answered when the face of Doakes entered my mind. I need to get on the boat before they know the truth. As soon as it’s known we're brothers, Doakes won’t let me out of his sight. I can fake anger for a murderer, but I wouldn’t even know how to begin to fake a person that would fight their sibling and get them in prison. At least before the rest of the world know we’re related I have some reason to fight him. After they know the truth, they’ll see me get on the boat knowing he’s my brother, if I was even allowed out of the police station at all. I would be considered related to the criminal, and thus a possible companion and not just a witness. It didn’t matter if we’d spent years apart, rules were rules to the people I work with.
“If you mention being brothers, they’ll want to run a DNA test,” Brian said quietly, breaking me out of my downward spiral of what to do. He was looking at our abandoned mugs, almost like he expected rejection. I placed my hand on top of his, reminiscent of the night we found each other.
“It’s my promise to you that I won’t return here. Doakes will have a shit fit when he finds out it’s true, and I won’t be allowed back in the building after that. It’s a thorough way to ruin my career without ruining my image. I’ll be the big brother Debra always looked up to, and the honest peer everyone has worked with for years. No one will question their relationship with me or my existence as a whole. And since I’m dead, we can just slip away.” I said. Brian’s jaw muscles tensed, and I knew he felt some anger toward that. The Absurd Avenger that’s a hero and a killer. He doesn’t like that.
“To be clear, I’m not actually killing you.” Brian jested, switching beats.
“No, you’re not. I wouldn’t do that to you.” I answered. He smiled once more, briefly, and then he was back to a neutral expression.
“Where would we go?” He asked. This answer seemed like it should be the easy part. There are millions of places to go outside of Florida.
“Cuba? The Americas outside of Florida? Where did you plan to take us before?” I asked.
“Texas,” He answered easily. “That was before I became a future cop killer though. I think we should avoid the Americas for a while after this. I’m on national wanted lists now. We could do... Germany?”
“Germany?” I laughed. Brian smiled, happy he could make me laugh.
“Great health care, great economy, a fair amount of criminal records, edges an ocean, which is your stich.” He listed off. I laughed again, and Brian relaxed into his seat.
“In a yacht?” I asked. He shook his head.
“On an airplane. From Cuba. They don’t ask too many questions to white people. We should be able to get in and out easily.” He explained with a wave from his hand.
“With what money?” I asked next, because that was a concern with travel. When I die, my accounts can't be used, and Brian's were no doubt frozen. I couldn't pull money ahead of time either, because then that raises suspicion when I do die.
“That part of my plan can stick. I have thousands of dollars in cash.” Brian said smugly. I snorted, because that made sense. He had everything else planned, why not pull aside cash so there was no paper trail.
“So... that’s the plan? Plant the seed of our relations, find you on my boat, kill me, sail to Cuba, and fly to Germany?” I asked. The idea of the plan being final made me... relaxed. I felt like I could breathe easier.
“Guess so,” He answered.
“Great, now the details. We can't be caught in the act.” I said. Brian perked up and leaned forward as if we were about to share a secret.