Chapter Text
I'm dying to catch my breath
Oh why don't I ever learn?
I've lost all my trust,
Though I've surely tried to turn it around
When she fished in her pocket for her keys, she suddenly heard someone behind her call out.
“Julie! Julie, hey!”
Dex’ voice came from 20 yards away, loud in the dark night. The owner of the voice was approaching rapidly, and she halted at her doorstep, keys in hand. They’d had a civil conversation in the coffee house, but she continued to be a little wary of him.
He noticed – of course – and stopped well before he got into her personal space. While she still did not know what to think of him, he at least made an effort to give her space, tried to make her feel safe with him. It was only half working.
Reflecting on it, she didn’t really know why she’d said she’d help him. Perhaps it was the desperation on his face that made her heart bleed. Perhaps it was his unwavering faith in her goodness, that made her want to live up to it. Perhaps she was reaching for a reason, when there wasn’t one. It was just the right thing to do.
“Hi, Dex. What… are you doing, here?”
“I had a meeting with my lawyer. The guys in the Bureau sprang for a lawyer to sue the FBI for wrongful termination. But she said it would take six months, and I just… I needed someone to talk to.” He sounded apologetic.
She sighed. This was not how she had planned to spend her evening, but it was cold and Dex looked rattled. She had promised to help him… “Why don’t you come in for a cup of tea, and we can talk about it inside?”
Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace
As she turned her key in the door, she was surprised to see the light already on in the hallway. Climbing the stairs, she looked closer and noticed there were two men with painter’s equipment and plastic on the floor. Weird, her landlord hadn’t said anything about it. Then again, he wasn’t that great about maintenance, so she supposed she should be glad that they were here at all.
She walked into her own hallway, Dex following behind. “Hey. Did the landlord let you in?”
It all happened so quickly she had no idea what was going on. She saw the stranger’s arm coming towards her head, and suddenly Dex stepped in front of her and shoved her back against the wall. She hit her head hard, and felt stars burst in front of her eyes. She slid to the floor and looked up dazedly.
From this angle, the gun in the painter’s hand was clearly visible. He was aiming for her, but before she could even process what the hell was going on, before she could duck or plead for her life, Dex shoved him hard against the far wall from her, the stranger’s hand bent back so the gun was no longer pointing at her, but at the second man.
The second painter now charged at Dex. She wanted to scream, but as she gathered air in her lungs, somehow, Dex kicked a bucket of paint into his stomach, and he went down gasping. At the same time, he managed to pull the trigger, and the second painter fell dead to the ground.
Now, Julie did really manage to scream.
Neither Dex nor the first painter paid her any attention however, as they continued to struggle. She saw Dex get hit a few times, though the gun clattered to the floor. Finally, Dex managed to give his opponent a shove and he fell down the stairs. With an audible crack, the man landed and made no further sound.
Dex was halfway turned back to her, when a man in a black trench coat came running over. Her first thought was ‘thank god, help has come’ but as he neared she could tell from the look on his face that he wasn’t here to help. Yet there was no need for her to shout or notify Dex in another way, because clearly he’d heard the footsteps or saw something from the corner of his eye. In one smooth movement, he bent down, grabbed a brush off the floor and threw it with enough force that it buried in the man’s jugular. Julie could only stare in horror as the man fell forwards, nearly on top of her.
Dex took a quick look around before kneeling down and trying to catch her eyes. “Are you okay?”
Julie however, could only look at the absolute carnage around her. Despite working at the suicide prevention line, she’d only ever seen one dead person – her grandfather, who passed away peacefully at the age of 83 – and now suddenly there were three dead people within ten feet of her. And not just dead – murdered. By Dex.
“Julie. Hey, Julie. Look at me.” She felt more than saw his hand patting her cheek, forcing her to move her head more towards him, and tear her eyes away from the gore in front of her.
She found her voice. “You… what… Dex, I don’t… Who…” Her eyes slipped shut as a wave of dizziness hit her.
“No, no, Julie, don’t close your eyes.” She felt his hand on the back of her head. She only now realised it hurt – before putting together that Dex had pushed her out of the way from the gunshot.
She wanted to thank him, but what came out of her mouth was: “You killed them… Oh god, you killed them!”
“I did.” He sounded calm as he brushed her cheek with his hand. “They were going to kill you.”
She felt sick to her stomach and her heart was going to beat out of her chest, even though she had only been sitting on the floor. She didn’t understand what was going on. Why on earth would anyone try to kill her? She was a waitress and a failed ballet dancer for crying out loud.
She also didn’t know how Dex could be so calm. He just had a fight to the death and won. Shouldn’t he be in shock? She certainly felt like she was going to be.
She went back to staring at the corpse of the man in the trench coat next to her. Blood was forming a puddle beneath his neck, and it was slowly making its way to her feet. She wanted to move, not to touch it, but somehow her legs weren’t working.
“Julie, it’s going to be alright. I will deal with this. You wait here for a second, and then I’ll get you out of here, okay?” Without waiting for a response – which was probably smart, Julie felt like she’d throw up if she opened her mouth – Dex stood up and walked downstairs. When he came back, he was hoisting the body of the man that had fallen down the stairs.
He dropped the man next to the other two and wrapped the plastic that was on the floor over them. She didn’t know what he was planning to do with them or anything. Shouldn’t they call the police?
Dex was kneeling next to her again and his voice was soft. “Julie, we’re going to have to leave. I will take us someplace safe, alright?”
Julie tried to nod and move her legs, but they still weren’t responding to her commands.
“Come on, up you go.” Dex pulled her up and wrapped her arm over her shoulder. Instinctively, her legs supported some of her weight. He held her tight as they walked downstairs and disappeared into the night.
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don't tear me down
You've opened the door now, don't let it close
They walked into a neat hallway, followed by an immaculately clean apartment. For a second Julie imagined it to be an FBI safe house, but the way Dex walked around showed he was familiar with the layout. This must be his home.
It looked… empty.
During their silent walk over she had time to process, to gather her thoughts. Her stomach had settled at the thought that there must have been a mistake. There was no way those three men were there to kill her. Perhaps they thought she was someone else. Or – and this was more likely – they were there for Dex, and she happened to get in the way. They should call the police, and get in touch with the FBI. They could protect Dex, and she could walk away from the whole situation.
“Here you go, on the couch. Now I don’t think you should sleep for a while, until we can be sure you don’t have a concussion, so I will make some coffee. And you’ll want to freshen up, maybe. I can get some toiletries, and clean clothes. And something to eat-“
“Dex, stop,” Julie forced her head to focus. “I don’t know what happened, but I think we should call the FBI. We need to call for help.”
“We can’t.” Dex sighed deeply, and moved to sit opposite her on the couch. “I am so sorry this happened to you, Julie, but there is no one in the FBI that can protect us from Fisk.”
“Fisk? The murderer you were protecting?” She didn’t understand – didn’t the FBI have him in custody?
“…Yes. I think he’s behind all this. He’s been trying to get me to work for him. I think… he might see that you’re the only person who’d keep me out of his grasp.”
“But how…”
“He’s working to get the FBI under his control. He finds people’s pressure points and keeps pressing until they cave. Threatens family, loved ones… I know several agents have already crossed over. I almost did. Until tonight.” Anger laced Dex’ voice and face.
Julie felt her throat get tighter, and had to focus to get enough air into her lungs. Blood rushed from her head as she stood up quickly – she was done with this entire shitstorm – she had to get to the door. “I don’t want anything to do with this.”
“It’s not safe for you out there.” Dex stood up, too, and blocked her way. “They know where you live, what you look like. They won’t stop until you’re dead.”
Her breath came faster and she felt the dizziness return. “I have to go, I have to get out-“
Through her spotted vision, she saw Dex stepping towards her. “Julie, you’re hyperventilating. You need air. Breathe.”
She tried make for the door- “I hav- I have to get out-“ But her legs would no longer support her and darkness crept up into her vision rapidly. The last thing she saw was the blurry figure of Dex stretching his arms to catch her.
I'm here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I'm only one step away
From turning it around
Julie woke up in a soft bed, daylight streaming through the windows. She felt warm and comfortable, and her headache seemed to have disappeared. She stretched and looked around. Her shoes were on the ground next to the bed, and her body warmer was on the chair next to the window. She was still wearing all her other clothes from last night. This wasn’t her house – where was she?
And then, the memories from last night came back to her. The painters with the guns. Dex, killing them. Their talk on the couch – how Fisk was behind it all and would continue to try and kill her. How could one man bring so much wretchedness into the world?
“You’re awake.” She startled at Dex’ voice, as the bedroom door was swung open. Dex was standing with a tray of breakfast foods, and made his way to the bed. “You’ve been in an out of it during the night. I thought you must be hungry.”
He placed the tray at the end of the bed, and took a seat on the edge. “Julie, I am sorry about last night. I couldn’t let you just head out into danger. But if you want to get away, I will help you. We can get you someplace safe, and you will never have to deal with this again.” With me, she could hear what he wasn’t saying.
Sitting up closer to him than she’d ever done before, she could see the rings under his eyes, the grey in the hair at his temples. He looked so… forlorn. Like he was about to give up, and willing to leave everything behind.
She might not be an FBI agent, or a powerful mob boss, but she knew how to help people that were only one step away from losing themselves.
She reached out and took his hand. “I am not going anywhere, Dex.”
Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
When you hold me in your embrace
After a nice breakfast – which was combined with a very uncomfortable medical examination of her head where Dex tried to give her as much space as possible while probing the back of her skull with his hands – and a shower, Julie felt much better. She was wearing some of Dex’ clothes. They were too large on her, but they were comfortable and according to Dex, made it harder to recognise her.
Not that they’d left the apartment, but she guessed thinking tactically was just too ingrained in Dex for him to not reason like that. She’d gotten him to lay down after they’d had breakfast, when he’d confessed to staying up all night, thinking of a plan. He had wanted to tell her about it, but she’d insisted he’d sleep first. He needed it, and it would give her a chance to get freshened up and time to think.
In the shower and sitting on the couch afterwards, she’d thought the whole situation over again. While it seemed crazy that someone was after her, it made sense that Fisk would want Dex on his side. She’d seen what he had been able to do against three men – and that had been when he’d been unarmed and distracted protecting her. It also made sense for Fisk to come after her to get to Dex. From the look she’d gotten around his apartment it was clear he didn’t have many personal attachments. The picture of the people from the suicide hotline was the only one with other people on it in his house. That combined with what he’d told her in the restaurant – ‘you’re very special to me’ – it seemed like Fisk had hit a mark.
Also, now that it had gone wrong – or just narrowly right for her – it might be true that she was all that stood in between Dex and Fisk’s corrupting influence. After all, Dex had said so – he needed her to help right himself. The question was: why?
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Dex walked out of the bedroom around noon. She was reading on the couch in an effort to pull her thoughts away from how her life had turned for the worse in the last 24 hours. She put the book away when Dex appeared.
“Hi Dex. Did you get some sleep?” The dark circles under his eyes were as profound as before, but he looked slightly more at ease than over breakfast.
“Yes. Thank you.”
They looked at each other uncomfortably. Now that push came to shove, Julie didn’t know how to approach her question of why she was so important to Dex. He seemed to know a great deal about her – a fact that made her skin crawl – but they’d hardly been friends, even when they did work together all those years ago.
Dex, meanwhile, also didn’t seem to know how to talk to her now that his secret was out. He’d been perfectly nice in the restaurant, but now she was wondering how much of that was a front and how much of it real. When he’d stopped her during her run and they went for coffee, conversation was stilted, but he’d had his goal to convince her to stay.
Now, they just didn’t know where to begin their conversation.
“Dex, we need to talk.” She sat down on the couch, and motioned for him to do the same. “I promised I would help you, but I need to understand. Why do you need… help?”
Dex looked uncomfortable. “I told you, you are good. I want to be more like you.”
“Yes, you said.” She thought for a second on how to approach this topic from another angle. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself?”
“What do you want to know?” He leaned forward, seemingly eager to talk.
“Why did you join the army? The FBI?” When he spoke about his jobs earlier, he’d said ‘they kept me on the straight and narrow.’ She wondered if he did not see that that was already performing acts of goodness.
“It was my therapist’s suggestion before she died. She said a disciplined vocation could help me deal. I couldn’t think of anything more disciplined than the army, and from there the FBI recruited me.” He leaned back into the couch – just as he’d done in the coffee shop when he’d talked about his job, she recalled. So that wasn’t the answer.
“What else did your therapist say?”
“She said my internal compass wasn’t broken. I just need a north star to guide me.”
“And that’s me?”
He smiled. “She said it could be any decent person. But yeah, it’s you.”
She was silent for a while, processing this information. Something he’d said… “Why did you think your moral compass was broken?”
This was the first time Dex appeared unwilling to talk to her. He had the exact same look on his face that he’d had in the restaurant, after he slipped up about her working at the hotline for three years. He shifted in his seat and fidgeted with his hands before answering in a monotone. “I grew up playing little league baseball. I was good at it. I focused my aim until I could hit the same spot on a brick wall repeatedly, carving a hole in the shape of the ball. When my coach benched me to allow my teammates field time, I rebounded the ball off a post and into the back of his head.”
Dread filled Julie’s entire body. She had asked, and she had promised to help Dex no matter what, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest. However, Dex took a deep breath and continued. “I was eleven when I killed him. And I wasn’t sorry. Dr. Mercer diagnosed me with ‘borderline personality disorder with possible psychopathic tendencies’.”
Julie didn’t speak – she didn’t know what to say. Dex took a long look at her and softly said: “I have tapes of the therapy sessions. I listen to them when I need to calm down or find a guide. But they’re not a substitute for the real thing.”
“For a real therapist?”
Another tender smile came to Dex’ face. “For a real north star.”
“Can I… would it be okay if I listen to some of them?” She was curious, but more than that, she wanted to understand more of the enigmatic man sitting opposite her. She couldn’t understand how he could be so calm after killing three people, but so nervous when asking her for coffee.
Again, there was no hesitation on Dex’ face when he replied “Yeah, yes, of course,” even though she’d asked for an incredibly personal disclosure, one that she was uncomfortable asking for. But she felt like she had to listen to at least some of them, to understand. She wasn’t a therapist – she didn’t know what ‘borderline personality disorder with possible psychopathic tendencies’ meant.
Dex got up and walked into the bedroom. She heard him open a closet door, and then a metallic door. He didn’t make a sound, but when he got back, his somewhat contented face had been replaced with one of anger. He was breathing hard.
“Dex, what is it? What's wrong?” No response came. She got up and stood in front of him; still nothing, though his breathing got faster, like he was working his way into a fit of rage. Only when she reached out and grabbed his underarms, did his eyes snap towards her.
“Breathe, in and out.” As she was saying the words, she exaggerated her inhaling and exhaling. Thankfully, she could see him following her motions, as he focused on her face. His hands gripped her underarms so tightly she was sure they would bruise tomorrow, but she didn't let go.
They stood there a few minutes, breathing slowly, until she felt he could stay calm on his own. “What's going on?”
His voice was laced with fury when he replied. “One of the tapes is missing. Someone broke into my house last night.”
Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Make my heart a better place
“Someone broke in to steal a tape?” She didn't ask if he lost it - he didn't seem the type of person to lose things. But that didn't mean she thought it likely that a burglar would go through all the trouble of breaking and entering, only to make off with a twenty year old tape.
“Not just someone. Fisk. Or the FBI. Or Daredevil.” She could practically see the gears in his head turning as he spoke. It took her a second to process what he was actually saying.
“Daredevil? As in the man who killed all those reporters a few nights ago?”
The uncomfortable look was back, one that she quickly came to associate with Dex not wanting to tell her something.
“Dex, I need you to be honest. I can't help you if you're not telling me what's going on.” She hesitated a second before promising, “I swear I won't judge. Just tell me.”
“He’s man who tried to stop me as I killed them.”
“Oh, god…” Only the iron grip of Dex on her arms held her tethered to the ground.
“Julie, please.” Dex looked desperate for her understanding. “Please understand, Fisk was manipulating me! He said he was the only one who could understand me! And I didn't know who I could turn to, who would understand. He said that I was just like him, that you’d never understand me, that he alone would never abandon me...”
Because she had been angry with him, then.
“Oh, god…” she repeated faintly. Only now did she fully realise what it meant to be Dex’ 'north star’. She could never not be available, because with his skillset and lack of moral gravity, there was no telling what he could do when listening to the wrong people.
“Are… are you angry?” Dex almost looked afraid of her. She knew immediately she had to do this right. If she messed this up, there was no going back.
A deep breath, and then: “No, Dex, I'm not mad at you. It’s good that you told me. I just need a minute to process.”
So Dex had committed mass murder. So she was helping him. He needed her help. He deserved her help. Right? Or did this make her – what was it called – an ‘accessory after the fact’, if she helped him now?
Also, even if Fisk couldn’t get to Dex anymore because she was there, who was to say he wouldn’t get some other poor soul to do his dirty work?
As she was thinking, she noticed that neither Dex nor she had let go of the other’s arms. Dex was looking at her with big, vulnerable eyes. Right then, she could see how Fisk had managed to manipulate him so easily. She was sure that, in this moment, he would do anything she asked of him. Just so he wouldn’t lose her, lose another person who he cared about. Who cared about him.
But the question was, what to do next? However, before she could worry about that – first things first.
“Dex, I really want you to hear me when I say this, okay?” She pulled him back to the couch, but never let go of his hands or broke eye contact. “Really understand. I will not abandon you. No matter what anyone else says, I promised to help you and I will. Even when things go wrong, or you slip up, I will be there.”
Relief flooded his features. However, she wasn’t done. “But, I want you to promise me something, too. You never abandon me. You come to me for help to make your internal compass work better, okay? Not Fisk, not anyone else who tries to get you to do things that are off centre. Alright?”
His voice was fierce when he answered. “I promise. You won’t regret it.” And with that, their fates were tied.
I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don't break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don't tear me down
They decided to move to another building that afternoon. Dex explained to her that now his apartment had been compromised twice – by the burglar, and by Fisk. “It’s not safe for you here anymore, Julie. We can figure out a plan when we’ve relocated.”
Dex had packed a bag of clothes, a blanket, all the cash he had in his safe and multiple guns and knives. She had refused to carry around a gun but to put his mind at ease she had slipped a small knife into the belt that held up his too-large pants around her waist. They’d moved to what Julie could only describe as a drug hole, somewhere in the poorer parts of Hell’s Kitchen near the docks. Dex had slipped the owner of the place a few fifty dollar bills, and he’d vacated a room for them at the back. Julie made sure not to touch anything.
They sat on the bed, discussing their strategy over the dinner Dex had picked up. “I think Daredevil is most likely to have been the burglar. It makes sense: he is after me for the Bulletin. Fisk didn’t know at the time of the burglary that I’d betray him. And besides, he didn’t need the tapes, he already knew me.”
“But how does Daredevil know who you are? You told me you were wearing his mask.” Julie countered, biting down on a falafel.
Dex appeared to mull this over as he chewed on his . “The FBI… If they watched the security tapes, they know I’ve been shutting them off to talk to Fisk. That would be enough for a smart agent to flag. It makes sense that if some agents are on Fisk’s payroll, others are on to it and trying to stop it.”
“Okay… But why would the FBI – or someone in the FBI – be working with Daredevil? Wouldn’t they just come after you alone?”
“Turning off the security tapes in itself isn’t enough to raise suspicion. There’s no way for the Bureau to know I was the one at the Bulletin. Only Daredevil could have found out. And Daredevil doesn’t know where I live – only the FBI knows that.” Dex sighed. “In their hatred against Fisk, it makes sense for them to team up. The enemy of my enemy, and all that.”
Dex was silent for a few more minutes. Julie focussed on her food – though she noticed Dex hadn’t been eating much.
When he spoke again, his voice was thoughtful. “So the real question is, who in the FBI is not on Fisk’s payroll, and wants to see him go down enough to work with the real Daredevil?”
“That could be lots of people, right?” She imagined the number of people that hated a murderer like Fisk must be high, especially in a law enforcement agency. She suddenly recalled what she’d said to Dex the night in the restaurant – ‘Do you think a killer like that deserves a second chance?’ – and here she was, protecting a killer herself. But Dex had also been right that evening – she did think that everyone deserved a second chance.
“Maybe, but with the criminals he’s bringing in, there are a lot of people who profit from it, so they’re out.”
“Maybe not,” Julie disagreed as she wiped her fingers on a napkin. “When I was working at the hotline, sometimes the people calling told me that they were looking for a way out because they’d had to do things that were wrong, and they felt so guilty they couldn’t live with it anymore. It could be that an agent was working for Fisk, but changed his mind.” Like Dex had. In a way, anyway.
“So then we’re back to the long list.” Dex smiled ironically, though she was glad he didn’t reject her theory outright. Julie didn’t know anyone in the FBI or anything about the circumstances surrounding Fisk, but it was nice of Dex to take her seriously in this instance, too. She didn’t know why that surprised her – after all, he was here because he had faith in her and her beliefs.
“Not necessarily. I think that for someone to see what’s going on, they must’ve been involved for a long time. Like you. It takes time for slowly turn wrong and then time to see it. You were involved from nearly the beginning, so it makes sense for Fisk to try and turn you. You’d been with him the longest.”
“Actually, I haven’t. That would be agent Nadeem. He’s… was my colleague and the head of the taskforce on Fisk.” Dex got up and paced the small room. “He’s got a lot riding on this deal with Fisk working out. It makes sense for him to be approached by Fisk. He’d know a lot about the detail, and has debts. But… he’s an upright guy.”
Julie put down all dinner stuffs and directed her gaze to Dex. “So, the question is, which is it.”
Dex looked conflicted. “I don’t know. I would have to gather more facts, look into the way Fisk works further, but I can’t get close anymore.” Whether that was because it was physically impossible to get into the hotel now, or because he didn’t trust himself close to Fisk, was unclear to her.
“Then it comes down to this, Dex. Do you trust him?”
His reply came fast. “I don’t know.”
“What does your heart tell you? You have a moral compass, Dex. What do you feel?” She was aware she was taking a risk here. If Dex trusted this agent Nadeem and the man wasn’t trustworthy, then it could shatter his faith in people. However, Dex needed to see that he could make – hopefully correct – decisions about right and wrong, that he could discern the good people from the bad.
“It’s hard. It’s really hard.” His voice was monotone again.
“Yes, it is,” she agreed. “But that doesn’t mean that you don’t know. I am only here to help, Dex – your internal compass is your own.”
Dex took a deep breath, and looked her in the eye. She’d give a lot to know what he was thinking at this exact moment.
His voice was calm and centred when he spoke at last. “He’s a good person. I trust him.”
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Julie was shivering as she entered the church. She really hoped Nadeem – and possibly Daredevil, if Nadeem had gotten a hold of him – wouldn’t keep her waiting long.
Last night after their talk, Dex had left for a few hours to gather some of her stuff – clothes, toiletries and her passport – and probably to get rid of the bodies that lay in her hallway. She tried really hard not to think about that.
He’d left a gun on the nightstand next to where she’d sat on the bed, ignoring her protests that no one knew they were here, that she had never even touched a gun let alone fired one. He just said he’d feel better if she had it, and she hadn’t had the heart to tell him it would probably do no good if someone came after her.
Luckily, nothing had happened and Dex had returned after a few boring hours. They’d traded sleep, keeping watch. He’d insisted he’d be awake as soon as anything happened. True enough, when she said his name to wake him up halfway through the night, he was on his feet in seconds. He had looked at her for a few seconds, before recognition drifted into his eyes.
Her lack of sleep could explain why now, even in her own thick winter coat, she was cold. To her surprise, it wasn’t Nadeem – of whom Dex had shown her a photo – or even Daredevil that approached her. It was a nun.
“You must be Julie,” came the soft greeting. The woman was short, and had a stern face with a contrasting friendly smile.
“I am. I’m sorry, who are you?”
“I’m sister Maggie. I have been asked to bring you to them. Not safe for you to meet here, so out in the open.” Sister Maggie looked around. “Isn’t your friend with you?”
Julie wasn’t surprised that they knew Dex was also here. She’d insisted she walk in first, to make sure a fight wouldn’t break out the instant Dex showed his face to Daredevil. Nadeem had suggested this spot to meet, so the chance was low that any of Fisk’s men were here. That was the only reason Dex seemed to have agreed with the plan. Also, he’d been adamant he take a position high up, where he promised to shoot anyone who came too close.
She decided to be honest. “He is. If you promise they won’t harm him, I’ll ask him to come over.”
Sister Maggie regarded her, pensive, too. After a minute, she nodded. “You have my word I will do everything in my power to get to a peaceful resolution.”
It would have to do. Julie turned and waved over to the organ, where Dex had told her he’d be. For obvious reasons, they’d decided not to use their cell phones. Sister Maggie looked at her with the hint of a smirk, but said nothing. A few minutes later, Dex had joined them.
In silence, they walked through the back of the church and downstairs. When they got there, Julie was surprised to see not two faces she recognized, but three. Next to Daredevil and agent Nadeem stood Karen Page, whom she’d seen in the newspaper accusing Fisk and defending Daredevil. Given her relation to the Bulletin, Julie guessed it made sense for Karen to be there.
“Hello, Dex.” Agent Nadeem’s voice was polite but detached.
“Hello, Ray.” Dex kept his eyes on Nadeem, but Julie was sure he was acutely aware of the others' presence. “This is Julie. Julie, this is agent Ray Nadeem.”
Julie sent a smile to Ray, but before she could say anything, Karen’s urgent tones sounded loud in the small space. “It’s him. He’s the one that attacked the Bulletin. I recognize his voice.”
As Dex’ attention moved to Karen, Julie noted Daredevil shift his weight slightly, so he was further in front of Karen. “I was. I am so, so sorry for that, Karen. I was… off centre, then. Fisk, he… He manipulated me. Julie… She’s been helping me move away from Fisk. I’m here because I want to help bring him down.”
“And how do we know you’re not still working for Fisk?” Daredevil’s voice was a baritone, much softer than Julie’d imagined.
“Because he did the one thing that ensured I would never be on his side.” Dex’ tone got softer and his focus shifted to her for a second before looking at Daredevil again. “I need your help to keep Julie safe.”
“He’s telling the truth.” Daredevil spoke, and the other two didn’t argue. “...Let’s make a plan.”
Don't tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
In the privacy of her own mind, Julie didn’t think this plan was perfect.
What they’d come up with in the basement of the church was that they would get a confession of Dex in front of a grand jury, stating that Fisk masterminded the whole thing. Dex, through lawyers Daredevil knew, had confessed to the murders at the Bulletin in exchange for a plea deal with the DA. He’d go to prison, but with his psychological state reported and the fact that he’d come forward voluntarily, Nelson and Murdock had gotten his sentence reduced to five years.
It had been hard sitting in the room listening to Dex describing the details of that night, knowing there was nothing she could do now, but only thinking ‘what if I’d been available’. Dex had taken a long look at her, before he had agreed to the deal. While she didn’t like the idea of him in prison, she had to admit: he did commit these murders. And it was the only way the DA would agree to prosecuting Fisk.
No, what Julie didn’t like was that there would be no other people allowed with Dex in the room with the jury. Not his lawyers, not her. She stood there waiting with them in the hallway, as Dex made his statement. It felt wrong.
She had faith in Dex, that he would see this through, but he had a tendency to stumble over his words or lock up when he was feeling overwhelmed, and she didn’t know if he’d remember to breathe, and-
“Don’t worry,” came Nadeem’s voice softly from her side. “He’ll do fine.”
“He is doing fine,” Matt Murdock agreed. “You’ve done really well for him, Julie.”
Don't tear it down, what's left of me
Make my heart a better place
Make my heart a better place
When Dex joined them in the hallway after a good hour, he looked tense but as his eyes found hers, his face relaxed. He came to stand by her side, their shoulders brushing. At the contact, tension seemed to leave him further.
“So what happens now?” Julie asked Foggy. They talked about the process for a while, when Matt suddenly interrupted.
“Oh, no no no.”
“Matt? What’s wrong?”
“The jurors. Fisk got to them.” A horrible feeling settled in her stomach. It felt like someone punched her – blindly, she reached out and found Dex’ hand and squeezed it tightly.
Matt turned back towards their group. “We need to leave here.”
They reconvened in a dive bar a few blocks from the court.
“What do we do?” Nadeem’s voice was tight.
Foggy replied, quickly. “We try again. The system will work. Tower will impanel another grand jury.”
“You still believe that?”
As the two lawyers argued, Julie turned to Dex. “You are quiet. What do you think, Dex?”
Dex regarded her silently for a minute. She could see him wondering how to best phrase his opinion. “I think I want to get even with Fisk, the only way he understands. We need to kill him.”
Julie felt the blood leave her face. “Dex…”
“He deserves it, Julie.” He took her hand again. “We need to put an end to him for all the damage he’s done – before it gets worse.”
She took a deep breath. “Dex. Do you remember what you promised me? You come to me for help, to be your north star. Me, and not Fisk. Killing people without trial is what Fisk does, not us.”
Dex looked at her intently, like she was the only thing that mattered. Suddenly, she was aware of the eyes of the other three men on them, regarding their exchange silently.
Dex took a deep breath. “So what do we do?”
She didn’t know, but Matt Murdock spoke up. “For now, you need to lie low. Leave town, until we can figure out what to do.”
She nodded. While she didn’t like it, there was nothing else to do anymore. “Where can we go?”
It was Dex who answered, his eyes never leaving hers. “North.”