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A gust of air from the overhead a.c. hits the back of Kaito's neck when he walks through the door and he shivers inside his suit. He knows he should've worn a scarf considering how cold the weather is, but he looked through Kudou's wardrobe for a good ten minutes before being forced to accept the fact that he doesn't own any scarves fancy enough to take to a Christmas gala, just a plethora of plain hoodies that Kaito swears he's never seen him wear before.
It's bright in here, the Christmas decor making everything sparkle even more than usual, and his nose itches from the make-up covering his face. He wants nothing more than to be at home nursing a mug of hot cocoa and watching Christmas movies with Holmes warming his feet. Holmes, Kudou's sweet sweet dog who's never done anything to Kaito like making him go to a Christmas gala full of law enforcement. Holmes is good people unlike his owner, Kaito thinks sourly. If he went home, Holmes would lick his face in greeting and curl up by his side on the couch and make happy little snorting noises whenever Kaito scrubbed a hand over his head. But instead, he's here in a stuffy suit and Holmes is all by himself, probably lying by the front door waiting for either him or Kudou to arrive.
He thinks back to the note Kudou left for him pinned to their shared fridge, listed in bullet points and written in his barely legible handwriting.
- going away on a holiday retreat with heiji
- have important work christmas charity gala that will last a week
- please take my place in it
- heiji said i should add that you owe me for last time
- call ran for details, my phone will be off
- thanks
Kaito likes Kudou, really, they've become close friends after rooming together for two years, not to mention the time they spent running around in circles playing cops and robbers when they were teenagers, but the fact remains that impersonating him for longer than a day is always something Kaito likes to avoid.
He wishes he could've just refused to go along with this, but Kudou was right, Kaito owes him for the time he dropped everything and drove him to his magic show when Kaito's car broke down on the way there. It's all his car's fault, really. This whole situation could've been avoided if it'd never broken down in the first place.
"Kudou-kun, I'm glad you were able to come," someone says from behind him.
Kaito turns around, holding his hands in tight fists inside his pockets to mask his surprise. "Oh, inspector Megure, it's nice to see you."
Megure nods, a pleased smile on his face. He's wearing his usual suit and trench coat, which is not surprising but always fills Kaito with the urge to ask him if he only has the one outfit, or if he has several pairs of the same one at home. "It's good that you're finally here, Ran-kun has been looking for you."
Some of the tightness drops from Kaito's shoulders at that, because Mouri is the only other person here who knows about Kudou's dumb idea, and he came planning to stick with her the whole night so no one tries to talk to him. He hasn't exactly shared this particular piece of information with her, but he's sure she won't mind.
"Where is she?"
Megure looks at the opposite side of the wide ball room and Kaito follows his gaze. He spots Mouri standing by one of the appetizers table, wearing a beautiful shoulderless dark green dress, and his plan immediately goes down the drain when he sees who she's chatting with. Wearing a long blue silk dress, with sleeves that fall off her shoulders in elegant swirls, Suzuki Sonoko almost looks like a princess, all elegance and beauty pressed into a rich package. Kaito doesn't hate her, not really, but he knows how she is when she's with Kudou - aggressive, snarky, mouthy - and the last thing he wants right now is to talk to her. This night is already going to be difficult enough as it is.
"I need to go to the toilet first," he tells Megure, and then fast walks out of the room.
The hall outside the large double doors is deserted, and the sound of his footsteps echoes all around him as he walks towards the toilets. It's dark, only a sliver of moonlight shining in through a crack on the windows and illuminating part of the floor, but it's enough for Kaito to notice the pair of legs stretched out on the ground right before he trips over them. He braces a hand on the wall, balancing himself, and swallows down a curse.
"Why are you sitting in the middle of the hallway in the dark?" he half shouts, staring down at the man on the floor.
"Kudou-kun?" the man says.
And oh, of course this guy knows Kudou, Kaito thinks. Everyone knows Kudou.
"Ah, yes, it's me." He adjusts his tie, clearing his throat awkwardly. He can barely make out the man's features in the dark, and his voice sounds familiar, a soft warm timber, sweet like honey, but he can't place it among any of Kudou's friends.
"I've had a persistent headache since I arrived and I couldn't stand to be around so many people. Everything was so loud," the man says, standing up. He's taller than Kaito, so much that he has to tilt his head up to look at him. "I'd really rather go home but my father drove me here and I doubt he'll want to leave so soon."
Kaito scratches his neck, feeling bad for him and thinking of how much worse this would've been if he'd been battling a raging headache on top of impersonating Kudou.
"I can drive you home, if you want," he says, impulsively, and then his brain kicks into overdrive and he realizes that this is it, his chance to leave this place. He already showed his face, even if only inspector Megure saw him, and that should be enough for the first day. He'll have to come back here for the rest of the week, and at least this way he has an excuse to leave early. The best escape plan.
The man stares at him for a moment, clearly surprised at the offer. "You'd do that? But you'll miss the gala..."
Kaito shrugs, pretending that isn't what he wants. "It's fine, we've got the whole week."
"Then thank you, Kudou-kun." He rests a hand on Kaito's shoulder. His fingers are long, spreading from the bottom of his collarbone to the side of his neck, and Kaito feels his heart skip a beat against his will. "I didn't know you could drive, though."
Kaito lets out a small snicker, taking a small step back and letting the man's hand fall away from his shoulder. "There's a lot about me you don't know," he says, which is mostly guess work because for all he knows this man could be Kudou's secret long lost brother.
"I guess you're right."
The hall leads out to the street behind the hotel, meaning they don't have to walk back through the ball room to leave through the front doors. The man pushes the door open for Kaito, endearingly polite, and when they both step outside under the street lights, the cold night air hitting their faces and making Kaito shiver, he realizes he's in trouble.
Next to him, Hakuba Saguru lifts both hands to his head, pressing two fingers against his temples. He's handsome and tall, and the last time Kaito saw him they were both 18, high on the rooftop of a hotel with the wind blowing on their faces. He still remembers the gut wrenching feeling in his chest when he told him it was his last day as KID, when he said goodbye and knew with a dreadful sureness that they would most likely never see each other again. Not as they did then, at least.
"This way," he says, trying to keep his voice from cracking from his surprise and the following onslaught of emotions.
Hakuba follows him. His hair is cut shorter than Kaito remembers and his shoulders are wider, his jaw sharper. He's grown into a man in the three years Kaito hasn't seen him, and it breaks his heart a little to feel like he's looking at a stranger and not someone he once thought he'd split the world in half for.
It's his own fault, he knows, because he could've tried something back then. He could've found a way to meet him as his civilian self. He could've been his acquaintance, if not his friend, but fear ate at him more than the thought of breaking the thin string that connected them, and he'd ended up not doing anything at all. Moving on, that was what he'd planned to do. And it'd worked - or so he thought. Clearly, he now realizes all he managed to do was bury his feelings deep deep down. And with a single wiff of Hakuba's perfume, a single glance at his deep brown eyes, it's like he's 18 again, wearing his heart on his sleeve and putting on a mask to protect it from the world.
He stops next to his car, unlocking it. "Here it is."
"Oh, fancy," Hakuba says, sliding a hand over its white coating. His eyes move from the front to the back of the car, an appreciative look on his face.
Kaito thinks, Oh, I've missed you, and says, "Get in." He settles into the driver's seat, shaking off the slight trembling of adrenaline in his hands. "Which way is your house?"
"You'll have to go the long way around the hotel," Hakuba tells him, sitting next to him and closing the door behind.
Kaito runs his tongue over his lower lip, stopping himself from stealing glances at him. It's almost impossible. "It's fine, I like driving."
The ride over to Hakuba's house is mostly silent, only broken by Hakuba giving him directions. Kaito wants to say something, anything, that could start a conversation, but he's not supposed to be himself right now and no matter how much he wants to talk to Hakuba, wants to jump into his lap and kiss him until they both run out of breath, he can't do much about it while he's pretending to be someone else. He feels the weight of the make-up on his face settle like a heavy rock on his shoulders, separating him from the real world, making everything he does unreal. There are no consequences when he's in disguise, and it's both terrible and exhilarating all at once, because nothing he does will mean anything in the end when he's back to his own life.
"This is it," Hakuba says, pointing to a mansion-like house off the side of the road.
"Woah," Kaito says, looking it up and down in awe. He knew Hakuba was a rich kid, but this surpasses even what he used to think his house looked like. "That's a big house."
Hakuba shrugs, opening his door to let himself out of the car. "It's my family's house, but they live overseas so I mostly stay here by myself."
"Oh, I see," Kaito says. He wants to pull him back into the car, grab his hand and sew it to his own so he never feels the kind of loss he did back then again - he hates his own thoughts, the desperation of it all. "Will you be at the gala tomorrow?" he asks, hoping against hope that the answer is yes.
"I will," Hakuba says, smiling softly. He's so pretty, Kaito thinks, with his long eyelashes and full red lips. How unfair. "Thank you for the ride, Kudou-kun."
Kaito waves it off with a lazy hand. "No problem. I'll see you tomorrow?"
"See you tomorrow."
-----====-----
Kaito didn't notice the previous day, too busy running off to the toilets, but the Christmas decorations placed acround the ballroom are gorgeous. Strings of colorful sparkly tinsel are hung all across the ceiling, along with large Christmas balls that reach halfway to the ground, hanging by almost invisible strings. He wonders for a moment what would happen if one of those strings broke and a giant Christmas ball came crashing down on top of one of the guests. That would certainly cause the night to end early, he thinks, and then shakes the thought off when he realizes how morbid it is.
"Kudou-kun."
He turns, startled, and sees Hakuba standing next to him, a candy cane in his hand.
"Where did you get that?" he asks, instead of following his first urge to pull him into a kiss.
"Oh," Hakuba looks down at it, "they were handing them out at the entrance."
He's wearing a thick light brown coat over his suit, and it reminds Kaito of the first time he saw him, with his little self assured smirk and confident glint in his eyes.
"How come they didn't give me any?"
"I wouldn't know. Maybe they didn't notice you walk in."
He scowls. "That's unfair."
Hakuba licks his lips, taking the tip of the cane into his mouth. He sucks on it for a moment, and then pulls it out with a small pop, leaving his lips shiny and sticky with sugar. "Want a taste?" he asks, offering Kaito the opposite end of the cane.
Kaito stares at him, his heart in his throat. "Uh," he says, swallowing. "Sure."
He takes the candy from him and gives it a small lick, letting the sweetness melt on his tongue. He gives it back right after, feeling his face heat up, and turns to face away from Hakuba.
"It's good," he says, and desperately wishes Aoko were here to keep him away from possibly self-distructive thoughts like 'oh, look, it's the mole on the left side corner of Hakuba's lower lip' and 'his eyes look really bright under this lighting' and 'is it just me or are his eyelashes even longer than I remember?' . For someone who spent so long learning how to be anyone but himself, he sure is bad at self-control when he's around him. He becomes flustered just from seeing a tip of a tongue or the bobbing of a throat. It's a weakness he didn't expect to show up again, especially in the worst possible occasion.
"Oh," Hakuba says, suddenly. He's staring somewhere behind Kaito, eyes wide and a pretty little half smile on his face. "It's snowing."
Kaito turns around and looks out the windows, seeing white little flakes falling from above. He likes snow well enough, when it doesn't block the roads and makes his life harder, but he definitely doesn't like it as much as Hakuba, who always used to look at it like he'd never seen it before in his life.
He's doing it again, now, a little shine of wonder in his eyes as he stares outside.
"Want to go out?" Kaito asks him. "There's a small patio in front of the hotel with enough cover that we can watch the snow without getting wet."
Hakuba looks at him, his smile blinding. "Yes, I'd love that."
Kaito's chest fills with warmth, and for a wild moment, he almost reaches over and slings his arms around him. He should add 'iron will' to his list of skills, because he's certainly using it a lot.
"Let's go."
When they step outside, he immediately pulls the lapels of his coat closer together, hunching his shoulders to put off the cold. Hakuba, on the other hand, seems completely unbothered by it, his hands in the pockets of his coat and his eyes on the sky. He has no scarf, unlike Kaito who went to buy one today before the gala, but besides his rosy cheeks and the way Kaito can see his breath ghosting in front of him, there's no indication that he could be feeling the same sudden drop of temperature from leaving the hotel as Kaito is.
Hakuba extends a hand in front of him, slowly descending the steps leading down to the street, and a snow flake lands on his bare fingers, melting almost instantly. He lets out a small huff, almost inaudible if Kaito weren't standing so close to him, and he'd mistake it for him being upset if he weren't already well versed in his expressions.
"You like winter, huh?" Kaito comments as they make their way across the street.
Hakuba scratches his nose sheepishly. "It's my favorite season. I like the festivities, mainly."
"And the snow," Kaito adds with a grin.
Hakuba looks at him, surprised. He lets out a small cough, looking away. "Yes, the snow. It's really pretty." He looks up, his face softening. "It didn't snow all that often where I used to live. And when it did, it never lasted very long."
"Huh," Kaito says. "Our snowy season is pretty long here. How are you not used to it yet?"
Hakuba shakes his head as they get under the cover of the patio, making small drops of water sprinkle all over Kaito's face from the melted snowflakes in his hair. "Oh, I'm used to it now, but it's always lovely to see, as someone who didn't grow up with it."
Kaito wipes his face, the wind making him shiver under his coat. "Well, it's good that you've managed to still find some good in it. I think most people in Japan hate snow."
Hakuba raises an eyebrow and looks at him. "Really?"
"It's not exactly the most ideal weather to get around."
"Ah, right." He shifts closer, probably unconsciously, and Kaito doesn't move away, basking in the warmth radiating from him. Maybe it's selfish of him to be enjoying this so much when Hakuba has no idea he used to be KID. It's like a double lie, because he's hiding behind Kudou's face and under it is Kuroba Kaito, who Hakuba wouldn't even recognize.
KID is gone, and yet, he is still the only thing tying them together. He used to think irony was funny, but now it's too awful to even laugh at.
-----====-----
Kaito spends a good portion of the afternoon the next day trying to buy the perfect suit. He knows it's pointless because he's pretending to be Kudou and it will only make Kudou look good, but he can't help the desire to prim himself up, like a vain peacock showing off its feathers. He tries not too think too hard about why he feels like doing that,
and instead spends the whole time he's suit shopping wondering what to do to busy himself tonight without having to talk to anyone.
It turns out to be a pointless worry, in the end, because two hours after he gets home, Mouri calls him to tell him about the charity event going on for the rest of the week: they will be auctioning off several things at the gala, three of them being special edition detective Samonji figurines, each auctioned in different days. The moment she says that name, Kaito knows what she'll say next. Of course that's the real reason Kudou wants him there. It never had anything to do with work or charity - the cunning bastard has roped Kaito into this for three detective Samonji figurines. He'd be surprised, except this is something he's come to expect from Kudou, the weirdo that he is.
He shakes his head, questioning his choice of friends, and focuses on finding a tie that matches the exact shade of his eyes in Kudou's tie drawers. He never bothers to wear contact lenses with this particular disguise because his eyes are the same shade as Kudou's except for the small little brown freckle Kaito has right next to his left eye's pupil, and he imagines only someone like Hattori, who probably spews poetry about Kudou's beautiful eyes in his sleep, would notice such a small difference, so at least he can spare himself the trouble of spending the night rubbing itchy irritated eyes.
After two minutes of fruitless search, he finds a blue silk tie right at the back of the drawer, smushed between a pair of underwear that shouldn't even be there and a black cashmere scarf that he's 100% sure doesn't even belong to Kudou.
"This will have to do," he says, pressing a hand over the tie to smooth out the wrinkles.
He applies less make-up today, sticking with his decision to steer clear of everyone until the auction happens and wanting to let his skin have some room to breathe. The suit he bought fits him almost perfectly, as if it was tailored just for him and not something he bought off the rack with its measurements already in place. For a moment, staring at his reflection in the mirror, he wishes he could go as himself - let his efforts bear fruit, get the attention he wants - but then he remembers it's a police gala he's going to, a place full of law enforcement (people he would rather not become acquainted with), and the thought quickly leaves his mind.
When he arrives at the hotel, eyes watering from the icy wind biting at his face, he realizes that his plan for staying on the sidelines until the auction starts is bound to fail. Hakuba, in all his gorgeous glory, is standing by the steps leading up to the entrance hall, talking animatedly on the phone. He's wearing a dark almost wine red suit, and it suits him in a way that it shouldn't, making him look almost otherworldly. His hair is swept back off of his forehead, unlike yesterday, and as Kaito draws closer to him, he notices a small mole on the edge of his hairline that was previously hidden from view. He realizes with a start that he's never seen it before - this is the first time he's ever seen Hakuba with his hair brushed back.
"You said you'd be here, but it's the third day and I've yet to see you," Hakuba is grumbling into the phone, a hand waving in the air for emphasis. "Stop laughing, this is *not* funny! You're a terrible friend, you know that?" He frowns in reponse to what the person on the other side of the line says next, a worried wrinkle settling in between his eyebrows. "Unlike you, I don't go around making friends with literally everyone I meet." He kicks a loose rock off the stairs, looking grumpy and put out.
Kaito watches him silently, knowing he hasn't been noticed yet and enjoying the show of emotions he's missed seeing on Hakuba's face. He looks like a petulant child, one that's just been ordered to do something they don't want to, his lips edging forward into a pout. It reminds Kaito of all the times he tricked him during a heist and he'd gotten all tongue tied in his anger, lips jutting out and brow furrowed.
"So you're really not coming? Not even tomorrow? Or the day after?" Hakuba asks, sounding resigned. "I hate you. You and your secret boyfriend, whoever he is. I hope you two have an awesome time while I rot." He stops for a moment, listening, and then lets out an affronted sound. "I'm not being dramatic!"
Kaito decides he's been eavesdropping long enough at that, and taps a finger to Hakuba's shoulder, drawing his attention away from his phonecall.
"Hi," he says, refraining from saying Hakuba's name once he realizes he doesn't know which honorifics Kudou uses with him. "Nice to see you again."
Hakuba looks suprised for a second, a strange look crossing his face, and then his lips stretch into a smile, his eyes softening around the edges. "Oh, hi, Kudou-kun," he says, quietly. The person on the other side of the call must say something, because his eyes suddenly narrow and he looks away from Kaito. "What are you laughing at?" Silence. "Yes, it's him, what about it?" Another lengthy pause, and then Hakuba's cheeks turn red. "What are you-? No, I would never- Shut up!" He ends the call abruptly, slipping his phone inside his pocket with a grunt. "Sorry about that," he says, looking back at Kaito.
Kaito waves it off, pretending curiosity isn't eating away at him. "It's fine." He points at the entrance door. "Want to head in?"
Hakuba nods.
They head for the refreshments table as soon as they step foot inside the room. Kaito grabs a cup of hot cocoa for himself, which he's been craving since monday, and Hakuba pours himself a generous glass of white wine.
"You look different today," Hakuba says after taking a sip of his drink."I can't really put my finger on it, though."
Kaito hides his face behind his cup, shrugging to appear nonchalant. "Maybe it's the different suit?" he says, despite knowing full well that it's the lack of extra make-up that's making Hakuba say that.
"Huh," Hakuba says, eyeing him up and down, sending flames of embarrassment licking at Kaito's insides. "Maybe." He takes another sip of his wine. "I like the tie. It matches your eyes."
Kaito lets out a small strangled laugh. "Thank you, that was the point."
He looks around them in search of familiar faces and easily spots Mouri Kogoro chatting happily with a group of men Kaito doesn't recognize. Not too far from him is Mouri, and today she's wearing a gorgeous light pink dress that flows down her back in waves.
Kaito thinks nothing could ever look bad on that girl, as impossible as it sounds. Aoko will surely be upset about missing the chance to see her in such a beautiful dress.
"Ran-san looks nice," Hakuba says, apparently having noticed Kaito staring.
"She always looks nice," Kaito says, taking a small sip of his drink.
"Didn't you two use to date?"
He almost chokes on his hot cocoa, sputtering for a moment before realizing Hakuba is talking about Kudou and Mouri, not *him* and Mouri.
"Ah, sorry," he says, taking the napkin Hakuba offers him. "Went down the wrong pipe."
"Was I too nosey?"
"No, no, it's fine. You just caught me off guard, that's all." He wipes his chin and sets his drink down on the table behind them. "To answer your question, no, Mou- I mean Ran- and I never dated. We liked each other for a while, back when we were younger, but nothing ever happened between us." Kaito only knows this because Mouri told him about it, after he wondered the same thing Hakuba just asked. Kudou, as secretive as he is, would never have actually told him anything personal like that, which Kaito can understand. As someone with one too many secrets himself, he knows how much like pulling teeth it feels to be real with someone else after hiding things for so long.
Even now, years after he's given up the KID mantle, he still wonders if he'll ever be able to strip himself bare like that, hand his thoughts and secrets to someone else without getting that terrible hollow feeling of dread that threatens to swallow him whole whenever he so much as thinks about it.
"And you don't have any lingering feelings?" Hakuba asks, eyeing him curiously.
Kaito shakes his head. "No," he says, thinking of the way Kudou and Hattori look at each other. They're so grossly in love it'd be a crime to think either of them had lingering feelings for anyone else.
"Ah," Hakuba says, apparently coming to his own conclusion from whatever expression Kaito was showing. He looks away, tracing a finger over the tree stitched pattern on the table's towel top. "Will you be participating in the auction?"
Kaito nods. "It's the only reason I'm here," he says, silently cursing Kudou for his lousy plans.
"You don't seem too happy about it, though."
"It's not exactly my dream come true."
Hakuba places his drink next to Kaito's on the table. "Then why are you taking part?"
"I need some things they're auctioning off."
"Oh?"
Kaito smiles. "You'll see."
They linger on the edges of the room for a while, chatting about nothing in particular, and Kaito, weak and probably an idiot, can't help but find everything Hakuba says and does charming. It's in the way he moves, the way he speaks, the way the corner of his mouth crooks up on the edge of a smile whenever he finds something funny. He must have been crazy to think these feelings had vanished, because they're hitting him full force now, and every move of Hakuba's hands or shift of his body sends a wave of warmth through Kaito's chest. He wonders if this is what it means to miss someone so much you forget about it. He'd been doing fine, he hadn't been thinking about him, but now that he's here standing next to him it feels like all he's done for the past three years is miss him desperately without even realizing.
"Oh, it's starting," Hakuba says, perking up. "Look, Kudou-kun."
Kaito turns and sees the people in the room collectively approaching the stage where just a moment ago a group of ballet dancers were performing. A man with a big mustache is helping a lady in a velvet red dress pull up a microphone stand onto the stage, and he watches as she almost trips over a wire before the man grabs her by the waist and steadies her. Once they finally get the stand in place, she climbs up to stand in front of it, running a hand down the front of her dress and shifting in place for a moment as she waits for everyone to gather around her.
Kaito lets out a small sigh, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. "Time to nerd out," he mutters under his breath.
Hakuba grabs a biscuit from the table behind them and stuffs it in his mouth, wiping his hands on his pants and nodding at Kaito with an earnest look on his face. He's clearly eager to find out what it is that Kaito's bidding on, and it's so endearing that Kaito wants to grab his cheeks and pull him forward into a kiss, a thought that makes his neck grow warm under his collar.
He turns away. "Let's go."
The auction starts off with a book of some sort by an author whose name Kaito doesn't recognize, and it goes on for at least fifteen minutes before they finally reach the first detective Samonji figurine. He feels Hakuba's eyes on him when he lifts his hand to call out a number, and his cheeks heat up in embarrassment at the thought of being judged over it.
"Detective Samonji? You watch the show?"
Kaito goes to say yes, of course he watches it, why else would he be trying to get the figurine, but what comes out instead is the truth. "No. I couldn't care less about it, but my friend really likes it and he wants me to get the figurines for him."
"All of them?" Hakuba asks, looking surprised. "You guys must be close, then."
"Yeah."
He gets the figurine.
It's all very quick, really, and not as troublesome as he thought it'd be. It's also good that not many other people were bidding against him for it, it means he didn't spend that much money on it, even if Kudou will have to pay him back later.
After they give him the box, he drags Hakuba along with him to an empty corner table, filled with half full plates of cookies and chocolate biscuits, and places it on it.
"That was faster than I imagined. Normally figurines like that sell a lot," Hakuba comments, grabbing a cookie from the table.
"I'm just glad it didn't take longer."
"Let's hope it's the same tomorrow, then."
Kaito laughs, running a hand through his hair. "Right, for a moment I almost forgot I have to get two more of these."
Hakuba pats him on the arm, his hand large and heavy. Kaito can't feel how warm it is through his jacket, but he knows it is because Hakuba's hands are always impossibly hotter than everyone else's, his entire body like a furnace. He noticed it on the third heist they met at, when Hakuba wrapped his fingers around his wrist to hold him back and sent heat spreading all around that single point of contact.
"Your friend is lucky to have you."
Kaito looks away, face burning. "Thanks," he says, voice cracking. The way Hakuba looks at him makes drops of sweat form on his back, and he suddenly feels suffocated under his clothes. He clears his throat and leans away from him under the pretense of grabbing a cookie, putting some distance between them in hopes of calming his racing heartbeat. "Will you stay long today?"
Hakuba looks down at his wristwatch. "I should be leaving soon, actually. Yesterday I was able to stay longer but tomorrow I have plans in the morning," he says, looking apologetic and regretful, as if it bothers him to have to leave Kaito's company so soon.
"I'll leave when you do, then. There's not much point in me sticking around now that I have this," Kaito tells him, tapping a finger to the plastic box on the table.
Hakuba smiles, small and soft. "Well, we still have two more days of this ahead of us."
Kaito bites his cheek to keep from smiling back. "They'll pass so quickly, with you here."
Hakuba stares at him for a long moment and then looks away, a dark flush covering his cheeks. Kaito thinks it's the prettiest thing he's ever seen, but it also immediately makes him want to take his words back. He hadn't meant to flirt, he'd just been stating the truth, but he realizes now that he should start being more careful with what he says, because Kudou is very much taken and definitely doesn't want him going around flirting with his friends while disguised as him.
"Thank you," Hakuba says, quietly, and Kaito's heart squeezes in his chest.
Damn.
--------===--------
Aoko shows up at his house with a bottle of wine and a box of cheese to snack on. Kaito hasn't seen her in almost a week and in just that time she's already different from when he last saw her. She's cut her hair short, reaching just under her jaw, and curling at the edges. It suits her almost too well, and he tells her so as soon as he opens the door. She blushes a little, pushing the bottle into his hands to distract him from how pleased she is at the compliment.
"I'm going to the gala tonight," she says once they're both inside and he's rummaging around his kitchen for a corkscrew.
"Oh? About time."
"You'll be dressed up as Kudou-kun, won't you? I still don't get why he couldn't have gone himself."
Kaito snorts. He can't tell her about Hattori, the only reason he even knows about their relationship is because he's Kudou's roommate and it was unavoidable that he'd find out sooner or later. Kudou hasn't told anyone about them except for Mouri, and Kaito's convinced that only happened because he started acting secretive around her and she threatened the truth out of him. He's admittedly unsure how both Kudou and Aoko have the guts to chase after such a scary girl, not that he doesn't understand the appeal.
"He's busy with something else," he says, finally unearthing a corkscrew from the back of a drawer. He grabs the wine and opens it in a practiced move, bringing out two glasses for them and filling them halfway through. "And I owed him a favor."
Aoko grabs her glass, taking a small sip before placing it back on the table. "What have you been doing there? You don't know anyone besides my dad and Ran-chan."
Kaito starts opening the box of cheese. "I've been...hanging out with Hakuba."
"Hakuba? As in the-guy-you-were-in-love-with-all-throughout-highschool Hakuba?" she asks, looking at him like he's just grown a second head.
He tries to focus on ripping the plastic from the box, his cheeks reddening under her searching gaze. "Yeah," he clears his throat, "that Hakuba."
"Kaito," she says disapprovingly.
He sighs, resting the box on the table. "I know what you're going to say."
"That that's a terrible idea and you should stay away from him?"
"Yeah..." He looks down at his hands. "It's easier said than done, though."
"He thinks you're Kudou-kun," she says. "You're only putting yourself in a position to get hurt again."
"But he's so-"
"-irresistible, I know, you've said that before." She grabs the box from his hands and easily rips off all the plastic. "Good thing I'll be there tonight."
"What, you'll protect my virtue?" he laughs.
She gives him an unimpressed look. "No, but I'll protect your feelings. Something you're clearly incapable of doing on your own."
-------====------
"You're not wearing as much make-up as I expected," Aoko says when Kaito finally finds her among all the guests.
"Well," he shrugs, not wanting to tell her that Hakuba would probably notice the change again if he applied more make-up then he did yesterday. "Have you seen him yet?"
"No, and I doubt I'd recognize him as easily as you do. I only ever saw him when I visited dad before a heist."
Kaito frowns. "He doesn't look so different that you wouldn't recognize him."
"Who knows." She shrugs, uninterested, and looks off towards the stage, where a magician is preforming. "Hah, it's you, Kaito."
"You can't just point at any random magician and say it's me," he grumbles, looking around for Hakuba. "Besides, I'm way better."
"Arrogant."
"I'm not! It's the truth. Also, you shouldn't say my name, what if somebody hears?"
Aoko raises an eyebrow at that. "I think people would just assume I don't know your name and you're too polite to correct me."
"Kudou would correct you the first chance he got, though."
"Well, yes, but I doubt everyone here knows him as well as you do."
"Point."
For a moment, a flash of blond hair in the crowd makes his heart skip a beat, before the man turns around and it turns out to be a stranger. It's a little pathetic, how eager he is to see Hakuba again even though they saw each other just yesterday. Somehow, it feels like these few days will be his only chance to see him again. He knows himself, and he's not sure he possesses the courage to show himself to him just yet, and maybe he never will. All those years ago, he was just a kid weighed down by too many secrets and responsibilities, and now he's half an adult with too much fear holding him back, chaining him to what's safe and familiar, lies and deception.
"He's probably not here yet. We're pretty early, you know," Aoko says, noticing his wandering eyes.
And she's right. Hakuba doesn't arrive until at least fifteen minutes later, and he finds them chatting by one of the appetizers' table. He's wearing a dark blue three piece suit today, and it fits him so well Kaito has to look away for a moment to compose himself. He should be better at dealing with this by now, but apparently his heart didn't get the memo and every single time it feels like it'll jump out of his chest and attach itself to Hakuba's rib cage.
"Oh, Aoko-san, hello," Hakuba says, once his eyes leave Kaito and he finally notices Aoko standing next to him. "I haven't seen you here these past few days."
Aoko smiles. "I only came today."
"Ah."
Hakuba looks awkward, like he's not sure what to say, and Kaito realizes how strange this must be for both of them. The only connection they have is KID, who is no longer in the picture, and unless Aoko has been hiding things from him, they haven't seen each other for almost as long as Kaito hasn't seen Hakuba.
The worst part of it all is that he's jealous of Aoko, of the fact that she can stand here, face to face with Hakuba, no masks, and be awkward about seeing him again. Kaito didn't get to have a normal reunion, he didn't get to say, 'hi, how have you been, I've missed you like you wouldn't imagine', he didn't get to hug him and breathe him in, he didn't get any of it. All of it ripped away from him the moment he met Hakuba during a heist, and not at the park, or at school, or at the zoo, in his normal skin, his normal clothes, his normal life. Sometimes he wonders what it would've been like, to have been a normal boy with a normal crush on another boy, and not a thief half in love with a detective chasing after him.
It's pointless for him to feel this way, too late to have such regrets, but he can't do much about these unwanted feelings besides push them as far down as he can.
"Kudou-san was just telling me about how you two have been keeping each other company the past two days," Aoko says. It's a lie, but Kaito can't for the life of him understand what she's trying to do by saying it.
"Yes, he's been great. These parties are always so tedious, and I don't know that many people here besides you two and Mouri-san," Hakuba says with a charming grin.
Kaito hides the smile that immediately grows in response behind his hand, but Aoko notices it and rolls her eyes at him. "Kudou-san is always very nice, isn't he?" she says, staring pointedly at him.
Kaito rolls his eyes.
Hakuba, oblivious to their silent argument, continues to shower him with compliments. Kaito isn't sure whether he's being honest or just talking to keep the conversation going, but it still brings a heavy blush to his cheeks and he tries to hide it by turning his back to them and filling a glass of water for himself. They talk for a moment longer as he tries his best not to listen, and when he turns back around Hakuba is asking Aoko about Mouri.
"Have you seen her yet?"
"No, Kudou-san found me almost as soon as I arrived."
"I didn't realize you two were such close friends," Hakuba says, looking at them curiously.
Kaito lets out a small laugh. If only he knew. "Aoko is friends with my roommate."
"Oh? I didn't know you were sharing a place."
"Yeah, my house was always empty what with my mom, uh," he clears his throat, "and dad always traveling so I decided to try something different."
"How long have you been rooming with Aoko-san's friend?" Hakuba asks, running a hand through his hair and sending Kaito's heart into overdrive once again.
"Two years." He thinks of the first time he met Kudou as his civilian self, how he'd wondered if lady luck had finally forsaken him. She hadn't, he realized soon enough, because Kudou had turned out to be the best roommate he could ask for. They're both unexpectedly similar and it works in their favor in many ways. "He's great," he adds, forgetting that he's not actually talking about Kudou but himself. "I mean, uh, he's tidy and stuff."
Hakuba smiles fondly at him, as if Kaito stumbling over his own words is cute in some way. It's probably wishful thinking, really, and his gaze must be more amused than anything else, but Kaito still hopes.
"I'm sure your roommate also thinks you're great," he tells him, and Kaito can't help the smile that stretches over his lips. He can't stop smiling tonight, it seems.
"Oh, look, it's Ran-chan!" Aoko says suddenly, turning to look at Kaito with a startled expression. "Quick, how do I look?"
He laughs. "You look fine, don't worry."
"But is my lipstick still on? What about my hair?" she insists, moving closer to him as if getting in his face will help him see her better and not just fill his nose with the smell of her perfume.
"Aoko, please," he pushes her away, rolling his eyes, "you're gorgeous, stop fussing."
She purses her lips, a light blush spreading over her cheeks, and steps away from him, patting her dress down. "Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't freak out over this right now." She discreetly looks at Hakuba, who's watching them curiously. "I'll just...go say hello. It'll only take a minute."
Kaito pats her on the arm. "Take all the time you need. I already told you I'm fine, I don't need your protection or whatever it is."
She narrows her eyes at him but doesn't reply, turning towards Hakuba. "I'm gonna go say hi to Ran-chan, I'll be right back."
And the next thing Kaito knows she's disappeared into the crowd, leaving him alone with Hakuba and the certainty that he won't see her again for the rest of the night.
"And then there were two," Hakuba says, looking at him. His eyes are shining, molten gold and warmed by the lights above, and Kaito can't help but stare, entranced. He sees the dance floor over Hakuba's shoulder, where couples are dancing to soft piano music, and makes a decision he'll surely regret later.
"Do you want to dance?"
Hakuba startles at the question, his eyes widening, eyelashes brushing against his cheeks as he blinks in surprise, and then his face drakens with a lovely red flush and he smiles softly. "Yes, I'd love to."
Kaito takes his hand in his, holding it gently, and guides them through the crowd towards the dance floor. It's not a big space, hardly takes up a fifth of the whole room, but it's large enough to fit the five couples already dancing, plus a few more. He hesitantly places both hands on Hakuba's hips, unsure which role he's supposed to assume, and Hakuba, unbothered, easily circles his arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. He wonders if he should suggest switching positions since he's the shorter one, but Hakuba looks satisfied with them as they are, his eyes closed and a pleased look on his face that Kaito has never seen him wear before.
He decides then - with the warmth of Hakuba's body seeping into his, the feeling of his arms around him, his hips beneath his hands - that he'll tell him who he really is tomorrow. Nothing in the world could make him give this up, not even his fear of unmasking himself to the one person he couldn't bear to be rejected by. This feeling right here, the glow in his chest, his racing heart bearing on his rib cage like a caged animal begging to be let loose, it's too breathtaking, too hot and exhilarating. He can't let it go. He won't let it go.
------====------
The sound of keys on the door make him jump out of the couch in surprise. He looks towards the entrance, his heart pounding away like a drill machine, and only relaxes when Holmes races towards the door, tail wagging in excitement.
The door swings open and Kudou lets out a laugh, petting Holmes on the head as the dog jumps onto his legs. He only notices Kaito standing there once Holmes is calm enough to sit on the floor, and he greets him with a sheepish grin.
"Oh, hi Kuroba."
Kaito raises an unimpressed eyebrow at that. "Hi."
Kudou drops his duffel bag by the door and steps further into the room, dropping his keys on the dining table. "I'm home earlier than expected. The motel we were staying at had a...flooding incident. Entirely accidental, and totally not Heiji's fault."
"And by that you mean Hattori caused a flood at the motel you guys were staying at so you were forced to come home early."
Kudou looks like he's trying to restrain himself but he doesn't last long and soon bursts into laughter. "Yes, it was ridiculous. The bath in our room didn't have enough pressure and I told him we should just call someone, but he decided to try and work it out on his own and the rest is...yeah."
Kaito laughs, stepping up to him. "You really pick them well, Kudou."
"It was pretty funny, though." Kudou opens his arms, fingers wiggling, and Kaito steps into his embrace, hugging him tight. "Miss me?"
Kaito snorts. "Would've missed you more if you hadn't made me attend a gala in your place."
They break apart and Kudou pats him on the shoulder, thumb running circles on the end of his collarbone. "Well, I'm back now, so you won't have to anymore."
Kaito's smile freezes in place. "Ah, right." He steps back, his feet knocking against the end of the couch, his hands spasming against his thighs. "You're going tonight?"
Kudou nods, his smile soft. "Yeah. Heiji will be there too, and we were thinking maybe we could use this chance to finally tell the rest of our friends about us."
"Oh, I see."
"I know it's annoying and you probably hated every second of it, but I'd really like it if you were there tonight," Kudou adds. "I got you a ticket."
Kaito stares at him, unmoving, and then lets his breath come out in a rush. "Yes," he says, his voice shaky. "Yes, I'll be there tonight. Thank you."
Kudou eyes him strangely, probably wondering why he looks so happy to be given a ticket to something he surely hadn't liked at all, but he doesn't ask any questions. That's what's so great about him, he knows when to pry, and when it's better to leave things alone.
"I'm going to need you to fill me in on what you did while you were there too."
Kaito nods, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. "Okay, sure, let's do that."
-----=====-------
Kaito has an endless supply of suits that he uses during his shows, but he still ends up borrowing one from Kudou. It's not that he doesn't like any of his, but suddenly, with the thought that he'll see Hakuba as himself today, they all seem plain and boring.
"You look fine," Kudou tells him, fixing his own tie in front of the mirror. "I don't get what you're so worried about. It's just a christmas gala. If anything, I should be the one that's nervous, considering I'm going to tell all my friends I've been secretly dating Heiji for two months."
"It's nothing," Kaito says, fixing his hair this way and the other.
"I know it's not nothing, but I can see you don't want to talk about it." Kudou puts on his suit jacket. "Will Aoko be there tonight?"
Kaito nods. "Yeah. Yesterday she went off to talk to Mouri-chan and I didn't see her again for the rest of the night. I had to call her to ask about it today."
Kudou snorts. "Those two are hopeless."
"Tell me about it."
They reach the hotel in record time. Kaito feels like he's seeing it all for the first time now that he's coming as himself. The lights seem brighter, the food seems tastier, the music louder. He knows it's just in his head, nothing has really changed since yesterday, but the feeling won't leave him in spite of that. Without Kudou's face to protect him, he has no defenses, it's just him and his heart hanging by a wire.
"I still can't understand why you would spend so much time with Hakuba," Kudou says as they make their way towards Mouri. "We're not even that close, he's Heiji's friend mostly. And I'd think you'd want to steer clear of him since he used to chase after KID too back then."
"He's Hattori's friend? I didn't know that."
"Yeah," Kudou waves at Mouri, who immediately brightens up when she sees them and waves back. "They didn't get along at all when we were younger but last year they worked on this long case together and now they're weirdly close."
Mouri rushes towards them, her long baby blue ball gown flowing behind her. "Shinichi, you're here!" She pulls him into her arms and he circles his around her waist. "You didn't tell me you'd come back earlier."
"Well," Kudou says, pulling away. "There was a flood at the motel so..."
"Oh no, I'm sorry you had to cut it short like that," Mouri says, looking genuinely distressed about it. "But I hope you had a good time while you were there."
"Yeah, it was great," Kudou says with a grin.
Mouri turns towards Kaito, raising an eyebrow. "And you, Kuroba-kun, I didn't see you at all these last few days. Aoko-chan told me you were here, and that was all that reassured me that you hadn't ditched the gala altogether."
Kudou pats Kaito on the back. "He spent the whole time hanging out with Hakuba, can you believe it?"
"Really?" she looks at Kaito. "Why?"
"He's...nice," Kaito says, feeling his face heat up.
"Oh," she says, giving him a knowing look. "I see."
Kudou looks between them, confused. "What? What do you see?"
She pats him on the cheek. "You're a detective, aren't you? Figure it out yourself." She winks at Kaito and grabs both their wrists, pulling them behind her. "Let's go, the others are over there."
She leads them through the crowd, and Kaito bumps into several people on the way, apologizing every time. When they finally reach their friends, he's been elbowed on the side enough times to leave a bruise.
"Kudou-kun! Kuroba-kun!" Toyama says, her grin splitting her face. "About time you guys arrived."
Hattori, who's standing next to her, sends a private smile Kudou's way and steps closer to them, running a hand down Kudou's arm and saying, "Hi," in a soft flirty voice that Kaito balks at.
"Hi yourself," Kudou says, smiling. They're so obvious about their relationship that Kaito's surprised only him and Mouri know about it.
"Did you see Aoko-chan?" Toyama asks Mouri in a low whisper, who shakes her head in reply.
"She's not here yet," Kaito tells them, moving away from the couple and leaving them to flirt on their own. "She said she'd be coming with her dad." He looks at Mouri's dress again, noticing the little sparkles spread all across her chest. "She'll love your dress."
Mouri blushes, looking down. "I hope so."
"Hey, look, it's Hakuba-kun," Toyama interrupts them, looking somewhere over Kaito's shoulder.
Kaito feels his chest tighten, his pulse quickening, his whole body getting hot. He place both hands inside his pockets to hide how nervous he is, and turns around. Hakuba is walking in their direction, his eyes on Kudou's back. Kaito thinks, 'Oh, right,' and looks away from him, hands clenching into fists. Of course Hakuba will head towards Kudou, he thinks he was with Kudou this whole time, why would he spare any attention to Kudou's roommate who he's never seen before.
"Hello, Kudou-kun," Hakuba says once he reaches them. He has a pretty smile on his face, and his hair is pushed back again today, showing off his hairline mole. He looks at Hattori and purses his lips. "Hattori-kun, so nice to see you could make it."
Hattori laughs. "Oh, come on, don't get sullen with me."
Hakuba rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm sure I have no clue what you're talking about."
Hattori pats him on the back, so hard that he takes a step forward to balance himself. "I'm here now! Besides, I hear you were in good company anyway."
Hakuba looks at Kudou, who smiles up at him a little awkwardly, and Kaito almost wants to laugh, except he can't help but feel jealous instead.
"Yes, Kudou-kun is lovely company," Hakuba says, and his voice sounds off, somehow, like he's confused about something, unsure. "Have you done something with your hair? You look different again, and this time I'm sure it's not the suit."
Kudou lets out a nervous little laugh. "Hmm, maybe it's just your imagination."
Kaito almost face palms at that. For someone who spent so long passing as a seven-year-old, Kudou sure is a terrible actor.
"He styled his hair differently today," Kaito says, urging Kudou to play along.
Hakuba turns to look at him, seeing him for the first time. "Oh, I see," he glances at Kudou for a moment. "That might be it." He looks back at Kaito. "And you are?"
"Oh, sorry," Kaito says, realizing his mistake. "I'm Kuroba Kaito, Kudou's roommate."
"Ah, the roommate," Hakuba says with a smile. "It's nice to finally meet you. Kudou-kun only had nice things to say about you."
Kudou lifts an eyebrow at that, amused, and Kaito internally whimpers in mortification.
"Anyway, now that introductions are over, we can get to the reason we gathered you guys like this," Hattori says, pulling Kudou to his side.
"You had a reason?" Toyama asks, raising an eyebrow. "You know normally people hang out in groups, right?"
Hattori lightly kicks her in the foot. "Hush, we have stuff to say."
"What about Aoko-chan?" Mouri asks, looking around with a worried look on her face. "She's not here yet."
Hattori frowns. "Oh, right."
Kaito is too distracted by how Hakuba won't stop staring at him to laugh at Hattori's mistake. His eyes burn holes on the side of his face, making him overheat under his clothes, too hot, too tight. He tries to distract himself by watching Hattori fumble to fill the time before Aoko arrives, but it's impossible to turn off his awareness of Hakuba - every single part of his body is attuned to him, to his voice, his smell, his touch and his presence. When he moves closer, Kaito feels it like little pinpricks of heat on his skin, goosebumps rise on his arms and his face flushes.
"Do you know what Hattori-kun wants to tell us?" Hakuba asks him.
Kaito nods, unable to speak a word all of a sudden. His nerves are on edge, his hands tingling.
"Kudou-kun told you?"
Kaito nods again.
He can see Hakuba opening his mouth to ask another question, but he's interrupted by Aoko's arrival, perfectly timed. She's wearing a tight red sleeveless dress, and it hugs her in all the right places. Kaito watches as Mouri takes her in, her eyes wide and her cheeks pink. Aoko reacts the same when her eyes finally find Mouri, a wide smile spreading over her face, along with a blush.
"Ran-chan, you look gorgeous!" she says, leaning in to give her a hug.
Mouri pulls her into her arms and squeezes her tight. "Thank you! And you look amazing."
They pull away from each other, staring in silence for a moment, and then Aoko seems to remember herself and turns to Toyama. "You too, Kazuha-chan! Your dress is so pretty!"
Kaito watches from the side as they compliment each other, grateful that his conversation with Hakuba was cut short. He'd planned to tell him the truth today, and he wants to so very much, but at this rate all he'll manage to do is get tongue tied around him and be remembered as Kudou's weird roommate forever.
"Now that we're all here, we can finally say it," Hattori says, interrupting the girls' talk.
Kudou looks at Kaito, who gives him a thumbs up in support.
"Heiji and I are dating."
Hattori laces their fingers together and lifts their hands, smiling happily. "Have been for two months!"
Hakuba freezes next to Kaito, staring at them both with a blank look on his face. Kaito lifts a hand to his shoulder, concerned, but stops himself a hair's breadth away, unsure if he's allowed to touch him so familiarly.
"Two months?" Toyama says, eyes wide. "Heiji, how did you even manage to hide it for two months?"
Mouri laughs. "Well, he's always been very obvious about his feelings, nothing much has changed."
Toyama thinks about that for a moment and then nods. "Yeah, you're right." She looks at Kudou. "I guess I was right from the start, huh."
Kudou lets out a startled laugh, which Hattori and Mouri join in soon after. Kaito doesn't get the joke, but he's less worried about that and more about Hakuba's persistent silence. Hattori seems to notice it too because he quickly sobers up and turns towards him. "See, here he is." He nudges Kudou.
Hakuba purses his lips. "I can see that." He looks at Kaito for a moment, gaze searching, and then turns away. "Congratulations. I need to go."
Kaito stares at him, heart in his throat. He can't leave yet, Kaito still has to tell him the truth, they still need to talk.
"So soon?" Kudou asks, frowning.
Hakuba clears his throat. "Yes, I'm afraid I have something I need to do."
Hattori makes a face. "Is it really that urgent?"
"Yes," Hakuba says, and nods at everyone, his gaze lingering a moment longer on Kaito, his eyes boring into his. "Goodnight."
They all watch him walk away, and then Hattori turns to Kaito, a worried look on his face. "You told him, right?"
"Told him what?"
"That you were the one acting as Shinichi these last few days," he says, as if it should be obvious.
Kaito shakes his head, confused. "No, I-I didn't get the chance."
Hattori rubs a hand over his eyes. "Damn." He looks at Kudou. "I told him I was away with my boyfriend, and now he knows that was you. He knows you couldn't have been here."
Kudou turns to Kaito, who stares at him with wide eyes. "What is he thinking now? He must have realized we lied to him."
Hattori sighs. "The real question is: who does he think was with him that whole time?"
Aoko places a hand on Kaito's chest and gives him a push. "Kaito, you have to go."
Kaito looks at her, panic making his mouth feel like cotton.
"I won't let you throw it away again," she says, 'your happiness' goes unspoken.
He looks at Mouri, who nods along. "Go," she says, and he does.
He moves between the crowd, not caring for how many people he bumps into. He's too short to see over the huddled mass of guests, but he knows where Hakuba is headed anyway. He opens the double doors to the hall and runs, the soles of his shoes loud, slapping against the floor with each footstep. He reaches the outer doors in just a few seconds and pushes them open, stepping out into the street.
"Kuroba-kun," he hears from his right, and his heart skips with joy and relief. Next to him, Hakuba steps away from the wall, putting his phone back in his pocket. "What are you doing here?"
Kaito takes in a deep breath, tired from the short sprint. "I came looking for you."
Hakuba stares at him, silent, and then says, "Why?"
"Because," he starts, and then hiccups. Hakuba looks almost as surprised as him at the noise, and his mouth twitches, an almost smile. "Because I need to tell you who I am."
"I know who you are."
"Wait, you do?" Kaito asks, eyes wide. His mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, and he clamps it shut when he realizes how stupid he must look.
"You were the one passing as Kudou-kun this whole time, weren't you? Are you an actor? Did he pay you?" Hakuba looks away, brow furrowed. "But no, you're his roommate." He taps two fingers to his neck. "You said you owed him a favor..."
"Wait," Kaito interrupts. "Yes, I owed him a favor. He was going on a getaway with Hattori to who knows where and he literally left me a note asking me to come in his place." He runs a hand through his hair, nervous. He can't look Hakuba in the eyes, can't even bring himself to look at his face. His heart is so close to beating out of his chest that he's sure he could feel its shape if he pressed a hand to his sternum. "How did you know it was me?"
Hakuba lets out a soft sound, almost a laugh, but muted. "I first noticed he looked different today, his face."
"Right, because I used less make-up on the last two days," Kaito says.
"But what made me realize it wasn't him were his eyes. You have this little mole, I noticed it the second time we met, but Kudou's eyes are clear like water."
"Oh."
Hakuba steps closer to him, and Kaito is forced to look up into his face. "And then I saw you today, and there it was, on the wrong pair of eyes."
"I didn't think anyone would notice it, that's why I didn't wear contacts," Kaito admits, face hot.
"Well, I noticed," Hakuba whispers, leaning closer.
Kaito wants to close his eyes, press his lips to Hakuba's and breathe him in - but he can't yet, there are still things left unsaid, so he takes a step back, feeling a painful tugging in his chest when Hakuba looks disappointed at the new distance between them.
"There's something else."
Hakuba runs a hand through his hair, groaning. "Nothing can ever be simple, can it?"
Kaito lets out a bitter laugh. "Not in my life, at least." He pulls on the tip of his tie, blood rushing to his ears. This is it, this is the moment that's been haunting him for years, the moment he's been waiting for and dreading so much. He takes a deep breath, and finally, finally, says it. "I'm KID."
Hakuba stares, and stares, and stares. He stares for so long, silent and blank faced, that Kaito starts to worry that he's passed out on his feet from shock - it wouldn't be his first time witnessing such a thing. When he finally speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper, and Kaito has to lean closer to make out what he says. "Of course." He takes a faltering step forward and looks down at his own hands. "Of course you're KID. Yes, that makes sense." It sounds like gibberish, but he looks like he's trying to fit the pieces of a puzzle together in his head so Kaito leaves him be, watching his face go through several emotions all at once. "You, where have you been?"
Kaito frowns, unsure of what he means.
"I waited, you know," Hakuba continues. "But you never showed up, and I thought maybe I'd made it all up in my head. Maybe you didn't-" he cuts himself off, looking down. "And now you're here, you've been here all week long and I didn't even know." He makes an aborted motion, his hand getting halfway up to Kaito's face before dropping to his side. "Tell me, were you laughing at me?"
Kaito shakes his head, frantic in his denial. "No, never!" He grabs Hakuba's hand, twining their fingers together. "You weren't wrong, it wasn't in your head. I wanted to see you again, I wanted to meet you so bad, but I didn't have the courage to do it. I was young and scared and I didn't trust that you'd feel the same." He presses his free hand to Hakuba's cheek, running his thumb under his eye. "Do you?" he asks, hesitant. "Feel the same?"
Hakuba looks at him, his eyes bright and soft. Kaito loves him so much, he wants to tattoo his name to the inside of his lungs so he never breathes anything but him for the rest of his life.
"I love you. Is that what you're asking?" Hakuba says, licking his lips. "I loved you then, and I love you now."
Kaito nods and pulls Hakuba closer by the chin. "Yes," he whispers into the space between their mouths, and kisses him. Soft and slow, the heat from Hakuba's lips spreads into him, leaving him lightheaded. Kaito wraps his arms around his middle and presses him closer, so close he can almost feel his heartbeat against his. "I love you too," he says between kisses. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
Hakuba's fingers tighten on the back of his jacket. "Why did you wait so long," he kisses him on the cheek, the chin, the tip of the nose, the end of his eyelid. "Why didn't you come meet me sooner?"
"I don't know," Kaito says, breathless. "I genuinely can't think of a single reason right now."
Hakuba lets out a chocked laugh and pulls him back into the kiss. They kiss for so long he's sure his lips will be swollen in the morning. Hakuba runs his hands up his sides, leaving hot trails of fire on his skin, and Kaito does his best to keep up, pushing his hands under his dress shirt, feeling his warm skin under his fingertips, his back, his chest, his soft belly.
"You're so pretty," he whispers, taking Hakuba's face in his hands, eyes running over his bitten red lips, his long pale lashes, his messy blond hair. "How are you real."
Hakuba's cheeks are already red, but impossibly, they turn even darker. "You're the pretty one."
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."
Hakuba brushes his lips against his. "It's okay." He presses their foreheads together. "I'm glad you owed Kudou-kun a favor."
Kaito laughs. "Thank my useless car for that." Hakuba raises an eyebrow at that, and Kaito leans back in, whispering, "A story for another time," and plants a kiss on his lips.
-------======-------
Extra:
"So when you teased me about Kudou-kun you were actually aware that he was Kuroba-kun and that Kuroba-kun was KID?"
Hattori winces. "I didn't expect it to turn into such a mess. I thought he'd tell you the truth eventually."
Kaito grabs a fry from the table and leans back against Hakuba. "Why would you even do that?"
Hattori exchanges a look with Kudou, who just lifts an eyebrow. "Well, I knew Hakuba had a...thing for KID. I didn't realize it was so complicated back then. I thought it was just a weird crush, like when Shinichi chased after KID because he liked his butt."
Kaito chokes on his fry and Kudou punches Hattori on the shoulder.
"You liked my butt?"
"Why would you say that?!" Kudou yells at Hattori, his face red.
"What?" Hattori asks, rubbing his shoulder. "It was a secret? You were very obvious about it back then!"
"Clearly Kuroba didn't know!"
"How was I supposed to know he's as dense as you are!"
"You have no room to talk, Hattori-kun," Hakuba says, gesturing for Kaito to get him a fry. Kaito gets up from his lap and grabs the whole basket. "They're not eating so it's fine," he says, eyeing Hattori and Kudou, who have dived into an argument about which between the two of them is the most oblivious.
Hakuba pulls him back into his lap and takes a fry from the basket. "I wonder how they got together?"
Kaito laughs. "Probably on accident."
Hakuba thinks on it for a moment and then nods. "Yes, you're right. There's no way they figured it out on their own."
They watch as Kudou suddenly pulls Hattori into a kiss, and the next thing Kaito knows they're laughing against each other's lips, legs tangled on the love seat they're sharing and foreheads pressed together.
"Hopeless," Hakuba says, watching the scene before them.
Kaito grabs another fry from the basket and feeds it to him. "Worse than us?"
Hakuba hums, chewing on the fry before swallowing it and licking the salt off his lips. "Definitely worse than us."
End.