Chapter Text
Lena’s leg bounced nervously as she sat on the hard excuse for a seat the airport waiting terminal had to offer. In her line of sight, the slow crawl of people entering through the security doors and onto customs moved slightly. Mothers hugged their daughters' goodbye and businessmen in expensive suits strolled through with all the ease that comes from repeated air travel. Once upon a time, Lena never would have imagined herself here, clutching an economy ticket to London while all her hopes and fears rattled around in her chest.
Her eyes drifted towards her blonde girlfriend, standing by the book rack in the duty-free shop before the customs gate, studiously trying to decide between two, probably overpriced, books in her hands.
It made the brunette feel a pang of sadness, knowing that Kara was no doubt obsessing over the choice for the very same reason that Lena couldn’t take her eyes off the blonde’s back. They were terrified that in five minutes Lena would be boarding a plane for London, making this probably the last time they would see each other for a year, neither having enough money to even afford a to visit the other.
Time was, not so long ago, that Lena would have had the palm of the world in her hand and would have been able to afford to fly Kara out to see her every weekend if she chose to. Her families money ranking them as billionaires, she wouldn’t have needed to take this internship at Wayne Enterprises London office, but times change.
More specifically, Lena had been thoroughly disinherited and didn’t have a penny to her name. It didn’t matter anyway, considering the family name was in the toilet. Her once inflapable and stoic brother having gotten caught embezzling millions from their companies pension fund. The Luthor name meant little these days unless it was for shouting insults. But Lena had taken it one step further into her own personal hell, by daring to testify against Lex.
Lillian would never forgive her for that and had promptly thrown her out on her ass, leaving her with only the clothes on her back. The only thing she had left in her life was her drive, her goals and Kara. Her incredible girlfriend that she had fallen head over heels for the second they had first met in college. The girl who she could see spending the rest of her life with.
The same girl that deserved the best kind of life, the one Lena was going to give them both. Because even though she was knocked down in the mud, the brunette had never been more driven to take back and earn all the power she once had an taken for granted.
This time, on her own terms.
She could do that, no matter what. For her, and for Kara.
Her thoughts fizzled out when she saw her aforementioned girlfriend walking back towards her, clutching her chosen book. Lena mind stuttered for a moment, taking in the sight of the blonde in all her glory. Looking, as ever, like she had just rolled out of bed and thrown on whatever she could find on the floor. It was one of the things Lena had first falling in love with, Kara’s carefree and optimistic attitude which was at such stark contrast with Lena’s jaded one.
And her smile.
Her laugh...
And for some insane reason that made no sense at all, Kara loved her back.
“I got you a few necessities,” the blonde said, a vague wobble in her voice even as she tried to give the brunette a brave smile.
Kara held out the book she had bought, Lena taking it gently and trying not to smile when she read the title.
“1984,” she chuckled, running her fingers over the paperback cover. “I thought you told me the fact that I liked this book was going to be the biggest hurdle in our relationship. At least it was until you barfed that yogurt down the inside of my car second quarter.”
The blonde winced at the memory, taking the seat beside Lena.
“Please don’t bring that up,” she murmured out, rubbing her chest. “I can still feel the burn….”
A sad silence descended and Kara bit her lip before reaching out the covering Lena’s fingers, which were still tracing the raised words of the title.
“Besides, if you want to love some weird dystopian 'everything is going to hell' book, who am I to stop you? At the very least this way…. I’ll be a part of the memory… and your copy was a mess.”
Lena watched the crinkle formed from worry, appear between Kara’s eyes and was unable to take her eyes off it. Thoughts fading to blank white as she tried to string together some semblance of brain activity. Kara swallowed, before reaching into her lumpy and ratty tote bag that she carted everywhere, pulling out her busted up but a well-loved walkman, handing it to Lena to take.
The brunette held her hands up, eyes wide with shock.
“No way, Kara. I can’t accept this… this was the last present your parents gave you before they passed away!” Lena exclaimed.
Kara stoked a finger over it fondly, before pushing it on Lena once more.
“It’s ok, I want you to have it,” she whispered out, eyes shimmering slightly. “And I put a CD in it too… Each one of these songs will remind you of me in a slightly different way…”
Lena choked up at the genuine kindness and love that seemed to roll off Kara and wondered not for the millionth time how it was she got so lucky.
She swallowed the lump in her throat and took the walkman gingerly.
“All in one CD?” She asked with an attempt at cheer, through watery eyes.
Kara nodded, her own eyes mirroring Lena’s.
“I also put my top five N*Sync songs on there….”
She trailed off, before looking sharply at Lena and leaning over to kiss her passionately. It took the brunette by surprise, but she was drawn into it like a starving man to food, only realised she actually needed to breathe once Kara broke it off. The blonde kept their foreheads pressed together, one of her hands curling up next to Lena’s cheek, tracing her ear and tucking her hair gently behind it.
“That was not officially the goodbye kiss. It was just an interim kiss…” Kara husked out, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than anything that Lena leaving wasn’t about to happen.
Lena blinked at her, a hairsbreadth apart, before she pulled Kara close once more and kissed her again.
This time, it was broken by an airport announcement saying that some random flight had been delayed. Lena looked over once the words penetrated her foggy brain, noting the departure screen and the time, realising she didn’t have any left if she wanted to make it through customs and onto her flight.
Lena swallowed, hard.
Kara sighed before they both stood to their feet. Lena shouldered her bag, carefully unzipping and placing the walkman and book inside, before taking her girlfriend’s hand and taking slow steps towards the point where the TSA agent was gatekeeping.
The blonde hesitated, before plastering an overly bright smile onto her face.
“You have your ticket?” She asked.
Lena nodded, looking down at it and the passport she held in her free hand. A pregnant silence descended, demanding to be filled with that unsaid things that they hadn’t talked about the entire time they had discussed Lena taking this internship.
That had all been about future’s and planning and dreams, not about sentimentality.
Lena didn’t know how she would react if it occurred now when she was balancing on a knife’s edge of reason. Instead, she took a strong breath, before eyeing Kara firmly and cupping her cheek.
“I’m not even gonna say it, Kara,” she whispered, lingering. “Then maybe it’ll be like I never left…”
The blonde didn’t reply, but Lena could see the resignation. Kara understood what this internship meant to Lena. A chance stop the fall from grace. A chance at redemption and an opportunity to regain control over her life and destiny, earning back everything she had lost ten-fold.
And newfound respect that was entirely her own.
Nobody would ever be able to say she rode her family’s coattails to get her this. A path laid out before her, a future ahead of the perfect life she could create for herself and for Kara.
On that thought, Lena took one last look at her girlfriend before turning to head for the doors, fighting against a flood of tears.
She had only taken a few steps when she heard Kara call out behind her.
“Wait.”
Lena closed her eyes, pained and praying that Kara wouldn’t do what Lena thought she was going to do next. She turned around still, watching as her emotional girlfriend approached her.
“I have a bad feeling about this," the blonde said with wide eyes.
“About the plane? What do you think it’s gonna crash?” Lena asked. “Don’t say that…"
Kara shook her head, before seemingly mustering her resolve and giving Lena a fiery look that blazed in her blue eyes.
“I know we’ve talked about this a thousand times and we both agree that going to London is the right thing to do,” the blonde said lowly, reaching out to take Lena’s hand. “But in my heart... this feels wrong.”
Kara looked over at the line of people, churning through the door and all onto unknown journeys, before looking back into Lena’s eyes.
“Don’t go, Lena.”
“You mean don’t go at all?” The brunette asked. “What about my internship?
Kara shook her head, fraught.
“Believe me, I know what an incredible opportunity this is for you-"
Lena cut her off.
“For us, Kara.”
The other woman nodded, clearly fighting back tears.
“Right, for us. But…I’m afraid that if you get on that plane…"
Lena felt a cold shudder or premonition roll down her spine, mirroring the uncertainty and fear, so unusual, that was dancing in Kara’s eyes.
“What?” She whispered out in question, searching Kara’s face for the words.
Her girlfriend kept staring at her, clearly looking for something too, but she couldn’t seem to get the words out to voice what she wanted either.
Instead, even though she seemed torn in two, she stepped back.
“Go. I’m sorry, you should just go…”
At that moment, Lena felt a surge of protectiveness over Kara at her words, a desire to throw everything away and just hold her love for as long as it could sustain her.
“No, you’re right. What are we doing?” Lena asked.
Kara gave her a firm look, before straightening the jacket on the brunette’s shoulders.
“We're being responsible,” she said with a sniff. “Go. Get on the plane.”
Lena’s momentary waver dissipated, reality crashing back, but she still watched Kara for half a second with worry.
The blonde noticed her stare and half pushed Lena away.
“Get the hell outta my sight. You bother me.”
Lena laughed at that, noting Kara’s now calm face and encouraging nod, but she still wasn’t convinced at its sincerity.
Still… she needed to do this and Lena knew that Kara had to know that too.
“Okay,” she said resolutely. “I'm going…”
Lena gave Kara one last tight hug, before looking at the crawling line once more while the blonde grasped the front of her shirt tightly.
“I can't seem to let go of you…”
Lena chuckled at the whispered confession.
“You hear me complaining about that?” She teased with an arched eyebrow, before sobering once she realised that Kara looked on the verge of collapsing.
“Look, we're at the airport and no one ever thinks clearly at the airport so we should just trust the decision we already made,” Lena said softly, but firmly. “You've been accepted to one of the best grad schools in the country, I've got this internship at Wayne Enterprises. We have a great plan, darling.”
Kara’s lip wobbled, but she got a wild look in her eye.
“You want to do something great, Lena?” She said with passion. “Let's flush the plan...start our lives right now, today...I don't know what this life's gonna look like but I do know it has both of us in it. And I choose us…”
She smiled broadly, excitement and joy growing in her face along with emotional tears. Lena was jolted by her words.
“The plan doesn't make us great, Lena,” Kara continued. “What we have together, that's what makes us great.”
Lena stared at Kara, the blonde’s words so strong and raw that they painted the picture in the brunette’s mind as clear as day. The words sunk into her mind, and then there was a long moment of heavy decision, Lena looking at the door, before back at Kara who was imploring her with her eyes. Finally, she pulled the blonde in for a deep kiss. Kara moaned into it, her body practically vibrating. The second they stopped, they both kept each other in a tight hug.
“I love you, Kara,” Lena whispered into the blonde’s ear.
The taller woman nuzzled her nose into the side of the brunette’s neck.
“I love you too.”
Lena bit her lip, before pulling back and taking Kara’s overjoyed face in her hands.
“...and a year in London's not gonna change that.”
Lena watched as the joy collapsed from Kara’s eyes and morphed into despair and heartbreak, but the brunette knew that she had to be the strong one at this moment.
For both of them.
She rubbed her thumbs over Kara’s cheeks.
“A hundred years couldn't change that…”
Lena held her tongue as the blonde’s tears began to fall down her face and she tightened her spine, giving Kara’s forehead a final kiss before turning pensively and walking towards the line and through the doors.
Determined not to turn or look back, for both their sakes.