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Philip wasn't sure of a lot of things in his life. Future was always changing. People he knew were constantly taking alternative paths in their lives. The director swapped their mission almost every day. Things were never the same.
But Philip was starting to be sure of one particular thing, that thing being he couldn't survive any longer having those flashes of what the future could look like. Well, he couldn't survive if Trevor kept insisting on meditation.
Running with Trevor wasn't bad. He actually liked it. It helped him to have some action and have no space on his mind to actually think about other realities. Running was helpful, and that's way more than Philip could say about meditation.
Philip couldn't keep his mind empty when he was doing nothing more than closing his eyes, and that obviously wasn't the ideal. Meditating caused his mind to go unquiet, as if it was the trigger to make all realities dance on his face.
Some of the scenes he saw wasn't so bad, like seeing himself talking to Poppy or just sitting on the computer. There were the most terrible ones, where he could see someone of the team dead and himself mourning for them. But there were some that were just inconvenient, like seeing himself and Trevor making out on the couch.
Philip just knew the meditation had to stop. Except, he really liked to spend time with Trevor.
"You need to focus, Philip, or it won't work." Trevor said, eyes still closed.
The blonde took a deep breath, shaking his head. He gave happy couple Trevor and Philip from other reality a last look, before returning to close his eyes.
He tried to focus on his own breathing, as the older traveler had suggested, but it was getting harder every time since other reality Trevor had started calling his name under his breath.
"We should go for a run, Trev." Philip said a little uncomfortable and opened his eyes, being followed by the other.
"Are you seeing other possibilities now?" The older asked, seeming a little worried while the younger nodded. "Is it bad?"
Philip looked into the direction where they were both still kissing on the couch. Seeing himself practically in Trevor's lap wasn't what he needed right now, and hearing himself making weird noises wasn't any better.
"Yeah..." He turned his attention back to his real lifetime team mate.
"What is it?" Concern clear in Trevor's voice.
"I'm not supposed to talk about it, you know." The blonde answered with tired tone. "But meditating isn't helping, we should try something else."
"Maybe if you tried to clear your mind, it would work." Trevor said, calm expression in his face. "C'mon, what do you see?"
"I see you." Philip answered simple.
"How many of me?"
"Just one." Not counting the couple, of course.
"How many fingers am I holding?" Trevor asked and Philip knew it was the moment everything's gone to shit, because suddenly there was too many Trevors in the room to his comfort.
"Eleven?" He tried, half joking while Trevor glared at him. "Okay, four, but just because you're the one in th—"
The younger traveler was interrupted by a firm hand embracing him from behind. He felt a chin rest in his shoulder and hot breathe in his cheek. He thought he couldn't handle anymore Trevors in the room, but it seemed he was wrong. The Trevor behind him held a hand with two fingers up to him, how many fingers am I holding?
"Phil? I'm getting worried." Trevor, his Trevor, said standing up, walking in his direction and offering a hand so the other could get up.
Well, first of all, it was all Trevor's fault for insisting they should meditate.
And of all the things Philip didn't need in the moment was more contact but what were his options? Having other reality Trevor brush his lips against his ear? So he just accepted the hand pulling him up.
As a magic trick, he felt the hand around him vanish just as he also stopped hearing the moans from the couple in the couch. Trevor started to let go of his hand and Philip had a little panic, holding the older's hand in both of his. Philip saw the confused expression in the other's face and lowered his eyes to their hands.
"It's just... I think that helps." He explained, a little confused himself.
"You stopped seeing those?" Concern in his voice.
"Yes. I think it has to do with your touch." Philip said and laughed to himself, Trevor's touch was doing a lot to him today, and boy was his head getting messed up by this.
"We should hold hands more often , then." Trevor said and, without the hand Philip held captive, he pulled him into a half assed hug.
The blonde rested his head into the other shoulder and felt fingers dancing through his hair. He wanted to make the hug tighter, to hold Trevor, but he refused to let go of his hand. They stayed like that for some minutes, before Trevor smiled and murmured "You know, Phil, we're standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.", making the other laugh lightly.
His Trevor's voice so close to him was weird, but not at all unwelcome. He squeezed the others hand and nuzzled his neck.
"Yeah, but I don't mind."