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You know, sometimes life hits you a little too hard; leaves you battered, bruised, and really messed up… God, life really is merciless.
And… Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it kisses your cheek and tucks you in bed, hugs you and tells you it will be okay. Sometimes.
Rarely.
If ever.
The alarm went off at exactly 5:30 am, a loud shrieking amidst the darkness of the room, Yoongi groaned as he stretched over from his weird position on the bed and slapped around his bedside table, each time missing the continuous noise. He growled, getting up and squinting in the darkness, finally slapping the annoying thing off.
He laid back down.
He awoke once again when his phone went off. He fumbled to pick it up, but did so anyway, “Mornin’.”
“Good morning, sunshine hyung.”
Yoongi smiled into his pillow, “Mm-mm, you know you're the sunshine.”
Hoseok laughed on the other line, “I know, but you make my day a little brighter, so hurry up cause I'm outside and we got about twenty minutes before work.”
“I love you.”
“I know,” he laughed again, “hurry up.”
As he showered, he wondered how long Hoseok had been his coworker, approximately about 5 years , his friend, easy: 10 years , he whistled to himself. He'd say he would have about the same time with the others, ranging from 8 to 11 years, but nonetheless more than 5. He whistled as he put on his suit, checking himself in the mirror and then decided he didn't care enough as how he looked. He rushed out and reached the passenger's door only to find Namjoon already seated, his bright dimple smile on display, Yoongi smiled back, rolling his eyes playfully as he took his seat next to Jimin in the back.
“Morning,” they interchanged greetings.
“You're late hyung,” Namjoon pointed at his watch.
“Cut me some slack, it's a Monday.”
“It's been like this for the past five years.”
“Aren't you the one that said habits are hard to break?”
“I said certain habits are hard to break.”
“How convenient for you, eh?” Jimin teased Namjoon.
Yoongi smiled, leaning on Jimin, “please save me, he's mean.”
Namjoon stuck his tongue out at him, causing Jimin to giggle.
“I feel like I'm taking care of kids and not driving entrepreneurs to work.”
“Fall off, you love us either way,” Jimin smiled brightly.
“A little too much, I'd hate to admit,” Hoseok smiled as he pulled into work.
The aura completely changed, from one that seemed child-like to one of professionalism. They walked into the office, greeted courtly by the secretaries and they greeted back the same. They walked into their floor and into their separate offices.
“Hey sweetheart.”
He looked up at Seokjin through his lashes and smirked, “Hi babe.”
Seokjin made a face of mock disgust, “so that one doesn't work either.”
“If ‘fine piece of ass’ didn't, do you really think any other would?”
“You're unbreakable.”
“Have been for the past decade.”
Seokjin rolled his eyes, “anyway Taehyung said you received a few calls. Jungkook will stop by later to drop off the receipts and profits of this month.”
“How is that company doing?”
“Last time we checked it wasn't holding up too well…”
A knock interrupted them.
“Come in.”
It was Jimin, “Hi, hyungs, some report of the company just came in. It seems to be doing better than it did last month.”
“Give them to me,” Seokjin smiled and reached out for them, Jimin handing them over before he left.
He scanned them over, and then again, raising his eyebrows up.
“Well?”
Seokjin only handed the papers over.
He glanced over them and his jaw dropped.
“Right?”
“That's impossible!”
“Mafia.”
“Could this in any way hurt us?”
“Jungkook!”
A shuffle of footsteps were heard before the door opened and a coconut head peeked in, “yes hyung?”
“You're a lawyer, are you not?”
“I minored in laws, yes, why?”
“Let's say a business is involved in a mafia dealing, say the business was built from dust up because of our company, and said company may speculate it is indeed involved in the mafia, if the business itself were to get caught and detained, how would this affect our company?”
“It wouldn't. Unless the business was codependent of your company, and not independent. Whatever dealings and apprehensions said business would have, it wouldn't affect your company because you only deal with the money it spends and gives to you. You are not responsible for what said business does with it's own profit.”
Seokjin clutched at his heart, “Ah Jungookie, you make my heart flutter.”
Jungkook flushed, “Hyung!”
“Thank you, Jungkook, that was impressionable.”
Jungkook bowed to them both before retreating.
“Well that isn't none of our business then.”
“Precisely.”
It was a long day after that, business calls after business calls. Yoongi didn't know how he handled it. How any of them did actually. It was weird, how they started off as nothing and became one of the biggest companies in Korea, handling business from all over Asia and some overseas. Don't be an entrepreneur , they said, you don't know what you're getting yourself into . Partially, they were right, he didn't know what he was getting into, but with six amazing high school friends running a business together, suddenly life wasn't so bad.
He sighed happily as he kicked off his shoes at the door of his shabby apartment. It wasn't too shabby, but it wasn't like he wanted to pay for a luxury condo like Seokjin and Hoseok did, he was just fine here, in this medium apartment he could call home. It was 8:52 pm, the perfect time for him to get home on a Monday, and still have time to hang out with one of the boys at the local bar, but he felt like staying at home tonight.
And so he did.
Now, life is full of surprises, isn't it?
Always sending them unexpectedly, sometimes they're pleasant, other times… not so much. And then there's time where it's just… What the fuck?
At those surprises, it's an absolute curve ball, but you manage to hit it and land a home run, right? Wrong, that only happens in movies, you're lucky if you even connect the baseball with the bat.
Yoongi was seated on the couch, watching some show about cooking. Oddly, he didn't know how to cook besides the basics, but he loved watching cook off shows, and Seokjin who didn't like watching these shows could cook just about anything you asked him and he only took one semester of half assed culinary before the chef quit his job at the university to run away to Canada. Yoongi smiled to himself, what couldn't Seokjin do?
His phone rang and it interrupted his train of thought, he picked it up, “Hello?”
“Goodnight sir, is this Min Yoongi?”
“Yes?”
Her voice lit up, “Sir, I'm calling from the Sperm Donation Bank in Seoul. Your sperm donation was used recently, and the surrogate mother just gave birth to a baby girl.” Her voice dimmed down a little, “unfortunately, the mother's body was far too weak to sustain the birth and she passed before the doctor could do much for her.”
Yoongi's heart was beating a thousand miles per minute.
“Until we find a mother or a home for the child, it's our policy to call the surrogate father in case you would like to… temporarily be her guardian?”
“Can I do that?”
“Would you… like to?”
“But she's not my kid.”
“Biologically speaking, sir, she is.”
“Holy shit.”
“Sir?”
“I have a kid.”
“Yes, sir this is what this call was about.”
“Oh my God. Um, well I… holy shit, yea, I'll take care of her in the meantime. Would you like to run my record? Know where I'm employed at? Know if I do drugs or have committed felonies?”
“We run those before we call, sir.”
“Oh,” he laughed a little disbelieving, “well, when do I pick her up?”
“In the next few weeks should be fine, the doctors here believe her condition is rather… Delicate, so they will nurture her until they deem her strong enough to be taken home. They'll further explain once you come for her. Have a good night sir.”
“You too.” And he clicked the line, dropping his phone. He stared at the TV but his mind wasn't on the show.
Life is weird. It has a bunch of twist and turns and points of no return. It's like a road. A really intimidating disproportional road. Sometimes you do things on a whim and others you have to calculate every movement and every idea. Sometimes you turn left when it should've been right and sometimes you go forward when you should've stayed in one place.
Min Yoongi should've probably stayed in one place.
He was the first one at work for the next month, the others caught on the last week and finally called him out on it. They were at the local bar on a Saturday night, their day off, when Namjoon cleared his throat first, “Alright, Yoongi, what's up?”
He swirled his drink, “about?”
“Dude,” Hoseok leaned onto the table, “you've been early to our job that starts at 6:45 am for the past month, according to the receptionists.”
“And you greet them with your gummy smile.”
“Yoongi-hyung never uses his gummy smile until he's drunk off his ass or alone with us,” Taehyung sipped on his drink.
“Exactly.”
“Oh.”
Seokjin pouted, “think he fell in love?”
“Doubt it, he hasn't fallen for either of us so I doubt the man even feels.”
“I'm right here?”
“Whatever, I'm not lying.”
“Hyung,” Jungkook tapped his hand lightly, “is there anything you'd like to tell us?”
“If you must know, all of you, then fine.”
All eyes were on him, the air shifting into one of anticipation.
“I have a kid.”
Life was funny at the weirdest of times. Like sometimes it's just so odd you have to laugh at it, like you'll see a weird looking cat and it'll chase you down the road before you finally lose it and later laugh at the whole situation. Sometimes life just places you in a place at a certain time and it was just meant to be and it all seems too perfect you have to laugh.
And this seemed way too perfect, it was unexpected and funny.
He caused Seokjin to spit out his drink, Hoseok to hack up a lung, Taehyung's straw to hit the back of his throat, and Namjoon to stand up causing Jimin to fall off his seat, Jungkook's hand stilled, drink in the air only to be slammed down again. Their eyes were unnaturally big, and their expressions was one akin of pure disbelief.
“What?”
“What do you mean what?”
Hoseok finished his coughing fit, “since when do you have a partner, a girlfriend, and when did you get her pregnant?”
Yoongi smirked, his attitude nonchalant, “I don't have a girlfriend, but I do have a kid.”
“How?”
“Wait.”
They all turned to Seokjin. He was staring at the table, his eyes only rose to lock with Yoongi's, “you donated sperm.”
Yoongi only smiled back.
“When?”
“Years ago, I needed the money, didn't care how I got it but look, it became a business and now I have a kid.”
“Do you even know the mother?”
“She passed after the birth of the baby, which is why I was called.”
“Do you know it's name?”
“Legally she has no name, but I was thinking of Areum. Min Areum.”
Hoseok gasped in delight, “it's a girl.”
“Yea,” Yoongi smiled his gummy smile despite drinking only one quarter of his drink.
Seokjin frowned, “and you plan to raise this so called daughter.”
“It's only for the meantime, how could it hurt?”
Life was certainly a long list of things. It was cruel yet delightful, it was odd and it still made sense all the same. Life threw you curve balls and sometimes you were just that lucky. Life hated you on some days and loved you the others.
If life had been a person, life sure would've been a peculiar one. Peculiar yet friendly. Perhaps you would like to surround yourself with people like life.
Or maybe you would avoid them.
How could we ever know?
Three months after her birth and the call, Areum Min came home with her dad. The nurse gave very specific instructions and Yoongi had to leave work early for the next three weeks so he could learn how to properly handle his daughter. Her condition was very delicate and she needed a lot of attention.
Yoongi was a busy person but he was also his own boss, and with six other men also running the business with him, he was sure he could miss a couple days. Or weeks, but he didn't, his business always came first.
Or so he had thought.
When he arrived into the not so shabby apartment, Jimin opened the door for him, Hoseok right behind, gasping in delight as he saw the bundle in Yoongi's arms. Yoongi smiled sheepishly, “this is her, Areum.”
He stepped inside and the boys swarmed around him like flies. He hushed them without a need and walked into what he had turned into her room while he waited on her arrival. The room was a soft baby pink, with hues of lilac, yellow and baby blue. She had a princess-themed, white baby crib, and a matching changing station and rocking chair. Neither of them had ever had a child but Jungkook's brother's wife had recently given birth and she was more than excited to hear about the news and more elated to help them decorate. Overall the room that had once been Yoongi's storage room turned into a baby paradise, and they were proud of the handiwork.
He laid her down in the crib and cooed at her sleeping form. Seokjin, who had been somewhat against the idea of him bringing her home, gripped Yoongi's arm and let out a small gasp. His eyes teared at the corners and his smile was barely masked. They all stared fondly at the new addition to their family.
Yoongi wasn't planning on getting attached. Sure it felt cool to have a kid, hell, it felt awesome, but he wasn't sure he was ready to be a father yet. The receptionist had said only until they found a permanent home for her, he'd be fine. But looking at Areum's sleeping form, suddenly he wished they never found one.
It's a boring cycle. You are born, you live a couple of decades, and then you die. Life is boring. Yet exciting. It's… A rollercoaster per say. The ride up is your years of nurture and growth, what tends to be preschool, kindergarten, primary, junior, high school and college. The balance at the peak is usually post college and your first practice of career, when everything in life seems settled and good, where you go out and have friends, where you find love, where you discover the world, where you truly find yourself. And then there's the fall, and that's what most say is “mid-life crisis”, but it's not really mid-life since you don't know how long you'll live, but that's when the diseases roll in, when life starts falling apart and when all seems bad.
Perhaps life isn't boring. Maybe it's scary.
Or just plain unpredictable, like in this case.
The first time it happened, God had it really scared Yoongi. He almost passed out in the hallway of the hospital, it took a lot from both Seokjin and Taehyung to calm him down. The doctor said he had stabilized her but he really couldn't disclose any more information if he wasn't legally her parent. Yoongi had insisted he was the biological father, but the doctor refused him. He was beyond frustrated but he didn't break. Seokjin had cried, and Yoongi had to console him but Yoongi had never once cried after he turned 12. It's not that he didn't want to, he just insisted that there wasn't a need to.
Little did he now the need would come. And it would overwhelm him. It would drown and tear him apart, but this wasn't the time.
That's when the process began, when he went back to the Sperm Donation Bank to acclaim what was biologically his.
“I'm sorry, sir, it seems that isn't in our control.”
“Well, where am I supposed to go?”
“The court, they'll open a case and see if you're eligible to have full custody of the girl.”
“So I have to go to court, open a case, and try to see if I can have custody of my own daughter?”
“Yes sir.”
“That's bullshit.”
The receptionist sighed, “I know, it's stupid, but it's the law, or whatever.”
His eyes widened and he quickly apologized. Yoongi smirked at the poor man, “Nah it's all good, but thank you.”
He walked towards the door but before he reached it the receptionist called back at him, “And uh sir?”
He looked back, “Good luck.”
It was a sincere smile, one Yoongi would grow to cherish, and he smiled back.
He was back in his office, Areum babbling incoherences in her playpen as her father worked diligently. Jungkook let himself in and made faces at Areum, causing her to laugh cutely at him. He set the files down on Yoongi's desk and spoke as he went to pick Areum out of the playpen, “I spoke to my brother's friend, the lawyer, and he said he would take your side on the case. So far it's going well, and he really believes now that she's been in your care for a couple of months and no harm has been made, you have the upperhand. He has kept in mind of her condition and is working on getting the files about her medical records, but soon you'll be able to see them too.”
Areum pulled at one of his many earrings, and he grimaced, “Ah, ah baby not those, those hurt Googoo.”
“Googoo!” Areum giggled as she reached for them again.
“Mind if I take her around? I'll be careful hyung.”
“Please do, I don't want her to get bored in her playpen.”
Jungkook smiled at him and then murmured cute things at Areum. She laughed back at him. Yoongi smiled at them and waved them goodbye when they walked out.
Yoongi sighed and leaned back on his desk. Then Namjoon and Hoseok walked into his office, handing him a cup of coffee.
“How's it going?”
“Slow, but I'm hoping for the best.”
“We all are.”
“Think she'll be yours before she turns one?”
“Mm, doubt it, she turns one in two months.”
“What are we doing for her birthday?”
“Well, I was thinking of… a normal celebration between the eight of us.”
“Balloons, cake, and a movie?”
“Disney marathon?”
“Yea, that sounds good, honestly.”
-
“Absolutely not.”
“What? Why?”
“I'm her father.”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“It's her first year, we should do a big party!”
“Seokjin, she's an only child, and my family doesn't know I have her.”
“But Jungkook's brother and his family know, we can invite Junghyun and his wife.”
“Mejiwoo knows too, Hoseok couldn't keep his mouth shut and he told her how we all have a daughter and she really lives up to her name.”
“Eonjin and Jeonggyu know as well, since Taehyung has his lockscreen of him and Areum and more questions arose than answers.”
“Great so everyone's family knows except my own.”
“Not necessarily, just a selective five know.”
“Seven if you include Junghyun's children.”
“Okay, a selective seven know.”
“Well, I stand by the original plan, only us eight.”
“I refuse.”
“You can't, she isn't your daughter.”
“Oh but she is. I didn't make her but I'm here.”
“Either way it's 6 against 1. Oddity.”
“That's 5 dads too many.”
“Actually,” Yoongi switched Areum from on side to the other, “that's six dads too many.”
“And yet, you don't stop us from calling her daughter.”
“You're all lucky I've known you for a decade.”
“We really are,” Jimin cooed at Areum.
The second time it happened, Jimin and Jungkook had been out shopping with him. And again, it was the same panic. A little more overwhelming than the first. And yet again, the doctor refused to disclose any information but what did say was he hoped he got the custody soon, it was an urgent matter for him to get them.
It left an uneasy feeling in his chest.
That night Areum clung to him and he shifted around in the hospital bed so he could wrap around all the wires that surrounded her. He prayed to a God he wasn't all too sure existed, but nonetheless he hoped he would hear his prayers and answer them.
Three months after Areum had turned one and a half, he was finally able to get custody. It was arduous work, draining to the point Yoongi almost physically fought the opposing lawyer, but he got it. He'd be lying if he said he didn't tear up, but he would be lying if he said he did cry. Finally, all of his hard work had paid off. After a year with her being in his life, Areum was legally a Min.
Min Areum, daughter of Min Yoongi.
Who was dying.
And who's father seemed unbreakable even when his world fell apart.
It wasn't the time yet.
But it would be soon.
Life wasn't fair. Shit… life was painful, painful to the point you'd like to fight it. Life hurts you in the most horrific ways and still asks for you to stand up. Life builds only to break. Life gives with the condition to take. Life bears fruit only for it to whither. Every beginning has an end, and no, it wasn't sweet. No goodbye was bittersweet, it was just plain bitter.
Like the coffee of this morning.
And every morning after.
It hurt Yoongi to see Areum smile so damn brightly. He wished he knew who to curse, but not even the mother of his child was to blame. After all, she gave her life so Areum would live, and even then, the attempt had failed.
Yoongi didn't know how long she had left, but he didn't tell them. It was the first time he had ever hid something from them, but he still smiled brightly at the receptionists, he still laughed and joked, and hoped for the best.
His daughter was the biggest surprise in his life. The biggest blessing his dulling life would ever get and probably the last. Yoongi felt as if he was at sea, with the waves splashing on his toes, and every time he blinked, he moved further into the water. He wished the blinking would cease, he was already at chest level, but it didn't.
Min Yoongi was unbreakable and Areum made him even more so.
Areum tugged at Seokjin's pant leg and he quickly picked her up, “Jiji, I'm hungry.”
“What would my favorite little girl like to eat?”
“I want a sandwich.”
“The regular?”
She smiled her father's gummy smile.
“Jungkook, Ari would like…”
“The regular, yes, I heard. I'm getting lunch anyway, we're gonna eat with her, yes?”
Seokjin nodded, the trio smiling brightly.
They were eating. Simply eating, and Yoongi had gotten his hope ups since the last time it happened had been months before Areum turned two. But here they were again, in the hospital. The count had reached two fingers into the other hand, much too Yoongi's distaste. The count should've stayed on one hand, if not less.
The doctor pulled him aside, “her records show she isn't doing well anymore. They're back down. Her sepsis is getting the best of her. I'm afraid it won't be long before it takes over completely.”
Yoongi looked from the doctor to the floor, he sighed and looked up again, “is there anything I can do?”
“I'm afraid not, Mr. Min. Her condition was weak since the beginning, I'm surprised she survived this long. She really is a strong little girl, and with a father like you to take care of her, you really are a blessing in her life.”
“Yea well, I'm not the only one. The six men out there helped me raise her.”
The doctor smiled softly, “you all did well. I'm sure she feels very loved. I'm sorry this happened to her.”
“Thank you.”
Yoongi walked out of his office and into the hallway where he was swarmed with the boys’ worried stares. He didn't pay them mind, instead he walked into Areum's room, and sat down next to her wired form.
“Baby… it's me, Daddy. I hope…” His voice broke, “I hope you know we all love you… Jiji loves spoiling you with pastries, Bibi loves buying you those puffy dresses you love so much, Namnam loves to read you books and help you learn the alphabet… and Minmin… he loves to braid your hair and play dress up… baby, Googoo and Taetae love you so much… and Daddy… daddy loves you the most.”
He squeezed her small, fragile hand in his, “Daddy is really grateful you’re in his life, Ari… he really loves you, okay? And he wants you to live your best life. So please… please stay with me, yea? Please continue making my days brighter. Continue laughing so cutely whenever Jiji or Minmin make cute faces at you. Continue doing mischiefs with Taetae and Googoo. Continue reading with Namnam until you fall asleep curled up in his arms. Please… continue sticking bows in my hair with Bibi when I fall asleep on the couch… please just… live.”
Min Yoongi was an unbreakable man, and he had set for life to not break him, but it damn well neared when he dropped his head unto their interlaced hands and the others sniffled around him.
She was released three days later, and she bounced around as if nothing had happened. She wore her favorite yellow dress that Hoseok had gotten her before she was interned, the only evidence of such act being the bandaid in her inner forearm. Seokjin picked her up and twirled her around, and Areum squealed in delight.
Life was unforgiving. It took and took and never gave. You live life carelessly until it's ripped away from you… that's when reality dawns upon thee and one changes. But when life does give, suddenly the world turns a little faster and the sun shines a little brighter, it seems as if the moon sings and the sea blows kisses. Life is good, it's kind at times, it gives you and makes it to seem it won't rip it away but it's a lie. It's always foul play.
Life gives only to take.
Life is good but unforgiving.
Even if you do deserve the world, not always do you get it.
And Min Areum was not able to get it.
She smiled brightly, completely ignorant to her thinning frame, her paling skin and the dark circles around her eyes. It pained Yoongi but he still made sure she lived her best life. He flew her overseas to Japan's Disneyland. They all went on amusement park dates. They went to pizza places. They went to Areum's favorite place: the beach.
Jimin, as usual, took many polaroids. Spent three whole packets, but the day was just too perfect. They saw dolphins, and they immediately became Areum's favourite animal. And when questioned, they suddenly became Yoongi's as well. Hoseok bought packets of bubbles and spent the entire casings. Smiles went all around and laughs were shared. It was a good day. Yoongi wished he could stay here with his bestest friends and his daughter forever.
“How long have you known for?”
It was abrasive.
“Since I gained custody of her.”
“Why didn't you tell us?”
“I didn't feel a need to.”
“You didn't find a need ?!”
“Please, lower your voice, she's sleeping.”
“Yoongi, I know you're her father, but this was something that needed to be shared.”
“For what?” It was he who raised his voice now, “so you could pity her? So your love sprouted from melancholy? So when you looked at her, you wouldn't really see her but a dying little girl that so happened to come into our lives? Is that why you needed to know?”
“No, so we could have-”
“Could have what? She's dying, Seokjin, she was dying the moment she came out of the womb. She wasn't supposed to live. That's why I wasn't allowed to see her until three months later.”
Yoongi wasn't supposed to be attached.
None of them should have.
“She wasn't supposed to be. But for some sick reason she was. There's nothing we could have done or do now.”
“Yoongi...” Jungkook placed his hand gently on the other's back.
“My mother wants to meet her.”
They all stilled.
“My mother… her grandmother… Wants to meet her granddaughter.”
“Will you let her?”
“She won't have enough time to love her for her.”
“There's not much time. Areum is a beautiful girl, it's hard not to love her.”
“We've been there since the beginning, but if I or Taehyung or Namjoon were to meet her now, I'm sure we'd still love her the same. She's our little angel, let her become your mother's as well.”
And so they met. Hoseok was right, his mother loved Areum just as much as he did. She let her play with her short, graying bob and danced with her when asked. She loved Areum as much as she loved Yoongi. To their surprise Yoongi's older siblings came as well. Anxiety rose in Yoongi's chest, seeing how attached they were all quickly becoming of Areum. He knew it wouldn't last, wanted to let them know so, but right now it wasn't the moment. He wasn't sure when the moment would be, but eventually he'd have to let them know, and that was eating away at him.
He didn't want them to fall in love with her but he also didn't want them not to love her. He wanted to give Areum the world. He wanted to show her that the world goes round, and the stars shine for her and the seas send her kisses in the breeze.
He wanted her to go to college. He wanted her to fall in love and he wanted to scare her boyfriends away. He wanted her to go out with friends. He wanted to grow old knowing his daughter was in good hands. He wanted her to discover the world. He wanted her to be happy.
He just wanted his own daughter to live.
He stayed with his mother for a few days, and the night before he left, he found her seated next to the sleeping form of Areum.
“She's sick, isn't she?”
He leaned against the door frame, “yes.”
“Were you going to tell me?”
“I was planning to, but…”
“But it's hard because you haven't accepted it yet have you?”
“She's dying, mom…”
She stood up from her spot and walked to him, embracing him in a tight hug and he clung to her.
“My baby girl's dying.”
The next few months were agonizing. Areum continued smiling brightly, she was months away from turning three, and yet she wasn't getting any better. The boys didn't know what to do.
There wasn't anything to do.
The doctor had explained to all of them various times.
They were at the park when she suddenly collapsed. Yoongi didn't know how much more he'd be able to take before he too broke. It felt too much. It was all too much. It was so unfair.
He was tired of being in the hospital every so often, the nurses knew their names already and that irritated him. He knew as much as the others did that this didn't bother Areum in the slightest, but they wished she wasn't as serene always. They wish she cried more often that she didn't want her dads to leave but instead she was the one that waved them goodbye with a bright smile when she was interned.
She truly was a strong little girl.
And she deserved better.
Life was so cruel to those so undeserving of it.
He awoke abruptly, sleep suddenly drained from his body. He clutched at his chest as he rose from his bed and stumbled into Areum's room. She laid there, just as he had left her a couple hours ago. But he knew something was off. She looked way too peaceful.
For the first time, he didn't like it.
He was at her side in less than a stride and impulsively placed a finger below her nose. He waited for her exhale or inhale to come but it never did. He stood there, finger under her nose, for a good minute. He hoped she would magically regain her breathing and her heart would pick up beats again but when he touched her wrist, it felt very cold.
She had passed long before he could find her.
Min Areum was no longer.
Min Yoongi wasn't unbreakable.
Min Yoongi was only human.
He screamed as he clutched her body to his and his tears flowed like rivers. His entire frame raked from his heart wrenching sobs. He sobbed and pleaded to a God he knew didn't listen twice but she wasn't his anymore. He kissed her face frantically, wishing he could love her back to life... But that was impossible.
You can't love someone to life.
The funeral was held the Thursday of the week after.
Yoongi had never realized just how many people he had let Areum meet, but in the small cementery near the beach were seated at least 30 people. Twenty nine people too many. Maybe thirty people weren't enough for Areum. Maybe he should have exposed her more, more people should've been graced with the existence of her. But it was too late now.
Yoongi stood in front of the white princess casket, Min Areum carved gracefully into it in cursive. He blinked down at it and traced over each letter.
"I know you loved her very much."
His mother smiled sadly up at him and he did his best to smile back, "I really did, mom."
"You were a good father, Yoongi. Your father would've been proud. I know I am."
She reached up to kiss his cheek and he let her, her lips stained by the tears that flooded his eyes.
Everyone said their condolences and slowly the crowd of thirty became a crowd of only
seven.
They all stood around the casket, blank expressions only betrayed by the tears and the occasional sniffle of every other. The only sound around them was that of the crashing waves.
Yoongi spoke first, "Thank you."
Red, teary eyes looked at him.
"She came into my life unexpectedly, and I wasn't prepared to be a father but I'm glad I had you to help me through it. It means a lot that you've stuck around for goods, but it definitely weighs more that you've been here for the bads. I don't know if Areum was a bad happening, but while she was here... She made life good. I hope we were able to give her a great life and I hope she was able to leave this world feeling loved. She was the greatest kid I could have not asked for. She was a little bit of all of us, and I guess that's partly why I loved her so much. Because I love all of you. So thank you. Thank you for being good fathers alongside me."
"No, thank you," Jimin seemed so composed for being one of the biggest cry babies along with Seokjin, Hoseok, Taehyung and occasionally Jungkook and Namjoon, really, they were all big ass babies, "you could've easily denied Areum, let the Donations center deal with her, but you still brought her home. You still called her your daughter with your entire heart. You really did give her the world, and we're all happy you let us do it as well. It may hurt now, but with time wounds will heal. I believe that as long as we have each other, Areum will always live within us."
Yoongi smiled at Jimin, the other doing so as well.
"I-" Seokjin's voice cracked, "I know I was against you bringing her home in the beginning but I'm so grateful you ignored me yet again," this caused the others to laugh lightly, "and that you brought her home. She really lit up my world the first night I met her. She was the greatest daughter I couldn't have had. And I believe too, this will bring us closer than we were. Areum wasn't a bad mishap, she was a blessing since the beginning and she will continue to be for as long as we live."
"I was too young to be a dad," Jungkook sobbed into Taehyung's shoulder, making his hyungs laugh, he regained his composure and wiped his tears away. "I really did love her like my own daughter. And I really did see all of us in her eyes. She had a trace of each one of us in her and that will always live with me. She will always live with us. She was gone far too soon but in her wake, she did many great things unknowingly. So thank you, Yoongi-hyung, thank you for giving us this opportunity to love someone that was yours as our own."
"She was yours as much as she was mine, Jungkookie."
He nodded before his features contorted to one's of pain. Taehyung hugged the younger into him and stared at the casket, "You know, I always wondered how it felt to love a kid of your own. I saw my cousins having children and just wondered how one felt when they knew they created something so beautiful to roam this world with them. I was sure I'd never find out, but when you told me about Areum... Suddenly the world made a little more sense. Although she wasn't mine, I could finally grasp at the concept of loving a child as one's own. And it truly was beautiful, much like her. I don't know how I'll explain this to anyone else, but losing her feels like a big part of me is missing. I don't know if any of my family knows how it feels like to have your child ripped away from you yet but I hope that if one day they do, I'll be able to walk them through it like you all are helping me do so right now."
"We all help each other," Namjoon patted Taehyung on the shoulder, "Areum... Areum was really smart, and she obviously got it from me." They all chuckled, Namjoon continued before his voice suddenly broke, "she was a really bright kid. In every sense of the word. She was smart, she was kind, she was so very friendly. She really reminded me of you, Yoongi-hyung, when we first met way back when. She really did have traces of all of us... And I hope wherever we go, people see traces of her in us. It hurts a lot to lose one of your own, and I was hoping to never experience it but life is odd. While she was here, she made life all that more interesting, she made me see things I had never seen before, and she was only a child. Thank you, hyung, for creating a child so wonderful as Areum, it truly was a blessing."
Hoseok gasped out a sob, it was heart breaking, because as much as the next, he really loved Areum. They gave him sometime, Jimin expected him not to speak but he did so anyway.
"A-Areum was... is the second greatest happening in my life. The first one being all of you. When you first mentioned you had a kid, I was excited but just as a friend. But when you brought her home and I saw her, suddenly I wasn't excited as a friend anymore but as a father. When you stood in the doorway with a bundle of covers looking soft as ever, I understood then, this was much more than what I bargained for. She became my baby in a blink of an eye and the fact you even let me elated me beyond belief. I knew I loved her since the beginning, and losing her now hurts so damn much, I don't feel like I can go on. But I will because she taught me never to give up, to continue living life fully, because you only get one. So thank you, sincerely, because this journey began with you and ended with us. I know she lived the best life she could because she had fathers who loved her like the most precious gem to ever exist, and it's what she deserved."
They hugged after that, their tears rolling off their faces and onto the casket, pooling around and into the letters of the carved name. Seokjin pulled out a marker and carefully, they all wrote small messages with their initials on top of the casket. Saying their goodbyes, they finally lowered her into the ground for her to rest in peace. After closing the ground and placing her grave, they all walked down to the beach and sat there, watching the sun set.
Sometimes life hits you mercilessly. It hits you very hard and you call it cruel. At other times, it's oddly funny. Sometimes it was good. Others it was so so. Life was truly unpredictable.
But that's always been life.
And although every life has to end, we should always make the best of it. Life fucking sucks, but you don't. So show life who really is in charge and make it the best life you could ever have. No matter the circumstances, the reasons, the good or bads, make sure you live life fully at some point. Make sure you're you until you die. Make sure you go without regrets. Live life like you own the world but never lose sight of where you started.
It's what Areum Min would've done if she was given the chance.