Chapter Text
It starts with Clint. Well, not really, but like Clint was the first one to make more casual things and Tony wants someone other than himself to point fingers at (and Clint is just so easy to blame) so he’s going with Clint. So it’s all Clint’s fault and no one other than Clint’s fault too because who else would come up with the stupid idea of coming out as in a gay relationship with Captain America on Youtube of all places?
Tony and Steve and been dating for 3 and a half years at that point, and life was great, no, life was better than great he was dating six feet of pure American boy scout cue the anthem. But even so, as superheroes the press was a fairly sizable part of their lives and Tony was getting tired of not being able to pull Steve off during the middle of a life-threatening battle to make out (later on Tony would find out that even when the media was aware of who you were dating was, Steve was mean and liked to deny Tony his right to kissing in favour of doing stupid, unimportant things like saving the world. Horrible, he knew) or even just pulling Mrs. Cheating-on-her-husband-with-like-five-other-guys off of Steve for a dance at a gala. The only problem was that the press were assholes, well that’s a given but even more asshole-ey than usual, so Steve didn’t want to give any of them the satisfaction of knowing about their relationship first, but Tony was one 60-year-old-botox-riddled-grandma handing off of Steve’s arm from jumping him in the middle of the street (and from the absolutely filthy looks Steve had been sending him over his shoulder during the Maria Stark Foundation’s gala earlier that week, he was as well; ergo Youtube: neutral, with no ties to any news outlet, and most importantly: more efficient than most other websites JARVIS had suggested when presented with the idea. Of course, when Steve was told of (a practically vibrating) Tony of his ingenious idea, he started panicking.
“Youtube? Um I mean I guess, but like what if they don’t take it seriously? No one takes Youtube seriously. And what if they think it’s a prank? Or if they think it’s really just LMD’s of us? I mean what if-”
“Steve, honey, baby, sweetheart, it’ll be fine.”
“I’m going to come out of Youtube, Tony. I’m not quite so sure.”
“So you agree? We’re gonna do it?”
Steve ran a hand through his hair, “I guess so”
So they sat down on the couch in the workshop (being sure to hide any embarrassing stains with well-placed pillows) had U hold up a StarkPhone (Dummy and Butterfingers hadn’t been able to hold onto the slim frame for long enough for them to get what they wanted to say said (though the first few takes did go a long way to soothe their nerves)) and hit record.
“Hello World, this is Steve Rogers coming to you from Avengers Tower.” Tony had watched Steve say the same line exactly 14 times at this point and yet still his boyfriend’s voice was adorably warm when he said “And for the past three years I have been in a relationship with Tony Stark.”
Tony turned his gaze from Steve’s profile to the phone, “Hi, yes. That’s me.” Great job, Tony. Real smooth. “We know that coming out like this, or just in general, will create backlash, but this is what makes me happy, and hopefully it’s what makes Steve happy too.” He looked over to find the most exasperated look ever, and sure he’d gone off script a little but it wasn’t that bad- his brain was so caught up in finding where he’d gone wrong that he almost missed how Steve’s face turned fond and then there were lips were on his and oooooh. When they parted Tony could almost feel Steve’s dopey grin reflected on his face.
“You’re an idiot”
Tony squawked in offence, “I’ll have you know that I’m a certified genius, so look whose-“
“Okay that’s good enough you don’t need to do that every time I even hint at you being less than Einstein”
“Actually I’m technically smarter than Einstein was sooooo”
“Oh my goodness you’re insufferable”
“You love it”
“Yeah. I do.”
“Sirs” They jumped at JARVIS’ interruption. “I ended the recording. Would you like to try again?”
They exchanged a look.
“Yeah might as well, don’t want the world to go insane because I jump you half way through”
Steve flushed.
--
Even though the video they finally did release didn’t include Tony jumping Steve half way through, the world still went insane.
Reactions spanned from the expected support and homophobic backlash to a surprising (and honestly ridiculous) amount of demands wanting to know the rest of the team’s thoughts. Obviously they didn’t answer those questions; the team still fought together and attended the hellish parties and conferences together, an obvious sign of support to anyone who cared enough.
Of course that was until Clint and JARVIS (the back-stabbing bastard) got involved.
The video had been posted for 3 days, and the press had sent THOR running back inside with the vast swarms of reporters crowding around the lobby of Stark Tower and Clint was getting bored. Apparently they would be “endangering civilian lives” if they fought evil now, so all the villains that would usually mean a call to Assemble were taken care of by the X-Men and Fantastic Four. (It was such a nuisance for others to have your back). So he’d been doing nothing but sparring and paperwork (he was that desperate for stimulation) and it was the WORST. He was scrolling through the comments of his latest Instagram post (of him staring dramatically into the sunset with a bird on his shoulder and a bow in his hand (the one right beside it was a video of Tony explaining some sci-fi movie to Steve and Thor like nothing was wrong while Natasha flipped Clint onto the kitchen floor in the background (the bet as to who would be the first to startle Nat was still at large) and Bruce stared into the camera like he was on the office.)) when he had a stroke of genius. A few minutes of threatening, bribing and begging JARVIS later, he was recording a video of his own.
“Hey, everyone. This is Clint Barton aka Hawkeye and if you have a problem with Steve and Tony’s relationship y’all can suck my dick. Hawkeye out.”
SHEILD PR was not happy with him, but Fury’s throbbing-less-than-usual temple told him that he wasn’t in too much trouble.
Tony on the other hand wasn’t pleased. At all.
“BARTON TELL ME THAT I WAS HALLUCINATING THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEW YORK TIMES OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL HAVE STEVE KICK YOUR PASTY ASS OFF THE TEAM”
Clint knew he was fucked.
“Tony! Hey friend! I take it you saw and enjoyed my opinion piece on your… Steve.”
“What the fuck, Barton.”
Ok. What did they say back in Basic Training? Right. Exploit weak points.
“I love you?” What the fuck Barton.
And of course Steve chose that moment to come in, making two pissed parents making the I-expected-better-from-you face. Clint wasn’t ashamed to admit that he almost pissed his pants.
And yet he decided to dig himself into an even deeper hole by sticking by what he’d said.
After almost a minute of quiet Tony broke the silence. By whining.
“Steeeeeve the press is the worrrrrrrrst.”
“I know, Tony.”
“And Clint only made it worseeeeee”
“I know, Tony.”
“And now they expect the rest of the team to put out public statements toooooooo”
“I know, Tony”
Clint was suddenly grateful to be sitting with Mom and Dad for a stern talking too; at least with Steve and Tony there wasn’t a risk of losing a testicle. Natasha was going to be FURIOUS.
And then Steve turned the Captain-America-is-dissapointed-in-you stare onto him and Clint wasn’t sure which he preferred.
“Now Clint,” First name. Ok. That was promising. “It’s not that we’re mad at you-“
“Speak for yourself” This is why Tony was Clint’s least favourite.
“And we know you had good intentions, but we still would have appreciated if you’d cleared the idea with us before you posted that video.”
Clint would have made a comment about how if he’d done that they would’ve said no, but Steve’s voice brooked no arguments.
“Sure. Yeah.” Clint gave the most awkward thumbs-up in the history of awkward thumbs-ups and sprinted out of the room before Tony could put his two cents in.
He puffed out a breath once he got to his floor.
And now to survive the wrath of the all-powerful Black Widow.