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Her steps were stopped suddenly, by nothing but a feather light touch she might not even have noticed had it been anyone but Kiyoko tugging on her sleeve.
Yachi's heart picked up pace with a hurried jump as she waited and a tiny seed of hope settled somewhere very deep inside of her.
There was about a 0.1% probability of one of the countless scenarios she had thought up in her head suddenly playing out in reality – and a very, very high chance that she had messed up somehow.
“Hitoka-chan – do you have a second?“
But this sounded suspiciously like the opening sentence of half of the tiny little daydreams Yachi tended to fall into. (It wasn't like she chose it – it simply … happened.)
“Y-yes.“
She was still sticking to the script. Oh Lord. Even though the stutter had not really been there anywhere, let alone the overwhelming urge to bolt from the situation instead of facing Kiyoko and listening to what she had to say.
When Yachi noticed the light dusting of red on Kiyoko's cheek, her entire brain short-circuited to a point where she couldn't process what Kiyoko wanted from her as she offered her something on her open palm. Yachi just gaped at it until Kiyoko cleared her throat.
“Uhm, I – I just started knotting bracelets. They're not that pretty yet, but – maybe, if you want – I made this one for you.“
For you. Made this … for you.
The words were a deadly strike, straight through the heart. She felt like her chest might explode with all the happiness bubbling up inside. Yachi folded her hands over her heart, as if to support it or calm it or something, opened her mouth – and failed to find the words. Any words.
When she had imagined Kiyoko doing things like these for her, in her tiny little dream bubbles whenever a lesson was particularly boring or she couldn't fall asleep fast enough, Yachi had never failed that badly to say something in return.
Several seconds of silence passed where Yachi still could not put into words what and how she felt at the moment, the tingling and the excited buzzing in every fiber, the gratefulness and the disbelief, so all she could do when Kiyoko was about to pull back was to reach out and hold her hand in place.
“No wait -”, she squeaked and her thought process screeched to a halt once more.
Oh. Oh.
Even occasionally brushing Kiyoko's hand had felt incredible – but this, this was a sensory overload. Her skin was so soft! Yachi wondered what it would feel like, to really lace their fingers and stay like that, holding hands like, like a couple might … and promptly sent the tiny people in her brain in even more disarray.
Really, if her brain was an office, then right now, there would be alarms blaring and the microwave on fire and papers flying around everywhere.
“So … so you'd accept it?”, Kiyoko asked, her voice quiet in a different kind of way than it normally was, as if she was … flustered. “I have one, too ...”
She raised her other hand, showing the same bracelet in the team colours there.
Kiyoko had made a matching bracelet … for her. For her. If they both wore them, anyone could see that they were friends. That for some reason, she, Yachi Hitoka, had befriended the most intelligent and beautiful and amazing girl in the entire school, city, possibly country. Maybe even the world. Who knew? It was hard to find someone as amazing as Kiyoko.
She was so happy, she had no idea how to handle it.
“It's so beautiful! I love it! I don't care that it doesn't look store bought! That makes it even more special! Thank you so much! It's so amazing! You are so amazing! It's incredible that you can do this! And that you'd make one for me! I'm so honoured! Thanks so much!”
When she closed her mouth, Yachi peeked at Kiyoko and smiled at her as wide as a smile would get.
Kiyoko pushed up her glasses, with a smile of her own.
“I-I'm glad you like it … but it's really not that great.”
“Yes it is! Honestly, thank you so, so much. Is it really okay for me to have it … ?”
“I wouldn't want anybody else to.”
Just like that, Yachi died.
Right there. On the spot. Somehow she was still standing, but Yachi knew she was actually dead. Covering her face with her hands, she didn't quite manage to keep in the embarrassing squealing noise, and stood there for a few heartbeats, breathing in and out. When she spread her fingers to look at Kiyoko again, she was smiling softly at her. That didn't help the with the dying part, at all.
“When you knot it around your wrist, you've got to make a wish. It'll come true when the bracelet falls off. … may I?”
Yachi held her breath, her heart beating an erratic beat when she gave up on shielding her heated face and offered her wrist to Kiyoko. The gentle brushes of the soft bracelet and Kiyoko's skin on hers made her feel dizzy and warm and giddy and so many things at once, it was really hard to handle. Nobody had ever taught her how to deal with such things.
Then again, who could have anticipated that Yachi would for some reason become close to the most wonderful person in school? Of course nobody had given her a handbook. There was no such thing, because Villager B and the Queen hanging out was not part of the game plan, and yet, here they were.
“Remember to make your wish.”
Oh! Yachi had nearly forgotten, but now her wish went through her like a flash of lightning, an unpredictable force that struck faster than she could react. Oh no. Now she had done it. There was no way of taking back a wish made, but that was bad, … right?
Would that wish really come true … ?
No, no! Of course not.
“There”, Kiyoko whispered, her hands lingering for a second before she let go. When she looked up from Yachi's wrist, there was a mischievous glint in her eyes and she was very, very close.
“What did you wish for?”
Yachi really couldn't explain what got into her. It was probably the fault of the people in her brain who had managed to set the entire office on fire and decided to abandon it entirely for now.
It was most definitely not her fault or her decision when she leaned forward with too much momentum, closed her eyes, and and pressed a kiss to Kiyoko's lips.
(It hadn't even been meant for her cheek or anything, no, Yachi couldn't lie to herself.)
The incredible rush of adrenaline and the butterfly explosion filled her for only moments before everything came crushing down on her. Yachi stumbled back, covered her lips (they were tingling and it felt far, far too nice) and stared at Kiyoko with wide eyes. Her friend looked just as baffled, and suddenly, Yachi was all too aware of what she had done.
She was messing up their friendship, rendering all the promises that bracelet held meaningless because she had weird urges and couldn't control herself and was a horrible, horrible person. Certainly, Kiyoko would hate her now.
“I'm so sorry!”, Yachi yelled, turned around and ran because there was nothing else in the world she could think of than to get away right now.
“Wait - ! Hitoka-chan!”
She would not be able to see the look in Kiyoko's eyes turn to disgust. She would never, ever be able to face her again. She didn't even deserve this bracelet.
For lack of better options, Yachi locked herself in a toilet stall and sat down on the closed lid.
As soon as she buried her face in her hands and drew in on herself more, it was impossible to keep the tears in. What was she doing? Why did she have to go and be greedy? Was the bracelet not enough? Was Kiyoko's friendship not precious enough?
Why did she have to want more? She should have just been happy with what she got in the first place -
“Hitoka-chan?”
Yachi went quiet immediately, but of course it was too late, Kiyoko already knew she was in here.
“I'm so, so sorry”, she cried. “Please don't hate me.”
When she took a deep breath, it was wet and gurgling, ugly noises escaping her. All of this had started out so nicely. Why did she have to go and mess it up?
“I could never hate you. Please, would you come out … ? I don't want to say this through a closed door ...”
For a split second, Yachi considered her chances of getting out of the small window without breaking her neck.
But no, it wasn't worth it. And Kiyoko had said she couldn't hate her, so … maybe they would be fine … ? It was all Yachi could hope for. She rubbed at her eyes and sniffled when she turned the lock, very carefully opening the door again.
Kiyoko's expression was soft and relieved and Yachi's heart was aching with the need to simply fall into her arms and hold on to her, begging her to never stop looking at her like that.
Yachi took another step, her heart still stuttering, her brain on fire and her eyes wet, and Kiyoko reached out and pulled her close. As if she had read her mind, Yachi thought, and didn't allow herself to hug her friend back. But she breathed in her scent, closed her eyes, and could feel the embrace soothe the pure chaos rampaging inside of her.
It was a weird thing, how one person could make you feel like you were falling to the ground fast and uncontrollably, but at the same time be your parachute.
Kiyoko gently ran her fingers through her hair, the touch sending shivers down Yachi's spine.
“Don't be sorry, please? I … I like you, too ...”
Yachi blinked.
Her heart probably kept beating in the meantime. Her body was still functioning. Blood was flowing and lots of stuff was happening that she knew about thanks to half-heartedly listening to biology lessons, even when her mind felt like drifting off most of the time lately.
The world kept spinning. Of course it did.
Just without her mind or her soul.
Because clearly she had been sucked into some weird wormhole in the universe. One where maybe, it rained spiders to make up for the great, impossible things that had been altered. Yachi was terrified of spiders. But the occasional spider downpour would be worth this alternate universe, wouldn't it?
Kiyoko let go of her slowly, so at first Yachi didn't realise, until her friend took a step back and the distance registered with a sudden ache.
“If - if you don't like m-me, that's … okay ...”, Kiyoko muttered, not really looking at her, but Yachi could see that her cheeks looked just as red as hers felt.
Oh!
“N-no! Wait! D-don't misunderstand, I - ! I very much like you! Like, a lot! Like … like like. I-if that's … what you … meant … ?” Her voice grew softer and softer, the last words barely whispered under her breath as her sudden bravery trickled from her grasp really quickly.
“Y-yes! That's … what I … meant ...”
Kiyoko clung to her own biceps with one hand, her arm like a shield in front of her. Yachi had never seen her posture anything but perfect, her back straight, her chin up, quietly observing the world from behind her glasses, her eyes awake and perceptive and alight.
It was … strange, seeing her like that. As if the world's rules had just … been turned upside down.
Kiyoko was flustered and had told her she … she … l-liked her … her of all people … so now the grass was probably blue … or pink, maybe pink, Yachi would like that …
“B-but … how?”, she blurted, covering her mouth too late.
Kiyoko looked up at that, something in her eyes sparking to life that captured Yachi so much, she actually missed that the other girl was speaking already and tuned in far too late, mentally scolding herself until the words registered and all thought processes stopped working yet again.
“- and you really lighten up the room around you! Wherever you go, people feel more cheerful and smile … You're always so positive and motivated and earnest! It's … it's very inspiring, and adorable …”
She would have probably said more, but whatever damage control was going on in Yachi's brain office, it wasn't effective in the slightest.
“C-could I kiss you again?!”, she blurted way too loudly. Oh God. Oh God. Oh no, what was she even thinking, this wasn't good, this wasn't good at all -
Kiyoko wasn't even looking at her anymore, she -
“That would be … really nice ...”
So somehow, through some miracle, their trembling hands found each other and their stuttered words and red cheeks didn't matter a thing when their lips met, clumsy and awkward, but wonderful, so very, very wonderful.
Maybe, if it was the right person, you didn't need to know how to kiss, Yachi thought. You didn't need to know anything. It would all fall into place.
When they parted again, Yachi's heart was far from calming down, her face still felt like she had been in the sun for too long, and her cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. The emotions inside of her were curling and spreading too fast, too powerful, too positive and warm to leave any room for doubt or worry anymore.
They didn't let go of each others hands.
“Do you … maybe want to get ice cream with me later … ?”
Kiyoko sounded as dazed as Yachi felt, like reality still hadn't come into touch with the plane of existence they had been knocked into.
Yachi nodded, since it felt like even if she tried to form words, they would simply turn into incoherent noises.
Or maybe, she would break the moment.
This tiny haven of pure happiness seemed fragile – even when, at the same time, her feelings seemed unwavering and untouchable, with the strength of an entire storm behind them, as if nothing would be able to force Kiyoko and her apart again.
The strange, contradicting feeling made it all the harder to think, so Yachi decided to let go of trying to trust her mind today, allowed herself to fall into the moment and taste this wonderful, weird, warped reality to the fullest.
She took a step forward and hugged Kiyoko this time, clung to her with all her might and buried her face in her neck.
Breathing in her scent and being so close to her made Yachi feel like on a roller coaster, in that very second when you were right on top of the world and about to tumble down, the tug in your belly just short of painful, the fear under your skin nothing but a mere touch because in the end, you knew you were safe.
Kiyoko wrapped her arms around her and they stayed like this, breathing and feeling and sharing their warmth.
Later, Yachi realised that holding Kiyoko's hand while they were walking down the streets was even more amazing than she had imagined. Her sweaty palms worried her, but Kiyoko didn't seem to mind, just kept holding on to her hand. Sometimes she brushed Yachi's with her thumb and the blonde girl had to bite her tongue so that she wouldn't make another embarrassing noise.
The beautiful, beautiful smile on Kiyoko's face never once wavered.
Too many times, Yachi nearly stumbled over dogs or kids or into street lamps because it was impossible not to look at Kiyoko when she was radiating happiness like that.
Then, Yachi's gaze fell on their entwined hands and the matching bracelets on their wrists.
“You, you know … my wish. It came true already.”
Kiyoko squeezed her hand and her words nearly made Yachi miss a step.
“ … mine did, too.”