Chapter Text
"I just don't know what to do," Steve says, palming his face and sighing fretfully. Bucky, sitting across from him, makes sympathetic noises as he drinks the rest of his beer. At this point Steve is pretty sure Bucky's just humoring him, because they - well, Steve has been going around in circles for the past three hours.
"Look, Stevie," Bucky says, setting down his empty bottle and leaning forward. "You've already told me a dozen times exactly why it doesn't make sense for you to bring Tony with you. You're going to be working long hours, you'll barely have any time to yourself, you're sharing a hotel room with Bruce, you're traveling in a car with three other people, and you know Tony is not going to want to sit at the table with you. You can't watch him and sign comic books at the same time, especially with such a large crowd. Just leave him home with me. Seriously, he'll be fine."
Steve frowns, toying with the peeling label on his beer. "I just don't know." It's only been six months since he officially adopted Tony; he honestly didn't think he would be asked to attend this convention, but his boss had someone drop out at the last minute and Steve would draw the next biggest attraction. It's in New York, which is a good eight hour drive from where they live.
And really, Steve knows deep down that Bucky is right. Realistically it doesn't make sense for him to drag Tony along. It's only going to end in tears on Tony's part and frustration on Steve's. But just thinking about having to tell Tony that Steve's going somewhere and that Tony can't come makes Steve want to cry. He's pretty sure Tony is only just getting to the point where he's accepted that Steve might not send him back to the orphanage. What if Steve leaving unravels all of their progress? He can't bear the thought of Tony going back to that sad, tearful little boy who thinks no one wants him.
"He'll be fine. Tony loves me. You know I'm his favorite uncle. I'll take good care of him. We'll have loads of fun. So much fun he won't even realize you're gone," Bucky says patiently.
"You're going to feed him McDonalds and let him stay up until 4am, aren't you."
Bucky smirks. "That's what favorite uncles are for."
"Jerk," Steve says, rolling his eyes, but he can't complain too much. Bucky's not lying; Tony really does adore him, which Steve will always be grateful for. He just wishes that the two of them didn't love teaming up to pull one over on him as much as they do.
"Just for that, I'm also going to feed him chocolate right before you come home."
"Don't you dare!"
Bucky just laughs at him and, in spite of himself, Steve cracks a grin in return. He drinks the remainder of his beer and then sets the empty bottle down on the table. He leaves in two days, which means it's past time that he explained things to Tony. The thought of doing it makes his heart ache already, but he doesn't have a choice. His boss has made it pretty clear that Steve's job is on the line: either he goes to the convention and puts in a good effort at spending time with the fans, or he no longer has a job. And given that Steve now has a mortgage to pay - he was so proud to be able to make the move to a new home with, and Tony loves his room so much - the choice is obvious.
They pay their tab and make their way out to the front of the bar, where Bucky stops a cab. Steve rehearses what he's going to say tomorrow morning the whole way home. Bucky shoots him a couple of worried looks, but doesn't press the issue. He must be concerned though, because he directs the cabbie to drop Steve off first. Steve hands Bucky his half of the fare, then gets out and wanders into the quiet house. He finds Darcy asleep on the couch, the television playing softly and Tony's baby monitor right beside her face.
"Darcy?" Steve whispers, giving her shoulder a gentle shake.
"Huh? What?" Darcy jerks awake, blinking. "Steve?"
"You feel asleep," Steve says.
"Oh shit. I was studying..." Darcy pushes herself up, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Is Tony in bed?"
Darcy nods, muffling a yawn. "Yeah. He's really get good with me. He went down so easy tonight."
"That's great. Here." Steve stuffs some money into her hand, ignores her protests that it's too much, and helps her gather her stuff together. Darcy is amazing with Tony, so patient and kind. No amount of money is enough, really. She's one of the few people Steve trusts with the most important thing in his life.
"I heard from Thor that you're going away. Did you want us to take Tony?" Darcy asks as she walks to the door.
Touched by the offer, Steve shakes his head. "I appreciate it, but Bucky has already offered. He said he'd stay here with Tony. I'm hoping that staying at the house will help."
"Maybe," Darcy says doubtfully, shifting her backpack. "Well, tell Bucky that if he needs back-up, we're just a phone call away."
"Thanks Darce," Steve says, meaning it. He really has the best friends in the whole world.
He stands at the door and watches her walk outside to her car, not leaving until she's backing down the driveway. Only then does he lock the door and move away, feet automatically taking him down the hall to the nursery. The door is only partially open. Steve nudges it open fully and looks in to see that Tony is sound asleep in the crib, laying on his back. His pacifier is in his mouth and he has his stuffed kitten held against his belly with one arm.
Steve smiles at the sight, tip-toeing inside to pull the blanket up around Tony's shoulders. He lingers for a moment, staring down at Tony. His life changed the day he adopted his Little for the first time. He'd never realized how much his life was missing until Tony came into it. Suddenly, everything Steve did had meaning. There was a reason to get up in the morning, and a reason to come home earlier at night when he had to go into the office. His heart never felt more full than when he pulled into the driveway and saw those big brown eyes staring at him from the living room window.
He kisses Tony's forehead and quietly slips out, heading to his bedroom. The beer helps him fall asleep, but it's restless at best and Steve is almost glad when he wakes up to the by now familiar sound of Tony crying. He stumbles out of bed and into the nursery, plucking the baby out of the crib and kissing Tony’s tears away. In a matter of moments, Tony is giggling instead.
“Daddy, no!” he says, pushing Steve’s face away. “Hungry!”
“You’re hungry, baby boy?” Steve asks, setting Tony down on the changing table. That’s a pleasure to hear. Some days Tony wakes up and has next to no interest in food. Getting him to eat on those days can be a challenge.
“Hungry!” Tony whines, kicking his legs. Steve skillfully dodges his feet and changes Tony’s diaper as quickly as possible, then scoops Tony up again.
“Okay. Then let’s go eat!”
When breakfast is over, and Tony has settled down on the couch with a bottle of milk, Steve walks over to sit next to him. His pulse quickens with nerves as he looks at the contented picture Tony makes. When he thinks back to how anxious Tony was when he first arrived, it’s like night and day. He drums his fingers on his knees, searching for the right words, and doesn’t even realize that Tony is watching him until a tiny foot pokes him in the leg.
“Daddy, what’s wrong?” Tony says quietly, peering up at him.
“Nothing’s wrong,” Steve says automatically.
Tony just looks at him, unconvinced. “Don’t lie to me. You always bounce you leg when something’s wrong.”
Steve abruptly stills his leg. “Uh – well – the thing is, honey, I have to go away for a few days. For work. There’s a comic convention and my boss tells me that I have to go. Uncle Bucky is going to stay here with you. I’ll only be gone for four days.” He watches Tony’s face anxiously.
“Four days?” Tony repeats, face blank.
“Yes. I leave on Tuesday and I’ll be back Friday night before you go to bed.”
“Daddy’s leaving,” Tony says in a very tiny voice. Tears start welling up in his eyes. The first sob is enough to make Steve blink back tears of his own.
“Tony, I’m sorry. I have to go. But it will be okay,” Steve says, reaching for him.
“No!”
Steve freezes, shocked to his core, as Tony yanks away so violently that he almost falls off of the couch. Tony has never pulled away from one of his hugs. From the first day they met, Tony’s sucked up affection like a sponge. He stares at Tony, devastated, as Tony gets up and toddles out of the room. The sound of his sobs echo behind him as Tony flees.
“Tony…” Steve whispers, staring at the doorway. He doesn’t know what to do. Should he give Tony space? Try to comfort him? Call Bucky?
“No!” Tony screams again from somewhere in the house, voice thick with tears, and Steve flinches even as his heart breaks.
He’s now officially sure he’s ruined any progress that Tony has made.