Chapter Text
This argument was ugly. Uglier than any other argument they’d ever had in the one year of friendship and the three years of dating.
Of course, all couples argue. Sometimes Hoseok would complain that Yoongi never put the dishes in the dishwasher as ‘they wouldn’t get done by themselves’ and Yoongi always mumbled ‘I wish’. Sometimes Yoongi would complain that Hoseok didn’t buy the right brand of water, although Hoseok always thought that was ridiculous.
“They all taste the same!” Hoseok would remark, looking up from his phone, “It’s water!”
“No, they don’t,” Yoongi would mutter, although he never fully described how one brand of water tasted better than all the others.
But this time, it wasn’t about dishes or water or any other trivial things that made them sound like a middle-aged married couple. This was serious.
Hoseok couldn’t remember how it had started. He tried to really focus on the order of events, but he didn’t know, the image was somewhat clouded. All he could remember is that Yoongi arrived home late again and had said something that rubbed Hoseok off the wrong way, something along the lines of “Hey, why are you still up?” Hoseok wasn’t sure if it was that because it seemed so casual and inoffensive that he didn’t understand why it had annoyed him.
Maybe it was because Hoseok was already frustrated because his dance studio. The rent and bills and salaries were due and there was barely enough money to make ends meet. No matter how much he stretched or cut down, there simply wasn’t enough for everything. He knew soon he’d need to take out a loan or close down, neither option seeming appealing. Going into debt was dangerous and closing down meant admitting to everyone, including Yoongi and himself, that he had failed to achieve his dream.
Hoseok had responded with something that ticked Yoongi off. Maybe something like “None of your business” which was an aggressive response that would seem unwarranted, but Hoseok was so tired and fed up with everything that even speaking felt like a enormous task.
He just wanted to sleep and wanted his problems to be all be fixed with sleep. He wanted to wake up and for the sun to be shining and for his studio to succeed and for his relationship with Yoongi to go back to how was a year or so ago, when they were still madly in love and made time for each other. However, sleep never seemed to fix anything because each morning, when he woke up, Hoseok’s hopes were dashed out of the window, his still studio failing to get any clients and Yoongi drifting further and further away each day.
Yoongi then mumbled a response and then Hoseok remembers what he said more clearly.
“Why you mumbling?” Hoseok took a deep breath, “Just speak up!”
That was a tendency Yoongi had. To mumble things. At first, Hoseok thought it was adorable, the way Yoongi’s mouth pouted and it made Yoongi seem so small and cute.
Now it often annoyed Hoseok because he just wanted Yoongi to speak up . If he had something to say, then he should just say it.
“I said that you’re just annoyed for no reason,” Yoongi said in a louder voice but still with a calm tone. He sounded dismissive and flippant, like Hoseok was a small boy who was sobbing about dropping his candy on the floor.
“No reason? My boyfriend always arrives so late it almost feels like he is dating his job! Not even, married to his job” Hoseok said, standing up from the living room table and making his way to Yoongi, who stood by the kitchen counter, his bag leaning against the bowl where the keys went. Hoseok noted that Yoongi looked tired, deep dark circles under his soft, cat-like eyes, his dark hair messy and greasy and his shirt wrinkled. He looked as tired as Hoseok was.
Hoseok has complained before about the late nights, in a softer way, trying to appeal to Yoongi’s emotions. Yoongi had to explain his reasoning as to why he needed to work late. It was to get a promotion that would give him a lot more free time and a salary increase, both things sounding very appealing to Hoseok and Yoongi.
But months and months had gone by and Hoseok was sick and tired of not seeing his Yoongi or spending time with him over a promotion that seemed increasingly unlikely to arrive.
“Hoseok, we’ve talked about this.” Yoongi sounded frustrated and defeated. Hoseok would usually give up then and ask for cuddles but this time he didn’t want to give up because it felt like things were at a critical point. Hoseok always thought they had good communication because they understood each other but now, now he m understood they didn’t and he was sick of avoiding this inevitable fight. So why not today?
“Yes, we did, and you still haven’t been promoted, which makes me question if you’re going to work over time forever expecting something that not going to come!” Hoseok said bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest. He saw the way the elder’s jaw clenched and sighed heavily, almost as if Hoseok was a nuisance.
“Hoseok, don’t be ridiculous. I’ll get the promotion soon enough.” Hoseok felt like now Yoongi was making his condescending tone very clear, too clear and Hoseok wasn’t appreciating it at all. He knew he wasn’t being ridiculous, that wanting to spend time as a couple was completely normal. Namjoon and Jin had busy schedules and Hoseok never missed the biweekly photos posted on Instagram that the couple took marking their date nights. Hoseok couldn’t even remember the last time he took a photo with Yoongi.
What made it worse is that Yoongi seemed to be missing the point it wasn’t about the promotion, or the late nights or the salaries. It was about them , or in actual fact, the very little that was left of them.
“Besides, you’re up anyway. It’s not like I disturbing your sleep,” Hoseok felt like laughing at such a weak response. He thought Yoongi would eventually admit that Hoseok was right, but that didn’t seem to be the case.
“Yeah, because going to sleep in an empty bed reminds me so well of the loving boyfriend I have.” Hoseok said, his hands gripping the other side of the kitchen counter, hoping that would alleviate some of the tension in his body.
Bedtime was always important to Hoseok. The intimacy of going to bed together and cuddling and whispering sweet nothings was more important to him than sex. He craved Yoongi’s warmth at the end of the end, his sculpted but warm hands petting the worries out of Hoseok head. At first, Yoongi had respected that, but soon enough, bedtime came and Yoongi wasn’t home. In fact, he arrived 1 or 2 hours later. And Hoseok couldn’t fall asleep without Yoongi by his side, so he was left to wait. By the time Yoongi’s side of the bed dipped and Hoseok felt his warm presence, there was no cuddling or sweet nothing or petting. Just sleep.
“Look, Hoseok, we’re adults . Adults have to prioritise what’s important and you know we need this promotion.” Yoongi was becoming more forceful, force feeding this flawed logic to Hoseok.
“Yes, Yoongi, we are adults but we should be able to see there is more to life than money or, or a goddamn promotion.” Hoseok pleaded. He felt like he was talking to a wall, unmoving and unbending. Was it so hard for Yoongi to try to understand his perspective? To try to imagine how lonely he feels?
“For fucks sake, what do you want me to do?” Yoongi’s tone was loud now, he sounded desperate, but not for the issue to be solved, but for Hoseok to shut up.
He sounded fed up but Hoseok felt it was unwarranted. He was the one that should be fed up with all this bullshit.
“I want you to quit chasing this dumb, shitty promotion that you won’t ever get and actually put some time into our relationship!” Hoseok found it incredible how he had to spell out the obvious. It never used to happen.
“You don’t do shit for me, for us , anymore” Hoseok rubbed his face and hugged his body. He could see by Yoongi’s expression that Yoongi at least recognised he was right. His eyes were wide open and he was staring at the counter.
Hoseok didn’t know what his next response would be, but for Hoseok, it would be decisive.
“Hoseok, let’s sleep, you’re both tired-” Yoongi reached for Hoseok’s hand.
Yoongi had failed the trial. Hoseok was done.
“No! I’m sick of you ignoring me and not giving me any attention. You’re always tired or at work. It’s like you don’t even care anymore!” Hoseok’s tone was loud, he was shouting, and from then on both men shouted and there was little control over the word spilt.
“For Christ’s sake, you know I care, of course I care-”
“Then why weren’t you at the inauguration of my studio? Why were you two hours late for my birthday party? Why haven’t we had a proper dates in months ? Because of your fucking work!” Hoseok was pacing back and forth, his anger flowing through his veins and he couldn’t keep still.
“Yes, Hoseok, because someone needs to provide for this household! And not chasing dreams like a fucking teenager!” Yoongi snapped and Hoseok felt everything around him crumble.
He felt so hurt. Like a knife had been jabbed in his stomach. He had been hesitant to open the studio in the first place but Yoongi had encouraged him, saying he would support him, so he didn’t need to get a loan from the bank. Hoseok did it and now Yoongi was throwing that in his face, like it was some impulsive, dumb decision. It made him feel so useless and pathetic. Like he depended on Yoongi.
The worst part is that is was true.
“The studio is failing.” Hoseok said through clenched teeth. Hoseok felt tears sting his eyes. “And you say that? Just like that?”
“The studio is failing?” Yoongi looked and was confused. Hoseok hadn’t told him the situation because of how pathetic he had felt and he still hoped that somehow he could manage the situation by himself.
“Yes, Yoongi, my business is failing.” Hoseok grabbed the bluntly honest papers full of dreadful figures from the table and thrown them in the kitchen counter. He was done .
“Look, see! The studio is failing, we are failing and I am sick of fighting for failing shit when you seem to just sit by, not moving a fucking muscle to try to fix things.”
Hoseok started crying and marched to their bedroom.
“That’s not true, you know that’s not true-” Yoongi pleaded, chasing Hoseok down the corridor, grabbing his wrist.
“I don’t know anything anymore.” Hoseok looked at Yoongi and saw how his heart broke at his words, but his heart was already broken, everything was already broken, so at least they could be on the same page about something.
“What are you doing?” Yoongi asked weakly as Hoseok picked up a duffle bag and started throwing clothes and other belongings inside.
“What the fuck does it look like?” Hoseok said bitterly through his tears. Hoseok could barely think or look straight, and he knew he was going to forget important things, but he had enough clothes for a week and some personal belongings and he needed to leave. The more he looked at Yoongi, the sicker he felt. Yoongi now represented everything broken in his life
“I’m leaving, Yoongi. Enjoy the house you provided for me. Now you can work here too. We’re done .” Hoseok opened the door and before he left, looked once more at Yoongi, “ Don’t contact me.”
And with that, Hoseok had slammed the door behind him, leaving the lost causes behind him. Or at least he hoped so.