Work Text:
“Retractable fangs.”
“Yes.”
“You have retractable fangs.”
“Yes.”
“Because you’re a vampire.”
“No, Blaine, because I like to spend my evenings designing new dental wear. Look, are you freaking out or not?”
“I’m… not sure yet. I’ve never had a boyfriend tell me he was a vampire before.”
Kurt sighed before standing up. “I should go.”
Blaine immediately shook his head, taking Kurt’s hand and tugging him back down to sit beside him. “Stay. Just, y’know, give me a minute. This isn’t quite how I thought the evening was going to go.”
“Oh really? So tell me, what were your plans for tonight?”
Blaine grinned, staring down at where his hand was still joined with Kurt’s. “I don’t know exactly. Homemade dinner, watch a few Friends episodes, maybe a little making out… I wasn’t expecting you to launch yourself across the table, throw the garlic bread out of the window, and then start hissing at me with pointy teeth.”
Kurt winced. “I’m really sorry about the hissing, it was just an automatic reaction to almost being poisoned. I normally have a better handle on things.”
“Well I should hope so, you work in a diner,” Blaine snorted. “You must come across garlic all the time! I don’t think your boss would appreciate you freaking the customers out with your fangs.”
“We live in New York City, I’m pretty sure fangs are one of the least freaky things the customers have had to deal with in their time here.”
Blaine bit his lip, before giving in and beginning to giggle. Once Kurt joined in, the giggles became full blown laughter, the men clinging weakly to one another as they struggled to stay upright, Blaine gasping for breath as Kurt howled. Soon it wasn’t the joke making them laugh, but the sheer absurdity of the situation. Every time Blaine thought he had enough of a handle on things to stop laughing, he’d catch sight of Kurt’s face and start all over again. It took a good fifteen minutes of sporadic giggle fits before they were both finally straight faced and sat together once more. During their laughter they’d moved closer together, until Blaine’s head was resting on Kurt’s chest. “Can I see them?”
Kurt froze. “The fangs?”
“Mmm, can I? I promise I’m not freaking out or anything, I just want to see them again.”
“Why would you want to- You have to be kidding me.”
“What?”
“You think it’s hot!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Blaine said hurriedly, but he could feel himself blushing.
“I can feel how fast your heart is beating. You think the fangs are hot.”
“I think you’re hot, fangs or no fangs.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, before carefully curling his lips back and unsheathing his fangs, tilting his head back slightly so Blaine could get the full effect of the light glinting off his sharp, white teeth. Blaine smiled, lifting a hand before glancing at Kurt’s eyes for reassurance. “Go ahead,” Kurt said softly. “I won’t hurt you, I promise. Vampires aren’t allowed into mortal realms until they’ve proven they can control themselves.”
“Mortal realms? So you’re not from Lima?” Blaine asked, gingerly pressing his fingertips against Kurt’s fangs before dropping his hand back to his lap, examining the droplet of blood that had formed on his index finger.
“My father was. My mother was a vampire, born in the dark realms and stayed there until she was a little over two centuries old. She fell in love with my Dad and moved to be with him, had me-”
“So you’re only half a vampire?”
“Yes. I alternated time in Lima with Dad and time in the dark realms, but because I’m only half I don’t have the bloodlust that the others do. I was allowed to stop visiting the dark realms when I was eight, shortly before my mother passed away.”
“Eight years old? Or… centuries?”
“I really am only twenty-three Blaine, don’t look so surprised. I age just like you do.”
Kurt looked more bemused than offended, so Blaine felt safe in asking, “Any other differences between vampires and halfs that I need to know about? I mean, the garlic thing obviously still applies so I won’t make that mistake again, and you have the fangs. Anything else?”
“This and that. I don’t need to drink blood to survive, but I do take some occasionally to keep in good health. Sunlight doesn’t kill me but I burn pretty easily, I have blood that circulates through my body, I can’t turn into a bat or any of that nonsense, mortals like to embellish their stories, but I don’t need to breathe as frequently as you do.”
“So always keep sunscreen to hand, no bat jokes, I might have to take more frequent breathing breaks than you do when we make out-”
Kurt seemed to be alternating between shock and confusion. “Why aren’t you running for the door?”
“Well it’s my apartment, my door, it wouldn’t make sense for me to leave.” Blaine kissed Kurt, feeling the fangs retract against his lips before Kurt responded. Pulling away, he smiled. “Besides, you’ve not done anything that requires the running. You said you won’t hurt me, and I believe you. But about the blood-”
Kurt immediately sat up straighter, turning Blaine so he was facing him instead of leaning back against him. “I get it from donations I swear, I would never hurt anyone, I don’t-”
“Kurt, calm down,” Blaine said. “I believe you. I was just thinking that if you ever decided you wanted to… I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed if you wanted to take it from me.”
Blaine was certain he’d never seen Kurt so pale or his pupils so wide, but his boyfriend managed to maintain some composure. “We’ll talk about it another time, I think this has been enough for tonight. I’m still waiting for you to panic when you realise this isn’t a dream.”
Standing, Blaine held out his hands to help Kurt up. “I keep telling you, I’m not going to panic. Now come on, we have a very urgent appointment in the bedroom.”
“We do?”
“We do. I want to show you just how okay I am with this whole thing, Little Nipper.”
“Little Nipper? Really?” Kurt smirked, before letting out a whimper as Blaine began to mouth along his neck, kissing under his jawline. “Okay I believe you, bedroom darling, come on. Maybe it’s time I demonstrate the more delightful side of a vampire boyfriend. Like just how beneficial a reduced need for breathing is when it comes to giving blowjobs.”