Chapter Text
The demon would not break him.
He'd been trapped in his prison for days at least, denied lyrium and food and haunted with images of her. It would come to him in her form, her beautiful lips parted, eyes half-closed with want as she leaned against the barrier, looking up at him in a way he knew his – no, not his - the real Solona never would. It showed him her, begging for his touch, moaning his name in truly obscene ways. Those illusions were easiest to break. He had never wanted her like that, save for his greatest moments of weakness.
Sometimes it would show him visions of a life they could never have, and those were so much worse.
A small cottage, a warm fire burning and Solona, cradling a baby he knew was theirs and smiling tenderly at Cullen. A mabari snuffling at his hand for his attention, but he couldn't take his eyes off his wife and child -
The First Enchanter's office, and Solona behind Irving's desk - no, not Irving's - it was hers. She greeted him with a smile, shyly congratulating him on promotion to Knight-Commander, and he realized with a surge of pride that there was no one to reprimand them for their relationship now -
The library, dimly lit, and Solona was crying in his arms. Cullen had the feeling this one was a real memory, her misery moving him to cradle her face in his hands. His gauntlets were gone, and he couldn't remember removing them, but he had to comfort her. Cullen leaned down, desperately wanting to console her with a kiss, silencing the part of him that was screaming that something was wrong, something-
He broke free of the vision, face hot with shame. He hadn't kissed her, but he wanted to. Fantasized about it. Feeling like this for a mage was his own fault, had caged him just as surely as the demon had. Cullen let himself be distracted from his purpose as a Templar, and he was suffering for that temptation now.
Slowly he started to hate her as much as he hated himself. Even if Amell wasn't responsible for the demon, it was what she could become, what she might have already become if she was even still alive. It laughed at his prayers, and he hated it and her even more. He was an idiot, being infatuated with a mage, of all things, and his weakness was costing him. But he could repent. He could be strong, now, to make up for his sins.
She appeared before him once more, but this vision was nothing like the others. Her robes were torn through battle, not in the scandalous ways the demon had presented her. There were spots where they were burned, and some of her hair had been signed. The still-new robes she earned through her Harrowing were bloody. He was unable to tell if the blood was hers or another's. Her eyes, though, lit up as she saw him, and she rushed to his prison, hands pressed against the barrier of light.
"Cullen," the demon said, breathless from exertion and seemingly exhausted. So it decided a new tactic was in order, then. No matter. He would not be swayed.
"Leave, demon," he spat, unnerved at the look of hurt on its face. It was getting better at impersonating her, making him feel guilty for wishing to drive it away. Perhaps it had realized the libidinous displays and fantasies would go nowhere with him; this vision, he could tell, would be his hardest to resist.
"What? Cullen, it's me," it said, the hint of desperation in its voice making him clench his fists. "It's Solona. I came to save you-"
His laugh was harsh, and the demon recoiled. It had to know the plan wasn't working - the pain in her face reassured him he was right.
"You think to tempt me this way, demon?" He demanded, the monster’s hurt and confusion fueling his anger. "She is at the bottom of the tower, with the surviving mages, or she is dead. She could not climb this far alone."
The look of absolute outrage on her face was almost enough to convince him it truly was Amell.
"Couldn't climb this far alone?" It said, voice shaking with fury. He'd never seen her so angry before. "I never even made it to the bottom of the tower, I hid, like a Maker-forsaken coward, and once the screaming stopped I remembered you were on duty up here, so I came to find you! I fought through abominations, I even killed a blood mage - I killed a human, Cullen - and now you think I'm a demon? Maker’s mercy, did you not think I'd have some motivation in trying to make sure you were safe!"
It was too convincing an act. Cullen closed his eyes and fell to his knees, beginning the Chant. She smacked the light barrier, hard, but he didn't look up.
"Look at me!" she commanded, voice edged with tears as she kicked the wall. "Cullen, I swear to the Maker, I risked my life to come find you, if you don't come with me –"
"Leave me be," he begged, not looking up at her. "It… It is too much like her. You could not break me before –"
He stopped himself, sparing a look to see if it was gone. Instead, the demon stood, face a perfect blend of horror and realization.
"You…" she exhaled, staring at him in shock, "The demons were tempting you with… me?"
"Don't play a fool," he implored as his voice cracked with emotion. "She is the only thing I've ever coveted, the only one you could – could…"
Shakily, she pressed her fingertips against the light barrier, her other hand covering her mouth. This version was too close, too much like her - he was going to - he couldn’t -
"Cullen…" she whispered, pressing closer to the light barrier. He could see tears in her eyes. "I'm so sorry… I… I can’t..." Eyes shut, she took a steadying breath and pulled herself together. "It – it doesn't matter for now," she said, sounding as though she wished to convinced herself as much as him. "I need to free you. I won't be able to make it back down on my own. I should be able to figure out how to break the-"
"What is this?" a voice asked from behind. Solona turned, back pressed against the barrier. The desire demon – Cullen realized it was the one who'd been tormenting him – surveyed the two of them, lazily running a hand up her side. "So, you've come to free him?"
"S-stay back," she said, but her voice was filled with terror.
The demon laughed. "Poor little girl. I know what you seek."
"S-stop!" she exclaimed, pressing further against the barrier. Cullen watched, helplessly, as the demon took on his form.
"You want your freedom," the demon purred with his voice, slowly approaching her, "And you want me."
"No," she said, clutching her staff tightly. The demon laughed, leaning one hand above her head against the barrier. Slowly it traced her jaw with his other hand, laughing as she flinched away.
"No?" It asked, and Cullen felt a flash of hatred for this monster wearing his face. "I know you've thought about it, love. Thought about asking Anders to help you escape, to bring me with you. We could run away together, go somewhere far off, like the Anderfels. Live together as husband and wife."
"Stop," she said, breath coming quickly, fear making her voice quiver.
"We could have children," Not-him told her, and Cullen felt as though he'd been punched. "The Chantry wouldn't take them from us."
Roughly, she shoved the demon away, and he began to laugh.
"Do you intend to fight me?" he taunted her.
"Yes," she replied, and the demon laughed harder.
"You and I both know you'll die," he said, smiling. "Why not live? I'll give you the life you want. It would be easy, to have the two of you escape now.”
"Solona," Cullen said, voice low and desperate, hatred cast aside at the thought that she was going to be killed in front of him. She turned to him, face bone white and eyes terrified, "Free me, I'll help you fight it –"
The demon moved with shocking alacrity, hand closed around Solona's neck in an instant. It pinned her to the barrier by her throat and Cullen watched her kick her legs, fingers scratching over the demon's hand.
"We can't have that, can we?" it asked, back to its female form. Solona struggled, taking awful, loud gasps for air, but the demon was clearly stronger. Cullen hit the light barrier, desperately calling upon every Templar power he had to try to end it. "I suppose I could give you one last chance," the demon said, squeezing her neck one last time before dropping her. "Would you like your freedom, to live your life with this Templar?"
Solona's response was a stonefist to the demon's middle. She cast Winter's Grasp and then a glpyh of paralysis, and Cullen could feel the same shift in the air from mana use to lifeforce he'd felt at the first blood mage attack.
Abomination, was his first thought, but then he realized that she wasn't slicing her wrists open, she was overexerting herself, powering her spells with her life, and she was going to die because she had nothing left in her and she hadn't been smart enough to leave.
Solona finished off the demon before it had a chance to free itself from her glyph. He watched as she collapsed face-down on the other side of the barrier, her breathing shallow and her eyes shut.
"Amell?" he asked, pounding against the light barrier. Her eyes flicked open. Unfocused, they flit to his face. She stared up at him with half-lidded eyes, still unable to move. "Amell!"
Cullen watched her eyes slip shut once more, feeling panic well up inside him.