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Wait...did I just...? OH MY GOD! I just won a skype call with RICHARD SPEIGHT JR?!
"JEN! HOLY SHIT! JEN!"
"What?! What's happening, Rose?" I try to take a deep breath and calm my racing heart so I can explain to Jennifer that I will soon be talking directly to Rich on Skype and I don't have a clue what to talk to him about.
I take a moment longer and explain to Jen what is happening and, like the good friend that she is, she is happy for me and wants all the details when I'm done.
"But, Jen...you KNOW how I am. What if I say something completely stupid to him?"
"Rose, you always say something crazy but never stupid. Don't be embarrassed, just talk to him like you talk to me and you'll be fine."
That's the problem, I think. I would never say some of those things intentionally to Rich, or any of the other people from Supernatural. We aren't friends, despite my wish to someday be best friends with Briana, Kim, and Ruth. Jen knows how I am, especially when I'm nervous and I feel like I am vibrating with nervous energy. I'm not really sure why I am THIS nervous though. I've had conversations with him face-to-face and I was not this nervous. When I mention it to Jen, she points out that normally I'm with other people in a group when talking to him. This will be one-on-one and I have nobody else there as a buffer.
Before I know it, my computer notifies me that I have an incoming Skype call. I take a deep breath and answer the call, immediately seeing Rich sitting on the other side of the computer. I can't help but grin and say hello in such a sugary sweet voice. It's like I can't hold back the need to not show my true self...the girl who talks like a well-educated sailer and has such a dirty mind that her friends have to help filter her in certain situations. I wish I had a friend here to help filter my dirty thoughts that immediately spring to mind. I, thankfully, refrain from saying any of these things to Rich.
Things start off well enough, talking about the weather and I specifically tell him how angry the fans were about how his character was killed off in the show...again. Rich asks what conventions I'll be going to in the coming year, if any. I tell him that I'll be attending the convention in a few months and of course, this is when things go awry.
"I'm excited about the con! But I do need to lose weight before then so that I like the way I look in the photos." As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I want to snatch them back up. Why say something like that? It seems like I am fishing for compliments or something. I mentally kick myself, but Rich takes it in stride like a champ.
"Oh, I'm sure you photograph well enough. And besides, Chris does some amazing work in those photo ops."
"Oh! Yes, Chris is a miracle-worker for sure. It doesn't really have anything to do with him, it's all me to be honest. But anyway..."
"We all feel that way about ourselves though. Do you know how often someone brings up a photo op with me to have me sign it for them and I look at it and just think I look awful?"
Before my brain catches up to my mouth, I say something that I am absolutely sure makes me blush so hard I must look like a tomato.
"Oh please! Rich, do you not listen to all of us thirsty bitches when we're around you?! We are NEVER disappointed with how you look." I stop, horrified at what I've just said and wait to see his reaction. He blinks and then laughs. I'm lucky that he has such a good sense of humor, I guess.
"Thirsty bitches...hahaha I forgot that was a term." Rich chuckles and thankfully, moves on to safer subjects.
Before I know it, Rich has to go and we are saying our goodbyes. He gives one last chuckle and says, "Thirsty bitches...I like that term. I may have to use that" and starts to stand.
"Thank you, Rich. I love you!" Yet again, feeling my face heat at the lack of filter. Just because you think something, does not mean you have to say it Rose! We disconnect the chat and I sit there thinking about what just happened. I realize, I forgot to ask him about Kings of Con and his album. Why would I have talked to him about such mundane, silly things as my losing weight rather than asking the actual questions I wanted to ask him?! Frustration burns in the back of my throat and I message Jen to let her know how things went.
"But you got him to laugh and even though I know you are annoyed at yourself, it sounds like you had a nice chat!" I think about what she's said and realize that even though I was shaking from anxiety when the call first started, by the end of it, I was so comfortable with Rich that I didn't even hesitate to say the "L word". Not that saying I loved him did me any favors, but still. I tell Jen that she is right and I should be looking at it her way. I send a quick tweet out saying how blown away I am at how easily Rich relaxed me during the call. I even have the lady balls to put in the tweet that I managed to call myself a 'thirsty bitch' to him.
Afterwards, I jump up and change clothes. I really was serious about losing weight and I leave my apartment to go for a run. After a quick run, I jump in the shower and as I'm getting out, I remember that my phone's battery was pretty low when I came back from my run. I place it on the charger and notice I have some new notifications. I open twitter and see that I have some replies to my tweet from earlier. Smiling, I look to see who has replied and as I do, my heart leaps its way into my throat. Rich has responded to my tweet! Holy shit!
"I thought you said 'Thursday bitches'! Thanks for the clarification." Oh my God, Rich is such a goofball. I grin and reply without any thought.
"You are like a glass of water in the desert, Richard." Because, for some reason, when I'm being inappropriate about Rich, I have to use his full name. I'm not entirely sure why. I can just imagine myself moaning his name as he's bringing me to climax and I guess when I think about it, that's what I would be moaning..."Richard" and not just "Rich". As the thought occurs to me, I feel my nipples harden and shivers run up my spine. I look down and see goosebumps along my arms. Rubbing my arms, I put my phone down. No use in focusing all my attention on that anymore. If Rich sees my reply, he doesn't acknowledge it...which I'm mostly thankful for because I am not well equipped in handling myself in that type of situation. I assume I am still single for many reasons, but one of them being that I have no clue how to flirt...I mean, really flirt without making it inappropriate or awkward. I find myself thinking too much about Rich now, and decide I really should head to bed.
That night, I dream very inappropriate things about myself and Rich and when I wake up feeling refreshed, I can't bring myself to feel any shame.