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Chuuya was not prepared for the suggestion (if it could even be called that—he thought it was more like a planned disaster) that Dazai had provided him earlier that day. Although, by now, he really shouldn’t be surprised by anything that comes out of the brunette’s mouth these days.
It seemed like a harmless enough idea when proposed: get Akutagawa and Atsushi drunk. Together. At the same time. Dazai had said it would be a “way for the two youngsters to get to know each other.” Which Chuuya had responded with the logical statement that they most likely wouldn’t remember any of the time they spent together the next morning. And then Dazai had just shrugged and said that it would be fun either way. That should have been his first clue to back out, but he found himself roped in like always because he really could never resist the bastard even when he wanted to.
Not to mention, he was under the impression he would be able to get drunk as well. He was livid later on in the evening to find he was sober.
The poor boys who had been dragged into the whole thing didn’t look like they wanted to be there in the bar any more than Chuuya wanted to be aware of his surroundings. But he swung his arm around Akutagawa’s shoulder, following Dazai’s lead as they both led the pair into a bar they wouldn’t get caught sneaking underage people in.
Now Chuuya knew Akutagawa and Atsushi had never touched a drink in their lives, despite not knowing admittedly anything else about the latter. They were as much virgin drinkers as a newborn baby. However, he did not expect them both to be completely wasted within two drinks.
He shouldn’t have agreed to this disaster.
Chuuya had no idea if Dazai had predicted this or not, but he decided not to ask out of mortification. Because apparently both Atsushi and Akutagawa were stupidly silly, stupidly affectionate drunks. Mostly with each other. When he walked into the bar earlier, the redhead was not prepared to see this just a half hour later.
“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,” the weretiger chanted, poking Akutagawa’s cheek with each word.
It took the young man a moment to response, lazily turning towards his (sort of) partner. “Yes?”
“We should… we should dance.”
The raven blinked at his companion before giving a single, definitive nod. They both stood up shakily and clung to each other as they swung back and forth, resembling dancing as much as a swaying aspen. They giggled like school children, twirling around like they didn’t have a care in the world, so obviously drunk it pained Chuuya to watch.
“Oi, shitty Dazai. What the fuck were you thinking?” the man hissed, glaring at the one responsible for all of this. “How did you think this was a good idea?”
“Oh, I didn’t think this was a good idea. I thought this was a fun idea. There’s a difference, chibi.” He raised his glass in a vague gesture before tilting his head back to swallow the rest of his drink.
The redhead rolled his eyes, gaze being drawn to the increasingly loud commotion over by the bar. He felt his shoulders slump in disappointment when he spotted the two youngsters that appeared to be having an argument with two men nearly twice their size. And oh god, Atsushi looked like he was about to cry any second now, and Akutagawa was putting on his best scary face even though he was wasted beyond belief.
“Oi, bandage freak. Your subordinates are picking fights. Come and help me.” Chuuya slapped his former partner’s calf as he got up, heading over to the commotion. “You’re the one who should be taking care of this. This was your idea.” But his grumbling only got him a hearty chuckle before the man decided to be responsible and get up to help.
Thankfully, they got there before anything escalated. It appeared one of the men had said something unpleasant to Atsushi, judging from his repetitive phrase of, “He was mean to me, Aku.” However, that could mean anything while he was in this state. Akutagawa looked about ready to tear into the guy even though he had absolutely no control over Rashomon at the moment. But their superiors got there before anything violent could happen. Chuuya dragged the boys away while Dazai explained that their companions were having their first drink and could not hold their liquor quite yet. And by some miracle, the two men seemed to forget about it once they went away.
“Aku, why was he so mean to me?” Atsushi whined as Dazai took his seat next to Chuuya, fishing for something in his pocket.
Akutagawa just shook his head and patted his companion’s back tenderly, returning his forthcoming hug. “You’re eyes are beautiful. They’re not weird.”
The weretiger hummed happily. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, jinko.”
Chuuya watched the display in horror; this was not what he signed up for. “Dazai—” He turned to his head to the other man and froze. “…Are you taking pictures?”
“Videoing actually, but don’t worry. I’ll be taking pictures throughout the night.”
“What is wrong with you?” The short mafioso snagged the phone out of the man’s hand before he could react. “Did you get them drunk just so you could have some blackmail?”
“Well, not entirely.” His answer made Chuuya roll his eyes. He grabbed his phone back, seeing the video had been stopped but not deleted. He slipped it into his pocket safely. “I wanted them to break the ice between them and see both of them drunk. This seemed like the most effective way.”
“Since when have you cared about being effective?”
“Okay, it was the most fun,” Dazai admitted while Chuuya rolled his eyes. “But you have to admit this is fun.”
“No, it is not. I would like to be drunk right now, but since I can’t trust you to get the lightweights home safely and in one piece, I have to be sober. I could not be having less fun right now.” He sighed and turned forward only to be greeted with an empty table. His eyes widened and a shout of Akutagawa’s name left his lips as soon as he didn’t see the boys in the vicinity.
He stood from his chair to search the area while Dazai gave a call of Atsushi’s name. He quickly spotted the swinging door leading outside, seeing the specific flutter of a black cape. “They’re outside. Come on!” Chuuya urged, hurrying towards the exit, leaving Dazai to take care of the bill, because he totally should.
Upon exiting the bar, he was greeted with the sight of Atsushi twirling in Akutagawa’s black, trench coat while the older man whistled. He was left in his black pants and dress shirt but had seemed to have acquired Atsushi’s tie which lazily circled his neck. They were both flushed down to their necks and grinning stupidly, a lazy but crazed look in their eyes.
Chuuya shook his head; this was going to be his whole night, wasn’t it?
“Ta da!” Atsushi thrust his arms into the air as if he had just done a performance. He was loudly applauded by Akutagawa, his claps resounding throughout the whole street.
“Jesus Christ…” Chuuya raised both of his hands to rub the sides of his temples. It took all he had not to break into a Corruption-fueled rage. “Dazai, we need to get these two off the street. Where’s your place?”
“Oh, we’re not going to my place. We’re heading to Atsushi’s. His is the closest.” Dazai grinned and raised his hand to reveal he had the silver-haired man’s keys in his palm. But the weretiger didn’t seem to mind, only turning his head back to shout a loud, enthusiastic call of the word, “Sleepover!” Akutagawa seemed happy with the development and simply followed his companion down the street with his arm thrown over the other.
Chuuya shook his head at the pair but decided to follow suit, heading down the street with Dazai at his side. “And why aren’t we going to your place?”
“Oh, because I don’t want them hurling all over my floor. And besides, it’ll be more interesting to see Akutagawa-kun’s reaction when he wakes up in the morning at Atsushi-kun’s place.”
The shorter man rolled his eyes as much as his skull allowed but followed the man’s suggestion. They reached the man-tiger’s dorm within thirty minutes. It would have taken much less time if the younger pair had been sober and able to walk correctly, but Chuuya supposed given the circumstances, they made relatively good time.
He, of course, had to watch Atsushi stumble about the front door, and he searched his person for the keys he did not have. He began to grow stressed as Akutagawa patted his back in reassurance. After a couple seconds, Dazai had regained himself from his laughter and opened the door for the pair. They thanked him enthusiastically as they stumbled into the apartment.
The redhead shook his head as he entered last, closing the door behind him. He was greeted with the sight of Dazai taking pictures of Shin Soukoku as they giggled, laying on the floor. It looked like they had fallen when they began to take off their shoes.
The male shook his head and nudged each of the young men with his foot as he passed them. “Get up, both of you. I want you two to drink some water before you pass out from the alcohol in your systems.”
Atsushi responded with a high pitched giggle, his hands thrown over his mouth. “Chuuya-san is so thoughtful.”
Akutagawa nodded solemnly. “Much better than our superior.”
“Agreed. I say we replace him with Chuuya-san. All in favor raise your hand.”
Dazai gasped, hand thrown over mouth dramatically when they both put up their hands. “Hey!”
The pair turned towards the brunette, appearing almost surprised. “Oh, Dazai-san!” Atsushi laughed. “I didn’t know you were here! We were just talking about you.”
“Oi! You two! Get over here!” Chuuya called from the room that Atsushi called a kitchen.
The drunken pair struggled to get out of their shoes and head over to where they were called, still embracing. They didn’t separate when they sat down, deciding upon occupying one chair, each of them almost falling off. When Chuuya thrust two glasses of water at each of them, they simply stared at the objects before the mafioso ordered them to drink.
Akutagawa gripped his glass before bringing it to his lips, chugging half of it in one go. He took another breath before finishing the rest of the liquid. He turned to see his companion was fussing over his drink, only taking one sip at a time. He instantly perked up when he saw Akutagawa watching him.
“Aku! Aku! Watch this!” he cheered, slapping partner’s arm. He grabbed his glass and swallowed a mouthful, tilting his head back. He then proceeded to gurgle the water, much to Chuuya’s disgust and Akutagawa’s amusement, causing him to snicker loudly. The redhead had never seen a more delightful look on his subordinate’s face.
But then the jinko choked, having swallowed water down the wrong pipe, causing Akutagawa to burst into laughter. Once Atsushi had gained control of his breathing, he pushed his companion away, protesting his amusement, but Akutagawa grabbed his arm, so they both ended up on the floor once again. Chuuya shook his head at the scene and made his way over to the couch to sit.
“Long night, chibi?” Dazai’s face appeared next to him, the ever present grin on his face.
Chuuya sneered with no real fury behind it. “Yeah, all because of you.”
“Aww, come on, small fry. You can’t deny this hasn’t been fun.”
The redhead looked over his shoulder at the other two, finding Atsushi rolling Akutagawa—who was curled up into a ball—back and forth on the floor similar to rocking a cradle. He frowned in sympathy as he heard Dazai take another picture of the two.
He turned back to relax against the admittedly comfortable sofa (even though it looked atrocious on the surface). “I suppose…,” he stated tiredly, closing his eyes.
“Chuuya!” his annoying partner called, irking the other. “You can’t fall asleep yet! The night has only just begun.”
“Unfortunately,” he mumbled from underneath his hat, having put it on his face so he wouldn’t have to look at the brunette. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d already be drunk. Instead, I’m bored out of my mind.”
“Hat rack,” Dazai purred, causing his former partner to turn slowly to look at him suspiciously. Chuuya swallowed when he saw how close the detective had become. “You don’t have to be bored.”
“I suppose you have a genius idea, don’t you?” The mafioso tried to sound nonchalant, but he could never act so cool when Dazai was this close and looking at him like that.
“I have a few ideas…” The man stretched out a hand to run along the clothed thigh of his childhood friend. Chuuya narrowed his eyes at the movement but allowed Dazai to move forward and press his lips against his own.
He never regretted kissing Dazai. Maybe getting caught but never the actual act. He was (annoyingly) a very good kisser. He felt a hand sift through his hair and grabbed just how he liked, and that, combined with a squeeze on his thigh, made him hum in pleasure. Just as he felt Dazai’s tongue along the seam of his lips to make their journey inside, an eager, chipper voice broke him out of it:
“What are you guys doing?”
Chuuya gasped in surprise, jerking away from Dazai, whipping his head towards the sound. Atsushi and Akutagawa were huddled behind the couch, staring at them over the top of it. The redhead sighed in disappointment; he had forgotten the pair was present.
But Dazai didn’t seem disturbed by the interruption. He answered cheerfully, “Kissing!” which only got Chuuya to choke at his bluntness.
“Hmm.” Akutagawa seemed to think long and hard about this answer, his eyebrows furrowed together in deep thought. He then abruptly turned to his current partner. “We should try it too, jinko.”
The male squinted in thought at the proposition but quickly nodded once. “We should.”
And Chuuya’s mouth dropped open in utter shock as they did just that. He gaped as they fell to the floor out of his sight, but he could still hear their sloppy kisses as their lips slid against each other clumsily. His face scrunched in disgust and covered his ears with his hands as Dazai began to fuss over how cute they were, beginning to start a video.
Chuuya was beginning to regret this whole night.
~*~
Atsushi woke up with his head pulsing.
He frowned at the pain. It wasn’t particularly painful (lord knows he’s been through worse), but its presence was still there, and it definitely wasn’t comfortable. He snuggled into his pillow to escape the pain.
Sighing in relaxation and refusing to open his eyes, he felt something beneath him shift. He squirmed to get more comfortable. He noticed that his body was twisted in a weird position, but he still refused to open his eyes and get up. He felt warmer than usual, and he didn’t plan to ruin this comfortable morning. Work was a far away responsibility at the moment.
But that familiar shifting started again—this time more around his arms than his waist—and his face scrunched in confusion at the movement. He dug his face into his pillow more firmly in an attempt to stop it and escape from whatever force was trying to rouse him.
The moving stopped for a minute before his pillow suddenly felt a lot firmer than usual. Atsushi grumbled but allowed his eyes to open, trying to figure out the source of his discomfort.
He was greeted with the color black. Which was weird because his pillow definitely wasn’t black. He blinked to get the sleep out of his eyes and to see more clearly. Come to think of it, this didn’t really seem like a pillow. It was way too firm… and round… and warm. And for some reason was connected to long slender legs.
Atsushi’s eyes burst open, and he jerked back so quickly he nearly fell off the couch he just realized he was on. And it seemed the person he had been sleeping on had the same idea, moving away from him in a burst of movement. The weretiger stared at the person for a moment—of course it had to be Akutagawa of all people—before a second became too long, and they both swiftly turned away.
They had both slept on the couch. From what Atsushi had felt, it seemed like Akutagawa had his head and arms in his lap while he had been resting along his backside, sideways. Which meant that his “pillow” had been…
Atsushi’s face burst into color at the thought, and he thought he might pass out from being so lightheaded. He brought a hand up to his face and blinked when black came into his vision. Why on Earth was he wearing Akutagawa’s coat?
A short cough shook him out of his thoughts, and he quickly clamored out of the item of clothing, holding it out towards his partner. “Um… h-here.”
He saw Akutagawa reached for the coat and slip it on quickly, and he was comforted by the fact that his face was just as red as his own. They fell into tense silence, hardly moving, stubbornly looking away from each other. When Atsushi finally had the courage to turn to look at the raven, he found Akutagawa had the same idea, and they both wrenched their eyes away from each other.
They sat in silence once more, and it felt like a giant weight was pushing down on their shoulders, urging them to speak. Finally, Atsushi did.
“Uh…” He coughed awkwardly to clear his throat. “What—What happened last night?”
Akutagawa didn’t answer for a few moments, but he finally forced out, “Don’t know. I think we got drunk.”
“Ah,” Atsushi said lamely. “That… makes sense. Did we… did we do something?”
It was a perfectly logical question. They had fallen asleep all over each other on the couch. It was only normal to question what they had done together while intoxicated. What had happened between them.
“I… don’t know. I don’t really remember anything from before.”
“Me neither.” They were forced into another silence. “…So nothing happened?” Atsushi questioned, waiting for Akutagawa’s confirmation.
“Yeah,” he agreed before a few coughs made themselves known. “Nothing happened. We were drunk. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah,” Atsushi’s voice wavered despite him not wanting it to. “We were drunk.”
“Hey, lovebirds! ”
A loud, energetic voice interrupted their third silence as Dazai entered the room from the hall, causing both of them to jerk upright violently. “You guys are finally up!”
“‘Lovebirds’?” the partners questioned in sync, fear creeping into their voices.
“Yeah! Don’t you guys remember last night? You two were all over each other!”
Atsushi flushed while Akutagawa tried to cover his cheeks with the back of his hand. “He’s probably lying, jinko. Don’t trust what he says.”
“R-Right!”
“Oh, ho?” Dazai leaned forward towards the two bringing his phone into view. A video began to play with a tap of his finger. Immediately the room was filled with the sound of lips against each other as the pair stared at the video in horror.
Atsushi’s hands flew up to cover most of his face, but his fingers were spread enough to give him a slightly glimpse of what was on the screen. Akutagawa, however, looked as still as a stone statue, eyes blown open wide with shock.
“Hey, mackerel, where is the—What on Earth are you doing?! You’re showing them the video?!”
“Huh?” The brunette looked back at his partner. “Of course, Chuuya! What good is blackmail if they don’t know I have it?”
“Jinko.”
“…Yes?”
“We have to get that phone.”
“Agreed.”
“Even if we have to kill Dazai-san.”
“Yes.”
“Ha?” Said person turned around. “What’s this about killing me?”
And so began the chase (or really the chaos) for Dazai’s phone and mostly the wreckage of Atsushi’s home. When Kyouka came to check out the commotion, having stayed with Yosano for the night per Dazai’s advisement, she found the four men in equal stages of distress.
Dazai was laying face first into the floor with Chuuya’s foot on the back of his head, keeping him there. The shorter man was yelling about blackmail and how he should most definitely not have sent backup files of something to himself if he didn’t want to get hurt by his subordinates. The Port Mafia member she hated was just laying on the floor, face pressed into the hardwood, looking about a dead and done as she had ever seen him. And Atsushi had his arms curled around his knees that were pressed to his chest with what appeared to be tears in his eyes.
When she caught his eye, he opened his mouth to speak:
“Don’t ask… please just don’t ask.”