Work Text:
Jungkook prided himself on being a good student--or at least most of the time. He liked to think that he built good relations with his teachers, and he liked to think that he was entitled to help them out, too.
Looking out of the cafeteria window, his eyes caught sight of two teachers walking side by side, heads angled towards each other as they talked. The taller of the two was smiling broadly while the other was gesturing wildly with his hands.
Case in point: The teachers of literature and history, respectively: Mr. Kim and Mr. Kim. Disasters, if Jungkook ever saw them, and in desperate need of an intervention.
And, oh, Jungkook was ready to intervene.
So, it was with an air of importance in which Jungkook leisurely walked up to a lunch table, cleared his throat, and slammed down his lunch tray onto the table, causing Jimin to jump. “Mr. Kim and Mr. Kim,” he announced, “are in love.”
Taehyung started choking on his water. Jimin raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Nah, they’re definitely just fucking,” he decided, while thumping Taehyung on the back rhythmically.
“Please,” Taehyung gasped, “they’re like our dads.”
“They’re in love,” Jungkook said. “And they’re oblivious and it’s my job as a student to ensure my teachers stop flirting for the sake of my education.”
“You’re not gonna set them up.” Horror slowly dawned on Taehyung’s face.
“I’m gonna set them up.”
Jimin facepalmed. “Jungkook,” he sighed. “This is even worse an idea than when you tried to jump out of the third floor window to escape your math final.”
“I would’ve done it if I knew how to unlock the windows,” Jungkook sulked, chewing on his straw.
Jimin exchanged an exasperated glance with Taehyung, who shrugged. “I don’t know if this is a good idea,” he said doubtfully. “After all, Jungkook is possibly the worst choice for matchmaker. He can’t even flirt.”
“Of course I can,” Jungkook said loftily. “Remember last time?”
“You asked him if he came here often and when he said no you burst into tears,” Jimin said flatly.
“A rhetorical appeal to pathos,” Jungkook replied, closing his eyes to relish in his own intellectual superiority. “It was a powerful approach.”
“He’s gonna get us suspended,” Taehyung said to Jimin.
PLAN A
After lunch it was, conveniently for Jungkook, literature class.
“I’ve never regretted taking a class with you more,” Jimin despaired. Jungkook was ahead of the curve in a few of his classes, which was why he took some with Jimin and Taehyung, who were a year above. Jungkook delighted in this. He liked the air of mystery it bought him with his classmates, since no one could tell whether he was top of class or ranked dead last.
Kim Namjoon, blissfully aware of what his students were plotting, walked into class slightly late, glasses crooked. “Hi, everyone.” He smiled sunnily at his students, depositing a stack of papers on his desk. Jungkook caught sight of essay prompts and grimaced. Maybe his teacher really didn’t deserve a nice date.
Jungkook was dimly aware of Jimin and Taehyung eyeing him as Namjoon scrawled the date on the board, but when Namjoon cleared his throat, they snapped to attention. Jimin had his pen poised for notes and Taehyung was opening his book to the right chapter.
“I assume you’ve all read the most recent chapter of Demian,” Namjoon was starting, “and I’d like to debrief it’s basic plot points before we jump into analysis.” Namjoon was the only teacher Jungkook had who could make any book interesting.
Jungkook poked Taehyung with his pencil and leaned over to whisper, “What’s a Demian?”
“The book we’ve been reading for the past week?” Taehyung replied, incredulous.
Jungkook shrugged. Did people truly do their homework? In this economy?
“I understand tonight’s chapter might have been a little difficult,” Namjoon continued, flipping through his own copy, “as Hesse goes deep into symbolism with that one. Are there any questions?”
The class was silent. “No one?” Namjoon asked, looking a little disappointed.
Jungkook shot his hand up in the air. Jimin sank down in his chair, already cringing.
Namjoon smiled. “Jungkook?”
“Your pants look nice, Mr. Kim,” Jungkook said, all in one breath.
Namjoon looked surprised. “Thank you, Jungkook, they're actually ne-”
“But they would look better,” Jungkook continued, louder, “on other-Mr. Kim’s floor.” Jimin covered his face, mortified. Taehyung had to slam his head down on his desk to suppress his laughter. A few of his classmates turned to stare at him, incredulous.
Namjoon squinted his eyes. “I’m afraid I don’t understand how this is relevant to the lesson,” he said slowly. “Do you need me to go over the main themes again?”
“Oh, that’s not necessary--” Jungkook said weakly.
“All you have to do is ask, Jungkook,” Namjoon exclaimed. “So Demian delves into the psychoanalyzation of good versus evil, as well as coming of age and the struggles one faces in entering adulthood. It also comments on the idea of free will and individualism, which is heavily shown in today’s chapter.”
“I was just commenting on the homoerotic subtext,” Jungkook said tiredly.
Namjoon lit up. “Wonderful insight! I was hoping a student would notice the parallels between Beatrice and Demian--both seen as ideal types for Sinclair, although while Beatrice is an infatuation, Demian is more real, signifying a deeper attachment for--”
Jungkook groaned and looked up at the clock. Class had barely started, and, knowing his teacher, he could lecture for the entire of class. Perhaps, he thought dejectedly, while Namjoon began to discuss heteronormativity in classical studies, Seokjin would receive his pickup lines better.
“That went well,” Taehyung snickered. They were in chemistry now, mindlessly working on stoichiometry problems at their table. “Do you need me to go over the main themes again? God, he’s even more dense than you.”
“Shut up,” Jungkook complained. “Did you have any better ideas?”
“Anything would be better than talking about his pants,” Jimin scoffed, flipping through his notes. They were unnecessarily color-coded. “Please tell me you have something better for Mr. Kim.”
“I’ve got a whole list of pick-up lines,” Jungkook bragged. “They got me rejected from at least six people this year.”
“This is making me want to drink a vial of nitric acid,” Taehyung sighed.
“This isn’t social hour.” Yoongi called from his desk. The chemistry teacher was half monitoring his class as they worked, half watching some basketball anime on his computer. “Unless you’re ready to take that test now, I should see you reviewing.”
“Sorry,” Jungkook mumbled, ducking his head. Min Yoongi could be a strict teacher, except during labs, in which he’d blow up whatever he could get his hands on. Jungkook wasn’t quite sure if it was legal, but who was complaining? "Anyway," he continued lowly, "you'll see what I have planned next."
After chemistry was, conveniently, history class. It wasn’t so much the subject itself Jungkook enjoyed, but rather the teacher.
For such similar subjects of history and literature, Seokjin and Namjoon were distinctly different. Seokjin was already in his seat as students trickled in, typing at his computer. On his desk sat a mug that read #1 dad teacher, with “teacher” scrawled on hastily in sharpie. Above him was a banner last year’s students had lovingly put together--a pride flag with SEOKJIN GAY written in bold letters. A box of stage props was perched on the edge of the desk, with stage props such as fake swords and capes stuffed inside. Seokjin also taught drama, a class Taehyung took, and Jungkook had heard of absolutely batshit things happening in that class.
“Be careful with Mr. Kim,” Jimin said to Jungkook. “If you piss him off, we’ll be stuck with imposible test questions.”
“Mr. Kim’s not that petty,” Jungkook objected.
“When the art department’s funds were cut, he hacked into the loudspeakers and had audio of Thoreau's Civil Disobedience play for the duration of the morning,” Jimin reminded him.
“Very true,” Jungkook condeded.
“Order in the court!” Jungkook jumped as Seokjin banged the hilt of a sword on his desk, effectively shutting the class up. “I don’t get paid enough to deal with you little gremlins.”
“Can we report you for saying that?” a student asked from the back of the room.
“Administration is so sick of me they blacklisted my email,” Seokjin said cheerfully. “I doubt they want to hear anything about me.” He cleared his throat, hooking up his computer to the projector so a slideshow was showing on the whiteboard. Seokjin’s powerpoint presentations were riddled with outdated history memes and a different transition on every slide. “Anyways!" He clapped his hands. "Who's ready for history? Today we’re learning about the division of Korean following the Yalta conference, and related events.”
Despite Seokjin being an engaging teacher--walking around the classroom animatedly and teaching with fun anecdotes and jokes--Jungkook still felt his mind drift as it waited for the perfect opportunity to spring his plan.
There was a lull in Seokjin’s teaching in which he set down his clicker to reach for his coffee, and Jungkook took it as an opening.
“Mr. Kim!” he called.
Seokjin sipped his coffee. “Raise your hand or I eat your kneecaps.”
Jungkook dutifully raised his hand. “I have a question,” he began. Some students who had been in literature with them earlier were looking up eagerly. “Did it hurt?”
Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows. “Hurt?”
“When you fell for Mr. Kim,” Jungkook finished expectantly.
Seokjin looked startled for a moment, but then gave a long-suffering sigh and took a larger gulp of his coffee. “I didn’t teach you to have such awful pick-up lines,” he said gravely. “Surely there’s something wrong with my curriculum.”
Jungkook deflated, disappointed, as Seokjin smoothly continued on with his lesson. He should’ve expected this--Seokjin’s classes were barely-contained chaos, and what he said was hardly considered strange, compared to what Seokjin himself threw around.
Halfway through class, there was a tentative knock on the door. Seokjin paused his lesson as Namjoon poked his head in. Jungkook sat up, eyes darting between the two teachers. “Sorry to interrupt,” Namjoon started apologetically.
“Ah, Mr. Kim,” Seokjin squinted up at Namjoon. “What do you need?”
“Your drama class used some of the Romeo and Juliet books,” Namjoon replied. “I need them for my first years.”
Seokjin clicked his tongue. “And to teach it incorrectly, I presume?”
Namjoon looked offended. “I don’t teach it incorrectly! Just because you teach your kids to hit each other with plastic swords while I prefer to teach the play's deeper meaning doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”
“I do bite my thumb, sir,” Seokjin quoted, and proceeded to bite his thumb and stare Namjoon in the eye.
“This has weird sexual energy,” Taehyung whispered as Namjoon complained about how it doesn’t even make sense to use that quote now.
“They’d probably have sex to The Odyssey audiobook,” Jimin added sagely and Taehyung hit him with his folder.
“Save the fighting for after school,” Seokjin called mildly. He had gotten up during the midst of things and had started to rifle through his shelves.
“Why are you three always in the same class?” Namjoon said affectionately, shaking his head.
“We’re soulmates,” Taehyung said, at the same time Jimin replied, “Blackmail.”
“I always get the weirdest students,” Seokjin muttered, depositing a hefty stack of books into Namjoon’s arms. “Bring those back by the end of the day, okay?”
“Of course. I’ll see you later,” Namjoon said, and smiled a goofy, totally-in-love smile.
“Yeah, sure,” Seokjin said, mirroring his smile. It was disgusting.
When Namjoon left and the door clattered shut, Seokjin turned to Jimin and contemplatively said, “Well, I’m not sure it would be The Odyssey exactly…”
"For the record," Jungkook muttered, "I don't call this a defeat."
“I feel like our students have gotten weirder,” Seokjin mused to Namjoon as they walked out of the building. “Jungkook’s wingmanning for you better than Hoseok has ever.”
“Don’t jinx it,” Namjoon warned him. “This is the most that kid’s ever participated all year.”
Seokjin huffed out a laugh, shouldering his bag. “God, I love this job. Should we head out for coffee then?”
Namjoon smiled. “Sounds perfect.”
PLAN B
“We need to be more subtle about this.” It was after school, the three gathered in the library with history textbooks strewn around them. Jimin was gesturing with a pen, the notes he had been writing forgotten. “Your method was so crude, Jungkook. Of course that wasn’t going to do anything.”
Jungkook glanced over at the librarian, but she seemed absorbed in shelving books. “Do you have anything better?” he shot back.
“I do, actually,” Jimin said smugly and Taehyung leaned forward, interested. “Y’all know how I’m class president, right?”
“You never shut up about it,” Taehyung answered.
“I’m coordinating the dance this year,” Jimin steamrolled past him, “and I roped Mr. Kim and Mr. Kim into chaperoning.”
Jungkook sat back in his seat, impressed. “You didn’t.”
“This is the perfect opportunity to get them to dance together,” Jimin continued gleefully. “I know a school dance isn’t inherently romantic but...it’s the best we got.”
“So we convince them to dance or some shit,” Taehyung said easily, “and they realize their feelings and boom. No more pining in the hallways.”
“It’s not like I can attend, though,” Jungkook mused, relieved despite himself. “I’m not in your year.”
“You can’t escape!” Taehyung ruffled Jungkook’s hair. “We’re taking you as our date.”
Jungkook slammed back a banana milk he had snuck in. It was going to be a long night.
While the dance may be helping his teachers, it definitely was not helping Jungkook’s own problems. Sure, he was able to swallow down his gaping crush on his two friends most of the time, but seeing them dressed up nicely in fitted suits was not helping.
“Jungkook, you look so nice!” Jimin cooed, resting his hands on Jungkook’s shoulders and smoothing down his jacket.
“Thanks,” Jungkook said weakly. Jimin’s makeup was perfectly done and his touch was lighting up every cell in Jungkook’s body.
“You owe me at least one dance,” Taehyung reminded him. His hair was pushed up over his forehead and his lips were colored red and Jungkook wanted him to just tone down the etherealness for the sake of his life.
“Yeah, sure.” Jungkook forced out a laugh. “Dancing. Like two good bros. Ha ha.”
“You’re so odd, Jungkookie.” Jimin shook his head and slipped his hand into Jungkook’s. “Let’s head inside.”
Dim lighting and loud music met them when they entered. It was crowded, full of students talking and dancing. Jungkook grimaced a little. Not exactly his favorite type of scene. He scanned the room for Namjoon and Seokjin, but his eyes on landed on a different familiar face.
“Mr. Jung!” Jungkook bounced up and down. “You’re here too?”
“‘Course I am.” Hoseok was one of Jungkook’s favorite teachers. He had agreed to be the presiding teacher for the anime club Jungkook and Taehyung had started (it had a proud two members) despite not knowing what the fuck an anime was. He taught calculus, and Jungkook hated how fun he made it. Tests came back with stickers on it, candy was given out for answering questions, and sometimes he’d breakdance in the middle of class, if one asked nicely enough. “It was either myself or Mr. Min and god knows he doesn’t want to be here.”
Rumor had it that Hoseok and Yoongi were dating. Jungkook liked to say rumor to give the two the benefit of the doubt but they weren’t exactly subtle about it.
“There are a few other chaperones too,” Jimin said carefully.
“Mm.” Hoseok nodded. “Mr. Kim and Mr. Kim are off somewhere. They arrived a little early to help set up.”
“Do you know where they are now?” Taehyung asked casually. “I haven’t seen them around.”
Hoseok shook his head. “No, but I’m sure they’re somewhere together.”
“Ah, okay,” Jungkook said, a little disappointed. “See you around then, Mr. Jung. I'll come by on Monday for extra help."
“That’s so productive of you, Jungkook!” Hoseok beamed and withdrew something yellow and shiny from within his jacket. “Gold star!”
“We’re not in kindergarten,” Jungkook said, but took it anyway.
“Validation is desirable no matter the age,” Hoseok replied cheerily. “Have fun tonight, okay?"
“I wanted a gold star,” Jimin muttered sullenly as Jungkook steered him away.
Although Jimin wanted to track down Namjoon and Seokjin and Taehyung insisted on dancing, Jungkook was adamant about checking out the food table. And Jungkook liked to pride himself on his puppy eyes, which was why he was currently stuffing his fourth cookie into his mouth.
“I’m starting to think this was your only incentive for coming,” Jimin sighed.
“It’s food.” Jungkook swallowed his mouthful. “I’m a growing boy and in front of me is a table of free snacks. What else am I gonna do?”
“Now that,” a familiar voice said appreciatively, “is my student.”
“Mr. Kim?” Jungkook whirled around to see both Mr. Kims standing behind him, dressed in matching outfits. Oblivious.
“Hey, Jungkook.” Namjoon waved. “Finished that essay due next class?”
Jungkook almost had a heart attack. “Uh--”
Namjoon laughed. “Just kidding. You didn’t have any homework tonight. Enjoying this dance?”
“It’s all right,” Taehyung swiftly answered for Jungkook, who was still trying to recover from his near heart attack. “How’s chaperoning?”
“Caught a kid trying to spike the punch,” Seokjin offered. “Reminds me of my own high school days.”
“I can’t imagine you two in high school,” Jungkook admitted. Seokjin would definitely be a nerd--or possibly a prep. Or maybe a jock. Or goth. Or, fuck, all of the above.
“I had an interesting high school past,” Namjoon said mysteriously. Jungkook decided he was better off not knowing that the entire student population knew about his old mixtape under the name Runch Randa. “But, yes, high school dances were always a ride.”
“I bet you danced better than us,” Jimin offered. "Wonder how that looked like." He winked at Jimin and Jungkook
Namjoon nudged Seokjin. “We should show them how it’s done.”
Seokjin laughed, and Jungkook thought he was going to brush it off, until he turned to face Namjoon. “Kim Namjoon,” Seokjin drawled, eyebrow cocked. “Would you take this dance with me?” He offered Namjoon his hand, a slight grin on his face.
Jungkook's eyes widened as Namjoon gave an exaggerated bow. “It would be my honor.”
“It’s happening,” Jimin whispered excitedly.
Namjoon’s hands were in Seokjin’s and they were grinning at each other as they led each other to the room's center and they were about to dance, Jungkook could feel it in his bones--
And then Namjoon snatched his hands back, and said, horrified, “Those students aren’t a foot apart!”
Seokjin followed his gaze to the dance floor and his eyebrows shot up. “There’s no grinding in my puritanical household,” he seethed, and followed Namjoon to bust some poor couple.
Right. Jungkook had forgotten exactly why chaperones were there.
“I’m starting to think,” Taehyung said slowly, “they’re just against romance.”
“These kids need to be kept in check,” Namjoon muttered disapprovingly. “They’re acting out all over the place, I can’t believe--oh my god is that a flask?”
“Shh.” Seokjin took a swig before secretly pocketing it. “Don’t get me fired.”
Namjoon glanced furtively around for witnesses, but no one seemed to have noticed them. “You’re expected to be a role model,” he hissed.
“I’m also expected to get through this night,” Seokjin pointed out, “and I think I need alcohol to do so.”
“Oh my god,” Namjoon groaned. “I can’t take you anywhere.”
“So,” Seokjin said, “are we not hitting up that gay bar tomorrow night then?”
PLAN C
Jungkook added a tasteful stroke to his painting and tilted his head contemplatively. Pablo Picasso was fucking shaking in his grave. He pursed his lips, adding a few other small details--
“Jungkook!” Jungkook jolted as someone grabbed his shoulder and his brush slipped and left a long red mark on the paper.
“Oops.” Taehyung stepped back, sheepish. “Did I ruin it?”
“It looks better this way,” Jungkook said mournfully, scrapping his third try of an artistic rendition of Sonic the Hedgehog. “What are you two doing here? How did you even get here?”
“The art teacher asked if we belonged in this class and we just said yes.” Jimin shrugged. “She believed us.”
“Unsurprising,” Jungkook sighed. “What’s up?”
“Taehyung wanted to tell us something,” Jimin replied, giving a little shrug. He nodded to Taehyung. “Go on, then.”
“I’ve been thinking,” Taehyung started and Jungkook shot a terrified look to Jimin. “We’ve been to complacent with Mr. and Mr. Kim. Pick-up lines? Basic. School dance? Boring. This calls for drastic measures.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “So what do you suggest?”
Taehyung dangled keys in Jungkook’s face. “We lock them in a closet.”
“How did you get that?” Jimin yelped at the same time Jungkook shrieked, “What the fuck?”
Taehyung crossed his arms. “It’s a good idea! It works in all the kdramas,” he argued.
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Because that’s such a credible source.”
“You base all your actions on shoujo manga.”
Jungkook opened his mouth then closed it again. “Point taken. Please continue.”
“They usually grade papers together after school,” Taehyung said, “So we get them into the closet, lock them up for a decent chunk of time and voila. They’ll be forced to reveal their feelings, end credits start rolling, and we’re the heroes of this school.”
“Damn, Taehyung." Jungkook ran a hand through his hair, impressed. "Didn’t think you had this in you."
“I really don’t want an in-school suspension with you two again,” Jimin despaired. “Do you know how much sweet-talking it took to get me re-elected?”
“Jungkook and I can do it if you’re too scared.” Taehyung cocked his head. “We’ll do it during anime club after school. I already told Mr. Jung it was canceled today, so he won’t come.”
Jimin looked to Jungkook. “You’re in?”
Jungkook tapped his paintbrush on his chin--and immediately regretted it when paint splattered on him--and decided, “It’s the best plan we’ve got.”
“Then I guess I’m in as well,” Jimin sighed. “Just make sure no one sees me at your club, okay? I can’t have my reputation tarnished with people thinking I like anime.”
“You literally binged Haikyuu!! last weekend instead of studying for exams.”
“Well, yeah,” Jimin said obviously, “but I can’t let everyone else know that, can I?”
"So we're doing it!" Taehyung pumped his fist. "Third time's the charm!"
The keys jingled in Taehyung’s hand cheerily as the three carefully made their way around the building after school ended. Jungkook was beginning to think that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all--if his teachers found out he intentionally locked them in a closet, they might write so on his college recommendation letters.
(Well--at least the admission officers would get a kick out of it.)
“Are you sure about this?” Taehyung tossed the keys in the air and caught them. Dimly, Jungkook wondered from whom he swiped them. “I know you’re skipping out on football practice today.”
“It’s cool.” Jungkook waved a dismissive hand. “I choose anime club over football any day.”
“Jungkook, you’re star quarterback,” Jimin deadpanned.
“And I’m also president of the anime club, your point?” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Mr. Kim’s room is right over there--I’ll go check if they’re both inside.” Darting over to his literature classroom, he very carefully creaked the door open to peek inside.
Namjoon was perched his chair and Seokjin was leaning against the desk, discussing amongst themselves. Their smiles were soft as they looked at each other, and Jungkook almost felt like he was intruding on an intimate moment. Folders bursting with papers were nestled in their arms--they were no doubt about to start grading. Perfect timing.
“Mr. Kim?” Jungkook called tentatively and both teachers immediately looked his way.
“Jungkook?” Namjoon gestured him forward. “What do you need?”
“Oh, nothing much,” Jungkook said, rocking back and forth in a way that made him seem almost innocent. “I’m just with my club and we were wondering if you could help us grab some art supplies from the supply closet.”
“Isn’t there football practice today?” Seokjin mused.
“Sports are irrelevant,” Jungkook said patiently.
“Fair enough.” Seokjin straightened up. “I’ll go with Jungkook, then. I’ll be right back, Namjoon.”
“No!” Jungkook raised his hands desperately and the two teachers looked at him in surprise. “Um...I mean…” He lowered them meekly. “I think both of you should come. We uh. We’ll need a lot of supplies for our uh. Project.”
“I guess so.” Namjoon rose hesitantly. “What project are you working on?”
“Naruto life sized sculptures,” Jungkook said abruptly and turned to walk out before they could ask more questions.
“Nicely done,” Jimin whispered as they headed to the closet. Their teachers were walking a little behind them, and Jungkook couldn’t help but throw a few furtive glances behind him to make sure they weren’t listening .”This is actually working.”
The supply closet was already unlocked when they arrived, and Jungkook graciously stepped aside to allow Seokjin and Namjoon to enter before them.
“What do you need?” Namjoon scanned the shelves. “Pencils, paint, markers--”
“Oops,” Taehyung said, and slammed the door shut. He locked it quickly and stepped back, smiling with satisfaction as the doorknob jiggled and the door refused to open. Jungkook high-fived him. God, he loved his friends.
“Kids?” Namjoon’s voice was frantic and the doorknob rattled again. “Are you there? I think we got locked in somehow.”
“How did that happen?” Taehyung gasped, feigning shock. “We’ll go ask another teacher for the keys right away!”
“Be quick,” Seokjin called.
“I will!” Taehyung grinned at Jimin and Jungkook and dropped his voice. “Does thirty minutes seem long enough?”
“Perfect. Are they talking to each other?” Jimin whispered, poking Taehyung in the back.
“I think Mr. Kim’s swearing a lot.” Taehyung pressed his ear against the door. “It’s not very romantic.”
“Maybe Mr. Kim is into that,” Jungkook suggested. “After all, we don’t know--”
“What’s going on here?” Jungkook was sharply interrupted and he nearly tripped trying to turn around because he knew that voice and it meant they were fucked.
“Mr. Min,” Jimin bounced nervously from foot to foot. “Um. We were just. Um.” He waved a hand. “You see, there was just this, um.”
“I don’t have all day,” Yoongi said, unimpressed.
“Mr. Kim and Mr. Kim are locked in the closet?” Jungkook supplied helpfully and Jimin and Taehyung elbowed him at the same time.
“Oh.” Yoongi’s expression cleared and his lips twitched up in the beginnings of a smile. “As long as you’re not up to anything bad.” He shot the three a thumbs-up. “Keep them locked up for a while, okay? Do us all a favor.”
“Did Mr. Min just enable us?” Jimin asked, astonished, when the teacher left without another word.
“I’m telling you,” Jungkook said grimly, “it’s urgent they get together."
Taehyung eyed the door. "How much time should we give them?"
Jungkook listened against the door, just barely making out their voices.
"This is your fault, Namjoon."
"How is it my fault? I didn't even touch the door!"
"I don't know, you're just convenient to blame."
"Are you fucking kidding me--"
Jungkook pushed himself off the door. "Perhaps another twenty."
They waited in an empty classroom for some time, until Taehyung checked his watch. “It’s been thirty minutes,” he reported, “Should we go unlock them now?”
“Might as well.” Jungkook slipped down from the desk he was sitting on and walked over to the closet, Jimin and Taehyung following in suit.
Somewhat apprehensive of what was inside, Taehyung carefully unlocked the door and opened it slowly. When the door was fully open, Seokjin and Namjoon were revealed sitting on the ground, two empty folders and neat stacks of papers surrounding them.
“Do you actually use a red pen for corrections?” Seokjin was asking Namjoon. He was making illegible marks on a history quiz Jungkook recognized taking.
“What do you want me to use,” Namjoon muttered, scribbling a note down on an essay, “a pencil? Like a heathen?”
“I use blue ink,” Seokjin mused. “It’s sexier.”
“What does that even--” Namjoon looked up, only then noticing Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung. “Oh, hey! Took you a while to get that key, huh?”
“Were you grading papers this entire time?” Jimin gaped.
“It never hurts to be productive,” Namjoon replied.
“It’s therapeutic, in a way,” Seokjin agreed.
“A lost cause,” Jungkook whispered, horrified. “They’re a lost cause.”
Namjoon scribbled a few grammatical corrections on one of his students’ papers, frowning to himself slightly. They had exchanged the cramped closet for a spacious living room and papers were now scattered around the couch they were lounging on. Stretching out his arms, he looked up and caught Seokjin’s eyes. “That’s like, the third closet we’ve been locked into,” he commented.
“Quite an impressive track record,” Seokjin replied thoughtfully. “The first was in college, right? That was Yoongi, wasn’t it?”
“I believe so.” Namjoon squinted at a sentence. He wasn’t quite sure it was Korean. “What was the point of that again?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Seokjin sighed. “But I remember he mentioned something about kdramas.”
PLAN D?
Jungkook slung his backpack over his shoulder and slammed his locker shut, heaving a sigh. Plan a, b, and c had all failed miserably to help his teachers. Not only that, he thought, glancing towards his friends lounging against the lockers as they waited, but he wasted their time too.
“Still upset, huh?” Jimin said to him sympathetically. “I’m sorry it couldn’t work out.” He squeezed Jungkook’s arm comfortingly. “But, hey, we tried.”
“They have Mr. Min and Mr. Jung to help regardless,” Taehyung piped up.
“I know,” Jungkook mumbled. “Come on, let’s go. My place?”
“Sounds good,” Taehyung said, gentle. He tugged on Jungkook’s arm, looping it around his and the three walked through the hallways towards the main door.
“Jungkook, is that you?” Jungkook gave a start as Seokjin poked his head out of his classroom. “And Jimin and Taehyung, perfect. We want to talk to you.”
“Uh.” Jungkook shot a confused glance at his friends, who looked just as incredulous as he. “Are we forgetting about a detention or something?”
Seokjin laughed. “Nothing like that.” He stepped back to allow the three in and they trailed in apprehensively. Namjoon was sitting atop of Seokjin’s desk and Seokjin took his place behind it, gesturing for them to sit in front of him.
“We’re not in trouble, right?” Taehyung asked carefully.
“Not at all.” Namjoon reassured them. “We were just thinking that there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding here.” He hesitated. “You three...you’ve been trying to set us up, haven’t you?”
Jimin choked. “How could you assume that--”
“That would be incredibly unprofessional--” Jungkook gasped.
“Absolutely none of our business, the nerve--” Taehyung declared.
“Yeah,” Namjoon said fondly. “You definitely were.”
“We’re sorry,” Jungkook burst out. “We wanted to help and we thought it would be a good idea. At the time.” He ducked his head. “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable, we really didn’t mean anything bad--”
“Jungkook,” Seokjin said gently. “We’ve been married for three years.”
Jungkook stopped. “You what?”
Namjoon shared a smile with Seokjin. “We’ve never worn rings because we didn’t want to start any rumors, but I guess we’re pretty bad at hiding our feelings.”
"What the fuck," Jungkook said softly, but with feeling. “What the fuck.”
“Ah!” Jimin snapped his fingers. “Is that why you share the same last name?”
“No.” Seokjin frowned. “That’s coincidental. I wanted to hyphenate but Namjoon thought it would sound dumb.”
“That’s because it does sound dumb.”
“I think you sound dumb.”
“My god,” Taehyung said wondrously. “How did we not notice?”
Namjoon laughed, a little embarrassed. “Anyway, thank you for trying to help,” he added. “It was sweet. We’re always open if you three need something.”
“So…” Jungkook started hopefully, “Could I get an extension on my project?”
“No,” Seokjin said kindly, “but I appreciate the attempt. Get that ironed out yourself, along with your relationship.”
“Relationship?” Jungkook said blankly as he stood up to leave. “What relationship?”
“Does he not know you’re all dating?” Namjoon asked Jimin and Taehyung, incredulous.
“Not yet,” Jimin said affectionately, ruffling Jungkook’s hair.
“We’re working on it,” Taehyung added, and smiled brightly at Jungkook. “See you tomorrow!”
Perhaps, Jungkook thought, as his apparent boyfriends dragged him out of the classroom, perhaps he should have focused on his own issues, first.
“They’re good students.” Seokjin leaned against the desk, Namjoon next to him. “Cute kids.”
“Kind of remind us of ourselves in college,” Namjoon offered, turning Seokjin so he was facing him. “Controlled chaos.”
Seokjin looped his arms around Namjoon’s neck. “Though I’d like to think we had our feelings sorted out better.”
Namjoon smiled softly. “We could’ve gotten together sooner.”
“Subtlety,” Seokjin chided him as Namjoon leaned in. “Can’t have the whole school knowing, now.”
“Subtlety,” Namjoon laughed, and kissed him anyway. “When were we ever good at that?”