Chapter Text
Sybil sat at her desk and stared at the new couple in front of her. She knew how to fix relationships, hell she was dating a man made entirely out of stone so she thought she knew what she was doing, but even she knew that this would be a pretty difficult one to save even for someone like her.
In front of her was a couch and on that couch two people were seated.
To her left she saw a small rabbit, arms crossed with a scowl on his face. His name was Max, and he was looking down at the ground while occasionally looking up back at her. She could hear him mumbling curses and insults and sometimes he would just hop a little when he thought of a good insult. It was kinda cute but now was no time to bring that up. He was growing impatient. She could see his foot tap up and down.
“How does He get that rabbit to stay still at all?” Sybil thought.
To her right she saw a large, chubby, 6 foot dog. His Name was Sam, and compared to the rabbit he was moving as much as a statue. He was trying his best to not give his partner any attention whatsoever and he kept a steady deadpan stare at her the whole time. It kinda creeped her out but she didn't wanna hound on him for it. He seemed like he had enough on his plate. Sometimes he would reach for his gun but then mumble something about waiting a little longer and putting his hand back on his lap.
It was a cool quiet night in New York and on most nights Sybil would be home with her husband and kid. The clock was about to hit 12:00 am. They had been at this for about a hour. Well The two of em had been arguing for a whole hour. She had started off writing stuff down on a clipboard but just began to sit back and listen to them argue and wait for a moment to interject. Said moment never really came however. The two of them just kept going and going.
“All IM saying is you could at least KISS me once?! Just once! How long has it been since we’ve been...well...us! Is it really that big a deal?!” The rabbit screamed.
Sam, snapped his neck down to Max, finally breaking the stare.
“MOST couples don't start off from cuddling to declaring how in love they are in public while trying to make out Max! We’ve gotten kicked out of quite a few places just because of you!”
Max finally turned to Sam Having to stand to be at eye level.
“You know as well as i do that you’re exaggerating! I’ve let out small mentions about you being my boyfriend in front of people and thats all you fat as-
Max couldn't finish his sentence as Sam had pulled out his gun and placed it in his mouth.
“Say it again”
Max pulled out his gun just as quickly and pressed it against Sam’s eye.
“You think i won't?!” Max tried to say but couldn't really say because his mouth was full of gun.
“ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH FROM BOTH OF YOU!” Sybil interrupted.
Sam and Max both instantly drew back their guns and flinched a bit. Sybil screaming was usually a sign she had lost her patience with the two. A impressive feat.
Sybil sighed and put her hand on her forehead for a second before looking at her watch and then back at Sam and Max. She loved them both and would do anything to help them but she was hitting her limit here.
“Both of you! Guns in this box now! I will NOT be helping with hiding a body tonight after all of this!”
Max gives Sam one more look before reluctantly giving his gun to sybil. He starts to shudder, muttering about feeling naked.
Sam had went a bit red in the face and handed the gun before fixing his posture and sitting up a little more as if to apologize for his earlier behavior.
Sybil took both the guns and for once there was...silence. It was nice, peaceful even. She almost didn't want to break it and just quietly motion them out, but she had got this far in, she can't leave now.
“Sam...Max….im glad you came to me to talk about this but you guys have been arguing for about a hour and a half now.”
Sam rubbed the back of his head nervously while max just grunted.
“Sam. You two have barely said anything for the past hour. I know i called you two because i needed someone to help practice my new relationship counsel job with but this is ridiculous.”
Sam looked at the ground looking slightly guilty while Max’s face softened a little.
Sybil sighed. “Don't act like that. Im not that mad at you. But let's try to be adults here alright?”
She took of notice of How Sam was still in a Full….suit.
“Sam? You’re in a full suit. Maybe taking off some of it will calm you down?”
Sam looked back up at Sybil obviously uncomfortable with the idea and simply took off his hat.
Sybil looked a bit confused and looked at Max for some kind of answer, but he only rolled his eyes and shrugged.
“Progress is progress i guess…” Sybil thought.
“So from what little you HAVE told me. You two are in a relationship now and aren't happy with each other?
Still silent, they both nodded. Sybil couldn't help but chuckle. The last time She saw Sam he had loudly declared how he wasn't in love with Max at all. Now he hates him all of the sudden.
“Well i can't tell you much off only that…”
“Sam. Why don't we try and start from the beginning? Tell me how you both decided to go here in the first place.” Sybil suggested.
“Tch, We’ll be here all night with you trying to get anything outta him.” Max grumbled.
Sybil glared at Max. “Max no quips from you okay? Sam please. Do you think you can do it?”
Sam looked at Max and then back at Sybil. The past few days had been a whirl. From figuring out he liked his best friend to now hating him. He wanted things to go back to normal.
“If the furball there is gonna keep quiet then….”
Sam took a deep breath then looked right at Sybil.
Sybil took out her clipboard and pushed up her glasses finally ready to work.
“This all started...a few days ago.” Sam started.