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Something for me.

Summary:

Spoiler for 8x06

In that moment Jon ask himself... Have I ever done something selfish? Something for my happiness and fuck the consequences?

[Or in which Jon doesn't go to the Wall]

Notes:

Hi! I'm... well saying I'm new here will be a lie. This is my first story to publish here in AO3.

I was totally disappointed with that ending...

I mean when Jon was saying goodbye to his family and he was about to get on the boat he look towards Sansa once again... At the very least give us a kiss!!! It's the finale!!! Was a fuc**** kiss too much to ask for? Seriously?!

Whatever... I've started reading some fics fixing that shit after I watch the episode that I calmed my heart... So in return I have written my own ending.

The characters might seem a bit out of character (OOC), but I just thought about this idea and I wanted to write it.

Without further delay... Let's begin!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

As Jon walk through the docks he wondered... Why? 

Why is it that every thing he did the right thing he got punished for it!

They should have brought the one hundred thousands of men, women and children south of the wall when the first "dead" people appear... but no... They prefered to hold a stupid grudge instead of doing what was right.

And in the end it cost them everything. The Night's Watch is gone. The Free Folk is merely a ghost of what it once was. Jon remember the day he enter their camp. It was enormous, every clan was there... even the Giants! One hundred thousands of people, living people! If even they could stop their problems for a better future... why the Night's Watch couldn't?

And when Jon finally had the power to bring them on the right side... how many of that gigantic camp was left?... Five thousands? How many of the three-hundred Giants he heard of... one? 

His reward?... Betrayal.

And now?... In that moment Jon ask himself... Have I ever done something selfish? Something for my happiness and fuck the consequences?

When he was a child and he would practice with Arya in the Godwods in private?... Maybe, but that wasn't Jon's idea, although he did enjoy it and was happy to play with his she-wolf sister.

When he accepted Longclaw?... Sure he was very happy for it, but then again... it wasn't his idea, was it?

Perhaps Ygritte?... Yes, those moments with her were beautiful and he would always remember her...

But in the end it didn't matter did it? Duty called him and those moments were over. 

Andthen after he got murdered and was planning of going South... 

She rode thought the gates of Castle Black and his entire world changed. Sansa. When she ran to his arms it felt like... home.

In that moment Jon made a vow to himself. He would do everything to protect her, even if it meant defeat the Night King and all the enemies that would stand on her way which he didn't knew at the time. 

Whenhe was in the Battle of the Bastard and was dying all he thought was Sansa. And then... he heard it, and saw The Knights of the Vale with Sansa aside with a beautiful smile on her face. On that moment he pushed those thoughts aside, not only because they were wrong, but because he need it to focus on the battle. 

And of course it was the time at Dragonstone. He gave up his crown to protect Sansa... and the North. Loving Daenerys wasn't selfish. No. He did loved her, but in reality he loved her because he couldn't be with Sansa, and because none of what Jon said seem to care to Daenerys. The North's war, as she like to called it when it was everybody's war!... In the end it took him bending the knee. 

He should have seen it in that moment, the thing she cared the most was power... was a fool he was.

Arriving at Winterfell and seeing her standing like a Queen only made his vow stronger. The only Queen I would ever kneel.

One would thought that after learning of your mother's name after wanting to know about it your entire life you would be happy...

And Jon was happy, but no because of that, in the moment Sam told him of his true parentage his thoughts weren't for the father he never knew, his mother or even why his uncle never told him the truth. He understood of course why he had to lie, but he could have told him when he was older. 

But no... there was only two words in his mind on that moment. Sansa... and cousin.

Of course he never got to enjoy it because of the Night King and is own stupidity for telling Daenerys the truth. It only made thing worse, he had to keep her close and pleased so she would stay away from Sansa, who wouldn't stop going against Daenerys. 

He realised too late of the Queen's true nature. He wanted to believe so badly on her... but how could Jon - or anyone for that matter - after what she did to King's Landing. 

He thought that killing the Queen would be harder... but in truth it wasn't. And when he stabbed her and watch as she die a part of him felt relief.

Then, a few moments later Drogon appear.

This is it, he thought. But the Dragon was a magical creature, for he must have understood that Jon never wanted to kill her, but he simple had no choice.

And once again Jon was surprised at the Dragon. For he open its mouth a melted the Iron Throne, that cursed chair. 

What an irony that it was Dragon's fire that destroyed what the same fire created hundred of years ago. 

In his cell Jon had a lot to think about. Was that how Jaime Lannister felt when he killed The Mad King? 

If the Kingslay-... no, if Ser Jaime Lannister were still be alive he would treat him better, for he did what was right, and he paid the price. 

And now... Jon would has well. 

Near the boat that will take him to White Harbour and then the Wall was Bran, Arya... and still the most kind, smart, fierce, gentle, loving and beautiful woman he ever had the honour of being at her side, Sansa Stark. 

As soon as he was close the little she-wolf of a sister he has crush him with a hug so fierce that he thought his bones would break. He hugged her back just as fierce.

When he pulled back his sister's eyes were with tears, thought she hold them back. "You can always visit me at Castle Black you know" He told her while having a hand on her shoulder. 

A sad smile form on Arya's face as she said. "I can't"

"You think anyone will tell you women aren't allowed?" He chuckled. "Much less the killer or the Night King!" Jon teased her.

Arya let a soft laugh. "I'm not going back North"

Jon leaned a bit back and he understood. Arya was always the wild one, as much as she loved the North she could never settle down, not as Sansa or Jon could. She was made for adventures. 

"Where are you going?"He heard Sansa ask, and thought she wanted to sound normal he did listen to the fear in her voice... she would be alone again.

"Was west of Westeros?" Arya whisper. A smile form on Jon's lips as well.

"I don't know"

"No one knows... is where all of the maps stops" The excitement to start a new adventure was clearly present on her. "That's where I'm going" 

Jon just look at her without losing his smile and ask "You have your needle?" 

"Right here" She barely replied and a tear made its way down her cheek, which Jon cleaned with his hand a then he hugged once again with everything he had as he would perhaps never see her again.

Then he pulled back and moved towards Sansa, but before he could say her name she was hugging him with her arms around his neck with so much strength that he never knew she had. Whitout wasting a single second he hugged her back just as strong, but more gentle. 

Eventually he tried to pull back, but she just increase her strength, if that's even possible. He complied and didn't let go, he merely stood there, breathing in her beautiful smell... lavender... and the North. 

After what seemed like and eternity but were really a few minutes, Sansa whisper him, so low that if she wasn't nearly with her mouth on his ear, he wouldn't have heard. Her voice was broken with grief and she was almost crying. "Please, Jon" I don't want to be alone. He didn't heard it, but he knew. 

Jon understood what she meant, and he didn't know what to do. If he stayed in the North with Sansa, war will most likely happened. He was tired of war, and the North has suffered enough.

But...

Before he made his decision, Jon remember the question he ask himself just a few minutes ago.

If he goes North, the North he belongs, he would break his fast every day with Sansa at Winterfell, he would see her smile, he would see her rule, he would teach the new children how to use a sword, he would rebuild Winterfell... and maybe...

Jon didn't need to think anymore, he had his answer. So he slowly pulled back from her fierce hug but didn't answer her, and perhaps that was a mistake because if the tear that escape her eyes and the many more wich were almost falling, she thought he would leave her again.

So he did something unexpected in the eyes of Sansa and Arya. He put one knee on the ground and look at her.

The way he look at her made her shiver and a blush cover her cheeks. His eyes had a fire so strong and fierce that made her want to kneel with him and kiss him until she could no longer breath. The fire was as fierce as a Dragon's fire, but as gentle as his arms every time he hold her. Such fire had a promised there as well, it promise happiness and joy, but there was a desire there as well that it was maddening and... among of all those things there was an endless amount of love that she felt like drowning in them. She never thought that she would ever get a man to love her like this. 

His voice was rough but the same fire that it was present in his eyes, was also in his voice when he spoke. "As my Queen commands" 

The smile that form on her face was priceless... not even all the money on all of Westeros could show him something so beautiful. Her eyes were glowing with happiness and the tears were falling freely from her face, but this time they were of absolute happiness.

But what made Jon smile as much as her was that he could clearly see in her face that the old Sansa was there, the one before they left Winterfell the first time, the one who loved songs and stories about princes who were as they should be, brave, gentle and strong.

Without thinking where they were he stood a hugged from the waist as his mouth found hers in the most passionate kiss he has ever had. Her lips were soft and sweet, and he felt like he was melting in the kiss. But the best part was that she returned it with an even stronger force, and when they both open their mouths to make the kiss even more the better it was madness, both of them were in a battle with their tongues that they forgot about the rest of the world and didn't notice when Arya said something that sounded like "Finally".

After a few minutes of nothing but pure bliss they both pulled back. Both of them were smiling like idiots, but in that moment they simple didn't care, they wanted those seconds for themselves alone. 

How could I ever stay away from the purpose of my life?

Jon look directly to her eyes, those beautiful blue eyes and he was mesmerised. 

Eventually he would have to go, so to make sure she understood him, so he said with conviction and love. "When the snows fall and the white winds blow..."

"... the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," He sighed in relief, she understood, and she really did because the next second she was kissing him again with tongue and everything, and he was more than happy to return it.

This time they broke apart when Arya kick Jon on the back on his thigh.

The three of them laugh without a care in the world. Jon moved to the final person he need it to said goodbye to, Bran.

So he when to his little brother and stood in front of him... but he didn't kneel. No. There was only one person he would kneel. Now and always.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me" He begin, not knowing what to say.

"You were exactly where you were supposed to be" Answer Bran with a ghost of a smile. But then he looked towards Sansa and his smile was genuine when he added. "And now you're going where you belong" Both Jon and Sansa couldn't help the idiotic smile that form on their faces.

"Ugh... you looked like idiots" Arya teased them. This time it wasn't just Jon, Sansa and Arya who laughed, but Bran as well.

Jon knew the longer he waited, the worst it will be to go, and this wasn't the North, he needed it to be smart. So he hugged Bran and told him. "You are going to be a great king little brother" Which earned him a chuckle from Bran. "You don't believe so?" He asked with disbelief, he was a Stark.

"No, it's not that..." Bran looked towards Sansa once again and added. "Sansa told the very same" 

Jon just looked at her and smile, something she returned.

So, without waiting a second longer he looked at them one last time at and went to the boat.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sansa was truly going mad with waiting. 

Today is the day in which she is going to be crowned. But that wasn't the reason for her impatience. No. The reason was Jon.

It has been a moon's turn since she last saw him. And the man didn't have the decency to at least send a raven!

But there's no point in thinking about it too much. Jon has always been like this. She thought.

As her maid — Rose — help her get dress with the one she design for this day, her mind went to kiss she share with Jon.

Only thinking about it brought a smile to her face, and a blush to her cheeks.

She was still a girl deep inside of her, it only took the right man to bring her to the surface.

"You look very happy m'lady" Her maid told her with a smile. And unlike the South she didn't said it to mock her or get information out of her.

"I am, Rose... I am." Sansa replied with a genuine happy smile.

"I'm glad, m'lady, you more than anyone deserves it" Rose added.

Sansa look towards her maid and smile at her. "Thank you, Rose"

...

As she entered the hall and all the Lords kneel before her as she walk towards the chair that will her throne all she could think of was that Jon wasn't here.

Even when all the most important lords of the North where present, she only wanted Jon.

As the Maester put the crown of the Winter King's on top of her head, she looked around the hall, to see if Jon was there. But, he wasn't, so she sit on her throne... and every lord drew up their swords and scream at the top of their lungs.

"The Queen in the North!"

"The Queen in the North!"

"The Queen in the North!"

"The Queen in the North!"

This was supposed to be a happy moment, right?... And it was, but why did it felt so empty, why did it felt like she was missing something... or rather—

In that moment the doors to the hall burst open and an gigantic white wolf with red eyes entered the hall, the poor boy was missing an ear, but he looked majestic, truly a Direwolf, more beatiful than a Dragon.

But her attention and everyone else on the hall was place on the man next to Ghost. 

Sansa stop breathing, stop thinking, shocked and happiness overwhelmed her and she couldn't move.

He was dress like a King, and every part of his body screamed North. Every part of his armour had the Stark sigil on it. On his face there was the same smile he gave her after their kiss.

Then, he grabbed the hilt of his Valyrian sword and drew it, point it to the ceiling, and he yelled so fierce, and strong than the entire North tremble.

"THE QUEEN IN THE NORTH!"

A beautiful smile form on her face and she and every lord knew that there was no person more loyal and devoted to the North than Jon Snow.

Every lord started screaming Queen in the North again.

But right know she didn't care. So she get up from her chair and she ran towards him. 

He dropped his sword and open his arms wide so she could embrace him, and she did... she crush him so hard that she thought if he could breathe at all, she hugged him and didn't let go thinking he would disappear in any second.

"Please tell me this is real, that I'm not dreaming, that I'm not going to wake up and all of this was just a dream, please" She whisper in his ear.

In that moment she didn't act like the Queen she is. In that moment she was just Sansa, in the arms of her prince who she had been dreaming for as long as she could remember.

"It is, sweet girl, it's real. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, I'm would like to stay here for the rest of my days, if you'd have me." He responded with the words she needed it the most.

To respond his request she just laughed and pulled her head back and kiss him so hard that she forgot of all the people in room.

That is... until they started yelling again.

"THE QUEEN AND KING IN THE NORTH!"

"THE QUEEN AND KING IN THE NORTH!"

"THE QUEEN AND KING IN THE NORTH!" 

Even the always silenced Ghost made a howl... and all the present Lords howl with the Direwolf.

And it was said later that every wolf in the entire North, and north of the wall howl with them.

FOR THE QUEEN AND KING IN THE NORTH!

Notes:

Hey! What did you think? English is not my mother language so forgive me if I made some mistakes.

Oh! And if you're wondering how does the crown I used here look like go to the work of "Winterfell is yours" by lucife56, on chapter 6. I didn't want to put the picture because I don't want to look like I'm stealing somebody's else work.

In case anyone's wondering... this isn't a One-shot. I plan to make more chapters. Don't expect Angst or things of the like in big amounts... It's over already... What more Angst do you want? This is going to be mostly fluff and happiness. Next chapter comes the sexy part.

A question. How can I put a profile picture ?
And. How do I tag? Because I've seen other people putting tags something that doesn't appear on the "search", how do I do that?

Lastly I'm writing this because I've read a lot of works from amazing author from here and they inspire me. People like Kit_Kat21, Sansaismyhome, Janina, vivilove, Queenofthebees, TheEagleGirl, lucife56, TheSpyder, Nightdrake. And so many more that right know I don't remember their user's name, but them and a lot more are amazing and have inspired me to make my own collaboration.

See you in the next chapter!