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Everyone slowly trickled out of the room, now mourning a member of the team they never really got to meet. Soon it is just Steve and Tony left in the med-bay. Steve sits down at one of the chairs next to Tony’s bed. They both sit there, staring at each other for a second.
Steve starts, “I’m sorry. About Peter,” he specifies. “He sounds like he was a great kid, and like he would have been a great member of the team.”
“He was. He would have been.” Tony responds.
“We should talk about Germany,” Steve says without hesitation.
“Wow straight to the point Cap. Then we should probably talk about Siberia too.” Steve nods in agreement.
“I was wrong about Germany.” Tony starts. “I just wanted accountability, so I jumped at the first chance at it, ignoring what the finer details were. You were right, they put too many restrictions and singled out enhanced people. You're my teammate, not an experiment to be outcasted. And as much as the accords were about accountability, they didn’t take into the fact that sometimes the world needs The Avengers to stop an issue before it even comes on the radar of the U.N. More importantly, though, I should have trusted the people that you trust. Seeing you guys locked up like that, it’s not how things should be if we disagree.”
“Thank you for saying that, it means a lot.” Steve was obviously shocked that not only did Tony go first but he genuinely apologized and took the accountability he just talked about. But actually, after hearing about Peter, he was less shocked than he would have been. He realized he never really knew his teammate.
“But you were also right,” Steve tells him. We can't just say ‘we know best’ and ignore the world. We did leave damage behind and we can't ignore that just because we saved the world. We did need accountability, hell we still do. I should have been willing to sit at a table and discuss amendments to the accords to make it work for all of us instead of saying ‘no’ outright and walking away. Sitting down just didn't seem like an option when Bucky was being framed all at the same time so all I could think about was getting him out of there."
“Yeah. I get that part now,” is all Tony had to say
There was a beat then, “and Siberia... Tony I'm so sorry.”
Tony tried to stop him, “no, don't do that. I went there to tell you I was wrong and to support you and instead, I overreacted. Big time. Even if I was trying to avenge my parent’s death. I tried to kill your oldest friend, your boyfriend, and it wasn’t even his fault or even his own mind that did it. You were right to stop me.”
“You may have overreacted; I mean I'm not going to say that you were right in trying to kill Bucky. But wanting to avenge your parent’s death, getting angry, and then seeing the hands that killed your parents right in front of you. I understand. Those feelings were valid, maybe not the actions, but the feelings definitely were.”
Tony chuckles. “Yeah, maybe.”
There was an awkward pause, but there was still so much more to apologize for and more to discuss regarding what happened. “Tony,” Steve continues, “I talk this big game about honesty and openness and I kept something huge from you. So I'm sorry for that. Every time I try and excuse it in my head I can hear my brain calling out my bullshit.”
“Language.” Tony interrupts. Steve chuckles, the mood lightening just a little.
“It was not up to me to decide whether or not you could handle knowing the truth about your parents. I thought I knew what was best for you but I'm beginning to think we don't actually know each other as well as we think. I shouldn’t have let the fact that I wanted to protect Bucky stop me from telling you that truth. You deserved to know.”
Tony nods. “Thank you. But I'm still sorry. The fight, it was ugly, and it shouldn’t have happened.”
“I didn’t only stop you because of Bucky, you know,” Steve says. “I wanted to stop you because I didn’t want you to lose yourself. To come out of the haze of the fight and realize you killed someone. I didn’t want that for you.” They look at each other realizing how much they care.
“Tony there's one more thing. We both know we’re ignoring how that fight ended.” Tony nods, Steve looks down, ashamed.
“How I ended it.” Steve shivers. “If I have nightmares about what I did, I can't even imagine yours. You were already on the ground.” Tears start to fall down Steve’s face, “the fact that I didn’t stop. The fact that I …” Steve takes a deep breath, “Tony I can't even express how sorry I am for slamming my shield into your arc reactor. Seeing that look in your eyes, scared of me. You were right, you're my friend too. Leaving you stuck in your suit, in the middle of Siberia. It is the worst thing I've ever done, and I will regret it for the rest of my life. No matter what else we’re forgiving each other for, I can't allow you to forgive me for that. And… ugh god.”
Steve felt like he was going to throw up, how was he going to say this last part. As much as they want to, they might not be able to come back from what Steve is about to admit. He takes a breath, knowing there can be no more secrets. “Only after I left did I realize, that as I did it, Tony…”
Tony looks at him, “Cap spit it out already what more could you possibly say? Didn’t we already go over the worst of it?”
“I forgot if you still needed the reactor for your heart.”
That made Tony suck in a breath and turn his head, unable to look him in the eyes. He was not expecting that. It takes a minute to be able to gain any semblance of composure after that confession. But Tony knows now that everything is out in the open. All the dirty laundry is aired. And he knows Rogers. He knows what it must have taken to admit that, and how he must be beating himself up. He remembers what they were doing this for. They're teammates. He looks up at him.
“You don't have to worry about allowing me to forgive you for that because I won't.”
Steve looks at him, shocked and upset, but nods in understanding. He’s about to turn around but Tony grabs his arm, turning him around to look him in the eyes.
“I'm not going to forgive you. But we can just put it behind us. Choose to move forward. To actually get to know one another. Treat each other better. Make guidelines for how all of us need to behave or handle conflict.”
“Yeah?” Steve asks, hopeful.
“Yeah.” Tony answers. “Besides you made me come up with my best suit yet. Completely portable and wearable. A suit built from nanoparticles that are housed in a detachable arc reactor. Impossible to break and made so only I can take it off. Just a double tap, a tightening of my hoodie and boom. Nanoparticles come out and the suit deploys directly around my body. Slim fit of course. With more firepower than ever before.”
Steve just looks at him in awe of the creator, the mechanic in front of him.
Tony wiggles his eyebrows. “I know right. Then again it was no match for Thanos, so it needs some upgrades.”
That brings the mood down.
Steve just looks at Tony. “So do you think you're ready to get up and get to work?”
Tony answers by swinging his legs around and putting an arm out for Steve to help him up, takes hold of the IV stand and they head upstairs to meet the team. When they get upstairs everyone is surrounding to the holotables waiting for them. Everyone smiles at their Captain and Mechanic walking in together and realizing that they might now have a chance.
“Before we start I have to say something,” Tony says as they join the group circled around the main holotable. “Cap and I have made up over the events of what I guess the media called ‘The Civil War.’ But there's something I need to discuss with all of you.” He looks over at Rhody letting him know he’s bringing up the topic they’ve been working through for ages. “All I've ever wanted to do was to help. Even before Iron Man. I realize that I have not gone about it in the best ways in the past, or even recently. But I'm adapting and changing and always trying to be better.
I know I've made mistakes. Big ones. But I also work hard for the same outcome as you guys. More than that, I provide us with a home, equipment, money. But I won't be treated like an ATM. I am part of the team, but that means we have to act like and treat each other like a team. You can't dump every mistake on my hands. I can't be treated like everything is my fault anymore. To be walked over and then when I get angry, act as if I don't have a reason to feel that way. Or to be treated like I am still the playboy, war profiteer that I was almost 10 years ago. I deserve more than that.”
Steve thinks for a second and sees everyone else coming to the same conclusion. That there is immense truth in his statement. It wasn’t an accusation, it was facts. He said the Avengers were Tony’s team more so than his own, but as he thinks about it, he took most of the team leaving Tony alone. Leaving Tony to clean up the mess. Blaming him for Ultron when he knows there was more to it than that. Hell Tony had even warned them about a bigger threat in space. Treating him like he is still that shallow person from their first interaction, not the man that has grown since then. Taking advantage of the things Tony can provide and ignoring him when he doesn’t live up to the impossibly high standards that Steve for some reason has placed on Tony alone. And he knows he isn’t the only one. After everything he just worked through with Tony, this was something he didn’t even realize he had done that he has to apologize for. So this was it. The final hurdle.
“Alright.” They all respond in turn. Knowing that this is the fight of their lives. That they can no longer treat their teammate with the disrespect that they cannot deny they’ve been treating him with. Because they need all of them, together, or else they won't win.
“Okay. Look we’re The Avengers. Or at least we used to be.” Tony continues, “We win together. We lose together. Teammates. There's no point in trying to go back and be what we used to be. We need to be better. Thanos doesn’t know what it looks like when we fight together. Let’s show him.”
Rocket speaks up, “So what are we waiting for? We have a big purple grape to take down and people to bring back.”
Steve walks around the table taking his mantle as Captain once more.
No big deal, he thinks. They’ve got this.