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Naegi mopes. He wanders listlessly, leans against walls and door frames and stares vacantly ahead. His fingernails are bitten down to the quick, sometimes bloody to the point of leaving red prints on otherwise pristine walls. He always looks tired. He clings, follows Asahina to the pool to watch her swim, sits with Hagakure in the cafeteria and stares at his crystal ball, talks quietly with Kirigiri outside the principal’s office.
Togami doesn’t think Naegi realizes how lonely he is, especially when he comes to the library. Togami intentionally makes himself bad company-- one word answers, no eye contact, stiff posture even when he’s in a plush chair. Despite his best efforts, though, Naegi still follows. When he doesn’t chance conversation, he flips through books endlessly, too fast to actually be reading them. From across the table Togami can watch him chewing his lip, picking the skin on his face, tugging his hair.
Togami may be self absorbed, yes, but that doesn’t mean he’s blind . He can see that Naegi is fracturing, fraying at the seams, and it troubles him to think of what may happen once he breaks. So he relents a little, doesn’t kick Naegi out the second he steps into the same room, tries his best to stop his sneering and snide remarks.
Besides, with the way that time passes at a crawl at Hope’s Peak, Togami almost welcomes the company. He’d never admit it, of course, never give himself a chance for that sort of vulnerability, but Naegi isn’t bad company. They talk for hours sometimes-- or, more accurately, Naegi talks for hours. He’s no good at hiding things, and he’s the first to admit it. Naegi is so entirely different from Togami that he can only watch the other ramble in mild amazement.
Naegi can’t stop thinking about his younger sister. He misses fast food and family vacations and seeing his friends. He agonizes over the murders that have happened, traces his own footsteps from the investigations and constantly finds himself standing in front of the elevator that leads to the basement. He admits quietly he writes down everything he can from the class trials, even though reliving them makes his stomach churn. He stops to bite at his nails, and Togami squints behind his glasses and wonders if he imagines the lead smeared onto the side of his hand. Naegi spends a lot of his time thinking about his classmates, about why they killed and how they died. But he also spends a lot of time distracting himself, thinking about the world outside of Hope’s Peak and what he’ll do when he gets out.
“I’ve never been to a party.” Naegi admits on one of his better days.
“I have, for business.” Togami scoffs. “They aren’t much fun, I’ll assure you.”
“Yeah, but those are like... grown-up parties. I’m talking drunk teenagers doing stupid shit and hooking up with strangers. One of those parties.” Naegi says pointedly. He leans forward, elbows on the table, and eyes Togami.
“Just because it’s under the guise of a ‘business party’ does not mean that there is not much… hooking up, as you put it.” Togami pulls a face.
“What’s that meant to mean?”
“Business men still get drunk, as do their wives. They don’t tend to be too discreet when they sneak off.”
“You speak in riddles, Togami.” Naegi rolls his eyes. “You’re saying drunk people cheat on their husbands at business parties, yeah?”
“I…” Togami feels suddenly defensive, and he puffs up unconsciously. “It’s basic etiquette. I don’t suppose you know what that is.”
“There’s no point in having any sort of etiquette here.” Naegi sours. “Who’s gonna hear you? God?”
You , Togami thinks, then feels himself flush. He tries to hold his composure, but he knows he sounds rushed when he responds. “I have some sense of self respect, thank you very much. Besides, etiquette is good for business. I don’t want my interpersonal skills to become rusty while I’m stuck in here.”
Naegi snorts, some of the bitterness leaving his face. “Sure, sure. I’m sure your intro-personal skills are wonderful, Togami. What, do you wanna be able to seduce people or something? Does etiquette get you laid?”
Togami sputters, composure now fully lost and temper rising. “You-- You, you… You have absolutely no manners, you’re appalling .”
Naegi now fully laughs, leaning back in his chair and wrapping his arms around himself as though to hold himself together. Togami is fuming, embarrassed, caught off guard-- he knows what Naegi is implying (not that he’s really tried to imply anything, he just said it), and it has him entirely thrown.
“I do not seduce people.” He finally settles on his response and crossing his arms over his chest.
Naegi snorts once or twice before gathering himself again, propping his chin in his hand as he settles back down. He’s suddenly serious, but the remains of a smile still linger on his lips. “Have you ever kissed anyone?”
Togami blinks, hard. “I… I suppose no.” He wants to smack himself for telling the truth, but he knows in his gut he wouldn’t have been able to lie; he’s too curious as to where the conversation will go.
“Me neither.” Naegi admits. Togami doesn’t visually react, he’s sure to school his features into something neutral, but Naegi still continues regardless. “I already said I wasn’t ever invited to parties, so no spin the bottle for me.” He huffs out a laugh, then pauses, considering his next words. Togami watches as he begins to pick at his fingers. “I sometimes wonder… if I should have kissed Sayaka. The night before she died.”
His words make something sharp twist in Togami’s gut. He doesn’t like the bluntness of it, no attempt to soften or cover up what happened. It’s easier to distance himself if he doesn’t think of it like that, doesn’t think of it as a killing. As a…
“How can you just say it?” Togami asks without thinking.
“That I wanted to kiss Sayaka?”
“No, that she’s…”
Naegi’s eyes go hard. “That she was murdered.” It’s not a question, but Togami nods anyway.
“I’m not like you, Togami. I can’t hide away what’s happened here, even if I wanted to. I’ve tried, god, I’ve tried so hard to pretend something else happened. But… I can’t.” Naegi looks Togami in the eyes. “Sayaka was murdered. She was killed in my bedroom right before she tried to frame me for murder.”
Togami’s brain feels like a stalling engine. “I don’t think we’re so different.”
“You’re lying.”
“Not now.”
“What do we have in common?”
“I want to kiss you.”
Now it’s Naegi who’s caught off guard, and he physically reels back a bit. “Oh. Oh.” He swallows hard. “Okay.”
Internally Togami is a mess. His fingers tingle and anxiety whirs through his veins. He doesn’t know why he said that, doesn’t know why he’s gone against every instinct he’s been raised to follow and had honestly emoted, but it’s too late to take anything back. There’s a long, heavy silence as Togami sits and tries to gather his thoughts. He looks at Naegi, who’s still wide-eyed. His cheeks are red, and Togami realizes with a start that Naegi actually looks alive .
He doesn’t want to speak, wants to preserve this precarious moment where he’s balancing between self loathing and hope, so he waits.
It doesn’t take much longer. Naegi clears his throat. “Well.” He looks at Togami. “Kiss me.”
Togami doesn’t even have to think before he’s standing, walking around the table and bending awkwardly at the knees and bending down to face Naegi. He only pauses once he’s there, unsure of how to continue, but then Naegi grabs him by the suit jacket and surges upwards and they’re kissing.
Naegi kisses messy, almost dirty, and Togami tries his best to keep up. It’s awkward, and there’s spit seemingly everywhere, and his back hurts and thighs burn and logically this kiss is awful but Togami is more focused on how it’s Makoto Naegi he’s kissing and feels a thrill in his chest, something entirely foreign but entirely addictive.
It’s only when Togami really can’t breath and his lungs begin to burn that he breaks the kiss, straightening up as Naegi flops back into his chair. They’re both breathing heavily, and Naegi wipes his mouth with his sleeve and Togami looks down at him, reeling. He reaches up to touch his mouth and pulls a face when he feels saliva on his chin.
“Where’d you learn to kiss like that?” Naegi asks, still slightly breathless. His cheeks are still red, but his eyes are clear, focused on Togami as he pulls out a handkerchief to wipe his face.
“Books, I suppose. What about you?”
“Porn.” Naegi responds bluntly, and Togami feels heat crawl up the back of his neck. Naegi almost cackles, pointing a finger wildly at him.
“Your ears are red!” He looks absolutely delighted, and it takes everything in Togami not to snap and ruin the moment. Instead, he huffs and pulls out the chair next to Naegi until he stops laughing.
“Have you finally recovered from your fit?” Togami drawls, feigning disinterest and reaching across the table for his abandoned book. The moment his fingers touch the cover, though, Naegi grabs for his arm, catching his sleeve and squeezing it in his fingers.
“Hey, hey, I’m done, I’m done.” Naegi gives him a cheeky smile, and Togami almost, almost swears he feels butterflies in his stomach, but the thought is so gross and cliche he immediately squashes it. Naegi tugs his sleeve, bringing him back to the real world. “I want to kiss you.”
Togami quirks an eyebrow, internally prideful that he’s able to stay composed. “I told you we aren’t so different.”
“Oh, shut the hell up!” Naegi swings wildly at him, and Togami snickers as he ducks out of the way. Naegi grabs at his collar again and tugs him forward, and Togami almost spills out of his chair as they kiss. This time he reaches up to hold Naegi’s face, trying to keep him still and curb his enthusiasm, but Naegi lets out a loud noise of protest directly into his mouth and Togami pulls away.
“You. Kiss. Like. A. Wet. Dog.” He speaks before Naegi gets the chance to.
Naegi lets out an offended noise and goes to object, but Togami gestures to his mouth, where he once again feels a copious and borderline gross amount of spit, and Naegi goes quiet for a moment before sighing. “Fine, I won’t kiss like a ‘wet dog.’” He does air quotes. “But, if we’re compromising, can we move?”
Togami gives Naegi a look before he relents and nods once. Naegi smiles, this time almost shyly, and it makes something twinge in Togami’s chest as he’s led to a plush chair in the corner of the room. Naegi gives him a little push and he sits, looking up at the other, mildly confused until Naegi jumps up onto the chair and straddles him.
Togami’s eyes go wide as Naegi settles in his lap, and he has to take a deep breath to try and keep at least some of his composure as his brain registers a warm weight on his thighs. He’s too surprised to look anywhere but Naegi’s face as he hesitantly places his hands on the other’s sides.
“Is this good?” Naegi asks, putting his own hands on Togami’s shoulders. Togami nods again, not trusting his voice to be steady. “Okay, cool.” Naegi leans in again, and this time when they kiss it’s much less wet.
Togami slides a hand up Naegi’s side to touch the back of his neck, and Naegi lets out a small noise and shifts a little in his lap. Togami inhales sharply through his nose at the movement, and Naegi smiles into the kiss, almost breaking it as he does so.
Togami thinks they could kill a lot of time like this.