Work Text:
Steve, if asked, would readily admit that he probably didn’t feel fear exactly like a normal, non-superhuman does. Hell, he probably doesn’t feel fear like most superheroes do. It’s not that he doesn’t have fear- no that’s a very human emotion and the serum didn’t change his emotions, thank you, but it’s that Steve fears many things, just not he usual ones that most people do (like his own death) and instead just has general anxiety about regular parts of life. So, he usually doesn’t do big fear, just lots of little fear.
Steve had only ever been so scared three times in his entire existence.
Not when he was fighting robots, not when he was bringing down HYDRA, not when he though Bucky was going to kill him, not when he woke up in the 21st century alone and scared. Not when he’d driven the Valkyrie into the ice. Not when he’d been shot up, nearly blown up, or used as a human lab rat. Not even when he though he was going to die in the winter of ’38.
No, he’d only ever been this scared watching his Ma die when he was 16, sickly, and beyond broke. He’d only been so scared when Bucky had fallen off the train, disappearing down, down, down into a frozen hellscape where Steve would never find him. He’d been this scared watching Tony fly that nuke into a fucking worm hole and watching him fall out and realizing with horror that He was dead (even if only for a few moments).
The sheer terror and anxiety he felt now made those terrible days feel like the best days of his life.
He paced. He didn’t usually do it, too much physical display of fear or worry, but standing alone in a room in the tower, knowing what lay on the other side of the eight-inch steel door, he didn’t fucking care.
But, the moment he heard it start to open he froze, watching, waiting.
Only Wanda walked out.
The cold fear pooling around his heart tightened painfully.
“I can’t fix it.”
With that one sentence, Steve’s world crashed to the ground around him. The air around him sudden felt like ice-cold water, filling his lungs and chilling every last part of him, choking and freezing, and terrible. He leaned against the wall, only allowing himself that small weakness when what he really wanted to do was crumple to the floor and cry. It took every bit of his self-control to keep his breathing even and not let the tidal wave of emotion sweep him away. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, he wanted to go back twelve hours and never let him team out on that damn mission. He didn’t even realize Wanda was still talking, until he heard her voice break.
“I-I tried everything I could think of. I don’t know what’s wrong, I don’t know why I can’t fix it” she said, tears welling in her eyes. “I-I don’t understand. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”
Damn it. He had to pull it together, he was still the leader, even now, even when everything was falling apart. He wasn’t allowed to fall apart- not when his team needed him. He wasn’t the only one with feelings.
Steve closed the gap between the young hero and himself and pulled her into a short, but fierce hug that surprised both of them, from the way Wanda stiffened before returning the hug. “It isn’t your fault Wanda” he said, his voice conveying far more confidence than he felt “We’ll figure something out ok? Don’t worry. We’ll fix this. We have to fix this.”
There was no choice. There was no other option. Steve would find a way to fix this. He had to.
Because Steve Rogers had many faults and he would be the first to admit them, but he would never, ever abandon his family team. Even mind-controlled and highly violent, Steve would never loose them without a fight.
No one could claim that Steve was anything but dedicated, and God help whoever dared get in his way when he set his mind to something.
~~
Three hours prior
The mission was supposed to be easy.
It was a small HYDRA base, one of the few remaining ones that they knew of, and according to all reports it was run mostly by older members who clung to HYDRA ideals, despite not having the brains or manpower to do much other than that-cling to outdated and terrible ideals.
Their sources were wrong.
At first, it was all fine. He divided them into two teams and divided the base accordingly. They would follow usual protocol: kill any agent who fought back, take any who surrendered for questioning, and destroy tech Tony didn’t want to risk tampering with. Then blow up the base.
Steve, Clint and Wanda had taken the south side and split up after taking the entrance together and it was gong rather well. Most of the agents, were, as reported older. Steve felt not guilt about killing them, however. As HYDRA agents, they had made their choice and Steve didn’t care how old they were. If they fought they were taken down. And they did fight. Not well, mind, Steve had no problem taking car of the agents, between his fists and his shield. Everything had seemed normal for the first twenty minutes or so, listening to his team all take down HYDRA agents.
Steve didn’t know exactly when they got to the first of them, or who had gone first, but Steve hadn’t even realized something was wrong until he’d come face to face with Natasha (he’d lost his ear piece when one HYDRA agent had slammed him over the head with a well-aimed chair). He thought it was odd, since she, Tony, Pietro, and Sam were supposed to be on the other side of the compound after all, but before he could even question her, she was attacking. Hard.
Fists and legs were flying with fury that Steve had rarely seen from Natasha and never had he seen her face twisted in such rage. Never.
“Natasha, stop!” he shouted just barely dodging one of her kicks. He grabbed that leg and used her momentum to flip her over, but she brought him down too, and a sharp elbow hit him in the ribs, causing him to runt in pain “What are you doing?”
Natasha just growled. Well, Steve called it a growl, it was a feral sounding noise that came from somewhere deep inside his friend. He’d never hear something so animalistic come from a human, let alone his usually collected friend. She continued to attack, despite all of Steve’s attempts to reason with her, try to show her that it was Cap, Steve, her friend she was trying to murder. It worked even less than it had on Bucky in DC and Steve tried not to panic because had he lost yet another person, someone else he loved to HYDRA. He couldn’t panic, not now. Not when Natasha.
It was terrifying and more than a little alarming. Steve had managed to get Natasha pinned in a choke hold, but only just so. He risked moving one hand to pull the earpiece from her ear and put it in his own. He was horrified by what he heard. Wanda had been screaming. Shouting.
He had, for a moment wondered if she too was fighting the others, like Natasha, but then, he realized what she was saying.
“Stay away from him!” she cried guttural and terrifying “I said stay AWAY”
That had been followed by a grunt and slight cry of pain, that Steve couldn’t identify, besides the fact it was distinctly male. Natasha had finally, finally, started to slow her squirming in his tight grip. He tried not to think about that. Or why he had her in the grip. Or why Wanda had to be protecting someone.
“What’s happening?” he shouted into the comms “Someone give me a status update!”
“Steve!” Wanda’s voice had crackled over the radio, relief evident “Thank God! Clint’s hurt, the others- STAY BACK- “(Steve’s frown deepened as the sound of another body hitting the wall could be heard.. Clint was hurt, seemed to echo in his ears a strange way too) “the others have gone crazy! I don’t know what’s happening! I’ve knocked out my brother, Tony, and Sam.” Wanda’s voice had turned small and quiet and Steve knew how scared she had to be. Steve wasn’t feeling any better. What was happening? He felt like he was having de -a-vu, in the worst way.
“I’ve got Natasha” Steve had informed her, hoisting the now unconscious assassin over his shoulder (still pointedly not thinking about that) “I’m headed in your direction”
It had taken him only forty-five seconds to find Wanda and the others. She was glowing red, with her power swirling around the two unconscious men, and Steve gently placed Natasha beside them. He then turned to Wanda and found her standing directly in front of Clint, who also appeared to be unconscious, but rather than from fighting Wanda, it was likely blood loss. Steve’s stomach had twisted, not because of the blood, but because Clint looked bad. The piece of metal protruding from his side did nothing to help the image.
“Pietro stabbed him with that” Wanda practically whispered. She had looked pale when Steve turned to her “That’s when I realized something was wrong. I-I think they’re under some sort of mind control.”
“What do you mean?” Steve had demanded “Mind control how”
Wanda had shifted uncomfortable “It is similar to my powers, but… I don’t know. I just know that something isn’t right in their minds. Their thoughts..” Wanda shivered. “It’s best you can’t see them. Something happened to them, Steve. And we need to get out of here, before it happens to us too. I think, I think they were going to take me too, but I stopped them”
Steve wanted nothing more than to search the whole base and find who had done this and demand them to undo it, but once glance at Clint and Steve’s decision had been made for him. They were returning. But he was leaving the base, for now.
They managed to get everyone back on the jet (and thank God for JARVIS and autopilot) before anyone stirred. It was Natasha.
Steve and Wanda had been sitting by Clint, Wanda holding his hand and Steve trying to staunch the bleeding, when Natasha had lunged.
Before either of them could react, her hands here wrapped around Steve’s neck, pulling him back to the floor, where she then wrapped her legs around his neck too, effectively cutting off his air supply. Steve had thrashed and clawed at her hands, desperately trying to get her off, but being scared that if he moved too much, he’d hurt Clint, when Nat’s hands had been ripped from his throat, and her body thrown across the room.
He had rolled onto his side, and saw Wanda, red mist swirling around her, look at him with sheer panic in her eyes.
That’s when he knew, something had really, truly, gone wrong.
~~
After returning to the tower, a waiting pair of nurses had taken Clint to the medical floor to be looked at by Doctor Cho, while Wanda and Steve had taken the team to the lockdown ward, a floor designed specifically to hold people with powers.
Wanda had tried to get in their heads and remove the influence of.. whatever it was but hadn’t succeeded. Which left them back at square one.
The two of them were sitting in the small sitting area outside the lockdown ward, discussing what she’d felt. Wanda looked terrible, though Steve doubted he looked much better. She hadn’t changed since the fight and had spent almost two hours in the ward, trying to get into the minds of any of the others. All shed gotten was a headache, some cracked ribs (courtesy of Sam), and a black eye (behalf of Tony). He didn’t comment on her tears though. He didn’t blame her for crying. Not when he wanted too as well.
During those two hours Steve had only left once, to check on Clint. The prognosis wasn’t reassuring. The doctor had said that while the metal had generally missed most vital organs, Clint was still in for a long-haul recovery and he had some head trauma that she couldn’t asses until he was awake and mostly recovered form blood loss. He would spend at least a week in a medically induced coma.
Steve wondered if he could feel any colder. He’d then been proven wrong, when Wanda had told him that she couldn’t fix the others and Steve was suddenly drowning.
“What do you mean you were locked out?” Steve questioned. He was trying to be patient but any information he could get his hands on, well, it gave him that much more to work with, got him that much closer to finding a solution.
Wanda pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and twisted the ring on her right hand “It’s. Hard to explain. But, more or less, its as if I can only read their top thoughts and influence very small things, like whether or not they’re conscious. Even that.. it isn’t as clear as it normally is, or as effective, and it’s not my powers, because I can see your mind just fine. I can’t see exactly what’s causing this.”
“I hear a but in there Wanda” Steve said, leaning forward “What did you see?”
She looked away “I think.. I think it’s someone like me. Someone with powers like mine.”
“I thought you were the only one who survived the testing. You and Pietro?”
Wanda shrugged helplessly “We were the only ones in our base Steve. Who knows what they did after we left or what happened in another base? That was the only sense I got, of what was preventing me from removing the influence over them. It isn’t tech, that’s for sure”.
Steve nodded slowly, puzzle pieces falling into place to illustrate the bigger picture “So you think a hydra operative was in that base that had powers like yours? Why didn’t they take down all of us?” Steve didn’t particularly relish the idea that there was another person with the sheer amount of power that Wanda had out there, who was using it to mind-control his friends. At least, he thought, that we were there to stop them from doing anything they would regret later.
“Maybe their powers aren’t exactly like mine- or they’re just not very good at it yet. It could be a test run” Wanda suggested after a moment.
“No,” Steve said, shaking his head “They wouldn’t use us as a test run. I think we need to go back to that base. Can you pick up on their energy there?”
Wanda pursed her lips and ran a hand through her hair (Steve didn’t comment on the bloody streaks that action left in it- she still had Clint’s blood on her hands). “I don’t know. But I can try”
“Then clean up. Get some sleep. We will give this.. whatever it is, 24 hours to wear off. Then we head back to the base to try and track the person down, if there is a person behind it.”
Steve didn’t wait for a response before standing up and heading for the door. He was going to find this person. He was going t fix this. Because he couldn’t afford not to. Not now. Not when everything was finally going right.
~~
The night was relatively sleepless for Steve. He’d showered, yes, washing off a mix of his, Natasha, and Clint’s blood. He tried not to think about that either. He wandered the tower, visiting every private floor, walking every hall, and busting ten punching bags. He was not thinking about a lot of things.
W he thought about the rage that twisted his teammates faces at the sight of him, their eyes dark blue (it wasn’t like what Loki used Wanda had assured him and he’d hit Natasha on the head hard enough that it would’ve taken care of any affects. This was something else and Steve hated it.) or Clint on the ground, twisted metal sticking from him like a strange, deformed limb, he felt like he was in the water again, those few terrible moments before he passed out. The water had covered him instantly and had been so, so cold. It felt like that half-breath he goes in, of ice water, terrible and like death, before passing out. He felt like he was drowning and freezing on dry ground.
But for the mere hour he tried to close his eyes, Steve only saw that. He saw their rage, saw them murdering him. Wanda. Each other. Thor and Bruce made appearances though neither were even on earth, blaming him for the deaths of the others.
He saw each member falling like Bucky. He saw Tony murdering him, while the others tell him he deserves it.
Steve does not try to sleep after that.
He visits the lockdown ward once. It is a mistake. The four afflicted members stare at him with rage in their face. He can hear Pietro slamming his body against the wall of his cell, trying to break through, shouting curses in a language Steve doesn’t know. Natasha has he face pressed up to the small window in the cell, her face twisted in rage even worse than when he fought he in the HYDRA base. He ignores the fact she is listing all the ways she can kill him (in every language she knows too).
Sam is pacing in his cell, looking angrier than Steve has ever seen him. He ignores Steve, or at least Steve thinks that Sam is ignoring him. He isn’t sure.
Tony pounds the door. He shouts things at Steve that Steve only ever hears in his nightmares. Somehow, in the mindlessness of this mind-control, this murder obsession, Tony is using his mind to make it so much worse than the others.
He leaves and tries to forget he went.
He goes to visit Clint twice, but Wanda is there both times.
The firs time, she is talking. Crying. Steve doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he can hear her apologies echoing long after Steve is out of hearing range.
The second time, she is half in the chair, half on the bed, sleeping so Steve leaves again.
Steve things that twenty-four hours have no right to last as long as they do.
Neither speak of their nights in the morning. They do not do much speaking, when they see that twenty-four hours later, the others have not changed. They still shake with rage. Camera show they haven’t slept either.
There are no words as they suit up.
Steve calls Maria Hill and evacuates the Tower, except for the required personnel to care for Clint, because he cannot risk the lives of all the workers in the tower when he and Wanda are not there.
~~
Steve and Wanda once again, took the Quinjet, which thankfully, had a handy feature that would return them to its last coordinates.
So, twenty minutes later, the jet touched down just outside the base that, four hours ago, Steve had entered. God, he wished they had never taken the stupid mission. It was all his fault, anyways, today was supposed to be an off day, no mission, no training, only team fun. It was supposed to be movie night. Tony and Clint had been arguing for days over what movie to watch so that Steve and the twins could catch up on modern culture. Would he ever hear those two bickers again? He suddenly felt like he as drowning again. If he didn’t it would only be his fault. He was the one with the vendetta, the one who pushed for the mission, the one-
“Steve?” He was pulled from his spiral by Wanda, who placed a gentle hand on his shoulder “Stay here.”
Now that got his attention “What? I’m not letting you go into a hostile situation alone, not when there are so many unknowns”
Wanda crossed her arms “And I can’t take you in, if I have to worry about someone poisoning their mind so that you try to kill me! I can take care of myself, Captain, I am not helpless”
Steve’s temper flared, despite his best efforts not to snap (it wasn’t Wanda’s fault he couldn’t keep his shit together) “I know” he said, “But I’m still your leader and I will not let you risk going in without back up!”
She narrowed her eyes “And I cannot risk you getting hurt too! And you can’t protect yourself! It’s my fault that the others are hurt, I can’t risk anyone else”
Steve reels for a moment “it isn’t your fault Wanda, you had no way of knowing-“
“I did and I didn’t look! I was arrogant, thinking I was the only one to do this. I could have helped you all train your mind, like Clint, to protect you. But I didn’t. it’s my fault!” Wanda, by the end of her tirade, is near tears again, overcome with anger and fear. Steve gets it, but now, now he has an idea
“So, protect me” Steve said, “Build a barrier for me, that way I can go with you and watch your back”
Wanda’s defensive posture softened, but she pursed her mouth “Are you sure? I will have to completely be in your mind Steve, and I can’t leave until we’re out of here. Are you willing to let me do that?” Steve didn’t mind her tone. She didn’t think he trusted her. And maybe, maybe in a different circumstance or with someone he didn’t trust, someone who wasn’t on his team, his family he might hesitate. But he didn’t. His team, over the last year had become something more, something beyond The Avengers. To Steve they were the people he trusted implicitly with his life and mind. He didn’t often think about it, but he realized, now that he couldn’t trust them, hoe much they’d all given each other. New members to the originals, Steve trusted every single member.
“I trust you. Do it”
~~
In the end, they found the culprit after only three hours of searching and subdued him with only a small fight. It was a man, who looked to be ten years older than Wanda, half out of his mind, with very little real skill with his powers. He hadn’t run, likely because he hadn’t realized he needed to, was arrogant enough not to bother, or simply didn’t think of it. Steve believed any of those theories were possible, after staring briefly into his blue, insane eyes.
He was in a secret sublevel of the base that it was evident Pietro had found, from the marks on the floor (though, it wasn’t evident how Pietro had found him. Stupid fucking secret doors). The man had blue smoke, thicker and darker than Wanda’s floating around him, but unlike hers, it could do little but attack them mentally, which, Wanda combatted excellently.
Steve could still feel it though, like a dark fog pressing on his mind, whispering distantly to him, telling him to attack, that those he loved, those he trusted were the opposite, that they deserved death. Some he wasn’t sure, didn’t come from the man himself, slinking around in the large basement. Those terrible whispers. That he was to kill them at whatever cost. He could bush them off, easily, thanks to Wanda’s protection, but it made him feel vaguely ill that this evil had found its way into the minds of his team.
The man used his thick fog like mist to fill the room, making it hard to see, and Steve covered Wanda’s back. This was not his fight, not really. He could not fight him, not like Wanda could, striking with her magic, nearly always find her mark. He only landed one hit, when the man came from behind her, and he used his shield to send him sprawling, smoke instantly thinning.
He wished he’d been able to kill the man with his bare hands, like the man had tried to force Natasha to do.
But Wanda stuck the killing blow with her powers, pulling the man apart from the inside out, breaking his body, his neck, because his mind could not be penetrated. In Steve’s opinion it was too kind a death.
Wanda figured that the man’s insanity was part of the reason she couldn’t get in his mind, or the minds of their friends. His fog acted as a shield that she couldn’t navigate or breach. He had to be destroyed form the inside, he just didn’t count on the inside of his body working just as well as his mind.
Steve didn’t really care, so long as it worked.
They blew up the building, to ensure the job was done, though (and so that protocol was met) and got back on the quinjet.
Steve was never more thankful for the superspeed jet and its ‘Home Sweet Home’ button (name courtesy of Tony).
~~
When they returned to the Tower, Maria met them at the landing pad. “They are back to normal. Well, as normal as far as they go I suppose.” The corner of her mouth quirked into a smile, though Steve wasn’t particularly in the mood for jokes, he returned it “But, I left them in the lockdown ward, just incase you two set off some latent reaction”
“Thank you Maria” Steve said, and that was sincere “I appreciate it”
“Ne too” Wanda chimed in, though she looked far more impatient-Steve knew she was beyond ready to see her brother again. He understood how she felt.
“Its no problem. With SHIELD gone, I’m glad to be useful, even if it is glorified babysitting.” Maria rolled her eyes, but Steve could tell she was being sincere. “But, I’m heading out. Fury called. I’m off to do some real work for once. Try not to get into another mess in the next two weeks, ok?”
“Trust me,” Steve grumbled “I don’t plan on it.”
“I will keep my brother in check” Wanda vowed, raising her voice to be heard over the incoming chopper.
Maria laughed “Well, see you around guys.” She gave them a final wave and headed to the helicopter that had just touched down, the wind whipping around, ruffling Steve’s already mussed hair. As it took off, Steve and Wanda looked at one another, and took off for the lockdown ward at a walk that a lifeguard might low a whistle at.
When they reached the ward and opened the first door, Wanda was hit by a blur and for a moment Steve’s heart stopped and his body instantly tense. Steve instinctively reached for his shield, ready to fight. Had it not worked? Was Wanda being attacked? He had to-
“Steve?” A familiar hand landed on his shoulder and the panic drained out of him because there was Tony, looking concerned and relieved at the same time “Care to tell us what the fuck happened here? I feel like I just got off a two day bender in my twenties”
Steve stared for a moment, then laughed, a full belly laugh, because of course, those are the first words out of Tony’s mouth. God, it was so good to hear him talk. It was good to hear Sam’s quiet “Did I miss out on a joke here?” and see Natasha’s eye roll. For the first time, in nearly two days. Steve feels the ice in his veins melty. He feels like he can breathe again.
Everything was not alright, but with his team standing by his side, everything was much closer.
He wasn’t afraid.