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Ren had no idea what to do anymore. How was he supposed to fix this if the thing he needed to fix wouldn’t let itself be fixed? How was he supposed to apologize if she wouldn’t even look at him!
He needed help. Good help. Non-squealy help. Not the President help. Maybe his dad? No, he’d squeal too and he really did not need that! He needed good help!
Chicken help.
Desperate, Ren made up some excuse to go to TBM and find the studio Bo worked in. He knew they were filming that night so it gave him a chance to get good, real relationship advice without destroying the balance they unspokenly had. He did not need to know who was under the suit and he figured the reason the guy was comfortable talking to him about relationships was because he didn’t know who he was. It also meant he couldn’t talk to the guy directly on set or things could accidentally be taken the wrong way. He wanted help, good trusted help, but he didn’t want to make the guy lose his job or cause a stir.
So he took out 10,000 yen, wrote a note, and passed it to a stagehand going in there to give to Bo while he hid his face. Shady, but hopefully effective. The note just asked him to meet up where they had before after the show. Hopefully everything went well, but Ren had nerves shooting through him the entire hour, waiting in a closed-off hallway and wondering if his Bo was this Bo and he got it all wrong and just exposed himself to some stranger without knowing and –
“That’s a rather anxious face.”
Ren jerked his head up in surprise and relief as the familiar voice reached his ears. Bo in a suave three-piece suit watched him about two meters away. He cocked his head to the side. “What’s eating you this time? Girl troubles?”
“It’s really you...” Tension left his shoulders as he looked down, missing the bird getting nervous. Ren smiled weakly and ran a hand through his hair. “Sorry. I got lost in my thoughts and started spinning in circles. A bad habit I’ve picked up lately.”
“Never pegged you for a worrier.” Bo came a little closer, his feet squeaking loudly. He forgot that happened and it made him hold back a laugh.
“If you were in my head for a minute, you’d know that was wrong. Worried, scared,” Ren looked to the ceiling, “I’m a wreck who can put up a good act. It’s my one real talent.”
“Don’t put yourself down. I’m sure you’re talented in other ways.” Bo waved it off, fairly polite and standard for the culture, but it wasn’t as comforting as he probably wanted it to be.
“Thanks. And thanks for coming out here. I bet you’re tired being in that get-up.” He waved a dismissive hand over the mascot costume, hoping the guy would come a little closer. Not like he could bite him in that thing.
“Well, your note seemed rather...” The chicken stopped, not finding the right words to place it. Ren couldn’t agree more.
“Out of place? Panicked? Insanely unusual? Demanding?”
“Something like that.”
“How about desperate? Because I am.” His head went into his hands, groaning to himself. He went from his biggest worries to dizzily worrying he called out a stranger right back to his whole debacle with Kyoko and the stupid tabloid kiss. “I have no idea what to do and everything I’ve tried just blows up in my face and I get jealous even though she isn’t mine and I make things worse and then there’s the press and my issues and –”
“Okay, I get the picture!” Bo finally came close enough to touch, almost frantically waving away dark clouds around him. It’d be cute if he were a little girl or just his pixie princess, but as it was, the mascot was just kinda funny. “Girl troubles! And you’re reflecting on it! I get it! I get it! It’s bound to happen when a beautiful top actress kisses you on camera!”
Ren raised his head slightly to look at him, drained. “You saw that?”
“It’s… all over the news.”
He groaned again and put his head back down. Of course it was.
“But! But! I! I know it’s fake news! I know you don’t like that lady that way!”
Ren didn’t see Bo’s panic but felt it all the same, draining him more. “She didn’t even give me a choice. Kusunoki-san just laid it on me when I was guiding her out. She said she wanted to thank me for the white day gift, but… I think she staged it to get more publicity. Or someone did. Far too convenient.
“Course the president was elated about it. Nearly five years and not a single romance rumor about me. Not even a staged one.” He groaned again and threw his head back, gaping at the ceiling again. “If he wanted a staged scandal so badly, he could have just played matchmaker properly instead with both of us thinking it was staged. She may have gone along with it too.”
“Staged… Scandal?”
“It happens.” He looked to the side and saw Bo petrified at the idea. It was almost amusing. “Course, President Takarada doesn’t take that course too often and especially not with his pet projects.” He gestured to himself, smirking ironically. “But if you need to work up publicity for a project, some kind of staged event, like a startling relationship out of nowhere, is a good way to go.
“Kusunoki-san though was not willing to tell me so before or after the event. Shame on me.” He slapped his hand on his thigh and shook his head, berating himself for not being careful once again. “Reap what you sow. If I hadn’t blown it with her before that happened, I might have had a chance to explain things to her.”
“I… get the feeling you’re not talking about Kusunoki Kana now…” Bo seemed confused, making him think back on what he just said.
“No, I’m not.” He sighed heavily and got to his feet, anxious. How to explain it… Ren paced for a second before trying to start again. “Kusunoki-san isn’t actually a problem. Annoying, yes, but it’ll pass. No, the problem is the girl I told you about before.”
“The teenaged girl you aren’t letting yourself love.”
He looked to the side, rubbing his neck. “I’m… actually rethinking that.”
“Eh?”
“Thing is…” He couldn’t help but smile fondly thinking about Kyoko. “She’s amazing. She’s helped me through so much without knowing it and even helped me forgive myself. Every time I see her, I can’t help but fall in love with her more and more. And I get insanely jealous and possessive, even though she doesn’t even realize I’m nuts over her.
“I’m trying to move forward and be a person worthy of her, but my jealousy…” He gripped his head, grimacing at his own actions. “The second I think she could have feelings towards her… non-ex… or if he steps into her life even a little, all rationality goes out the window. We aren’t even dating and I start lecturing her about how not to act with other men in public the second I see them fighting. I see them joking around for a second and my stomach goes in knots, thinking she’ll like him again, and I verbally lash out at her, just so I can hear her say she’s not with him. Instead she defends him as a human being and I’m being irrational and can’t explain how I’m just jealous and want to be the only man she thinks about.”
He ran his hand down his face, remembering the harsh words he said during their last real conversation. Ren deserved this pain. After hurting her like that, he earned Kyoko’s spite. “She’s not even mine and I’m trying to control her. I royally screwed up. And now she won’t even talk to me.
“How can I apologize to her?” Tears started to form, one rolling down his cheek as he pleaded with the chicken. “How can I keep her in my life? Even if… Even if I’m nothing more than a sempai to her… I still need her to at least not hate me. I… I know she may never grow to love me back… but at the very least, I don’t want to be thought of the same as the man who broke her heart. How can I get a girl who won’t talk to me at least listen to what I have to say?”
How to get Kyoko to talk to him, to listen. He hadn’t the faintest clue. The people closest to Kyoko were telling him to back off. The people closest to him were telling him to fix this and chase after her. He wanted to apologize and explain himself, but Kyoko wasn’t talking to him. Her hating him was quite likely at this point, and it tore him to pieces. If Bo couldn’t help him, he may as well call his father and go drink his sorrows for all the good it did him.
Some time while he was talking, Bo sat on the slab and watched him silently. The mascot really looked like a sage at this point, or a statue. There was still a person in there, right? Did he even have any advice? Did he just come there to rant to someone who would listen and give advice without judgment? Well, if he had, then it at least let him get the whole thing off his chest. But couldn’t Bo do something? The silence wasn’t helping his erratic mind. “Any ideas?”
“It’s… hard to say…” Bo seemed to look elsewhere, likely getting his mind wrapped around the tirade. “You… want to apologize to the girl you love… even though you know she may never love you back?”
“Yeah. That sums it up.” Put simply, it really was what he needed to do. He wiped away a few tears, getting a hold on his emotions for a bit.
“Is she in love with someone else?”
Ren barely held back a laugh. “I doubt it. This girl swore off love when her ‘prince’ threw her aside last year. That guy used her and her feelings as a toy, and the second she starts being ‘interesting’ to him, he comes around and shakes up her heart. If he didn’t keep coming by, I wouldn’t be in his mess.”
He shook his head and sat back down next to Bo, tired. “That guy… he really screwed her up. I’m sure it’s because of him she won’t let me compliment her looks. She can look amazing some days and on bad ones,” he raised his hands, imagining Kyoko was right in front of him, “she’s so cute and adorable I just want to hold her and keep her with me. And that’s just her looks. Her talents are amazing! She can cook like a pro, sew and craft props worthy of the stage, and she can learn almost anything in a single night. Seriously, I taught her how to do a catwalk in a single night. She’s an incredibly hard worker, honest to a fault, thoughtful and considerate, and has this cheerful energy I can’t help but get caught up in. When she smiles…”
Ren couldn’t help but smile, thinking about his love when she was happy. “Just seeing her smile is enough for me to keep coming back to her. She’s amazing. And I don’t think I could live without at least seeing that again.
“Kyoko-chan’s smile means everything to me.”
In his mind, Ren could see his love smiling at him at so many times in his life. When he brought her his eating videos, at the Thank You party when he gave her the queen rose, when she saw him again as ‘Corn’, when he gave her back their stone, when she promised to get him to the studio on time, when she gave him the wine jelly, her excitedly talking about his father as her own, even when they were kids just playing by a stream. He wanted to see his beloved pixie princess happy no matter what.
Which won’t happen around him again unless he fixed this.
Crap. He just said her name too.
“So… you really love her then?”
Hopefully the chicken didn’t catch on to that. Ren looked down awkwardly. “Yeah. I do.”
“Wow…”
Both of them stayed silent for a minute or so before Ren got the courage to speak again. “So, any ideas on how I can get her to talk to me again?”
Bo coughed lightly, clearing his throat. “Right! Right… Well…”
He had no clue, didn’t he. The bird coughed again and straightened. “Can’t say I have much experience in this part, but… have you tried sending flowers and a note yet? Or found another way to get a message to talk – just talk – to her? Maybe she just needs you to show how sincerely you want to make up.”
“I’m not sure if flowers would make it past the door.” The thought had occurred to him, but with how Kotonami and her landlords behaved, it was likely they’d keep the flowers away from her. And sending a mountain of them would be overkill and she’d probably hate that too, since she wouldn’t let him spend that much on her when they did shop together. It made buying gifts for Kyoko rather frustrating. But a note? Maybe if he made a video file? Or snuck it into her locker at work? He had to be discrete or she’d let him have it for being so bold. “And she’s not answering my calls. I’ve must have tried fifty times by now.”
“Well, make it fifty-one then. And keep trying.” Bo swung himself up onto his feet and turned to face him. “Honestly, I think you’re on the right track. If you’re as honest with her as you’ve been to me, I see nothing but roses for you.”
For a second Ren wanted to believe it, but… He looked away, remembering past attempts. “Knowing her, I’ll just be a friend again, if I’m lucky. She has this knack for changing declarations into something else entirely.”
“I thought you said she was amazing.” For some reason, the mascot seemed a bit annoyed about that.
“She’s not without flaws. She overthinks a lot and has an amazing imagination. Both frustrating and adorable.” Ren ran a hand over his head again. “So just keep trying? That’s all you can say?”
“Keep trying and be sincere.” He could hear Bo smile as he finished. “Believe me, your luck is going to change soon enough.”
Kyoko felt like she was on eggshells for the rest of the evening and into the next day. When Tsuruga-san slipped her name, she thought she was going to have a heart attack. ‘Kyoko’ was a fairly common name after all, and he did say ‘Kyoko-chan’ when she took care of him with his fever, so he could have meant some other Kyoko. He did call her ‘Mogami-san’ after all. He didn’t have to be talking about her.
He didn’t call her fifty times either.
Only forty-seven.
And he didn’t call after last night.
Sighing, Kyoko kept an eye out for flowers and notes and calls and texts anyway. Just in case. Because if he made a big scene just to talk to her and crush what little dignity or hope she had left, she was going to take one or all of his dolls and hang them around her room for target practice.
So far no sign of anything.
She tried to not feel depressed.
Eventually, Kyoko made it to LME’s LoveMe staff room and started giving up her hopes of hearing her sempai having any feelings about her or maybe wanting to explain his act–
The second she opened her locker, a small bouquet presented itself. Small and beautiful.
Her heart stopped as she stared at it, recognizing each leaf and flower. Yew, Sweet William, Star of Bethlehem, Mums, Christmas Rose, Primrose, Filbert, Camilla, Violets, and Carnations. Tears welled in her eyes as she shakily reached out and found the note for her among the very apologetic and love swearing bouquet. Tsuruga Ren’s neat writing was on the card and that was all she needed to see for everything in her to give way.
Forget waiting for the fifty-first call.
It was her turn to call him.
END