Work Text:
After rescuing Killua from the clutches of the Zoldyck family, Gon and his friends were walking around one of the quaint cities near Kukuroo Mountain. Kurapika was trying to learn one of Gotoh's special coin moves, Gon and Killua were playing rock paper scissors, and Leorio was on the lookout for a place to buy some supplies. From the corner of his eye, he spotted a large warehouse-like building with the words "COSTCO WHOLESALE" on the front. As a college student who often bought in bulk, Leorio felt a jolt of excitement.
"Guys!" Leorio shouted pointing at Costco.
Gon was mid-skip when he turned around. "What is it Leorio?"
Kurapika shot an annoyed glance as Leorio's outburst messed up his coin trick. Leorio gleefully looked at them, whipping out his wallet. "You know how we're looking for some supplies for the rest of our journey right? Well, you see that place over there?" He jabbed a thumb at Costco. "That is the perfect place!"
Kurapika rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Unless the entire Phantom Troupe is tied up there one hit away from death holding your medical school diploma while Gon's father is sitting down next to them, I highly doubt it is 'perfect' for our goals. But of course with a simple mind like yours-"
"Well, there's other useful stuff," Leorio sighed, giving his friend a dirty look. "Like food... and chocolate."
Killua's ears perked up and he suddenly appeared next to Leorio. "Did someone say... CHOCOLATE?" The Zoldyck child's face looked exactly like that fish from Spongebob who really liked chocolate. "Well, what are we waiting for? Do you want to go, Gon?"
Gon had no idea what Costco was, but was always in the mood for adventures. He gave a large thumbs up and had a devious look in his eyes. "On one condition... I'll race you there, Killua!"
The snowy haired boy laughed pridefully. "By the time you get there, I'll be an old man like my grandpa." The two boys ran off toward Costco as Leorio turned to Kurapika, ripping off his jacket. "Looks like we don't have a choice, eh Kurapika? I'll race you there. Just like the good old times?"
Kurapika smirked. "Just like the Hunter Exam. Remember that I ran faster than you, Leorio."
Leorio's temple twitched in annoyance and he grit his teeth. "We'll see, Kurapika! I won't go easy on you just because we're friends now!"
They took off after their friends, running through the town. Killua, with his natural talent for speediness reached the entrance of Costco first with Gon pouting after him. "No fair Killua," Gon whined, "You played dirty. That was totally a head start."
"I was taught never to hesitate as an assassin," Killua had his hands behind his head and was snickering. He confidently walked to the entrance of Costco when they were stopped in their tracks by a Costco employee. He had a collared shirt, khakis, and a stance that showed he was prepared to fight. Killua assumed a defensive position himself as the employee reached out and asked, "Membership?"
Gon opened his mouth to speak but Killua stepped in front of him. "I'll handle this," Killua said, moving his hand in front of him. He extended his sharp nails as the Costco employee looked unfazed.
"I'll give you a warning. Move aside and you will get to keep your heart."
Feeling a surge in power from the Costco employee, Gon felt worried for his friend. "Killua!" he yelled.
The Costco employee smiled. "Take my heart, but spare my badge. Personally, it I were you, I'd save myself the energy. There is no way to enter this door without a Costco membership alive or dead. I should explain to you my nen ability. I am given unlimited strength and cannot die as long as I stand here to guard Costco from non-members. My resolve is unfathomable. Let me give you a taste."
Killua's eyes widened as he felt the Costco employee's bloodlust. He had no idea what the ability the man was talking about was, but he was definitely the most powerful opponent Killua had ever seen. "It's strong like Illumi's... no, even stronger. Gon we have to g-" he thought, but before he could grab Gon and run, Leorio stepped in front of them unaffected. "Sorry I was late. Kurapika decided to play dirty and leave a trap in our race. Anyways, that's enough-" Leorio's eyes flickered to the man's badge,"Carl. Here's my membership card."
Gon gasped- Leorio was a Costco member! Carl's bloodlust faded. Kurapika and Killua stared at awe in Leorio's lack of fear in the face of imminent death. The student doctor turned to his friends with a smile. "I have a Costco membership, back in college I bought all my groceries in bulk to save time!" he said cheerily. "I can't be going to the grocery store every day, don't you know!"
"Very well. I grant you access to Costco. Please note that we have a sale on table grapes in the fruit section, for the price of one you get four," Carl said stepping aside.
Gon heaved a sigh of relief as he and his friends walked together past the electronics. "I would have stopped you if you tried to kill him, Killua."
"Gon..." Killua said, his eyes wide like a cat's.
"I won't let you be a murderer. That's not who you are! You're Killua, and you're my best friend in the whole world!" Gon proclaimed, loud enough everyone at Costco could hear it.
"Quiet down, you're embarrassing me!" Killua was blushing furiously and tucked his face into his shirt.
“Funny that the one worried about being embarrassed almost killed an employee doing their job,” Kurapika mused.
Killua looked away grumpily. “You saw his aura. He’s as powerful as my brother! Anyways Gon what do you need to buy here? We don’t have any money.”
Leorio snapped his fingers together. "Ah and that is the beauty of Costco," he said, his expression similar to when he talked of money. "There's free samples galore to those who seek them, a free meal to a hungry student like me!"
Gon looked at Killua, "Besides, Aunt Mito sent me some extra money in a postcard!"
Leorio felt his stomach rumble, and realized he hadn't eaten because he gave most of his food rations he got from the Zoldyck butlers to the rest of the team. You know, because Leorio is so damn selfless and a real hero. "I'm going to get myself a chicken bake outside."
"If you guys want me to buy you anything, just give me a call. Man I love the chicken bake! It costs $2.99 cents and a hot dog soda combo costs you $1.50. What a steal!" Leorio walked away briskly as Kurapika's eyes narrowed.
"Fool," thought Kurapika, who had looked up the items on the way to Costco. "It is you who is actually being stolen from, Leorio. You can get a pack of six frozen Kirkland signature chicken bakes for $4.99 in the frozen isle which is approximately 83 cents apiece."
"Kurapika!" Gon said, yanking on his friend's sleeve. "Killua and I are going to go looking for the free samples Leorio talked about. Will you come with us?"
Kurapika was in a pensive mood. Being with his friends quelled the rage he was trying to remember, the rage of having all 128 of his clan members slain for their eyes. He could still hear the cries of his brethren in his nightmares, calling out to him to avenge them and bring back his eyes. Even in Costco, the thought of his massacred clan sullied his mood. "You go ahead without me, Gon. I want to spend some time exploring for myself."
He turned away from his friends to conceal the light going out in his eyes. Gon and Killua waved good bye to Kurapika and walked around Costco. It was a huge store, larger than any building in Whale Island. Killua had seen larger buildings of course, but was impressed by the variety. "Killua!" Gon pointed at the fish. "There's more fish here than the ones in Whale Island."
Killua wrinkled his nose. "They're smelly," he said. Gon inspected the fish gingerly. "I've caught fish way bigger than this. But I can't say I can catch this many in a single day. The fisherman here must be really fast! I wonder what sort of guy Costco-san is!"
Killua and Gon finally came across the pastries section. There were so many different cakes and pies on display and the section was larger than the local Whale Island bakery. "Amazing... Costco-san can bake and fish!"
Killua rolled his eyes. "This isn't the work of one person." He inspected the large apple pie, examining the handiwork.
Gon looked at Killua in disbelief. "How do you know?"
Killua gave a loud hmph. "An assassin is trained to spot handiwork. Like how my father can tell if a knife is a Ben's knife or not I can determine how many different people worked on something. This is a corporation."
"Killua, you're incredible! What's a corporation?" Gon said, interested. Coming from such a small fishing island, Gon never understood capital markets.
"I'll tell you if you stop complimenting me," Killua blushed and looked away. "Anyways Gon, let me tell you about capitalism, multinational corporations and contrast it with small island economics."
As Killua was educating Gon whose brain was indubitably overheating, Kurapika decided to step outside for fresh air to clear his head. Meanwhile at the food court, Leorio was thoroughly enjoying his chicken bake when he was approached by Kurapika. "Kurapika!" Leorio said his mouth full of chicken, dressing, and dough. "D-do you want a bite?"
Kurapika winced, looking at Leorio's mouth with crumbs and sauce on it and his outstretched hand.
"No," Kurapika said steely. "I decided not to waste my time with the food court and just wanted to make sure nothing happened to you. I'll go back inside now. Just needed some fresh air."
The young Kurta had been acting a bit odd lately. Leorio dug his hand in his pocket.
"Here take this," Leorio tossed his membership card. "You'll need it to go back inside Costco. Also I can tell you're a bit stressed over your job, you don't need to tell me. Go buy yourself something on my card."
"Leorio I-"
"You'll need some snacks on your mission. The other one," Leorio said quietly. "Don't think I can't read you, Kurapika."
Kurapika turned his back. He wanted to say thank you to Leorio, but his heart told him to stay away from such an attachment. Leorio was looking forward to a future of doing charitable things for other people, and he was undoubtedly going to become a murderer.
As Kurapika was going through it, Killua and Gon encountered their first sample booth. "Chocolate robots!" the lady with a hairnet yelled. "I got chocolate robots! They come in packs of 12 for your next soccer house party!"
Killua's mouth started watering and a trance came over him. Chocolate Robots were Killua's favorite snack, an amenity he would gladly spend all his Heavens Arena earnings on. Gon smiled happily, as he always wanted to try Chocolate Robots. Immediately appearing in front of the woman with a flash, Killua appeared at the table, his face excited. "I will take all of the samples," he declared.
"Oh I'm so sorry sweetheart," the lady said pointing at a sign. The sign said "CHILDREN MUST BE ACCOMPANIED WITH A PARENT."
Killua glared at the lady. "Why you-"
"Killua!" Gon grabbed his friend's hand. Killua looked down at Gon's hand and flushed angrily. "Gon I was just going to-"
"You saw what the sign said! I don't think we can get samples. I don't even know where my parents are," Gon said sadly. "Aunt Mito is the only mom I've ever known and you know we still cannot find my dad. So I guess these free samples are only for children who have parents," Gon said, his voice sounding a bit sad.
Killua could not bear to see Gon sad, but Gon looked far from it. In fact, he looked determined.
"And I don't think your mom or dad would be helpful here. But I thought of another way we could get past this! We could trick them into thinking we have a parent. When I saw the moms with their kids I noticed a lot of them had a certain hairstyle! I realized we could fool them!"
Killua could recognize that blonde bob anywhere. "They look just like Kurapika's hairstyle! We could find Kurapika... and say he is our mom."
Mischief was written all over Killua's face. "Gon, use that super sensitive nose of yours to sniff out Kurapika! We'll find him in no time!"
At the fruit isle, Kurapika was looking at the table grapes that Carl the Costco employee had mentioned. The fruit section was so cold, odorless, and dry- a depressing landscape that matched how Kurapika felt in his head. "I see why they're for sale. They're bruised, broken, beaten on their journey." Kurapika said sadly. "As if their resolve had given way."
Kurapika's heart was filled with emptiness, until a voice called to him.
"KURAPIKAAA!"
Kurapika was woken from his momentary descent into darkness by Gon's voice. "Gon! Killua! What are you doing here?" Kurapika exclaimed.
"We need you, come with us!" Gon and Killua pulled on Kurapika's arms, dragging him along with them. "Only you can help us!"
Friends. The one thing in Kurapika's life that dragged him back up to the surface whenever he felt as if he was drowning in the cries of his brethren. His friends, who made his journey to becoming a hunter possible. An unexplained warmth filled the Kurta's heart. "Anything, Gon. Let me know where I can help you," he said, taking Gon's hands. The young boy's eyes radiated like the sun. Whatever ideas Gon had, he was someone who really thought creatively and out of the box.
"Kurapika, you need to pretend to be our mom."
"Your what?" Kurapika was floored as Killua and Gon looked at him pleadingly.
"Killua wanted chocolate robots but they told him that he needs a parent. I saw all these children with their moms..." Gon began.
"Say no more Gon," Kurapika said.
I'll do it- for my friends! Kurapika was finally filled with a purpose apart from revenge.
Kurapika used to think of himself as prideful but his time with friends made him realize, when it came to them, he did not mind inconveniencing himself. "I'll be the most convincing mother ever," Kurapika thought of his own mom. "The best mom Gon and Killua could ever ask for."
The soccer moms were still gathered around the booth trying to bargain with the sampler at the front for more free samples. "Excuse me, ma'am," Kurapika said. "I'd like to get three samples for me and my children."
"I'm so sorry but we just ran out."
Kusari Yarou played on the loudspeaker and Kurapika felt like reaching for his bokken. Beneath his contacts, Kurapika's eyes burned scarlet. He thought of Gon and Killua's sad eyes looking back at him, and continued channeling his inner mother. Killua and Gon began to tremble sensing Kurapika's murderous intent.
"I know this isn't your fault so I will speak to a higher authority. Can I speak to your manager?" Kurapika demanded.
The lady began to sweat. This woman... she was one of THOSE moms. She also looked pretty young to be a mother, but the lady had to admit this young mother was quite beautiful. Kurapika pressed forward. "How could you deny these sweets to my adopted children. One of them has albinism as you can see. Is this how you treat children who are different?"
"Ma'am, I'm calling my manager now."
Kurapika felt a twinge of regret. It really wasn't her fault- he let his anger take a hold of him. "Please excuse me, I'm just a caring mother."
The lady handed the phone to Kurapika. "Hello? Who is speaking?" a voice on the other line said.
"My name is... Karen. Karen Pika," Kurapika said calmly.
"Ah Karen, well thank you for calling. We are currently trying to restock the Chocolate Robots as fast as we can. Also your son doesn't happen to be the one with white hair is he? He gave me a bit of grief..."
Kurapika gasped. Carl was not just an employee, but the manager! No one man could have so much power.
"Well," Kurapika started but then clenched his fist. "I taught my boy how to stand up for himself in this cruel world!"
That was something his own mother would have said.
"Well Karen you're in luck. I ran into your husband here, Leonard."
Kurapika blushed angrily. Husband? "I-"
"Yo... Karen," Leorio's voice was on the other line. "No need to fight these people, I overheard what was going on an intervened myself. Tell our children not to worry and go enjoy the other samples. Papa has bought the rest of the Chocolate Robots in stock!"
Kurapika was so stunned he almost dropped the phone. Gon and Killua had never seen him like this.
"Honey?" Leorio said in response to the Kurta's silence.
Did Leorio think he couldn't handle himself again? Kurapika scowled. "I refuse to call you anything but Leorio. I will accompany Gon and Killua to retrieve samples and meet you in front of the store. And one more thing... do not call me honey ever again."
Leorio sighed. Kurapika could pretend to be a mother of two but could not even pretend to love him. Before he could speak again, Kurapika hung up.
"Leorio is just trying to help!" Gon said.
"How long have you two been married?" the lady asked. "I totally feel you Karen."
"One minute too long," Kurapika snapped. The lady nodded in solidarity. "Girl, I feel you. My man never thinks I can lock it down at home and is always calling. I'm sure he cares for you, but that's so annoying. Go show him how it's done Karen!"
Gon decided to play around and also defend Leorio. "Our dad just cares a lot, he's a doctor!"
"A doctor? Damn, get it Karen!"
Kurapika was flustered. "That's enough Gon, let's go. Thank you, I sincerely appreciate it," he put a hand on his heart and put his hands on Gon and Killua steering them away. Killua was so excited.
"Leorio is the best dad ever!" Killua cheered. "We didn't even need to kill anyone, Gon!"
"Hooray!" Gon said, completely unfazed by his best friend's predisposition to consider murder a valid option due to his horrific and difficult upbringing as an assassin. "Costco is so fun Killua!"
With Kurapika, Gon and Killua sampled many different types of hoers d'oevres. Killua had many different types of ice creams and sweets and kept coming back for more, threatening others around him with his assassin hand. Kurapika tastes were a bit stranger than the children's due to being raised in a reclusive, nomadic clan found his favorite to be the bacon wrapped date. "Ew," Killua said looking at it. "It's a fruit covered in meat!"
Kurapika smiled. "It reminds me of something I ate before... back in the forest."
"Kurapika," Gon protested. "You should have some fun too, even if you're pretending to be our mom! Aunt Mito is a good example of a fun mom! She used to go fishing and climbing with me back on Whale Island!"
Fun? Kurapika hadn't thought of his own fun in a while. He remembered the trouble he and Pairo would get into and their adventures. Spying a cart, Kurapika snapped his fingers. Indulging in his inner child, Kurapika, Gon, and Killua took turns pushing each other around in a cart. Before the Kurta clan massacre, Kurapika was a lot like Gon- he loved doing crazy things that would often put him in danger. After Pairo's accident, he became more reserved.
"Pairo," Kurapika thought as he told Gon and Killua to push him as hard as possible out the entrance like a madman, "You would have loved being here at Costco with us." He was grinning like a madman and thought of doing this again, but standing up and adding a second cart. Kurapika really had a wild streak.
Gon and Killua were unsure if Kurapika had safety in mind when making that request, but decided to indulge their friend. "Gon... I don't think that was a good idea."
"Killua, look at how happy Kurapika is! I've never seen him- oh no Killua! There's a car!"
Kurapika held on to the cart as it sped up to the parking lot, when he realized. "Oh, I'm in danger."
A speeding Prius flashed before his eyes along with Killua and Gon yelling "KURAPIKA!" loudly. Kurapika's entire life flashed before his eyes when he felt something pull him back. A strong hand was on his shoulder and Leorio was looking at him with a smoldering gaze.
"Leorio!" Gon said, running toward the man who caught the cart cleanly. The extremely ugly Prius breezed by silently (as it should since it is a hybrid-electric vehicle), blowing Kurapika's bangs over his eyes.
"Looks like you had fun at Costco too, Kurapika," Leorio said bracingly.
"Anyways, while you were all out having fun, I had to be the grown up of the team and bought all the supplies we needed. Thankfully I have another Costco card," Leorio said.
"Wow you are so cool," Gon said gleefully. "Thanks Leorio!"
"Where's the chocolate?" Killua asked, his hands on his hips.
The young student doctor laughed. "So impatient!" Leorio remarked. He stepped aside to reveal a cart full of chocolate robots. Killua immediately went into :3 mode. "You won't eat just chocolate, right Killua?" Gon said, worried about his friend. "You haven't eaten real food in a while."
"Zoldycks can go weeks without eating food, Gon!" Killua said.
Collapsing in chocolate heaven, Killua Zoldyck had never been happier save for the day he left home and clawed his mom and Milluki. "Thank you Leorio," chorused Gon and Killua.
Kurapika looked away tsunderely. "Thank you, Leorio." he said begrudgingly. "For saving my life." Leorio beamed at the three, his heart full of love. He started out his journey scared of even having a friend with fear he'd lose them like before, but ended up with three people who felt like family to him. Even if they were just a pretend family, it felt real to all of them.
"Yosh! To the train station for our next adventure!" Leorio said, briefcase in tow while Killua lifted the entire cart over his head with Gon.
"You sure you can handle that Killua?" Kurapika said worried.
"Oh trust me. It's faster this way," snicked Killua.
And so Killua with his superhuman strength and speed carried the shopping cart holding all of his best friends in the world in it. They ran off into the sunset and everyone was full of smiles, especially Kurapika.
