Chapter Text
Somehow I feel as though your acceptance alone is my salvation.
The first time she set her eyes on Rhea, something within her had stirred. Moved her non-beating heart. She felt curiosity, and a deep yearning to learn more. A distant, vague, yet insistent sense of familiarity. An inexplicable warmth. A very tangible sensation of being overwhelmed by the grace and divinity that this woman exuded.
“Watch out for Lady Rhea,” her father had warned her. “I don’t know what she’s planning, making you a professor like this. Best be on your guard.” Byleth had nodded solemnly, as she always did, and yet her last thoughts as she went to sleep that night were of the magnificent Archbishop that she had met earlier that day.
As she carried out her duties as a new member of the Church of Seiros, and professor of the Black Eagle house, Byleth found herself gravitating toward Lady Rhea more and more each day. Every long Sunday that she spent exploring the monastery, and even when she was leading her students through side-missions, or attending a seminary, her thoughts would always drift to Lady Rhea, one moment or another.
She’d pressed Sothis for details about her, once or twice. “I told you that I don’t know a thing! Goodness, you’re so stubborn!” the girl had chided in her head. Sothis had made it quite clear that Rhea was puzzling, and, inexplicably, a source of irritation to her. It seemed that the girl would be of no help after all. Sothis had teased her about her questions too, of course. “I don’t know why you’re so insistent on learning about that woman, anyway. She gives me such a strange feeling. I don’t trust her.”
Following her mission at the Holy Mausoleum, Byleth protected the Sword of the Creator from being stolen by thieves. When she held it in her hand, the sword glowed red, its ancient power awakening. She had planned on returning it, but to her surprise, Rhea asked that she keep it, entrusting her with the task of using its power for good.
The same question that Seteth asked earlier rang over and over in her head. Why was Rhea so willing to trust her? Not only had she been made a professor on such quick notice, but now she was being entrusted with an incredibly powerful weapon of old. She’d hardly done anything worthy of such privileges. Yes, she had taken well to her role at the Academy, and her students liked and trusted her, but none of it seemed enough to warrant the merit that Rhea supposedly saw in her.
Rhea seemed overjoyed every time Byleth paid her a visit on Sundays. Her face would light up with a small yet expressive smile. Sometimes Byleth would ask for training in sword or faith, which she would happily grant. Sometimes she would bring her gifts. And heavens, if something didn’t bubble up within her whenever Rhea would smile and say, “oh, I adore this.”
Things changed the first time that Rhea invited her into her personal quarters. The room was vast, but quite simplistic. Decorations were minimal. For some reason she had expected the Archbishop’s quarters to be a bit more… lavish. She stepped into it carefully, and once she did, Rhea said that while Byleth was in there, she was no longer the Archbishop, but simply Rhea. It seemed difficult to separate the two, when the woman before her looked just as regal and magnificent as she always did - robes and headdress and all.
Still, every second that Byleth spent with her - alone with her - was a delight. To hear that melodious, soothing voice, telling her stories and giving her little compliments. Rhea had a magnetism about her that made Byleth long to be near her. And not leave once she was. She was hiding something, Byleth knew. It was quite plain. There were a great many somethings veiled by Rhea’s smiles, her voice. Pain, sorrow, despair, possibly regret. Byleth wanted to ask, and yet knew that she must not. If ever she was going to find out the secrets that Rhea harbored, then she would hear them whenever she was ready and willing to divulge.
The nightmares that she used to have in the past seemed to be significantly exacerbated ever since she began wielding the Sword of the Creator. Sometimes it would just be Sothis talking to her, telling her all sorts of things that she would inevitably forget upon opening her eyes. Sometimes she was in that battlefield again. An imposing, terrifying-looking man, clashing swords with a woman with long green hair and eyes full of wrath. Sometimes there was nothing but darkness - a suffocating darkness that threatened to swallow her whole and trap her in its eternal torment. She tried to steel her emotions, and fight to not let the dreams get to her. Yet even so, she felt their weight pushing down on her shoulders, sometimes.
She opened up about them during one of her visits to Rhea. It was hardly a surprise that Rhea suspected that she may have been having bad dreams before she even said a word about it. Did Rhea truly know more about her than she did about herself? It seemed entirely possible. There were so many strange gaps in her memories, after all.
A thought occurred to her after she’d told Rhea about her nightmares.
She had never opened up like this to anyone before. None of her students or her closest allies. Nobody. And yet with Rhea, the words just naturally fell from her mouth. She told her about the battlefield, about the young girl, the strange premonitions. Rhea told her that it all likely had something to do with the effects of the Sword of the Creator, and that she would be there should Byleth need anything, always. Once again, Byleth felt her warmth somewhere deep within. Every word Rhea spoke seemed to have such a profound effect on her.
And there was more to it, too. Rhea’s deep green eyes, that seemed to hide so much beneath them. Her silken-looking skin. Her flowing green hair. Everything about her was just so…
That evening in Rhea’s quarters, Byleth let slip something that she might possibly come to regret. She gave her familiar short smile, and murmured,
“I’m very glad to have met you, Lady Rhea.”
Rhea breathed in with what appeared to be fondness, then looked straight into Byleth’s eyes, and responded,
“As I am glad to have you here, my dear one. I feel so very blessed.”
Those words resonated in Byleth’s mind as she laid down to rest that night. She could not shake off the sweet timbre of Rhea’s voice, or the fond words that she spoke.
Losing Jeralt had a profound impact on Byleth. As he lay motionless in her arms, and rain began to pour down on them, she shed the first tears of her life.
She wasn’t used to feeling such strong emotions. So many of them whirled inside her, bitter and dark and intense, like a storm. Grief, anger, remorse, self-hatred. A thirst for revenge. The somber rain that washed over her seemed to mirror how she felt within.
Her students and colleagues tried their best to comfort her. They offered words of comfort, a listening ear, even sweets or cups of tea. They were very kind, and she was thankful for their efforts, but they did little to soothe her weeping soul. Most of the time, all she wanted to do was shut herself in her quarters, and be alone.
Well. As alone as she could be, when Sothis was always with her.
“If you must weep, then weep,” the girl had said, her voice gentle, lacking its usual, higher-pitched bite. “I am here for you.”
If Sothis had a body of her own, Byleth thought, then she might have wanted to embrace her. It was highly out of character for her, she knew, and yet she felt a strong longing to have arms around her.
She found herself mindlessly wandering the monastery by late afternoon. She simply walked, letting her legs take her wherever they would. When the shadow cast by the towers loomed over her, she turned to the northeast. To one of the highest of them, where the Archbishop’s quarters and the Star Terrace were. Her chest tightened. She wanted to see Rhea.
“Oh, my sweet child,” Rhea cooed at her. “Come here.” She reached out, and when Byleth stepped forward, she gently wrapped her arms around her. Byleth melted into her embrace. Rhea had such a strange warmth to her. Even her scent was pleasant. Comforting. Vaguely familiar. The emotions welling within her threatened to burst out, and she could only rein them in so much. She shed one, two silent tears onto Rhea’s fine robes.
“I can imagine how you must be feeling, my dear one. The pain of losing one’s family is stronger than any other in this world.”
“He was all I had,” Byleth muttered, fighting to not break into sobs.
“I know, I know.” Rhea smoothed her hands up and down Byleth’s back - a delicate, yet deeply meaningful affection. “The void he left in your heart may never truly be filled again, but… please, know that you are not alone. We, at the monastery, have all come to cherish you as though you were family. We are here for you. I, am here for you.”
Usually, when Rhea spoke to her, Byleth was left with a vague, yet persistent feeling that she was hiding something. Holding something back. That she was being truthful, but not fully honest. But here, now, Rhea’s words seemed to reach her very soul. She knew little of Rhea, of her past or who she was. But it didn’t matter, then. That tender, fleeting moment - that was real. And it brought warmth to Byleth’s cold, still heart.
Though Byleth had initially thought that the ball of the Ethereal Moon was untimely, given the bleak circumstances, she could not deny that she ended up having quite a lovely time. She had planned to watch her students enjoy themselves from afar, but of course, she could not say no when Claude invited her to a dance. Many eyes were fixed on her as they made their way across the dancefloor; and, surprisingly, it wasn’t such a bad feeling. Jeralt had made a few comments in the past about how much she had changed since coming to the monastery. How well she had taken to her new life. In that moment, feeling a simple joy at being the center of attention, she couldn’t help but think that he was right. Once a woman who had always preferred to stick to the shadows, now she found herself feeling quite content surrounded by the students’ gazes.
Yet, as the night went on, she could not help but notice the lack of presence of one archbishop. Rhea likely had very good reasons to not partake in the festivities, but Byleth still wished that she could share a dance with her, too. To be close to Rhea, holding her by the waist, their bodies gently swaying to the rhythm of the music… Picturing such a thing brought a flush to Byleth’s cheeks. Perhaps it was a good time for her to take a goblet of wine for herself.
Towards the end of the night, Byleth was quite worn out. Sothis, of course, chided her for it, speaking of how much she wished she could dance the night away had she a body of her own. That whimsical little comment brought a smile to Byleth’s face, until… something distracted her. A soft, dulcet voice, singing a melody somewhere close by.
She was hesitant, at first, but Sothis urged her to follow the sound. She walked until she spotted Rhea herself, facing the vast view of the bridge to the Goddess Tower. She was singing. Singing a sweet, silvery verse.
♪ In time’s flow… see the glow of flames ever burning bright.
On the swift river’s drift… broken memories alight… ♪
The sound drew her in. Such a lovely voice. Such a sweet melody. Gentle, yet moving, like waves washing upon a shore. Striking, yet subtle, like the last rays of shine just before the sunset.
Rhea looked beautiful. Standing there, bathed by the white light of the stars and the moon, she might have been an angel. She smiled, warm as always, when she detected Byleth coming towards her.
“My, what a surprise to see you here, at this hour,” she said. “I imagined your students would keep you quite busy.”
Byleth’s expression didn’t change. “They have been. But…”
Hesitation. A truly rare thing, for her. Rhea tilted her head expectantly.
“Something was missing.”
“Oh? And what might that have been?”
Byleth took another step, coming just a little closer to her.
“You.”
Rhea widened her eyes, then laughed softly. “Oh, my dear one. This event is for the students. I’m quite sure that they are not missing me.”
Byleth clutched one of her fists at her side. How could she convey to Rhea was she was feeling? How could she possibly find the right words? She had never been good with those, after all.
“Well I… missed you.”
The way Rhea smiled then, made Byleth feel as though every cell in her body became paralyzed. Adrenaline rushed through her body.
“I missed you too, Professor. Very much.”
Rhea turned her head, seeming to gaze at the moon.
“I must admit that, despite all of tonight’s festivities, I’ve not shared a dance with anyone. Would you care to join me?”
She extended her hand out, complimenting her invitation. For a short moment, Byleth looked at it. Rhea’s palm reaching out to her, exposing its subtle scars and imperfections. In that moment, there wasn't a doubt in her mind. Rhea was the most amazing woman that she had ever met. To be offered a chance to dance with her now, and during such a special occasion…
She gently took Rhea’s hand.
“I... would be honored to.”
Rhea’s smile widened, and they took a few silent steps towards the Goddess Tower.
Holding Rhea’s hand made sparks of electricity race through Byleth’s veins. The gesture was subtle, and yet it affected her so. She could feel her entire body tense, the hairs on her arms stand on edge as they walked together.
The Goddess Tower was quiet and empty when they arrived. Byleth had expected to come across at least one or two couples of lovestruck students upon their arrival, and yet, they were alone. She felt that sensation again. Like her stomach was doing summersaults.
Rhea sighed, looking up above her head. Smiling.
“Such a beautiful night. The goddess has blessed us with such clear skies.”
Indeed, there was hardly a cloud to be found in the night sky. The moon and stars cast their light upon them, bright and clear. Bathed in that light, Rhea was so beautiful. Her eyes seemed to sparkle even more than they usually did. She had always seemed ethereal, almost otherworldly. But now…
She turned to her again.
“Shall we?”
Byleth nodded.
Rhea took one of her hands, lacing their fingers together. Her other one went to Byleth’s shoulder, while Byleth held her waist. Even at such a distance, they could still clearly hear the ballad being played in the reception hall. With an easy, perfectly natural step, they began to move together.
Aside from the music in the distance, and the sound of their steps, the Goddess Tower was so silent. As they stood there, swaying gently to the music, Byleth could almost forget all else. Like there was nothing in the world but the two of them. The two of them, alone save for the silver light and the watchful eye of the goddess.
Rhea chuckled as they moved. “You are quite an accomplished dancer. Did Jeralt teach you this, too?”
“Not important,” Byleth said. What’s important is the here and now, she thought.
“Hm. Cryptic as ever, I see.”
Though there was much to admire about being so close to Rhea as they danced, a few things caught Byleth’s particular attention. First, how bright and gleaming Rhea’s eyes were. Their lovely mint color brought such a strange sense of familiarity. Then there were her hands. Yet again, she noted how soft they felt. How her nails were so perfectly manicured. And her long, shining hair. How beautifully it flowed when she moved. She was every bit a living angel. Too good, too beautiful, for the sullen world they lived in.
“Lost in thought?” asked Rhea.
Byleth blinked. “A bit.” Lost in you.
In the distance, the band played the final note in the song. Though the proper step would have been for the dancers to separate and bow before each other, Rhea and Byleth didn’t move. They held their pose, regarding each other.
Rhea smiled at her. “Thank you for joining me tonight, dear one. I believe I will sleep a great deal better than I would have otherwise.”
Byleth’s emotions stirred within her. Fire coursed through her veins and set her body alight.
“Rhea.”
“Hm?”
She searched for the right words to say. Searched for them in the depth of Rhea’s eyes. But they didn’t come to her. Perhaps it was her inexperience. Perhaps her unusual upbringing. Or, perhaps, she just wasn’t cut out for this sort of thing at all.
“I… am happy that we could dance together.”
Rhea’s eyes went wide for just a fraction of a second, before she let out a characteristic, gentle laugh.
“As am I. Let us retire then, shall we?”
Byleth nodded. They walked together on their way back to the reception hall, until the spot where they would need to go separate ways to reach their quarters.
Byleth looked at her, uneasy, like there were a thousand and one words clogged behind her throat.
“Have a good night, sweet one.”
“You.. too.”
And then she was gone.
Byleth’s room had never felt so empty, her bed and sheets so cold. Though light from the moon was pouring in through her window, she felt as though she was laying in pitch black darkness. She scoffed, hardly able to believe how ridiculous she was being. Yet, despite her best efforts, her last thoughts before sleep claimed her, were that of Rhea’s smile, and of their bodies moving together to the music.