Chapter Text
Erica ran through the preserve like the hounds of hell themselves were chasing after her, she could feel Boyd’s presence at her side, knew that he was running just as fast, both of them glancing over their shoulders every few seconds to make sure that they weren’t being followed, that their hunters hadn’t caught up with them just yet. Her sides were hurting, one leg still bleeding, not quite healed yet, she couldn’t catch her breath, she was exhausted but the terror she felt gave her all the motivation she needed to keep moving, to keep running, if they were caught, they would both be killed.
Boyd watched as Erica stumbled on an old tree root, grabbing hold of her arm to stop her falling completely, he took a moment to steady her, looking around at their surroundings and focusing on the sound of a river nearby, he sighed in relief.
“Come on, there’s a river less than half a mile ahead, if we can cross that, they won’t be able to track us, we can find somewhere to hide, to heal.” He whispered, Erica gritted her teeth, ignoring the throbbing in her leg and straightened up as best she could, nodding in determination as Boyd pulled them both forwards, through the preserve, through the freezing cold river that left her teeth chattering, until, finally, they found a small cave in the rocks ahead of them. Boyd led her inside, sinking to the floor next to her and catching his breath, examining his own injuries, at least they were healing, he knew that. They just needed time to heal properly, he only hoped that their captors were too busy with everything else going on to worry about trying to track them down.
Derek stared around the warehouse in shock, he didn’t know how it had come to this, he didn’t know where his life had gone so wrong, he should have been living in his own house, one that he’d built with his own hands out in the preserve somewhere, he should have been going over to his mom and dad’s house a few times a week for dinner, maybe dating somebody, a woman or man, it didn’t really make that much difference to him, so long as it was somebody who cared about him, who Derek loved just as much in return. But, no. That wasn’t how things had gone.
He guessed he could pinpoint the moment things started to go downhill for him, it was the moment he met Kate Argent. Sometimes he thought it was before that, when his first girlfriend Paige died at his hands, Derek hadn’t wanted her to die, he’d wanted to spend his life with her, that had all been ended by a simple bite. Peter had thought he was doing the right thing, asking the Alpha Ennis to bite Paige, to turn her into a werewolf, Derek had agreed with him at first, thinking that if Paige was a werewolf then they could finally be together without any secrets between them, he’d changed his mind, realised it was the wrong thing to do, he’d tried to stop Ennis, but he was too late. Paige had been bitten and Ennis had left her in the middle of the school hall like a piece of trash, Derek had hated him in that moment, his mother had always taught him that anybody you gave the bite to became part of your pack, that the bite was a gift, if Ennis had been any kind of Alpha he would have taken care of Paige, not just left her there like she was nothing.
It hadn’t taken Derek long to realise that Paige wasn’t going to survive the bite, that it was going to kill her, he’d taken her to the old root cellar and they’d held each other for as long as they could, until Paige had begged for him to end it and Derek had hugged her tightly, holding her as gently as he could before snapping her neck and killing her instantly. He’d cried, holding Paige’s body, he’d cried until his mother and older sister, Laura, had both appeared down in the cellar, hugging him, telling him it was all going to be okay even though he had no idea how it was ever going to be okay. He’d spent weeks, months, grieving for Paige and that was when Kate Argent had appeared in his life and things had gone from bad to worse.
Within a year of Paige’s death, practically Derek’s entire family was dead, his mom, his dad, his three younger sisters, two aunties, four uncles, eight cousins, all dead, burned alive in a fire started by someone he’d trusted. Peter was alive but barely, he was in a coma in the hospital and the doctors thought he’d never wake up, Laura was now his Alpha, his protector, and she grabbed him tight and they ran, left their home, their territory, they ran until they couldn’t run any further and they spent the next six years looking over their shoulders, convinced that Kate would be back to finish the job she’d started.
Derek hadn’t known she was a werewolf hunter, hadn’t known she was part of the family that hunted and killed werewolves indiscriminately, it didn’t matter that Derek’s family had never hurt a single human, it didn’t matter that his mother, Talia Hale, was the most respected Alpha out of all the packs across the country, all that mattered was that they were werewolves and therefore they were monsters. Kate had used him, seduced him, convinced him to spill secrets on his families lives and Derek had been too stupid to see otherwise, and because of that, his entire family were dead. He vowed never to be so stupid again, to never open up to anyone again, to never trust anyone again.
He slept around, a lot, always making sure he was the one in control, never giving anyone the chance to hurt him again, it allowed him to blow off some steam, but, none of them ever meant anything, just a way to try and forget for a few minutes that he was responsible for the death of everyone he cared about. Laura argued with him about it a lot, she kept telling him that he could do better, that he deserved better, that he just needed to trust somebody, to let somebody in, but, how could he? No matter how many times Laura told him that it wasn’t his fault, it never changed the fact that, for Derek, it would always be his fault, his stupidity, his naivety, his gullibility, he was the reason that they were all dead. It was his fault.
They’d eventually settled in New York, it wasn’t their home, that was Beacon Hills and it always would be. They built some semblance of a life there, got jobs, a small apartment, it wasn’t what they wanted, but it was the best they could get, after all, returning to Beacon Hills with Kate still out there, it was suicide.
After six years away, Laura had returned to Beacon Hills without Derek’s knowledge, she’d told him she was going on a business trip, that she’d be back in New York soon enough, she’d barely been there a day when she was killed by a rogue wolf and Derek had crumbled as he felt the bond with her break, unable to believe that the last of his pack was gone. He’d tracked her phone, horrified when he realised where she was, traumatised that she’d gone without him, that she was now dead too, that his entire family was gone. He’d returned to Beacon Hills with rage and grief driving him, he knew it was a suicide mission, knew that he would likely die at the hands of the Alpha that had killed Laura, but he didn’t care, he’d wanted to die, wanted his suffering to end, he was fed up of losing everyone, fed up of having to continue on when it was his fault that nobody else got that chance. He’d been ready to die.
Instead he’d met two high schoolers, Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski, Scott was a freshly bitten werewolf, no doubt bitten by the rogue Alpha that was now running around Beacon Hills after murdering Laura and taking her Alpha status, and Stiles, well, Stiles was something else altogether, he’d somehow managed to guess that Scott was a werewolf before Scott himself, and it hadn’t taken him much to figure out that Derek was a werewolf too.
Derek didn’t trust him, convinced that Stiles was just trying to get close to him in order to betray him, he couldn’t be sure how, but he was certain that Stiles was trying to use him in some way or another. He was almost certain that Stiles wasn’t a hunter, not like Alison Argent, the girl that Scott had decided to start dating, something that Stiles had repeatedly told him was a bad idea, Derek agreed with him wholeheartedly but Scott wouldn’t listen to Stiles, never mind Derek.
Stiles was smart, scarily so, and he was funny and sarcastic and he always seemed to have Derek’s back, no matter what went down; when it turned out that his uncle Peter was the wolf that had killed Laura and taken her Alpha powers; when Peter tried to kill him on multiple occasions; when Kate FUCKING Argent returned to Beacon Hills and shot him with a wolfsbane bullet, poisoning him and nearly killing him, Stiles had been there. Right at his side. Doing his best to help and protect Derek. Admittedly, Stiles couldn’t do much, what with him being an ordinary sixteen-year-old kid and they were going up against werewolves and crazy hunters, but Stiles never backed down. His sense of right and wrong was incredible, he knew what was right, he knew what was wrong, once he’d made his mind up there was no changing it and he would argue with Derek, and anybody else that he had to, until they could see it too. Yeah, Stiles was pretty amazing. To top it off, to say he was kind of attractive was an understatement, he was gorgeous, Derek knew he shouldn’t be thinking that about Stiles, not when he was so young, not when it reminded him so much of Kate and himself, but, that was different, Kate had never been attracted to him, she’d just used him for fun.
Derek often thought about blowing off some steam with Stiles, often thought about what it would be like to take control of the young man and fuck him until neither of them could think straight. He didn’t though, sometimes he told himself it was because Stiles was underage and he was the son of the local sheriff and that was just asking for trouble, but, sometimes he couldn’t lie to himself, sometimes he admitted to himself it was because Stiles felt important, that he couldn’t just use him like that. It didn’t stop him from going back to New York on the occasional business trip and blowing off some steam with people that had distinct similarities with Stiles, but it wasn’t like he was going to tell anybody about that.
The more he learned about Stiles the more he became convinced that Stiles wasn’t out to betray him, after killing Peter, who had thankfully killed Kate first, and becoming the Alpha, Stiles had sat him down, told him how sorry he was, not for losing his entire family, not for Laura’s death, but because the last member of his family was dead and it was at Derek’s hands. Stiles explained that although he didn’t know what it was like to lose the last member of his family, he did know what it was like to kill one of them, Derek had stared at him like he’d lost his mind while Stiles explained that his mom had died just before he had turned eight, that she’d died convinced that Stiles was trying to kill her.
“But that doesn’t mean you actually killed her.” Derek said and Stiles shook his head, looking a little tearful but shaking his head as if that would rid them from his eyes.
“But I did. She had frontotemporal dementia, her mind was basically falling apart, and she just kept getting worse, within six months of her getting diagnosed she was in the hospital, she couldn’t remember dad, couldn’t remember them getting married or her having me, she remembered me though, every time she saw me she started ranting and raving about how I was trying to kill her. It got so bad that dad told me I couldn’t go and see her anymore. Her heart was getting weaker, under the stress, the strain of not understanding, the confusion and fear, you know, that kind of thing. Dad was working all hours of the day, I think because he didn’t want to deal with the fact mom was dying, and he really didn’t know how to deal with me, if you think I’m hyperactive now you should have seen me then. He told me to go to Scott’s house after school, but his dad picked him up early because he had a dentist’s appointment and I was left by myself after school. I decided to go to the hospital, it wasn’t far to walk, and I hadn’t seen mom in a week, I just wanted to see her, even though dad said I shouldn’t, so I went to see her. She seemed okay at first, I mean, she had no idea who I was, but she was friendly, kind, she reminded me of my mom, the woman I used to know.” Stiles paused taking a deep breath, “I told her it was me, I said my name, my first name, and as soon as she realised who I was she started screaming, telling me I was trying to kill her, that I was going to kill her.” Stiles took a deep breath, “Then she just…collapsed, and the monitors started going off and these nurses rushed in and…” He cleared his throat uncomfortably, “She died from a massive heart attack. Dad came in later, he’d been on scene at a traffic accident, he hadn’t known I’d gone to the hospital, he was upset and angry and he yelled at me, told me I should have never been there. He apologized afterwards, but, I knew, it was my fault. If I hadn’t gone, she wouldn’t have died.”
“She would have died eventually though.” Derek said, trying not to cave, trying not to offer Stiles the comfort that his wolf so desperately wanted him to.
“I know, but she could have had more time, she could have had more good days, more time with dad, I took that time away from him because I was selfish, I wanted to see my mom and I killed her instead. So, the point I’m trying to make, is, well, I know how it feels to be responsible for someone you care about dying, and, I know Peter was all kinds of crazy at the end, but, I’m sure he wasn’t always like that, and, if you ever want to talk, I’ll listen.” Stiles said quietly, not really surprised when Derek glared at him in silence. “Or not. Look, the offers always there. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ve got loads of work to do and those plans aren’t going to draw themselves.” Stiles rambled and Derek stilled.
“Plans? What plans?” He asked dangerously and Stiles winced guiltily, a sudden blush appearing on his cheeks.
“Okay, don’t be mad…”
“What are you talking about?” Derek growled.
“Well, um, I kind of, back when I thought you might be a murderer, which, really, to be fair, I only thought it for a day or two at most I swear…”
“Stiles.” Derek snarled.
“I may have dug in to you just a little bit and found out that you work for an architectural firm in New York and then I may have rung up and spoken to them and asked for a reference because you were planning on renting one of my apartments for a few months while you were back in town and then I got chatting to Mary, she’s the receptionist in case you didn’t know, although she said you should know because you always bring her her favourite coffee order whenever you come into the office which is only like once a month because the majority of your work is done from home but you still remember her coffee order and you always say hello and are polite and friendly and smiling which I thought was super weird and I asked if we were definitely talking about the same Derek Hale and she described you and it definitely was, but, dude, you smile? Like, seriously? Also, you wear a suit? Because, like, that’s kind of awesome, I thought you were way too in to leather so you in suit would be good. Anyway, yeah, so I got a reference from your bosses and they said that you’re always on time with projects and go above and beyond to do the best job and you’re one of the best in the business and yeah, lots of good stuff, like, they think really highly of you, so I made a joke about I should be charging you more for rent and then they asked me about my business, how many apartments I have and stuff and did I need someone to redesign things and I sort of, maybe, made out I was like some billionaire landlord thing and said I’d just ask you directly and offer you a job and they said about how they wouldn’t let me steal you away and, yeah, I got off the phone with them a bit later, but, yeah, I kind of figured you couldn’t be a murderer because everyone only had positive things to say about you and you have a job and a life in New York and you were probably only grumpy here because Laura was dead and werewolves and you know…” Stiles curled his fingers into mock claws, “All that crap, so I figured I’d help you whenever I could. Sorry about calling your work. I hope I didn’t get you into trouble. Now I’m going to leave.” He said, already turning on his heel and practically running out of the remains of the burned-out Hale house where Derek had taken to staying in.
Derek had stared after him in shock, it didn’t really surprise him that Stiles had done something like that, that was the kind of thing Stiles did all the time. It did surprise Derek that he’d admitted to it, and, not that he’d ever tell Stiles, but his employers had called him a few months ago, probably after Stiles’ phone call, telling him they were increasing his salary and wanted him to renew his contract for the next two years. Derek had agreed easily, the job worked for him, he enjoyed it, he got to pick which projects he wanted to work on, he got to do everything from home or wherever he was and whatever time of the day he wanted and he only had to go in and see people when the clients wanted to speak to him about his designs, which was very rarely, which worked for him because Derek didn’t really like being around that many people for long periods of time and the thought of being trapped in a small office cubicle actually made him kind of nauseous.
Also, the fact his salary had increased, to a stupid amount of money, meant he never had to worry about being able to afford anything. Laura had been insistent that they earned their own money, that they didn’t spend the insurance money, that they leave that for emergencies, for rebuilding their pack, for making sure they had a future. Except Laura was dead and Derek was alone, well, apart from Stiles, who always seemed to be keeping an eye on him for one reason or another and Derek wasn’t sure what to think, he knew he couldn’t trust him, couldn’t trust anyone, except, Stiles had confessed personal, private things to him and Derek knew he hadn’t been lying, still, he couldn’t trust that it wasn’t some way to try and trick him into letting Stiles in, to trust him, only for Stiles to betray him at a later date.
He’d never intended to stay in Beacon Hills, so he hadn’t really put down any roots, except, now Kate was dead, and he was the Alpha and it made sense that maybe he did start putting down some roots, that he built a new pack, that he solidified his position as Alpha. He’d started by moving out of the Hale house, renting out an old railway station, settling in there while he submitted plans to rebuild the house, it would take time, but, once the plans were approved, he planned to rip the remains of the house down and start afresh, a fresh start. Of course, Derek should have known it could never happen that way.
He'd bitten four teenagers that were in Stiles’ year at school, okay, really, he’d wanted to bite Stiles, to turn him, to have him by his side, but, he didn’t know how to broach that subject, especially because it would show weakness, it would show Stiles that he cared about him, that he wanted him around, and he couldn’t do that, not if he wanted to keep himself safe. Instead, he’d bitten; Erica Reyes - a young woman with epilepsy who most likely would have eventually died without the bite -Isaac Lahey – a boy who was being beaten by his father and who was terrified of his own shadow – Vernon Boyd – a boy so alone that Derek could smell the loneliness pouring off him from two hundred feet away – and Jackson Whittemore - a boy who had discovered werewolves when Scott had lost his shit one too many times and Stiles hadn’t been able to steer Jackson away in time.
At the time Derek had been relieved when the bite didn’t seem to take with Jackson, he’d never heard of it happening before, but, Lydia Martin, another girl in Stiles’ year, had been bitten by Peter and the bite hadn’t turned her either, so Derek had believed that it was fine, and, really, he didn’t like Jackson, didn’t like the way he spoke to Stiles, like he was nothing, like he hadn’t saved all their lives at least once. He wanted Stiles to be at his side a hell of a lot more than he wanted Jackson, so he had no issues with the fact that the bite hadn’t taken, it made his life a lot easier.
Gerard Argent, Kate’s father and Allison’s grandfather, had turned up making trouble and things only seemed to go from bad to worse, he was hunting any werewolf he could find so they had to do their best to stay in control, which was really fucking hard to do with fresh bitten wolves, thankfully, Stiles was around a lot, considering Scott was spending all his time with Allison, and he helped them find their anchors to humanity, keeping them human, helping them to keep control. Derek couldn’t believe how grateful he was to Stiles, he couldn’t admit that though, admitting it meant showing Stiles weakness and he couldn’t do it, he just couldn’t. Making himself vulnerable like that, it would only result in him getting hurt, he knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Then the Kanima made its appearance, able to paralyze people with just a drop of its venom, and had been killing people regularly, Derek was convinced it had to be Jackson or Lydia, Stiles had argued with him until he was blue in the face that there were better ways to do things that testing it out in the middle of class, but Derek hadn’t listened to him and it was the first time he found himself on the opposite side of things to Stiles. Needless to say, it didn’t work, Stiles was angry at him but just relieved that Lydia was okay, Derek wasn’t going to admit that he had no qualms over killing the girl because Stiles was apparently in love with her and Derek thought Stiles could do a damn sight better than somebody who didn’t even know his name, never mind the fact she couldn’t see how amazing he was.
Even though Stiles had been mad at him, even though Derek had threatened him with violence, Stiles had still saved his life when the Kanima struck, paralyzing him and letting him fall into the school pool. Stiles could have made a run for it, he could have been fine, instead he’d dived in after Derek and held him afloat for two hours until, finally, when Stiles was on the verge of drowning from exhaustion, Scott arrived and pulled them out.
Derek wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to thank Stiles enough, but he couldn’t say it, he just, he didn’t know how to open up anymore, he’d closed himself off for so long that even attempting to open up felt impossible, but, god, he was so grateful. Stiles seemed to realise that Derek was sorry, even if he didn’t say it, and they began working as a team again, protecting Scott, Erica, Boyd and Isaac from Gerard and his goons as best they could, even when it resulted in the Sheriff being suspended because Stiles had kidnapped Jackson and locked him in a police van.
Stiles couldn’t exactly explain that it had been because Jackson was the Kanima and he was being controlled by somebody else who was forcing him to kill people, especially since Jackson himself didn’t seem to realise. Derek watched as Noah and Stiles’ relationship began to crumble and he knew what a toll it was taking on Stiles, he wasn’t going to tell anyone that sometimes he just sat outside Stiles’ window at night, just to check that he was indeed sleeping and recovering from whatever adventures they’d had that day.
He’d heard Scott argue with Stiles that he should tell his dad what was going on, the truth about what they were dealing with. By this point Scott’s mom was in the know and to say she wasn’t handling it brilliantly was an understatement, she’d found out when Scott had been shot by Matt, the boy controlling Jackson, and Scott had healed from the wound. Matt had then been drowned by Gerard so Derek was now freaking out over the fact that Gerard Argent had control over a Kanima that could paralyze them all with a single touch.
Stiles had argued back with Scott, telling him repeatedly that his dad knowing would put him in danger and Stiles couldn’t lose his dad, he’d rather that they barely spoke but at least his dad was alive and breathing. Derek wanted to tell him it was stupid, that Noah would prefer to be close to Stiles than be safe, but, having lost his entire family, Derek didn’t feel like he had any right to say anything. If he thought about it, he would rather have his family alive, even if they never spoke to him again, he’d trade anything to know that they were alive and happy and safe, even if it meant he never got to hug his mom or dad or any of his family again. He understood what Stiles was feeling, but he still didn’t necessarily agree that it was the right thing to do, not that he was going to argue with Stiles about it. Not when they were only just back to being friends, or whatever the hell they were, again.
Erica and Boyd had arrived at the railway station explaining that they’d heard the howls of another wolf pack, that they wanted to go with them, spend time with an Alpha who had more experience. Derek knew it was because they were scared and he couldn’t blame them, he was scared too, but, this was his family’s territory and it was time to stand up for it, maybe he still didn’t care if he died, it wasn’t like there was anybody who would miss him, but, he wasn’t about to let the Argents have this territory if he could help it. He was going to fight for it.
He knew that meant he’d have to fight Allison too, she’d found out that Scott was a werewolf and she’d actually been okay with it, but then her mom had found out and she’d tried to kill Scott and Derek had had to get Stiles to break the mountain ash barrier that he’d just created in order to go into the club and save his pack and Scott. He wouldn’t forget how proud Stiles had smelled of himself in that moment, that he’d managed to break a magical barrier without touching it, Derek had decided it was something to discuss later, once everyone was safe.
He’d managed to save Scott’s life, but in the process, he’d bitten Allison’s mom, it wasn’t a death sentence, she would have survived the change, but she refused to become one of the monsters they hunted and so she killed herself. Allison had sided with Gerard, that all werewolves were monsters and they needed to be killed, Derek wanted to believe it was grief, that they would be able to talk some sense into her if they could just explain, but he also doubted Allison would give him a chance to explain, which meant that if it came to a fight, she would be on the hunters side.
Derek had been heading to the school to watch the lacrosse match when Lydia kidnapped him. He’d known Stiles was playing and he’d wanted to watch, okay, so were Isaac, Scott and Jackson, so there was a definite threat of something bad happening, but he’d really wanted to see Stiles play. He never made it there.
Lydia had seemed fine after receiving the bite from Peter, but it hadn’t taken long before she started acting weird, Derek figured that he should have kept a closer eye on her, especially when she drugged him and then used him to resurrect Peter. Derek had stared at his uncle, unable to believe his eyes, he didn’t understand how Peter was alive again, and he was convinced that Peter was going to kill him while Derek was still recovering from the drug Lydia had given him, take back the Alpha powers that Derek had taken from him, but he didn’t. Instead Peter apologised, sobbed to Derek about how sorry he was, that he’d never wanted to kill Laura, that he couldn’t believe he’d done it, just like he’d never wanted to bite Scott or Lydia, or kill any of the people he had done, well, apart from Kate, and of course he’d never wanted to kidnap Stiles.
“What!?” Derek growled, getting to his feet, albeit a little unsteadily, but, still, Peter had kidnapped Stiles!? When!?
“I mean, I thought you knew?” Peter said sounding worried even as Lydia got to her feet and looked at the two of them like they were insane, Derek knew he was going to have to fill her in on the supernatural world, there was no hiding it from her now.
“When did you kidnap him? Did you hurt him?” Derek asked, his vision taking on the red of his wolf that meant his wolf was close to taking over and Peter gulped nervously.
“The night I bit Miss Martin, he ran to help her, I told him I was going to kill her, he convinced me not to, that I didn’t need to, that he’d help me with whatever I wanted if I let her live. So, I did. I even let him call the ambulance, and then I got him to help me track Scott’s phone and when he tried to outsmart me, I may have hurt him, a little bit, but he was fine, I swear.” Peter paused, “I thought he would have told you.” He muttered quietly.
“Yeah, well, he obviously didn’t.” Derek growled in annoyance, why the hell had Stiles kept this from him? He opened his mouth to speak, to tell Peter he needed to apologize or something when Lydia looked down at her phone and let out a gasp of horror and grief. “What?” Derek growled.
“Jackson’s dead.” She muttered sounding heartbroken and Derek wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t know how. He managed to get the story out of Scott eventually, that Jackson had killed himself on the pitch, that Stiles had run off because he was scared, and that Scott had ordered his mom out of town in order to make sure Gerard didn’t go after her. Peter had been the one to suggest that perhaps Jackson wasn’t really dead, going to the stairs and pulling out a blackened box before opening up a laptop.
Lydia, Derek and Peter stared at the open screen on the laptop in horror, unable to believe that Jackson was in the process of evolving into an Alpha Kanima and that if they didn’t find a way to stop him then all hell was going to break loose. Derek called Scott back, telling him he needed to get to Jackson’s body, get it out of the hospital, Scott hadn’t exactly been happy about it and it wasn’t like Derek and Scott had the best relationship, Derek thought Scott was too relaxed about his secret, and Scott thought that Derek had no idea what he was doing, but both of them realised they needed to put aside their issues to save Jackson and everybody else.
Which was how he’d ended up in the warehouse, looking around in disbelief. Scott had been working with Gerard, coming up with a plan to paralyze Derek and then force him to give Gerard the bite. Derek should have seen the betrayal coming, he should have realised that he could never trust anybody, regardless of the fact Scott had only done it to keep Allison safe. The fact Gerard had been willing to kill his own granddaughter hadn’t sat well with Allison or her father, Chris, and they’d switched sides, firmly standing next to Peter, Derek, Isaac, Lydia and Scott. It was odd, but Derek wasn’t going to question it. Thankfully, Scott had betrayed Gerard too, spiking the pills he’d been taking with mountain ash, so that although the bite took, it also didn’t, so Gerard may have had some of the enhancements that werewolves received, but, he would never be able to be a complete werewolf and that was a good thing in Derek’s book.
Lydia had called out Jackson’s name, begging him to remember her, and they’d all watched with morbid fascination as the Kanima began to change until, slowly, the scales of the lizard faded away and Jackson was revealed. Derek moved forward instantly, sinking his claws into Jackson in a vain attempt to convert him into the werewolf he was supposed to be, somehow, miraculously, it worked, but, in the meantime, Gerard had escaped and Derek was livid.
“I’m sorry Derek, I had to try and protect Allison.” Scott muttered and Derek glared at him.
“You could have gotten us all killed.” He snarled as he moved to Isaac, pulling out the knives that Allison had shoved in to him during the fight.
“I’m okay.” Isaac muttered and Derek nodded angrily, yes, Isaac was okay, but he could have so easily not been.
“You didn’t even think about us, so long as your mom was out of town and safe and Allison was protected, you didn’t even think about us. We’re werewolves Scott, and the Argents were trying to kill ALL of us. Do you honestly think if you’re plan hadn’t worked that Gerard would have spared you!? Now he’s out there somewhere, alive, probably already planning on a new way to kill us. You should have never worked with him.” Derek snapped.
“It was a mistake. But. The plan worked. Surely that’s what matters?” Scott said and Derek wanted to punch him so badly, he took a steadying breath, trying to rein in his anger, trying to convince himself that punching Scott wasn’t going to help anything.
“We’re all alive. That’s what matters.” Lydia said before turning to Peter, “Now, I want to know more about what you did to me, how I was able to bring you back to life and whatever else you haven’t been telling any of us. I assume you have some sort of den or something?” She said looking to Derek who actually blushed under her gaze.
“We have the railway station.” Isaac piped up innocently and Derek groaned.
“That’s not going to do at all. We need a proper pack den, right?” Lydia pressed and Derek nodded.
“I was, um, planning to redo the Hale house.” He muttered, ignoring the astonished look on Peter’s face.
“Great, until then, we need a base of operations.” Lydia said taking charge.
“You’ll need to let Erica and Boyd know where to find you once they come back.” Chris interrupted and Derek turned to stare at him like he’d gone insane.
“There was no other pack.” Allison said, staring at the floor in shame, “We lured them in, captured them, Gerard tied them up in the basement, tortured them for information.” Derek snarled, his wolf howling angrily that they rip and tear Allison apart for this, “I’m sorry. I thought it was the right thing to do. I can see now that I was wrong. I’m so sorry.” She said, tears filling her eyes.
“I released them before we came here. They should be back in an hour or so.” Chris said, “You should make sure they have some way to find you.” He looked to Allison and put a hand on her shoulder, “I’m going to take Allison with me, we’re going to leave town for a few weeks, but we will be back, I’d like it to be under friendlier terms than we have been previously?”
“Your family murdered our entire family. There were innocent people in our home and your sister burned it to the ground.” Peter growled, “How could we ever be civilised with you?”
“Because I’m not my sister.” Chris replied, looking to Derek directly, “And, we’ve all made mistakes, I’m asking permission from the Alpha of Beacon Hills to stay in his territory, I’ll even give up hunting, revoke any rights to the Argent name. I just want to make a home for my daughter.”
“Fine.” Derek said eventually even as Peter looked at him incredulously, “But, if I ever even get a hint of betrayal, I will rip your throat out myself, are we clear?”
“Crystal.” Chris replied before leaving the warehouse with Allison still sobbing quietly at his side.
Derek had wanted to go out and look for Erica and Boyd immediately, but Lydia was glaring at him and Jackson still looked confused and Isaac was hovering nervously and it was clear that, right now, his pack, no matter how ragtag it was, needed him more. Erica and Boyd had left. He needed to look after those that had chosen to stay.
Lydia had insisted that they go to a proper hotel so they could all sit and talk and make it their home base until Derek found somewhere better for them to stay, she was already looking at listings in the area even as Jackson drove them out to the nearest hotel and Derek followed with Peter, Isaac and even Scott in his car. He didn’t feel good about that, not knowing that Scott had been willing to risk the lives of his pack just to protect Allison, but, Scott was a werewolf and if Derek was going to be the Alpha in Beacon Hills then he needed to take responsibility for any wolves in the area, no matter what.
Lydia seemed to fill the role of second in the pack without Derek even realising it, she delegated the jobs making sure everybody had food and was cleaned up properly before forcing Peter to tell them everything he knew.
“Your grandmother was a banshee, I knew her, back before the fire, I took the chance that, should things go wrong for me, that you had inherited her powers, that you’d be able to connect to the other side, that I’d be able to invade your mind and force you to perform the spell. In all fairness, I was insane at the time, the fire did something to me, and when I woke from my coma, I didn’t even recognise Laura, killing her made me the Alpha and it cleared some of the fog, but, all I could think about was revenge, killing those responsible for the deaths of my family. Once I died, and came back, those thoughts seem to have vanished completely, I still feel a lot of anger, but not like my wolf is going to take over and murder anybody who was even remotely involved.” Peter explained.
“But you said you were going to kill me?” Lydia pressed from where she was sat next to Jackson on the sofa, “I mean, you said the night you bit me, that Stiles had begged you not to kill me, that he’d help you if it meant you left me alone, and you let him call an ambulance.”
“What? No. Stiles didn’t even know you’d been bitten until hours later, and then he practically ran to the hospital, he even left his jeep at the school.” Scott said dismissively.
“That’s because I didn’t let him go near the school. I kidnapped him, got him to help me track you down, and, once he’d realised he couldn’t trick me, he tried to escape, I roughed him up a little and then I realised he wasn’t going to help me find you, even if I killed him, even if I turned him, which, I tried to do, but, Stiles is smarter than I thought…”
“You tried to bite him!?” Derek shouted outraged and Peter shrugged.
“Like I said, he outsmarted me. Anyway, I let him go and then he ran to the hospital to check that I hadn’t gone back on my word and killed Lydia and then, well, you guys killed me.” Peter replied.
“What the fuck are you on about!? You didn’t kidnap Stiles! He would have told me about that.” Scott said and Peter rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, sure, he tells you everything I’m sure.” Peter said while Scott just glared at him. “Look, I was never planning on killing you, just biting you, in the hopes you’d inherited your grandmother’s genes. Maybe I didn’t tell Stiles that, maybe I implied that I’d been about to kill you, but, either way, does it matter? I wasn’t in my right mind and I’m sorry. Whenever Stiles makes an appearance, I’ll apologise to him too if it makes you feel any better.”
“Where is he now?” Lydia asked and Scott shrugged.
“He freaked out when Jackson died, he ran off, I was going to go find him but then the whole ‘Jackson isn’t actually dead’ thing happened. I’ll give him a call later, check he’s okay, he’s probably just embarrassed that he panicked or whatever.” Scott said dismissively, Derek was surprised, it didn’t exactly sound like Stiles, he tended to run towards danger, not away from it, especially not if his friends were involved, but, if Scott had seen him running off then Derek wasn’t going to disagree with him, after all, how well did he really know Stiles? Not much, not really, and nowhere near as much as he wanted to.
They spent the next few hours discussing what being a banshee meant until Scott eventually left in the early hours, saying he’d call Stiles later in the day and check on him, Lydia seemed to be taking it all in her stride which was better than Derek could have expected and he could kind of understand why Stiles was in awe of her. Within two days she’d found them a reasonably priced loft, furnished it and made sure Isaac, Peter and Derek each had a room, along with spare rooms for when she and Jackson felt like staying over, as well as a room for Erica, Boyd and even Scott if he felt like it, even if Derek wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He was secretly glad to be in the loft and not the railway station though, they had two days of heavy rain that would have definitely leaked through the cracked roof and they all would have been soaked, he wasn’t sure how to say thank you to Lydia considering she had been the driving force behind them getting the loft.
“I would have thought Erica and Boyd would be back by now.” Lydia said and Derek shrugged uncomfortably.
“They might not be coming back. Just because Chris let them out of the basement, it doesn’t mean they’ll be coming back to Beacon Hills. They weren’t happy with me as their Alpha. I don’t see how that will have changed.” He said quietly and Lydia frowned at him before sighing and getting up, heading into the kitchen.
“You just lack experience; your heart is in the right place.” Lydia commented and Derek found himself quietly surprised by it, looking down at his book and refusing to meet her gaze.
It was another twenty-four hours before there was a tentative knock on the door and Derek moved towards it, already able to sense his betas behind the door, while Lydia, Jackson, Peter and Isaac were waiting and watching patiently from the sofas. He opened the door, studying Erica and Boyd for a moment before opening it fully and allowing them entrance into his den. They looked like they’d had a rough few days, their clothes were still stained with blood and dirt, they looked like they’d barely slept, they looked exhausted and terrified and Derek felt guilt flood through him instantly, he should have been out there looking for them.
“Are you guys okay?” Isaac asked and Erica and Boyd both nodded silently, looking around the loft as if expecting to see someone else there.
“Chris told us he let you go days ago, where have you been?” Lydia queried and Erica shrugged.
“Here and there.” She muttered, “Where’s Stiles?”
“Not here. You’re avoiding the question.” Jackson replied.
“Erica, Boyd, sit down, we’ll make you something to eat, you look hungry.” Peter said and Erica shook her head.
“We need to see Stiles, check he’s okay.”
“He’s fine.” Lydia said dismissively, “We need to know where you’ve been, then you can go see Stiles.” They glanced at each other and then to Derek before nodding.
“We’re sorry we left, we were scared and we ran. We shouldn’t have done. Please will you take us back?” Erica said and Derek stared at her in surprise for a moment, he’d never expected to see them again, never mind for them to apologize for leaving in the first place.
“Of course, you’re my betas, you’re always welcome in my pack.” Derek replied.
“Please then, we’ll tell you where we’ve been, but we really need to see Stiles, please?” Erica practically pleaded.
“You know where he lives, you could have seen him before coming here?” Peter said and Erica and Boyd both stared at him in shock.
“He’s not there. We already went there. He’s not there. Where is he? Did something happen? Did Gerard hurt him? What happened to him? Where is he?” Erica said sounding terrified.
“What are you talking about? Stiles is at home, he’s fine. Scott said he’d check up on him after him freaking out on the lacrosse pitch and running off, he’d have told us if there was anything wrong.” Isaac said in reassurance but this only seemed to panic Erica and Boyd even further, Derek was already pulling out his phone and calling Stiles, and, when it went to voicemail, he called Scott.
“Lo?” Scott said, sounding like he’d only just woken from his sleep.
“Did you speak to Stiles?” Derek asked without preamble.
“Nah, I called him a few times, left him a voicemail, he hasn’t called me back yet.” Scott replied, not sounding in the least bit worried.
“Gerard did something to him, I know he did. He said he was going to let him go, but I know he did something worse, I know it.” Erica rambled and Derek stared at her.
“What do you mean? Did Gerard have Stiles too?” He said, his heart starting to race, Erica and Boyd both nodded and Derek felt sick to his stomach, “Scott, you saw Stiles? You saw him run away? Run off the pitch?”
“Um,” Scott sounded worried now and rightly so, “Well, the lights went out, so, I guess I didn’t see him, but he was there, then the lights went off and Jackson was dead and when they came back on Stiles was gone. It was obvious he just panicked and ran off.”
“No, no, Gerard had some guys grab him, he was down in the basement with us, they tortured him, Gerard said he’d let him go, because he was human, but they never came back and then Chris let us go but I don’t know what Gerard did with Stiles but he’s not at his house and I don’t know where he is and we need to see him, we need to make sure he’s okay, we need him, he protected us, he saved us, even when they hurt him, he’s ours, we need him to be alive, to be safe.” Erica said, tears filling her eyes and Derek felt like he couldn’t breathe, god, what had happened to Stiles? Where was he? Why hadn’t Derek gone to check on him? He knew it was unlike Stiles to run away but he’d taken Scott’s word for it and now Stiles could be dead and it was all his fault.
“I’ll meet you at the house.” Scott said sounding panicked before the phone cut off, Derek didn’t waste any time, sprinting from the loft, not caring if the rest of his pack were right behind him or not, all he cared about was finding Stiles, on finding him alive. He drove like a maniac to the Stilinski household, the house was dark and empty, it was obvious nobody was home, but it didn’t stop him climbing the tree near Stiles’ window and swinging quickly onto the roof, flicking open the window catch and slipping into Stiles’ silent room.
“How many times have you done that?” Isaac asked with something like awe in his voice from the ground below and Derek was glad they couldn’t see him when his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He ignored Isaac’s question, it wasn’t like he could admit that he’d climbed up this tree a hundred times, that sometimes he would enter the house and talk to Stiles but other times he would sit in the tree and listen to Stiles as he moved around the house. His favourite times were when Stiles was awake in the middle of the night and alone in the house, it usually resulted in him either reading what seemed like eight different books at once, or doing a thorough clean of the house, either way, Stiles would turn the radio on and sing along to which ever song was on the radio. Derek loved those moments, Stiles had an incredible voice, Derek could close his eyes and get lost listening to Stiles sing to himself, Derek knew he could just about hold a tune, but there was no way in hell he’d ever sound as good as Stiles. Derek was certain that if Stiles chose to, he could make a career of it.
He moved through the house urgently, desperate to see Stiles, to hear him, to smell him, to get any kind of sense that Stiles had been here. Nothing smelled out of the ordinary, other than the fact Stiles wasn’t here, by the time he reached the kitchen it was obvious to him that Stiles hadn’t been home since the night of the lacrosse game, but, even more worryingly, apparently neither had the sheriff.
“He’s not here.” Derek growled as he opened the front door to the rest of the pack and Scott who was looking like his entire world had crumbled.
“We should send out search parties or something. He’s probably lost in the preserve.” Scott said optimistically.
“If he’s out there he’s in bigger trouble.” Boyd muttered and they all looked to him for further explanation. “When we were escaping from the Argents, we ran into an Alpha pack, they tried to kidnap us, imprison us, we managed to escape but barely and then we hid until the rain had washed our scent away completely. If Stiles was out in the preserve, he was injured, hurt, bleeding, they’d be able to track him easily, and, he’d smell like us still, that he’s pack, so, then, maybe, maybe they’ve found him.” Derek was going to be sick, he couldn’t bare this, the thought of Stiles alone, hurt, being tortured by Gerard while protecting his pack, being left out in the preserve to die, being held against his will by an entire pack of Alpha’s, god, he needed to find him, he needed to know he was okay.
“Hey! Get away from there!” Somebody shouted from across the street and Derek turned to look at an elderly woman approaching, a cane in her hand, half raised as if to bat them away, “Sheriff’s not even dead yet and you lot are looking at breaking into his house, damn kids!”
“Mrs Archer! It’s me! Scott McCall.” Scott said and Mrs Archer relaxed instantly.
“Oh, little Scott McCall, sorry, my eyesight isn’t what it used to be.” She apologised.
“It’s fine. Look, what do you mean the sheriff’s not even dead yet? Did something happen to him? Is he okay? Did you see Stiles?”
“Do you not know? I thought your mom worked down at the hospital?”
“She’s out of town, due back in the morning. What’s happened? Please? Is he okay?”
“No. I’m sorry. I thought someone would have told you by now.”
“What happened to Stiles? Is he alright?” Derek growled, trying not to lose his temper, but he needed to know where Stiles was, he needed to know he was okay.
“Stiles? No, the sheriff. He was shot, right here in his front yard.”
“What!? When!? Is he alright?” Scott shouted.
“What about Stiles!?” Derek snapped and Mrs Archer looked at him appraisingly.
“As far as I know, Stiles is fine. I heard that he wasn’t even here, his dad was in the yard, talking on the phone or something, a criminal that the sheriff had been after for a while appeared, he shot Noah, Noah shot back and killed him. Stiles is probably down at the hospital with him, I hear it’s not good news, they don’t expect him to wake up.” Mrs Archer informed them and Derek felt his heart sink, poor Stiles, losing his dad now, after everything that had happened between them, all the arguments and the lies, he needed to be there to support Stiles however he could.
“Thanks!” Scott called, already running towards the cars and throwing himself into the back seat of Derek’s, “Let’s go!” He shouted and Derek and the rest of the pack raced after him.
When they got to the hospital Derek sprinted to the front desk, already catching sight of the two deputies stood outside of a door and moving towards them without asking at the main desk for Sheriff Stilinski.
“Is this the sheriff’s room?” He asked one of the deputies and they looked to each other and then Derek before pointing him back towards the reception desk, “Look, I just, I need to speak to Stiles, is he in there?”
“You’ll need to speak to the main desk.” The first deputy said.
“I’m a friend of Stiles’, please, I only just heard, I just need to know if he’s okay?”
“You’ll need to speak to the main desk.” The man repeated and Derek fought the urge to punch him, instead, he spun on his heel, walking back towards the main desk already trying to pick out Stiles’ heartbeat in the room behind him and cursing when he couldn’t, it didn’t mean anything though, it could be that Derek just couldn’t hear it because the hospital was busy, not because Stiles wasn’t in there, it didn’t mean that.
“Hey Megan, we’re here to see the Sheriff and Stiles.” Scott said, smiling politely and Derek thanked god that Melissa worked at the hospital and Scott visited her occasionally.
“Sorry Scott, I can’t let you in at the moment.” Megan replied sadly and Scott sighed.
“Can you…can you just tell me how he’s doing? How Stiles is doing?” Scott pleaded and Megan looked around nervously before clicking onto the screen in front of her and reading through the notes there.
“The bullet struck him in the chest, it hit his artery and lodged in there, the doctors are suggesting it must have been shot from a fair distance to not pass straight through him, or perhaps hit something else first considering his attacker was found dead only a few feet away, but, for whatever reason, it lodged in his artery, he should have bled out, he should have died. But he was still alive when they got to him.” She paused looking troubled, “He went into cardiac arrest on the operating table. He was without oxygen for several minutes and, although they restarted his heart,” She looked at them apologetically, “It looks like they’ve run brain scans, they show that…they show that he’s brain dead. His heart is beating but, he won’t wake up. Once a significant period has passed, if there’s no sign of improvement, we’ll discuss with Stiles, his last remaining member of family, about switching off the life support, letting him move on, be at peace.” Megan said and Derek gripped the counter for support, god, Stiles had as good as lost his dad, he was going to lose his dad, how was he going to survive it?
“What about Stiles?” Derek asked and Megan scrolled through the screen for a few more minutes before she pursed her lips.
“Stiles’ aunt took him out of town, she left a number for us to get in touch if Noah wakes up, but, from the notes on here, Stiles is with her.” Megan shrugged, “I don’t remember seeing her, but, maybe somebody else made the note when I wasn’t on shift.”
“Can we have her number? Please? We need to speak to Stiles.” Erica said, Megan looked at her, took in the dirt and blood on her clothes, the exhaustion on her face, and she must have felt some pity for her because she scribbled the number down and passed it to Scott conspiratorially.
“If anyone asks…”
“I didn’t get it from you.” Scott replied, already pulling out his phone and calling the number, it went to an automated voicemail and Scott cursed, “Um, hi, you probably don’t know me, but maybe Stiles has mentioned me? My name is Scott McCall, I’m his best friend. I just heard about his dad. I wanted to speak to him, could you ask him to call me as soon as possible please? I really need to talk to him. Thanks.” He said before hanging up.
“I didn’t know he had an aunt.” Erica said and Scott shrugged.
“He’s always been kind of private about his dad’s family, I don’t think Noah got on with a lot of them, but, erm, I think I maybe sort of remember him mentioning an aunt vaguely once, maybe, I’m not sure.” Scott replied, glancing again at the closed door before moving towards the exit.
They sat in silence in the loft, trying to process everything they had learned, all of them waiting patiently for Stiles to call Scott, to let him know that he was okay despite the fact his dad was dying. Derek toyed with the idea of sneaking into the hospital, of giving Noah the bite, but he wasn’t sure, if Noah died, if the bite killed him before Stiles got a chance to say goodbye, would Stiles hate him forever? But, if he survived, if he turned, then Stiles would have no reason to keep secrets from him any longer, they could go back to having a healthy relationship as father and son.
He went over the argument in his head, over and over, he kept going in circles, he knew how much Stiles blamed himself for his mother’s death, if Noah died because of something Derek did, would Stiles blame him for the rest of his life? Could Derek deal with that? Deal with Stiles hating him forever? He was a coward. He couldn’t do it. If Stiles asked him to then he’d do it, without hesitation, but he couldn’t do it without his permission, he just couldn’t.
“How do you think he’s holding up?” Jackson asked and Scott looked at him in surprise.
“Why do you care?” Scott said, “You don’t even like him.”
“Just because I don’t think the sun shines out of his ass, it doesn’t mean I’m celebrating over the fact his mom is already dead and now his dad is going to die.” Jackson snapped.
“We don’t know he is definitely going to die.” Erica muttered.
“He’s brain dead, you heard her, he’s as good as dead, they’re just waiting for Stiles to say they can turn the machines off.” Lydia replied.
“Stiles isn’t going to let them turn the machines off! He’s not going to let them kill his dad! Why do you think he’s run out of town!?” Scott shouted.
“Well maybe if you’d bothered to do more than leave a few half-arsed voicemails he wouldn’t have left!” Isaac replied.
“How the hell was I supposed to know his dad was shot!? It’s not like mom was at the hospital to let me know!”
“So you don’t even bother to call him when he hadn’t called you back in three days!?” Lydia argued, “You said you’d check on him, your mom isn’t around, Allison has left, you couldn’t pop over there on your bike and check on him?”
“I was busy!”
“Busier than checking on your best friend!?” Peter said.
“Don’t you pretend like you give a shit! You kidnapped him and hurt him!” Isaac shouted.
“I said I was sorry!” Peter replied in exasperation. Their argument was interrupted by the ping of Scott’s phone with an incoming message and Derek snatched it up. “What does it say?”
“’I got your message. I’m fine. I’m staying with my aunt Sofia for the foreseeable. Please don’t contact me again.’” Derek read, feeling sick to his stomach as he passed the phone back to Scott who looked thunderstruck.
“It’s fine, I’ll just call him again, he’s going to have to speak to me eventually.” He said, redialling Sofia’s number and getting her voicemail again, “It’s Scott again, look, I know Stiles said not to get in touch, but, I’m his best friend, I know he needs me right now and I want to be there for him, he just needs to talk to me and, I’m not taking no for an answer, until he gives me a reason why he wants to throw away our friendship, I’m going to keep calling and leaving him messages and he’s going to have to speak to me eventually. Please, just, get him to call me. Thanks.”
“You shouldn’t have threatened him. You know he’ll dig his heels in.” Derek muttered and Scott glared at him but didn’t say anything. They waited impatiently until, almost an hour later, they got another text and this time Scott picked up the phone, all the colour draining from his face.
“What is it?” Erica whispered.
“What did Gerard do to him?” Scott said sounding horrified.
“What do you mean?” Boyd said and Scott flipped the phone, allowing them all to see the picture Stiles had sent, his stomach was covered in cuts and bruises, there was more damaged skin than undamaged and Derek wanted to murder the man responsible.
“We told you, he tortured him.” Erica replied and Scott winced when the phone dinged with another message.
“Stiles says, ‘I’m your best friend and you left me to be tortured by Gerard. I’m your best friend and you didn’t even look for me. I’m your best friend and you didn’t even notice I was missing. You call yourself my best friend and it took you three days before you bothered to check on me. I got wrapped up in this world and I’m not cut out for it Scott. I don’t heal like you. You can see that. I’m out. I’m done. Don’t contact me again.’ He’s serious, he called me Scott, not Scotty, he only does that when he’s really pissed off, I mean, it’s not as bad as when he just calls me McCall, but that only happened once and god….He’s serious. He’s done.”
“We should go see him or something, do you know where this Sofia lives?” Derek said and Scott shrugged, looking on the verge of tears.
“I don’t even remember meeting her, but maybe we can try and track her down or something?”
“Did you even read his text Scott? Look what Gerard to him! He’s hurt and he wants out! You can’t drag him back into this if he doesn’t want to. Especially with this Alpha pack lurking around.” Isaac argued.
“He’s right.” Lydia said, “I know I’m pretty new to this whole thing, but Stiles doesn’t want to be involved any longer, do you want to drag him back here by force?”
“We can’t lose him, we need him around.” Erica whined, “Derek, he saved our lives, he kept the focus on him, even when he knew Gerard was going to hurt him. He protected us Derek, he saved us, we need him, please.” Derek looked at his pack, Erica and Boyd seemed to have really bonded with Stiles in the basement and he understood how easy that was, Stiles was easy to be around and when you had his loyalty there was no breaking it, if Stiles had decided he wanted out then it must have been serious and Derek knew that he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t go against what Stiles wanted.
“Erica, Boyd, I know what Stiles did for you, that he saved your lives, and I know how much that must mean to you, I know how much it means to me, but, Stiles has asked to be left out of this, and, after everything he’s done for us,” Derek looked around at the pack, “What he’s done for ALL of us, we can’t go against his wishes. We have to do this for him.” There was silence as the pack processed his words, and they all allowed it to sink in, if this was what Stiles wanted then they had to listen to him, just this once, they had to do what he wanted. Derek could only hope that once Stiles healed, he would choose to return to them.
It was a few weeks after that night when he drove past the Sheriff’s house, seeing it was up for sale and Stiles’ jeep was still parked in the driveway, he parked his car at the curb and headed to the jeep, he didn’t know what was going on with the house, if it was Stiles deciding to sell the house and move on or if it was something else completely. All Derek knew for certain was that he couldn’t allow Stiles’ jeep to waste away on the drive. He took it to a nearby garage, talked the owner into doing a complete rebuild to make sure it would run smoothly when Stiles came back and then storing it in his garage until Derek came to collect it. He couldn’t specify a date, he didn’t know how long Stiles would be gone and he couldn’t bear to be faced with the constant reminder of Stiles leaving them, instead they agreed a monthly price and Derek would let him know when he wanted it, it was the best he could do in the circumstances.
Allison and Chris returned to Beacon Hills nearly six weeks after they had left, they’d kept them out of the loop while they were away, and Allison was furious when she found out what had been happening in her absence. Chris had apologised profusely for his father’s actions and swore to do his best to track him down and make him pay for what he had done to Stiles, Derek had told him not to. Chris was out of the hunting life and Stiles wouldn’t want him to dive back in to it all in an attempt to take vengeance on Gerard. Of course, killing Gerard was something that Derek was desperate to achieve, but he was doing his best to focus on the good in his life rather than the negative. He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to completely trust Allison and Chris, but he would try. He had to do better than he had been doing. He had to do better so that Stiles would see that he could change, he could learn to trust, to let people in, that Derek could be there for him when he came home.
As time passed it became obvious that Stiles wasn’t coming back, they all still called Stiles’ phone but it went to voicemail instantly, they all called Sofia and left him voicemails there too, telling him that everything was going okay and how much they missed him, but none of them tried to guilt him into coming home, they wanted him to come home when he was ready, but god they missed him. It was obvious to all of them that Stiles had been the glue, that he cared for all of them, looked after all of them, Jackson really struggled with his anchor and Derek was certain that if Stiles was here he’d be able to help him a damn sight better than Derek could, it didn’t mean he didn’t try his hardest to help Jackson, even when he knew that he would never be as good as Stiles would have been if he was here.
The Alpha pack were causing all sorts of issues, it had started with trying to kidnap Erica and Boyd when they had just been released from the Argents basement but that was only the beginning. Since then they’d tried to kidnap Isaac, Jackson and even Peter on various occasions, Derek had been kind of tempted to let them have Peter, for a split second, he knew Peter had seen the hesitation in his eyes and he’d deflated slightly, it was enough for Derek to realise that whatever his uncle had been after he had woken from his coma, he wasn’t the same man after returning from the dead. He’d lunged forward, attacking Kali, the woman who had hold of Peter, and the rest of his pack had charged after him, making sure that Kali, Ethan and Aiden – the twin Alphas that were with her – all retreated empty handed and Peter had stared at him gratefully before Derek pulled him into a hug.
The plans were approved for the Hale house a few weeks later and Derek was torn between starting work immediately and waiting until the threat of the Alpha pack had been dealt with. Lydia was the one who pushed for the house to be built, insisting that the sooner they had a pack house the better, especially since all their own home situations seemed to be falling apart. Jackson’s parents never noticed if he was there or not, Lydia’s mother only took an interest in her when it was something that worked for her, Erica’s and Boyd’s parents had treated both of them poorly since they’d vanished for a few days and it wasn’t like they could explain where they had been. Isaac had no parents to be bothered about him and Derek was in the process of trying to make it official that he was Isaac’s legal guardian, he knew the boy would be turning eighteen in a year but that didn’t matter, Derek wanted Isaac to know that he had a place in Derek’s pack, that he would always have a place with them if he wanted it. Melissa had been furious when Scott had explained what had happened with Gerard, what he’d done to Erica, Boyd and Stiles, she was even more infuriated when she found out that Noah had been shot, Stiles had left town to stay with an aunt and Scott hadn’t known about it for three days despite knowing Stiles had left the pitch. Although she had dealt with it eventually, it was obvious that she was disappointed in Scott’s actions even though he was doing his best to make up for it.
Derek had taken to going to the hospital on an almost daily basis, once it had been confirmed that the man who shot Noah had been working alone and there were no further threats, the deputies were no longer stationed on the door and Derek could go in and see him. He observed the man in the bed in front of him, he looked like he could just be asleep, other than the various wires and tubes that were connected to him, he looked peaceful and Derek felt his heart breaking for Stiles, he should have been there for him, he should have known something was wrong, he should have been able to support him through this, Stiles should have had somebody with him.
“Hi Derek.” Melissa said from the doorway and Derek startled slightly, he’d been so lost in thought that he’d not heard her approaching.
“Hi.” He mumbled in reply.
“How’s our favourite patient today?” Melissa addressed Noah, moving forward to him and checking the charts by the bed, Derek waited in silence, feeling awkward but not knowing what to say under the circumstances, he knew Melissa and Noah had been close, both of them helping to raise each other children’s, but more than just that, they’d been friends, seeing him like this must be hard for her. “Have you decided to give him the bite?” She asked out of the blue and Derek stared at her before frowning.
“No. I’d like to. But the risk is that it could just as easily kill him. If Stiles wants me to, I will. But, I can’t, not until Stiles has had his chance to say goodbye.” Derek explained stiltedly.
“And what if Stiles doesn’t come back? If he never comes home? Are you going to let Noah suffer like this? Drag it out?” Melissa said heatedly and Derek looked at her apologetically.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. Stiles blames himself for his mom dying, for not giving his dad the chance to say goodbye. How can I do the same thing to him?” Melissa stared at him in astonishment and Derek flushed, “What?”
“Stiles said that? He said it was his fault his mom died?” Melissa asked and Derek shrugged recalling their conversation from that night.
“He said her heart had been getting weaker, she’d freaked out every time she saw him, convinced he was trying to kill her, he came to the hospital even though his dad had told him not to, he’d wanted to spend some time with her, and he did, she didn’t know who he was, and then, he said his name, his first name, and she started screaming and shouting at him to get away from her. And then she collapsed. He said it was a massive heart attack. That she died because he came to see her. That his dad lost out on time with her, that they could have had more good days, a proper chance to say goodbye. He said it was his fault.” Derek explained and Melissa put a hand to her mouth, tears filling her eyes as she tried to take a steadying breath.
“Oh Stiles,” She sighed sadly, sounding heartbroken, “It wasn’t his fault.”
“I know.” Derek agreed.
“She was dying. She was going to die. We all said it was a miracle she’d hung on as long as she had.”
“I agree.” Derek said while Melissa looked on the verge of a breakdown.
“She went downhill so quickly, she seemed to remember Stiles long after everything else was gone, and then, god, then she dragged him up to the roof, hit him, tried to throw him off, she was convinced he was trying to kill her, her own kid, and Noah, god, he stopped her, barely, it had been a close thing and Stiles was so upset, she’d broken his arm and he didn’t care, all he cared about was that his mom wasn’t well, and, Noah didn’t trust her with Stiles after that, he wouldn’t let him come anywhere near her, even when Noah was in the room with them, it didn’t stop her. She’d lost it, completely.” Melissa replied and Derek stared at her in horror, Stiles had never mentioned any of that, his mom had tried to kill him, and he’d not mentioned it, not once. “The day she died, Stiles had come to the hospital, I was here, I heard the shouting from nurses, they sounded panicked, frantic, it was so unlike them, I went to see what was going on, Claudia had collapsed in her room and she was unresponsive, a massive heart attack, Stiles was outside the room, he looked like he was going to be sick and there was blood, so much blood. Nobody seemed to know where it was coming from. We all thought it was Claudia’s. That she’d hit her head or something, and then I realised.” Melissa paused, reliving the memory, “Her last act, the thing that caused her heart to give out, had been to stab her child. Stiles hadn’t said anything, wanting to make sure we looked after his mom first. She’d stabbed an artery and he was in the hospital for two weeks before he was well enough to go home. The sad thing, the really awful thing, is that I knew Claudia before, when she was healthy, and, she doted on Stiles, she would have done anything for him, and, god, if she’d had any idea what she was doing, it would have killed her. I sometimes think that it did. That some part of her knew she was hurting Stiles and the heartbreak of it, of not being in control of her own actions, it was the thing that killed her.”
Derek stood in silence, no idea how to process the information, Stiles had lost his mom when he was seven, Derek had tried to imagine how he would have felt if he’d lost his mom at that age, he thought he’d manage, but the knowledge that Claudia had tried to throw Stiles off the roof, that she’d broken his arm, that she’d stabbed him, all because she was ill, it made him feel sick, and for Stiles to blame himself, for him to think it was his fault, god, Derek felt nauseous. He wished Stiles had told him, but it wasn’t like Derek had ever encouraged their friendship, no, most of the time he’d spoken to Stiles like crap, determined to keep him at arm’s length, except, Stiles had somehow slipped through all of his defences. He hadn’t torn them down or destroyed them, he’d just passed through, without even trying, and Derek? What had he done in return? He’d never helped Stiles, he’d never had his back in the same way that Stiles had had his. He’d not known Gerard had kidnapped him, not known that he’d been tortured, not known his dad had been shot and was going to die, hell, he didn’t even know where in the world Stiles was right now. Stiles deserved so much better than what Derek had shown him.
“I, um, he never told me any of that.” Derek muttered and Melissa let out a hysterical laugh, fighting back tears.
“He never told his dad or I that he felt that way, that he thought it was his fault. I can’t believe he’s thought that all this time, I should have made sure, I should call him, talk to him.” Melissa said and Derek couldn’t help but be surprised that Stiles had told him something that he hadn’t even told his father, he hadn’t realised it was supposed to be a secret, maybe he should have never said anything to Melissa? “God, is that why he never let us call him by his first name since? The one time Noah tried, he lost it, told us all that his name was Stiles and that he never wanted to be called that name again, god, it is, it has to be, my poor baby, I should have known, I just, god…” Melissa dissolved into sobs and Derek didn’t know what to do, he moved forward, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and tightening his grip when Melissa rested her head against his chest and sobbed like her heart was shattering into pieces, if Derek kind of felt the same way, well, he wasn’t going to admit it.
Derek wasn’t sure what the Alpha pack wanted, that was probably the worst thing, if he knew what they wanted then maybe he could work out a way to stop them before they hurt somebody he cared about, but he didn’t know how. They’d been in town three months so far and Derek had no further leads into what they wanted; he couldn’t help but think that if Stiles was here they’d have already figured it out.
Allison and Chris had taken to spending some time with the pack, not all the time, and Chris did his best not to spend too much time in the loft as he didn’t want his scent to be there until the pack were happy with him being there. It wasn’t a great situation, but they were all trying their best and that was all any of them could ask for.
His relationship with Scott was tentative at best, but they were both trying. Scott had come to him not long after Stiles had left, apologizing, saying it was his fault, that he’d been so wrapped up in his own life that he hadn’t even thought about Stiles or any of the others, his only priority had been protecting Allison and everything else had become unimportant. He apologized over and over, saying that he’d never bonded with Derek the same way that Stiles had but that didn’t mean he thought Derek was a bad guy, they’d just butted heads and Scott had dug his heels in.
Derek had apologized in return, saying that he’d been hard on Scott, too hard on him, but it had only been because Derek had been trying to help him, he’d gone the wrong way about it, Stiles had done a much better job than him, but, he had been trying to help. They’d both admitted that they were so wrapped up in arguing with each other that Stiles had been the one to suffer and that they had to put their differences aside, it was the only way that they could move forward.
They’d become…friends was possibly not the correct term, more like comrades, Scott was considered part of the pack which seemed to make everyone relax the second Derek made it official, and sometimes Scott still argued with him about doing things different ways. Derek did his best to listen to all the different suggestions the pack made, trying to take his time before diving into decisions, trying to think how Stiles would react to whatever choices Derek made, not that he ever told any of the pack that, he didn’t want them to think he was being an idiot, but, thinking about how Stiles would react to any decisions he made, it helped him, calmed him, made him think things through, and, he hoped, he made better decisions because of it. The thought of Stiles returning home, of him looking at Derek with disappointment when he heard all the stupid decisions Derek had made, it encouraged him to try his best, so that Stiles would never be disappointed in him.
Eventually he found out that the Alpha pack were there with the intention of getting Derek to kill all of his own pack and then he would join them. They wanted him to start by killing Cora. He’d stared at her like he’d seen a ghost, and, well, he had done. Cora was dead. She died in the fire. Derek knew that. Except, here she was, right in front of him, his little sister, alive, breathing, her heart beating rapidly, staring at him with the same shock on her features.
“I’m not going to kill any of my pack.” Derek snarled, his eyes flashing red dangerously as he faced off against Deucalion, the Alpha of the Alpha pack.
“Well then perhaps I’ll kill your little sister here instead.” He taunted, his claws extended and so close to Cora’s throat that Derek wanted to rip him apart for threatening her, instead he heard Stiles’ voice in his head, telling him to think his way out of this, there was another way, there had to be. If he fought Deucalion he would lose and his pack would be slaughtered, if he didn’t fight him then Cora would be killed instead. No, there had to be a third option. He just needed to think his way out of this. It came to him in an instant, he was not going to be threatened, he needed to do the threatening, ‘it’s what you’re good at’ Stiles’ voice muttered and Derek smirked ferally, Deucalion actually looked a little unnerved and Derek felt hope blossom in his chest.
“You want to do this, then let’s do it, because Allison Argent is part of my pack, and with her comes her father and the rest of her family. You threaten my pack and you’ll be the ones that die, yeah, maybe you’ll take me with you, I’m not going to deny you could probably beat me in a fight, but, the instant you move a single fucking inch, towards my sister or my pack, my pack is going to run, they’re going to run to Chris Argent and before you know it you’ll have a hundred hunters tracking you down, making sure you have no rest, no peace, until eventually you’re so exhausted that you’ll beg for them to end your pathetic existence.” He snarled, smirking when he saw Kali, Ennis, Aiden and Ethan all pale, looking worried. “Now, if I were you, I’d let my sister go and then I’d get the fuck out of Beacon Hills, I’ll be kind and give you half a day head start before I tell Chris Argent that you threatened to kill his daughter.” He looked to Allison, she was grinning widely, proudly, the bow and arrow in her hands looking deadly.
“I think I should just call him now.” She said and Derek smiled at her before turning back to Deucalion.
“Your choice.” He warned, he knew that if Stiles was here, he would probably be jumping up and down on the spot, pumping his hands up in victory, grinning widely at the Alpha pack as Derek outsmarted them. Derek couldn’t help but smile at the image in his mind.
“Deucalion…” Kali muttered looking worried, “We should leave.” Deucalion looked at her, then the rest of his pack, it was clear to all of them that if Deucalion attacked the Hale pack, he would be doing it alone.
“You’ll pay for this.” Deucalion said before signalling for Ennis to let go of Cora and storming off into the trees, Derek continued watching until long after the entire Alpha pack had vanished from view, convinced that if he looked away, they would take the opportunity to attack. Cora stumbled forwards, falling into Peter’s arms and Derek finally looked away, taking in his sisters battered appearance, unable to believe that she was here, that she was alive.
“Come on, let’s get you home and then you can tell us what happened.” Peter muttered comfortingly as Cora hugged tight to Derek, sobbing into his shoulder, unable to believe that her brother and uncle were still alive, that Derek was the Hale Alpha that was taking back Beacon Hills.
“I thought you were both dead.” She muttered, she couldn’t stop crying, she’d been convinced she was going to die and then Derek had appeared and not only had he saved her and his entire pack, he’d forced the Alpha pack to run for the hills without raising a finger, he was every bit the Alpha their mother had been and she was so proud of him.
“So did we. What happened Cora? How are you alive?” Derek asked as soon as they’d arrived back at the loft and Cora had had some food, a shower and had been introduced to the rest of the pack.
“I’d snuck out, the day of the fire, I was supposed to go around to one of my friends after school and mom had told me I wasn’t allowed, that she’d heard about a hunter in the area and it wasn’t safe. I ignored her. I snuck out. Then I felt the bond break.” She whispered and Derek winced, he remembered that moment all too clearly, the moment the bond with his mother, his Alpha, had vanished from his chest.
“Bond? What bond?” Isaac asked and Derek looked pained.
“A pack, when they truly become a pack, when they bond properly, you’ll feel a bond with your pack members and your Alpha in your chest, it takes time. For us, we’d always felt it, it was our family, we grew up and the bond matured with us. I’m still new to being an Alpha, you’re all still new to being wolves, we haven’t made a real bond yet, but it’ll come in time.” Derek explained.
“Right, so, you’re saying that eventually, we’ll all have bonds between us, that, we’ll be like, able to feel each other’s pain and stuff?” Erica asked looking worried.
“Yes and no.” Peter said, taking over from Derek which Derek was secretly relieved about, Peter definitely knew more about bonds than him, “Each pack has different experiences with their bonds, some claim they can feel every emotion, one memorable pack even said they could read each others minds. With our family, and I assume it will be the same with this pack as Derek is the Alpha, you’ll be able to feel connections to each other, and, sometimes, in times of great distress, you’ll be able to feel that something is wrong, you won’t be able to feel their pain per say, but, you’ll know that they need help. And, although your main bond would be with the Alpha, you’ll be able to feel slightly weaker bonds with each other too, but, like Derek said, it takes time. You’re all new to this, don’t be too hard on yourselves, it’s not an instant thing.”
Derek felt Cora’s and Peter’s bonds first, as they were blood relatives who he’d known in childhood it wasn’t exactly surprising. What was surprising was that Scott’s was the next to form, it took a few months and in that time Scott and Derek had grown closer, they’d started getting along much better. It was only when Scott had the option and opportunity to keep something important from Derek, but chose not to, that Derek decided he could trust him and a moment later he felt a warm tickle in his chest and he knew Scott had felt the same thing if the wide, happy grin on his face was anything to go by.
“You bonded with me.” Scott grinned, almost bursting with happiness and Derek rolled his eyes.
“Don’t make it a big deal, anyway, you were saying about Deaton?” Derek said, trying not to be embarrassed, refusing to look at Scott who was grinning at him and bouncing on the spot like an overexcited puppy. “Scott! Focus!”
“No fair! Why did you form a bond with him before me!?” Jackson said and Derek shook his head in bemusement.
“We’re not going into this right now. You were telling me about what Deaton said.” Derek said, trying to keep them on track. The downside to having such a young pack was that they got so easily distracted, especially when they were excited, which it was obvious they were right now.
“How’s it feel!?” Isaac asked, sounding hopeful and Derek smiled at him fondly as Scott pursed his lips in thought.
“It’s kind of weird, like, I don’t know, I can feel that Derek’s there, that he’s okay, that he’s, um, is that happy?” Scott asked and Derek stared at the ground feeling so embarrassed that he didn’t even know what to say.
“Focus! Deaton says there’s a magic user helping hunters?” Derek pressed, trying to distract them all from what Scott had said.
“Right, yeah, so, the way he tells it, there’s a hunter out there, or maybe multiple hunters, nobody is really sure, but they’ve got this magic user working with them and they’re basically killing anybody who even looks at them funny. He told me to make sure we keep our heads down for a few months, you know, don’t give them any reason to look at Beacon Hills.”
“Isn’t Deaton a druid though? I mean, surely he could fight or even defeat this other magic user long enough for us to reason with them?” Lydia asked and Scott shrugged.
“Nah, he says that his magic is like a two-year-old trying to do parlour tricks in comparison to freaking Merlin.” Scott said, Derek thought he maybe shouldn’t sound as excited as he did when this caster could end up killing them all.
“Does he have any other information? Names? Locations? Any distinguishing features?” Cora asked and Scott shook his head.
“No, and, really, it’s only rumours at the moment, for all we know, that could be all there is to it, but, I just, I wanted to make sure we were prepared, if anything did happen.” Scott said, grinning when he felt how proud Derek was of him in that moment.
“It’s not a big deal.” Derek muttered under his breath which Scott just smiled at and it set the rest of the pack off again, Derek had had enough so he headed towards the door, letting them all discuss it together as he headed to the hospital to see Noah.
He’d taken to speaking to Noah on these visits, telling him about what had been going on, he knew the man couldn’t hear him, that he was only there in body, but, he wanted to believe that some part of Noah knew what was going on and he wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone. He explained about the pack bond forming with Scott before any of his betas which had caught him by surprise, maybe it was because Scott had betrayed him previously and now he had proven that he could be trusted to look out for the interests of the entire pack, not just his own. Derek wasn’t sure, but, he knew it was a good thing, a step forwards, in the right direction, once Stiles came home, which he’d do soon, Derek was sure of it, then he would be able to see how Scott and Derek had put their arguments behind them, that they were now part of the same pack, that they were growing, getting better, becoming people that deserved to have Stiles in their lives.
As the months went on Derek began to form bonds with the entire pack, he was surprised by how suddenly they all seemed to come together, as if Scott had been the switching point and, all of a sudden, the rest of the bonds had formed after it. It was nice, incredible even, he felt like things were coming together again, he just needed Stiles to come home and things would be okay.
They’d called Sofia’s number multiple times, always leaving messages for Stiles, but, they never heard anything back, other than the odd text that he was fine, that he still hadn’t forgiven Scott or any of the others for not being there for him and that he wasn’t coming home, that he wanted them to stop contacting him, to leave him alone. Derek would do anything to hear his voice, to see him, but he was doing everything he could to make sure he respected Stiles’ wishes, he wanted to be kept out of this, that’s what they would do.
Melissa had finally forgiven Scott, she still sometimes pulled him up on his behaviour when he got too wrapped up in Allison, which Derek appreciated, mainly because Scott was still kind of oblivious and stubborn and sometimes he dug his heels in for the most ridiculous reasons so Derek appreciated all the help he could get.
School carried on for the pack as normal, well, as normal as it got in Beacon Hills, Cora had joined the same class as Lydia and the others, Derek hadn’t really thought about it before but if the fire had never happened then Cora would have been in the same class as Stiles, he wondered how things would have been different if the fire had never happened, if Stiles and Cora would have become friends, if Derek would have met him earlier in life, if Derek would have fallen for him as hard as he had.
He stilled at that thought. He was in love with Stiles. Holy shit. He was in love with Stiles. He shook his head to try and rid the thought from his mind, he couldn’t be in love with Stiles, the last person he’d been in love with had murdered his family, he couldn’t do it again, he couldn’t risk it again. It didn’t matter that Stiles had proven time and time again that he would do anything to protect the pack, so why couldn’t Derek risk it? Because he was scared. It was that simple. He was terrified of trusting somebody with his heart the same way that he’d trusted Kate, terrified of making the same mistake all over again.
Thankfully nobody else had been around to witness his epiphany, he was grateful for that, he didn’t even know what to do with the knowledge, Stiles wasn’t speaking to any of them, he could be anywhere in the world and he was safe, he was out of this life, Derek wanted him by his side, god did he want him here, so badly, but it wasn’t what Stiles wanted.
Before he knew it, it had been a year since the night of the lacrosse game, since everything had changed. The Hale house was finished, they’d only been in a few days so they were all still trying to get their bearings, buying furniture, picking out colours, figure out where they wanted things to go, usually Lydia decided and everyone else agreed because they didn’t want to argue with her, the pack had bonded over the last year, they were stronger, more in sync with each other, happier, the only thing missing was Stiles, they all felt his absence like a physical thing, but, there was nothing they could do about it, he wouldn’t even return any of their calls.