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No one Pillar ever comes to see him at the same time as another, unless there is a meeting. It is a strange coinciding of wills, as if not one of them wish to monopolize his time. A kind gesture to offer someone who can't do anything besides watch over them, and one he can only accept for what it is. Asking for anything more from them would be too much.
Kagaya knows that they would all lay down their lives for his sake, even if he doesn't want them to. In a better, less twisted world they would all be happy, living normal lives. But now, this is what they have been dealt, and the path they have chosen to follow. Just as he has, since he was old enough to understand his role in all of it.
And yet, there is one who he has bound to himself in a far bolder manner than respect and adoration. Gyoumei, a soul tempered with kindness and caution, has become a fixture in both his thoughts and his home.
He can't bring himself to regret it, not when he knows the sound of prayer beads as intimately as the sound of Amane's footsteps, or the softspoken questions from Kiriya. Gyoumei is one side of his shortlived happiness, and Kagaya hopes that he will remain until the end.
Perhaps some would call him greedy, inviting further possible unrest in his choice to give the blind demon slayer his love, and be given his in return. That may very well be the truth, but he does not want to let go of it.
He counts his blessings, that he knows Amane's kindness and strong will just as well as he knows Gyoumei's iron heart and gentle, calloused hands. That they do not shy away even as the curse crawls further and further through his veins, the everlasting testament to his ancestors' misfortunes.
He is loved, and he loves them in return, safe with the thought that they will understand what he needs to do.
-----
"... Gyoumei, will you help me stand? I wish to see the graves." Kagaya speaks softly, knowing that the Stone Pillar can hear him perfectly.
"As you wish." is Gyoumei's answer, followed by the sound of the prayer beads moving to one hand before the man gently helps him to his feet. Without anyone to guide him, the walk towards the gravesite is a slow one, but he knows the way. He's walked this way a thousand times before, and he will not stop until his legs give out.
Kagaya slowly, carefully steps into the gathering of stones and sotoba, the gentle breeze carrying the scent of incense towards him as he gently places a hand on the closest marker in reach. It's no longer as easy to know which marker belongs to who, but he still knows the names of those buried in this place.
The names of the slayers who fell in the line of duty, the names of those who died from too-severe injuries, even those who took their own lives from despair. Kagaya knows, and remembers. It is all he can do.
"Will you pray with me?" he asks, turning around slowly to make his way back to where he knows Gyoumei to be. The beads hitting each other with soft clacks marks his spot in this former garden, and he can't help but smile when he feels his hand meet the fabric of the pillar's haori.
"Yes."
And so they sit for a while, until Kagaya feels his throat close up. It's not the first fit he's had this day, nor is it going to be the last, so he takes comfort in the feeling of Gyoumei steadying him as he doubles over, chest heaving with each breath he takes. He tastes iron, and knows with a disturbing certainty that it's stained his clothes. Perhaps even the stones, too. It's difficult to tell, but it is of little consequence.
What matters far more is the approaching footsteps of Hinaki, who is in turn followed by Amane. It's only a matter of minutes until the familiar smell of medicinal tea hits his nose, strong enough to make lesser men gag from its potency. Still, he drinks it all in spite of his shaking hands, and lets Amane's gentle hands dab away the blood from his mouth and chin afterwards.
Neither remark on how one of Gyoumei's hands comes to rest on his cheek, nor how he leans into the touch as a flower seeks sunlight.
"Bring him back to his chambers, Gyoumei. I will prepare a new robe for him." Amane says, her hand ghosting over his for but a moment before she withdraws.
Gyoumei listens to her leave as he waits for Kagaya to move, and then leads the man back to his chambers. This time, there's no distance between them as the man uses him as a crutch, knowing that he will not falter.
And, while they wait for Amane's return, Gyoumei closes the sliding doors. It may not be the first time that the master of the house is indisposed, but there is something to be said about maintaining his dignity.
"... Come sit with me." Kagaya says, and he obeys without question. When Amane steps into the room, Kagaya is leaning against him, eyes closed. Still, he soon opens them again, and takes off the thankfully untouched haori before taking off his robe.
There's a pause as he slowly traces the path of the curse with his least affected hand, followed by a sharp intake of breath as he grazes a particularly raw patch of skin.
Gyoumei knows how far it must have spread since he last visited, but says nothing as he listens to the sound of rustling fabric as Kagaya dresses himself again. Then, he feels the weight of the man settling against his right side again, as if it's the most natural thing to do.
"Do you want me to stay?" Gyoumei asks, blinking unseeing eyes.
"Yes. Selfish though it may be." Kagaya answers, gently placing one hand over his. "But, this is enough."
A moment passes, and then Amane settles on Gyoumei's left side, mirroring her husband as she too places her hand over Gyoumei's. "We trust that you will return safely, no matter what." she says, a firm conviction in her words that strikes him as more direct than the gentle coaxing of Kagaya's.
"... Thank you." Truly, he has no other words to describe the feeling that settles in his chest, knowing that they keep him in their thoughts so drectly.
As all of their meetings do, this too must end. They know that well, and so when Gyoumei moves to stand, Amane is quick to do the same before helping Kagaya to his feet. She then reaches up, gently tugging at the beads around the pillar's neck before he bends just enough for their reach. She gently kisses him then, and steadies her husband as he does the same.
Gyoumei finds hers sweet, while Kagaya's kiss tastes faintly of bitter medicine and old, old blood. But there's a warmth in the gesture, one that he will carry with him alongside all of his other memories.
"I will come again when I am able." he says, and then leaves.
----------
When Gyoumei next comes to the Ubuyashiki estate, it is just after dawn.
Amane greets him in the garden, and leads him into the estate in little hurry. Still, she halts outside of Kagaya's chambers, and sighs softly before opening the doors. "He should still be sleeping." she says, speaking softly as she waits for him to step into the room.
Judging by the slow breaths that can belong to none other than Kagaya himself, it seems that she is right. Gyoumei's steps are quiet as he steps over to the futon, sitting down while Amane closes the sliding doors again to join him.
"How is he?" he asks, turning his prayer beads in his hands slowly, quietly.
"He can no longer stand on his own." Amane answers, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her husband's face. "We're making preparations for Kiriya." she then adds, and places her hand on Gyoumei's knee. "It is not yet his time, but... He needs to know that it is near."
"... And you know that he will not try to run away?" Gyoumei asks in turn, and takes her hand in his. It is not a question he asks lightly,
"He is the only son we have." Amane answers, her free hand coming to rest over Kagaya's. "He knows what he is meant to do, when the time comes."
"... You have raised them well." Gyoumei says, and gently squeezes her hand.
"We have certainly tried." she replies in turn, and then moves to stand up. "Have you eaten yet?" The change to something so mundane is deliberate, and he knows better than to call her out on it. The gods know that she and Kagaya have spoken at length about how to best raise their children, after all.
"No. I traveled for most of the night." he answers, content with speaking the truth. His last meal was shortly before he left for the estate, as it was not too long of a journey to make.
"Then, I will bring you food as well." Amane says, and quietly steps out of the room.
While her footsteps fade, Gyoumei turns his focus to the still sleeping Kagaya. His breathing hasn't changed, and still remains as calm as it was when they first entered. Gyoumei slowly, carefully reaches for his hand, gently brushing his thumb over what he can feel has been overtaken by yet more of the disease. The skin is strangely tough, but he knows that with just a bit of pressure, it will give just as a healthy man's flesh would. The difference is that the skin will break, like a scab.
There's a rot in the air around Kagaya, these days. It is inevitable, a fated sign of how little time he has left, and yet, he still pushes onward. Gyoumei knows this from how Kagaya carries himself during the pillar meetings, despite how with each one, they can all see his crumbling condition. It is only now that the man has given up on seeing to injured or despairing demon slayers in person, when his legs refuse to do anything but buckle under his weight. When knotted lines crawl along seemingly rotting flesh, and thus force him to do nothing but listen to the incoming reports of crows and give orders.
But now, in this moment, none of it touches him.
What does a man so devoted to their cause dream of, Gyoumei wonders. What tapestry of wishes does his subconscious weave, without the waking world's limits to decide its thread?
There's a shift in Kagaya's breathing as the man wakes, followed by the slightest of movements. He's turned his head towards Gyoumei, it seems.
"... I had a feeling you would come." Kagaya says, a sleepy sort of delight clear in his voice as he speaks.
"I hope I am not imposing." Gyoumei replies, knowing very well that his visiting the estate so early is unusual.
"You could never impose on us, Gyoumei. I am glad that you're here." Kagaya answers, with nothing but genuine joy at his presence ringing in his voice.
"Thank you." Gyoumei replies, a faint smile lingering on his face for a few moments before it fades.
As if to punctuate those words, the sliding door to the room opens to reveal Amane, who places a tray of food next to Gyoumei before circling around the futon with another.
"How did you sleep?" she asks, steadying Kagaya as the man slowly moves to sit up, comfortably leaning against her for but a moment. He hasn't yet let go of Gyoumei's hand.
"Deeply." Kagaya then answers, blinking. "I apologize if I scared you yesterday, it was not my intent." There is a clear tone of remorse in his voice, followed by a quiet sigh from Amane.
"It couldn't be helped." she says, resting her forehead against his before giving him a soft kiss. "Do you think you can eat today?"
"... Maybe." he replies, a bit hesitant.
Gyoumei is silent throughout this quiet, almost habitual exchange of questions between the two. Little inquiries into Kagaya's health that do not seek the impossible, but only to confirm the current truth. Briefly, he wonders how many of them truly know as much as Amane about the master's condition. He himself is privy to more than most simply by virtue of listening, but perhaps Shinobu is the closest. Her repertoire is poisons, but she knows more about medicine and such things than one might think.
The others may have little idea of the truth beyond how quickly it seems to progress, though he can't bring himself to mind it. Keeping them in the dark is but one way to ensure that they don't abandon their duties as pillars. That, in turn, is the reason he is trusted to know more. But all the knowledge brings is a grim certainty, that no matter how much he may wish otherwise, Kagaya will leave this world before long.
"Is there something bothering you?"
The question breaks him out of his thoughts, and he blinks. Oh, there are tears rolling down his face.
"... Yes, but it is of no concern." he answers, taking a moment to dry his tears. "I was simply, thinking."
"Of what?" Kagaya asks, gently brushing his thumb over Gyoumei's knuckles.
"What is to come, and how little I can do to stop it." he answers, finding honesty much easier to bear compared to the weight of lying to one of the most beloved people in his life.
"There is nothing that anyone can do at this point, Gyoumei. Please, don't torment yourself with that question any further." Kagaya replies, the gentle warmth in his voice giving way to something akin to sorrow. "There will come a time when you can mourn, but that is not now."
"How can I?" he asks, his voice wavering for just a moment. "Your kindness saved us, and yet you must leave this world in far more indignity than you deserve."
"It is what it is, this fate of mine." Kagaya replies, gently laying his hand against the other's cheek. "But, I will not give in quietly. Until Muzan's ashes are scattered in the wind, I will not let the karma of my bloodline end my life." There is no room for questioning his intent, no space to ponder the meaning behind those words. It is the desire of all demon slayers to see the end of their suffering and pain, and he is a conduit for that desire.
"Now, will you let us spoil you for a moment?" Kagaya then asks, swiftly turning their conversation elsewhere. He doesn't wish to linger on the matter for any longer. There are simpler joys he wants to take part in while he still can, before he sets the gears of his final act into motion. A final act that only a scant few shall be aware of.
"As you wish." Gyoumei answers, gently kissing his hand.
----------
Some time passes without any reports of demon attacks, and the mark training starts without much of a hitch. Kagaya listens to the sounds of the almost empty estate as Amane gently wraps his arms and head. The skin has been showing signs of infection as of late, cracking and bleeding without much warning. Now, it's a trial to even sit up. Exhaustion has settled in his bones, weighing his limbs down with invisible chains even with the breather that this time without constant avian visitors should be.
Amane sits with him once she finishes, and he knows that any words of comfort he could offer will only ring hollowly in this room.
So instead, he decides to speak of other things.
"Thank you, Amane." he says, hearing her breath hitch in response to the intent behind his words. "For choosing me, for staying by my side all these years. I can't thank you enough, for letting me be yours."
"... I would do it all again for you." she replies, gently stroking his hair. "I am sure that he would, too."
"Yes... I hope, that he will forgive me for my selfishness." he says, sighing softly. "But he is the only one who can do what I ask."
"He loves you, Kagaya. He would walk through the flames of hell for you, for us." Amane speaks softly, carefully shifting him so he can rest his head in her lap. "If there is one thing he can forgive, it will be this."
"... Are you certain about staying?"
"Yes. I want to see the scum responsible for your pain with my own eyes."
"Thank you."
--------
There's nothing that Gyoumei can do now except prepare for his part in Kagaya's plan, and yet, he still finds himself standing outside of his chamber at dawn. Everything is in place, including the demon woman and her protege. The explosives have also been put into place, ready to be triggered at Kagaya's signal. There is nothing left except to wait, and see just how far this sacrifice will take them.
He hopes to take Muzan's head, and he knows himself well enough that he will be grateful for it when the time comes. But now, the sun is rising. There is yet time for farewells, farewells that were almost forgotten in the midst of planning.
Thus, he steps inside. He hears the faint sound of Kagaya's head turning, and that is all the signal he needs to speak.
"It was an honor to be yours, and to call you mine." he says, blinking away tears in vain. This isn't the way things should have ended, but this is the path that they're walking. It's time for them to diverge, and there is nothing he can do but bid goodbye to the two he loved above all else.
".. The honor was mine. Thank you, for bearing with my last selfish request." Kagaya says, and even without sight, Gyoumei knows that he is smiling. "I will be praying for your victory."
Amane gently wipes away his tears with her sleeve, and grasps his hands in hers before speaking.
"Please, don't die. Not even after it's all over." Her words strike his emerging grief more cleanly than any sword ever could, and all he can do is nod while more tears pour down his face.
"Live, Gyoumei." she finishes, and cups his face gently for a few scant moments before withdrawing.
Those are the last words that they choose for him to hear, before he takes his leave for the final time. This room, the halls that he so often passed through, will be gone by the time he returns. It will be a smoldering, burning wreck, and all he can do is hope that they will pass on peacefully.
They have done more than enough to deserve something so small.