Chapter Text
Shen Qingqiu carried his boxes up the steps of the apartment. He had to walk slowly as the rain outside had momentarily blinded him through his glasses. The way up to his new flat wasn’t too bad. He could have gotten the fourth floor and had to carry all his stuff up there. Second floor was okay.
Once he reached the top of the stairs he set down his boxes and reached the door. Briefly he wiped his glasses on the collar of his shirt clearing his vision, then put them back on. Sliding his hand into his back pocket Shen Qingqiu found the keys his parents had given him. He looked at it with disgust.
He was trying not to be miserable about the whole thing. He really was, but being kicked out by your (well off) parents who tell you to live in this (not well off) flat just felt like he’d been wronged somehow.
His parents had been fine with him staying home most days to scroll through the vast internet and just do what nerds do. He attended all the important university lectures, his grades were excellent, he even had a summer job for a few a months.
But no. As soon as he has a near death experience that came in the form of a heart attack it’s time to blame the computer. In fairness it was in front of a computer but Shen Qingqiu actually blames it on the horrible excuse for a stallion novel “proud immortal demon way”. Surely it was all that horrible writing that nearly killed him!
Nether the less, his parents decided it was best for him to move out and “experience the world” which was essentially a kinder way of telling him to get a life.
Jokes on them, Shen Qingqiu is not as incompetent as they thought, and had already secured a job part time at the library. Now all he had to do was successfully greet his roommate and set up his computer monitor then things would go back to normal.
Shen Qingqiu shoved the key into the lock and turned it sharply. There was a dull click as the door swung open.
Clearing his throat he got ready to greet his roommate.
Only to find a young man sprawled across the floor. There was carpet fuzz and dust everywhere and the mans brown hair looked like it had been blown backwards with a leaf blower. It was sticking up in all directions.
The pathetic person on the floor wasn’t even moving, just staring at the ceiling eyes devoid of hope.
That was until he noticed Shen Qingqiu heavily judging him form the doorway.
The young man scrambled up desperately off the floor.
“Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean for that to happen!” he hastily apologised patting down his blue T-shirt. “I’m Shang Qinghua by the way!”
“Shen Qingqiu.” Said Shen Qingqiu still judging his roommate.
“I swear, I was trying to make the room cleaner, not messier. It’s not my fault! The hoover just kinda exploded everywhere. I don’t even know what I did wrong!” Shang Qinghua whined.
Shen Qingqiu Walked over to examine the clunky hoover on the floor. It looked brand new, as if it had never been used before.
Immediately he spotted where things had gone wrong.
The nozzle wasn’t even attached. Not to mention the lid to the dust container was no where to be seen.
“There’s no lid.” Shen Qingqiu deadpanned.
“Oh.” His new roommate replied dumbly. “I could of sworn I put one on.”
“What about the nozzle?” Shen Qingqiu asked thinking that the man could not get any sadder.
“Okay, I admit, I definitely didn’t put one of those on.”
Shen Qingqiu was wrong.
This had to be the saddest man in the world.
Shen Qingqiu decided he couldn’t be bothered to deal with this, and wanted to move in properly before he had to deal with the emotional weight of his roommate being incompetent.
So standing up, Shen Qingqiu walked over to the door and began to pick up his boxes.
“It doesn’t matter about cleaning the place now, we’ll do it later.” He said tucking the stack of boxes beneath his chin.
ShangQinghuas face brightened at the suggestion.
“ Ah great idea! So wise!” The sad man praised. “Do you uhh want any help with luggage?”
“No,” Shen Qingqiu said “Some people are coming over later to help me get the big stuff in. It’s fine.”
By “some people” he meant his parents but he wasn’t about to let Mr. Incompetent here know that.
“Oh good then.” Shang Qinghua said awkwardly. “Oh! Your rooms on the left! The one next to the bathroom! In here is the main room which you can also see is doubling up as a kitchen. Uh, my rooms the one on the right by the storage cupboard. Oh and the dishwasher doesn’t work so just keep track of your bowl for now. I’ll wash them at the end of the week.”
“Okay, thanks...” Shen Qingqiu said trying really hard not to be disgusted by that last bit.
“See you later! I’ll be in my room if you need me!” Shang Qinghua said quickly, dashing off to escape the awkwardness as quickly as possible.
Shen Qingqiu sighed heavily, then carried his boxes to his room. It wasn’t as big as his old room, but it wasn’t small and cramped either. There was one window next to the bed and a bookshelf and desk already there. Nice.
The first thing he did was unpack his monitor. He spent the next ten minutes rebuilding, it returning it to its former state. Ah, what joy it brought him to see it assembled in all its glory again.
He took a moment to geek out and admire his computer, then flicked the switch at the plug socket and booted it up.
Taking a seat in the not very comfortable wooden chair (he’d get a comfier one in this afternoon) Shen Qingqiu logged in and opened up his tabs after entering the wifi password he got from his phone.
He smiled as the familiar cucumber PFP appeared in the corner of his tab. Many forum pages, a few web novel sites and a video explaining the detailed lore of middle earth’s Deities popped up all at once.
This was more like it. Now, Shen Qingqiu had a lot of catching up to do.
Clicking the home screen for the PIDW fan page, Shen Qingqiu browsed the number of active chats going on at a time. Most of them looked boring. He wasn’t interested in those people that mindlessly praises the book. No.
Shen Qingqiu was a man of literature. A true web novel connoisseur. There’s no way he’d ever praise this trash. What he was looking for was a good place to drop his critiqué.
And after clicking two pages ahead on the chat list it looked like he’d found it.
13 people online
2 ghosting
Seven people typing...
Shen Qingqiu smirked, and decided to enter the chat as a ghost for now. Not going to get involve until he felt he needed to.
Chat _ 15 : Fuck Proud Imortal Demon Way
Bing_boi200 : Okay, Okay I get what u r saying but there’s no need for you to trash talk Luo Binghe like that
Cameridoesntcare : Why the fuck not. He is literally trash.
Cameridoesntcare : Or did you miss the point of everything I just said?
JGS_plsadoptme : Hey, if you hate the novel just go somewhere else. There’s no need for you to be starting fights here.
Yellowice : yikes
Cameridoesntcare : I’m not. I’m stating my opinion.
Bastardman_ : No one cares about ur opinion it’s trash, go die
Yellowice and Jesus have left the chat
Wen_N1ng : I care. I think it’s interesting to debate these things.
Bastardman_: shut up u MDZS ass fan girl go talk about wangxian somewhere else like the rest of u MDZS ass bitches
Cameridoesntcare : Literally calm down. She didn’t say anything about MDZS.
Bastardman_: it’s in her username r u dumb
Bing_boi200 : Hey please stop that, it’s kinda mean ,,,
WenN1ng : is typing ....
WenN1ng: All I wanted to say was I kind of agree with @Cameridoesntcare. They have point Luo Binghe is only ever nice to the females in this book.
Bastardman_: Thats because he can fuck them! What the hell is he going to need to be nice to a guy 4??? They don’t have pussy!
JGS_plsadoptme : he could be bi. I headcanon that.
Bastardman_: Ew what? Luo Binghe isn’t a fucking gay. He likes women.
Bing_boi200: she said headcanon! That means it’s fanon! What is ur problem? And why do think it would Kill LBH to be nice to a man for once? It could be plantonic. He could make a friend for once!
Dhair : :/
Bastardman_: He doesn’t need friends, they’ll just be rivals to steal his girls from him. It basic animal instincts. That’s why he beat up MBJ to show his superiority as the dominant male. It told him to not take any of his wives. If he had been nice to MBJ then his wives wouldn’t be explicitly his! Are u dumb?
Cameridoesntcare : Okay Mr. Alpha male, go away to beat up your “rivals” or something to make yourself feel manlier. Just leave you are making a scene.
Bastardman_: You know what! I will! Fuck this chat and all these weak ass people I hope you all die.
Bastardman_ has left the chat
8 people online
2 people ghosting
Shen Qingqiu leant back in his chair and pondered for a second, before hitting the space bar and entering the chat.
Peerlesscucumber has entered the chat
Cameridoesntcare : good riddance. That guy was getting on my nerves.
JGS_plsadoptme : tell me about it.
Dhair : this is low key why LBH stand are the worst
Dhair: *stans
Bing_Boi200 : Oh come on man. What has he ever done wrong?
Cameridoesntcare : Seriously? Do you need a list?
Peerlesscucumber : Luo Binghe is far from a good person. Even airplane knows that. He wasn’t written to be a kind person, he was written to be badass. Unfortunately airplane failed at that and now the protagonist just seems like a jerk.
Cameridoesntcare : finally someone who knows what they are talking about.
Dhair: think of all the times he has killed people just because he could.
JGS_plsadoptme: those were different times! Killing people was normal back then!
Cameridoesntcare : you say that like it take place in real history and isn’t just a made up fantasy.
Peerlesscucumber : No. no. @JGS_plsadoptme has a point. But just because it’s set in a kill or be killed world did not mean LBH has to behead that old lady in the latest chapter. She was literally just a passerby and he did that to just show off his strength to the enemy.
WenN1ng : I did think that seemed kinda OOC for him.
Peerlesscucumber : This is because Airplane can’t write consistent characters. They constantly break character to do something plot convenient. If she could write more consistently it might make the book slightly better.
Bing_boi200: Okay, I do slightly get what you mean.
Cameridoesntcare : Basically this is all airplanes fault. She should just stop writing novels. PIDW is literally so trash.
Peerlesscucumber : I agree with you partially. I think PIDW is a lost cause but if airplane can take a writing course of something her writing might improve over time and she could attempt to write a different book.
JGS_plsadoptme has left the chat
Dhair: I also don’t think romances are for her. You can tell she’s never been in an actual relationship.
WenN1ng : Who? Airplane?
Dhair : yh
Cameridoesntcare : hard agree. She should try something else.
Peerlesscucumber : Maybe an action novel or something. The fight scenes are the only ones I think have slightly improved. Sparing the unrealistic random surges in strength LBH gets when it’s convenient.
Dhair: Agree
Dhair: K bye
Dhair has left the chat
WenN1ng: I gtg now. But interesting debate guys. See you around.
WenN1ng has left the chat
Shen Qingqiu glanced at the top corner of the chat screen. One person still ghosting. About three people online still. This chat was dying and he supposed it was time to take his leave.
Still, when logging off Shen Qingqiu was glad he at least had his computer set up. When his parents came round later maybe he’d go out for dinner. He didn’t fancy staying around to see if his new roommate could cook.
“Yeah.” He thought to himself “I’ll do that.”