Chapter Text
Animals can sense when something bad is going to happen. Like when their owners were going to get hurt or a disaster was coming. And they tried to warn people, but they never take heed.
Mika wasn't an animal, but he had a bad feeling in his stomach.
It started a week before Shu was supposed to leave for France. It started small, easy to ignore. But as the fateful day approached, the feeling grew and grew and soon Mika had a tough time ignoring it.
He was at the airport to see Shu off when it got so bad that even his chest started hurting. He followed Shu around as they made their way to his gate. They soon found it and Shu turned to Mika.
"I can go on my own from here. You should go home," he said. He turned to leave but Mika reached out to grab his sleeve. Shu sighed in annoyance and looked at him.
"Kagehira, we talked about this," he said and Mika whimpered slightly.
"I know, I know... But Oshi-san..."
"What is it?" Shu asked, sounding concerned when he noticed the look on Mika's face. Mika stared at him, he was just overreacting. Shu would tell him that if he confessed what he was feeling.
"It's nothing. Just... Promise me you'll come back," Mika said and Shu scoffed.
"Of course I'll come back," he said and Mika tightened his grip on his sleeve.
"Promise me! Please, Shu-san," he said, using Shu's name. It caught Shu off guard and he heard the desperation in Mika's voice. He put down his bag and pulled Mika close, giving him a firm hug. Mika returned the hug, clinging to him tightly.
"I promise I'll come back, Mika," he said softly. Then he pulled away and gave Mika reassuring smile. So Mika had to let him go.
But it left a very hollow feeling in his stomach.
---
He was eating dinner when Arashi called him. He pressed the answer button but before he could even say hello, Arashi started yelling.
"Mika, turn on the news now!" Arashi said. Mika was surprised to be called his name without the honorific.
"The news? Why?"
"Just do it!"
"Alright, alright," Mika said as he got up and headed for the living room. He was living in a small apartment that Shu helped him get before he left. He grabbed the remote and turned on the tv, then clicked to the news.
'Plane crash' was the first words he saw and he felt his blood run cold.
"Mika, the plane number! Was that Itsuki-san's plane?" Arashi asked but Mika didn't hear her. He was staring at the plane number on the screen. He dropped his phone and the world around him began to lose color.
"Oshi-san... It's not true... You promised to come back," Mika said. When heard the words 'No survivors found yet' he dropped down to his knees.
"He's gotta be alive. He can't be dead..."
Unfortunately for Mika, it didn't turn out that way. No one survived the plane crash and Shu's body was sent to his family for a funeral. Shu's parents tried to offer him comfort, even though they were hurting as well. They had arranged a funeral and several classmates came to attend. The rest of the Oddballs, Ra*bits, Switch, and 2wink were there. Even Madara, Izumi and Leo were there. And Arashi came to offer support for Mika.
Mika hadn't cried once since he had seen the news, not even when he saw Shu's body laying in the casket. But when it was time to lower the casket in the ground, he broke down. First, it was just a few tears, but when they started covering the casket with dirt he started sobbing. His knees gave out on him and he would have fallen if Arashi had caught him. He didn't stop crying until long after the hole was filled.
Arashi accompanied him home. Mika felt very numb, he couldn't feel anything. Arashi fussed over him for a while and made him food but she had to go home when it got late. Mika ate the food she cooked for him, but he couldn't taste it.
He didn't leave his home for a couple of weeks. Arashi called him daily but some days he couldn't be bothered to answer her calls. It was a chore to even get out of bed. And when he did, he just went through the motions. Finally, Arashi came by and forced him out of his apartment. She took him to a nearby cafe. She ordered drinks for both of them as well, Mika hadn't said a word since Arashi had gotten him.
"Mika-chan... Please talk to me. Are you okay?" She asked and Mika shook his head.
"No, I'm not. I don't know how I am. I can't feel anything Naru-chan," he said and Arashi reached across the table to grab his hand.
"That's normal, you just suffered a loss. But Mika-chan, you can't let grief destroy you. I don't think Itsuki-san would want that," Arashi said and Mika let out a whimper.
"I know. But Naru-chan, what can I do? I can't live without him. Without him, I'm a puppet with no strings! What can a doll do when their master is gone?"
"Mika-chan... You're not a doll. You're a human being. And I know you'll be okay. But even if you are hurting, you can't just stay locked up in your apartment. You need to get back into routine, it could help you," she said. Mika stared at her and tears welled up in his eyes. It didn't take long for them to start rolling down his cheeks.
"That's nice of you to say Naru-chan... But how can I do that? What should I do?"
"Only you can decide that. You're used to Itsuki-san directing you, but that's not going to happen anymore. You need to start moving on your own."
"I know Naru-chan," he said reluctantly, reaching up to rub his eyes. If he thought hard about it, he could almost hear Shu scolding him, telling him to get up and move forward. And maybe that wasn't healthy, but he needed that to help him get going.
---
A year passed. Mika slowly got back into the swing of things. He started working again. He managed to go to school even though all he wanted to do was stay at home. He used Shu as motivation, thinking of what he might say if he were still there, until one day he didn't need to. Until he no longer needed to use Shu's scolding to get out of bed, to keep doing what he had to do.
He finally graduated from Yumenosaki. He had formed a new unit with some first years, knowing he could not continue as Valkyrie. Not without Shu. So his days as Valkyrie were over. But he was content with his new unit at least. He left the school grounds, telling his unit mates he had somewhere he needed to go.
Which is how he ended up in front of Shu's grave. He went through the motions, cleaning the tombstone and plucking weeds before lighting an incense. He reached into his bag and pulled out a plate, setting it down in front of the grave. Then he took out the bag from the bakery he stopped at on the way and laid the croissants on the plate.
"Hey, Shu-san... I hope you don't mind me calling you that instead... I graduated from Yumenosaki today. I'm going to start my idol work with an agency with my new unit. Maybe you're disappointed I didn't keep Valkyrie alive. But can you be proud of me instead? I just couldn't do it, I can't be Valkyrie without you."
His eyes started to sting but he blinked them away. He wouldn't cry, not here. He didn't want Shu to see him crying.
"I still miss you. Every single day. I'm sorry I didn't bring Mado-nee with me, I didn't have time to stop at home to get her before coming here. I promise I'll bring her to visit next time," he said. He reached out and laid his hand over the engraving of Shu's name.
"I wish I had told you... The day you got on the plane, I had such a bad feeling. I think it was the same thing animals get when they can sense something bad. Maybe I was suppose to stop you, I should have saved you... No, I couldn't. You would have went no matter what, wouldn't you?"
There was no answer of course. He sat in front of the grave and started humming one of Valkyrie's songs. He didn't know what else to say, it was hard to talk when there was no one to answer him. But he was sure Shu understood. He stayed for a while, until the sky started growing dark. He sighed and started cleaning up.
"I'm sorry I didn't say much. I just really wanted to tell you I graduated and that I plan to keep being an idol. I hope you'll support me Shu-san. Maybe you think my new unit can't beat Valkyrie, but my unit mates are good kids. So please support us. We'll try our best... I'll try my best," he said as he stood up. "Goodbye Shu-san. I'll come and visit you again real soon."
And then he turned and walked away from the grave.