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“Saudade”
There isn’t a word in the English language that quite conveys the same feeling. The closest thing would be ‘missingness’ but it doesn’t have the same impact.
Saudade, from Portuguese: A nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost; “the love that remains”.
Phoenix wasn’t exactly skilled with linguistics or foreign languages but upon going to Europe to meet Edgeworth he and Trucy made a quick stop in Portugal. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something maybe too rough about the german language?
He liked the sound of Portuguese. The words. The murmur he’d hear on the streets of Lisbon. He couldn’t make head from tails of what the locals were saying but they were quite affable and understood English just fine, so his and Trucy’s stay in the capital was very fulfilling however short.
And that word, “Saudade”. It stuck like glue. So it surprised Phoenix when Edgeworth came back to America and held Phoenix so tight and whispered him these words: "I've missed this…". Most surprising was that upon uttering those words a Psyche Locke appeared.
But why?
He had to figure out, or his name wasn’t Phoenix Wright!
“I’ve missed you too, Edgeworth.”
Saying it back didn’t get the lock to break, so he had to keep trying.
“Dinner?” Miles offered with a flourish, holding the defense attorney’s hand, to which Phoenix gracefully accepted.
And then it happened again over dinner.
Miles stared down at his glass of wine and then back at his lover with a shy smile.
“I’ve… missed this.”
No good. The lock was still there. No matter how much space Phoenix had given Edgeworth to recount the events of his latest travel whilst stroking the other man’s hands with his own. He seemed relaxed but something was clearly off.
Wright then had an epiphany.
The sun had nearly set on the litoral coast. Miles certainly was confused as to why Phoenix brought him to a barefoot walk on the beach. He didn’t hear the Chief Prosecutor complaining - just his expression of utter confusion contrasting Phoenix’s sheer joy.
Miles, had told Phoenix, he didn’t get many chances to come to the beach, (off-duty at least) not even when he was younger. Which saddened Wright, who loved the beach and on his early attorney days, would take Pearls and Maya to the coast as often as he could. He thought that doing something impromptu and spontaneous could help Miles loosen up even more - and maybe get rid of that pesky Psyche Locke.
Edgeworth had seen them but he knew better than to mention their presence to Miles “I am a man of science” Edgeworth. He could be quite stubborn when he wanted to, and Wright preferred to avoid an argument at the moment. He would rather save those later for near bedtime when they were both alone in a room… where Phoenix had the freedom to be as cocky as he wanted because he’d knew the other man wouldn’t be able to resist him then.
Right now, however, he had to find a way to break the walls Miles had built around him. He had done it more than once. The defense attorney had no idea why, but he felt that by reaching the significance of missingness and corresponding to it wasn’t quite what would break him.
Then, he remembered.
“ Saudade .”
Both their palms were clasped together in a tight embrace. Phoenix took the lead and the two moved away from the ocean to rest on the sand. Watching the sunset, hands still being held tight, the orange hue tinting Miles’ hair and face giving him an amber glow. He then repeated what he’s been saying since he arrived.
“I’ve… I’ve missed this.”
Wright, sealing these words with a kiss mustered the courage to reply appropriately. That oughta do the trick.
"I've missed this too. I mean, us. I've missed us , Miles. I’ve missed you so much it made my chest ache. I’ve been longing for you ever since we got separated in Berlin. No. Even longer. You were always such a nostalgic figure in my life like you were ethereal and not entirely real. Part of me was scared and thought ‘what if he never comes back? Again?’. You and I have been separated for so long, so many times, but here we are. Like our fate was written in the stars and they did everything in their power to keep us apart. But we crossed the stars for one another. I guess… what I’m trying to say is that… I love you, Miles Edgeworth.”
And just like that, cued the sound of Miles' final Psyche Locke being utterly shattered. But it was not nearly as satisfying as how the Chief Prosecutor reacted next.
Before he could react, Wright’s body collapsed on top of the sandy shores. Miles had clasped the other man’s body with a strength neither of them thought capable. Both just stood there, holding each other tightly. Phoenix was really dusty and full of sand but that didn’t stop either of them from attacking the other with kisses. And suddenly the tides stopped shifting, the earth stopped spinning and the two conjoined breaths of both attorneys just felt lighter.
And that little expression in Portuguese that expressed longingness and love, although not being quite right, that moment they were sharing together, translated better than words ever could.
"Me too, Phoenix. Dearly so."