Chapter Text
2011
SEBASTIAN: Cardigan or Blazer?
Blaine's heart jumped a little - it was unnerving to get a text from Sebastian Smythe at the exact moment when Blaine had been thinking about the new Warbler.
But it's not like he'd been mooning over him.
It was just pretty much impossible to not think of Sebastian while Santana and Rachel were basically singing about him. They were rehearsing "A Boy Like That," but really, Kurt should be the one singing Santana's part, and Blaine should be singing Rachel's part. The song basically mimicked the conversation he and Kurt had after Sebastian left Scandals the night before.
"If he was really mean or was trying to steal me away from you, he would have shoved you away on the dance floor, or been nasty…"
"No," Kurt had said, looking shrewd. "He wouldn't be so blatant, he's a snake, he sneaks up on you, slowly gets you to trust him, then makes it seem like it was all your idea to break up with me."
"I am never going to break up with you, Kurt," Blaine had said, reaching over to rub His boyfriend' s knee. "Don't worry about him. He didn't try to get me alone all night, he invited both of us, after all. I think he just wants to have some connection with other gay guys his age. There aren't that many out guys at Dalton, remember? Even snakes need friends."
Kurt had just shaken his head and looked cynical.
Blaine bit his lip at the text, not sure if or how he should reply. He wondered if he should feel guilty.
BLAINE: Sorry, what do you mean? Sorry, I'm kind of out of it today
SEBASTIAN: Thad's been marathoning Friends again and he's asking everyone stupid questions from some game that was in it. He's calling it "This or That" or some such insanity. Tokyo or Amsterdam, suspenders or vests, etc. I wanted to confirm that you agree that Dalton cardigans should be banned. Everyone will agree that the great Blaine Anderson's vote is worth that of 10 run-of-the-mill Dalton boys, help me out, Killer
BLAINE: What do you mean by banned? Sorry, I'm not sure I should be helping anyone today, I'm not well
SEBASTIAN: How hungover are you hah
BLAINE: Not much anymore. Most of that's passed, I just have some headache still
SEBASTIAN: It shouldn't still be that bad, you didn't drink that much. Make sure you drink a lot of water and pound some aspirin
BLAINE: I will, thanks.
SEBASTIAN: If you had only used some of your sexy moves from last night in "Raise Your Glass," you would have beat ND last year
SEBASTIAN: How is rehearsal
Blaine started to type a reply without thinking, then went back and deleted it:
BLAINE: [unsent] Ok, if I could stop thinking about last night.
BLAINE: Fine
SEBASTIAN: You don't sound fine. Ditch rehearsal, let your understudy rehearse. Get some more rest and sleep off that hangover
BLAINE: I wish. I shouldn't
SEBASTIAN: Where's Shirley Temple? Aren't boyfriends supposed to take care of you when you're feeling like crap?
BLAINE: He's here, he just isn't next to me
SEBASTIAN: Why not? He was so good at shimmying next to you last night. I thought he was going to shimmy into your sweater vest right there on the dance floor
BLAINE: [unsent] he thought you were going to dance into my pants right there on the dance floor
BLAINE: [read]
SEBASTIAN: He taking you for granted already? Even if he was only a Warbler for a hot second, he can't forget that he's dating The Blaine Anderson. Also how is he not taking the opportunity to dress up like Florence Nightingale?
SEBASTIAN: btw are you into that sort of thing? Is that the appeal? 'Cause I look amazing in a bustier. ;)
BLAINE: …
SEBASTIAN: Don't pretend you don't find my honesty incredibly charming
Blaine huffed out a chuckle and smiled in spite of himself.
BLAINE: I just don't know how to reply to you most of the time
SEBASTIAN: Take your time, Beautiful. I'm just here doing my calculus homework. I'm here for you, babe
BLAINE: You should do your homework, don't mind me. Sorry I'm not much of a conversationalist today, I'm just trying to sort some things out
SEBASTIAN: Dark and mysterious, it's a good look for you, Mr. Anderson
BLAINE: What do you mean?
SEBASTIAN: I mean you're being vague about what's bothering you
SEBASTIAN: Didn't you say the other night that I'm a good listener?
BLAINE: Yes, thanks again for listening to me vent about my dad
SEBASTIAN: Fire away, then
Blaine looked on the fence for a moment. It was tempting - he didn't want to seem like he was badmouthing Kurt to anyone at McKinley. And different parts of last night were just replaying in his head over and over, so maybe just getting it out and sorting it out would help it stop. Maybe Sebastian could help him figure out how to apologize to Kurt.
BLAINE: Kurt and I got into a fight.
SEBASTIAN: [unsent] *fistpumps*
SEBASTIAN: What happened?
BLAINE: After you left I wanted to have sex with him
SEBASTIAN: [unsent] why
SEBASTIAN: You were still pretty drunk, then?
BLAINE: Not really, we waited awhile after you left for me to sober up. I was feeling romantic because WSS has had me thinking about what I want for my life as I grow up, like Tony did when he outgrew The Jets and opened himself to loving Maria.
SEBASTIAN: If you were thinking about Tony and Maria at Scandals you definitely weren't sober
BLAINE: I was more like tipsy. I was sober enough to walk to a bus stop without getting lost or run over.
SEBASTIAN: What happened to your car? You could have called me, I could have given you a ride.
BLAINE: Thanks, but I would've been terrible company
SEBASTIAN: So why the hell would Hummel get in a fight with you when you were dtf
BLAINE: Kurt didn't want to be romantic, he just wanted to go home, but I was trying to explain, to remind him that he had literally just said the day before that having sex with Taylor Lautner on a lilac field was on his bucket list! And then later on the same day, he said we had a whole bunch of firsts to start crossing off our lists!
SEBASTIAN: You're way hotter than Taylor Lautner, I still don't see the problem here.
BLAINE: We were going back and forth about it, he was trying to get me to lie down to sober up more in the back seat of the car, but tipsy me was convinced that I could persuade him by kissing him and then he suddenly got REALLY mad and said he didn't want to do it because he didn't think I was sober enough to remember it the next day
BLAINE: [unsent] and he didn't want to do it after I'd spent half the night dancing with another guy
BLAINE: Then I got mad at him for yelling and I walked to the bus stop and now I'm wondering if he thinks I was completely creepy, like I was forcing myself on him
SEBASTIAN: You were not creepy. You guys just weren't in the same place
BLAINE: But he said no and I kept trying, it might have seemed like I was ok with non-consensual
SEBASTIAN: Ohio doesn't define consent. He could have convicted you of rape if his submission to sexual conduct was a result of fear, but there was no point in that fight where Hummel was afraid of you. You were just a sweet, sloppy drunk who didn't meet his prissy standards of Bronte sex on a Wuthering Height
SEBASTIAN: Rape is about power, not sexual desire. You were not trying to force yourself on him to show your dominance, control. You were being a sappy boyfriend who just needed to be allowed to cool off. He should have let you stay at Scandals for longer to sober up more.
BLAINE: Wow, you know a lot about this
SEBASTIAN: My dad's a States Attorney, there have been some dinner table conversations about this shit
BLAINE: He'd be proud of you. And I really really, REALLY appreciate you bothering to text all that
BLAINE: I just don't know where to start to apologize to poor Kurt
SEBASTIAN: You do know that he owes you an apology, too, right? He shouldn't have been an asshole to you when you were just trying to do the whole sex with feelings thing. Maybe you were annoying about it and were too slow to get where he was at, but don't think you are the only one who screwed up.
BLAINE: Yeah, his yelling didn't help matters. I understand why he lost his temper, though.
BLAINE: [unsent] Part of it was he was insecure about you
SEBASTIAN: Even if you know why, that doesn't justify the bitchiness. You got too tipsy, but he made it worse by yelling at you.
BLAINE: Yeah. I think we'll be okay if we talk it out. Thank you so much for listening. Kurt won't believe that you helped me figure out how to make-up with him
SEBASTIAN: I wanted to help you, but don't go ruining my reputation by talking to people about it
…
AFTER OPENING NIGHT OF WEST SIDE STORY
SEBASTIAN: It's okay if he was terrible in bed. It's good that you found out sooner than later
BLAINE: I told you, I am not discussing my sex life with Kurt with you.
SEBASTIAN: You just discussed it with me yesterday
BLAINE: You guessing that I lost my virginity, yelling that across the Lima Bean, and me turning red and leaving before I even got my coffee is NOT a discussion
SEBASTIAN: So how are you going to dump him?
BLAINE: I'm not! That's not funny, you know things were just delicate between me and Kurt.
SEBASTIAN: How can you stay with someone who's bad in bed?
BLAINE: I never said he was bad in bed! Again, not discussing it with you!
SEBASTIAN: You never said he was good in bed, either
…
BLAINE [Photo attachment]: HALL OR OATES?!
SEBASTIAN: Mario, bring Blaine back before I carpetbomb Mushroom Kingdom just to light that thing on your face on fire
BLAINE: Hahahahahah It's fake of course, we did "You Make My Dreams Come True" today in glee club
SEBASTIAN: Thank you for clarifying that you were in glee club. I was concerned you might be doing that song for Wood Shop.
BLAINE: Hahah wouldn't that be a sight?!
SEBASTIAN: You're missing the mullet. If you're gonna do it, do it all the way
BLAINE: Puck got the mullet wig, we rock paper scissored and I lost. It was so hilarious, I'll send you the link once Artie uploads it
…
4 HOURS LATER
SEBASTIAN: Orange juice or cranberry, Porsche or Lamborghini?
BLAINE: Haha Thad at it again? What's the game called again?
SEBASTIAN: Answer the questions, Anderson!
SEBASTIAN: This or That
BLAINE: Lol yessir. Cranberry and Porsche. You have to give me your answers, too, right?
SEBASTIAN: Orange juice with vodka, Cranberry without. Also Lamborghini. But never bring orange juice OR cranberry inside my Lamborghini!
BLAINE: No sir! :D Don't I get to ask some of the questions?
SEBASTIAN: Tu peux m'en poser, monsieur.
BLAINE: Ok, how about waffles v. pancakes
SEBASTIAN: I wanted to say neither - duh, crepes - but Thad gets really whiny when I think outside of his nerdy little box. So I had to pick Belgian waffles, pancakes usually end up feeling like rocks in the gut.
BLAINE: Waffles for me, too - my favorites are between pancakes and crepes in consistency, so they are perfect
SEBASTIAN: Such analysis! Dalton misses your brilliance
BLAINE: Pfft, your turn
SEBASTIAN: The guy from Tangled or the guy from Mulan?
BLAINE: Ooooh. That's a larger discussion. But it's kinda late we should go to sleep
SEBASTIAN: I can't sleep, 'cause I can't stop seeing that low budget porn mustache version of you in my head. Make it stop, make it stop!
BLAINE: Omg you need to stop being inappropriate!
SEBASTIAN: That's not inappropriate! It's just descriptive! I'm just saying that if I flunk my chemistry test tomorrow because I can't function in a test environment in a sleep deprived state, it's your fault.
SEBASTIAN: History has shown that you love it when I get a little inappropriate. #scandals ;)
BLAINE: I was drunk, that doesn't count!
SEBASTIAN: The Mulan guy would stand by his actions, no matter how drunk he was! The Tangled guy would definitely be inappropriate from time to time.
BLAINE: Hah! I don't know which I'd pick, that's a hard one! Flynn Ryder was such an irresistible rogue. I loved how he became a good guy after all - it was a nice change from all the perfect Prince Charmings. But Li Shang is allowed to be intimidated by Mulan even while he retains his masculinity...impressive. And he's arguably the first bisexual hero!
SEBASTIAN: Lmao something tells me you've discussed this on a Disney forum somewhere
BLAINE: I have no shame about my love for Disney
SEBASTIAN: If you're on the fence then we'll say you chose the Tangled guy because I know you're always on Team Sebastian
BLAINE: Of course you'd pick Flynn, hah
SEBASTIAN: Why do you say that, Prince Eric?
BLAINE: Because you ARE Flynn Ryder. They must have spotted you somewhere, observed you and then wrote him!
SEBASTIAN: Hmm now I want to look for Prince Eric and Flynn Ryder fanfiction smut
BLAINE: Aaaaaand this is where I sign off. Smh
SEBASTIAN: Oh come on, that's very borderline inappropriate. I'm just trying to displace the Groucho Anderson image! Fine, how about you send me another pic of you in those tiny Dodgeball shorts, that wouldn't be at all inappropriate ;)
BLAINE: Good night, Sebastian :)
SEBASTIAN: Good night, Killer. ;)
…
SEBASTIAN: Hold your applause, I got the Warblers into the Presidential suite at the Buckeyes game on the 26th. But if you bring a foam finger I will kick you out of your seat, is 2g
BLAINE: I wish I could come but Mr. Schue added extra practices that day to improve our dancing. Have fun
SEBASTIAN: …
BLAINE: What
SEBASTIAN: How are you not doing backflips about the fact that I got us into the Presidential suite. And how are you not sobbing more about not being able to come?!
SEBASTIAN: [unsent] I got the stupid suite for you, the least you can do is show me some tears
BLAINE: I'm sorry, I'm not myself today. The girl who played Anita in WSS found out yesterday that she's going to get outed in a political campaign TV ad
SEBASTIAN: That's fucked up. Who did it
BLAINE: Finn. Sort of. He said something in the hall and a girl overheard. Poor Santana. She's really closed off emotionally, too, so it's extra awful for her - she's wasn't even out to her family yet. Finn asked us to all sing female empowerment songs for her. Kurt and I tried to show our support today by singing F*cking Perfect to her but she shut us down. I don't know what we were thinking. We should have picked something more empathetic, she wasn't ready to just be loved. It was too simplistic of a message.
SEBASTIAN: She's only had a day to deal with the news. For all you know she got bitchslapped by her own mother last night. There is absolutely nothing you could have sung that would have been received well - believe me, I know. I can tell just by watching her play Anita that she's a lot like me.
BLAINE: I never thought of that before - that's actually true. I just wish there was more I could do
SEBASTIAN: She knows your oversized heart is on standby. She is just too much of a bitch to admit it
BLAINE: She's not a bitch, you have to get to know her
SEBASTIAN: I say that as a compliment!
BLAINE: Hah
…
The texting that continued over the next couple of months surprised Blaine, in a way. He actually grew quite fond of Sebastian, despite Kurt's distaste for the new Warbler Captain. Sebastian was not all that he seemed on the surface, but Kurt refused to let any reports from Blaine sway him. Sebastian was cool and wary with people at first, but he obviously possessed a growing affection for the Warblers and some of the other boys at Dalton who Blaine liked. The Warblers seemed to have accepted him, which said a lot in Blaine's book. Yes, Sebastian didn't suffer fools gladly but Blaine admired Sebastian's courage to do or say almost anything, no matter what others might think.
All of this made Blaine feel pleased to be one of the few people Sebastian seemed to respect and open up to. He also was impressed by how Sebastian stood up to his fearsome father, something Blaine hadn't yet done with his own. Sebastian's relationship with his divorced parents was complicated, but he had, somewhat surprisingly, what seemed to be quite strong ties with both of his grandmothers. Kurt thought this was a lie. Blaine wished his boyfriend could get past Sebastian's sharp tongue to appreciate that he was also actually witty, intelligent, and refreshingly honest. He was also great company, having impeccable taste, an insatiable appetite for fun, and being a surprisingly good listener. And no, his constant flirting didn't hurt Blaine's ego.
…
The texts slowed during the Warbler's holiday community concert series and the flurry of the "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" public TV special. All communications came to a halt just before the holidays.
Sebastian: [unsent] Rumor has it you gave a promise ring gum wrapper to Dopey Smurf. That's quite literally this time, trash for trash
Blaine assumed Sebastian was busy with his mother in Paris.
2012
When school was back in session Sebastian's texts were fewer and farther between, until eventually they stopped again. Surely this was because of Dalton's notoriously stressful midyear examinations. Blaine was busy with his own exams, along with helping Kurt rehearse for his NYADA audition.
By the end of the exam period Blaine was surprised to get a cryptic text:
SEBASTIAN: You might not hear from me for awhile. I'll be back in touch
BLAINE: Why so mysterious? :) Where are you disappearing to? Celebrating exams being over? Oooh are you going to a Skull and Bones Society event? I wasn't at Dalton long enough to find out if the really existed, is that it?
BLAINE: I've been playing Thad's game in Glee Club, water park or rollercoasters?
SEBASTIAN: [read]
Sebastian was quiet for another week. When he re-emerged, he called instead of texted - and Blaine knew instantly why. Sebastian was too drunk to text. Blaine almost didn't recognize his tipsy drawl, asking about how to get red wine stains out of his blazer.
He was being very funny, but Blaine had to go back to class before he could get more details on why Sebastian was drinking at 9AM in the morning. He figured he could try calling him later that afternoon, after he went to the Lima Bean after school with some of the New Directions.
Big mistake.
It was a colossal mistake not to call Sebastian sooner. After Sebastian hijacked his coffee with Santana, Kurt, Rachel, and Artie, Blaine ducked into the restroom before they all headed over to Dalton to find out why. But even after multiple attempts Sebastian would not pick up the phone. Blaine gave up and texted him instead:
BLAINE: How long are you going to ignore my calls?
SEBASTIAN: How long before you dump Hummel
BLAINE: What's gotten into you? Why did you sell me down the river about MJ? And why would you steal our setlist?
SEBASTIAN: Not your setlist, just a set artist. Your attention to detail is really slipping at that public school. We were toying last week with the idea of MJ, you merely reminded me of it.
BLAINE: Did I do something to make you angry? I don't understand why you would do all this
SEBASTIAN: Don't act so surprised. I'm a Dalton Boy - we're in it to win
The trip to Dalton was an unmitigated disaster. Sebastian drew them there with the promise of a negotiation, only to launch the Warblers in a performance of "I Want You Back" which flaunted their new, next-level choreography and the intimidating charisma of Sebastian's lead vocals. It felt like an attack, as did the shit-eating grin on Sebastian's face as he taunted Blaine during the performance. Worse was when Sebastian accused him of abandoning the Warblers.
Blaine needed a serious break from Sebastian after "I Want You Back."
He blocked him after "Bad."
If Sebastian tried to text or call, Blaine didn't even want to know. If he had more scheming moves to make, (or, far less likely, apologies to make), Blaine didn't want to hear it.
While he lay in bed, his eye throbbing, the betrayal cut deepest. Dalton was the best decision he had ever made. After being hospitalized as a freshman he felt broken and lost, but Warblers had been a lifeline. He also took strength in being part of something even bigger than the Warblers - the history, the legacy, the power and beauty of Dalton Academy. He found family, belonging and identity as he struggled to not be a victim and find himself as an out and proud young man. He acknowledged belatedly that one of the main reasons he gave Sebastian the benefit of the doubt (when Kurt did not), was because Sebastian was from Dalton, a Warbler even. The Warblers were a real brotherhood and Sebastian was Dalton legacy (his father and grandfather had attended) - how bad could he possibly be?
How naive Blaine had been! The Warblers were not the forever noble clan he had assumed them to be, they were just another school club that could shift under the rule of a corrupt leader like Sebastian. Sebastian may not have been born evil, but he had let his competitive and selfish side get the best of him. He had flipped like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, from someone who had been so caring, to become a nasty villain who didn't care who got hurt.
It felt like the end of Blaine's innocence.
…
A MONTH LATER
Surprisingly, it was Santana who texted Blaine about Sebastian:
SANTANA: Believe it or not, One Percenter Warbler wants to meet up tomorrow
BLAINE: You mean Sebastian?
SANTANA: Yeah.
BLAINE: Did he say what he wants to meet about?
SANTANA: No. If this is another trick I'm gonna to claw his skinny ass til it bleeds, and then I'm gonna hurt him.
SANTANA: Britt thinks he might want to apologize cuz he wanted me to get you to come. idk, doubtful
BLAINE: Did he ask Finn and Rachel to come, and Kurt?
SANTANA: Nope. Britt thinks he's afraid of Berry so he starting with us, hah
BLAINE: You shouldn't go alone. I don't think it's an apology
SANTANA: Britt is coming with me. I don't care if he apologizes. I'm just gonna lay it down and make him stop all of his bullshit.
SANTANA: You can help or I can do it alone, it's all good
BLAINE: I'll think about it, and I'll ask Kurt. I'll let you know in the morning
Blaine thought about it all night. It wasn't likely Sebastian was apologizing, he hadn't been apologetic when he slushied Santana, and he'd been nasty when the New Directions had gathered for "Black or White."
Blaine had frankly been angry when he heard Santana and Kurt had given Sebastian their tape of Sebastian's confession. Maybe Blaine wouldn't have pressed charges, but he would have liked to have had the opportunity to decide that on his own. Kurt had wanted to see the Warblers lose at regionals instead. Blaine made Kurt at least not tell Burt about any of it, so it wouldn't get back to Blaine's father. Mr. Anderson would have been enraged that the evidence had been so casually discarded. Kurt never apologized about any of it, but Blaine couldn't find the energy in him to hold on to his frustration about it. He just tried to focus on the fact that this time, he had a boyfriend waiting for him when he came out of the hospital.
The next morning Blaine didn't tell his parents about Sebastian wanting to meet. It was yet another awkward family meal and he didn't want to bring everything up again. Ever since his parents arrived at the hospital, his mother had looked like she was out of her depth again. It was just like his freshman year hospitalization - his father looked disappointed and angry again, too.
He felt better when he texted and called Kurt. He always did- having Kurt meant he never had to feel the kind of loneliness he used to feel. His beautiful mother was loving when she was around, but he didn't have the heart to take much of her time. She had enough to worry about, organizing events for greater Westerville's high society. Even decades later she still felt like a Broadway chorus girl from the Bronx who had to prove herself worthy to his father's blueblood family.
Blaine had never felt close to his father, even before his awkward coming out. Cooper was the one who teased their dad and played basketball with Mr. Anderson on the rare occasions their father wasn't working. Perhaps this was because Cooper had been an only child for ten years before Blaine was born. They denied it, but Blaine strongly suspected he was an "oops" baby.
Even though Cooper could be harsh, Blaine was always closest to his brother, so when Cooper left home at 18 to move to Hollywood, Blaine had been devastated. The deep isolation and depression he felt was only alleviated when he performed and wrote music in his bedroom, when he moved into Dalton, and when he fell in love with Kurt. Songs always ended, Dalton had let him down, but at least being with Kurt meant he would never be lonely again.
In the end he decided that he should go with Santana to the Lima Bean. She had stood up for him and taken a slushie for him - he should go with her. It was nice that Brittany was going to come for Santana, so he would ask Kurt to come too - it was so comforting to have a boyfriend in times like these.