Chapter Text
After having spent the past two weeks feeling absolutely wretched, Hux had finally forced himself to go to medbay to get checked out. The only time he ever visited medbay was for his biannual health examination, a check-up that was required for all officers regardless of their rank. If possible, Hux would have very much preferred to skip the process altogether, but even if he could do so, he knew that in the end he wouldn’t, not wanting to set a bad example for his men if they were to become aware of such a thing.
As such, to go there without prompting, and willingly at that, was indeed a rare occurrence. Even the head physician Doctor Fahey had looked momentarily surprised to see him there before quickly schooling his face into its usual professional expression. While Hux had never said anything out loud that would imply it, the doctor appeared to be aware of his distaste for medbay. He wasn’t wrong of course, and honestly Hux wouldn’t have gone at all if he hadn’t felt like all the symptoms he had experienced thus far were worsening day by day.
Fatigue, nausea, stomach cramps, constant sweating, sensitivities to both lights and smell, as well as a complete lack of appetite – although admittedly that one wasn’t unusual for Hux – none of them appeared to be letting up in the slightest. And while normally he would have been happy to ignore them and simply get on with things like he always did, Hux feared that they were beginning to have an adverse effect on his work. Despite his aversion to medbay and doctors in general, Hux couldn’t allow such a thing to stand. If not for his own sake, then at least for the sake of the First Order.
With their frantic search for the Resistance’s current location, Hux couldn’t afford to be in such a miserable state in which he found himself moving about sluggishly on the bridge and struggling to even climb out of bed in the morning. Stars, just the other day, he had almost let out a yawn when in the presence of other people, only just barely managing to stifle it in time. His only saving grace was that he was sure that none of the officers on the bridge had been paying attention to him at the time, too engrossed in their own work to notice. Nonetheless, to have anyone witness him doing so would have indeed been disgraceful.
Deciding that he needed to nip whatever apparent illness he had that was affecting him in the bud before it got any worse, Hux dragged himself to medbay, hoping that it would be easy to diagnose and therefore cure.
Curiously from what Hux could tell, none of the bridge staff or any of the other officers he had frequent interactions with appeared to be ill, all continuing to function capably and as skilful as usual. While he was glad that whatever it was that was ailing him did not seem to be contagious, the fact that it appeared to be unique to him made him slightly uneasy.
While he told himself that he was being ridiculous, that it was merely some strain of the flu or whatnot that somehow simply wasn’t easy transmittable to others, all the way to medbay Hux had been unable to shake his feelings of unease; fearing that there really was something horribly wrong with him.
Trying not to let his tension show to Doctor Fahey – a doctor or no, the man was still technically his subordinate and thusly it would be inappropriate to show too much weakness in his presence – Hux relayed his symptoms after which the doctor had a med-droid take some bio-readings from him. However, when he suggested the droid take some blood to run tests on as well, Hux had instantly tensed. He hadn’t had any taken in years.
“Is that really necessary?” he questioned, trying to keep his voice even.
“I believe it is, sir,” the doctor replied, “It will be much easier to pinpoint the exact cause behind your symptoms if we do so. Not to mention it’s makes the process faster.”
“So I suppose it’s not just a simple case of the flu then?” Of course Hux wouldn’t be so fortunate.
“I don’t believe so, sir, no. That’s why I would argue that it’s important to run some blood tests so we can be sure exactly what it is.”
Hux refrained from sighing. It would do no good to refuse, and as Doctor Fahey had highlighted it would make it go more quickly. Considering his rank and status, it was imperative that he be in good health at all times so he could adequately fulfil his duties to the Order. “Alright then, go ahead.”
And so without any further protest, he rolled up the sleeve of his uniform jacket, allowing the med-droid to take some blood.
“If it’s something that we’ve come across before, it shouldn’t take too long to identify and diagnose the problem.” Hux didn’t even want to entertain the possibility that they might not be able to diagnose it, knowing that it would only serve to remind him of how the doctors who had treated his father just before his death had absolutely no idea of the strange illness afflicting him. Not that his father dying from an unknown illness – all part of Phasma’s successful assassination attempt – was a bad thing of course. Hux had taken great delight in Brendol’s death after all.
Hux supposed that in the very least, he could take comfort in that whatever malady he had it wasn’t the same one as his father’s otherwise he would have been essentially reduced to an indistinguishable gooey substance not long after his initial symptoms first began.
While he could have quite easily have returned to work and come back later when the doctor had his results, Hux chose instead to wait in medbay for them. As the doctor had assured him, it wouldn’t take too long to figure out the problem; the First Order’s medical expertise being top-notch after all. And it would be a waste to leave only for him to have to immediately come back. In the meantime, he could simply work remotely on his datapad.
It was a short while later when Doctor Fahey returned to his office. As he took a seat behind his desk Hux noticed almost instantly that he appeared anxious. While he wouldn’t say that he was particularly well acquainted with the man, Hux was quite sure he had never seen him look so concerned before. It was a clear indication as any that something was wrong; that something had shown up in tests he had ran and that it had him rattled.
And yet Hux couldn’t help but thinking that surely with his profession, Fahey should be used to delivering bad news by now. That being a senior physician, having to tell stormtroopers and officers alike that because of the damage they sustained in battle or due to whatever illness they contracted that sadly they just wouldn’t make it, should be second nature to him.
Hux wondered that given his rank of both General and commander of this ship, if the doctor perhaps feared being punished for delivering any sort of bad news.
Such a thing was ridiculous. But then again, if he had the misfortune of having to treat Ren in the past, Hux supposed it wasn’t that surprising for him to worry that someone in such a position of power might lash out at him. Hux however, unlike his co-commander, refused to lose his composure no matter what was said to him.
Nonetheless, regardless of his determination to keep a stiff upper-lip, Hux felt his heart start to race. He couldn’t afford to be afflicted even the most treatable of illnesses right, let alone have a possible life-threatening disease. Not when they were so close to finally wiping out the Resistance once and for all.
Hux sat up straighter in his seat, placing his datapad in one of the pockets of his greatcoat that he had placed on the back of his chair. He had taken it off not long after the doctor had left, finding the office unbearably hot.
“Doctor Fahey, have you discovered the cause behind the symptoms I described?” Hux asked, refusing to let his concern show even if he was becoming ever more convinced by the second that whatever news he received it would be grave.
“Yes. Well, I believe I have, sir, but…” Fahey trailed off and as he did so, Hux found himself frustrated with the doctor’s uncharacteristic hesitation. It wasn’t just that Fahey was nervous either but the fact that he was clearly uncomfortable as well.
“Well, spit it out then. That’s an order,” Hux all but snapped, unable to take the suspense any longer. So much for trying to maintain a cool façade, he thought somewhat shamefully.
“Of course, sir,” Fahey quickly replied, “But first there’s something that I must ask you.”
Hux frowned. He really wished the doctor would just tell him what the problem was already. “Fine. What is it that you would like to know?”
“General, are you a…Well, I imagine that you’re aware already given that…” He coughed. “In any case, you do know that you’re an omega, don’t you?”
While Hux’s heart had been racing just a minute ago, it now felt like it had stopped beating altogether.
Now it was his turn to hesitate. “I…”
No. This couldn’t be happening. He knew? Fahey knew what he really was?
But of course he did, thought Hux miserably.
He never should have allowed that damn droid to take a sample of his blood; should have told Doctor Fahey to diagnose him based on his bio-readings alone. It may have taken slightly longer, but they would still have the same results of whatever illness he was suffering in the end.
He had simply assumed – and incorrectly at that it seemed – that his secondary gender wouldn’t show up on whatever tests the doctor had been planning to run on his blood. After all, blood tests weren’t usually required to identify such things, it being more than obvious when an individual presented as either an alpha, or in Hux’s unfortunate case, as an omega. The only times when such tests were ever requested were generally from deluded parents desperately hoping that their beta child might turn out to be an alpha and that they were simply a late bloomer.
But now apparently whatever test the doctor had run had revealed Hux’s awful secret; something that he had been trying so desperately to conceal since he had presented for the first time almost two decades prior. Everyone who had been aware of what was undeniably Hux’s greatest shame was now thankfully dead. Or at least that had been the case until a moment ago.
Subconsciously Hux felt for the monomolecular blade that he kept concealed within the sleeve of his jacket at almost all times. While he wasn’t exactly the most athletic person, he imagined that if he moved swiftly enough, he could slit Fahey’s throat before he got the chance to say anything more, effectively silencing him for good.
But no, such a death would be far too messy. For starters Hux wasn’t sure how he would go about explaining the doctor’s death. While he could claim that Fahey had tried to attack him and thus he had no choice but to kill him in self-defence, it would undoubtably lead to a lot of questions.
What Hux needed was to be discreet about it. However, that involved planning and if he spend too long deciding how to implement the doctor’s death, he ran the risk of Fahey blabbing to one of his associates, or worst, to someone at high command about his shameful secret.
Stars, there was even the possibility that he told someone already before returning to his office.
If that really was the case, then Hux’s fate would be sealed. He would be ruined, disgraced. He would have to –
“General?” spoke Fahey, startling Hux out of his thoughts.
“Yes. I’m aware of course.” Hux forced himself to answer.
“On all of your medical records you’re listed as being a beta,” said Fahey, stating the obvious.
“Yes.” There was no point in trying to deny that he was an omega, the doctor having the proof of what he was right in front of him. There was no arguing with it. Science was absolute after all.
“Based on this, I can only assume that you didn’t inform any First Order medical personnel when you first presented as an omega then?”
“No. My father was the only one aware of what I was.” Am. That’s right. Hiding it or not, he supposed that he had never technically stopped being an omega.
Brendol had been the one to help Hux cover it up after he had presented. In truth it was the only decent thing Brendol had ever done for him in his entire life. Not that he had helped him for Hux’s sake of course. It had simply been a case of Brendol being unable to handle anyone learning that he had an omega as a son.
“Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly disappoint me anymore you just had to go and prove me wrong, didn’t you, Armitage?”
Hux immediately pushed his father’s words out of his head.
“I see,” said Fahey, looking somewhat troubled.
Surely the doctor had to understand why he had done what he had. Revealing himself to be an omega would have ruined the possibility of him having any kind of military career. And given that he had been in training to be a commanding officer since he was five-years-old, his entire life up until then would have been all for nought; completely pointless. He had refused to allow something as irrelevant as him being an omega get in the way of achieving his goals, even if it did mean having to conceal what he really was from every single person around him.
Hux cleared his throat. “In any case I highly doubt that me being a –” No. He couldn’t bring himself to say it, even after all this time. “– well, that my true designation has anything to do with my current illness. Now, if we can focus instead on –”
“Actually, I’m afraid it does, General,” the doctor interrupted, “I do believe that you are in the preliminary stages of heat.”
Hux’s breath caught in his throat. “No. That’s… That’s impossible. I’m on suppressants. I have been for a good many years now.” Almost two decades at that. “As such, your claim that I’m going into heat,” He spoke the word with a great deal of disdain. “Well, it’s just not feasible.”
“And are you taking your suppressants daily?”
“Yes.” He took them like clockwork each morning, never missing a dosage.
“I presume that you’re not mated?”
“No.” Hux replied coolly, the thought of allowing himself to be mated to some bullish egotistical alpha filling him with scorn.
The doctor nodded. “I thought so. Then, may I ask how long it’s been since you last experienced a heat?”
Hux felt his cheeks redden at the question. He hated this; hated acknowledging that he actually was an omega let alone discussing anything to do with being one.
“Is that really relevant?”
“I believe it is, sir.”
“I can’t recall,” Hux answered stiffly. It was a lie of course. He knew exactly when it last was.
“Has it been a matter of years?” Fahey asked.
“Yes,” Hux replied, offering up nothing else.
The doctor sighed. “I suppose that explains it then.”
But for Hux it explained nothing.
“I believe that the long and extended length in the time since your last heat has caused your body’s natural defences to push through the effects of your suppressants to help urge you into…well, what your body is originally intended for.”
Hux glared at him. “And what exactly is it that my body is intended for, doctor? To be nothing but a mindless vessel for some foul and horny alpha to impregnate me with his spawn of his mewling pups?!” Hux snapped furiously.
By now it was clearly evident that his heat was affecting not only his body but his emotions as well. While he had found himself becoming frustrated rather easily these past several days and on occasion even upset, he had managed to refrain from losing his temper and yelling at any of his subordinates thus far. Snapping in such a way was beneath him. He wasn’t an unstable man-child like Kylo Ren after all. Regardless, the insinuation that breeding was what he was truly intended for, his true purpose so to speak, stung deeply.
Did his achievements, all his vast accomplishments up until now really account for nothing all because he just so happened to be an omega? He would rather die than have to succumb to his omegan nature; to exist only as some wretched alpha’s broodmare. And if that was what the doctor really was suggesting, well, he would kill him right here and now. He no longer cared how it would look.
But seemingly he had misunderstood as the doctor was quick to explain
“Of course not, sir! I didn’t mean to imply such a thing. Not at all,” said Fahey, sounding slightly aghast that that was what Hux had thought he had meant.
“I see,” replied Hux, feeling somewhat embarrassed.
Hux didn’t believe that it was wrong of him to assume that the doctor had intended it that way considering he was well aware of what many officers in the Order, in particular those old elitist Imperials, really thought about omegas and what their roles should be within the Order. Or more accurately their lack of role in it other than to breed and do exactly what their alphas demanded of them that was.
“I just meant that with you being an omega –” Hux had to stop himself from cringing at the word. He never really had a problem hearing it before but when used in conjunction to describe himself, Hux found he couldn’t stand it. Just hearing it made him want to be sick. “- your body is adapted to…well, experience heats in order to procreate, sir.”
Hux knew the purpose behind heat cycles. He didn’t require a bloody biology lesson.
“It’s what your body expects. Regular heat cycles are important for keeping your body healthy, even if you have no intention of procreating and falling pregnant.”
Of course Hux had no intention of ever falling pregnant, just as he had never had any intention of letting anyone know that it was even a possibility for him. As far as anyone was aware, he was like any other normal healthy beta; capable of getting a female beta pregnant and nothing more that.
“Uh, but of course we are no longer merely slaves to our biology,” Fahey continued, “Medical science has allowed us a certain degree of control in regards to how we manage our bodily functions, to alter the cycle of both heats and ruts so that they occur at less inconvenient and instead more opportune times of our choosing.”
More opportune times? For Hux, there had never been an opportune time for him to experience a heat. The further he had made his way up the First Order military hierarchy, the less he could afford to take even the shortest leave of absence less someone swoop in and try to seize his position from him. It continued on and on and with each new promotion he had been granted there came to be even more people vying for what he had. Furthermore he had never wanted to take the chance that one of his rivals might attempt to follow him and discover Hux whilst he was in the throes of his heat. If it was revealed that he was an omega, his military career would have come to an abrupt end and his place in the Order thrown into disarray.
As for Fahey bringing up heats and ruts, Hux thought it was unfair comparison. While heats were naturally occurring based on regular cycles, ruts only happened to alphas very occasionally, and in Hux’s opinion only affected those who lacked self-discipline and were too weak-willed to control themselves when around an omega who smelt particularly alluring to them. When it came to alphas like that, Hux held the utmost contempt for them.
“As you know, it is now much easier for omegas to live lives in which they don’t find themselves burdened by mounting and frequent heats. Also, thanks to scent suppressors, they can avoid attracting any unwanted attention from the alpha’s surrounding them. However, I’m afraid even medical science has its limits. It’s not perfect, and so in order to achieve the advantage of controlled heats, one must compromise and regularly go through them to maintain biological stability. But as you’ve been neglecting your heat cycles your body has begun to rebel and started to reject your suppressants.”
Hux wanted to throttle the doctor for his use of the word neglect. If he had given into his body’s urges and taken time off to experience a heat, it would be paramount to ignoring his duties to the First Order, and in his opinion, that was far worse a crime than tending to his own inconvenient biological needs. From the moment of the Order’s formation, he had been taught that the demands of the First Order must come before all else.
“Yes, I understand all of that. And here I am now paying the price for my negligence as you so put,” said Hux, almost sneering. “My question, however, is what is there that can be done about it?”
“Done about it?” the doctor asked, sounding confused.
“To stop my heat before it progresses any further,” Hux stated, feeling that that should be more than obvious, “Clearly the suppressants I’ve been taking are no longer fit for their intended purpose, but another kind should be able to halt my heat at least.”
Given that Hux couldn’t simply go to medbay and request some, every few months or so he would have a batches of suppressants ordered discreetly onto the Finalizer under the guise of something else for his own personal use, it really having been the only way he could obtain them without risk of being discovered. The brand he always acquired were supposedly the best on the market, something which was reflected in the hefty price tag attached to them. However, given the fact that they had suddenly stopped working for him Hux found himself now very much questioning the claim; so much so that he was rather tempted to track down the precise location of where exactly they were manufactured and have the entire factory burned to the ground. Perhaps he would even have the entire planet destroyed just for good measure. Although admittedly, with the loss of Starkiller Base, such feat would be more difficult to accomplish.
“I’m afraid at this stage, stopping your heat isn’t possible, sir.”
Hux stilled at that. “What do you mean it’s not possible? Surely you must have some heat suppressors here in medbay.” While all the officers and stormtroopers on the Finalizer were either alphas or betas, many of them – the officers at least – had their families here on the ship with them, some of whom like Hux shared the unfortunate fate of being an omega. And while there was probably no need for them to be on suppressants, many no doubt happy in their position of being dutiful and submissive omegas to their alphas, it only made sense to have some suppressants onboard for certain mitigating circumstances and as Fahey had said, when having a heat just wasn’t convenient.
“We do have some aboard, but your test results show that your body is well into the final stages of pre-heat. By this point, there is no way of preventing it. All suppressants share the basic chemical components. Even if we were to give you a new brand, they would be rejected, just as your body has rejected your current suppressants. If anything, giving you more would make things worse,” Fahey explained.
“And you’re sure of that?”
The doctor nodded. “I am.”
“Then no matter what, I’ll be going into…” Hux trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, his body feeling far hotter now than it had been just mere moments ago.
“Yes. I’m afraid so.”
“How…How long do I have?”
“I do believe that full effects of your heat will be underway within the next cycle or so. Honestly with the symptoms you’ve described, I’m surprised that you haven’t succumbed to your heat much sooner. It could almost be considered impressive if denying yourself from experiencing a heat for so long wasn’t such a foolish thi…” The doctor immediately stopped, his eyes widening as he suddenly appeared to remember just who it was that he was speaking to. “General, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to –”
However right now Hux wasn’t concerned about the doctor’s insubordinate manner of addressing him. No, all that he cared about right now was the discouraging fact that his heat was apparently unpreventable and as a result he would have no choice but to endure it.
Hux cursed himself, wishing that he had realised sooner just what was happening to him. If had forced himself to come to medbay back when he was only in the early stages of pre-heat perhaps it could have been prevented from developing into a full-blown one.
But how could he have possibly known that that was what it was? After all, the possibility of his suppressants failing him had never even crossed his mind before. He had never even considered it as something that could actually happen, especially after all these years taking him. And so now both his ignorance and carelessness was costing him dearly.
In truth Hux had gotten so used to masquerading as a beta that there were times when he almost forgot he wasn’t one. It was never something he could ever fully forget of course, but sometimes he could deceive himself into believing that the suppressants he took daily were just another vitamin supplement to ensure his continued good health – or well at least keep him functioning – and that the deodorants and soaps he used were simply to mask body odour and keep himself clean just like anyone else, not to hide his natural omegan scent.
“So what you’re saying is that in the end I’ll have no choice but to endure this…” Hux clenched his fists. “But to endure this indignity?”
Fahey who had worn a worried expression on his face just moments before, appeared relieved that the General hadn’t berated him for his slip of the tongue. The thing that did frustrate Hux and make him want to rebuke the doctor was the tone of gentle assurance and slight condescension he had adopted in response to his question.
“Yes. With how far your heat has progressed, there’s nothing that can be done. But it’s nothing to be ashamed about, General. Going through a heat is perfectly natural for all omegas.”
Hearing Fahey say such a thing was mildly annoying. After all, it was easy enough to claim when you weren’t the one having to go through it. As a beta, the doctor didn’t need to suffer through such a degrading ordeal.
“Your body needs this,” said Fahey. No. What Hux needed was for his body to cease being such a massive inconvenience to him. What he needed was to regain the perfectly crafted control which he had skilfully managed to cultivate over all these years. “I guarantee that you’ll feel much better once you’ve gotten through it.”
Hux snorted. He highly doubted that. Just as what he would experience when he finally succumbed to it, humiliation and disgust with himself were likely to be the only things he would feel in the aftermath.
“In any case, you should find an alpha to spend your heat with as soon as possible,” said Fahey, reverting to his slightly detached and professional tone of voice that Hux was used to, and to be quite frank, honestly much preferred. “I don’t believe you’ll have much trouble finding a willing one, however.”
Hux wasn’t sure if the doctor’s assurance that it would be easy enough for him to find an alpha was an attempt to placate and make him feel better. But if it was, it certainly wasn’t working.
“That won’t be necessary, doctor,” replied Hux, holding up his hand, “I plan on getting through this purely by myself. I’ll let my heat run its course until it’s over with.”
Yes. Hux absolutely refused to let another person witness him in such a debauched and perverse state. He would simply barricade himself inside his quarters and not leave until his heat was over with. No one would realise that he was actually in there of course. He would have some flight logs carefully altered to make it look as if he had left the Finalizer on official Order business, and if anyone tried questioning him about where he was going, he would merely state that Supreme Leader Snoke had sent him on an important mission that was classified and that he would unfortunately be out of contact range for the duration of it. Not that he believed that any of his officers barring perhaps Canady would be bold enough to ask him about it, nor would they likely find his departure too strange given that he was one of the few people in the entirety of the First Order who regularly got to have an audience with the Leader Snoke.
No. There would be nothing unusual about it. Hux just had to pray that no major incidents – the Resistance suddenly showing up and attacking them, stars forbid – occurred while he was miserably preoccupied and that Snoke wouldn’t actually request his presence for anything.
Despite his plan, Hux was aware that the situation was far from ideal. Going through one’s heat alone was overall considered to be a deeply uncomfortable experience and at times could even be rather painful. Nonetheless, Hux would gladly endure any pain and discomfort if it meant preventing anyone from discovering what he truly was.
Or well, no one else that was.
Once his heat was over, Hux would need to have Doctor Fahey disposed of. He couldn’t risk him relaying his secret to anyone or using it to blackmail him in the future.
It was a shame really, but then again, considering Fahey was incapable of doing anything to stop something as basic as a heat from occurring, perhaps it wouldn’t be that great a loss to the Order after all.
“Sir, I would strongly advise against spending your heat alone,” said Fahey, looking horrified by the mere suggestion. Gone again was the stoic professionalism expected of First Order medical personnel, in turn reminding Hux of why he much preferred dealing with med-droids over human doctors. While still able to vocalise their surprise, droids at least were incapable of showing facial expressions to match their artificial shock.
“Doctor, given that you have admitted that you are incapable of doing anything to stop my heat, I would say that exactly just how I intend to spend it is none of your concern,” Hux answered coolly.
The doctor shook his head. “General, you don’t understand. Not spending your heat with an alpha could be incredibly dangerous for you.”
“Nonsense,” Hux replied with a scoff, “Plenty of omegas –” At this stage it was pointless, not to mention pathetic of him to keep trying to avoid saying the word. Whether he said it or not, didn’t make it any less true after all. “Plenty of omegas go through their heats without an alpha present and come out none the worst for it.” That was what he was led to believe anyway. “Granted it will likely be an unpleasant experience, I fail to see how I would be in any danger from choosing to spend it myself.”
“Normally it wouldn’t pose any threat other than being uncomfortable like you said, but this is far from an ordinary heat, sir,” replied Fahey, “After all, your body has entirely rejected your suppressants – something of which while troubling, is a rather amazing feat I must say – forcing you to go through a heat cycle in spite of the fact that you’ve had no preparation for it whatsoever. Furthermore, all of your bio-readings are showing high levels of fluctuation due to the lingering traces of suppressants in your system that your body is attempting to flush out.
Compared to a great number of other species, the heat cycles of human omegas aren’t meant to last very long. A couple of cycles at most, not including the initial pre-heat symptoms. With this much build up and no release, I can only deduce that until you satisfy your innate omegan impulses and are able to give your body what it craves, your heat will not to come to an end and as a result all the symptoms you are currently experiencing will only continue to worsen the more that time passes.”
Hux cringed at the thought of a never-ending heat. It sounded like absolute torture.
“However, there’s only so much the body can take and trying to ignore your heat by not taking an alpha may cause irreparable damage to it, and in the worst case scenario may even lead to death. Therefore it is extremely dangerous and not at all advisable for you to try and spend your heat alone,” said Fahey sounding almost distressed himself
Hux’s eyes widened. Could he really die simply because he hadn’t taken a couple of cycles out of his busy schedule to experience a heat? Such a thing didn’t seem possible. And yet at them same time there was something inside screaming out that yes it really was, and that no, he really couldn’t get through this heat by himself.
“Then I really have no choice but to spend my heat with an…” Hux breath hitched. In a context such as this, going to say the word felt almost distressing for him to say as it was ‘omega’.
“An alpha?” Fahey finished for him. “Yes. But I believe once the alpha you’re with has knotted you, your heat should eventually end and your body will return to normal.”
Hux’s stomach churned. No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening! It had to be some sort horrendous nightmare, one he desperately needed to wake up from. He was a high-ranking member of the First Order. Having to deal with something as debasing as a heat was beneath him. It was humiliating!
“There’s really no other way?” Hux asked, incapable of keeping his voice steady considering that all he wanted to do was scream.
Fahey gave him a pitying look. And if he hadn’t been in such a distraught state of mind, Hux was sure he would have pulled out his monomolecular blade tucked up his sleeve and stabbed the good doctor right where he sat, not caring how it would look to anyone else. After all, he was not a creature to be pitied. He was a great man. Even if it was the very last thing Hux felt like in that precise moment.
“I’m afraid not, sir,” he answered.
“I see.” That was that then. Either he had to find some repugnant alpha to spend his heat with and knot him or risk seriously hurting himself beyond repair and possibly even dying in the process. And yet in spite of the grave consequences that would befall him if he chose to spend his heat alone, a part of Hux still found it the preferable option.
“Regardless of the unique circumstances that have led to this heat, I don’t think the heat itself should be too different from the usual ones you’ve experienced in the past. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if this one felt a little more intense. Nevertheless, to avoid any possible complications that could arise, I suggest that your alpha should remain vigilant and –” The doctor paused for a brief moment, quickly realising his mistake, “Ah. I apologise General. What I mean is you should have the alpha that you’re spending your heat with closely monitor you just to make sure that there’s nothing too out of the ordinary and that you are not experiencing too much pain. As I said, there is the possibility that it may be more intense.”
Despite it having been established already that Hux was unmated and thus didn’t have an alpha, it had appeared to have slipped the doctor’s mind so easily. Hux supposed he couldn’t blame the man too much for it. At thirty-four, most omegas his age, both within the First Order as well as omegas in many other worlds, would already be mated and bonded long ago. To not be bonded with an alpha at his age, at least in the Order, was practically unheard of.
But Hux of course was not like most omegas. After all, how many omegas could boast of holding a high-ranking figure in a powerful military organisation which was on the very brink of finally bringing complete order and stability to the galaxy?
How many omegas had their very own Star Destroyer, let alone the authority to command an entire fleet of them?
No. Hux wasn’t like the rest of those pitiful creatures, slaves to their biology and subservient and dependent on the alphas around them to survive. He was powerful; self-sufficient. Or at least he had been.
Apparently biology was unescapable, no matter how hard you tried to deny it any kind of role in your life.
“I presume that since you’re not bonded, you won’t be wanting to use this heat as opportunity to get pregnant with child?” asked Fahey to which Hux glowered at him in response.
The doctor coughed uncomfortably into his hand. “Yes. Well, I didn’t think so.”
Knowing that he would have to demean himself by going through a heat with some foul alpha was nightmarish enough, but to actually become pregnant by it…well, it just didn’t bare thinking about.
“Will you be requiring any birth control? Or do you have some of your own? Condoms are effective most of the time, but when it comes to knotting sometimes they aren’t always as reliable for –”
“Yes. I’ll be needing some,” Hux interrupted.
“Right then, well, I’ll just be a few moments.”
A minute or so later, Doctor Fahey returned, handing over what appeared to be a packet of birth control pills to him. Frowning, Hux stared down at it. Inside there seemed to be about a month’s worth of supply.
“Is there a problem?” Doctor Fahey asked, “You have taken birth control pills before, yes?”
“…Yes. Yes of course I have,” Hux replied curtly, shoving the packet into one of the many inner pockets hidden inside his greatcoat and out of sight. “I’m just used to another brand is all.” That wasn’t quite true.
“These are all we have onboard I’m afraid. But they’re very fast acting and –”
Hux held up his hand. “These should do fine I’m sure.”
The doctor nodded.
“While experiencing your heat with an alpha should alleviate your symptoms and rebalance your hormones, there may still be some mild complications. If anything feels out of the ordinary with your heat or wrong, please contact medbay as soon as possible.”
Given that every single thing about his impending heat felt wrong, Hux had no clue how he would be able to tell if there really was some sort of problem. And honestly, if there was, perhaps it would be best just to let it happen. It would certainly save himself the indignation of having to be taken to medbay in such an appalling state in which anyone could catch a glimpse of him, no matter how brief.
In all truth he still hadn’t completely made up his mind that he wouldn’t just go ahead and spend his heat alone in spite of everything that had been said to him, as well as his abhorrence for engaging in reckless behaviour in general.
Just as he was finally getting ready to leave – of which couldn’t have come soon enough, the room now feeling absolutely stifling to him – Hux turned to address Doctor Fahey.
“Doctor, I do hope that I can rely on your discretion on this matter; that is of my true designation not matching what’s noted there on my medical records,” he spoke solemnly.
Despite how important it was that Fahey not out him as being an omega, Hux refused to beg the man to keep his shameful secret for him. He also declined to justify himself as to why it was that he neglected to inform the First Order medical staff about being one when he had first presented all those years ago. He did suspect however that Doctor Fahey knew exactly why he hadn’t. But alas understanding and sympathising were two completely different things. After all, many would find Hux concealing what he was to be treasonous, a feeling that Fahey himself might share.
Nevertheless, if he could at least convince Fahey not to expose him right away, that would give Hux the time to figure out how best to dispose of him once he had gotten his dreaded heat over with and things returned to their normal state of being.
“If such a thing were to come out now, well, I don’t believe it would be good for morale especially with the recent loss of Starkiller Base and the Resistance still at large,” Hux continued, “Right now the First Order’s focus should be solely be on –”
“I promise that I won’t tell anyone, General,” Fahey interrupted, “Doctor-patient confidentiality prevents me from disclosing something such as your designation without your express permission.”
Doctor-patient confidentiality didn’t quite work like that in the First Order. If a trooper or officer had an ailment which could prove to be detrimental to them being able to fulfil their duties, then it was marked up and reported. Their situation would immediately be evaluated so alternate arrangements in what to do with them could be made.
Despite Hux being his superior officer, as chief of medical aboard the ship, Fahey was fully within his rights to go above his head and report his findings to High Command if he believed it was necessary. Revealing himself to be an omega and going into an unprompted heat would certainly fall into that category of it being disadvantageous to carrying out his duties after all, not to mention it would likely be distracting for some of the weaker willed alphas around him. Nonetheless, for whatever reason, the doctor was claiming that he had no intention of reporting it. Whether he thought it would be too dangerous to do so because he feared Hux would come after him, Hux wasn’t sure. He did keep a tight rein on communications within the Finalizer as well as outgoing and incoming transmissions after all, so it wouldn’t be too difficult to intercept such a report before it got out.
“I see,” replied Hux monotonously, suspicion overriding any relief he felt about learning that the doctor had no plans to out him.
“As you did not have an appointment scheduled, nothing will show up on any official records about you being here or anything that we’ve discussed,” Fahey went on to say, “I also made sure to wipe clean the memory of the droid who took your bio-readings and blood samples just to be on the safe side.”
Hux’s eyes widened slightly. It seemed that Fahey had been rather thorough in hiding any possible evidence of what he had learned today. The question however was why he was going to such lengths for him?
“May I ask why you’re helping me keep my designation a secret?” queried Hux, deciding just to ask him point-blank. He was exhausted and currently his brain was too frazzled from his impending heat to try to properly decipher the man’s motivations without being overt about it.
“The truth is, omega, or not, I hold you in the highest of respects, General. For example, despite its unfortunate destruction, your design of the Starkiller superweapon was truly ingenious. Furthermore you’ve led the First Order through a great number of victories and it is of my strong opinion that you will continue to do so,” said Fahey, sounding almost reverent as he spoke about Hux, “Therefore it would be extremely unfortunate if something like your designation was to get in the way of both your and the First Order’s continued success. And while I do think that your decision to leave such long periods of time between your heats was very poor judgement on your part, when it comes to leading the Order to greatness, you are indispensable, sir. It doesn’t matter to me if you are an omega or not. However, my feelings on the matter aside, I do realise that many others within the Order won’t take the revelation of you being an omega too kindly, and while I fear that something like that is bound to come out into the open eventually, I won’t be the one to reveal it.”
Hux couldn’t help but be taken aback. Aside from the ones who were older than him, particularly from the old Imperial days, Hux was well aware that many officers and stormtroopers alike looked up to and admired him greatly, both those who worked directly under him and throughout the rest of the Order. Given that he was the very face of the Order when it came to spreading their message both within and throughout the galaxy at large, it only made sense that certain people who develop a feeling of kinship or reverence towards him. However, for some reason it hadn’t even crossed his mind that Doctor Fahey might fall into that category let alone respect him enough that his true designation didn’t at all seem to be an issue for him. The doctor was definitely right in the need to be cautious. And fortunately not naïve enough to think that many of Hux’s fellow officers wouldn’t take advantage of him being an omega.
“I see,” said Hux, repeating himself. It was an inadequate response, he knew. Fahey certainly deserved more than that. “Well, I thank you for your dedication to the First Order,” Hux continued, leaving the ‘and me’ unsaid. “It is certainly admirable and I am appreciative that you are aware of the fact that there are far larger things at stake at this time and have chosen not to disclose any information that might get in way of the Order achieving its goals. I commend you for your impeccable judgement, doctor.”
Hux finished with a salute, Fahey quickly following suit and offering the General one in return.
“Thank you, sir. I am honoured to serve the Order in any way I can. And I hope that you will soon be able to return to your duties once your…well once your current ‘ailment’ has finally been taken care of.”
“Yes. Thank you. I will attend to it as soon as possible.”
Had it been another time, Hux was sure that learning of Doctor Fahey’s dedication to the First Order, and more importantly his loyalty to him in spite of being an omega, would have filled him with a strong sense of triumph. But given what he was about to have to endure, it was sadly difficult to focus on anything positive.
With a final nod toward the good doctor, Hux exited medbay and headed straight to his office. Despite the pressing time constraints he was under and still feeling horribly wretched, he at least wanted to try get some work done as he attempted to deduce his next course of action.
It turned out to be all for nought however as over an hour passed by and Hux hadn’t managed to get a single piece of work done, the numerous reports before him remaining mostly untouched and unread. With his mind woefully occupied by the intensely unpleasant and possibly lethal predicament he currently found himself in, he was incapable of concentrating on anything else. As someone who had always been able to lose themselves in their work and had often used it to escape the unpleasant reality surrounding him courtesy of Brendol growing up, it only served to remind him of the severity of his situation and just how much it was coming to affect him. Not only physically, but mentally as well.
While presently he still couldn’t quite appreciate Doctor Fahey’s words as much as he would have liked to, they did serve to remind him of how indispensable he was to the Order in spite of what many within it may think. If spending his heat alone really could cause irreparable damage to himself and in turn could impede his ability to lead, or worst, result in his untimely death, then it just wasn’t an acceptable option. The First Order needed him. And he owed it not only to himself but to those who looked up to and respected him, to carry on as long as he could and see that the First Oder triumphed.
Yes. As much as he absolutely despised the idea, he had no choice. The Order needed him and as such he would endure the indignity that was required of him. No other person would know of it of course, apart from Doctor Fahey and the…well, whoever the alpha was that he managed to convince to share his head with.
Hux felt sweat running down his face, a common occurrence, particularly over the past few days. It was unpleasant and as he searched agitatedly for a handkerchief from one of the pockets of his greatcoat of which rested over the back of his chair, he accidentally pulled out the birth control pills that Fahey had prescribed him, the packet dropping unceremoniously onto the floor.
Frowning, Hux bent down and picked them up. With a solemn sigh he reached over for the jug of water that sat near the edge of his desk and poured himself a small glass. The water would likely be stale by that point. Not that it really mattered.
After freeing one from its packaging, Hux swallowed the pill.
He supposed that was at least one thing taken care of. Going through with his heat was bad enough, but to become pregnant in the process, well, it was absolutely unthinkable. And yet at the same time completely possible for him even if it felt both completely unreal and unnatural.
Overall, while reassured that it wasn’t something he would have to deal with, the even larger and more pressing issue at hand was the fact that he still needed to find an alpha to agree to share his heat with him. When it came to locating one, it wasn’t as if there was any shortage of them here on the ship. And whether they were actually attracted to him or not, many would still jump at the opportunity to sleep with the great General Hux. Hux wondered if that was perhaps what Fahey had been meaning when he insinuated that Hux should have no trouble finding a willing alpha.
No, the real problem was that Hux happened to be the highest-ranking member of the Order onboard. There may have been a great deal of alphas around, but alphas, or not, it didn’t change the fact that Hux was their superior officer and they his subordinates. Superior officers sleeping with their subordinates was generally frowned upon, although Hux was of course under no illusion that such a thing didn’t happen. In the truth, the thought of sleeping with an alpha that he was superior to in rank to was a somewhat thrilling prospect, particularly as he knew many of the alpha officers resented him for his rank as General despite being a mere beta. If they knew the actual truth; then rage and humiliation would surely consume many of them.
Sadly, while it may have been fun to rub it in their faces, sleeping with a subordinate didn’t exactly sit right with Hux. Additionally, the alpha he slept with could quite easily hold Hux being an omega over him and use it to blackmail him for promotion or stars knows what else. It wasn’t something that he could risk.
The only way he could feasibly sleep with someone within the Order was to seek out someone who was of the same rank of him. However, as was the case of refusing to sleep with one of his subordinates, Hux too refused to sleep with any of his superior officers. He didn’t need yet another reason for them to look down upon him and revealing himself as an omega could result in him being passed over for promotion in the future. That or something far worse.
In any case, locating one of his fellow generals wouldn’t be a simple task. He would have to contact them directly and subsequently alter the Finalizer’s course in order to rendezvous with them and board whatever ship they were on or vice versa. Depending on their location, it would likely take time to get there; time that Hux just couldn’t afford to lose. Another issue was that if he didn’t come up with an acceptable reason to justify the unexpected visit before revealing his true reason for being there, he would only draw suspicion to himself. And based on his current state, he believed that it would be difficult not to. After all, in the short distance from the medbay to his office, the number of officers who had stopped to salute him, only to look upon him with surprise on their faces – no doubt taken aback by his dishevelled appearance – was far greater than he would have liked. Although admittedly, right now it was difficult to tell if he was simply being paranoid or not.
A further problem was that although they may be the same rank as Hux, he knew many of them resented and were envious of his having direct access to Snoke as well as being in command of one of the fleets flagships. If given the chance, they wouldn’t hesitate to bring him down and take over his position. Whether Snoke would allow such a thing was another matter but it still didn’t change the fact that disclosing himself to be an omega would be akin to handing over the key to his own demise over to his fellow Generals on a silver platter.
Alas, politics notwithstanding, the thought of sleeping with the majority of them filled Hux with a sense of revulsion. In any case, most of the alpha Generals were mated and bonded already. Not that Hux was exactly convinced that it would stop them from sleeping with him if given the chance. Infidelity aside, Hux was well aware that many of them treated their mates rather poorly and lacked any proper respect for them from the dismissive way they spoke of their omegas. It was something that Hux had unfortunately been forced to listen to back when he was rising within the ranks of the Order and had no choice but to socialise with his fellow officers and superiors in order to make connections for himself and stand out. Sadly the very thing that would have distinguished himself from all his rivals, what with male omegas being something of a rarity, was the part of himself that he had to keep completely hidden.
While Hux hadn’t exactly been surprised by the way the officers treated their omegas, it had made him uncomfortable. And even more so when he witnessed alphas scolding and criticising their omegas at social events such as the balls and banquets the First Order would occasionally throw to celebrate their victories. The worst thing of all however was having to interact with them face-to-face. Every time he did, Hux desperately feared that despite the suppressants he took each day as well as the soaps and deodorants he used to conceal his natural scent, that being omegas themselves, they would instinctively be able to tell that he was one of them; that he was a fraud masquerading as beta. As such Hux had always tried his hardest to ignore them, offering them little more than a polite hello whenever they were introduced to him before quickly diverting his attention elsewhere.
Thankfully, there was nothing unusual about his dismissive attitude towards them. The only reason the omegas were even there at whatever mundane social event taking place was to look pretty on their alpha’s arm and be superficially admired from afar. They weren’t there to be conversed with. At least not on any meaningful level.
One advantage of many about others believing him to be a beta was that it wasn’t expected that he would have the same level of interest in omegas as the alphas around him did; betas not possessing the intense sex-drive of alphas propelled by inconvenient biological imperatives to fuck whichever omega was in the vicinity.
It was something which Hux believed people should consider to be more of an advantage given that it meant one wouldn’t be needlessly distracted from more important things by the recurrent and rather base need to breed.
When it came to intimacy between omegas and betas, although there weren’t exactly any rules against them having relationships with omegas, to many people it was considered to be a waste. This was particularly the case for male omegas which while already being rarer than their female counterparts, could only fall pregnant after being knotted by an alpha. And while there was no formal reparations for a beta and omega being together, it wasn’t exactly encouraged either.
Deciding that reaching out to one of his fellow generals would not only be too time-consuming but incredibly risky for his career to boot, Hux struggled to weigh up his other choices of which were unfortunately for him steadily dwindling.
One option was to seek an alpha out within the First Order, preferably one located on some remote world. Hux believed that depending on his place of choice, it wouldn’t be too unusual for one to come across an omega on the cusp of their heat seeking out an alpha to spend it with, particularly if suppressants there happened to be difficult to come by or were either too expensive for most to afford. Lack of access to suppressants was something of an issue for many worlds whether they were considered developed or prosperous on the outside. All planets had underbelly after all, no matter how much they tried cover it up. One just needed to look.
A part of Hux found it to be somewhat of a pity that the Order cared so little for omegas as he was sure that targeting omegas from such worlds with the promise of providing access to suppressants would boost the Order’s recruitment quotas quite a bit. But given his own discomfort around other omegas, it was never something he considered actually bringing up and Hux didn’t dare do anything to cast any suspicion on what he was either.
Whatever planet he chose, Hux would have to go in disguise as he certainly couldn’t let anyone know who he truly was. A remote world that wasn’t completely desolate but widely ignored by the rest of the galaxy would be best as there would be much less of a chance of him being recognised. He supposed not being able to blend in as easily was one of the drawbacks of being the face of the First Order. Although given that he spent most of his time aboard the Finalizer and rarely planet side and never alone at that, it hadn’t really been an issue for him before now.
Of course, choosing to go to some backwater planet in search of someone to spend his heat with came with its own set of risks and not just regarding his own personal reputation. No, the main issue was that he would have to go there alone, unaccompanied without any stormtroopers. If something were to go wrong and he got caught up in a scuffle, he would be entirely on his own with no backup. And while with a blaster in his hand and monomolecular blade hidden up his sleeve he would normally be confident enough in his ability to defend himself, given that he would be on the very cusp of his heat he knew that he would be far weaker than usual. If someone tried to attack him, especially if that person happened to be an alpha, he would be utterly vulnerable to them.
There was also the chance that even if he did find alpha who wanted to sleep with him, there was no assurance that they would be amicable about it. They could pretend to be friendly at first and flirt with him only for their demeanour and attitude towards him to change completely the moment they were behind closed doors.
Unfortunately the chance of encountering some cruel and sadistic alpha on a lawless desolate world who would have no qualms about harming or even killing an omega like him was startlingly high.
Hux closed his eyes as a number of unpleasant scenarios came rushing into his mind’s eye.
No. He couldn’t bear to think about such things. He didn’t want and neither could he allow himself to become so defenceless; to be unable to protect himself.
Shuddering, Hux had to resist the urge to wrap his arms around himself like some sad frightened little child.
Now that he thought about it, hadn’t he done just that after he had presented for the first time?
Brendol certainly hadn’t offered him any comfort when he had come across him on the cusp of his very first heat. The exact opposite in fact. Thus Hux had been left having to seek out whatever semblance of comfort he could muster up from within himself. It hadn’t helped of course and in all likelihood only served to make him feel even worse when he realised that comfort was something that he even required in the first place. He may have just discovered that he was an omega, but he was still a cadet in the First Order. The desire or need to be soothed by another was far beneath him.
Reminding himself, that someone could walk into his office at any moment, Hux forced himself to take a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. Unfortunately, considering that breathing was already becoming more of challenge for him the closer he neared the end of his pre-heat and towards the real thing, it took him a minute or so to actually settle down. Despite that, he still felt like he could scream. But instead Hux placed his hands over his face, groaning loudly into them. It wasn’t particularly dignified, but considering what he was about to face, any sherd of dignity he had left by now was about to be thrown completely out of the airlock.
He couldn’t go down to some backwater planet he knew next to nothing about. It was too dangerous. Regardless of his impending heat and the loathing that came with it, he was still far too valuable an asset to the First Order for them to lose him. He couldn’t chance putting himself in such a perilous situation, not unless he was accompanied by a squadron of stormtroopers, something which of course was out of the question.
Hux still refused however to sleep with any of his subordinates and he couldn’t trust his fellow generals not to betray him with their discovery of him being an omega. Even the ones that he was on more friendly terms with could not be at all trusted.
That left him with one final choice; one he had deliberately put off thinking about despite knowing that it would be the option he would most likely have to follow through with in the end. It was also in many ways the most ludicrous choice and a part of him questioned his sanity for even considering it in the first place, fearing that his oncoming heat had successfully robbed him of all of his senses.
Hux sighed, leaning heavily back into his chair. There was one alpha on the ship who while not possessing a formal rank in the First Order military structure, technically shared the same standing as Hux in one regard; that being that they both held the position of commander of the Finalizer.
Said alpha was of course none other than Supreme Leader Snoke’s apprentice, Kylo Ren; an insufferable man who was forever rubbing Hux the wrong way. But right now Ren was his only real option, not to mention the only alpha available to him who was neither his subordinate nor superior who could knot him and get Hux through his heat.
With further sigh and a heavy heart, Hux got to his feet to and exited his office to seek out his co-commander.
In a bizarre twist of fate, Hux’s life would be entirely in Kylo Ren’s hands.