Chapter Text
1.
Giyuu supposes everything started when he thought things were coming to an end.
He heard more than he saw.
Banging, yelling and various other noises thumping about the house.
They had a bunch of people who had stayed over to help with the preparations for his sister’s wedding that was to be held the following day. He remembers seeing his sister in her beautiful wedding kimono and her smile when she turned to show him and feeling so happy for her. They’d gotten caught up with being so excited about the event that they kept going over the details till it had gotten late into the night. Luckily, the large house had enough spare rooms for their guests to stay in.
Giyuu remembers the first time he came to live there with his sister, her fiance being nothing but hospitable to the two of them, Giyuu even getting his own room, right next to Tsutako’s. Giyuu wasn’t sure what to make of him when they first met, just that he seemed to have a mild temperament and that he didn’t try to pressure them into accepting expensive gifts --unless it had been a special occasion then that’s when he did get stubborn.
But what apparently got Tsutako taken with him, was that he was the first who hadn’t minded that Tsutako didn’t want to leave Giyuu behind, unlike her many other suitors after learning that she had a younger brother. He was nothing but kind --perhaps too kind-- but he supposes that his sister didn’t deserve anything less after all the trouble she went through for him after their parents passed away. He’s glad, thankful, that she’d found happiness in him.
It had been a very busy day and Giyuu being only twelve then had to go to bed earlier than the adults. It was still dark when he was awoken much later by his sister so it probably wasn't time to get up yet. He blinked blearily at her, trying to make out her words while he was still threading the line of wake and sleep, the room’s lighting was dim but he could see her expression clearly. Her face was deathly pale for someone about to be happily married as she urged Giyuu to hide in the closet. The dead of the night suddenly accentuated by screams that pierced his ears, Giyuu could only numbly follow her instructions. Questions at the tip of his tongue.
She pats his head in that same affectionate way she always does before caressing his cheeks with her calloused palms, rough from overwork as she shushes his concerns.
“We’re going to play hide and seek now. The one we used to play a lot when you were younger. You still remember how to play it, yeah?”
When Giyuu manages a small nod, she gives him an odd smile, something close to sadness and relief. “Good, you were always so good at it, you know? I could never find you.” She huffs something close to a quiet giggle, her eyes looking distant at the memory but Giyuu only feels alarm and confusion. “Nee-san will be hiding too, so don’t come out no matter what alright?”
His words get stuck in his throat but she makes him promise to wait, at least until she either comes for him or once the noise dies down, so he nods. She quickly looks behind her as if checking if someone was there and he grips onto her sleeves.
“D-don’t go, Nee-san…” He manages to choke out.
The watery smile when she turns back to look at him hurts, and he’s not sure why.
“It’ll be okay, ‘Yuu.” She assures, kissing him lightly on the forehead, “Even if Nee-san gets caught you have to stay put and win, okay?” and then she’s closing the door before Giyuu could get another word out, before he could tug her back, make her stay.
He hears her footsteps leaving the room, leaving him alone.
And then it’s just noise, noise, noise. He doesn’t know how long it lasts.
He thinks he even hears her fiance’s voice among the screams. He wonders if he should be grateful that he never heard Tsutako’s.
Giyuu could do nothing more but just sit there and bear it. To simply wait and pray for the noise to stop.
He covers his ears and shuts his eyes tight but the sounds never failed to leak through.
He hears a cold, mocking cackle that leaves a trail of goosebumps down his arms and makes the hair on his neck stand. Giyuu hugs into himself tighter, trying to make himself smaller in hopes that perhaps it will help him blend into the shadows along the walls.
He hears nails scratching along a wooden surface, before turning into a soft tap tap tap kind of sound as it drew even closer. Then it was followed by some doors creaking and it only takes a second for Giyuu to realize what it was doing. That thing, was checking through the rooms one by one.
It was looking for him.
Tap, tap, tap, nails grating at his ears before he hears a door creaking open again. Then followed by the same tap tap tap sound once more. Giyuu doesn’t know how much longer he can stand this.
The tapping stops.
Giyuu holds his breath on instinct and wills himself to still but no matter what his body wouldn’t stop shaking. The closet felt so much smaller now like the walls were closing in, it was hard to breathe. Where was Tsutako?
Just as he thought that the door to his room is unceremoniously slid open. And he feels a cold dread settle in when whoever it was chose to say nothing.
Was that Tsutako or…
No.
A foul stench, something similar to rotting fish invades his senses as soon as it gets closer.
Giyuu tries to fight off the urge to cry.
He was going to die.
And perhaps it was all the waiting for the inevitable that he finally lets out a soft whimper when the sounds get too close, and in this silence would be hard to miss.
Giyuu could only pray for a quick death when the closet doors are tugged open in the next second.
But it wasn’t the one he was in.
For once he was thankful that Tsutako’s fiance was rather wealthy and the closet was styled to have multiple side cabinets where Giyuu was currently situated in one rather than the main closet itself.
He hears it click its tongue as its nails raked over the wooden surface in annoyance. Giyuu doesn’t dare breathe. He holds it until he was sure whatever that thing was had left, but other than the sound of shuffling across the floorboards, it was hard to tell if it had actually left the room. So he waits and waits and waits once again.
He doesn’t know how long he’s waited, his legs and back aches from having hunched over with his knees to his chest for so long but paranoia keeps him from making another sound till he’s absolutely sure. Eventually he sees light through the cracks.
Was it daybreak?
He waits for another minute or two before taking a deep breath and slowly pushing the cabinet door open to take a peek.
He was instead greeted by a lone figure standing hidden in the shadows, just slightly illuminated by the bulb it had on its head. The sky outside only just shy of dawn.
Giyuu was unable to make a sound as he sees it move forward and out of the shadows, making its appearance more distinct.
He remembers seeing rows and rows of sharp teeth around a gaping maw that could easily swallow him whole and wide, glassy eyes that stared unblinkingly at him.
It doesn’t say anything, but it does grin as if it had been expecting this all along.
Giyuu couldn’t even make a sound as the creature slithered closer and closer, even reaching out one of its long sharp nails at him, certain he wouldn’t be able to escape. Giyuu could only regret that he broke his promise and closes his eyes, waits for the inevitable. He was just a powerless kid after all, what chance did he stand against this monster?
Then he hears it.
He hears his sister scream.
Giyuu opens his eyes briefly only to see red.
Then, everything blurs just as his vision blurs with his tears. He can’t remember much of what happened after that. Maybe he fainted at some point, but when he next came to he was clinging tightly to a familiar red haori that he had wrapped around him, dawn had come and his sister’s killer nowhere in sight.
No one believed him.
After he retold what he saw to the adults, everyone just kept giving him pitying looks, murmurs of ‘poor kid’ or ‘how unlucky’ ringing about. But what was worse than that was how they didn’t listen to him simply because he was a child. Some had thought it to be the work of a wild animal while a few, though didn’t say it aloud, seemed to suspect that he did it if their nasty looks where anything to go by. It didn’t help how the more he insisted his claims, the more they disregarded him, and the more they disregarded him the more emotional he got. They told him he was traumatized and probably imagined it since it was dark. Then they started talking about sending him away to a distant relative who worked as a doctor, saying something about him being mentally ill. They wouldn’t even let him stay long enough for Tsutako’s funeral.
Giyuu snuck out the day before his departure, ran off into the woods with only his sister’s haori and didn’t look back.
Of course it didn't take long for him to get lost, an hour or so after that he started to feel exhaustion, his stomach growled constantly but he ignored it. He remembers escaping just around dawn but now it seemed like the sun was setting. He collapses a couple more hours after that, chest heaving as his body leaned on a large tree. He stares at the sky and thought about how unfair it all was.
He wakes up to dark skies and scattered stars and resumes walking. To where exactly, he wasn’t sure but he just wanted to get away, he couldn’t let them find him -if they were looking for him anyway. A couple of steps and wrong turns later, Giyuu stops by a large fallen tree. He’s passed by that same tree three times now, his feet felt sore -no doubt he had blisters from all that trekking- as he crouched down to take a break. It seemed pointless trying to find his way when he could barely see in the dark but it wasn’t safe to fall asleep out in the open during the night so he needed to find some form of shelter still. He almost falls down a steep cliff at some point during his search, letting out a loud yell as he falls back down on his butt, his reflexes being the only thing that saved him from the drop.
While waiting for his hammering heartbeat to calm down, he hears a twig snap not too far behind him and the faint glow of light. Had he been found already? He clenches his fists, forcing himself to stand and assess where they were coming from, maybe he could still get away…
Instead, he’s met with that same glassy eyes that haunted him, the smell of rotten fish, and of course the ever lingering scent of blood.
There, chewing on a disembodied arm while it slowly approached, was the same monster that killed his sister.
It seemed to drool at the sight of him and Giyuu wastes no time bolting from that area. He’s vaguely surprised at himself for that, half-expecting himself to just stay there and let the thing kill him so he can be with Tsutako. Because what was the point of living without her? But his body had moved before he can react.
He was at a disadvantage, however, exhaustion and running in the dark only made it much harder for him who had no source of light to guide where he was going, he knows it’s only about time before he’s caught. Just as he thinks that, he trips on a root and falls face first onto the ground.
He stays down this time, holds onto his sister’s haori tightly and thinks to himself that hopefully Tsutako wouldn’t be mad at him if he died here. He tried didn’t he? He did his best.
Lost in his despair, he barely hears the clang of steel followed by a loud screech before everything fell silent save for the crickets chirping in succession.
The next thing he knew, he was surrounded by warmth. There was a palm smoothing along the small of his back when he realizes that he had been crying. He had been sobbing so hard that whoever was hugging him’s shoulder was soaked with his tears and he could just barely hear what they were saying over the ringing of his ears and the sharp scent of blood.
“It’s okay, you’re okay now. You did good staying alive.”
He feels like the voice was trying to reassure him but only succeeds in making him cry more. He had done nothing after all, he just ran like a coward and even that he couldn’t do right. However, not once does the voice scold him for it nor do they stop rubbing his back. They stay like that for awhile until Giyuu eventually couldn’t cry anymore, rubbing his eyes red and sniffling as he finally raised his head.
The first thing he notices is her kind eyes and equally kind smile. He thinks she’s probably not much older than him and yet she looks like she’s been through so much as she offers him a dainty hand, slightly rough with callouses. She’s not Tsutako, but a lot of their qualities seemed the same.
“What’s your name?”
That was his first meeting with Kochou Kanae.
2.
When people heard of Kochou Kanae taking in yet another stray, people didn't pay it any mind at first seeing as this was already known to be a common occurrence in that household that its become a reputation of hers.
Some were curious of course, on what this newcomer looked like, no doubt another pretty girl to join their ranks, and dropped by the estate giving one excuse after another in hopes of getting a peek. But somehow, they neither saw hide nor hair of said new girl much to their disappointment.
Then the rumors began that perhaps this girl had been so beautiful that they had gotten stricter and more protective, increasing their security and whatnot when everything was more or less still the same. Some even had apparently backed that claim to which Kanae could only shake her head when Shinobu later informs her about them over a cup of tea as she went over some paperwork over her last mission.
“They really oughta mind their own business!” Shinobu huffs which garners her a small smile from her sister.
“I suppose so, but with the recent lack of demon activity lately, it can’t be helped that people want something to talk about. Anything the least bit ordinary would become suddenly appealing to the bored mind.” She explains rationally as she paused in her writing.
Shinobu purses her lips seeming to not like the response but does not disagree with her.
“Then they should stop wasting time on gossip and train harder. Why bother becoming a Demon Slayer otherwise??” Came the harsh verdict as she scoffs, the wrinkles in her eyebrows furrowing more. It was almost hard to believe that her sister was only nine years old if Kanae hadn’t been the one to practically raise her after their parents died.
They fall into silence but Kanae knows. She knows that Shinobu has something on her mind with how she stays in one place and bites her lip. Kanae gives her time, and writes some extra notes regarding the mission she completed just a couple of days ago, about the demons she encountered causing a stir in a small town.
A false alarm seeing as they were dealt with rather quickly, their level not even close to that hand-demon she defeated during her final selection that it seemed there was no need to send in a Kinoe after all. Kanae didn’t mind though, since it was their duty to protect in the first place, and the faster they were defeated the less victims there were.
After awhile, Shinobu grumbles under her breath before finally speaking up,
“That kid…”
Kanae stops what she’s doing to look up at where her sister stood, as expected her brows are furrowed in that adorable way when she gets too thoughtful about something.
“You’ll have to be specific on who you’re talking about,” Kanae quips with a slightly teasing lilt that has Shinobu groan and narrowing her eyes even more.
“Nee-san, you know exactly who I mean.”
Kanae giggles quietly behind a delicate hand before giving her an apologetic smile.
“Alright, did something happen?” She’d only been gone for a few days for the last mission, and it's barely even a week since Giyuu had been taken into the Butterfly Estate.
“He hasn’t spoken anything at all the past few days. He won’t eat either.” Shinobu sounded more annoyed by that last part and immediately Kanae’s face softens in understanding.
“Oh, so you’re worried about him…”
“N-no!! I just--,” Shinobu stumbles over her words for a moment, her cheeks tinting a faint shade of pink. “he’s wasting the food the others worked hard to prepare! He won’t even acknowledge our presence most of the time! And-”
“He’s just...adjusting.” Kanae interrupts but does decide to check on him later. It would be no good if he collapsed due to hunger. Perhaps giving him space wasn’t the right call after all…
Kanae, despite being already a Kinoe, was only sixteen. And as Shinobu likes to put, has a bleeding heart and often got herself involved in delicate matters, but it’s not her fault that she couldn’t just leave him alone! He had told her he had nowhere else to go, how his only family was killed and then stubbornly refused to go back to the nearest town.
That coupled with the fact that that demon had been her assignment and had she been just a little bit faster, hadn’t taken a night’s rest in the previous village before that one, then perhaps she could’ve made it in time to save his family...
Kanae tries not to dwell on that too much.
Still, she knows it’s no excuse if she messes this up badly, even more so now that she’s responsible for his well-being. Nevermind how the girls she’s taken in seemed to have adjusted fairly well, she knows well enough to treat such matters with care and not just lump them all as one and the same. “Give him some more time. I’m sure this is all a lot to take in for him right now. He’s probably overwhelmed.” and still grieving , she adds inwardly as that went unsaid.
“I will visit him later however,” Kanae added when Shinobu still didn’t look appeased. “perhaps he’ll have more of an appetite then.”
With that said the creases on Shinobu’s brows ease and she gives a tight nod. How serious her little sister is, Kanae thinks fondly.
“I am a bit surprised that you seem alright with having a boy living with us now.” She had expected that to be the main problem after housing only girls all this time.
Shinobu crosses her arms, looking defensive almost immediately.
“It’s not a big deal. So as long as he doesn’t harass the other girls or become such a headache, I don’t really see why it should be a problem.” She states bluntly and Kanae feels her chest swell with pride at her sister’s words.
“That’s a relief then,” She says. “I’m glad he has someone as reliable as you to depend on from now on.”
Shinobu’s face turns bright red.
“Nee-san!!” She exclaims, looking very much offended. “Isn’t that guy older than me?? How shameless can he be that he’d have to be coddled by someone younger than him!”
Kanae leafs through the files she has on hand before stopping on a page.
“You should know that he’s only three years older than you.” She casually informs her before placing the papers down and taking a sip of her tea. “Also his name’s Tomioka Giyuu.”
Kanae lets her thoughts run back to the said boy. He was a bit small for his age, pale skin with dark hair and deep blue eyes that reminded her much of a still lake. Other than learning his name, she didn’t know much else as he had gone unresponsive after her first few questions and had only gotten the rest of what she knows after asking around the town where she assumed he came from. She learned of the tragedy of a young man and his fiance and how a young boy of only twelve was the only survivor that had now gone missing.
Well, not so missing now, but Kanae keeps that bit to herself, muttering a short prayer for the unfortunate family.
Shinobu seems to be rendered speechless by her nonchalant response or simply didn’t know what to say as her hands twitched in the air seeming to want to grab hold of something before she simply settled with yelling, “I didn’t ask!” while stomping away, Kanae’s soft laughter following after her.
3.
Giyuu learns more by word of mouth than being told directly that he would now be staying in a place known as the Butterfly Estate. He doesn’t understand much of what’s happening around him just that Kanae, for some reason, decided to take him in as one of her own.
Whatever that meant. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice now when even his own relatives wanted to send him away. Regardless, he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. He missed his parents. He missed Tsutako.
He grips onto the red haori he now wears as his last memento of her, recalling how he hugged her deathly still body close, his fingers colored scarlet and wet, just the brief memory of it makes him feel so empty.
He has nothing now. Just the crushing guilt that eats away at him whenever he’s conscious. He doesn’t cry about it though. He doesn’t deserve to, not when he didn’t do anything to protect her. How he could only stand there and watch as she sacrificed herself for his stupid mistake.
He just feels...numb.
As if ice has encased his heart.
Why couldn’t it have been him?
It comes as no surprise that the rest of his time is spent with him trying to keep to himself, not wanting to bother anyone anymore than he has and keeps his head down, unable to look anyone in the eye. He didn’t want to see their expressions, be it pity or resentment.
If he could find it in himself to care a little more, he would also feel bad about not eating, but he just couldn’t stomach the food, it settled heavily in his belly, uncomfortable, as if it didn’t belong there, as if it was being wasted on him. Whenever he tried to shovel food into his mouth, he’d be puking it out minutes later and rather than make a huge mess he rather just not eat at all. What was the point of being alive when everything he’d known and loved was gone?
Why was he even here? What was the point of saving him?
Everything just felt so overwhelming for him that it was much easier to drift off. He had been drifting off when a knock came at the door of his room. Well, he supposed it was his room now.
“Giyuu? Are you awake? If you are, may I come in?”
That voice, it was her .
Kanae.
She was a strange girl and Giyuu wasn’t quite sure what to think of her. He only briefly remembers how they first met, that she was the one who rescued him and now under her care, but even then the memories feel scattered and distorted. She was often busy too so he didn’t get to see her much.
He tries to respond but finds that his throat was too dry after forgetting to drink anything the whole day, and looking out the window, the sun had already begun to set. How long had he been sitting there spacing out?
“...yes…” He croaks out weakly. It’s not like he could say no to her, can he?
There was a pause before the door slid open.
He immediately shifts his gaze down, he hears the door slide shut before footsteps padded towards the bed where he sat but not before he hears a clink on the small table beside it. The scent of food invades his senses, but rather than make him hungry, it makes him feel nauseous instead. Stealing a quick glance, he sees that it’s a plate of onigiri and a cup of...something. He quickly casts his gaze back down before Kanae spots him looking. The space beside him dips and he feels warmth emanating from that side.
“How are you feeling?”
He doesn’t know how to respond to that so he keeps silent.
“Shinobu has told me you haven’t been eating.”
Ah, so it was about that. He expected her to sound disappointed, angry even, but she just sounded...curious, oddly enough. He clears his throat before opening his mouth to respond,
“...sorry…” He mutters quietly, fidgeting with his sleeves. His voice sounded a bit rough from disuse. Or it could be because he wasn't drinking enough water either. Probably both. “...not really hungry…” Which wasn’t a lie, yet he still feels bad for causing trouble.
No matter what he did, he could only cause trouble.
He hears a sigh.
“Still, you should eat even if a little.” She scolded gently. It was always gently with her. She moves to get up and Giyuu thinks it's the end of that when the bed dips again and he’s suddenly looking down on the cup he saw earlier.
“It’s chamomile tea.” She says simply.
Giyuu blinks before slowly accepting it. It’s still warm around his hands as he takes a small, tentative sip, hoping that it would solve the issues with his throat and appease the girl.
“Good?” He hears her suddenly say, a smile in her voice and Giyuu just nods and takes another sip just to busy himself with something.
“...thank you…” He remembers to say, because Tsutako always told him to mind his manners. ‘You have to be a gentleman, Giyuu! I won’t be able to face mom and dad if I let you grow up to be a barbarian!’ he could still hear her saying.
“...and sorry…” because he’s once again reminded of the trouble he’s causing. It was easier to speak now at least.
Kanae sounds surprised though, “Whatever for?”
“For troubling you…” Giyuu stares at the rim of his cup, the liquid inside it making small ripples. He hadn’t noticed his hands were slightly shaking and willed himself to calm down.
Kanae doesn’t respond verbally but gives a thoughtful hum and the room falls silent once more. It wasn’t exactly stifling or uncomfortable, but Giyuu closed his eyes and took another sip of his drink to keep his mind off it anyway.
“How about I give you a tour of the estate tomorrow? Only if you’re feeling up to it anyway,” Is what he doesn’t expect her to say next.
It’s a little jarring since Giyuu pretty much implied how he didn’t want to trouble her and it seems to him that she’s elected to ignore it or missed his point entirely. Now at a loss as to where this conversation was going, he wonders if this was Kanae’s reason for coming all along or just a random topic she’s come up with on the fly to fill in the awkward silence. “It’s a little delayed but better late than never, right? I know you haven’t seen much of the place yet.”
Giyuu wordlessly agrees despite himself. Because it’s not like he can refuse his...savior? Caretaker? Guardian? He wasn't exactly sure what she was to him now, but the fact remained that he was living under her home and he shouldn’t be disrespectful even if she was giving him a choice to say no. So he just nods his head quietly but that seemed to have been enough as the bed creaked slightly when Kanae moved to stand and Giyuu thinking that that was the end of their conversation, made a move to look up, perhaps to see her out. But she just stands there, to his surprise, before she looks at him, a soft smile on her face.
“Good!” She sounds elated for whatever reason, clapping her hands together as she spoke. Giyuu doesn’t understand why his agreeing to the tour could make her be so pleased with herself, and when their eyes met he self-consciously shifted his gaze back down to the wooden floorboards. “be sure to get some rest!” Is all she says before she excuses herself for the night and is out the door, leaving Giyuu more than just a little puzzled by the interaction.
He couldn’t over-analyze her words since she’d been pretty direct to the point no matter how much he tried to turn the words over and over his head as if trying to decipher some hidden code he might’ve missed during the exchange and finding none. Giyuu sighs and decides it was perhaps easier to just go with the flow for now as he watched a few stars come into view from his window.
He doesn’t eat the onigiri but he does finish the tea. His stomach feeling a bit more settled as he tried to get some sleep.
He hopes the nightmares leave him be even just for tonight.
The following day Kanae is there to greet him. They forego breakfast and immediately head off once Giyuu finished fixing his appearance to pass as decent enough. His hair was still a mess and he wouldn’t leave his sister’s haori behind, using it as some sort of safety blanket over his head and he didn’t care if it made him look ridiculous. Kanae, for one, made no comments about it and simply lead the way, humming lightly as Giyuu trailed after her.
Giyuu learns that the Butterfly Estate was a place known for healing, amongst other various things, but more importantly -that Kanae was apparently a Demon Slayer. If the name itself wasn’t a dead give away to what their job entailed, Kanae sums it up for him regardless in three words.
“We kill demons,” She says in an uncharacteristically melancholic tone.
“Well, that’s putting it simply anyway. But that’s the general idea of the job.” She says but seeming like she wanted to say something else. They pass by a couple of empty rooms as she then began to explain what demons were, how they came to be, the tragedies they caused and that yes, a demon was what attacked his home. Giyuu listened in apt silence as he felt his heart grew colder the more she told him about them.
Their conversation topics digressed as they walked into various rooms and bumped along other people who all greeted Kanae with respect. Giyuu had them grouped into two types, those who had butterfly pins adorning their hair -who he knows firsthand is in charge of looking after the patients- and those who had black masks that made it difficult to tell who was who.
Kanae called those people the Kakushi and how they were a big help in their line of work. Praising their various good deeds and the odd jobs they did as they were the ones who couldn’t fight in the front lines. Mostly either because they’d been too injured to or had failed the final selection, which was something people had to pass first if they wanted to be a Demon Slayer.
There wasn’t actually much for her to explain about the estate, it was like a very large clinic with many beds filling in the space of the various rooms. They were currently in the Medical Ward, Kanae says as he spots someone with one of those butterfly pins tending to the patients. He doesn’t recognize them but Kanae takes the time to tell him that in this line of work, it should be no surprise that their people get injured, and it wasn’t uncommon for many to die which was why she took an interest in medicine in the first place.
“I found that keeping yourself busy and the like helps. It’s easier when you’re able to keep your mind off things,” Giyuu’s pretty sure she’s no longer talking about her line of work. He’s noticed how she tends to ramble about things randomly, leaving him to piece together the puzzles her words form.
Giyuu figures that she was probably suggesting a way for him to cope with his loss and he’s not entirely sure how to feel about that. It wasn’t exactly annoyance, she’s meddled with his life more than enough that it seemed to be pointless to get angry over this. So he just takes her words in stride, not saying much else, his eyes trained on the two who has yet to notice their presence. He wonders if he could be like that, learn about medicine since he can’t fight like Kanae. At least this way he can contribute something, make himself useful. Did Kanae think he could do it? Would he be allowed to learn?
They don’t linger there for very long, Kanae not wanting to disturb the resting patients. Soon they came across what seemed to be a dojo that was already being in use. Kanae was only able to tell him how it was used for Rehabilitation Training when she is greeted again with much respect before the curious eyes turn on him, the attention making him duck his head down so they couldn’t see his face. Thankfully, Kanae tells the rest to carry on with their training and excuses themselves once she noticed Giyuu's discomfort.
They happen upon a couple more rooms afterwards, he finds out where the kitchen was and other places a normal house would have, how there was a backyard wide enough for kids to run around and a forest behind the estate before he was then being led back to his room.
Giyuu wonders if his disappointment showed on his expression when Kanae assures him that she’d talk to him again since she had other duties to attend to for the afternoon.
“You’re probably tired from all that walking, yeah? Get some rest.” She smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I know it's a lot to take in."
Her kindness felt genuine but only further made Giyuu feel more inadequate with himself. Being around such a well-respected and impressive individual, using up her time like some spoiled young master.
It felt wrong.
“...sorry…” he begins, fidgeting with his sister’s haori’s sleeves once more. And just as he opens his mouth to tell her that there was no need for her to do that, Kanae beats him to the punch.
“There are other things to say, right?”
When Giyuu looks confused, she smiles patiently and explains.
“Rather than ending things on a sad note, wouldn’t saying ‘thank you’ be better?”
“Oh.”
Giyuu never thought of it like that before.
“...then...thank you…”
He hopes his voice could express the gratitude he felt at that moment, but he feels that it came rather flat.
Kanae seems to accept it, not saying anything else save for a quick farewell before leaving him for the day.
Looking back into his room from the doorway, he sees that his lunch was already there on the small table waiting for him. It was onigiri again with a side of vegetables and some soup.
Maybe it was all the walking they did but he manages to eat a bit more that afternoon
4.
About three days after that Kanae came to see him again.
This time they settled in one place, taking a seat side by side on the house’s engawa over another cup of tea during lunch. It was lavender this time.
She talks about various things again, from where she left off with the final selection, explaining how they got their nichirin blades once they passed and eventually they fall onto the topic of medicine where Kanae happily tells him how, if he wanted, he can work with the other butterfly girls in looking after the corps member’s training. Or if he was interested in being a medic himself then he could learn alongside her younger sister, Shinobu, who was currently undergoing such lessons. When he seemed unsure, Kanae suggested that he could just observe for now and if it’s not something he sees himself doing then he can always fall back on the former option.
Shinobu, he learns, was that short girl who always looked grumpy whenever he saw her. She was one of the few girls that were tasked into looking after him when he first arrived here. He hadn’t paid much attention to their names then and he was a bit surprised to learn that someone so much younger than him was already learning about complicated methods for healing injuries and the like.
He also learns that Shinobu doesn’t like him very much. Or at all actually. If her glare whenever he’s nearby was anything to go by.
It’s understandable though, he’d caused all sorts of trouble for Kanae, so he doesn’t hold it against her. He doesn't bother apologizing this time either, figuring Shinobu would probably just get angrier with him if he did. So he focuses on doing his best to learn from her, doesn’t mind the little huffs and eyerolls, their lessons ranging from basic first aid to the different illnesses and what to do in response to them. And for all Shinobu’s seething disapproval of him, she was a fairly decent teacher as she meticulously broached each subject and was overall thorough leaving Giyuu with nothing to question her about.
However, even when Giyuu says nothing throughout those lessons, she seemed to get angrier the more time they spent together. But what could he do when there wasn't much for him to say? They weren’t exactly friends. Shinobu made it very clear in her demeanor alone how she disliked him after all. Still, Giyuu did find himself more interested the more he learned, and how it did help keep his mind busy.
One day after a particular talk on dealing with poison-related ailments, Shinobu raises her brow expectantly at him and Giyuu, not knowing what she wanted, opts to simply stare back.
“Well?”
He blinks for a moment when that one word doesn’t help elaborate anything. What was it with these sisters expecting him to easily read in between the lines? But while Kanae had this habit of getting off track or talking vaguely, Shinobu tended to be direct to the point.
They continue to stare at each other, Shinobu growing more and more impatient as she began to tap her foot when it occurs to Giyuu.
“Oh,” He says, bowing his head lightly. “Thank you.” Because it had to be that, right?
Shinobu makes a face that looked like he just spat into her tea, however, so it was likely that he was wrong. She doesn’t correct him over whatever it was about, just clicks her tongue before stomping away.
Giyuu takes another few moments to reflect if he had missed anything but came no closer to a conclusion. He decides to leave it at that and just ask her directly the next time they met.
It was a couple of days after that odd instance when Kanae gets a sudden visitor. She was supposed to meet up with him for tea later but he supposed she would be busy entertaining their new guest for that. While Giyuu didn’t mind it, he was a little curious on who it could be, having only mostly interacted with Kanae and Shinobu for the past couple of weeks and their visitors mostly being wounded Slayers.
Thinking it was probably okay if he took a quick peek, he went over to the nearest window that gave a good view of the estate’s main entrance, but was slightly secluded enough that he wouldn’t be spotted immediately unless someone really checked.
He sees Kanae approaching a very tall and muscular man who had a scar along his forehead and what seemed like prayer beads around his neck and hands. He didn’t seem wounded and though he couldn’t hear what they were saying from this distance, the conversation looked fairly casual and nothing like an emergency.
His shoulders slowly sagged in relief, having not even realized they’d been tense in the first place. At least until the man suddenly began crying but before he could start panicking a voice speaks up from beside him.
“That’s Himejima-san. He always does that.” Shinobu says as she looked over the two conversing outside with what Giyuu deems her neutral expression. Giyuu would’ve yelled in surprise if he hadn’t been too shocked to do so.
“That?”
“Crying.”
“Oh.”
Her eyes, that somehow reminded him of an insect’s, finally shifted towards him, a slight tilt in her lips that if Giyuu didn’t know any better, would assume was something of an amused smile as she regarded him.
“I don’t like you.” Is what she says after a while.
Giyuu doesn’t even blink, “I know.”
She gives a soft appraising hum but leaving no clue to what she was possibly thinking. Maybe she was surprised that Giyuu was a little more self-aware than she had realized. To be fair, Giyuu did tend to be bad at understanding social cues, often needing his sister to explain this and that to him and probably why he didn’t make a lot of friends in the first place. He didn’t mind it much, thinking he much rather stick by Tsutako’s side since she understood him with relative ease.
He turns his attention back to Kanae and Himejima, thinking Shinobu wouldn’t say anymore.
“Hm, I guess there are some brain cells in there.”
She huffs shortly when Giyuu doesn’t bother responding. The two were still talking but it seemed like Kanae was gesturing for the man to head inside where Himejima just shakes his head, declining the offer.
“You’re not even gonna ask why?”
Giyuu then finally turns his attention back to Shinobu, who was once again, frowning at him.
“Why?”
Her frown grows worse, eyebrow twitching and Giyuu is left confused because isn’t that what she wanted? For him to ask why?
“Because Kanae Nee-san’s a Kinoe and she has more important matters to attend to other than babysit you!” She finally blurts out but all it does is add more questions.
“What’s a Kinoe?”
Shinobu stares at him as if dumbfounded and stays like that for awhile that Giyuu starts to wonder if he said something wrong again when she grits her teeth, a vein along her forehead pulsing.
“I can’t believe she hasn’t even told you! No, of course she wouldn’t…it’s just like her not to...” She mutters angrily to herself now.
After a moment, Shinobu turns her angry gaze back at him before jabbing a finger at his chest, looking a lot more intimidating despite being shorter than him at that moment.
“Alright, listen well since I’m only explaining this once,” Which Giyuu finds unnecessary for her to say seeing as all her explanations only ever had to be said once with how good she was at teaching but doesn’t bother saying out loud.
There he learns about the different ranks there were in the corps, and the strongest of them all, the highest rank one can achieve were called the Pillars. And the second highest were the Kinoe, which was what Kanae was. He also learns a bit about Himejima, how he was the one who’d rescued them and was one of those said Pillars.
“She’d be a Pillar soon, or supposed to be but she keeps getting side tracked.” Shinobu says as she eyes him.
So she was blaming him for her sister not being able to rise in the ranks? Though Giyuu thinks being the next highest was already an impressive feat considering how young Kanae is.
“I’m grateful to her...” Giyuu says simply because he was.
Shinobu’s brows furrow again but she looks more like she was at a loss of words rather than angry this time. She seems to assess him for a few more moments before finally scoffing and turning her head away from him.
“Good. You better be.”
It sounded more like a threat but Giyuu thinks, for that moment, he finally got a bit of an understanding of what was going through Shinobu’s head this entire time. She probably thought he was taking advantage of Kanae’s kindness or something along those lines.
They had their lessons after that and things continued on as normal, Shinobu teaching him with a bite in her tone but he’d noticed there were less eyerolls and scoffing, as if she had mellowed out somehow. Like something had been calmed within her, even if by a slight margin. Giyuu found it odd and points it out one day only to get yelled at, Shinobu promptly walks out on him, all red in the face.
Feeling bad that he messed up again, he tried to think of some way to make it up to her but coming to a blank since he realized he actually knew nothing about her. They only ever studied together after all, with Shinobu not being eager staying too long in the same space as him the whole while, much more converse with him casually. Which was fine, Giyuu was bad at talking so he never minded it.
Well, until now anyway.
Tea was something Kanae favored, with Shinobu as her sister, would it be possible that she’d have gained a liking for it too or was that stretching it? Just because they were siblings didn’t mean they’d have similar interests. But then again, they were both medics and seemed to like butterflies so...
He was brought out of his musings when he suddenly heard a scream.
After weeks of peace, he didn’t expect the sound to have him shaken so much as it did, memories of not too long ago flashed in his mind but this time he makes his body move. This time he rushes out to the source of the noise because this time he was going to help.
In his rush to the source of the noise, he trips and falls on his face when he gets there, but he pushes himself up to assess the danger and only belatedly realizes that it may have been smarter to call for someone who could fight instead because now that he was here, what could he do??
He spots Shinobu, her face is pale and she’s frozen still and in front of her...
Was a dog.
The rest of what followed wasn’t even remotely noteworthy in hindsight.
Apparently, a stray dog had gotten through the fence while Shinobu had been doing the laundry and cornered her -which was the reason for her scream. The dog was about medium in size and didn’t seem all that aggressive but she seemed scared stiff enough for Giyuu not to think twice about running over to her and standing in-between them.
“It’s-It’s okay Kochou,” He says, breathing a little haggard from running all the way there.
The dog eyes him carefully but made no motion to move towards them which was good. Carefully, Giyuu takes hold of Shinobu’s clammy hand and tries to maneuver themselves to get around the dog without getting closer to it. He knows she’s spooked enough to bother making any comments about it, in fact she hasn’t spoken anything at all and just followed him wordlessly, her fingers digging into his palm.
They manage a few more steps away from the dog, who thankfully doesn’t follow after, when Shinobu finally lets out the breath she’d been holding. Giyuu gives her a moment to recollect herself, and when she looks up, her expression seemed one of confusion, she stared at him as if she were analyzing some medicinal components. Giyuu was about to ask her if she was okay when the dog -out of nowhere- had suddenly pounced and bit him in the butt making him yelp in both surprise and pain before falling over again.
The dog immediately makes a run for it as soon as Giyuu turns to look at it with a betrayed expression. But worse of all, was the sound of giggling and when he looks up, he sees Shinobu trying to hold back her laughter and failing quite badly, bursting into a fit of uncontrolled giggles after seeing his face.
And Giyuu was at a loss since just now she’d been frightened beyond belief and now she was laughing rather inelegantly at him, holding her stomach as if she had never found anything funnier --which Giyuu finds rude since the only reason he got bitten was because he tried to help her.
Frowning, he pushes himself up and dusts his clothes off the dirt. He winces a little when his hand brushes his butt.
“Your nose is bleeding,”
“What,” Giyuu looks up to see Shinobu finally calming down and he brings up a hand to rub at his nose and blinks back when his hands come back with blood. “Oh. I fell earlier.”
His normally deadpan delivery usually got Shinobu irritated but for once she just seemed...exasperated.
Rolling her eyes, she began to walk back into the estate, “C’mon.” She says, glancing behind her when Giyuu made no motion to follow.
Her lips quirked into an odd smile, one Giyuu would have thought that suited her if it weren’t for the words that followed.
“We have to make sure that you didn’t get any rabies, you klutz.”
After tending to his injuries, Shinobu shooed him away, much like one would a dog, much to Giyuu’s displeasure, and the two didn’t meet again until the following day. They didn’t have any lessons planned then and Shinobu had sought him out in his room after lunch.
He’s taken aback when she wordlessly takes his hands and pushes something onto it, a deep frown on her face as she eyes him expectantly.
And upon opening his hand he finds a butterfly pin, much like what the girls who lived in the estate wore. The outer linings of the fore and hind wings are colored red, dotted with speckles of white while the inner parts of the wings were a light blue.
Giyuu blinks at it.
“It’s for you, if you haven’t realized yet.” Shinobu grumbles when the silence had gotten too long.
Giyuu then blinks at her, and maybe she got better at reading his expressions because she explains again, albeit reluctantly, something he notes when she makes an exaggerated sigh.
“For helping me the other day. With the dog.” She says a tone much softer.
“No. Thank you.” He says, which seems to have caught her off guard when he pushes the item back towards her.
“No? What do you mean, no ?” She’s angry again, brows furrowed and glaring up at him. For a moment, she looked like she was ready to tear his head off. It unnerves him a little so he quickly explains.
“I didn’t help you so that you would owe me. So, I can’t accept this.”
At that, her anger seems to slowly dissipate, looking more lost as she stares at him like he’d said the dumbest thing ever before she rubs her hands at her face and lets out a loud groan of what was probably exasperation, puzzling Giyuu even more.
“Wha--”
“Just take it.”
“But I can’t--”
“It’s a sign of my gratitude, you airhead.” She grits out. “At least let me be able to show it, unlike a certain someone I know.”
Giyuu blinks again.
He looks down at the butterfly pin innocently sitting on his palm then back towards Shinobu and closes his fingers around it. He feels strangely warm.
“Okay.”
5.
Roughly over a month or so in living at the Butterfly Estate, Giyuu had more or less had gotten used to his surroundings. Which he thinks that he should find odd. But the girls were all nice, gave him the space he needed and he’d fallen into a good routine.
Still, it’s apparently not enough when he finds himself still losing his appetite and being unresponsive whenever he remembers Tsutako and the events of that night. How the nightmares still came back each and every time no matter how much he tried to move on.
It’s Kanae who comes to visit him again just after dinner that night, a candle in hand when she slides Giyuu’s door open and finds him staring out at the window.
“Giyuu? I called you but you didn’t reply.” She says as she places the candle down by the small table and Giyuu could barely hear her over the fog and cotton in his ears.
He doesn’t think he’s gotten any proper sleep lately, just a few minutes, an hour or two if he was lucky, before it feels like he’s suffocating and he’s forced awake, body covered in cold sweat and the lingering sound of screams and the sharp scent of blood. He thinks it’s fortunate that his stomach was empty enough that he doesn’t retch immediately after waking. But his head feels heavy and he could barely pay attention to his surroundings that even Shinobu’s mocking comments about his appearance barely even register.
“...sorry…” He murmurs, feeling ashamed, because he thought he’d been doing good but now it’s like he’s back where he’s started just a few days after the incident. Regretting everything, and still so very useless. Like nothing has changed. He hasn't changed.
Kanae puts a soothing hand on his back, rubbing small circles gently as she shushes him.
“Don’t be...it’s not your fault.”
Giyuu just shakes his head, “I...don’t understand why I’m like this…”
It’s only now that he’s started talking that he notices that he sounds as tired as he felt.
Kanae just gives another of her thoughtful hums, seeming to mull her words over.
“Well,” She began when Giyuu started to drift off. “Hearing a stranger’s nagging might just be an annoyance so I won’t tell you to hurry and cheer up.” He finds the wording odd but perhaps that was just because of his sleep deprived state.
“You’re not a stranger…” He mumbles quietly.
“Really?” There was a smile in her voice. He really did like her smiles. Shinobu’s too, rare as they were.
“Yeah. You’re Kanae-san.”
This garners him a soft giggle and he feels her lean her weight on his side. It feels nice. He’s surprised by how much he doesn’t mind the contact, finds himself leaning towards the warmth unconsciously.
“In any case, it’s normal, for you to miss them, I mean.” She spoke haltingly and Giyuu does his best to pay attention.
“I...I’m not sure if it gets easier honestly, so I can’t promise you anything like that.” Her gaze was downcast, Giyuu notes that same melancholic tone in her voice again as her smile turns sad. “...some nights it does hurt a little less and other times it’s like the wound is still fresh. That’s just how it is when we lose the ones we love.”
“But,” She shifts so that she’s now looking right at him and Giyuu does his best to meet her eyes this time. “But we have to pull ourselves together,” She says, her eyes resolute.
“We have to dry our tears and keep moving forward. Because I’m sure that’s what the people we’ve lost would’ve wanted for us. For you.”
She laughs quietly but humorlessly, “It sounds so simple when I put it like that, right?”
The hand on his back has stopped moving and was placed on his shoulder. A comforting weight. It’s grounding.
“Don’t forget them, Giyuu, but don’t turn away from living because of it.”
Kanae continues to smile, her eyes nothing but soft and kind and understanding. All soft edges and yet she stood so tall and strong.
“We honor their memories by living.”
Giyuu remembers his sister’s last words to him.
She wanted him to live.
And finally, Giyuu lets himself cry.
It took awhile before he sobered up, and he felt slightly embarrassed that Kanae had been there to hug him throughout it all much like how when they first met. He felt a bit better though and he couldn’t be more indebted to her for it. When he awkwardly tries to thank her, she just told him that she was just happy to help.
“If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask me, okay?” She says just before she’s about to leave. And Giyuu thinks, that was perhaps what gives him the push to speak up before he could stop himself.
“…actually I...do have a favor to ask. If...if it’s not too much trouble.” he feels bashful and guilty before he even finishes the sentence.
But Kanae, who he is beginning to think is actually an angel, just smiles.
“Try me.”
The following day, Giyuu emerges from his room to join them all for breakfast. His messy hair held together into a low ponytail by a butterfly pin that has Shinobu trying hard to hide a pleased grin.
After that, it didn’t take long for rumors about the pretty new butterfly girl wearing a red nagagi to start circulating amongst the other Demon Slayer corps members.