Chapter Text
"Magnus, you have to do something about this…"
Magnus looked up from his cup of coffee with a raised eyebrow. "Huh?" he asked his two best friends, Catarina and Ragnor, who were sitting directly opposite him at the local coffee shop where the three of them had decided to meet, in celebration of a rare Friday afternoon off work for them all.
After he spoke, Magnus shook his head in frustration. His question had sounded nowhere near as articulate as he would have liked. Lately, he hadn't quite been as graceful or as well-spoken as usual. Although he hated to admit it, Magnus was fairly certain that his recent lack of eloquence could be traced back to the moment that a certain tall, dark and handsome man had walked into his life only a couple of months ago...
In fact, last weekend, Magnus remembered that he had been standing outside on his balcony, completely lost in his own thoughts even though he'd invited Catarina and Ragnor over for drinks, and incapable of keeping the conversation flowing along with the wine. "What are you thinking about?" Catarina had asked him with a touch of concern in her voice. And Magnus, caught off guard, had replied, "Alec Lightwood," without even thinking about it, which meant that he'd had to endure an evening of knowing smirks and gentle mockery from his two best friends.
Right now, Catarina was rolling her eyes at him; it was almost as though she believed that Magnus knew exactly what she was talking about and was just using avoidance tactics. Which, Magnus reasoned, was probably true.
"You have to do something about your…crush," Catarina replied, apparently deciding to spell it out directly for him.
Magnus was about to say something in protest, but in the end, he decided it would be pointless-Catarina and Ragnor knew him better than anyone, and there would be no use denying his feelings for Alec to them.
In the end, he settled on sighing dramatically as he placed his coffee cup back down on the table. "I know, I know," he said, with a flourish of his hand, for added effect.
Although Magnus had sworn off love for the foreseeable future after a particularly bad breakup only a year ago, since he'd met Alec, he'd really started to question this vow he'd made to close off his heart.
In fact, he found himself thinking about Alec all the time. Alec, who was so kind, so caring, so selfless. Not to mention handsome. It seemed that Magnus's heart was rather fond of him.
Perhaps Catarina was right. Maybe he should take action. Magnus had seen the way that men checked Alec out whenever he was at parties or at clubs with the Lightwoods. He had noticed the way that Alec looked handsome men up and down in return whenever he thought that nobody was looking. If Magnus didn't do…something soon, then it would only be a matter of time before another man asked Alec out instead, and Magnus would lose his chance.
Besides, Magnus had recently found out that his ex, Camille was back in town. Only yesterday, she'd sent him a message, asking if Magnus wanted to meet her for drinks tonight. She'd only made the suggestion look like a casual one, but Magnus knew what would happen if he agreed to meet with her; Camille seemed to find her way back into his life whenever Magnus was feeling particularly lonely, and it would only be a matter of time before he ended up back in her arms, the two of them agreeing to 'give things another go' and returning to their not-so-healthy-sort-of-relationship before they inevitably broke up all over again.
"How about doing something about this today?" Ragnor suggested, looking completely serious as his words snapped Magnus back into the present moment.
Magnus couldn't help feeling a prickle of nerves at the suggestion. It was one thing to talk hypothetically about asking Alec out (Magnus had even imagined the scenario several times in his secret thoughts), but it was another thing entirely to actually make real plans to do it. Plans that would involve Magnus being vulnerable in front of someone he barely knew; plans that would have to be carried out in the near future.
Unfortunately, Catarina seemed to agree with Ragnor. "Alec only works a couple of blocks away from here, right?" she asked Magnus, ignoring Magnus's expression of wide-eyed horror.
"Oh no," Magnus muttered into his coffee cup, before he threw a warning glance in Catarina's direction.
The thought of showing up at Alec's work-the Lightwood family's law company-and asking Alec out filled him with dread.
This feeling of fear at the thought of asking a handsome man out on a date was completely new to Magnus. After all, when it came to flirting and dating, Magnus considered himself to be something of an expert. He'd never struggled before to approach men and women at bars and ask them out on dates. He wasn't shy, not when it came to kissing and hooking up, and he was fairly confident in his conviction that by now, he knew his way around the bedroom. He'd even had several serious relationships over the past few years.
And yet, whenever he was around Alec, Magnus felt like an awkward, nervous teenager with a crush. What was it about Alexander Lightwood that made him feel that way?
"I-I can't," Magnus told his two friends, his head bowed, hating how vulnerable he sounded.
Catarina, however, didn't seem to be taking his nerves seriously. "It's not like it's your first time doing this," she told him with a shrug.
"True," Magnus replied, making a big show of stirring his coffee slowly with a spoon so he could avoid looking Catarina and Ragnor in the eye.
He supposed that Catarina had a point. She would know better than anyone about Magnus's dating history, after all the stories that Magnus had told her over the past few years whenever they both drank a few too many glasses of wine. "But still," he shrugged, feeling that prickle of nerves all over again, "it's not so easy, this time..."
Catarina and Ragnor shared a look, and Magnus guessed that they had finally picked up on his fear about doing this.
"What if he's not interested?" Magnus asked them as he ran a hand nervously over his ear, deciding that he might as well just go all out in voicing his fears now.
Anyway, he felt like this concern was a genuine one. Sure, Alec seemed to be into guys, and he acted a little nervous around Magnus sometimes, blushing whenever Magnus gave him a compliment, but Magnus had no actual proof that Alec was into him.
"You're Magnus Bane!" said Catarina with a grin, like this explained everything.
Ragnor nodded in agreement. "Do what you do best," he said, by way of advice.
"Make the first move!" added Catarina.
Magnus might have made the first move many times before, but this was different; he wasn't sure how it was different, exactly, or whether he could even explain it to his friends, but it was.
After a little more gentle persuasion from his friends, and a lot of advice as to how he could go about this, it was Ragnor who leaned in with one of his typically philosophical comments: "Magnus," he said, his expression solemn, serious, "when love comes into your life, you must do everything in your power to fight for it…"
Magnus fought off a blush at Ragnor's use of the word 'love', but finally, with a dramatic sigh, he found himself agreeing to at least try to ask Alec out on a date.
How hard can this be? he asked himself, even as his heart rate started to pick up and he felt his hands begin to shake. He had done this so many times, after all, and, if he went to Alec's work and asked him out right now, he could get it out the way, without having to deal with the typical audience and crowd they would have around them if Magnus waited until the next time he saw Alec at a bar to do this.
No, this way was so much easier, more private, more relaxed, more intimate.
What could possibly go wrong?
After he'd headed out of the coffee shop, promising his friends that he would text them later to let them know how everything went, Magnus headed in the direction of the law firm where Alec worked, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was pounding against his chest.
As he walked, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, Magnus thought about all the moments he'd shared with Alec since they'd first been introduced only weeks ago…
He thought about the first night they'd met, at a nightclub in the city called Pandemonium. Magnus had already known Alec's siblings, Izzy and Jace, for a little while through the New York party scene, but up until that night, he hadn't yet met Alec Lightwood.
And then Alec had walked right through the club's main doors, complaining loudly to Izzy about having to be there in the first place, and still somehow looking like the most handsome man that Magnus had ever met, in spite of his frown, dressed all in black in clothes that perfectly complemented his body, and Magnus had fallen in lust at first sight.
At first, he'd felt a little intimidated by Alec, as Izzy's older brother had seemed a little cold, never talking much, keeping his distance from the group, and constantly frowning and making sarcastic comments, but then Magnus had gotten to know him a little better and he'd worked out that Alec wasn't unkind at all; he was just a little shy.
He remembered how he'd had a particularly disastrous day only a few weekends ago, when his kitchen had flooded just before Catarina and Ragnor were due to come over for dinner, and Izzy had sent Alec over to help after Magnus had complained loudly to her over the phone for several minutes.
Magnus hadn't even been sure how Alec could help, but it had turned out that Alec was something of a handyman when it came to repairs, because he'd arrived at Magnus's loft, rolled up his sleeves and headed into the kitchen as though he did that kind of thing all the time, and the flooding had stopped in a matter of minutes. All the while, Magnus had tried to ignore several not-so-innocent fantasies that had appeared in his mind as he watched Alec work.
And then Alec had stayed by Magnus's side for the rest of the evening, helping Magnus to clean up, and helping Magnus to get dinner ready, not talking very much but offering the occasional smile and reassuring pat on the shoulder, and Magnus had seen a whole other side of Alec Lightwood.
After that, Alec had started to hang out at Magnus's Brooklyn loft quite often, helping Magnus out with random tasks or sometimes just sharing conversations with Magnus about his day, or even telling the occasional story about some aspect of his life. Magnus had the feeling that Alec didn't open up to people very often, and he was rather flattered that Alec seemed to like spending time with him and sharing conversations.
Magnus could clearly remember a Saturday afternoon only a couple of weeks ago, when he'd been having a particularly bad day. It was the anniversary of his mother's death, and he'd been so caught up in his memories, even crying a little during the day, that he'd barely been thinking straight when he'd heard a knock on the door and gone to answer it, assuming it would be one of his best friends. To his utter mortification, Alec had been standing on the other side of the door, looking adorable dressed in a green sweater, with a confused frown that quickly changed to an expression of concern as he took in the look on Magnus's face.
Somehow, Magnus had ended up spending the afternoon sobbing in Alec's arms, with Alec holding him close, muttering words of reassurance and telling him that everything was going to be okay.
As upsetting and embarrassing as the afternoon had been, Magnus had also been very aware of just how…nice it felt to be held by Alec; he'd felt like he could get used to it.
Alec had even been apologetic about being the only person around to comfort Magnus-he'd whispered something about how he was sure that Magnus would have preferred to have his close friends there, and how he wasn't very good at this, and how he hoped he'd been able to offer some comfort all the same.
Magnus had smiled at him and thanked him, but he hadn't been brave enough to tell Alec that there was no one else he'd rather have been with that afternoon. In that moment, Magnus had realised that this feelings for Alec ran much deeper than lust.
All too soon, Magnus arrived at the Lightwoods' law firm. He paused for a moment, taking everything in. The building was tall, imposing, and the family emblem on the glass doors that led into the building suggested that the Lightwoods meant business.
Magnus took a few deep breaths. It took several more minutes before he summoned the courage to walk through the doors.
The interior of the building was all wooden floors, hi-tech computers and mahogany desks, but Magnus also noted that the inside of the building was warmer, less intimidating than the outside.
As Magnus walked through the lobby, several of Alec's colleagues greeted him with polite smiles. They didn't look surprised to see him there. Magnus worked for a major fashion company in Brooklyn, and his company had worked with the Lightwoods' before, hiring them to help with various contracts and the legal documents required for events in the city. Magnus guessed that everyone simply thought he was here on his company's behalf this afternoon; here for business, rather than pleasure.
Several large mirrors lined the left-hand wall of the lobby. Magnus paused to take in his reflection.
Today, he had dressed in dark jeans with a little glitter, and a black shirt with the top buttons deliberately left unfastened. There were several dark blue highlights in his hair, and although he hadn't put much jewellery on today, there were a few rings on his fingers. He'd also applied his usual eyeliner before he met Catarina and Ragnor at the coffee shop. He sighed to himself as he turned away from the mirror. It wasn't that he looked bad, but he knew that he would have added a touch more glitter and extravagance if he'd had more time to prepare for what he was about to do.
After stopping to take a couple more deep breaths, Magnus continued to walk further into the building.
He noticed that Isabelle Lightwood was sitting behind the main desk in the lobby.
In spite of his nerves, Magnus couldn't help feeling happy to see her. He considered Izzy to be one of his closest friends, and he was glad that she was here today-a friendly face in a sea of strangers.
"Magnus!" she greeted him with a smile the moment she caught sight of him.
"Isabelle," Magnus greeted her with a smile of his own. He could only hope that his voice wasn't shaking as he spoke.
"Are you here to see Alec?" Izzy asked him with another grin, although there was definitely something playful in her expression now. Magnus had a sneaking suspicion that she had worked out exactly why he was here this afternoon.
"Yes," Magnus replied, trying to sound as dignified as possible as he fought off a blush at the mention of Alec's name.
It was only now that he was here that Magnus was starting to question whether this really was such a good idea-after all, showing up at someone's workplace in the middle of the afternoon to ask them out for drinks wasn't exactly the height of professionalism. And Alec was shy, and he took his job very seriously, and Magnus didn't know him very well, and he had no idea if Alec felt the same way, and Alec's parents were so overprotective, and Magnus wasn't sure if they liked him very much…
"Well, you know the way…"
The sound of Isabelle's voice snapped Magnus out of his troubled thoughts. She was pointing in the direction of the elevator with a raised eyebrow.
Magnus simply nodded. It was too late to back out now. He had a feeling that Izzy wouldn't let him, even if he tried.
As the elevator glided smoothly upwards towards the floor where Alec's office was located, Magnus tried to compose himself.
He fixed his hair while looking in the elevator mirror, and then he adjusted his shirt and a couple of his rings while he silently ran through a few of the lines he could use to ask Alec out. Magnus's pick-up lines had generally been successful in the past, but now he wasn't so sure if they would work.
As Magnus got out of the elevator and walked down the hallway towards Alec's office, his legs felt heavier than usual. Every step seemed to require twice the effort. He was also pretty sure that his hands were still shaking.
Finally, he arrived at his destination.
Alec had left the door to his office open. Magnus paused in the doorway to peer inside.
The large windows behind Alec's desk offered a stunning view of the city skyline, but Magnus could only focus on the handsome man standing behind the desk.
Alec was leaning over, apparently reading a few legal documents that were piled up on the desk. He was still oblivious to Magnus's presence in the doorway.
Alec was dressed simply in black trousers and a white shirt, with several of the top buttons unfastened. It took all of Magnus's strength not to fix his gaze entirely on the bare skin that had been exposed by the open shirt buttons. It was rare to see Alec dressed so casually like this.
Alec's suit jacket and tie seemed to have been discarded on the back of his desk chair at some point during the afternoon.
Magnus's heart continued to beat rapidly against his chest, and his throat felt a little dry, and he felt too hot and too cold at the same time. As he took in the view in front of him, he couldn't help thinking about all the things that he wished Alec Lightwood would do to him on that desk; he was fairly certain that he could even find a few creative uses for Alec's discarded tie…
Magnus blinked rapidly a couple times and shook his head, trying to fight off those more X-rated thoughts. He was here on very serious business, and he had to stay focused.
As he delicately cleared his throat, Magnus attempted to strike his best pose, leaning seductively against the doorframe.
"Alexander," he said, in what he hoped was a sexy and sophisticated tone of voice.
Alec looked a little startled for a moment, but then he looked up from his paperwork and stared right at Magnus, his expression intense.
Magnus took a step into the room, focusing on swaying his hips as he moved. Just one step, then another, he silently told himself. This was actually happening; he could do this…
And that was when he tripped over his own feet and fell right to the floor.
Before he could even think about what had just happened, he heard Alec calling his name, a concerned tone in his voice.
Magnus made an attempt to get back up, but Alec had moved across the room in a flash. "You okay?" he asked, a worried-looking frown on his face as he knelt down next to Magnus.
"I-I'm fine, Alexander," said Magnus, doing his best to sound cool and calm and composed as he tried to fight off a feeling of utter mortification. He could only imagine how ridiculous he'd looked to Alec as he'd fallen into his office. How had the fall even happened? He'd never been that clumsy before. Usually, his movements were smooth and graceful. There hadn't even been anything in his way to trip over! What a mess of an entrance.
"That was graceful," Alec muttered with a half-grin, as though he could read Magnus's thoughts. He looked a little amused now.
"I know, I know," Magnus attempted to joke in return as he tried using one of his typically dramatic flourishes of his hands to emphasise his point. He was sure however, that he had gone bright red with embarrassment.
Magnus couldn't help thinking about all the times that he and Catarina had read extracts from Fifty Shades of Grey out loud to one another after a few too many bottles of wine, the two of them laughing mockingly the whole time...and now Magnus had unintentionally gone and recreated one of the scenes from the book! This realisation only made the moment seem even more embarrassing. Catarina would find it hilarious, if she ever found out.
But then Alec's arms were around him, as he was apparently checking Magnus for any sign of injury, and Magnus couldn't think about anything else but the handsome man in front of him. He was rendered temporarily speechless at his close proximity to Alec Lightwood.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Alec asked him, the tone of concern back in his voice.
It was only then that Magnus realised that he hadn't made any effort to move or speak over the past several seconds, as he had instead been staring right at Alec and discreetly leaning into his touch.
Magnus felt like an even bigger idiot. Quickly, he nodded, before he felt himself blushing all over again. All of the X-rated things he had done over the past decade, and it was this moment, right here on the floor with Alec, fully-clothed, that had left him a blushing mess. Magnus could hardly believe it.
"Here, let me help you," said Alec as he reached out a hand to help Magnus up before he led him towards the nearest chair and told him to sit down.
Magnus sighed-as nice as it felt to be held almost protectively by Alec as he helped him across the room, he couldn't help thinking about how this was definitely not how he had imagined this moment would play out.
Whenever he imagined asking Alec out on a date, Magnus was always charming, eloquent, graceful. He worked the room and then walked smoothly up to Alec before he confidently asked him out for drinks, and Alec would always smile and say yes. It seemed that imagination and reality were two very different things.
It also seemed that as usual, Alec was thriving in this let-me-come-to-the-rescue role, because he went and got a glass of water for Magnus, before he knelt down in front of him again, gently brushing away a little dust that seemed to have attached to Magnus's shirt when he hit the floor, looking a lot more confident than usual; yet Alec's willingness to take care of him wasn't offering much comfort to Magnus right now, not after he'd just made a total fool of himself.
Magnus knew he should say what he came here to say, but right now, he could only stare at Alec, feeling completely unprepared for this scenario. Up close, in the awkward silence, he could fully appreciate just how handsome Alec looked-his dark hair was a little messy, but it still looked perfect, and he had more skin on display than usual with his sleeves rolled up and his shirt buttons open, and his eyes were so deep and so expressive, and Alec kept biting his lip in apparent concern as he stared at Magnus, which only made Magnus wish he could kiss those lips of his.
Magnus must have been a little more dazed than he thought by his fall, or maybe he'd drunk too much caffeine today, because he heard himself mutter, "You're beautiful," before he could apply any sort of filter and stop himself, his tone of voice full of wonder as he spoke.
Magnus would have felt mortified all over again at what he'd just said, but surprisingly, Alec blushed bright red, looking equally embarrassed. He stopped what he was doing and ducked his head, as though the comment had taken him by surprise, but Magnus couldn't help noticing the smile that crept to his face as he ducked his head-he looked really pleased with himself; pleased with Magnus's compliment, in spite of his blushes.
Magnus stared at him in amazement. He couldn't help thinking that maybe he was the first person to tell Alec that he was beautiful, although he couldn't imagine how that could be the case. Surely every man who Alec met told him that he was attractive? Surely he had a whole bunch of exes who wished that they'd never broken up with Alec in the first place? And yet there was a hint of inexperience about Alec as he grinned at Magnus's compliment…
Alec shook his head, a smile still on his face, and he opened his mouth as though to say something to negate Magnus's compliment, but then a frown abruptly crossed his face as his eyes fixed on Magnus's right arm. "You're hurt…" he said.
"Huh? Magnus asked him, still feeling a little out of it. For one bizarre moment, he was convinced that Alec was offering some sort of insightful observation on Magnus's inner pain from his past relationships, but then he followed Alec's gaze and he noticed that not only had a part of his shirt sleeve got torn at some point during his fall, but the exposed skin was now bright red.
Magnus wasn't even sure exactly what he'd done, but he was certain that his current mortification was far greater than any pain the 'injury' could cause.
"Alexander, it's nothing; I'm fine," Magnus rushed to explain, trying desperately not to make this situation even more humiliating than it was, but Alec was having none of it.
He mumbled something about a carpet burn, and how the mark could turn into a bruise, and how he would 'take care of it'.
And so Magnus felt like an idiot all over again as Alec set to work attempting to apply some kind of first aid to Magnus's injured arm. He had a feeling that Alec would also have attempted to sew the torn fabric of Magnus's shirt back together too, if Magnus hadn't stopped him.
Magnus could only sit back and close his eyes and think about how his attempts at seducing Alec Lightwood had been a total disaster. In fact, this moment would surely go down in history as Magnus's worst ever attempt at seduction. It would probably appear in some kind of dating guide on what not to do.
It was only as Alec was applying some kind of cold compress to Magnus's arm that a frown crossed his face, followed by what looked like a look of realisation. "Hey, was there uh…was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked Magnus, sounding shy and nervous again now that they were back to normal conversation.
It seemed that he had worked out that Magnus must have had a reason for showing up at his office today.
Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but then he hesitated, taking in the scene around him-Alec was kneeling on the floor next to where Magnus was sitting on a spare office chair, applying a cold compress because Magnus had shown up unannounced at his office and fallen over like an ungraceful idiot and injured himself.
The moment had definitely been lost. Magnus couldn't ask him out for drinks now; not like this; not when he'd made a mess of everything.
"It was nothing, Alexander," said Magnus, attempting to brush off Alec's question with a gentle smile and a wave of his hand-his common method of deflection when questions got a little too personal.
Alec frowned again, apparently not convinced.
"I simply came here to ask if you were going to be at Pandemonium next weekend," Magnus added, thinking quickly, even though he knew that it was a lame question to ask and he probably sounded pretty pathetic right now. He could have asked Alec anytime if he was heading to Pandemonium.
"Um, yeah, of course I'll be there," said Alec slowly as he watched Magnus with a strange expression, "it's Izzy's birthday next weekend…"
Of course it is… Magnus thought to himself with a sigh. Izzy always celebrated her birthday at Pandemonium-she'd told him this already. Perhaps Alec thought that Magnus had hit his head when he fell too, and he was now concerned that Magnus's injuries were worse than he had thought. Just when Magnus had thought that the situation couldn't get any more embarrassing.
Magnus sighed to himself again. He wasn't sure what was worse-his feeling of disappointment, or the thought of having to tell Ragnor and Catarina just how unsuccessful he had been in his attempts to ask Alec out on a date.
He wished that it had been Alec who had attempted to ask him out on a date instead.
Surely Alexander Lightwood would be so much better at this…?