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Though a new year means that they’re already halfway through their last year of high school, it doesn’t mean there isn’t anymore room for positive changes to occur before graduation. Resolutions are made at the start of the year, after all, and no matter what circumstance they’re in, these resolutions should be strived for. Changbin doesn’t care much about making a list of things to accomplish because that’s too much of a commitment for a person like him, but Felix is ambitious, and it’s one of the first things he did the moment the clock struck midnight and 2019 ended.
Changbin is all for Felix being motivated to do new things and bring change to the world, but he has to admit that not all of them are things he'd want to hear on their first week back in school.
“My New Year’s resolution is to get a boyfriend,” Felix proclaims on Thursday morning, meeting Changbin in their usual place right outside the library and sliding in the seat across him.
“It’s too early for this.” Changbin reaches for Felix’s thermos and twists the cap open. His coffee’s always been good, even though all he uses are those cheap three-in-one packets from the convenience store. “And you’ve been saying how you wanted one since last year. Who’s stopping you?”
It’s not like Felix isn’t popular with both the ladies and the men, and he’s charming enough to be surrounded by different types of peoples. But he’s remained single for all his high school life, and he’s pitched this plight to Changbin enough that Changbin has just resolved to never really take him that seriously.
(There’s another reason for that, but it’s not like anyone has to know.)
“Hyunjin,” Felix says firmly. Changbin raises an eyebrow; that’s a new answer. Then again, Felix doesn’t usually delve into the topic beyond his usual I want a boyfriend statements or its variations. It’s partly why Changbin thinks Felix only half-means what he says.
"Hyunjin?" Changbin inquires. Felix and Hyunjin aren’t childhood friends, but their parents are, so the kids first got to know each other through the association of family friend up until high school. Now, they're close.
"Yes," Felix groans, covering his face with his hands. "Our parents made a pact with each other—”
“Wait a minute, your parents made a pact about you two and you actually followed it?”
Felix scowls at Changbin’s incredulity. Changbin doesn’t know why he should even be surprised. Felix tells his parents how much alcohol he really drinks when he attends parties. Jisung is what everyone knows to be a complete goody-two-shoes and even he isn’t that honest. “Anyway,” he continues. “They established the rule that I could only date if Hyunjin did.”
Changbin blinks, processing the words. “And I’m only knowing about this now... why?”
“Because we’re already seniors and I’m sick of being a prude just because Hyunjin is!” Felix bursts out. Changbin actually has to grab the thermos and pull it back before Felix accidentally knocks it over. “I’ve been holding out long enough, and it wasn’t that big of a deal back then, but now this is just getting tiring. For someone so popular, he sure is shit at getting into relationships.”
Changbin opens his mouth to disagree, but Felix is right. Hyunjin has been nominated twice for best looking in their year and got a couple of shows for their theatre club’s rendition of Waitress sold out when people heard it was his turn to play the love interest, since they usually switched the cast around for more variety. But amidst the flowers and chocolates thrown out to him, the declarations of love found on freedom walls and in love letters stuffed in his locker, he hasn’t gotten anything more than an obligated spin-the-bottle kiss in his entire life. Changbin doesn’t even think Hyunjin has ever had a crush.
“He’s picky,” is Changbin’s best explanation.
“An anal retentive.” Felix sighs. “My parents exploited that fact to stop me from running around and asking every crush I ever found hot out. I need the time to grow up and sort out my feelings, or something.”
“I didn’t know you were a dog constantly in heat.”
Felix sticks his tongue out at him. He reaches down his backpack and fishing out a pen and a notebook, which he opens to a blank page. “We need a plan.”
“‘We’?”
“I need help. Hyunjin is picky. You said so yourself. It’s probably why they trust him more than they trust me.”
“Yeah, and Hyunjin’s been like that for years. What makes you think this time will be any different?”
“Because I’m intervening.” Changbin just raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “I’m serious about this. The moment Hyunjin gets a boyfriend, so do I,” Felix says firmly. “Don’t you want me to be happy, hyung?”
Changbin can’t help but frown. This feels dirty; Felix is clearly trying to bait him.
Upon Changbin’s lack of response, Felix grins, knowing he’s won. “Okay, so let’s start Project Let’s Get Hyunjin Laid,” he starts, clicking his pen open.
“You mean, Project Lets Get Hyunjin Laid So That Felix Can Get Laid Too,” Changbin corrects. "You two are the fucking weirdest. What kind of friends pull a 10 Things I Hate About You and decide to not date unless the other one would?”
“Hey, it’s our parents, not us,” Felix defends.
“Doesn’t make a difference if you’re going to actually listen to them.”
Felix rests his cheek on his hand, partly squishing his face. It’s kind of cute. “Realistically, despite how many people fawn over Hyunjin, there are only a few who can really handle him at his best.” He pauses. “And worst.”
Changbin blinks. “You got someone in mind then.”
Felix grins, and writes something down on the page. He blocks it from Changbin’s view so that he can’t see it, as if to maintain the suspense of it all, before pulling away and facing the page to him. There’s only a name inscribed at the center of the paper.
Immediately, Changbin’s expression darkens. “No.”
With a frown, Felix sets down the paper. “It’s a brilliant idea.”
“Your ‘brilliant idea’ is to pair Hyunjin up with Jisung. Han Jisung. Are you even hearing yourself? They were arguing after rehearsals two days ago.”
“Married couples do that sort of thing!”
“They were yelling.”
“Practicing their vocals?”
“About who got to leave the door first?”
Felix pouts. “What do you want me to say? There’s a fine line between love and hate?”
Changbin gives him a flat look. “You did not say that confidently.”
“You’re putting me under pressure!”
“Hyunjin has a fanclub of admirers. You could’ve picked any of them. Or anyone else, for that matter, to be who Hyunjin gets with.”
“You know Hyunjin has high standards.”
“And you think Jisung meets any of them?”
“Look,” Felix says. “Real love is love with someone who accepts you for every bit of who you are at your best and worst, and will never ask you to change.”
He said something like this just a while ago. Now Changbin actually gets the context behind it. “They’ve only seen each other at their worst."
“And with our help, they’ll learn how to see each other at their best,” Felix declares with a tone of finality. Changbin looks at him like he’s insane. People need to be in the same room to be able to get to that state Felix is after. The only reason Hyunjin and Jisung have been able to do that is for the sake of getting things done during rehearsals and delivering inspiring performances during the shows. And not even that isn't a foolproof plan to keeping them civil.
There’s a reason why Chan, an alumnae of the club and director of their productions for years, has resorted to purposely putting them in different groups every time they do exercises prior to actual rehearsals.
But Felix seems set on this plan, and Changbin does want his friend to be able to date freely. It’s senior year, after all; people say it’s the best time to let go of what-ifs and other regrets.
“I still don’t think this’ll work.”
“Yes, but you’ll agree to help me anyway, won’t you?” Changbin just makes a face, but it’s an answer enough. Felix laughs at his expression. “You’re cute.”
Changbin blushes impossibly red at Felix’s words. “Not cool.”
“Sorry.” Except Felix is grinning, and he isn’t sorry at all.
“Can we please talk about this some other time though?” Changbin begs, because even if Hyunjin’s love life affects Felix’s, so Felix has to take initiative, Changbin can’t help but think this situation can easily backfire on them. Getting involved with anything related to Hyunjin and Jisung tends to do that. “I need to reconcile with the fact that I’m signing my life away to those two shitheads the moment they find out what we’re trying to do.”
Felix rolls his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic. You sound like Hyunjin.” He stops. “Actually, maybe you and him—”
“Nope,” Changbin immediately shuts it down. “Jisung and Hyunjin. Compatible as shit. I’m completely on board with that.”
“Thought so,” Felix says smugly. But when Changbin lets out a tired sigh, Felix takes enough pity on him to drop the Hyunjin and Jisung topic. “So what are your resolutions for this year?”
Changbin gives Felix a withering look. “You know I don’t care about that sort of thing.”
Felix sighs. “I know,” he laments. “Still, it was worth a shot.”
Changbin doesn’t reply, and then the bell rings.
Changbin doesn’t care much about making a list of things to accomplish for the year because that’s too much commitment for a person like him, but he does have one, and it’s clear-cut and simple.
Get Felix, his long-term but well-hidden crush, to date him.
So much as he thinks this idea of getting Hyunjin and Jisung together is a terrible, terrible idea, at least it means that Felix will finally be free to date, and Changbin will get to spend enough time with him to actually make a move. Helping Felix with this is a win-win situation for Changbin.
Then again, it’s probably easier said than done.
Miroh is the name of their school’s theatre club, and it’s kind of Changbin’s life. Technically, all of Changbin’s closest friends are from Miroh.
Felix is also part of the club, though they actually met each other back in sophomore year because they were both in the advancement program for their English class—unintentional on Changbin’s part, because he got most of his English skills from spending his childhood watching Western films with Korean subtitles that flickered out every ten minutes—though they got closer because Felix joined Miroh that year. Changbin was already a member since he was a freshman, along with Han Jisung, and then a year later, Felix had entered at the same time as Hwang Hyunjin.
This means there was one year of minimal drama and blissful harmony in Miroh that Changbin’s experienced in this entire high school theatre career before Hwang Hyunjin came into the picture. Not that Changbin resents Hyunjin for that. If anything, Jisung’s the one really at fault, because he’s the one who started the feud that’s been going on with show no sign of stopping.
Hadestown is their finale production for this year, and they’ve been working on it since November. The first show already starts at the second week of February and then tapers off from there; they’re somewhat pressed for time, according to Chan, even though he’s just being a worrywart because they’re doing fine. They’ve already gone through whole runs of the play, and simply need to polish it up. Their pacing is better than it was for their previous productions, like Waitress and Spring Awakening, and that means something.
Currently, they're running through the entire play and picking out what needs to be adjusted one-by-one, so Changbin hangs at the back by the sound system, doing his job because he’s the Sounds Designer. He’s here alone, but then he hears a shuffle from his side, and Felix pops up beside him.
“You are not supposed to be here,” Changbin tells him, eyes trained on the sound board laid out in front of him. “Artistic Team and Sound members only. You’re from Props, and you’re supposed to be doing your job.”
From the corner of his eye, Felix shrugs. “We finished making everything yesterday, and it’s the job of the underclassmen to lug the props according to each scene.”
“Slave driver,” Changbin comments, but it’s the perks that come along with being the co-head. It’s not like Changbin doesn’t know this, as he’s the head of his own department.
“Besides,” Felix says. “This is the perfect view to spy on Hyunjin and Jisung. If I’m backstage, I’m useless.”
Felix is contradicting himself, but Changbin isn’t going to waste his breath pointing that out. He's going to run out at the rate he’s going with Felix and whatever goes on in his head. It’s been two weeks since Felix told him about his dilemma and his determination to get Hyunjin laid, and Changbin initially thought Felix forgot about his insane scheme judging by the radio silence about the topic, but apparently not. “Fine. You know the drill. Just make sure not to touch anything.”
He could use the company anyway. Sounds members are few in number, and they aren’t required to attend every rehearsal there is because then they’d just crowd around the area, which Changbin hates. As long as they know their cues and how it all works, then Changbin isn’t complaining. He likes doing most of the work anyway; it’s his passion, though it’s a bit hard to explain. Becoming a backstage member for a theatre club isn’t exactly what someone would call a goal.
Added with the fact that he’s alone in the back with Felix, he usually couldn't ask for anything more.
Except—
“You have got to be kidding me,” Changbin exclaims. Though he and Felix are on the opposite end of the theatre and everyone else is onstage, which is on the other side, they still have a pretty good view of all the events unfolding. “They’ve been arguing for ten minutes over one thing.”
Jisung and Hyunjin both have the role of Orpheus. Them having to share a role isn’t really a surprise, as it’s already happened twice before amidst the six productions they've had together—Miroh aims to release two productions a year because they’re ambitious like that. Chan says it’s because Jisung and Hyunjin have a vibe that makes them sort of similar to one another, so it’s hard for the artistic team to decide on where to put the both of them when it comes to casting.
The only thing Changbin thinks are similar about Jisung and Hyunjin is that they’re both insanely talented and the most aggravating people on the planet when they’re together.
They follow a two-people-for-one-main-role rule because one plays as understudy—precaution in case the real main cast gets injured, but that almost never happens—but Jisung and Hyunjin are a special case and are too much of a waste to not let perform, so on the off-chance that they get the same role for a production, they get their own time to shine on different dates. Though everyone knows both of them would prefer to hog the spotlight for all the shows, this set-up is a compromise they’re willing to follow through because they’d rather sell their own souls to the devil than ever let themselves be labelled as the other’s understudy. Actual understudies for the other roles would be a lot more jealous of this privilege if they haven’t already witnessed firsthand how Jisung and Hyunjin are when they fight over big things like casting, because they’re already ready to tie each other to a pyre over petty issues.
Right now, Chan had them stop the run to have one-on-one talks with the people and actions he was having concerns with, and this has been going on for a while. Jisung and Hyunjin take turns for who gets to do the practice runs as Orpheus, switching every other day, so one person gets to practice with the cast while the other practices by the side, but now they’re both at the back part of the main stage, arguing about their positioning.
Changbin understands the value of following formations and positions, but one can only talk about being a little off-kilter from the center for so long. Ten minutes is pushing it.
“—the x-mark at the center was all you needed to fucking follow. I thought glasses was supposed to make you see better, but all it does it make you look more like the stupid nerd you really are,” Jisung points out.
Hyunjin scowls. “Oh, I’m the nerd? I'm not the one staying up late playing fucking Minecraft until the sun rises and forgetting that we had to promote the prod to the student body during morning assembly last week."
"You're still harping on about that? At least I made it in time. You're the one who missed the first day of auditions for Rent and begged Chan-hyung to give you a second chance for the role of Roger. And to think that was your first year in Miroh! You really thought you were some hotshot who could get away with that sort of disrespectful crap? It only worked because Chan got sick of your sobbing!”
“Fuck you, my dog got sick!”
“Ooh, my dog got sick,” Jisung mocks. “God, I hope you stand over that x-mark and a piano drops on you.”
“Well, if that happens, then I hope you're right beside me so that they'll realize that your face is a much better thing to hit."
"Pianos aren't actually alive, you know? It's not like they can make those decisions on their own. Or did your tiny brain neglect to remember that fact?"
"You're kind of what they call a 'special case' though, so I'm sure they’re going to make an exception."
"I can't believe how fucking—"
"Oh-kay. That's enough beatdowns for the day," Changbin declares, turning the volume knob down until he can't hear Hyunjin and Jisung's voices any longer because they're arguing through the microphones. The silence is so blissful, Changbin wonders why he didn't do this earlier. He turns back to Felix once more. “Look at me in the eye and tell me that you see something else besides pure animosity between those two.”
“You already agreed; why are you still fighting me on this?” Felix whines.
“I deeply care for your life and mine."
Felix frowns. “I mean, from our view, it kinda looks like they’re getting along.”
He's a bit of an idiot, but it’s kind of cute, so Changbin isn’t going to complain much. “Of course they look like they’re getting along. You can’t hear a single thing they’re saying from here.”
Felix and Changbin both glance back at the cast members. They’re still talking, and from their distance, Felix has a point when he says they look like they’re getting along. But Changbin’s perception is sharper than most, and he knows they’re definitely arguing because (1) he can make out the harsh expressions the two are making as they talk, and (2) that’s Hyunjin and Jisung’s default mode around each other.
“I guess you still do need some more convincing,” Felix says, after a brief moment of consideration. “It’s only fair that I show you some proof.”
Changbin is about to wish him good luck on that, but then a motion up on stage catches their attention. One of the cloud props that they’ve hung up loosely dangles above, and Felix groans. “Fuck,” he says. “Again?”
“Maybe they fucked up the attachment?”
Felix shakes his head. “The rope’s old, and the set piece is made of pretty heavy material, so it’s probably being stretched thin.” He‘s about to make his way to the exit of the sound booth. “I need to ask Seungmin if we have enough spare funds to get better rope.”
But Felix doesn’t have time to do any of that, because a beat later, the set prop’s rope snaps completely and is on its way to dropping. Right where Jisung is standing.
“Watch out!” someone yells, and Hyunjin and Jisung snap out of their personal bubble. When they look up, both their eyes widen in unison, but though Jisung seems planted to the ground, unable to move, Hyunjin is not. He harshly pulls the younger aside, causing Jisung to topple over him. The prop hits the stage with a loud sound, but one of Felix’s members announce that neither the set piece nor the flooring was damaged, so it’s all okay. With everyone and everything safe, Chan says that they should resume the run from where they left off.
Neither Changbin’s attention nor Felix is on the prop nor Chan’s words, however. Instead, they’re completely focused on Hyunjin and Jisung. Though Hyunjin roughly shoves Jisung away after saving him and Jisung rolls his eyes and flips him off at the other for that, which Hyunjin does back with the same amount of venom, they don’t go back to bickering once they get back up like they usually do. Instead, Jisung walks away to practice by the side while Hyunjin joins the rest of the main cast. Though this isn’t the first time they’ve ended an argument because they had to get to work, it’s the first time they’ve done so without any harsh glares or angry scowls or last words. An eye roll, middle finger, and no further words? Unheard of.
“That was a first,” Changbin says, stating the obvious.
When he turns to Felix, there’s an almost manic glint in his eyes. “This is the sign we were looking for,” he tells Changbin.
“What?”
“This plan can actually work,” Felix continues, getting more hyped up by the minute. “Don’t you see? Hyunjin saving Jisung without hesitation? Do you know what that means? It means that their relationship is more than just flat-out hatred!”
Changbin is tempted to point out that as much of an asshole Jisung and Hyunjin can be to one another, they wouldn’t actually, sincerely wish any bodily harm on one another. In the end, he doesn’t say anything.
There’s a café a few blocks away from where Changbin lives that’s called TMT, which became Felix’s favorite place to go to ever since he passed by the place on his way to Changbin’s house back in junior year. Changbin didn’t even know this café existed until Felix took him here, which Hyunjin complains about to this day, because he’d been nagging Changbin to go with him there and all Changbin’s done every time was blow Hyunjin off because he had better things to do.
(Changbin has no excuse for this behavior except that crushes get special privileges. Hyunjin may be his neighbor, but Changbin’s been spending a lot more time with Felix lately ever since the second semester of 3rd year, and Hyunjin has gotten strangely preoccupied with... whatever Hyunjin does besides theatre to really spend as much time with Changbin as he did before. Changbin would point it out, but he doesn’t even think Hyunjin’s noticed it. It’s not really a big deal anyway.)
Over the weekend, Changbin invites Felix over in the afternoon for some food at TMT. There’s no context, just Changbin wanting to hang out with Felix. It’s more than that though, because Changbin never actually does things without reason, and he hopes Felix has caught onto that fact.
He would’ve directly said it’s a date, but Felix deserves better than just a simple text asking if he wants to do that with Changbin. He needs to be smooth about this. Or romantic, more appropriately.
The near end of January proves the weather to still be cold, slowly recovering from the harsh but ultimately fun winter, so Felix enters TMT just on time in an oversized sweater and his nose and cheeks slightly red from the wind. Changbin doesn’t coo at the adorable sight, because Seo Changbin doesn’t coo, but it’s a close thing.
The moment Felix sits down, he groans, as if remembering something unpleasant. “Shit, I forgot my wallet.”
“It’s fine,” Changbin says. “Bought food ahead of time. Their strawberry cake is your favorite, right?”
Felix’s eyes shine as his mouth curves up into a smile. Changbin’s heart beats faster. “Seriously? You’re the best.”
They do a little idle talk while they wait for the food—Felix having spent this morning trying to clean out his room and finding some “old relics” that he thought he lost and telling Changbin their importance, and Changbin telling Felix about how excited his parents are for his finale production that they’re baking congratulatory pastries for all his friends.
“Jisung would try hogging them all,” Felix points out.
“They made him a separate batch because they already knew that,” Changbin replies. The waiter finally comes with the cake, and Changbin’s heart starts to pound in anticipation as she sets it down in front of Felix.
Felix thanks her and hums to himself. “Hyunjin would probably steal them just because they’re specially made for Jisung. Then again,” he pauses, and Changbin silently begs Felix to look down at the cake and see the engraving he specifically asked the employees to put. Felix’s cheesecake has a fondant, the design of a teddy bear holding a heart. The figure is small, but not small enough that it would be impossible to put down anything, so Changbin asked the employees for a special favor and had them write the phrase “Let’s Date? ” on the heart. Felix picks up the fondant figure without even glancing at it, and fuck, if only he could just lower his eyes for a brief moment and see—
“Jisung probably likes desserts Hyunjin hates.” But his eyes are trained on Changbin instead, though he’s deep in thought, as he bites off half of the teddy bear and consumes most of the heart. That, Changbin did not expect. He visibly deflates, but Felix doesn’t notice. “Right?”
“Yeah,” Changbin says, almost mournfully. He should’ve just placed the engraving on the cake itself. Why didn’t he think of what earlier? Then again, it wasn’t like he expected Felix to eat the fondant. Who the fuck eats fondant? They’re for picture-taking, not consuming. "Like how Hyunjin hates pepperoni pizza and Jisung loves it."
"Remember when we went to a pizza place after our first show for Rent and Jisung ordered pepperoni?" Changbin hums in agreement. Felix continues. "Hyunjin just removed all the toppings and then Jisung ate them for him." He pauses. “That’s actually... pretty sweet. The kind of thing a boyfriend would do.”
“If Hyunjin didn’t threaten to poison Jisung’s food for stealing from his plate, yeah,” Changbin agrees, purposely choosing to ignore the last part. It’s a wonder that they still let the two sit across or beside each other during meals when all they do is cause ruckus.
Felix takes a bite of his cake. “If you think about it,” he says as he chews. “They’re actually meant to be.”
Changbin has thought about it. Because of Felix, he’s thought about it many, many times. Not once has he ever arrived at this conclusion. “How?”
The younger takes another forkful. “They complement each other.”
“Because of the pepperoni thing?”
“It’s more than that!” Felix chides, pointing his fork at Changbin. “We’ve been friends with them for years. You’ve known Jisung and Hyunjin as long as I have, even longer, and you know they’re good people, and they’re capable of being kind. Even to each other, even if they haven’t reached that point yet.” Will they ever reach that point with one another is the question, but Felix doesn’t look like he’s done talking. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
The thing is, Changbin can’t, not when Felix’s eyes twinkle with wonder, with sincere belief in this possibility. He can’t, not when he knows that Felix isn’t saying this to bullshit him. Hyunjin and Jisung are a one-of-a-kind relationship, and though it’s never been for the best, the reality about high school that Changbin’s learned is that anything is possible.
“Just give me time to prove it,” Felix nearly pleads. “Just give them time.”
Changbin is starting to think that Felix sees Hyunjin and Jisung through rose-tinted lenses, which is why he’s so insistent that something can happen between them when Hyunjin, despite how they know how picky he is, can do better than Jisung. (Changbin can’t really say anything about the reverse, because Jisung would always be that cocky scrawny freshman he met on the first day of tryouts for Miroh, and that kid plus relationship doesn’t seem mathematically possible.)
But he also gets that this must be fun to Felix, in some way, and that he’s doing it more than having the freedom of dating whoever he wants. If he really wanted to, after all, he could always just go behind his parents’ backs, no matter how much of an obedient child he is. Changbin isn’t even sure if they were serious about the pact or just did it to scare Felix off. Felix is probably doing this because he genuinely wants Hyunjin to be with someone that’ll make him happy.
And again, Changbin thinks Jisung is the last person that can give Hyunjin that, but there’s nothing wrong with playing into Felix’s fantasy that it is. No one’s getting hurt, after all. Or at least, anymore than they usually are.
“If you say so,” Changbin finally says, relenting.
Felix smiles—Changbin realizes he should indulge in the other more often, if it means he gets to be on the receiving end of that expression—and then pushes the remaining cake towards him. “Want some?”
Changbin gets the extra fork and sighs, suddenly reminded of the fondant. “Sure. Why not?”
Admittedly, Changbin is still upset about the failure of his plan, and it’s a bit surprising that this one didn’t work out, considering that he thought it was a pretty good way to subtly confess, especially since Felix usually takes his time to enjoy the things he likes, food included. He could’ve even taken a picture of the cake for remembrance.
There’s always a next time though, so Changbin isn’t worried.
Tensions run high for all of their practices at transition from January to February, their first show looming over them like a reminder that they’re going to have to show the fruit of their labor to more than just fellow Miroh members. They’ve more or less worked out the major problems of each scene, so their performances are decent enough to be publicized, despite how they all know that it won’t compare to when they go all out during the actual shows. They have dress rehearsals every day as per routine, but because this is the smoothest work in progress production they’ve had in a while, the practices are more or less lax and the adjustments needed to be made are few. The anxiety is more of something that happens out of habit, really.
However, even though this production is one of the least stressful ones they’ve ever had, it doesn’t mean no one is fretting. The typically high-strung ones, specifically, are usually off the roof during times like this.
Namely, Jisung and Hyunjin.
This period is the only time the heads let all sorts of arguing slide, including those two’s. Everyone’s feeling the pressure, so it’s reasonable for some of them to snap over the tiniest of things just because they want things to be as perfect as they can be before the show. But again, their pacing for Hadestown has been impressive enough that they can afford to mess around during rehearsals. Today’s practice is chill enough to not even have Chan attend.
And yet.
“For the last fucking time, you’re supposed to cross your left foot over the right, not the other way around! Why can’t you get it right?” Hyunjin yells.
Jisung glares at him. “Fuck you, I get it right plenty of times!”
"Then why didn’t you now?”
“Because I didn’t! What’s the big deal anyway? This is practice! And it’s not even fucking serious! We’re just messing around!”
“That’s exactly my point! All practice has to be done seriously, whether or not other people are just fucking around,” Hyunjin argues. “How the fuck am I supposed to take someone like you seriously if you can’t even dance well?”
“Since when did I care about what you think? You still sound like your throat got grated against sandpaper!”
"Tell me that again when you can finally dance better!"
"And maybe I'll give a rat's ass and actually listen if you sing better!"
Changbin is very much used to the two’s problematic behavior, despite his never-ending exasperation with them; he’s known Jisung and Hyunjin longer than most. He mostly leaves them to their own devices because someone else will definitely handle them instead, but even he thinks this is a bit extreme. Their arguments mostly stem from negative comments the artistic team makes about them, one of them usually acting smug about the other screwing up and resulting in a fight because of it. The ones they initiate on their own right never last that long, and the comebacks they make at one another never truly sting that terribly because they recycle old offenses that are purely restated out of spite.
So this doesn’t make sense. Especially given the fact that their stress is unnecessary; not even Chan has chewed them out for a lack or absence of anything in their performances.
What started out as a casual rehearsal with Hyunjin and Jisung switching places every other scene has suddenly turned into a screaming match between them. The rest of the cast members have wisely retreated to the end of the stage or have even left, knowing better than to interrupt or get anywhere near them.
"You know what your problem is?" Jisung begins. "Your problem is that because everyone thinks you're so hot, no one's ever told you how much you fucking suck." Changbin can't help but think that this isn't true, because Jisung tells him all the time.
Hyunjin blinks, momentarily caught off guard with the words, before a glint appears in his eyes, followed by his expression turning conceited. It’s a look Hyunjin would’ve never perfected if not for the fact that he uses it so often around Jisung.
“Sunshine,” he says with faux-affection. Changbin doesn’t know where the pet name came from, but it’s never failed to get Jisung worked up because of how insulting Hyunjin sounds when he says it. “If you think I’m hot, you should’ve just said so from the start. Since you’re part of everyone, I mean.”
There’s something to say in how Hyunjin’s point must’ve hit if Jisung has been left speechless, but Jisung easily makes up for it by looking like he wants to do way worse than just kill the other, like Hyunjin is humanity’s curse, some lethal disease that takes away lives. It’s definitely mutual, because Hyunjin is glaring back at Jisung like the higher beings brought about the cause of the apocalypse by bringing him into the world.
Changbin, despite being here since rehearsals started, has no idea as to origin to their quarrel. All he knows is that it's getting blown out of proportion, and that this is different from all their other, usual fights, because they're honest-to-god angry with one another.
To his side, Seungmin mutters not-so-quietly, “Where’s Chan-hyung when you need them?”
Changbin is sort of having the same train of thought Seungmin is having, in that Chan is the only person with enough authority to really put a stop to this mess. He's not here though, because today’s rehearsal wasn’t that important to bother going to, and it was for those who still wanted to be diligent about practicing or improve on their performances. There’s Minho, but he makes an active effort to never get in between Jisung and Hyunjin out of fear that he’ll lose brain cells due to their collective stupidity and because it’s way above his paygrade. When Changbin turns around, Minho is, sure enough, fast asleep by the seats, and there’s no way he’s going to take charge and diffuse the situation.
Not particularly ready to look back at the two people he unfortunately calls his friends back on stage, he looks to Seungmin. “Who’s in charge again if our director and choreographer are out of the picture?”
Seungmin blinks, like the question is stupid. “You.”
Changbin barely manages to suppress a long-suffering sigh. Sometimes, he hates being the oldest member in Miroh.
“I think that’s enough fighting for one day,” Felix interrupts, boldly coming up front and separating the two before they get close enough to breathe one another’s air and consequently strangle each other for the violation of private space. “Why don’t we continue with practice, yeah?”
Changbin can’t help but think in dark bemusement that Jisung and Hyunjin’s entire history and relationship would make for an entertaining impromptu drama Miroh would release if not for the fact that it was genuine and the club lacked the funds to cover any sort of insurance in case the two do permanent damage to one another whilst sharing a stage, left to their own devices without any limits.
“You should do something before they claw your boyfriend’s eyes out,” Seungmin tells him, nodding at the three.
“Not my boyfriend,” Changbin replies, almost bitterly, but he walks up to the stage anyway.
It sort of feels like he’s walking to his death by hanging, but maybe it also feels like he’s rushing off to save his damsel in distress who is more of a dumbass than a damsel. Changbin is starting to think that this effort to get Felix to realize his totally non-platonic feelings for him is more trouble than it’s worth, but it’s not often that Changbin is this motivated to do anything, so he supposes it’s a good thing. The fact that this plan involves Hyunjin and Jisung is probably the main downer of this whole ordeal, but he can live with it. Sort of.
“Knock it off, guys,” Changbin scolds, grabbing Felix by the back of his collar and gently nudging him back. Felix immediately hides behind Changbin’s back, and he hates how at the back of his mind, he still lets himself entertain the thought of how cute Felix is. “Let’s not do a whole run anymore. Stick to those specific scenes that Chan-hyung had the most points for improvement for.”
Someone hands Changbin a clipboard with margin notes written in Chan's handwriting about certain sections that could still use a little work. They don’t really need to practice them now, since they aren’t major, but it’s a better way to kill time than let Hyunjin and Jisung’s fight drag out. They’re lacking in cast though, so Changbin switches up the roles and lets some of the other cast members present fill up the missing ones. It’s not that difficult to do so until he comes across Hyunjin and Jisung, because both of them play the main character. They’re missing their Eurydice, both the understudy and the main cast member, and though he can easily get an ensemble member to fill in the space, it’s not like Changbin can tell either one of them to opt out of practice for the day because of the rest of the acting roles are already filled up. That would just lead to another argument.
After a few seconds of consideration, Changbin tells Hyunjin to take on the role of Eurydice.
“You can’t seriously think this is fair, hyung,” Hyunjin complains. From the amount of rehearsals they’ve had the past few months, everyone more or less knows everyone else’s lines, so giving everyone a different character than what they’ve initially been assigned to isn’t that hard. It’s usually something Chan has them do during one of their practices before their last show, just to do something fun and new, but there’s nothing wrong with starting a bit early. “He already gets more opportunities to practice being Orpheus. Why do I still have to help him by playing his counterpart?”
Changbin is used enough to Hyunjin’s whiney ass that he’s able to hold back pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Would you rather not practice at all?” he asks, not expecting a reply. “Besides, you’re a lot more flexible with playing different characters than Jisung is. Consider it a compliment to your acting skills.”
Predictably, Hyunjin does, if the way takes the role gratefully instead of with his initial contempt can be anything to go by.
Jisung, on the other hand, has gone from smug to irritated upon hearing Changbin’s reasoning.
“Are you insinuating that I’m not a good enough actor to take on a female role?” Jisung demands.
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “‘Insinuating’? Wow, I thought those glasses were only for show, but it appears that you do know big words after all.”
This time, Changbin doesn’t bother holding back a sigh. There really is no pleasing those two. “Just start with practice before I decide the both of you are too incompetent for your roles.”
Changbin decides to leave the stage because he’s already done his job, and he doesn’t think they’re going to kill each other at the same intensity as earlier when they actually have a proper task to do.
They run through the scenes in reverse chronological order, and it all goes well until they reach through one of the first scenes, when Orpheus and Eurydice meet, which is the only interaction between the two characters that Chan said needed a bit of work. Changbin is surprised by how much of a decent job he did in getting both Hyunjin and Jisung to play the roles, because Eurydice is unimpressed with Orpheus and his naivety and even looks down on it, creating a tension that’s almost similar to the real relationship between the two.
“Who are you?” Hyunjin asks, almost phrased like a demand, reciting the lines from Come Home With Me.
“The man who’s going to marry you,” Jisung sings, voice determined. ”I’m Orpheus.”
Hyunjin glances to Jeongin, who is filling in for the real cast member for Hermes. “Is he always like this?”
“Yes,” Jeongin says, bowing his head slightly in agreement, nailing the Hermes’ grace perfectly.
“I’m Eurydice,” Hyunjin introduces, almost reluctant, cautious.
“Your name is like a melody,” breathes Jisung.
Hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “A singer? Is that what you are?”
“I also play the lyre.”
“Oh, a liar and a player too," Hyunjin scoffs. Changbin almost thinks it’s unnerving how well Hyunjin plays a role that isn’t for him, but it’s overruled by how impressed he is by his friend’s talent. “I’ve met too many men like you.”
“Oh, no. I’m not like that,” Jisung protests, expression conveying sincerity, and his acting deserves just as much recognition too.
(Changbin remembers at the end of auditions, when they were looking through the pictures of their candidates for the cast and trying to determine who would be the perfect Orpheus. Jisung was majority of the artistic team’s choice, because he naturally gave off the impression of innocence and wholeheartedness. But Hyunjin had the grace that made Orpheus a character that stood out from the rest, so they came at a standstill, initially unable to decide until they chose both of them.)
Orpheus sings a song about how he’s working on a tune that will bring spring back, even when Eurydice expresses her doubt. She calls him crazy and calls his bluff, asking for something better, but Orpheus manages to convince her that when spring comes, they will no longer struggle as impoverished people.
“So when you sing your song, the one you’re working on,” Hyunjin says slowly. “Spring will come again.”
“Yes,” Jisung answers immediately.
“Why don’t you sing it then?”
Jisung shakes his head. “It isn’t finished.”
“Sing it," Hyunjin insists, moving closer to Jisung. He seems amused at Jisung’s growing discomfort as the distance between them closes, which is not part of the act. “You wanna take me home?”
“Yes,” Jisung repeats, straightening his posture and attempting to sound more certain of himself. But Changbin can tell that it’s difficult for Jisung to maintain this lovesick attitude Orpheus has towards Eurydice when the Eurydice in front of him is Hyunjin.
Hyunjin tilts his head, trying to provoke him. “Sing the song.”
Jisung and Hyunjin sing the melody differently, in their own Jisung-way and Hyunjin-way, but Jisung is a lot braver when he uses his voice as compared to Hyunjin when he does it, so it has always been powerful; the former’s voice echoes around the theatre, passion smoothly slowing from his lips to everyone’s ears. He’s joined by the ensemble, and it creates a harmony that reflects the serenity and beauty that spring brings about.
Hyunjin looks at Jisung with wide eyes, grabbing onto the other’s wrists. “How did you do that?”
“I don’t know.” Jisung shakes his head. “The song’s not finished though.”
“Even so, it can do this,” Hyunjin says, waving a hand to their surroundings, meant to reference the life that has bloomed—props of plant life emerging from their hiding spots and the light changing to the shades of the season—from where they stand, before turning back to Jisung. Their faces are close together, Hyunjin trying to imitate the look of bewilderment and awe Eurydice’s character should have upon hearing Orpheus’ song. But the transition from brushing Orpheus off to finding him attractive is difficult for Hyunjin to do properly, and Changbin knows the other well enough to see that it’s just as much of a struggle for him as it is for Jisung to keep up this facade of being in love.
As they finish the rest of Wedding Song, there are newfound smiles plastered on their faces, though they’re stiff and there’s something burning in their eyes as they look at one another. Still, they don’t pull away, even if the interaction is already looking painful to watch because it’s clear that Jisung and Hyunjin really hate this. Changbin almost thinks they’re going to snap and choke one another, but it fortunately doesn’t happen.
Typically, rehearsals start at four and end at nine, but with the premier shows closing in on them, they end near midnight. It’s only a quarter to eleven, but Changbin has them end early because he can tell that the rest of them are tired and they’re already done with today’s agenda anyway.
Felix runs up to him as he’s searching for his stuff beside the sound booth, where most of the Miroh members leave their things so it won’t clutter everywhere around the theatre.
“Did you feel that?” he asks, weirdly enthusiastic despite how late it is.
“Feel what?” Changbin asks back, crouched down and looking for his phone inside his bag.
“The sexual tension between Hyunjin and Jisung during practice. It was there when they were super close together and reciting their lines! Hell, I almost thought they were going to kiss.”
Changbin makes a face. “Definitely not.”
And now that Felix mentioned it, he’ll make even more of an effort to not go near the two. Earlier had been the first time he’s gotten that physically close to Hyunjin and Jisung in a while. The last time he did it was when he had to stop them from getting into a physical altercation by actually slotting himself in between them and actually getting scratched badly enough for it to bleed and leave a mark as a result. Hyunjin had profusely apologized for the incident, saying he was sorry for baiting Jisung into acting like an animal, which kind of made the apology half-hearted, if Changbin thinks about it. Jisung’s only reply was that it was Changbin’s fault for butting into something that wasn’t his business in the first place, which is exactly why Changbin’s way closer to Hyunjin and a lot less tolerant of Jisung’s bullshit even though they’re both equally full of it.
Changbin sees that most of the members have already gotten their stuff and left the theatre before he makes a move to do the same, Felix having left early as well in order to complete a lab report due tomorrow.
By 11:15, he's by the door, certain that he’s the only one still there and about to turn off the lights, but that's when he hears two figures speaking all the way on the stage. When he looks, he sees that it’s Jisung and Hyunjin. He can’t make out the details of what they’re talking from this distance, but from what Changbin can make out, Hyunjin is now practicing his lines as Orpheus and Jisung acting as Eurydice.
Every once in a while, one of them will cut in to berate the other for a subpar performance in a certain part, but that’s the extent of their arguing, and Changbin realizes that Felix might actually be right when he says the two are more than just enemies.
He contemplates telling Felix about the almost touching scene he just saw unfolding between Hyunjin and Jisung, but the moment admittedly feels too private for him to talk about with others. It even feels like something he shouldn’t have seen, even if they’re in the theatre and the two should’ve known that they weren’t completely alone.
In the end, Changbin decides not to mention it to anyone, but he does affirm Felix by telling him that he’s right via text.
Felix replies in incoherent key smashes and a heart emoji, and Changbin can’t help but smile.
“What’s this?” Felix asks, examining the jar that Changbin hands to him.
“Open it,” urges Changbin, the only answer he’s willing to give.
Valentine’s Day is an admittedly overrated holiday, so the school neither the student body care much for the occasion, leaving it to be celebrated by couples alone, but Changbin figured that it was a good opportunity to do something for Felix.
They sit in a garden right outside the faculty building. Changbin had made a pointed effort in getting to school around half an hour earlier than he usually comes to have enough time to talk to Felix, who actively and always goes to school early to utilize the school’s free internet. Though the sun is up, the heat isn’t overbearing, and the morning breeze that flits by them makes Changbin all the more sure that it was good of him to use the opportunity to do something like this. If the cake didn’t work, then surely this one should.
This, being a clear jar with strips of colored paper rolled up into balls and stuffed in the container. It was meticulous work, but Changbin had managed to fill the jar up to the brim. Inside were personalized compliments Changbin had written to Felix, things he liked best about Felix and things about Felix he was grateful for. They weren’t a lot, probably around ten to fifteen because there was only so much Changbin could do within a busy week, especially since it’s already their first week of shows, but the effort and intent were ever-present. He even thinks this is the best one he’s made as of yet.
Felix opens the jar and picks out a red strip, unrolling it and reading the contents. He smiles brightly at the paper. It’s the one that shows his teeth, the kind of expression he makes when he’s caught off guard in a good way. “Aw, you think my smile is cute?”
Changbin has no idea as to how to reply to that. Of course he thinks it’s cute; it’s why he wrote it down. Thankfully, Felix doesn’t mind the lack of response, because he digs through some more of the papers after returning the first one and reads another. He’d make a comment to whatever he reads, but otherwise doesn’t seem to expect Changbin to answer back. Felix is greatly amused by the messages that involve specific memories and moments they’ve shared, seeming to cherish those more. Changbin’s glad that he made a lot of those.
“This is really sweet,” Felix finally says, deciding to check out the rest later and twisting the lid of the jar shut.
Changbin swallows, anticipating Felix’s next words. He’s about to finally outright lay out the true intentions of Changbin’s plan on the table, he’s sure of it. This is how he knows whether or not Felix will reject him or not. “Yeah?”
Felix nods. “Mhm. It’s our last Valentine’s Day as high school students, so this is honestly the most thoughtful thing you could give to your friends. It’s like looking back on the memories we’ve made, right?”
It’s like someone pressed pause on Changbin’s life, because he spends a few seconds just looking at Felix, unmoving.
“I—what?” is all Changbin can manage, in the end, not expecting... that.
Felix doesn’t appear to be listening to him, suddenly caught up in his own string of thoughts. “Actually, this is the kind of thing that Hyunjin would love. He craves validation, you know? Oh, oh, and so does Jisung. Isn’t that why they’re always fighting, trying to one-up the other? It’s their way of trying to get validation. By being better than the other.” Felix’s eyes widen, like he’s come to a certain realization. “Oh my god. That’s it.” He turns to Changbin. “You’re fucking amazing, hyung. Now I know what we can do to help Hyunjin and Jisung together!”
“Felix, that’s not—”
“Fuck, okay, I need to go. My class is on the other side of the campus,” Felix cuts him off. He pulls Changbin’s in a quick hug before pecking him on the cheek, and then in a flash, he stands up, the jar pressed tightly against his chest. “I’ll talk to you later!” he promises, before finally departing, but Changbin can’t process anything beyond the fact that his cheek is tingling from the kiss Felix gave him.
Felix. Kissed. Him. Changbin touches the skin that touched Felix’s lips, not entirely sure for a moment if the gesture was real or all in his head. After a few seconds, the sensible part of him reassures him that yes, it was real, because Felix has the tendency to kiss his friends when he gets ecstatic about something or he’s grateful for whatever the other did. He’s always been open about his affections, regardless of who it is.
Changbin’s shoulders hunch in dejection. As grateful as he is for any opportunity to get Felix’s lips near him, the intent was anything but he was aiming for, and it means that his plan hadn’t worked at all.
(A part of him can’t believe it backfired on him. Doing it for his friends? Really? Since when did Felix ever peg Changbin to be the kind of guy that exerts that much effort for just a friend? He wouldn’t even offer to get Hyunjin a glass of water unless the other paid him to.)
Changbin resists the urge to bash his head against the tree trunk a few meters away in frustration. Felix is oblivious, that much is obvious, but he also clearly can’t drop the topic of Hyunjin and Jisung for a second.
Changbin thinks he must seriously be living a fucked up life if Hyunjin and Jisung, of all people, are his cockblockers. Forget the two of them killing each other; at this rate, he might just be the one to end their sorry lives just to get Felix to finally shut up about them and pay attention to Changbin instead.
The show dates are spread out for Miroh to perform Hadestown for an entire month, though it’s always three shows a week and happen from Friday to Saturday, one show in the evening for Friday and an afternoon and evening show for Saturday. They’re already on their second week, which means they’re halfway through being done, but it doesn’t mean things haven’t been hectic. For one, they fuck up the costumes on the first show, giving Jisung the clothes that belong to Hyunjin, so Jisung’s already purposely large outfit gets even baggier than before. It’s not that bad of a mistake, but Chan chews the Costumes out anyway during company call. Then there’s the other incident during another show when the mics stopped working right after the intermission, in Act II. Changbin got scolded for that, even though it was one of his members’ who was the one in charge for that show.
On the plus side, they don’t have anymore rehearsals, just soundcheck and the actual performance, so the only time they really go home late is during shows; hence, the majority of their week is practically free for them to work on academics and rest their voices in preparation for the shows that will occur later on.
“So I’ve figured out how to make this work,” Felix starts. Changbin and Felix finally manage to have the same shift for a show for the first time in the past two weeks. He has no plans on clarifying his true intentions for last Valentine’s to Felix when all he really wants to do is forget the incident entirely. Felix, thankfully, doesn’t bring it up.
The show still starts at eight tonight, but call time is at five for performers and the other members of Miroh who will help around with the show. Changbin and Felix lounge by the farthest row of the theatre, waiting for the rest of the cast to show up.
“For a relationship to take place,” explains Felix. “One needs to recognize the admirable things about the other in order to be attracted to them.”
What Felix is saying is true, but. “I don’t like where you’re going with this.”
Felix tells him the plan anyway. Regardless of his opinion on the matter, Changbin is a pushover and does what Felix asked of him.
Performers do warm-ups before soundcheck. Minho usually has other members who are non-cast help them do the exercises properly so that they aren’t aching at the end of the show, so Felix heads to Jisung to assist him as Changbin goes to Hyunjin as part of Felix’s plan. Tonight is Hyunjin’s show, so Jisung is only here to take a minor ensemble role. Both Jisung and Hyunjin exercise and work their muscles out of practice enough that they don’t really need the warm-ups, but Jisung uses it as an excuse to talk with the other cast members while Hyunjin uses it to try and calm down his usual pre-show anxiety that he never truly got to shake off.
“It’s not like this is your first rodeo,” Changbin says, crouching in front of Hyunjin as he does his required push-ups. Hyunjin looks at him in confusion. “Performing, I mean. As the main.”
“Doesn’t change a thing,” Hyunjin huffs, before finally finishing the task. “Experienced or not, you can always make a mistake.”
It’s a risk saying this, but Changbin does it anyway. He figures that the more direct he is, the faster he can get his job done and leave. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you should be a lot more like Jisung.” He nods towards the direction of the boy, who is busy talking with Felix. “He’s always been confident in his capabilities.”
Naturally, Hyunjin scowls at the mention of the name. “Confident? More like arrogant. No wonder his forehead is so goddamn big.” But he doesn’t say anything more than that. He must be really nervous, if he doesn’t take the opportunity Changbin’s basically handed to him to talk shit about Jisung.
Changbin hums. Okay. He can work with this. “Do you really want to end your last year in Miroh like this though?”
“Like what?”
“Your relationship with Jisung.” Changbin waves a hand. “Do you really want high school to end with you and him being the same as it’s always been? It’s kind of a sad way to close the curtains, isn’t it?”
Hyunjin frowns, looking like he’s considering Changbin’s words. The latter sits on the younger’s legs as he starts with sit-ups. “I mean, I guess you’re right,” he allows. “Guy won friendliest member during the award show last year, after all.” It’s a silly little thing Miroh does, ending the school year by having an award show. They have categories like “most likely to forget choreography,” or “most likely to bolt Mariah Carey,” which are done for laughs, and others like “friendliest member” and “most passionate hard worker,” which are more serious. “He even has a couple of friends who are super rowdy. I think you’ve heard of them. They went to one of his shows and were constantly screaming every time he did something remarkable like hit a high note. Seungmin says he would’ve hated the noise they were making if not for the fact that they were doing it to show support. He must be a decent guy to have people who are proud of him. Jeongin even said that Jisung bought him flowers at the end of the younger’s first show despite just being ensemble.” Jeongin had cried because of that, Changbin remembers.
Hyunjin’s words surprise Changbin. The latter only needed to do a little bit of prompting before Hyunjin took off on his own and launched into a ramble about how Jisung wasn’t someone only made up of God’s mistakes.
“‘Remarkable’?” Changbin raises an eyebrow. “Never thought the day would come when Hwang Hyunjin would praise Han Jisung.”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes. “Oh, fuck off. I’m not deaf; that jerk is fucking good at what he does.”
“He is.”
Hyunjin nods. Then his expression hardens. “But it doesn’t matter, in the end. His head is still buried in his ass. And all those potentially good qualities he has that he shows to everyone but me? Absolutely ruined by his dickish personality, in my opinion.”
Changbin frowns at Hyunjin’s phrasing. It sounds like he’s offended that Jisung doesn’t show him the same kindness he shows others, even when the reason for that is because Hyunjin pisses the other off, but that’s a shallow issue, and Hyunjin’s offense seems more like... hurt. Like it's more because he actually cares that Jisung doesn’t treat him like that.
The thought is too surreal for Changbin to immediately buy into. But he doesn’t have time to comment on it, because Minho has finally blew the whistle to signal that warm-ups are over and they need to start with soundcheck, so both Changbin and Hyunjin need to leave to get to work. He could always just bring it back up with Hyunjin later on, but he has a feeling that he won’t get a proper answer.
“Break a leg, man,” Changbin tells Hyunjin. “You’ll do great.”
“If I don’t, I’ll never hear the end of it from that bastard,” Hyunjin grumbles, but he flashes Changbin a grateful smile for his reassurance. “Thanks, hyung.”
As he makes his way down the center aisle, heading to the sound booth, Felix catches him by grabbing his arm. “Hyung.”
“How did things go on your end?” asks Changbin.
Felix shakes his head. “No-go. How about you?”
“Hyunjin was—” Changbin hesitates for a moment, wondering if he should say it before realizing that there’s just too many things to say, and none of it even really makes sense. “I don’t even know. He was pretty weird about the whole thing.”
Felix lets out a frustrated noise as he rubs his cheek, as if trying to remove the dismay evident in his features. “Goddammit, and to think I was so sure this is work.”
Changbin tries to pretend like he doesn’t understand where Felix is coming from (albeit a different context), but it’s difficult.
“What’s with that smile? Something good happen?” Chan asks as Seungmin walks into the theatre. It’s Saturday morning of their third show week, and they’ve mostly just been messing around, reenacting their most iconic scenes from past productions since soundcheck is after lunch. Minho would only make it to the evening show due to having some prior engagement. Everyone’s in a pretty good mood, despite it being the morning of a weekend. Hyunjin and Jisung haven’t even argued yet, though Changbin thinks it has something to do with how Jisung is preoccupied with playing with Chan’s hair as the older rests his head on the younger’s lap to really bother noticing Hyunjin’s presence.
In Seungmin’s arms is a tablet, which he cradles like it’s his child. Changbin has an idea he knows what this is about. Seungmin looks at all of them, smile still plastered on his face. “As per usual,” he starts. “All of Hyunjin’s shows have been sold out.”
This is admittedly sort of old news, something that’s expected, ever since Hyunjin’s debut as Roger in Rent back in their sophomore year. Still, everyone cheers with the same amount of vigor and delighted shock as they had the first time it ever happened. Besides, Hadestown is a production that they all knew would be harder to sell than Rent since the former isn’t that well-known. Hadestown also has a smaller cast, and Hyunjin, as Orpheus, basically has the starring role.
Hyunjin’s eyes are twinkling with pride, and Chan gets up to give Hyunjin a congratulatory pat on the back for the success. “So tell me, sunshine,” Hyunjin starts, turning to the said boy. “What does it feel like, being unable to sell out all your shows?”
Jisung rolls his eyes, but he turns to Seungmin instead of gracing Hyunjin with a reply. “You look like you have more to say.”
Seungmin nods. “You know the press we had during yesterday’s show? They already released their review this morning.” He looks to his tablet and presses something before turning the screen towards them. They all gather around to read through the article Seungmin had displayed.
“Han Jisung has been a constant in theater Miroh ever since his debut performance as Connor in Dear Evan Hansen back when he was a high school freshman, and has shown us over the years with his various roles that he’s a force to be reckoned with in terms of charismatic acting and passionate singing.’” Felix reads aloud. “‘However, his take on Orpheus may be his best performance yet. He had easily captivated the audience and made them sympathize with his plight and undying love as Orpheus for the character Eurydice, as well as nailing his reluctance and fear in the face of adversity with so much authenticity that it seemed less like an act and more like reality.’”
“Jesus,” someone breathes out from the side.
“Finish reading,” Seungmin urges Felix.
“‘It would not be much of a stretch to say that Han Jisung is an individual that will truly go places as a Broadway actor for how much talent he already possesses. Furthermore, if someone were to make the most out of the rest of his untapped potential, I have no doubt that he could easily take the Broadway world by storm.'” Felix leans back, the words clearly catching him off guard. “Whoa.”
“As per usual,” Jeongin imitates Seungmin.
Felix’s awe is an echo to what the rest of them feel. Jisung has always gotten praise for his skills, but never to this extent. If Hyunjin is their resident moneymaker, then Jisung is their resident performer prodigy. But like with Hyunjin, this performance in particular is a big deal. They’re seniors, and it’s Jisung’s first time ever having all the attention to himself in a review rather than being a passing mention of “memorable, but is still lacking that unique edge to set him apart”.
Seungmin turns the tablet back to him. “There’s also the one from the premier show, though they only released it a few days ago.”
“What did they say?” Jisung immediately asks.
“It was praising Miroh as a whole. Said we were probably the only school theatre org that has ever done this musical so splendidly,” Seungmin answers. “Though they did mention that you were at the helm of that success. Along with Chan-hyung and Minho-hyung, of course.”
“Fuck, I’m so proud of you,” Chan beams, tackling Jisung to the ground to give him a hug. Jisung groans, but he recovers quickly, face lighting up and staying that way, even as Chan ruffles his hair before standing up. “I’m gonna call Minho. Tell him to get something extra special for later to celebrate what you two have accomplished.”
The rest of them crowd around Jisung, contributing their own form of congratulations and praise. Changbin has no doubt that it’s boosting his already huge ego, but he joins in and says he isn’t surprised that Jisung was amazing. Jisung is not a crier, not for things that involve him alone, but his eyes are shining slightly anyway.
The only person that doesn’t approach Jisung is Hyunjin. When the others are finally done saying their piece, that’s the only time the fact really becomes evident, and a silence envelops the room. Hyunjin just looks at Jisung evenly. Jisung stares back, until a boastful look breaks out.
“So tell me,” Jisung retorts. “What does it feel like, only being able to sell out shows because of your face?”
Hyunjin’s reply to a comment Jisung had made before that was similar was that Jisung basically complimented his looks, so it’s what Changbin expects him to do again. But Hyunjin surprises him by scoffing instead, huffing, “Whatever” and walking away, disappearing behind the curtain of the backstage area.
Judging by the awkward silence that slips in after Hyunjin is gone, Changbin isn’t the only one who didn’t see that coming. They expected an argument to start, not to end. Seungmin, thankfully, breaks the strained atmosphere by pointing out that some of them haven’t reached their quota of ticket selling.
Changbin glances at Jisung, who doesn’t even look that proud anymore, replaced by a conflicted expression instead. After a few minutes, Jisung gets up and runs off.
Seungmin lets out an exasperated sigh. “Those two are the weirdest,” he says, before finally deciding that he’s spent enough time here and heads out. The rest of the Hadestown production disperse, off to do their own thing, leaving only Changbin and Felix behind and reconcile with whatever had just happened.
“Did you notice?” Felix asks. “The direction Jisung was headed to.”
Changbin isn’t sure where he specifically went to, but he hadn’t failed to notice that he went to where Hyunjin had stormed off to. He nods.
“He was acting kind of insensitive.”
Changbin snorts, but it’s half-hearted. “Doesn’t he always?”
“This is different,” Felix insists, and Changbin is actually inclined to agree. “Even enemies have lines they don’t cross. I think he’s going to apologize, diffuse the tension, all that.”
“Maybe,” says Changbin, though he can’t help but feel like it’s more than just that.
Finale is both an ecstatic and somber affair, the relief that their hard work has paid off and they can finally rest once this is all over, and sadness that follows, because this is the last production of a lot of Miroh members, and they’re all going their separate ways afterwards. Hyunjin takes the afternoon show and Jisung takes the evening, and they’re both crying at the end of their respective performances. Felix cries both times, and Changbin is only sort of tearing up.
He hasn’t necessarily given up on his journey to woo Felix, but he’s down to his last option, and it’s the one he likes the least. He’s desperate though, so it’ll have to do. He fucking hopes to God Felix will finally catch on.
It’s a bouquet of daisies, yellow in color instead of white because Felix looks good in yellow. Felix knows as well as Changbin does that being part of the backstage crew is a thankless task, so the flowers are in congratulations for a job well done in Hadestown. Friends also don’t typically give other friends flowers unless they see them as something more, so Felix should take the hint. Changbin doesn’t like this method because it’s too typical, but it’s as direct as he can get all while still being romantic, so he can’t complain much.
Majority of the audience are already gone save for the family members of the cast, and Changbin grabs Felix and pulls him aside before he can join the rest of Miroh for the company call. They’re not really required to listen anyway, and Chan’s probably going to give the same speech on their last day.
“What is it, hyung?” Felix asks, frowning.
“Here,” Changbin says, showing him the bouquet. “These are for you.”
It’s late at night, and the light that shines a few meters away from them doesn’t do justice to the blush that appears on Felix’s face as he accepts the flowers, looking at them like he doesn’t know what to feel. “Hyung, I—”
“You?” Changbin prompts gently.
“I—oh.” Then Felix looks up at Changbin, even more elated than before. “This is great.”
Changbin’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What?”
But Felix, as always, is already taking off, and Changbin has no choice but to follow. They end up in the clubroom, which is right beside the theatre, so it’s not a long walk. The clubroom only gets used as a storage room for props they want to keep long-term and for the cast members to change since they’re usually kicked out of the theatre right after they’re done using it. All the members have their own lockers, but they don’t have locks since it’s only meant to be used to keep in clothes. Changbin watches as Felix heads to the locker labelled with Jisung’s name and shoves the bouquet inside. Then he fishes out a pen from his pocket and rips off a page from a notepad conveniently on the table and writes something before putting it on top of the daisies.
“Felix—”
“Shh, they’re coming,” Felix says, reaching over to cover Changbin’s mouth. “Act normal.”
Though he’s reluctant, it’s not like he can do anything, because the damage is already done. Changbin heads to his locker while Felix sits on the chairs and starts to play with a game on his phone. He hadn’t bothered with his locker for a while, so he’s surprised to see the mess inside, filled with unused books and extra clothes that he thinks were probably meant for his PE class.
Some of the production team and the cast of Hadestown starts to trickle in, sweaty and exhausted as they change their clothes and start to pack up. Changbin actually gets distracted for a few minutes with collecting whatever books he can fit in his bag to take home, trying not to dwell on the fact that this locker will be given to a newbie member by next year.
Then he hears someone make a surprised noise. Changbin turns around to see Jisung holding onto the bouquet that should’ve been Felix’s, everyone else inside watching the younger with rapt attention upon its discovery.
“How long has that been in there?” Minho asks.
Jisung shrugs. “For a while, I think. My entire locker smells like flowers now.”
“What does this mean?” someone whispers to another.
“I don’t know, but only members know the code to the clubroom.”
The room erupts in chatter until someone says, “Look, there’s a note! Read the note, Jisung-hyung!”
Jisung doesn’t though, like he hadn’t heard the request, so Minho has to approach him to do it for him. “It just says it’s from a secret admirer.” Minho frowns. “Any idea on who it could be?”
Jisung just shakes his head, still staring at the flowers and the note.
“Do you recognize the handwriting?” Felix asks.
“Uh—no,” Jisung stammers, shaking his head vigorously.
“His secret admirer has to be part of Miroh though. That’s for sure.”
Jisung hasn’t looked up once, it occurs to Changbin. When he gets a better look at his friend, he realizes that the other’s cheeks are flushed pink.
“You’re weirdly flustered by this,” Changbin points out, speaking up for the first time.
Jisung’s face just turns redder, but Changbin can’t read the expression on his face.
“It’s probably because he’s never gotten admirers or flowers from anyone outside of people he knows. Right, Jisung?” Felix pipes up.
“Yeah,” Jisung agrees, slightly breathless. “This—this is a first.”
“Aren’t you happy then? You should find out who it is,” Felix urges encouragingly, and the gesture is subtle, but Changbin doesn’t miss the way Felix quickly glances at Hyunjin’s direction as he speaks. Changbin suddenly gets Felix's plan now. He wants to make Hyunjin jealous.
Changbin can’t tell if this is a foolproof strategy or not. Jisung is unexpectedly affected by the gesture, and Jisung also has something Hyunjin doesn’t, for once, so that’s bound to rile Hyunjin up. Especially when this kind of thing is known to be Hyunjin’s forte. But all Hyunjin does is snort loudly, making everyone’s attention go from Jisung to him. “That admirer of yours is probably fake,” he says. “Yellow is a terrible color on you. Though at least you’re pretty similar, since you’re both annoying to look at.”
Jisung’s expression morphs into something stormy. “You’re just jealous because for the first time, someone isn’t fawning over you, but me,” he snaps. “Stop being insecure.”
“Fuck you. I hope you enjoy your first and only time getting that crap,” Hyunjin snaps back, before leaving the room in a huff. He slams the door on his way out. It rattles the decorations in the room and everyone inside.
Jeongin, whose locker is right next to Changbin, runs a hand through his face in exhaustion. “I think all that affection Hyunjin-hyung gets from others has made him expect stuff like that too often."
Jisung is clenching down hard on the stems of the daisies. Then he tosses them roughly into the trash bin and walks out in a similar fashion to how Hyunjin had. Neither of them had even bothered changing.
“What a mess,” Seungmin states, voicing out everyone’s thoughts.
Understatement of the year, Changbin thinks. They all hesitantly goes back to minding their own business, in a hurry to get out of here, but Changbin walks over to Felix, who looks even more dispirated than the last time. “Maybe I was wrong,” he tells Changbin quietly. “Maybe they aren’t really a good match.”
Now would be the perfect time to comfort Felix, especially when Changbin actually believes that Felix was onto something with Hyunjin and Jisung, even if it wasn’t exactly a romantic relationship. Instead, Changbin is quiet, and simply gazes at the now ruined and dirtied flowers in disappointment.
Two weeks after the finale, Miroh hosts the post-production party for Hadestown. It’s timed two weeks before finals, but while the underclassman are stressed, the seniors don’t care much because this is their last ever hurrah in Miroh, and they’ll be damned if they can’t make the most out of it.
Changbin, however, is unable to get into the mood, too busy lamenting over his various unsuccessful attempts in getting Felix to realize his feelings. He’s all but given up, at this point, but it doesn’t mean he can’t be upset about it. He wonders what he’s doing wrong. He wonders if this is basically just fate telling him that they don’t approve of him and Felix getting together, which is why everything he does keeps on getting sabotaged one way or another.
The last thought is incredibly depressing to consider. It must show on his face, because Chan, always the ever-gracious host, approaches him as he’s moping on the couch, and tries cheering him up by feeding him copious amounts of alcohol. He mostly drinks beer as Chan keeps him company, but then someone from the garden starts karaoke-ing to On My Own—they’re a theatre club, of course the only songs they’re going to have are from musicals—and he asks Chan to fetch him a two shots of vodka.
He hates how he has pretty decent tolerance, because the alcohol does absolutely nothing.
“You know what you need? Company,” Chan suddenly says.
Changbin blinks. “You're company."
“I mean,” Chan continues. “Company that’s... livelier. That’ll do good in distracting you from... whatever is making you upset. Like Felix."
Changbin glances to where Felix is. He’s talking with the other members of the Props team, laughing along to whatever they’re saying or doing, and he thinks that Chan's idea is terrible.
“I don’t think that’s recommendable." Then he feels something heavy coming from his bladder. “And I think drinking so much beer was either.” He gets up. “Know where the bathroom is?”
“There’s one underneath the stairs,” Chan says. “Though if that one’s occupied, you can always go to the one upstairs. It’s at the end of the hall.”
It’s a given in all parties that upstairs is usually off-limits to everyone, but Changbin and Chan are close enough that Chan makes an exception. Changbin thanks him and leaves, and sure enough, the first floor bathroom is occupied. He waits for a few minutes in case the person will leave, but when he presses his ear to the door and hears puking, he realizes that they’re not coming out anytime soon. Second floor it is then.
He trudges up the stairs, already tempted to call it a night and head home. Or maybe crash in one of Chan's free rooms to save him the trouble of too much walking. He’s sure the older won’t mind, especially when it’s happened plenty of times before.
Changbin immediately sees a door at the end of the hallway. Chan's bathroom is far enough from where all the party is happening, so he’s able to pee in blissful silence, weighing his options one last time on what he’s going to do. After deciding he’ll just ask Chan if he can crash here for the night, he leaves the bathroom, about to head down.
The hallway is full of doors to rooms Changbin guesses to be a bunch of bedrooms. Chan has always been loaded because his parents work abroad, so it only makes sense that he can afford to have this many rooms made. Though most of the doors are shut, one of them, right beside what Changbin recalls to be Chan's bedroom, is slightly ajar. He’s about to just pass it by until he hears a bunch of unfamiliar sounds, ones he can’t make out, so he stops and tries to concentrate.
The sounds start to form into mutterings, and voices that sound oddly like Hyunjin and Jisung.
Hyunjin and Jisung. In the same room. Far away from everyone else. Probably arguing. In a party, to top it all off. Changbin can’t believe those two.
Without hesitation, Changbin grabs the knob and pushes the door open, a lecture about to spill out from his lips. “You guys seriously can’t be fighting during a—”
The rest of what he intended to say immediately die out when he sees the two of them. Sprawled on the bed is Hyunjin, with Jisung situated on top of him, both their eyes shut, faces pressed together, lips locked in a heated kiss.
(Changbin can’t believe he became one of those friends that walked in his friends’ kissing.
He can’t believe he walked in Hyunjin and Jisung kissing.)
Hyunjin’s eyes burst open upon hearing the door open. The moment he sees Changbin, he jolts, immediately pushing Jisung off the bed, causing him to fall to the ground. “What the fuck?”
“What the fuck yourself!” Changbin yells back, just as horrified.
Jisung’s head pokes out as he sits up, groaning as he rubs his head. “Yeah, what the fuck, hyung? I never begged you to be a voyeur.”
Hyunjin turns to Jisung and kicks him harshly at his side. “Not now.”
“Am I drunk?” Changbin wonders aloud. But then he realizes that it’s not possible, because any alcohol that could’ve clogged his sense of perception is now flushed down the toilet and in the sewage. “Nope. Not drunk. Are you two fucking drunk?” Then he backtracks on that thought when Hyunjin and Jisung just stare at him. “No, not possible either. Jisung just drinks punch and pretends it’s alcohol because he hates the taste.”
Hyunjin snorts at that. “What a loser.”
“Hyung,” Jisung whines. “How can you out me like that?”
“It’s not like I didn’t already know."
Changbin shakes his head, trying to reel in the fact that Hyunjin and Jisung are—what? What exactly is happening? What the fuck are these two doing? “You two better tell me what’s going on here, because there’s no way in hell I’m leaving until I get the full story.”
“Cockblocker,” Jisung calls out, only for Hyunjin to kick his side again.
“It happened a month before Newsies season began—”
“That was last year!” Changbin exclaims. “You’ve been dating for that long?”
“Not dating,” Jisung corrects. He’s still on the floor, and shuffles closer. “We were just... letting off some steam, if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t, and I don’t want you to explain it to me,” Changbin deadpans. “And you guys are... still? Not dating?”
Jisung and Hyunjin share a look, one that doesn’t have a single trace of hostility, for once, and Changbin already knows the answer to that question. “We are now.”
Changbin can’t believe that the entire time he and Felix have been trying to intervene in Hyunjin and Jisung’s relationship, trying to make something happen, it turns out that something already did, and none of them have figured it out because the two never acted any differently. He isn’t sure whether or not it says something about their acting skills or just their general dynamic as a relationship, but he thinks he’s better off not asking about that. But if Hyunjin had already been dating all this time, then, “Does anyone know?”
Hyunjin shakes his head. “You’re the first.”
Changbin should be honored, but he frowns instead. “Why haven’t you told anyone? Or at least Felix? He says he’s not allowed to date until you do.”
Hyunjin slaps his forehead. “He actually listened to them?”
Changbin crosses his arms. “You know Felix.”
“The hell are you talking about?” Jisung asks, frowning as he glances at the two of them.
Hyunjin ignores Jisung and focuses on Changbin. “We didn’t want people knowing in case we wouldn’t work out.”
Instinctively, Changbin is inclined to agree, that they were right to fear, because this is the last relationship Changbin could have ever seen coming. Because even if he looks back and remembers that there were some signs that their relationship was not what they thought it was, it doesn’t change the fact that their hostile attitude towards one another wasn’t any different than it was before they got together, and the arguments they’d make in front of everyone seem too legitimate to be just for show. Though Changbin knows they're both good actors, there’s no way they could’ve faked that. And relationships, as far as Changbin is concerned, won’t survive with that much toxicity laced in between them.
But then he notices how Jisung had been moving closer to Hyunjin, leaning on the other’s legs as they’d been talking, head resting on the older’s jean-clad thigh. Hyunjin had been paying attention to Changbin the whole time, but his hands rest on Jisung’s head like touching him is instinctive.
Changbin can barely understand this relationship that’s been under his nose for months, what more the complexity of it, but he has a feeling that Hyunjin’s worries are for naught.
“Fucking hell,” Changbin says at last. “So you’re telling me that all of my and Felix’s efforts in getting you two together were fucking useless? He was so invested in your bullshit that he kept on seeing all my attempts to woo him as something related to you both instead of what they really were.”
“Oh, is that why he was trying to get me to point out all these positive things about you?” Jisung questions.
Changbin scratches the back of his neck. “Remember those flowers in your locker? Those were from me. It was supposed to be for Felix, but he thought it was to help with getting you two to realize you like each other. He wanted to make you jealous.”
“Like I said, Jisung and yellow are a horrible combination,” Hyunjin asserts, and it occurs to Changbin that back then, Hyunjin had said it less to be insulting and more because he knew. “If someone wants to get Jisung flowers, they should be red.”
“You’ve never given me flowers,” Jisung points out.
“Flowers are overrated. Besides, you can’t take care of things for shit,” Hyunjin replies flippantly. He reaches down to grab Jisung from his armpits to haul him up. Jisung swats his hands away and gets up on his own, playfully plopping down on Hyunjin's lap, back pressed against his chest. Hyunjin winces at the sudden weight on him, but he only slaps Jisung’s thigh in revenge. Changbin tries not to react at the way Hyunjin's arms circle around Jisung's waist. Is this something he has to get used to? He really, really doesn't want to. Hyunjin frowns at him. “Why haven’t you just directly asked Felix out?”
“It needs to be romantic,” Changbin argues. “Or at least special. That’s the kind of thing Felix deserves.”
“And that’s been working out so well for you.”
Changbin rolls his eyes and huffs, but he doesn’t have any response to that. “How did you two get together?” Hyunjin and Jisung give him a matching blank look, like they’re asking Changbin if he really wants to know that. “Officially,” the oldest amends. “As boyfriends, I mean.”
"Well, it began during last year's Reverse-Role Workshop," Jisung begins dramatically; Changbin thinks he’s attempting to imitate the narrators in rom-coms. "From the moment that Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin met during the script-reading for Rent two years ago, there had always been a tension between them that was so stifling that it became tangible whenever they were together in a room. But all it took was two years and a scripted fist fight for them to realize that very tension was something that stimulated them with excitement. Sexual in na—"
Hyunjin clamps a hand over Jisung's mouth, effectively stopping him before he could go on. "We were pretty upfront about what we wanted with one another,” Hyunjin answers Changbin. He makes a disgusted face for a second, likely because Jisung had licked his hand, but he doesn't let go. “Both for when we were just screwing around, and when we realized that we weren’t anymore.”
Changbin rolls his eyes. “You guys are fucking boring.”
“We’re honest,” Jisung interjects, managing to wrench himself out of Hyunjin’s grip to talk. Hyunjin wipes the saliva his hand off Jisung’s shirt. The latter crawls off Hyunjin’s lap to sit down beside him on the bed instead, staying at the center of the bed, legs folded inwards. “And at least we’re getting some action because of it instead of confessing so passively. Hyung, what you’re doing? That’s for pussies, and that won’t work when what you’re after is Felix’s dick!”
“Are you telling me that’s the only reason why we’re still together until now?” Hyunjin asks Jisung, feigning hurt.
Jisung turns his head towards Hyunjin and raises an eyebrow. “Are you really that stupid? Of course that’s the only reason,” he replies. “I mean, you’re an asshole, but at least you’re pretty to look at.”
“And you’re a nitwit, but you’ll probably be really rich someday, so I’ll let it slide,” Hyunjin says, giving Jisung a sardonic smile, leaning closer, their backs pressed against each other.
“That may be true, but that also means that I’m going to die in a gold coffin surrounded by all my riches. I’ll ask my body to be laid face-down so you can kiss my ass one last time.”
“Funny, but you’re insane if you think I'm going to ever let you die when your money will become worth shit the moment you kick the bucket."
Changbin thinks he should’ve drank more alcohol. This passive-aggressive complimenting and insulting affectionate behavior is starting to get sickening, like Changbin’s witnessing the birth of an abomination that shouldn’t scientifically exist, so Changbin takes advantage of the fact that the two are completely enamored with one another and leaves before he gets further scarred.
Chan is not in the couch anymore when he gets to the ground floor, but he isn’t surprised by that. Nothing seems to have changed in the timespan that he was gone, some of them dancing to the music of the DJ in the living room, others karaoke-ing outside, and everyone drinking, talking to one another.
Changbin has always pegged that belief that alcohol can cause memory loss as complete bullshit, but the moment he heads into the kitchen where all the drinks are stored and starts pouring himself shots and downing them without a chaser or hesitation even though they taste like shit on his tongue, it’s with the intention to purge the image of Hyunjin and Jisung kissing—the entire interaction he had with them, really, who knew those two could actually be lovey-dovey to one another, no matter how fucked up the exchange actually was—from his mind.
He doesn’t know how long he stands in the kitchen alone, practically cradling the shot glass as he leans on the table, giving the alcohol time to eat away at his mind until thinking just takes too much work. It’s a slow progress, unfortunately, because at some point, his thoughts spiral back to Felix. He swore he’d given up at the start of the party, but hearing about the reality of Hyunjin and Jisung’s relationship—there’s really no way he can just forget something like that—has made him regret losing the drive that easily. If Hyunjin and Jisung can do it, then why can’t Changbin?
There has to be some way he can get Felix to know he likes him, some other way to confess. The first thing that comes to mind is the most recent event, Hyunjin telling Changbin that all Hyunjin and Jisung needed to be to get to where they are now was straightforwardness. Granted, Changbin thinks their honesty is extreme enough to more appropriately count as zero brain-to-mouth filter or tact. Truthfully, Hyunjin and Jisung would’ve gotten along earlier—even together, do they even really get along, or is that just a concept that’s absent from their now shared vocabulary?—if they just knew when to shut up and stay polite.
Changbin doesn’t think he has much to lose in doing this though. At least not anything he hadn’t already prepared for in his previous attempts. But simply telling Felix he likes him doesn’t sit well with Changbin, because he still firmly believes that Felix should be confessed to in a memorable way, if not necessarily a romantic or special one. Felix cares a lot about love, after all. The fact that Hyunjin dating would mean he’d be free to date too aside, Felix had exerted so much effort into bringing Hyunjin and Jisung together because of that very thing, that desire to introduce love to his friends.
Changbin loves Felix for that—for how things that seem like they’re being done out of selfishness have selfless intentions behind it. Changbin loves Felix for how he gets giddy over everything, and it’s mesmerizing to watch, the way his face would light up and make him even more handsome than he already is. Changbin loves Felix because he’s definitely a bit of an idiot, but he wants Felix to be his idiot, and he’s probably the only dumbass Changbin would gladly follow to the ends of the earth, even if he’ll definitely protest along the way.
Before he knows it, his feet have taken him to the backyard of CHan's house, where the karaoke portion of the party has been going on. They had went the extra mile by setting up a wooden stage for those who wanted to sing, but right now, it’s void of a performer, members Changbin is too drunk to really recognize nudging each other to go up and start something.
It doesn’t take long for Changbin to walk up the stage and grab the microphone. When someone asks him what song he’d like to do, he waves a hand at them. “I’m not here to sing. I just need to say something.”
He’d meant to only say it to the guy in charge of the karaoke machine, but he accidentally says it through the microphone instead, causing everyone to pause in whatever conversations they were having to turn their attention to Changbin.
Changbin would be a lot more humiliated about the fact if he was sober; the reality of the situation is that he isn’t. “I have a confession to make,” he states, grabbing the microphone and pulling it out of the stand. “I am in love.”
If there’s anything theatre has taught him, it’s the power of exposition. Immediately, he’s met with whoops of excitement from the crowd at his declaration. Vaguely, he can see that the party inside has stopped, and people are starting to step outside to see what the commotion is about. Felix is one of those people. Changbin’s heart starts to pound loudly against his chest in nervousness, but if anything, it just makes him want to be all the more confident.
“There’s this guy I’ve known for around three years. Absolutely lovable, total idiot,” he explains, walking around the stage. “And I think I loved him from the moment I met him.”
Felix approaches the stage, joining the crowd that has gathered around Changbin like he’s telling a story around a campfire. The younger looks amused at the spectacle, but also somewhat sad. Changbin doesn’t understand why, but he’s determined to change that.
“I’ve been trying to get him to realize that for a while, actually. I’d woo him over with customized fondant messages, handmade gifts, even flowers, but none of them worked. Like I said, he’s kind of an idiot.” That elects a chorus of chuckles from the audience, and Changbin smiles to himself as he continues. In the crowd, Felix’s eyebrows knit together, clearly thinking of something. The alcohol that had initially been fueling his boldness is starting to ebb away, but he continues on with his spiel using pure courage instead, the thought that it’s too late to turn back and he might as well see it through. It’s too late to dwell in any sort of mortification, to backtrack on his decision. “But he’s in this party, in this crowd, right now, so I might as well take advantage of this chance while I can. After all, how many times can you say that someone confessed to you in your last year of high school through making a grand speech at a post-production party?”
(“Since when was Changbin a performer-kind of drunk?” Minho whispers to Chan as they watch the events unfold.
“Well,” Chan says, eyes still trained on Changbin. “He has been in the theater club for four years for a reason.”)
“So, Lee Felix,” Changbin announces. Felix’s jaw drops. “Will you go on a date with me?”
Changbin smoothly jumps off the stage, and Felix continues gaping at him as the crowd parts for the two to meet. “What?”
“Will you go on a date with me?” Changbin repeats patiently, lowering the microphone.
“Hyung, you were—all this time—I didn’t—”
Changbin sets the microphone down on the stage as Felix stammers his way through a reaction. There are people gathered around them, but they’re close enough that only they can hear one another. Changbin doesn’t care about those watching them, his eyes trained on the other expectantly. Even though Felix is clearly embarrassed, either by the audience or the spectacle, his attention is solely focused on Changbin as well. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to realize.”
“Sorry,” Felix says, ducking his head in apology. “And—yes.”
Changbin’s eyes widen. “Yes?”
“I’ve liked you for a while too. Maybe not as long as you though. I don’t know if you were being dramatic though, but I didn’t really think about it that early on,” Felix admits. “But that was why I was so determined to be free of my parents’ deal this year, you know. I wanted you to know before senior year was over.” His shoulders slump. “But I pretty much failed at that.”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that."
Felix frowns. “Why?”
He almost tells Felix that it’s because Hyunjin’s been dating this entire time, but then decides that it’s not his place to say. Instead, he opts to shrug. “Just trust me on this. Hyunjin will explain. So just—let’s enjoy the moment, yeah?”
“Okay.” Felix nods. Then, “Hyung, I really like you.”
Changbin smiles. “I like you too.” He makes a move to grab Felix’s hands, but Felix surprises him by pulling him into a tight hug instead, burying his face in the crook of Changbin’s neck despite being taller. Changbin runs a hand through the other’s hair soothingly, and basks in the moment, the warmth of Felix’s body pressed against his that spreads throughout Changbin’s body and makes him feel lightheaded with contentment. He wants to kiss Felix, but he’ll reserve that for when the crowd has dispersed and it’s just the two of them. Romantic and special, just like how it should be.
(From the audience, Jeongin looks at the two embracing with barely hidden exasperation and tells Seungmin, “And to think I thought that Hyunjin-hyung and Jisung-hyung were the only attention-seeking, dramatic bastards of this club.”)