Work Text:
Excerpt from Interview with Kuroo Tetsurou, professional volleyball player (January 18, 2017)
Interviewer: It’s been so nice to talk to you today. Thanks for sparing some time for this. Just a few more questions left.
Kuroo Tetsurou: I’m always happy to take some time for my fans.
I: Well, aren’t you the charming one? You must always have girls swarming around you.
KT: Yeah, I guess you could say that.
I: Anyone special in your life these days?
KT: Hah. Well, yeah, I guess you could say that too.
I: Ooh, really? Who’s the lucky girl?
KT: H- she’s not exactly a fan of attention, so I think she’d kill me if I were to say anything about her publicly. But, well, she means everything to me. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m completely sure I wouldn’t be here without hi-her.
I: Oh my god, how romantic! Well, folks, you heard it here first - Kuroo Tetsurou is a ladies’ man, but it turns out he only has eyes for one woman! If you were thinking about trying to make a move on him, I have unfortunate news for you.
KT: Sorry to let you all down! Also, baby, if you’re watching this somehow - sorry for putting you on the spot. I can’t wait to see you.
.
K8 @lilykatez 18h
Omg my favorite volleyball player just revealed he has a girlfriend! I’m devastated :(
Ari @lmari 17h
NOOOO Kuroo Tetsurou has a girlfriend?! How dare he… doesn’t he know we’re married already?
P @pipepr 17h
Ok but who do we think the girl is? I havent seen him interact with a lot of girls….
Ki @krtstr 16h
@pipepr I havent seen him post pics with many girls? Idk this came out of nowhere
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 15h
Okay, yes, what I said in the interview was true: I am dating someone. Please respect our privacy. Thank you for your support.
Celeb News 14h
KUROO TETSUROU, PRO VOLLEYBALL PLAYER AND LOCAL HEARTTHROB REVEALS HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND - SPECULATION ON WHO IT COULD BE? POP STARS, MUSICIANS -> READ MORE HERE
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word on the street is that you have a girlfriend
i’m offended that you didn’t tell me
Ah my bad. Thought youd be pissed at me lmao
isn’t it normal to be offended that you’re being cheated on
You shouldve known you were just my mistress anyways
no offense but if i was going to be a mistress for someone i’d pick someone hotter
Ah yes how in the world could that possibly be offensive
And coming from my own boyfriend…
you just called me a mistress
Kenmaaaaaaa
Sweetheart baby love of my life
You know you’ll always be my one and only
yes and now so does the entire world
“she means everything to me”
I thought that hinting that I’m straight would make people less likely to suspect us
Didn’t want to throw you into the spotlight
But I got tired of girls trying to hit on me so I figured it'd be better to set the record straight
people believe you’re straight?
Yes actually
I make a very convincing heterosexual. Just give ‘em that winning smile and talk like I’m super in love with a girl
But actually I’m thinking about you
Today and always
you’re gross
You love me
unfortunately it would seem that way
You’re not actually mad?
no
your logic makes sense (for once)
Must you throw in the for once at the end
You can’t just let me have this
of course not
...7 more days till you come home right?
Yep
Just one more week
I miss you so fucking much
...me too
I think about you all the time
yeah well that’s obvious from your interviews
you waxed poetic for a good five minutes
Only for you ;)
your mistress
You know I could never keep a mistress. I’ll only ever have eyes for you
KENMA
WHY DID YOU TELL YAKU THAT I HAVE A MISTRESS
HE’S YELLING AT ME FOR CHEATING ON YOU
GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT
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“Hi, everyone,” Kenma says to the camera. “In case you lost track of what channel you’re watching, this is Kodzuken. Gonna be playing Outlast 2, I guess, since that seems to be the popular request.” There’s a gentle buzz off screen. Kenma picks up his phone and glances at it, a tiny smile playing at his lips, before he sets it back down on the desk. “I’m still not convinced that this game is as good as the original. But I’ll continue playing regardless.”
Kenma plays the way he always does, with very limited, sparse commentary. There is one other remarkable part about the video, though. About halfway through, Kenma shivers slightly. He glances around, then grabs a hoodie off of the floor and pulls it on. The hoodie is clearly too big for him: the sleeves hang down over his hands, and the hoodie is nearly at his knees. Still, he gives a little smile again, looking contented with the hoodie, before he sits back down. “Got cold. Continuing now,” he says.
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#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 3h
OK LISTEN. THE VIDEO THAT KENMA UPLOADED TODAY… HE WAS SMILING AT HIS PHONE?? ALSO THAT HOODIE DOESNT LOOK LIKE ONE OF HIS… ITS SUPER BIG AND NOT HIS STYLE? IDK SOMETHING COULD BE GOING ON
kodzuken!!! Sara @kdzken 2h
IS KENMA DATING SOMEONE WTF
akari @kenmasknee 2h
HAS OUR KENMA FOUND LOVE
An @kenmakz 2h
Ok not to freak everyone out but. I follow a lot of pro volleyball as well and tbh the hoodie Kenma was wearing really looks like the hoodie pro volleyball player Kuroo Tetsurou was wearing in this interview? [Attached Image]
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 2h
@kenmakz OMG THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE IT….
Rin @rinkens 2h
Newsflash, everyone: two celebrities can own the same hoodie.
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someone tweeted me to ask if i’m wearing your hoodie
What????
How the hell did they manage to piece that one together
I’m mildly impressed
Also what the fuck that IS my hoodie and I don’t recall giving you permission to steal it
it wouldn't be stealing if i'd asked permission first
Kenma
you wore this hoodie a lot last time you were here
so i had to take it
??? what ?? Why did you have to take it?
it’s embarrassing
Whaaat? Just say it already
you’re not allowed to speak of this ever again
but i took it because it smells like you and feels like you
and when you’re on the road it makes me feel like you’re here and i miss you less
there that’s it i’ll deny it if you ever bring it up again
Kenma
what
Oh my god
You’re adorable
I’m so in love with you
You can wear my hoodies any time you want
(Except the black one I really like the black one)
really
that’s the one i was planning on stealing next
NO
ABSOLUTELY NOT
DON’T YOU DARE
I can feel you plotting from all the way over here you DEVIL
no comment
Hey let’s make a deal
Send me a picture of you in the hoodie right now
And you can have the black one and whatever the fuck else you want
....
fine
[Attached Image]
Oh
Oh my GOD
Kenma holy shit you’re going to kill me
You look so good right now
What I would give to be there
you could be
Game tomorrow
I love you I love you I love you
good luck tomorrow
i love you too
What did I do to deserve all these blessings in one night
let me have your black hoodie
We’ll see
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Haiba Lev @haibalev 4h
Hahahaha found some fun pics from the old Nekoma days! Miss you guys! @kodzuken @kurootetsurou @kainobuyuki @yakum @fukunagas @TakeTiger @ShibaInu @InuShiba @teshiro [Attached Images]
An @kenmakz 4h
I DON’T WANNA SAY I WAS RIGHT BUT LOOK AT THIS YOU GUYS - A RANDOM ACCOUNT JUST POSTED PICS OF KUROO AND KENMA AND THEY PLAYED VOLLEYBALL TOGETHER BACK IN THEIR HIGH SCHOOL DAYS!!!
akari @kenmasknee 4h
KENMA PLAYED VOLLEYBALL???????? OMG
ALLI @knmzzzz 3h
Omg I did some research and Kuroo Tetsurou was Nekoma’s captain and Kenma was their main setter….
Mi @kensken 3h
@knmzzzz main setter? really? somehow i can’t imagine him being that good ... and you’d think the main setter for a pro player’s team would be really good
ALLI @knmzzzz 3h
@kenskens definitely main setter! he was actually pretty good from the videos i’ve seen online but i also didn’t really see him as the type to play
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 2h
THEORY TIME: WHAT IF KENMA HAS A BOYFRIEND AND WHAT IT’S KUROO TETSUROU??? THEY CLEARLY KNOW EACH OTHER AND HAVE FOR A WHILE - KENMA’S WEARING KUROO’S HOODIES…
An @kenmakz 2h
For the record Kuroo Tetsurou is famous for an interview back in January where he talked really sappy about his girlfriend! The link is here: … but he definitely stutters a few times, where it sounds like he’s trying not to say he instead of she….
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 2h
@kenmakz OMG!!!!!!
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lev haiba
you are dead to me
KENMA-SAN!!! It’s so good to hear from you!!! I thought you said you were never going to text me!!!
Wait why am I dead to you???
That picture was really cute!!! You look cute!!!
first of all no i do not
second of all my fans are freaking out
OMG!!! Kenma-san has fans!! How popular!!
that’s not the point
they didn’t know that i ever played volleyball
and more importantly they weren’t supposed to know that i know kuroo
WELL WHY NOT? He’s your best friend isn’t he???
he’s not just my best friend, lev
What do you mean? Like super mega best friend?? Ultra deluxe best friend??
oh my god
he’s my boyfriend. okay? we’re dating. and we didn’t want people to find out
??????
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
?!?!??!?!?!??!!
OH MY GOD KENMA-SAN WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT’S SO CUTE I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS ESPECIALLY YOU KENMA-SAN OH MY GOD MY SENPAI ARE IN LOVE
this, lev. this reaction is exactly why i didn’t tell you
BUT KENMA-SAN I’M JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU
CAN I BE THE BEST MAN AT YOUR WEDDING?
absolutely not
...ring bearer?
delete the post.
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Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 3h
Since everyone’s freaking out anyways, I figured I might as well address the rumors head on. Yes, @kurootetsurou and I are acquaintances. We’ve known each other since elementary school. I didn’t talk about it because I don’t talk about anyone I know on my channel. That’s it.
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 3h
What @kodzuken means to say is that I am his beloved best friend and have been for 15 years
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 3h
@kurootetsurou Shut up
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 3h
@kodzuken Whaaaaat? They would’ve found out when the childhood photos somehow leaked
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 3h
@kurootetsurou let’s pray that never happens.
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 3h
@kodzuken Why??? You were such a cute little chubby cheeked kid
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 3h
@kurootetsurou you look exactly the same
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 2h
@kodzuken Awww, Kenma. You flatter me
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 2h
@kurootetsurou you’re annoying.
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 2h
@kodzuken and YET you love me :)
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 2h
@kurootetsurou do not.
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 2h
@kodzuken do too.
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 2h
@kurootetsurou do not.
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 2h
@kodzuken You DEFINITELY do
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you’re being too obvious
I am not
are too
Am not
are too. you’re flirting with me
I can’t help flirting with you, you’re too irresistible
But it’s fine. I’m sure no one will notice
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Worldwide Trends
- #Kuroken
12.9K Tweets
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So that kind of backfired
you’re telling me
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ALLI @knmzzzz 3h
Hey @kodzuken just an idea but you should bring @kurootetsurou on for a video sometime! We’d all love to see you and your best friend interact <3
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 2h
@knmzzzz @kodzuken @kurootetsurou OMG THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD!!! KENMA PLEASE!!!
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou
@kodzukens @knmzzzz @kodzuken You got a point there. Let's make a video, Kenma ;)
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you’re an idiot
Is that a yes?
well now i’m gonna seem like the bad guy if i say no
You don’t have to
I can go back on and say that I was joking or that I don’t have time or whatever you want really
I’ll be the bad guy for you
no it’s fine
we can manage one video
if you can go one video without being completely obvious
Hey!!
Of course I can
I’m a very skilled actor, I’ll have you know
so we’re screwed
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“Welcome to the video,” Kenma says flatly.
“Hey, is that how you usually greet your viewers?” Kuroo asks, nudging Kenma gently. “Shouldn’t you have more enthusiasm?”
“It’s how I greet my viewers when you’re in the video.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, huh? I’m a blessing to your channel.”
“Hm.”
“Anyways, if you didn’t know, my name is Kuroo Tetsurou! Kenma’s best friend of fifteen years now, and professional volleyball player. I’m here for a break and figured I’d visit my best pal for a couple of days so we could do the video you’re all requesting.”
“So I’m just gonna play Mario Party with Kuroo.”
“You’ve probably all noticed that Kenma here is pretty much unbeatable,” Kuroo says in a conspiratorial whisper, “and for most games, that’s true. However, when it comes to Mario Party, it’s me that’s the undefeated champion. Kenma literally cannot beat me at this game.”
“I can too,” Kenma says, folding his arms across his chest and frowning.
“Tell me one time you’ve won.”
“...I’m going to this time.”
Kuroo grins. “Well, I guess we’ll see about that.”
Unfortunately for Kenma, Kuroo wins yet again, claiming victory at the last minute by stealing one of Kenma’s stars. Kenma splutters at him, pink raising in his cheeks as he hisses something under his breath that has Kuroo raising his eyebrows in response. He starts to say something - “Before I leave, there’s something I need to ask you - when you’re less mad of course -” but then the video cuts.
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30 seconds of kuroo tetsurou being completely whipped for kozume kenma
kenmaspie
30.2K Views
Kuroken is together PROOF VIDEO
Kuroken4eva
44.1K Views
An @kenmakz 4h
@kurootetsurou WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO ASK KENMA AT THE END THERE?!
Kuroo Tetsurou @kurootetsurou 3h
@kenmakz What he wanted for dinner. ;)
An @kenmakz 3h
@kurootetsurou THAT WINKY FACE AT THE END IS SUSPICIOUS!!!
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 3h
Omg that video… the way Kuroo looks at Kenma… also I’ve never seen Kenma that energetic before!! When he was arguing with Kuroo... he was so loud!
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hey
i have an idea
i want to mess with my fans
?!?!
I have no idea why everyone thinks I’m evil when it’s actually YOU
Evil in the world’s most beautiful package
kuro don’t be weird
it’s like… everyone suspects it at this point
so i want to drive them crazy and post a picture of my ring
Hahahaha
Okay yeah that’ll be fuckin great
don’t say anything about it
don’t confirm or deny that it’s from you
I can do that
okay
Hey
what
Thanks for saying yes
I love you
why would i not say yes
It’s you
and... i love you too
Oh my god my poor heart
It’s going to EXPLODE
shut up kuro
<3
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Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 3h
<3 [Attached Image]
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 3h
@kodzuken WHAT!?!?!?! IS THAT AN ENGAGEMENT RING OMFG
ALLI @knmzzzz 3h
HOLY SHIT IS KENMA ENGAGED\
Ki @krtstr 3h
WAIT IS KUROO ENGAGED TO KENMA???
Ki @krtstr 3h
@kurootetsurou ARE YOU AND KENMA ENGAGED?!?!
Kuroo Tetsurou 3h
@krtsr What?
An @kenmakz 3h
IS IT NOT KUROO THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
Kozume Kenma @kodzuken 3h
@kenmakz who knows?
An @kenmakz 3h
JGDLKASJLGJAKGS
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Excerpt from Interview with Kuroo Tetsurou, professional volleyball player (January 11, 2018)
Interviewer: Word on the street is that you may or may not be engaged to a famous YouTuber. Uh... Kodzuken, right? Also known as one Kozume Kenma, who is an old friend of yours.
Kuroo Tetsurou: Ha, who really knows?
I: But you are engaged, aren't you?
KT: Yep.
I: To Kenma?
KT: To an unknown entity.
I: Well, uh... Tell me about that, then?
KT: I’m so happy. So much happier than I thought I could ever be. I think about them when I’m away and when I wake up in the morning and when I fall asleep, and I miss them when I’m on the road so much, but I always know that they’ll be there for me to return to. They are my home. My everything. I love h- them so much and cannot wait for them to be my husband. Shit. I mean. My partner.
.
An @kenmakz 3h
HE SAID HUSBAND HE SAID HUSBAND
P @pipepr 3h
Oh my god Kuroo really is marrying Kenma… sad but also so sweet! I’m happy for them
#1 kodzuken fan @kodzukens 2h
IT’S ABOUT KENMA
.
you’re an idiot.
Yeah, but I’m your idiot
Forever
forever.
<3