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(1) John
In all honestly, Dean had expected this. John was notoriously known for showing up at random times and fucking with Dean's emotions.
So when John showed up at the doorstep of Dean and Cas's home at 2:30 in the morning, Dean was not actually surprised. Cas was on a trip, guest lecturing at some fancy college halfway across the country. He'd been gone almost a week and was coming home the next day, so John only had Dean's audience that night.
"Dean." John said, gruff and drunk. "Let your old man in."
Of course, years of abuse had had its toll on Dean, and he was helpless to do anything but move aside so John could stumble in.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" Dean tried to sound assertive, he really did, but John had the miraculous ability of shredding Dean's courage with his mere presence.
"I don't have to fucking answer to you." John slurred in reply. Dean sighed and closed the door, then turned to face John fully. He did not look good, all sicklily pale and sunken eyes. He'd gained a beer belly, and his hair was greasy and matted.
"Can I get you a cup of water?" Dean asked.
"I'm not a fuckin' pansy, I need beer." John grouched.
"There's no alcohol here, Dad." Dean said with a sigh. He and Cas had made the decision to avoid keeping alcohol around the house now that they were trying to have a kid.
"Why the hell not?!" John demanded loudly, standing straightly and staring Dean down. Dean swallowed and looked away.
"We don't want to keep alcohol around our kids." He said.
"Your kids?!"
Dean winced and nodded.
"You have kids?" John was suddenly walking towards the bedrooms, and Dean jumped to block his way. He didn't want John nosing around all Dean and Cas's stuff. John huffed angrily and spun on his heel, then he lumbered to the couch.
"Not yet, but we're trying." Dean replied.
"Still with that alpha, huh?" John asked. He dropped to the couch and looked at Dean expectantly.
"Yeah, I'm still with Cas." Dean said.
"Hasn't left your sorry ass?"
"Nope." Dean replied tightly.
"Fucking miracle." John grumbled. Dean silently agreed, but he said nothing. "Where's he now?"
"Business trip." Dean answered, and John snorted.
"That's what they always say, Dean." He said. "You shouldn't be with a man who has 'business trips.' "
"Dad, he's not like that." Dean sighed. "He's a really great guy."
"Then why the fuck are you with him?" John asked. "Why the fuck are you doing this at all? Does he know you're a slut?"
"I'm not a slut." Dean said, stomach churning.
"Sure, alright." John scoffed. "You've always been the love 'em and leave 'em type, Dean. It's in your genes. I'd be proud if you weren't a queer." There was so much wrong with John's words, and Dean had neither the time nor the energy to go through it all.
"Dad, I love Cas. I don't plan on moving on from him." Dean explained quietly.
"You're just lyin' to yourself, son." John said. "S'only a matter of time until you fuck up or somethin' and he leaves you and you go back to your ways."
"Thanks for the vote of courage." Dean said, crossing his arms. He ignored the bitter feeling twisting in his chest.
"I'm not here to hold your hand, I'm here to give you the truth." John snapped.
"That's why you came here?" Dean asked drily. "To tell me my life is a lie?"
"Came here to check on you." John said. "Someone needs to make sure you're not being a fuckup. Good thing I came, too. Obviously you're not in your right frame of mind."
"Dad, I'm perfectly fine right here." Dean said, growing angry. "I'm happy."
"For now." John said, pushing himself into a stand. "When you call me crying and saying you two are done, I'll just tell you that I told you so. See you later, son."
And with that, the mighty John Winchester was stumbling out of the house and slamming the door behind him. Dean thought he should probably stop him from driving, but in all honestly he was too tired to care. John's words didn't hurt him, they didn't. Dean had gone to therapy for years so this shit wouldn't affect him anymore.
He returned to bed and pulled Cas's pillow close to his chest, breathing in the alpha's scent. It alleviated the heaviness settling inside him, but he was still awake for a long time that night.
Cas came home the next day. He took one whiff of their living room and then pulled Dean into another hug. John's drunken scent stained the couch. Cas tenderly pulled Dean to their room and urged Dean into bed. Then Cas changed into softer clothes and snuggled into Dean. He didn't say anything, only pressed kisses onto Dean's neck, still bare of the mating mark. For now.
Cas didn't say a word when Dean started sobbing silently, he only hugged him tighter.
"I love you." Cas said softly. Dean knew, of course, that Cas was too good for him. Cas was beautiful and kind and amazing, and what was Dean? Nothing.
"Love you." Dean managed to say between sobs. "I love you."
"What do you need?" Cas asked, nuzzling against Dean. What did he need?
Obviously, he needed Cas.
"Mark me." Dean whispered. "Give me your mating mark."
"No." Cas said, and Dean's heart just about shattered.
"Not yet." Cas quickly amended, likely scenting Dean's despair. "But not because I don't want to, Dean. Because you deserve it to be done perfectly. You deserve to be cared for and pampered leading up to it, so that when I finally give you my mark, there's no doubt in your mind that I love you with my entire being."
Dean squirmed in Cas's hold until he was facing his mate, then he drew him into a kiss. Dean ducked his head under Cas's chin and pressed against his chest. Cas's arms wrapped around Dean protectively and Dean purred.
"I don't deserve you." Dean whined.
"You deserve the world, Dean Winchester, and I will do my best to give it to you."
Dean let out a whimper and Cas kissed his head.
"Someday you'll see, Dean." Cas said. "You're perfect and I love you."
There was something tight in Dean's chest that didn't falter under Cas's words, but Dean ignored it and let Cas lure him to sleep.
* * * * *
(2) Gabe
Dean liked Gabe. He was hesitant at first since Gabe was so... Gabe. But the beta turned out to be a pretty decent guy, and he seemed to like Dean. Cas and Dean had lunch with Gabe weekly, and Dean enjoyed that time.
They were together for lunch, a few weeks after John's untimely visit, and Cas excused himself to the bathroom. Dean watched him leave, shamelessly checking out his boyfriend's ass. When he turned back to Gabe, he found the beta frowning at Dean.
"What's up?" Dean asked, confused.
"We need to have a talk." Gabe said seriously, and Dean grew worried. It sounded important.
"What's wrong, man?" He asked, concerned. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm going to be blunt with you. Cassie isn't the one for casual romances." Gabe said, and Dean felt his jaw go slack.
"What do you mean?" He asked, throat tightening. Gabe gave him a stern look, as if Dean should know exactly what he meant.
"I mean that it's not fair of you to lead Castiel on like this." Gabe said. Dean stared at him. He and Cas didn't really broadcast how in love they were, but Dean had assumed their friends knew they were serious. They were trying for a pup, for fuck's sake (not that any of them knew about that).
"I'm not leading Cas on." Dean said, frowning. "I would never."
"That's what you said about Lisa." Gabe said, and Dean looked away in shame. He truly hadn't meant to lead Lisa on. He really did love her and he would've mated her, he just wanted more time, time that Lisa wasn't willing to give up. Their breakup was rather mutual in the end, but Dean still felt guilty.
"That was different." Dean protested, though it sounded weak to his own ears. "I swear, I'm not leading Cas on."
Gabe only observed Dean cooly, and Dean fidgeted. He couldn't be offended, not really. Gabe was Cas's big brother, after all. The shovel talk had to come at some point.
"If you hurt him, they will never find your body." Gabe said, completely serious, and Dean gulped.
"I won't." He promised.
"Whatever, Deano, I'm just letting you know." Gabe said. Anything else that might've been said was cut off by Cas's return. His smile faded when he sensed the tense atmosphere, and he looked to Dean questioningly. Dean tried to smile, though it must've been more of a grimace because Cas frowned as he sat next to Dean.
"Welcome back, Cassie." Gabe said cheerfully. "Where were we?" The conversation continued as it had before Cas had left. Dean tried to be involved, he really did, but his stomach still clenched on nothing.
You're being ridiculous.
Cas was concerned. He kept sending Dean looks that Dean caught out of the corner of his eye, but Dean didn't say anything.
He wasn't planning on telling Cas anything that Gabe had said, but Cas had rounded on him as soon as they had gotten home and had asked in a soft, soothing voice what had happened, and Dean couldn't keep anything from him. Cas had looked mildly upset, but Dean assured him it was fine. It was. Castiel obviously didn't believe Dean, but he didn't push. If Dean was extra clingy for the rest of the day, neither of them mentioned it.
The tightness in his chest twisted further.
* * * * *
(3) Charlie
Dean was, truthfully, shocked when Charlie said something. They were watching Star Wars one Saturday night, when she brought it up.
"You know, Dean," she said casually, "I'm kinda surprised you and Cas are still a thing."
"What?" Dean asked, shocked. He paused the movie and stared at her, certain he had misheard her.
"I just didn't expect it to go on for so long." Charlie shrugged. "I mean, I know how you are."
"How I am?" Dean asked faintly, stomach sinking.
"C'mon, don't act like you don't know what you do." Charlie said with a roll of her eyes. "You're the noncommittal type, just there for the fun."
"Charlie, what the hell?" Dean shifted so his body faced her completely. "What do you think I'm doing with Cas?"
"I don't know." Charlie said. "Hooking up? I mean you were after him for the longest time, and when you finally got your shit together you were over the moon. I thought you'd get bored sooner, though, that's why I'm surprised. I mean, four years ought to be a some kind of record for you." Four years was a record, technically.
"Get bored?" Dean repeated. "You thought I'd get bored of Cas?"
"I expected you to." Charlie said. "We had a bet, to be honest, about how long you'd last in a 'relationship.' Benny won."
Dean was absolutely horrified.
"I'm not casually dating him!" He said. "We're serious! Like, really serious!"
Charlie raised a disbelieving eyebrow.
"Since when does Dean Winchester do serious?" She asked.
"Since four fucking years ago!" Dean exclaimed, hurt making itself known in his tone. "This whole time you thought we were, what, friends with benefits?"
"Yeah." Charlie said, eyeing him now. "You're not though?"
"No!" Dean said fiercely. "I love him!" Charlie's eyes widened significantly.
"What the fuck?!" She said. "You do?"
"Yes!" Dean said. "Fuck, yes!"
"Wow." Charlie breathed. "I had no idea. That's pretty huge."
Dean stared at her, feeling miserable.
"In that case, don't mess this up, Winchester." Charlie said. "Cas is a really nice guy, and I'm going to have to kick your ass if you hurt him." Dean felt sick.
"I won't." He said quietly. "I swear, I won't."
"Great." Charlie said, smiling brightly and apparently oblivious to Dean's building sorrow. She leaned over to grab the remote and start the movie again. Dean stared at the screen blankly.
He supposed it made sense that Charlie, Gabe, and John all assumed he was casually dating Cas. Dean didn't have a very good record when it came to relationships.
Still, Dean couldn't help but feel a bit despondent for the rest of the night.
"What happened?" Cas asked when Dean got home at nearly two in the morning.
"Nothing really." Dean said. "Charlie didn't know we were together, like, together together. It kinda took me by surprise."
"What did she think we were?" Cas asked.
"Friends with benefits or something." Dean said. "But I explained it to her and she gave me the shovel talk and we're all good now."
"She gave you the talk too?" Cas asked, frowning. "Why haven't they given me the talk? It seems a bit biased."
"I have a history of sucking at relationships." Dean shrugged.
"It's still rude to assume that you'd be the one hurting my feelings and to not think that I'd hurt you." Cas said. "Not that I ever would hurt you."
"I know, Cas." Dean said, smiling softly. "I can't believe she didn't realize we're serious, though. I mean, we're trying for a pup!" At that, Cas's eyes darkened and he stepped towards Dean purposefully.
"I suppose now would be an excellent time to keep trying." He said, voice low. Dean shivered and nodded. He forget about Charlie rather quickly after that.
In the morning, though, Dean could still feel the curl of unease building and twisting.
* * * * *
(4) Bobby
"Dean! Get yer ass in here!"
Dean moved from where he'd been working under a car and pushed himself up. Benny shot him a questioning look, but Dean only shrugged. He made his way to his pseudo-uncle's office.
"Yeah, Bobby?" Dean asked. "Need something?" Bobby fixed him with a look that Dean knew meant trouble.
"How come I had to hear from Ellen that you 'n Cas are a serious couple?" Bobby demanded. Dean winced.
Not this again.
"I thought you knew." Dean explained.
"I did not know." Bobby replied. "I heard from Ellen, who heard from Jo, who heard from Charlie. Of course, I had to make sure it was true."
"What do you mean?" Dean asked.
"Just that you're not the one to enter serious relationships." Bobby said.
"I was serious with Lisa." Dean said defensively.
"Yeah, and you left her when it started getting too serious." Bobby said.
"I did not leave her, it was mutual." Dean argued bitterly.
"Sure." Bobby said. "You better not be messin' with that boy's feelings, Dean. Cas's a good fellow, and he doesn't need your bullshit."
Now, Bobby had never been one to beat around the bush, and he clearly stood for that "tough love" shit. But even this seemed rather mean to Dean.
"Why does everyone assume that I'm going to be a douche?" He asked angrily. Bobby only stared at him with a raised eyebrow, and Dean wilted.
"Just, don't hurt him. Otherwise you're going to have to answer to me and Ellen." Bobby said.
"I get it, Bobby." Dean mumbled, ducking his head and ignoring the knot forming in his belly.
"Good." Bobby said. "Now get back out there, ya idjit." Dean obedient left the office. Benny caught his and sent him a sympathetic look.
"For the record, I don't think you're going to fuck up." He said, and Dean was surprised by how much hope that gave him.
"You don't?" He asked, voice lifting. Benny shook his head and crossed over to pat Dean's back.
"Nah, brother. It's obvious how much you love him. He's the one I worried about."
That was very refreshing to hear. Of course, Dean didn't want Benny to think Cas was going to be an ass or anything, but still, it was nice that not everyone thought he'd be the problem in their relationship.
"Thanks, man, that's good to hear." Dean said genuinely.
"No problem, cher." Benny said. "Anytime."
The twine of hurt in Dean's chest still wrapped around and squeezed, but felt a little looser after Benny's words.
* * * * *
(5) Sam
"Dean, can we talk?" Sam's concerned voice broke through Dean's concentration, and he glanced up from the stove. He and Cas were hosting dinner that night to announce their soon-to-be mating, and Sam had arrived a little early so Dean was still cooking.
"Sure, dude." Dean said. "As long as you don't mind that I'm cooking." Sam crossed further into the kitchen and glanced around, as if to make sure they were alone.
"It's fine. I wanted to talk about you and Cas."
Not you too, Sammy.
"What about us?" Dean asked guardedly. Sam sighed and looked away, his alpha pheromones radiating unease.
"It's just that," Sam hesitated, "I think this is going a little too far."
Dean was careful to keep his expression and scent neutral. "What do you mean?"
An agitated look crossed Sam's features.
"Dean, I know what you're doing." He said. "It's gotta stop."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Dean said tightly, staring down at the pot of pasta.
"You need to call it off with Cas." Sam said.
"Why the hell would I do that?" Dean demanded, eyes still intent on the pasta.
"Because Cas doesn't deserve to be used by you. I know you like the stability and support, Dean, but Cas fucking loves you. It's cruel to keep stringing him along."
"You don't think I'm committed to him?" Dean asked quietly.
"I think you pretend you're committed to him." Sam said. "But you do this. You like to be all happy with the stability, and when it starts to become real you freak out and leave. It's fine if you have commitment issues, or whatever, but don't fuck with Cas's feelings. C'mon, man, you've got to admit this has been kind of extreme, even for you."
The pasta blurred beneath Dean's vision.
"So you're saying, that even after four years, it's more likely that I'm playing with Cas than that I, what, actually care for him?"
Dean heard Sam shift uncomfortably.
"I don't doubt that you care about him, and I don't think you mean to play with him." Sam said. "But you are. I didn't want to say anything before, even when you guys moved in together last year, because I thought you'd realize the pattern, but you haven't. Or you have, and you just don't care. I mean, Lisa didn't deserve that, and Cas definitely doesn't deserve it.
"Dean, you're my brother, and I love you. But, Cas is my friend, and I don't want to watch him get hurt."
My own brother.
Dean's shoulders shook.
"Shit, are you crying?" Sam's footsteps sounded closer to Dean, but before he could say any more, the front door opened Cas's honey scent entered the house.
"I'm home, and I've got the wine!" Cas called, his voice getting louder as he approached the kitchen. "You should've seen the selection of honey they had, all locally made, too. It was amazing and I - Dean?"
Dean felt Cas's arms wrap around him and gently turn him so he faced Cas and Sam. Sam looked helpless and confused, Cas looked worried.
"What's wrong, beloved?" Cas asked softly, hand stroking comfortingly through Dean's hair.
"They all think that I'm going to fuck it up." Dean whimpered, burying his head against Cas's chest. "They think I'm some sort of dick that's leading you on, and that I'm going to hurt you. They don't think I'm committed you."
"Who, sweetheart?"
"All of them!" Dean cried, waving his hand in Sam's direction. "They think I'm playing with you, that I don't actually love you." He felt Cas stiffen.
"What did you say to him?" Cas demanded, tone angry and alpha.
"I just thought that he was leading you on." Sam answered falteringly. "Like with Lisa, and I didn't want you to get hurt."
"Dean did not lead Lisa on." Cas growled. "He would've been her mate, but she didn't want to wait for him."
If Dean had been hurting less, he would've admired Cas for saying that, because he knew that Lisa was a sore spot for Cas and that the alpha didn't like to think about her.
"I'm sure Dean has explained that to you hundreds of times." Cas continued.
"Well, yeah, but Dean isn't the serious type." Sam said faintly.
"Clearly you are mistaken." Cas snarled. "Dean has been nothing but devoted and loving, and I am tired of all of you questioning how genuine he is and making him doubt himself! Enough of this! When the rest of the guests arrive, we will be discussing this offensive manner."
Dean leaned into Cas more and breathed deeply, taking comfort in the alpha's scent.
"Dean, honey, would you like to lay down until the guests arrive?"
Dean nodded, too choked for words, and Cas easily lifted him in a bridal hold and took him to their room. He put Dean down gently on the bed.
"I'll deal with everything, love." Cas said, pressing a kiss to Dean's forehead.
"I don't deserve you." Dean whined, and Cas looked so heartbroken.
"That's not true, Dean." He said. "It was terrible of them to make you think you're going to mess up and hurt me." He pressed another kiss to Dean's lips and then moved away. Dean whined again and reached for him.
"Don't worry, omega." Cas soothed. "I'll be back soon." He left the door slightly ajar and Dean could hear him talking to Sam. A few moment later, Sam was hesitantly coming into the room, and Dean pushed himself up into a sitting position.
"I'm sorry, De." Sam said quietly. He sounded and smelled ashamed.
"S'okay." Dean muttered. "You had no way to know."
"I did, though." Sam said. "It's clear that you care for him, I just didn't stop to think that that really meant anything. I was an ass."
Dean didn't say anything. He only stared down at his hands.
"You really love him, huh?" Sam asked, crossing over.
"Yeah." Dean said. "We're going to mate. That's why we're having dinner. Gonna tell everyone we're mates-to-be."
"Shit, really?" Sam asked. Dean nodded.
"Fuck, I'm really sorry, man." Sam said. "I shouldn't have assumed anything."
"I would've done the same." Dean said. Sam slowly came to sit down on the bed next to Dean. "We're trying for a pup, you know."
"You are?" Sam gasped, eyes going wide.
"Yup. You up to being an uncle?"
"Hell, yeah." Sam said. "I can't believe I didn't realize how serious you guys are. I mean, pups! Fuck, I'm a jackass."
"Don't worry about it, dude." Dean said. "You can make it up to me with free babysitting."
"Of course, Dean." Sam said. "Hell, whenever you want."
"Don't make that promise too easily." Dean said, smirking. The tight coil in his chest started to unravel, and he let out a breath of relief.
* * * * *
(+1) Cas
Everyone arrived around half an hour after Dean's breakdown, so he had had time to regain his composure and finish cooking. Bless Cas for trying, but the alpha was most definitely not a chef.
Cas chatted with everyone as Dean started to bring out the food. Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Kevin, Gabe, and Benny and Andrea all showed up. Garth and Bess were the only ones who were unable to, but they had three pups so they were easily excused. Cas got everyone seated, and Dean sat next to him.
"Before we eat, I'd like to say something." Cas said, and everyone looked to him expectantly. Dean caught the look in his expression and felt his heart jump.
"Cas," he said quietly, "you really don't have to-"
"I do, Dean." Cas said firmly. "This has gone on for long enough." Dean swallowed, affection heating his stomach and cheeks. Everyone watched their exchange, more curious now. Well, besides Sam, who looked shamed.
"It has come to my attention that the majority of you have been behaving rather rudely towards Dean."
"What?" Bobby demanded, a cross look coming over his features. "What the hell do you mean?"
"I mean to say that, on four separate occasions, four of you have felt the need to approach Dean and rebuke him for playing with my feelings or warn him not to hurt me or mess up. I find this very offensive on Dean's behalf. He may not find it necessary to speak of this, but I certainly do." The room suddenly felt tense and awkward, and Dean looked down at the table.
"Dean has been nothing but good to me, and I do not appreciate the fact that he has been told multiple times that he should stop seeing me because he is leading me on."
"I didn't mean to offend him, Cassie, I just thought that he needed to know he shouldn't fuck with you." Gabe said, and Cas narrowed his gaze on the beta.
"I understand that you are my older brother, and it is your 'duty' to be protective of me, but what you said was still thoughtless and mean. You can not compare Dean's and my relationship to his and Lisa's, especially when the details of their relationship are not completely known to you. For the record, Dean was not offended by what you said. He was understanding since you are my brother, but I am offended. Furthermore, why do you all assume that the problem of the relationship would be Dean?" He leveled a glare at everyone, and even Bobby looked properly abashed. "It is true that Dean has been involved in several casual relationships, but they were just that, casual. You cannot assume that Dean would act the same way in a serious relationship as he would a casual one. Some of you thought our relationship was causal, too, which I find completely shocking seeing as we have been together for four years and living for one of those. Whatever happened with Dean and Lisa is between them only, and it should not be used as evidence that Dean is going to do me wrong. He did not dump Lisa, anyways. It was mutual, as Dean has said several times. The fact that he wasn't believed only angers me more.
"Perhaps you meant well, but your talks with Dean have only pushed him to doubt himself and his worth in our relationship. By assuming he would be the one to mess up and break my heart, you have only convinced him that there is something inherently wrong with him and that he will mess up, and I will not stand for that. None of you approached me with the concern that I might hurt him, despite the fact that I have been involved in a few messy relationships myself. You are his closest friends and family, you should be encouraging Dean rather than warning him. If you cannot be supportive of Dean, then you are not worthy of him." Castiel finished his speech with a glare. Dean looked around the room apprehensively, wondering how they would take it. Gabriel surprised him by being the first to speak.
"Sorry, Deano." Gabe said. "That wasn't cool of me."
"Yeah, Dean, I was kind of a bitch." Charlie agreed, looking sheepish. "You're a great dude, and Cas is lucky to have you."
"Damn straight." Bobby agreed, crossing his arms. The tightness in Dean's chest seemed to dissolve, and he felt himself relaxing.
"Thanks." He said, looking bashfully to Cas. Cas only smiled and kissed Dean.
"Anyways, the reason that we've invited you here tonight is to announce that we will very soon be mating officially." Cas said, eyes shining. Dean flushed at the cheer that went up. 'Congratulations' were heard around the table.
"Are you going to have a ceremony?" Ellen asked.
"Probably not." Dean admitted, and Gabe hooted.
"Leave them alone, Gabe." Sam said, but he was grinning too. "That's really great, guys."
"You two deserve each other." Jo said with a decisive nod, and Dean's chest grew warm. Castiel grasped Dean's hand under the table and squeezed it lovingly. Dean smiled at him. Any doubts were finally gone.
Dean and Castiel were mated one month later, and ten months after that, Mary Samantha Winchester-Novak was born. She had dark brown hair, beautiful green eyes, and dimples to die for. Dean took one look at her and was in love. He cradled his pup close to his chest while Cas squeezed onto the hospital bed with him. Cas's arms wrapped protectively around the pair, and Dean leaned back into his mate's embrace, purring loudly.
His daughter, like his life, was absolutely perfect.