Work Text:
Blaine Anderson is fifteen years old. His entire young life has been spent pursuing the image of the ideal son his father demanded. He excels in the fancy prep school his parents send him to. Perfect grades, Jr. lacrosse team captain in his freshman year, second lead in the Dalton Academy Warblers glee club before the end of the year. Blaine loves Dalton.
And, he discovers, he loves other boys.
The summer after his sophomore year, Blaine gets a spot playing second base on a traveling baseball team. They don’t travel very far, but they go to other cities in Ohio and play local tournaments, and Blaine loves the camaraderie on the team almost as much as he loves singing with the Warblers. Blaine is a good player, and the team wins a lot. None of their teammates care about him and Kyle - Kyle is the catcher and the team Captain - and Blaine is completely smitten with him. He’s taller than Blaine and sandy haired; he looks like he’d be a surfer if there were any waves in central Ohio. After one trip his dad catches him and Kyle kissing goodbye behind the team bus. Mr. Anderson takes Blaine home and beats him for the first time, but not the last.
Blaine keeps seeing Kyle despite his dad’s warnings, and his dad pulls him from the team. The coaches all try to convince him to change his mind, but it doesn’t work. And the beatings don't stop. His dad tells Blaine that he'll stop when Blaine stops being 'like that.' Blaine tells him to fuck off because he can’t do anything else. His mother does nothing to stop it and Blaine isn’t sure if she even knows it’s happening. He doesn’t tell her. Blaine can’t wait for school to start.
A few days before Blaine is scheduled to go back to Dalton for his junior year (back to safety, and the only thing keeping him sane) his dad opens his bedroom door without knocking. Blaine is packing his things to go back to school. He hands Blaine an average sized backpack, capable of holding a few schoolbooks and lunch. Maybe.
"Put everything you need to take in here and meet me downstairs in ten minutes."
Blaine stares at the doorway as his father walks away. Blaine's mom is visiting her sister for the weekend. He has a bad feeling about this.
He fills the bag with clean underwear and a few shirts. A pair of jeans. It doesn't fit much more. He takes the money he'd been saving from mowing lawns and cleaning Mrs. Taylor's yard all summer. It's a few hundred dollars. He shoves his iPod and phone into the bag and walks down the stairs.
Blaine gets into the car with his dad, who says nothing; he just starts the car and drives. It only takes Blaine about thirty minutes to realize they aren't driving toward Dalton. He clears his throat with a cough. "I don't think the dorms are open until Monday." He's answered with silence. “Are we taking a detour?”
His dad doesn't say anything until he pulls up in front of the bus station. "Your phone."
"What?" Blaine just stares. He either doesn't understand or can't believe what's happening. He's not sure.
"It doesn't work anymore. You won't need it."
His throat feels like glass and his hands shake as he unzips a small pocket to retrieve his phone. He holds it out and his father takes it.
"You can get out now."
Blaine is frozen. He hugs the backpack on his lap.
"Dad?" His voice cracks and he realizes he’s already crying. His dad doesn't say anything, he just flicks open the automatic locks.
Blaine sobs and opens the door, tripping on the curb as he gets out. He tries again. "Dad? Please?"
"You had your chance." John Anderson leans over, pulls the door shut, and drives away. Blaine thinks he’s going to throw up.
Blaine spends ten minutes crying and hugging his backpack before he pulls himself together. He has to do something, find somewhere to go. He finds a pay phone inside the bus station and tries to remember any phone number, but all the numbers he needs are programmed into his phone and he doesn't know them. The only number he knows is his home number and he can't call there. He tries to call directory assistance to track down his aunt's number, but he can't remember the street name and then he gets cut off. He tries three more times before giving up.
He finds a corner and sits; tears he no longer notices are still streaming down his face. His brother, Cooper, is off 'finding himself' in Prague, and Blaine has no idea how he would find him. He wonders if he could call Kyle, but his parents would probably just call his dad. So would Dalton, if he could even get someone on the phone. Any of his friends would just tell their parents and they would tell his dad. There was no one he could call.
He's still sniffling when he hears someone at the ticket window buy a bus ticket to Columbus. It's only a couple of hours away. He has $278 dollars and the one way ticket cost $18. He buys it. He has no idea what he’ll do in Columbus, but it’ll be far away from his dad, and right now that’s all he can think about.
It's a beautiful August day. Warm and sunny. Blaine stares out the window of the bus as it takes him away and wonders how he will get through the winter; he didn't think to bring a coat.
--
The first couple of weeks are the worst for Blaine. He spends the first night in the bus station, not sleeping but still too scared to know what to do next, thankful that no one throws him out. He knows that if he goes to any authorities for help they’ll just send him back home to his father, and he knows he can never go back there. He can hardly imagine that his father even regrets abandoning him at the bus station. Blaine is just going to have to put that life behind him. He needs to find some place to stay, and some way to earn money. He won’t even be sixteen for another two months.
During the day Blaine walks to keep his mind off of everything. If he’s walking then he can pretend that he’s on his way somewhere, instead of just wandering, and it keeps him from being too scared. One of those anywhere’s could even be home (as if he’d ever go back there). He walks all over Columbus, figuring out where he is, and getting himself acclimated. He looks for places that seem safe to sleep, that offer some shelter when he needs it (he’s going to need it). He saves his money for food and sleeps in alleys and behind buildings. He stays away from the places popular with other homeless people because they seem scary to him and he’s so small. He worries for his safety. Then he realizes that he just referred to himself in his head as a homeless person and he has to sit down and cry again. Some days all he does is cry.
Blaine notes where all of the soup kitchens and shelters are, in case he ever needs one. One day he walks a church with a line in front, and a sign that says that today they are serving free meals to the hungry. There are mostly single men in the line, but a few families with children, so he gets in line behind a woman with two small children.
Once inside, Blaine fills a plate with potatoes and chicken and what looks like canned green beans, and finds a table with the family he had stood in line behind earlier. There are a few empty chairs so he sits. After a while a woman with a name tag that says ‘Betsy’ sits down next to him. She looks to be in her forties, but Blaine was never good at that sort of thing.
“Hi,” she says brightly. “How is everyone doing?” Blaine shrugs without saying anything.
“We’ve had better days,” the other woman says as one of the kids crawls into her lap.
“Are you still in your home?” Betsy asks.
The woman nods. “Yeah we’re okay for now. My ex disappeared and my work is only part time, when the girls are in school.”
Betsy nods and turns to Blaine. “And what’s your name?”
Blaine freezes, he doesn’t want to tell her. He clears his throat. “Blaine.” It comes out quiet.
“Hi Blaine, I’m Betsy.” She points to her name tag. “Are you in school too?” Blaine shakes his head and tries not to think about Dalton. “How old are you?”
Blaine lies. “I just turned sixteen.”
“Sixteen?” Betsy turns to the other woman. “He should be in school too.” The woman looks confused for a minute, looking between Blaine and Betsy. Blaine swallows.
“Oh! He’s not mine.” The woman says. She smiles apologetically.
Betsy looks at Blaine. “Oh, I see. Blaine do you live around here?” Blaine doesn’t say anything, he just looks at the table. “Blaine, honey, did you run away from home?”
He knows the answer to that one. He still can’t look at Betsy, but he shakes his head.
“Do you have parents Blaine?”
Blaine swallows, hard. He wonders what his mother is doing, if she misses him. “They threw me out.” He hears Betsy sigh and stand up.
“Stay here sweetie, I’m going to get some information and we’ll see if we can get you taken care of.”
The woman with the children looks at him, obviously concerned, but Blaine panics. “I can’t go back,” he says, before picking up his plate and leaving through the first door he can find.
--
Blaine is wandering around downtown when he passes a Planet Fitness gym. Remembering that his aunt bought him a lifetime membership for his birthday last year, he digs in his wallet, thumbing through all of the identification he doesn’t need anymore, and finds his membership card. It takes him a solid hour of walking back and forth in front of the gym before he works up the nerve, but when he swipes in no one looks at him twice. He doesn’t think he’s had a bath in anything bigger than a Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom in three weeks, but maybe he doesn’t look (or smell) as entirely awful as he feels.
There’s a sign over the information desk that says “Thursday is Bagel day! All Day!” and a table to the right with a plate full of bagels and butter and cream cheese and peanut butter. Blaine resists the urge to grab one right there, and instead heads toward the locker room
The gym is pretty empty, and Blaine figures most people are probably at work. There’s no one in the locker room, so Blaine chooses a locker in the far corner and sits on the bench in front of it.
He isn’t sure he should be there. Certainly someone is going to notice him soon and throw him out on the street, or call his parents, or something worse. But Blaine sits there for ten minutes and nothing happens, no one ever comes into the locker room. Eventually the draw of a hot shower is too much, so he shoves his backpack and everything in it into a locker, strips down to his underwear and a t-shirt, and grabs a clean towel off of the rack by the showers.
He doesn’t have any soap or shampoo or anything, but there’s a shelf with sample packets so he takes some and spends entirely too long in the shower. He washes himself everywhere four times, sure that the smell he’s cultivated will never go away. When he hears other people moving around outside the shower stall, he thinks it’s probably time to get out. He wraps the towel around his waist and heads to his locker, and no one so much as looks at him twice and he wonders why. He should obviously be in school.
Blaine doesn’t want to leave the gym. It’s something normal in a world where normal doesn;t really exist for him. He wants to drown in the feeling. Blaine has sweatpants in his bag that aren’t too smelly, so he puts his dirty t-shirt and underwear back on and pulls on the sweats, followed by the cleanest socks he has and his now beat up sneakers.
The gym is large, and there are only about six people using various pieces of equipment, so he wanders over to an empty mat and tries to work through some of his stretches from baseball practice. When he feels warmed up and less awkward, he works through some free weight reps, getting into a familiar rhythm. He was never as much of a gym rat as his teammates but he worked out regularly to keep from getting hurt while he played.
Two hours pass before Blaine even notices, and he starts to panic again that someone will notice him and make him leave, but when he looks around the few people working out aren’t paying any attention to him at all.
It’s easy to make it a regular stop on his trips around the city. First twice a week, and when everyone gets used to seeing him there, nodding as he comes and goes, he starts going every day. It’s warm, they have bagel Thursday and pizza Monday, and no one questions his being there.
--
The first time it happens Blaine is a month into living on the street. He’s managing, but the little money he had is basically gone. He’s wary of the shelters, but between pizza and bagel days at the gym, and the amount of food he’s managed to scavenge from behind the local grocery stores, he’s not starving. Still he worries every day about the next one.
One night Blaine is looking for dropped money or wallets in the parking lot of a popular bar when a skinny guy leaning against a car and smoking a cigarette says something to him as he walks by. Blaine’s politeness gets the better of him.
“Excuse me?”
The guy drops his cigarette on the ground and toes it. “How much?”
Blaine shakes his head, confused. “How much? For what?”
The guy pushes off the car. “Whatever. Hand, mouth, both work.”
It takes Blaine another second to catch up, and when he does he feels his eyes open wider. Other than dry humping in the back of Kyle’s car when they were making out Blaine has never touched another guy. He needs the money. He’s only fifteen.
“Twenty,” he says. “Hand job.” He’s shaking so hard he has to bite his tongue.
“Twenty!?” The guy practically spits.
Blaine is too terrified to haggle, so he shrugs and starts to walk away, trying to hide his panic. He hears the guy huff behind him, and Blaine wants to get away fast in case he tries to force something.
“Ten,” he hears. “I’ll give you ten bucks.” Blaine stops, breathing through the shock of what he’s agreed to do before he turns around. The guy follows him over to a darker corner of the parking lot, behind a green SUV. He has no idea why he notices the color. Blaine doesn’t know if he’s supposed to go first, or what, but the guy takes the guesswork out of it when he pops the button on his jeans and unzips his pants. He even pulls his cock so it’s half out of his underwear.
Blaine starts to panic. “Uh, money first.” The guy frowns, but takes $10 out of his pocket and hands it to Blaine. He pockets it.
He has no idea if he’s supposed to pretend to like it, or if he should say anything, but the guy doesn’t seem to care and just closes his eyes and leans his head back against the car as Blaine wraps a hand around his cock and starts to jerk him off. He wants to hate it, so he does. It’s awkward and he’s never jerked anyone off other than himself, but he can’t deny that at first the idea of touching another man’s cock gives him a little thrill, even as what he’s doing horrifies him.
It’s over in a few minutes. The guy thanks him and tells Blaine he’s a pretty one, and Blaine mumbles thanks and walks away, out of the parking lot, not sure where to wipe his hand. When he’s far enough out of earshot Blaine drops to his knees and throws up on the grass.
--
It gets easier. He learns to put on eyeliner and he has better luck, if you can call it that. There seems to be no shortage of men looking to get off with a pretty teenage boy, and Blaine is both. He spends a few nights hanging around outside one of Columbus’ two gay bars, and while he finds the men eager, they don't need to pay $10 for a hand job. He learns that straight guys will pay to cover their guilt, so he spends his time elsewhere. Hand jobs are fast and Blaine is young and good looking, and some nights he has five or six customers. He lives outside through the end of October, moving around a lot. He doesn’t want anyone to notice him, so he doesn’t stay in the same place more than two nights in a row, but he doesn’t travel too far away from the bars where he knows he can make money. He stops in a church run soup kitchen one day when it’s raining, and a priest there offers him fifty dollars to go into the confessional and pull his pants down while the priest masturbates on the other side of the wall. Blaine goes back there every other week for a meal and the cash. He knows he should be worrying about what he’s going to do for shelter when it gets colder, but for now he’s been able to sleep behind buildings and under freeway overpasses without too much trouble. Spending a few hours a day at the gym helps.
Blaine earns a fair amount of money and becomes less worried about where his next meal will come from, so he decides that he's not being irresponsible when he visits a thrift shop and spends money on some warmer clothes and a warmer coat. He can't buy much because he has to carry everything he owns on his back, but he finds a bigger backpack and somehow manages to fit everything in it. He doesn’t have much, but the idea of leaving any of his belongings behind is distressing, so he wants to keep everything. On his way out, he sees a black leather motorcycle jacket on the front display. It’s small, like him, and it makes him look a little older. He buys that, too.
There’s a coffee shop next to the thrift shop. It’s not a Starbucks or any chain he’s ever heard of, but he goes inside and buys himself a small muffin - splurging on a large coffee - and quietly sings himself Happy Birthday.
-
By early November Blaine knows how lucky he is that it hasn't snowed yet, but he’s not sure how long he can keep sleeping outside.
When it does finally start snowing three days later he can’t put it off any longer. Blaine needs to find shelter indoors, so he seeks out one of the few places around the city that he’s heard will let people sleep there, and hopes they don’t ask him too many questions.
Inside it’s just a big room with cots lined up in rows, and tables with blankets and other supplies along one wall. He finds a cot far away from where the shelter workers are bustling around asking questions and trying to get people settled. He overhears some people talking about a nearby apartment building where a fire had displaced some residents that had been moved to this shelter, which is why so many people don’t exactly look homeless. He hopes that means the shelter staff will be too busy to notice him.
For the most part they are, and he keeps to himself. The room is warm though, and the noise of all the people talking and moving around is weirdly soothing. He doesn't spend much time with people anymore so he curls up on his cot using his backpack as a pillow and lets the sounds lull him to sleep.
When he wakes up the next day the city is blanketed in snow. Blaine has to face the fact that he needs to find somewhere to spend the winter, but at only sixteen he can’t even look into any state services. They’ll just send him back to his parents, and he won't go. The longer he’s away, the more thoughts of having to live under the same roof as his father after what he did make that an impossible choice. He just can’t. He decides that when he has enough money he’s going to take a bus to New York City, and figure things out when he gets there. But until then he needs somewhere else.
Blaine packs up his things, he doesn’t want to leave but doesn’t want to risk overstaying. There’s a nice woman at the door who hands him a pair of ugly yellow rubber boots from a box, the kind that go on over your shoes, and he hears her tell another shelter user that they were donated, and that anyone who needs them can have a pair. Blaine thanks the woman and sits down to pull them over his sneakers. His feet won’t be warm, but maybe he’ll at least be able to keep them dry for a few hours.
It’s cold that day but the sun is out, so Blaine spends the day in his usual way, walking the streets, trying to stay inconspicuous, looking for shelter.
--
Most of the time, Blaine doesn’t miss being part of a family. He’s put that all behind him. He has a routine, he can find shelter when he needs it, and the other long term homeless mostly leave him alone. He tries not to think too many days ahead, and he’s getting by even as winter clamps down on the area, heading to the gym on the colder nights, no one there ever looks at him twice. It stays cold and snows more, and it turns out that there aren’t a lot of men who are looking for a parking lot hand job in the winter. A couple of potential customers ask him to do it in their car, but he’s afraid to get into the front seat in case they try to drive away with him locked in. He feels a little stupid about that, but he always tries to stay alert when he’s working. He agrees once to do it in the back seat of a car for one of his regulars. Eventually though, it becomes just as routine to get into cars with strangers as it does to put his hand down their pants.
But the holidays are coming, and he can’t fight the memories of his family and former home alone. Sometimes he does wish that he could go back. That he could have made different decisions. But the final nail had been over something that had never been a choice, and he knows it wouldn’t have mattered.
On Thanksgiving Day, he gives in to the loneliness and wanders into a church soup kitchen that he’d never been in before, and while he’s still too nervous and embarrassed to talk to anyone (other than to say thank you, of course) it makes the season feel a little less lonely. And he appreciates that.
While he’s eating Blaine overhears that a deep freeze is coming, complete with ice and a lot of snow. When Blaine leaves the church after dinner he can feel how much colder it’s gotten already. Even so, he’s too afraid to spend the night in the shelter. He doesn’t want the state to pick him up.
Blaine walks back in the direction of the Dunkin Donuts he slept behind the week before. The kitchen exhaust around the back keeps the area warm enough. It’s almost a mile away, a longer walk than he wants to make in the cold, but most people are inside enjoying the holiday with family, and he’s become used to being invisible. He’s become kind of grateful for it.
He takes a shortcut, trying to avoid the huge wind tunnel up 17th St, and winds up walking down a main road he doesn’t usually take. There's some traffic, but not too much, and after a few blocks he comes up on a strip mall with a tiny coffee shop at one end. It looks open, but there’s no one inside other than an old woman at the register. There are no hours listed, but when he pulls the door it opens, and he goes inside.
It’s warm, at least warmer than the outside. And it’s small, there’s a counter with three stools, a table for two along one wall and a booth that might fit four people – snugly – against the front window. The woman at the counter notices him and nods, like he should pick any table. He doesn’t want any food - he’s just eaten, but he can afford a cup of coffee if she’ll serve him.
“How late are you open?”
The woman shrugs and says something that sounds like ‘midnight’, but in an accent so heavy Blaine is only partially sure he understands. The clock on the wall says 10:30.
“Coffee?” He asks. She nods and he tosses his bag into the booth and sits on the other side. The woman brings him a coffee in a cup that looks like it must be fifty years old. It’s dingy white with a burgundy colored stripe around the rim, and a saucer to match. She leaves a small pitcher of milk. Sugar packets are on the table.
Eventually Blaine realizes there is an old man in the back, in what must be the kitchen, when he calls out something to the woman and she barks an answer. They leave him alone though, and the woman keeps refilling Blaine’s coffee cup without a word.
At 11:45 the woman slips a check onto the table when she comes over for one last refill. His bill for the night is $1.25. Cheaper than Dunkin, he thinks. Blaine leaves $2 on the table, collects his things and leaves with a silent nod.
He only gets about four steps before he realizes that drinking approximately six cups of coffee in ninety minutes may not have been the smartest idea, because now he has to piss, badly. The diner is closed – they shut the lights and locked the door when he left - so he walks around behind the row of shops and wanders to the back of the one farthest from the restaurant and relieves himself.
Before he leaves Blaine jiggles each of the back doors, on the off chance that one of them was left unlocked. He knows he can get out before anyone shows up and then maybe head to the gym for a shower and an extra long workout. He doesn’t expect any of his weekend regulars will be looking for an outdoor hand job if the temperatures are below 10 degrees.
The third door Blaine tries actually moves - fully opening when he shakes the handle. He’s so shocked that he blinks and takes a step backward to see if anyone caught him breaking in, then laughs at himself. It’s freezing and the place is virtually abandoned. The only person out there is him.
Blaine pushes the door gently, waiting to see if an alarm goes off or a giant German shepherd jumps out and tries to eat his face, but neither of those things happen. When he steps in it takes him a minute to realize where he is – there’s no light, and the sole street lamp lit in the parking lot out front doesn’t really reach all the way to the back of the shop. He’s in a narrow hallway that leads into another room. There’s a door on the left, which he opens. It appears to be a back storage room or office, but it’s pretty empty, just a broken chair and some old cords that don’t seem to be connected to anything. It seems safe enough, so Blaine drops his bag on the floor inside.
Tentatively, he walks to the end of the hallway, just to see what’s there. The front of the shop looks like it used to be a nail salon. Light from a single lamp in the parking lot comes through the plate glass windows, almost lighting the front of the place. There are a few tables and one of those chairs you sit in when you get a pedicure, but it looks like the business has permanently closed. There is nothing on the walls but a poster of rates for various services. He breathes a sigh of relief and decides it’s safe to spend the night.
Blaine goes back into the smaller room, shutting the door behind him. He shoves the broken chair against the back door -it’s not secure, but at least if someone tries to come in it’ll make a noise, and then he sits on the floor and pulls out his one blanket. It takes him a few minutes to realize that it’s not just not freezing inside because there are walls, but that the room is actually warm – that it has heat. Actual heat coming from a baseboard radiator. He’s learned not to overthink too many things in the past few months, so he makes up a place to sleep against the inner wall, and quietly thanks whoever led him to this place – at least for the night.
-
Blaine sleeps a long time, and when he wakes up he’s a bit disoriented. He doesn’t recognize the space or the feeling of waking up warm and he panics for a minute. When his recall kicks in he sits up to assess his situation.
It’s still dark, but his watch says it’s almost two in the afternoon, so he opens the inner door to let some light in and it confirms his observations from the night before of the salon no longer being in operation. He turns the faucets for the pedicure sinks, and two of them don’t work, but the third has actual hot water coming out of it and Blaine gasps. He remembers Kyle’s dad complaining once that his heat bill was expensive because he had to keep the heat up too high in the winter so the pipes wouldn’t burst, and figures that’s maybe why the shop still has heat.
Blaine stays two nights, snacking on reserve protein bars he keeps in his bag and a bottle of water, but by Sunday the sun is out and staying another night feels risky. Blaine doesn’t really want to leave, but he picks up his bag and heads out anyway.
When Blaine walks around to the front parking spots he notices that all of the shops in this little strip mall are closed or out of business and look like they have been for a long time. There are six storefronts, most of them narrow, and Blaine peers into the front windows of each one. There are two that are completely empty, the nail salon Blaine spent the night in, and two more with some junk furniture in them that were cell phone stores according to the signs. The only place open is the coffee shop at the end where Blaine had spent the evening before.
Blaine looks around and makes a note of what street he’s on and the cross streets, in case he ever needs to come back, and goes on his way.
-
Blaine stays away for a couple of days, sleeping in a couple of his usual spots, but it’s cold out, and the lure of the empty nail salon is strong, so Blaine finds his way there on a Wednesday afternoon. The diner is open – with no customers, so Blaine takes a seat and orders a sandwich. He sits for a couple of hours again, and no one else comes in, or even pulls into the parking lot. Blaine doesn’t know how they even stay open.
He leaves long before closing this time, and goes around the far end of the parking lot, around to the back of the buildings. The back door of the nail salon is still open, so he slips inside.
Nothing inside has changed, no one else has obviously been here in the past week. Blaine ducks into the office and closes the door behind him.
Blaine decides, probably stupidly, that no one is going to come in and fix up one of these spots in the dead of an Ohio winter. He decides to gamble that he’s got a couple of months before he has to find somewhere else to go, so he decides to make this his permanent winter home.
--
Blaine spends the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas transforming the little back office into someplace he can ride out the winter. He drags a used, kind of gross futon back to the salon (In his head he’s started referring to the place as The Salon - with capital letters. It makes him laugh.). It smells a little, so he splurges on a bottle of anti-bacterial fabric spray and douses the thing, leaving it outside for a couple of hours to air it out. It’s freezing when he finally drags it inside, and it takes up half the space of the office, but at least he won't have to sleep on the floor. Blaine finds an honest to god little red wagon in the trash at one of the bigger OSU campus fraternities. One of the wheels is kind of busted, but it works enough, and he wanders around all day checking trash cans and dumpsters for things he can use now that he doesn’t have to carry everything around on his back. He picks up a hotplate and a coffee maker and a small desk lamp, not knowing if they work, or if there is even any working electricity in The Salon. When he gets back Blaine is pleasantly surprised to find one working outlet in the little office, and thanks lazy property managers everywhere for his luck.
One afternoon he passes one of the church run soup kitchens that he’s been to a couple of times. They only serve food on weekends and holidays, but it’s Friday and they’re serving dinner now, so he stops in.
The crowd is the usual mix of families and some of the other homeless people that Blaine recognizes from around town. He accepts his plate of two chicken legs and rice and broccoli, and sits in a corner to eat. The room is bright but not too noisy, and Blaine looks around for the social worker types who come around trying to help get people off the streets, but he doesn’t see any. He only hangs out for long enough to eat and get some warmth, but decides to add it to his regular rotation since it’s not too far from his new home.
Blaine stops by the church again for Sunday afternoon dinner. There’s meatloaf and potatoes, as well as some leftover chicken and rice from Friday. It all tastes good. At some point someone comes out and announces it’s time for the family movie night, which apparently takes place in the room they’ve been eating in, because a few of the church workers start clearing tables and rearranging furniture. Blaine is about to leave, but hesitates, watching everyone gather together. The movie is Monsters Inc., and Blaine wants to stay and watch. He hasn’t seen a movie in months and this is one of his favorites.
“Hey, can you give me a hand with this table?”
Blaine starts, but it’s one of the younger men from the food line. He only looks a few years older than Blaine.
“Um, sure,” Blaine answers. “Where do you want it to go?”
“Just over here by the wall. They’re bringing out pillows and stuff for the kids to sit on for the movie.” Blaine doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods, his face neutral he hopes. “Are you staying?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” Blaine is getting nervous. This is already more attention than he likes. “I have to, um,” Blaine doesn’t even finish his sentence. He doesn’t really have to do anything.
“Up to you, man. But it’s cold out and you can totally stay.” The man sticks out his hand. “My name’s Mike. You can let me know if you need anything.”
Blaine hasn’t said his name out loud to anyone in a long time.
“It’s cool. You don’t have to tell me anything. I just want you to know you can come to me if you have any questions.” Mike looks at him like he means for more than questions about movie night.
“Blaine.” Blaine shakes Mike’s hand, warily. “My name is Blaine.” Mike doesn’t seem like he’s fishing for information, and he doesn't think he’s coming on to him.
“Nice to meet you Blaine.” Mike grins, it's friendly. “Tell you what. If you help me move the rest of these tables I’ll get you the best pillow for the movie.” Mike winks.
Blaine relaxes, just a little. “Thanks.”
Before he leaves the church, Blaine signs up to volunteer for the next movie night.
--
When Christmas comes Blaine volunteers to help in the kitchen. He can’t cook, but he can carry things and clean up, and he finds he doesn’t mind being with so many people when everyone has a job they are supposed to be doing. There’s a sign for a once a week LGBTQ meeting for teens, which helps make him feel welcome, and he briefly wonders what his dad would have to say about that.
On Christmas Eve they have a party for all of the kids, and Blaine smiles watching the littlest ones unwrap the donated gifts that he’d helped wrap the day before. He laughs in the kitchen with the other volunteers, and eats a meal of turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and carrots, and they even let him go back for seconds.
By eleven o’clock everyone who has a home to go back to is getting ready to leave, and Blaine is finishing his clean up duties and taking the trash out to the back alley. It’s snowing a little, but nothing too bad.
Blaine stops to look at the sky, watching the big flakes drop from the darkness above. There’s a light in the alley, but it’s not too bright, and Blaine can almost pretend that the past four months didn’t happen. Almost.
He’s about to go back inside when he hears a noise behind the dumpster. It’s probably a rat, but he also knows that there was a time when he wouldn’t have come inside or asked for anything, so he takes a few steps so he can see what’s there.
It’s a boy. He looks like he might be Blaine’s age, and Blaine can see under the alley streetlamp that he has pink streaked, brown hair, a few piercings, and he’s wearing a jean jacket that is definitely not protecting him from the cold Ohio weather.
“Hey,” Blaine says. “Are you alright?” The boy ducks behind the dumpster. “It’s okay, if you need food, we have some inside. Or you can just come inside. You don’t look like you’re dressed for the weather.” Blaine pauses. He doesn’t want to frighten him away. At the very least he should get him some warmer clothes. “I’m sure there’s an extra coat or something you can have inside.” The boy doesn’t say anything, but his eyes dart between Blaine and the ground. “My name’s Blaine. You should come in.” Blaine gestures toward the back door of the kitchen, propped open with a cinder block.
“Hey Blaine!” It’s Mike, calling from inside. “Shut the door, it’s freezing in here. What are you doing out there?”
“I’ll be right in,” Blaine calls back. He turned back to the boy. “Come on. You can just eat and leave if that’s what you want. Or they have someplace you can sleep if you need to. Do you have someplace to stay?”
The boy finally looks at Blaine, shaking his head. He looks at the open door longingly.
“Mike,” Blaine starts, leaning into the back room, but making sure he didn’t disappear from the boy’s sight. “There’s a kid outside, I think he needs some help, but he isn’t saying anything.” Blaine shrugs. “Maybe you can get him to come in and eat?”
Mike looks over Blaine’s shoulder. The boy has stepped further into the open, so Mike takes a step outside.
“I’m Mike,” Mike sticks out his hand. The boy takes it.
“Kurt.” He smiles weakly.
“Hi Kurt. We’d love it if you came in out of the cold for a bit, have something to eat. Get warm.”
Kurt follows Mike inside, but he still looks frightened.
Now that he’s inside Blaine can see that he has warm brown hair, streaked with pink, at least six hoops through one ear and a piercing in his lip. His ears are pink from the cold, and a little pointed, like an elf. Blaine stifles a laugh. He’s cute.
“Blaine, why don’t you take Kurt out in the dining room and get him settled, I’ll put together a plate and bring it out.”
Blaine thanks Mike for his help, then takes Kurt to the coat closet first, so he can pick out something warmer than he has on. They find a navy blue parka that still has the lining intact, and is only a little too big, and a new pair of gloves in the corporate donations box. After, he takes Kurt to the dining room so he can sit and warm up. Blaine wants to ask questions, try to help, but he knows what it’s like to not want to answer them, so he lets Kurt lead.
“Thank you,” Kurt says. “This coat is great. It even fits over my jean jacket.” Mike comes over and sets a plate in front of Kurt and Kurt’s eyes get huge. “This is too much. I could never eat all this.” Kurt stares at the plate.
“When was the last time you had a whole meal?” Mike asks.
Kurt shrugs. “A while.”
“Tell you what,” Mike offers. “Take the plate, eat what you want. If there’s any left Blaine can pack it up and you can take it with you. Or, if you need, you can sleep here in the common room tonight. We don’t have the facilities for long term residence, but we do have some sleepovers around the holidays or if it gets really cold.” Mike looks at Blaine. “Just let Blaine know what you need. He’ll take care of you.”
Kurt doesn’t look at Blaine, but he does nod. “Okay. Thank you.”
Blaine sits quietly, waiting while Kurt digs into his plate of food. Despite his protesting earlier, he eats everything Mike had put in front of him.
“Can I get you anything else?” Blaine asks, once he’s finished. Kurt shrugs, and Blaine asks the harder questions. “Do you have anyone? Anywhere to go?”
Kurt’s face clouds briefly, but this time he answers out loud. “No. Just me.”
“Then you should definitely stay here. At least tonight. Someone can help you figure out where to go after.” Kurt looks terrified at this idea. “I mean if you want. Or you can go. Whatever you need. No one is going to ask any questions,” Blaine assures him.
Kurt’s mouth crinkles, looking like it wants to be a smile. “Other than you?”
Blaine laughs, relaxing a bit. “Well, okay.” He can feel himself blush. “Other than me.”
“Do you have – anyone?” Kurt’s voice is sweet. Blaine wants him to keep talking.
Blaine shakes his head. “Just me.”
“Do you stay here?” Kurt asks, almost hopefully.
“No, I have a place I stay though. An empty storefront. It isn’t much, but it’s home.” Blaine shrugs, but Kurt looks nervous again.
“You wouldn’t be staying here?”
Blaine shakes his head again. “Do you want to stay here tonight? I can help set you up?”
“I don’t really like the shelters,” Kurt answers.
Blaine knows bad things happen in shelters, even though he’s been very lucky in them himself. He can’t help wondering if something had happened to Kurt in one, but he doesn’t ask.
Instead, he decides to do the stupidest thing he can think of. “Look. I don’t want to be weird, and I don’t mean anything at all by this. But if you don’t want to stay here I understand.” Blaine puts a hand on the table, partly to steady himself, partly to reach out, even though Kurt’s hand is nowhere near his. “If you want, you can come stay with me. It’s not much, but it is warm.” Kurt’s eyes go wide, but he doesn’t look as scared by Blaine’s suggestion as he did at the thought of staying at the shelter. . “I don’t want anything from you. I’ve just – I’ve been where you’re at. I know it’s hard to know what’s safe. Or to accept help - I’m not really good at it either. But I just want to help.”
Kurt says nothing for a minute. “I promise I’m not a weirdo,” Blaine continues. Kurt smiles. “Well, not much of a weirdo.”
“Is there anyone else at your place?” Kurt asks. Blaine isn’t sure if he should be afraid of Kurt, but he isn’t.
“Just me.”
“Okay,” Kurt says softly. “Thank you. That sounds nice.” Blaine can’t help breaking into a smile.
It had started snowing heavily while they were inside, so Blaine leads the way through the slippery streets, looking for anywhere that the snow plows had been through to make the trip easier. Here and there they pass homes decorated for Christmas, lights blinking bright through the falling snow, or a business closed for the night, but still lit up in celebration of the holiday. Despite everything that’s happened, Blaine is feeling hopeful.
When they get to Blaine’s place, Kurt's expression is nothing short of amazed. “It’s warm in here!” He says after Blaine lets them in.
“Well, it’s warmer than outside, that’s for sure. It can get pretty drafty when the wind kicks up, but -” Blaine stops talking and waits as Kurt looks around, taking in Blaine’s 80 square foot space. “It’s not much,” he says.
“No, it’s amazing.” Kurt looks over the room, his eyes stopping at the mattress along one wall. “You have a bed.”
“Sort of, I mean, it’s a pretty thin futon.”
“Still,” Kurt says. “It’s not the ground.”
“Yeah. It turns out college students throw out a lot of really good stuff.” Blaine explains to Kurt how once he decided it was safe to stay here, he started really looking for things he could use. “I found a hot plate, and a lot of clothes - if you need something it’s all clean.” Blaine points to a pile of clothes neatly folded in the corner. Kurt looks at him like he’s some kind of wizard. But he hesitates. “It’s really fine.”
Kurt blinks. “Clean clothes sound amazing, actually.”
Blaine pulls out some things that might fit, and Kurt steps out into the hall to change while Blaine makes them some tea.
“You take the mattress,” Blaine says, when Kurt comes back in. “I’ve got this thing.” Blaine unfolds a foam chair that he found in a Target dumpster. Between the mattress and the chair they take up almost the whole space.
“I can’t take your bed,” Kurt objects.
“It’s totally fine. Besides, You’re a lot taller than I am, you won’t fit on this. And I have plenty of blankets for both of us. I promise, I’ve been to the laundromat, everything is clean.” Kurt reluctantly agrees to take the bed, and accepts his tea.
“How long have you been, um, on your own?” Kurt asks once they are sitting down with their mugs. Blaine sucks in a sharp breath, which Kurt must have taken as a rebuff, because he apologized right away. “Only if you want to talk about it. I don’t mean to get too personal, if you don’t want.”
“Oh, no. It’s fine. It’s good actually.” Blaine hesitates. “I’ve never actually talked to anyone about it?” It sounds like a question. “It’s been a long time since I’ve talked to anyone, really.”
Blaine doesn’t tell Kurt everything, but he tells him a lot. He tells him about how his dad kicked him out, and the things he’s learned to do to keep safe. He skips the part about how he gives hand jobs for money, because it doesn’t really feel like something you tell someone you just met unless that’s what you’re meeting them for..
They don’t talk all night. Kurt is exhausted from being on the street, and he’s quiet. Kurt does share with Blaine that he’s run away from a foster home, and that he’ll be eighteen at the end of January. He’s just trying to stay afloat until then. Blaine is surprised that Kurt is so much older than him, he doesn’t look it.
“I hope you don’t mind that I keep this light on?” Blaine flicks on a little night light as he turns off the small lamp that had been lighting the room. “I don’t like to sleep with the door open in case of, well, in case someone notices I’m here while I’m asleep.”
“No, no it’s fine. Kinda comforting actually.” Kurt smirks gently. “I want to say thanks again, Blaine, for inviting me here. This night has turned out much better than I expected.” Blaine can just about see Kurt smile in the near dark.
“It’s entirely my pleasure, Kurt.” Blaine doesn’t tell him that sometimes being lonely is the worst thing. Worse than the cold and the hunger combined, some days. “I’m happy you’re here.”
--
Kurt Hummel blinks awake in a strange bed facing a wall he doesn’t recognize. The only thing familiar is the disorientation. He’s known it every day since his father died. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to remember how he got here (his memory hasn’t been reliable lately either. He wants to blame the cold).
There had been food and warmth and a kind boy. A cup of tea on a hot plate. He wills his eyes open. He’s wearing clean clothes that don’t quite fit, and he’s covered by a real blanket, had slept on a real pillow on a real mattress. Well, a futon was a mattress right?
He rolls over and there is the boy, sleeping on a tiny fold out foam sofa like ones he used to see in magazines in back-to-school photo spreads, only this one looked like it was child sized, and the boy’s legs spilled over the end.
He’d had a kind face and an earnest, easy smile. He hadn’t asked for anything, he only offered. Kurt pushed himself up, twisting until he was sitting cross-legged on the bed. Blaine.
Blaine wriggles a little, rubbing his face as he wakes up. Kurt remembers what day it is.
“Merry Christmas Kurt,” Blaine says, sleepy, but still kindly.
Yesterday hadn’t been a dream at all.
--
Kurt follows Blaine back to the soup kitchen, where they eat a quick breakfast and spend Christmas Day helping dish out holiday meals for the few hundred people who come through over the course of the morning. Well, Blaine helps and Mike puts Kurt to work in the kitchen.
When the afternoon shift comes in Mike tells them to make sure they eat again before they leave, and Blaine leads them to an empty table under a window, where it’s just a little quieter. Kurt had seemed eager to help in the back, but he still seems a little skittish around people. They don’t talk much while they eat, but Blaine tries to smile at Kurt whenever he looks across the table at him. Kurt doesn’t say anything at all until he finishes eating.
“Thank you again Blaine,” Kurt says quietly, wiping his mouth on one of the napkins set out on the table. “I don’t think I’ve eaten as much in the past month as I have in the past two days.” He smiles at Blaine, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me.”
Blaine shrugs “I didn’t do anything. The kitchen is here for anyone who needs to eat.” Blaine wants to reach out and touch Kurt’s hand where it rests on the table, but he isn’t sure how Kurt will react, so he puts it in his lap instead.
Kurt frowns. “You did though. I would never have come in on my own.” Kurt clasps his hands together on the table in front of him. “Thank you for noticing me.”
Blaine doesn’t know what to say. He’s spent the last four months of his life invisible, and while it’s mostly been by choice, he knows what it’s like to have someone care enough to notice. “Of course,” is all he can manage, his body caught in an awkward nod-shrug he doesn’t seem to be able to control.
“I guess I should-” Kurt starts to say, just as Blaine opens his mouth, “Do you want-” Both boys laugh, looking at the table. “You first,” Blaine says.
“Okay,” Kurt says. He seems to be steeling himself to say something. “I was going to say I should probably get going.”
Blaine shakes his head. He’s terrified to ask, but after just one day spent with someone he can actually talk to has made him realize how hungry for companionship he’s been. Blaine has nothing to lose that he didn’t have twenty-four hours ago.
“You don’t have to. I was going to ask, that is, if you didn’t have anywhere to go, that is, if you wanted to, maybe stay with me, another night?” Blaine shrugs, but inside he feels anything but nonchalant about asking. He doesn’t know anything about Kurt, but he knows he doesn’t want him to leave, and it feels like more than just loneliness. “You don’t have to decide right this minute. You can think about it.”
“Blaine, I don’t - I really don’t want to be a bother.”
“Oh no, you couldn’t be. You aren’t.” Blaine wanted to say something that would make Kurt want to stay with him. “You seem nice. And I like the company.”
Kurt doesn’t look convinced. “Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t know me at all. I could be a serial killer, or be very messy.”
Blaine laughs at that. “I live in an abandoned nail salon. How much messier can you be than that?” Kurt shrugs one shoulder. “I don’t want this to sound too stupid, but I’ve been alone a long time. And you seem nice.” Blaine winces when he repeats himself.
“Well,” Kurt says, the corner of his mouth twitching up for a fraction of a second. “I don’t really have any other plans tonight.”
--
After they leave the church they walk around the city, looking at the Christmas decorations and talking about nothing important. When they pass by an open Dunkin Donuts, they stop and Kurt treats them both to a couple of donuts and some coffee. Once they settle at a table Blaine decides to ask.
“So how did you wind up-”
“On my own?” Kurt finishes Blaine’s question. Blaine nods and Kurt continues. “Foster care gone wrong? My parents died, and I went to live with some relatives but it didn't really work out. They were like some distant cousins of my mom’s and they lived in the middle of nowhere on a farm. Her husband didn’t like me, kept telling me I was too soft, like I didn’t know what he meant by that, you know? I fixed his stupid tractor for him. I don’t know what he wanted from me.”
“Is that where you were when you left?” Blaine asks.
Kurt shakes his head no. “He hit me - only once - but my mom’s cousin didn’t want ‘that kind of trouble in her house’ so I wound up in foster care in Cleveland.”
The first home was scary. There was another foster there who didn’t like Kurt. He stole Kurt’s food and hid his clothes and tried to touch him when no one was looking. Kurt ran away from there after a week, but the agency found him and the woman from the state brought him to a different home without bothering to ask why he left the first one.
“The second one was great,” Kurt tells Blaine. “It was more like a group home? There were a couple girls there who were snarky and tough and really helped me figure out how to hold my own - take care of myself. They really accepted me.” Kurt tells him how one night they spent hours teaching him how to do his hair up. “It doesn’t look so great now, I’m in desperate need of a very long shower and some hair product,” Kurt swooshes his hand through his hair playfully. “And an hour in front of a mirror wouldn’t hurt.” Blaine laughs.
“Did they pierce your ears?” Blaine asks. He wants to touch Kurt, so he flicks an earring, hoping it’s friendly and not creepy.
“Yeah that’s a funny one. We were all drinking flavored vodka that the girls had got the skeevy guy at the gas station to buy for them. They got me drunk and convinced me to do all this.” Kurt tapped at his lip ring. “They dyed my hair pink. When I woke up my head was killing me and my lip was so sore.” Kurt laughs at the memory, and Blaine has to bite his lip. “It was my first hangover. They were a lot of fun.” Kurt taps on the table top with his index finger. “That’s the last place I was.”
“So why did you leave?” Blaine asks. It sounds to him like Kurt had a decent situation, but you never really know.
“They wanted to move me out of there, to another foster home,” Kurt explains. “The lady from the foster agency came and told me. I was so mad. I really liked it there and I didn’t want to leave, but she said I had to go. I thought I could at least stay until I turned eighteen. It’s not like I expected someone was going to adopt me or anything.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“Yeah, it didn’t matter.” Kurt sighs. “It seems stupid now, but at the time leaving just felt like the right thing to do. I crashed in a house in Cleveland for a while, with some other people who were sort of squatting? But the police came and cleared that out, so I got on a bus and came here. Columbus for the winter, maybe not so smart?” Kurt finishes his coffee and sets the cup down on the table. “I haven’t had as much luck finding someplace to stay here yet. But when I turn eighteen I’ll be able to rent an apartment and no one will ask me too many questions.”
“Well, you are welcome to stay with me as long as you’re comfortable,” Blaine offers.
--
One day turns into another and then into another. Blaine gets Kurt into the gym as a guest - he’s been going there so regularly no one even bats an eye when he shows up with a friend, and Kurt takes full advantage of the shower facilities. When Kurt suggests that he and Blaine ‘race’ on the exercise bikes, Blaine has so much fun he almost forgets about his situation, and Kurt’s.
On New Year’s Eve they find a spot downtown where they can almost see the fireworks, and ooh and ahh with the rest of the crowd. The walk back to their tiny room is long and it’s cold out, and before long they’re both shivering with chattering teeth.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Blaine says.
“What? You didn’t have fun?” Kurt asks. “I had fun. And I’m very happy I got to spend my last day on earth before I turn into a popsicle walking the entire circumference of Columbus with you.” Blaine can hear the teasing in Kurt’s tone, and he smiles even though he’s all hunched up in his jacket and Kurt can’t see him. Maybe he’s smiling because Kurt can’t see him.
“Har har. Not fair. I can’t even make a joke about making you sleep outside, because now that I have slept outside I would never joke about something like that.” Blaine’s relieved when Kurt laughs. “Maybe we should sing camp songs.”
“Why would we sing camp songs?”
“I don’t know, to keep ourselves awake and the blood flowing to our brains while we walk? Didn’t you ever go to camp?” Blaine asks, the words out of his mouth before he even thinks about it. “I’m sorry Kurt, I --”
“Oh, I went to camp Blaine, unfortunately. For a week in the sixth grade. It was the single worst experience of my life, and that includes the week I spent sleeping behind the Outback Steakhouse before I met you.”
Blaine chokes out a laugh. “That’s terrible. What happened at camp?”
“Well, unlike what I might be willing to put up with today, as an eleven year old the idea of sleeping in a tent was possibly the most horrifying thing I could think of. My dad thought camp would be good for me - I’d had a hard time making friends in middle school and he thought maybe if I did some group activities it would help.” Kurt glances at Blaine, and even in the dark Blaine can see Kurt’s dismissive smirk.
“So I take it that didn’t work?”
“Mmmm, no. I was somewhat relieved at the time to find that we were sleeping in cabins, not tents, but the few friends I had were girls, and since they were not going to let me sleep in the girls cabin -” Blaine laughs out loud. “I wasn’t out, I barely knew anything about anything then. But there were definitely other boys who thought they could torment me.”
Blaine frowns. “I’m sorry about that. People can be so ignorant.”
“They can. The first day we had some tug of war competition, and they thought it would be funny to put me in front, so I would be the one who got pulled into the muddy pond.” Kurt shudders. “But I put shaving cream in their sleeping bags that night, and they left me alone the rest of the week.”
“Kurt! Did you get in trouble?”
“Just a little. But it was worth it.” They walk quietly for a few minutes. “How about musicals instead of camp songs?” Kurt asks. “Have you ever seen Evita?”
--
Kurt helps out at the soup kitchen every day over the holidays. He likes having somewhere to go, he likes helping Mike and the other volunteers, and he wants to try to get a job, so he’s hoping his volunteer work will look good to a potential employer. He’s going to be eighteen in a few weeks and he’s going to get a trust that his mother set up for him before she died. He doesn’t know how much it is, but he hopes it’ll be enough to rent an apartment.
Kurt can’t help wondering if Blaine might want to come with him, if he wants to get off the street. They haven’t talked about that much, but he does understand that Blaine is afraid of some authority finding him and returning him to his parents. Kurt knows he doesn’t want that, although it seems like a low risk to Kurt, and it would be lower if he was off the street. Kurt knows that everything would be easier if there were two of them, and Kurt could repay Blaine by giving him somewhere to live that’s safer than an abandoned store. Kurt resolves to talk to Blaine about it some time in the next week.
On Thursday after New Year’s, Kurt is in the back cleaning up after they’ve finished serving dinner, when Blaine pops in through the back door; the same door that he had come out of to find Kurt just barely a week earlier.
“Blaine hi.” Kurt feels himself smiling too big, but he can’t stop it. He’s surprised and happy to see Blaine. “What are you doing here?”
Blaine looks a little nervous. “I um, have to go out for a while - maybe a couple of hours? I just wanted to tell you so that you weren’t surprised when I wasn’t home, or when I came in after midnight.”
“Okay.” Kurt notices for the first time that Blaine is wearing eyeliner. He thinks how cute Blaine looks before he even realizes it, and then he’s worried. “Are you okay? Is there something I can help you with?”
“What? Oh, no, definitely no. I just have to do something, okay?”
“Okay.” Kurt feels weird about the entire interaction. He doesn’t really know Blaine that well yet, but being out all night doesn’t quite fit in with the things Kurt does know about him. It worries him. “I’ll wait up,” he says, hoping it’s not creepy or weird to offer.
“No you don’t - it’s fine. I won’t be too late.” Blaine puts on a forced smile, then leaves. Kurt is still standing in the doorway frowning at nothing, when Mike pops up behind him.
“Everything okay?”
Kurt shrugs. “I don’t know.” He thinks for a minute, then decides Mike is safe. “It’s just, you know Blaine has been letting me stay with him?”
“At the storefront, yes.” One of the things Blaine had told Kurt on their first night was that Mike knew that he was living on the street, but hadn’t made any effort to call the police or get in touch with his parents. It was one of the reasons Blaine trusted Mike’s church and the program they ran there, and why he went back. They were there to help, but they were willing to follow the lead of the people they were helping.
“It’s been really great, Blaine is so smart, and the way he’s managed to take such care of himself is just so, so impressive,” Kurt pauses, “but I’m a little worried. He just came by to tell me he’s going to be out late, and I,” Kurt pauses again, but this time Mike helps him by saying his worries out loud.
“You’re afraid he’s doing something dangerous,” Mike says. It’s not a question, and Kurt nods. “Well, I don’t want to share any of Blaine’s information without his permission, but sometimes kids who wind up on the street make some choices that don’t seem so safe.”
Kurt doesn’t want to admit how important Blaine is to him after just a week. But Kurt has met a lot of new people in the years since his dad died, and had to adjust to a lot of new and different environments and not all of them felt right. Even with them both being homeless, at least for the moment, Kurt knows Blaine is special. “Do you know anything? He’s not selling drugs, is he?” He really likes Blaine, and he wants him to be safe.
“Would that matter to you?” Mike asks.
“Honestly? I don’t know. I was only on the street a couple of weeks before I found this place, and Blaine, and he was out there a long time. I won’t judge what someone has to do to take care of themselves, but I just -”
“You want to know you’re going to be safe?” The way Mike is asking Kurt questions makes Kurt wonder if Mike knows more than he’s letting on.
Kurt fidgets. “Sort of, I mean I don’t want to put myself in any more danger than I have to, no,” Kurt tells him. “But more than that, I want to know if Blaine is going to be safe.”
“I don’t know Blaine that well, but he has been helping out here for a few weeks, and he seems like a good kid,” Mike says, then the corner of his mouth twists, and for a second Kurt thinks Mike has something else to tell him. “I am not aware of Blaine being involved with drugs, either selling them or using them. But if you’re worried about him, I think it’s okay to tell him that.”
--
When Blaine gets back to The Salon it’s almost one am, so he’s a little surprised to find Kurt still up, reading a book from Blaine’s stack of acquired paperbacks.
“Hi,” He says, trying to smile and steeling himself for questions he’s not sure he knows how to answer. “You’re up.”
“It’s not that late,” Kurt says, putting the book down, rubbing his eyes and then pulling his knees up and hugging them. “And I actually fell asleep for a bit after I came back from helping in the kitchen.”
Blaine nods with a chuckle and takes off his jacket, hanging it on a peg before grabbing his sweats from where they are folded on the floor. “I’m gonna get cleaned up, be right back.” He pauses with a hard swallow. “Then maybe we should talk.” Kurt’s face opens up, and Blaine knows he needs to tell him.
Blaine sits on the edge of the basin that still has hot water, turns it on and adds some soap. He showers at the gym a few times a week, but he likes to clean up before bed. And he’s just had his hand wrapped around five stranger’s cocks. He pulls off his boots and his socks and his shirt as the basin fills with suds, and he doesn’t know how to feel.
He’s barely known Kurt two weeks - not even. Blaine doesn’t owe him any explanation or apologies for how he’s chosen to survive, or the situation he’s found himself in, but he can’t help wondering what will happen when he does tell Kurt. Blaine won’t pretend, not even to himself, that it won’t matter if Kurt decides to go on his way. It will matter.
Once he’s got his sweats on he steps back into their room to find Kurt has made tea, and is sitting on the bed with two mugs. Blaine takes his and sits on the floor, but before he can say anything, Kurt starts talking.
“Blaine, I’m sorry, I don’t want to be weird but I guess I can’t help it.”
Blaine’s caught off guard. He thought he was the one who had to explain something. “What?”
“I asked Mike if you were selling drugs?” Kurt says, somewhat sheepishly. “And I know it’s none of my business, I just can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you, or you doing anything dangerous. Which is stupid, I know, I barely know you at all, and I’m not your mom or the police or anything, and it’s so, so nice of you to let me share your space here. I was just worried, and-”
Kurt stops when Blaine starts laughing.
“Oh my god.” Blaine shakes his head, burying his face in his hands.
“Why is that funny?” Kurt asks, backing off slightly.
“Well I am definitely not selling drugs. Or doing drugs, or involved in drugs,” Blaine answers. “Although it’s sometimes tempting.” Blaine chuckles, but Kurt doesn’t seem to think that’s funny, so he goes on. “I wanted to apologize to you, for being a little weird this afternoon.”
Kurt shrugs. “You don’t owe me anything, Blaine. I mean that.”
“Maybe not. But I like having you here,” Blaine answers, almost a whisper. He clears his throat. “I guess one of the things I didn’t think about when I asked you if you wanted to stay here with me in my palatial estate-” he pauses to sweep his arm around their tiny space, “was that there probably wasn’t a lot we could hide from each other.”
“I don’t have that much to hide,” Kurt says. “I don’t tell too many people that I’m gay, but that doesn’t stop them from harassing me about it.”
“I didn’t think I did either. Well, that’s not true, I did, because I didn’t tell you before, but then I realized that I probably was going to have to tell you, but -” Blaine stops talking. “I lost that sentence. I think I’m out of practice talking to people.”
“It’s okay,” Kurt says. “But I do mean it, are you okay? Are you in some kind of trouble? Other than the obvious.” It’s Kurt’s turn to wave an arm around the room, and they both laugh. Blaine feels better.
“Yes and no.” Blaine takes a deep breath. “I didn’t have a lot of money, when my dad kicked me out. Just a few hundred dollars, and I spent a bunch of that on food in the first few weeks before I figured stuff out.” Blaine pauses, but Kurt is listening, so he goes on. “Then one night, some guy...propositioned me.” Kurt looks confused for a moment. “Paid me for a hand job,” Blaine tells him, and Kurt’s eyes go wide as his mouth makes an ‘O’. “Ten bucks,” Blaine tells him. “Scared the shit out of me, but I did it.”
“And that’s…”
“Yeah, I guess technically I’m a prostitute?” Kurt doesn’t say anything, but Blaine can see he has questions. “It’s really not so bad,” Blaine says. “Not since I found this place, anyway, and I can store some things. I make okay money and I only go out and work when I have to. And so far I’ve never had to do anything but give a hand job.”
“Do you worry?” Kurt pauses nervously, as if trying to find the right words. “About...more?”
“Sometimes,” Blaine says, honestly. “There have been a few times, guys wanted more, um,” Blaine lickes his lips before continuing. “Telling them I’m only sixteen made a couple back off. Once I just had to book it and run. That was scary. I never went back to that bar.”
Kurt’s quiet. “I’m sorry, Blaine, that you have had to do that.”
“It’s no big deal, mostly.” Blaine shifts in his spot on the floor, rubbing his knees. “If it bothers you, though, and you don’t want to stick around, I get it.” Blaine nods, not looking at Kurt directly. “I would understand.”
Kurt gets up on his knees. “No, um. No. Unless you want me to go? I guess, I know we sort of just met, but I was worried. I didn’t want you to be mixed up in something dangerous.” Kurt shakes his head. “But I guess just living is dangerous, sometimes. At least right now.” Kurt sits back on his feet, but Blaine can see he’s just getting started on something. “But it doesn’t always have to be like this. I have a little money, and as soon as I turn eighteen and can rent an apartment I’m going to find one. And I hope,” Kurt stops. “I hope, if we’re still friends, that maybe I can help you, the way that you’ve helped me out.”
“Kurt.” Blaine wipes his hand across his face, trying not to cry. He wants to hug Kurt, but he doesn’t. Suddenly he misses his mom, he misses Cooper, he misses Kyle; he misses physical human contact - not the kind he’s getting on the street, although in darker moments Blaine will admit to himself that sometimes it actually helps, but the kind from someone who cares about you. It threatens to overwhelm him, and he can see Kurt looking concerned, so he sucks in a breath, shuddering. “I’m sorry. I just…” He doesn’t want to say it, that he’s been lonely, or that he misses people. He’s sure Kurt knows, has similar feelings about things and people he’s lost; probably even about his dad.
“It’s okay,” Kurt says, and he does move closer, wrapping his arms around Blaine and pulling him into a hug while Blaine cries quietly into his shoulder.
--
Over the next couple of weeks Kurt volunteers regularly at the soup kitchen, and Blaine starts to spend some more time there, feeling less afraid that someone is going to find him and send him back to his family. He accepts that he misses his mom, and wonders if his brother thinks about him at all, or if he even knows what happened to Blaine at this point. But with Kurt in his life he worries about those things less.
Blaine loves the family movie nights that happen twice a week, and he makes sure to be there early to help set up. Blaine loves the Disney movies and he and Kurt sit together and share popcorn. Kurt is bewitched by every movie musical.
“My mom used to watch them,” he tells Blaine one night when they are walking back. “She would sing all the songs to me and we’d dance around the living room.” Blaine soaks up Kurt talking about his mom, and he has to shove his hands into his pockets to keep from taking Kurt’s hand as they walk back home.
Blaine knows he has a crush on Kurt, and it’s fine, he likes the idea that he can have a crush on another boy. That there’s even another boy in his life to have a crush on is a miracle Blaine does not want to take for granted. But he doesn’t want to screw anything up, or make Kurt leave, so he keeps it to himself.
It’s a Thursday afternoon and Blaine is setting up for an after school movie for the homeless kids that come to the church when a scary looking bald guy with a Sam Elliot mustache comes into the meeting room that serves as the cafeteria/movie room/playroom or whatever else kind of room they need. He looks around, as if he’s looking for a person and not just looking at the surroundings, and Blaine reflexively puts the chair he’s holding in between himself and this man. Before he can do anything else, Martin, the soup kitchen supervisor and occasional pastor, walks over to the man and shakes his hand. Blaine watches as the disappear into the office next door to the kitchen.
Blaine tries not to be scared. He’s getting better at not worrying since he’s had someplace to go and get off the street, and well, since Kurt, but he gets nervous around people who look like law enforcement, and this guy looked like a cop. He finishes setting up the room for the movie, and heads to the kitchen to talk to Kurt, since he has to bring the snacks out to the front anyway..
“It’s probably nothing,” Kurt says in a low voice, after Blaine tells him about the man. “Maybe someone stole from the collection box or something.”
“Maybe,” Blaine says, but as he’s about to say that he’ll be happier when the guy leaves, Mike comes into the back.
“Hey Kurt, there’s a guy here I think you might want to talk to?” Mike holds the door open for Kurt, and Kurt looks at Blaine questioningly as he leaves, Mike behind him. Blaine fails to not freak out silently as he’s left alone in the back. He busies himself with the snacks.
Kurt’s not gone long, though, and when he exits the room he’s shaking the man’s hand too, with a huge smile on his face. Kurt heads directly toward him as everyone else leaves.
“Blaine! You’re not going to believe it!” Kurt isn’t shouting, but he is practically vibrating out of his skin.
“He wasn’t a cop?”
“No, definitely not a cop. He owns the barbershop over on Vine, the one that’s the coffee shop too, you know?”
“I think?” Blaine thought he’d seen it, but he hadn’t really had a hair cut in a while.
“His name is Eddie, and his husband own the place, and they were looking for someone to help out with like sweeping and cleanup and serving coffee, and they came over here to see if they could help someone out -”
“Husband? Oh my god, Kurt! Did he offer you a job?”
Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hands and jumped up and down. “Yes! Yes! Right on the spot. It’s minimum wage, and he said it’s probably twenty five hours a week, which isn’t a lot, but it’s a start, and he said it might be more if they were busy but I don’t even care.”
“It’s a job,” Blaine says, as Kurt bites his bottom lip and nods. “Kurt I am so happy for you!” Blaine lets Kurt pull him into a celebratory hug, Blaine hugging him back so tightly that Kurt couldn’t see the relief on his face.
Kurt goes through the clothes in the church donation bin, trying to find something acceptable to wear to his first day at work. Blaine finds him sitting on the floor in the church basement with several piles of clothes neatly folded on the floor around him.
“No luck?” Blaine asks, sitting cross legged on the floor next to Kurt.
“Sort of? I just wish I had any idea what looked good, or what was even remotely fashionable at the moment. I feel like I used to know, but -” Kurt lets the sentence hang there, they both know where he’s going with it. “I know it’s just a barber shop, but I want to look good.”
“Do you want to try some stuff on?” Blaine asks. “I know I’m not exactly Tim Gunn, but I’m not completely hopeless when it comes to that sort of thing.”
Kurt looks at Blaine as if he’s considering his fashion sense, but relents with a half smile. “Okay. But you have to promise that you’ll tell me if something looks off, or doesn’t fit right. I taught myself to sew after my mom died, so I can alter something if it has promise.”
Blaine promises, and Kurt stands up, brushing dust off of his thighs. Blaine isn’t sure if it’s the angle, or the lighting, or what, but he had never quite noticed before this moment just how long Kurt’s legs are. He’s taller than Blaine by a few inches, it had just never registered quite like it does when Kurt stands up right next to him, right there, in the church basement.
“I found this pair of jeans that I think will fit, and a couple of shirts.” When Kurt unties his well worn Doc Martens and starts to take off his clothes, Blaine has to make an effort not to stare. It’s not like Blaine has never seen Kurt’s bare legs. They change in front of each other in their little storefront all the time. But it’s such close quarters Blaine must have not really noticed before. He can’t help noticing now.
It’s worse when Kurt pulls the newer pair of jeans on, because they are very tight and Kurt has to pull hard to get them on.
“Are those too small?” Blaine asks before he has a chance to think better of it.
Kurt turns around in a circle, trying to look behind him. “I don’t think so, do you think so? I think they’re just tight.”
“Can you move in them? I’m not sure it matters how good they look if you can’t work in them.”
Kurt looks thoughtful, but does a few deep knee bends, and walks across the floor and back. “They seem okay?”
After that he tries on a few shirts that are either too big or too small, before finding a yellow button down shirt that fits well. Blaine blatantly does not watch Kurt tuck the shirt into his pants. Kurt plucks something out of the pile that turns out to be a charcoal mens suit vest. “I thought this might look cool,” he says, slipping it on and doing up the buttons. Blaine’s mouth goes immediately dry. “How does it look?” Kurt asks as he smooths down the fabric.
“Good,” Blaine manages to say. “Slimming.”
Kurt brightens up, a grin splitting his face. “Really?”
“I mean, you’re already pretty slim.” Blaine hopes that sounds like a normal complement. “But yes. It looks good. Great, even.”
“Great, Thank you Blaine.” Kurt folds up the couple of items that he liked and carries them out under his arm as he and Blaine head home.
--
The day before Kurt’s first day of work they go back to Planet Fitness and Kurt splurges on a day pass so he can take a real shower and get cleaned up enough for work. Kurt’s been using the hot water basin at the nail salon regularly, which has been fine, but he wants to make sure he looks good for his first day - like a normal, not homeless person, even though Eddie knew he was on the street when he offered Kurt the job. On the actual first day, Blaine makes them both tea and oatmeal, and when Kurt asks Blaine to walk with him to the barbershop Blaine is over the moon, but he keeps it to himself.
Kurt comes home after his first day with a new hairstyle and a regular schedule. Blaine thinks he looks gorgeous, but tells him that it looks great. Kurt’s schedule is Monday through Friday from noon until four, and then on Thursday through Saturday from ten am until five pm when they close. It’s more hours than he expected, and since Kurt doesn’t have a work permit they even offer to pay him in cash until he turns eighteen, since that’s happening in only a couple of weeks anyway. Kurt is so excited he takes them both out for dinner, before Blaine hits the bar parking lots for the rest of the evening.
About two weeks into Kurt’s job, Blaine stops by on a Wednesday afternoon to pick Kurt up. They are volunteering at movie night at the church, and Kurt wanted to introduce Blaine to Eddie and his husband. Kurt lights up when Blaine comes in the shop, a fact not lost on Eddie, who’s sitting in an empty barber chair near the front door.
“Blaine!” Kurt practically leaps toward him. Blaine nods hello, but he’s feeling a little intimidated by the whole situation, even though all he’s done is walk in the door. “I’m so glad you wanted to come by,” Kurt says, putting his hand on Blaine’s shoulder as he starts to introduce him. “This is Eddie, he does most of the haircutting and barbershop stuff.” Blaine shakes his hand and thinks he still looks like a cop, but his smile is gentle when he says hello.
“Nice to meet you, Blaine. Kurt talks about you all the time.”
Blaine blinks. “He does?”
“Of course I do,” Kurt smacks him. “You practically saved my life.”
“Well I don’t know about that, I just -”
“Don’t downplay what you did Blaine. From what Kurt’s told me you’ve done a really great thing, helping Kurt out.” Blaine half shrugs, because he doesn’t know what else to do.
“Oh! Eddie said that he’s going to teach me how to cut hair, and might even let me take on a few customers. Isn’t that great?” Blaine can’t help but get caught up in how excited Kurt is.
“Wow, that’s really nice of you,” Blaine says, but he reflexively puts a hand into his own hair. It’s clean, but he’s basically been cutting it himself to keep his normally loopy curls under control. “Maybe I should make an appointment?”
Kurt laughs. “Oh I’ll do yours for free.” Before Blaine can answer a very tall man who looks much less like a cop than Eddie, but looks a lot like a much older Ryan Reynolds with a beard joins them. “Hi Buck,” Kurt says. “This is my friend, Blaine, that I was telling you about.”
Buck sticks his hand out. “Very nice to meet you, finally.” Blaine feels awkward. Kurt’s only been working here for a couple of weeks and these guys seem to know a lot about Blaine. He knows he’s probably just feeling self conscious.
Kurt has definitely talked about both Eddie and Buck. They met in the army when they both served in Desert Storm, and when they got out Buck followed Eddie to Columbus, although he was originally from New Mexico. Blaine knew that when Massachusettes legalized gay marriage they moved there for six months and got married, even though it wouldn’t be recognized where they lived. Buck had told Kurt that it didn’t matter - they were business partners and that would be harder to dissolve than any marriage, so they were stuck with each other no matter what the law said. Blaine guesses he shouldn’t be that surprised that Kurt has talked about him.
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Buck asks, indicating the cafe that makes up the other half of the shop. There’s a girl who looks like she’s still in high school at the coffee counter.
“Not right now, thanks, although I will definitely come back and have one,” Blaine says. “We need to get to the church and set up the chairs. And I’m on popcorn duty tonight.”
“Well thanks for stopping by,” Eddie tells him, as Kurt puts on his coat. “And come back any time Blaine.”
“I will,” Blaine says. “I definitely need to try the coffee.”
“And I am definitely going to cut your hair,” Kurt says.
That’s how, less than a week after meeting Buck and Eddie for the first time, Blaine is sitting in a barber’s chair, with Kurt standing behind him, running his fingers through his hair. They are just friends, he and Kurt - good friends, best friends even. Sometimes, though, Blaine wonders if things could be different, if circumstances were different. It feels like there is too much baggage, too many things they both have to overcome. But at times like this he does wonder.
“ - grow his hair out for a week or so longer. before we did this” Blaine picks up the conversation with Kurt in mid-sentence.
“You said you wanted to practice,” Eddie says. “And Blaine is willing. Maybe if you don’t mangle it too badly he’ll let you come back in a couple of weeks and try again.” Eddie winks at Blaine in the mirror’s reflection.
“Hmmm, I guess,” Kurt says, but he’s clearly contemplating what to do with Blaine’s mop of hair. “I’ve never cut curly hair before.”
‘Have you cut any hair before?” Blaine asks.
“You should have asked that before,” Buck says as he walks by. “When someone is standing over you with scissors it’s too late,” he says when he walks back the way he came.
“I have cut hair before!” Kurt maintains. “The girls at my last foster home showed me how, and they let me cut their hair a couple of times.” Blaine can see Kurt’s face in the mirror, frowning. “It wasn't curly though.”
Eddie finishes taking money from his last client, and comes over to help. He gives Kurt a few tips, shows him a few tricks for Blaine’s hair type. “It’s not entirely on you Kurt, someone has been cutting pretty odd layers into this hair.”
Blaine giggles. He can’t help it. He likes the gentle teasing and how fond both of these men clearly are of Kurt after just a few short weeks spent with him. If he can’t have his own family, he’ll happily take this one instead.
Kurt finishes and Blaine has to admit, it looks good, it’s curly but shorter, with fewer uneven bits sticking out. He watches in the mirror as Kurt tries to get some of the curls to set in a specific style.
“Have you ever used a product in your hair?” Blaine shakes his head. “I have an idea. If you don’t like it we can always wash it out.” Half an hour later Blaine is staring at a completely different version of himself, his hair slicked completely back and out of his face. It almost looks like a helmet. “Wow,” Kurt says. “So handsome.” Blaine feels his cheeks turn red, and he tries to will his blushing away, hoping no one else notices.
“You look like a regular Disney prince,” Eddie says, winking at him again in the mirror from where he’s standing behind another client.
Blaine makes an extra thirty dollars that night, he doesn’t know if it’s specifically his new hair, or just that he looks different and so gets noticed by different men, but whatever it is, he’s grateful for the additional cash, so he gets Kurt to show him how to do it himself at home.
Kurt’s birthday is in ten days, and Kurt has been talking more about how he wants to find a real apartment once he turns eighteen. He has some money, and it sounds like on his birthday he’s going to get a bit more money from a trust that his mother set up before she died. He doesn’t think it’s much, just a couple of thousand dollars, but he thinks it will be enough for them to be able to pay a security deposit and an extra months rent, at least.
Blaine has told him he’d rather Kurt save the money. They’ve talked about moving to New York when Blaine is old enough that no one will question them being together, or ask him about his parents. Kurt always counters that while he is grateful for the little hole they have made their home, he does not want to live there for another two years. He would like a real bathroom, and a shower he can use any time he wants, not just when he pays for it, and Blaine has to concede that he has a point there.
Kurt hasn’t said that he doesn’t want Blaine to come with him - the opposite, actually. Kurt has said over and over that they are getting out of this together. Blaine is worried though. He has no idea how much an apartment costs, or what would happen to either him or Kurt if someone found out they were living together. It’s so much easier for him to figure out what to do when he doesn’t have to explain anything to anyone else. Like a real estate agent or someone who wants a credit check, both things he knows are involved when you rent an apartment.
Two days before Kurt’s birthday Blaine is out in the parking lot of a bar he’s never worked before. It’s in the downtown business district, so it’s just about the only thing open in that neighborhood, and it’s kind of far from the nail salon. But a couple of the other kids on the street suggested he should try it, since it’s crowded on Thursday nights and they both said they have made some money there.
When he gets there he picks a spot by a barricade at the edge of the parking lot, but he’s not paying a lot of attention to what’s going on, and he misses a couple of possible customers because he’s distracted by thoughts about Kurt. He knows that they aren’t going to magically have to move on Kurt’s birthday, that it will still take some planning, and Kurt will have to talk to the trustee to make arrangements, but something is going to probably happen soon, and Blaine needs to be ready for whatever it is.
“Aren’t you pretty?” It takes Blaine a second to realize the guy is talking to him.
He nods his head. “Hey.”
“How much?” The guy grabs his cock over his jeans.
“Ten. Hand job,” Blaine answers.
“How much to suck it?”
Blaine shakes his head, then nods in the direction of a bunch of other hustlers gathered under a street light across the parking lot, they call him ‘chicken’ but they’re nice to him most of the time. “They can take care of you.”
The guy gets a little closer, but Blaine is used to it, it happens sometimes. Then he puts his hand on Blaine’s cock and gives it a squeeze. “How much to suck yours?”
“Look man, I’m sixteen. I’ll give you a hand job for ten bucks - and you’ll like it I promise. Anything more you should check in over there. They can take care of you.” Most of the time his age will put someone off, but this guy isn’t taking no for an answer. He doesn’t smell like he’s been drinking, but Blaine isn’t sure he’s not on something else.
The guy crowds Blaine up against a pickup truck and tries to push him down on the ground while he unzips his pants, but Baine is not having it, and he catches the guys arm and manages to squirm under it. When he starts to run the guy pushes him from behind, and he winds up face first on the pavement, smashing his nose.
“Run from me you little bitch, I’ll show you what to do with that virgin asshole.” Blaine can hear the guy get as he starts to get off the pavement, and he gets a kick in his ribs just as he starts to move. The guy is pulling at the back of Blaine’s jeans - Blaine knows they aren’t coming off, they’re way too tight for that, but he knows he needs to get out of there as fast as possible. He tries to swing his leg backward and catch the guy in the crotch, but he misses and gets his head slammed back into the pavement as a reward. It took Blaine a minute to shake that off, and by then the guy is trying to drag him by one leg back toward where the pickup truck is parked. Blaine kicks but it doesn’t land, and he worries that one more knock to his head and he's going to pass out. Blaine decides it is time to start worrying about how he is going to get away. Blaine is sure he hears the sound of a switchblade thwick, and his adrenaline kicks in one last time. He manages to heave himself against the guy, and even though Blaine doesn’t weigh much the guy trips backward and lands on his ass. Blaine runs, this time not falling, and as he gets away he can see the club security running toward where he was just sprawled out on the pavement.
Blaine doesn’t want any part of the club security. They only tolerate the presence of the kids who hustle because there’s never any trouble with them. Blaine’s adrenaline takes him in the opposite direction, and he doesn’t stop running until his legs give out under him and he collapses on the sidewalk.
It’s midnight on a Thursday and he’s in the business district with no other people around. He’s partly grateful; he can’t go to a hospital, they’ll only call the police, but he’s had the crap kicked out of him, and he needs to get home. When he hears sirens Blaine rolls behind a giant planter so he can’t be seen by any cars that drive by.
Blaine sits there for a few minutes, trying to catch his breath. His chest hurts and he can’t breathe through his nose - he’s starting to think it might be broken. He’s not sure he can get up, and he’s really sure he can’t walk all the way home from where he is in the condition he’s in. He contemplates just finding somewhere to sleep on the street until morning, but something in the back of his head keeps telling him that’s a bad idea.
He sits for another ten or fifteen minutes, then pulls himself up using the side of the planter. He isn't sure where he is, when he ran out of the parking lot he didn’t think about a direction, so it takes him a while to orient himself. Blaine thinks he might be near the barbershop. There’s probably no one there, but when they come in in the morning they’ll find him. And Kurt will show up there and he’ll find Blaine and he’ll help Blaine figure out what to do.
Blaine starts toward the barbershop, and he’s definitely limping. His stomach hurts and he’s starting to worry that he might have a broken rib. After he gets another few blocks he feels something squishy in his shoe, and looks down to see that’s left a trail of blood along the sidewalk. He can’t tell where it’s coming from, though probably his leg if it’s pooling in his shoe. He doesn’t want anyone to follow him from the club, but he’s too freaked out to be able to worry about that now.
By the time he reaches the barbershop Blaine is exhausted. He sits on the pavement in the doorway, resolving to get up and move somewhere less obvious as soon as he can muster up the energy. For the moment, he fades in and out of consciousness and doesn’t move.
Blaine jolts awake when someone shakes him by the shoulder. His heart leaps to his throat, but it’s Eddie.
“Blaine? What’s wrong? Is Kurt okay? What are you doing here?”
Blaine blinks slowly. It’s definitely Eddie, but it’s still dark out, and Kurt isn’t there. “Kurtssokay,” Blaine hears himself slur. “Whare you herenow?”
“We live here. Blaine?” Buck is on his knees next to him, and he’s squeezing Blaine’s arms and legs. “Have you been drinking?”
“No. Too young.” Blaine somehow thinks that’s funny and giggles. “Guy punched me.”
“Looks like he did more than punch you.” Buck stands and lifts Blaine like he a bag of marshmallows, and Eddie unlocks the door next to the door to the shop, and they carry him up one flight of stairs to their apartment, taking him directly into the bathroom. “We need to get these clothes off you. Is that okay? It looks like you’re bleeding and I need to figure out how badly.” Blaine nods, and Buck gets to work.
“You live up here?” Blaine is starting to feel delirious, but he wants to talk. “S’nice.”
“Yep, We own the whole building, we live up here and work downstairs. Ed!” Eddie comes in with an assortment of first aid items, and they start to clean Blaine off.
“Why don’t you tell us what happened Blaine?” Eddie asks, as they work.
So Blaine tells them what he remembers, and amid the uh huh’s, and oh wow’s, Blaine misses the sad looks that pass between the two of them the minute they realize why Blaine was out and how he wound up in his current condition. They ask him if he has a headache (no, only where he banged it), does he feel like throwing up (not really), can he breath okay (sort of, but his side hurts and his nose feels swollen), and they seem satisfied with the answers. Buck squirts some stuff up his nose, then squeezes it hard, then tells Blaine they want him to lie down and put some ice on everything. Blaine forgets to ask about the blood, but he remembers to tell them that he came there because he knew Kurt would come there eventually, and they don’t have phones so he couldn’t call him and tell him where he was.
Blaine fades in and out of sleep, and he hears Buck and Eddie moving around and talking, but he’s not really sure what they are doing. At some point, they sit him up and ask him if he wants some breakfast, and they seem relieved when he says yes.
“How are you doing this morning Blaine?” Eddie asks, as he hands him a piece of toast.
“Better, thank you,” Blaine answers. “Thank you for not taking me to the hospital last night.”
Eddie nods. “Well, we took a good look at your injuries and it didn’t look like there was anything that we couldn’t handle. Although if the pain in your ribs continues or that bruise gets worse we might need to seriously discuss getting you an x-ray. But it can wait a day or two.”
“We considered driving out to get Kurt last night, but we weren’t sure about surprising him at that hour,” Buck says. “But now since it’s light out you can tell me where you’re crashing, and I can go get him? I’d hate for him to have to worry about you until he gets here.” Blaine agrees, and gives Buck the information. He leaves immediately to go get Kurt.
Eddie brings him a t-shirt and some sweats, and Blaine pulls them on gingerly. He hurts everywhere. “Last night, I think I was bleeding? But I couldn’t tell from where. Do you know what happened?”
Eddie shakes his head. “Only what you told us, but it does look like someone caught you with the side of a knife. It was just a surface cut, though it bled a lot. You broke your nose, and it looks like your ribs are only bruised, but like I already said I’d like to keep an eye on that. It sounds like you bandged your head pretty good, but it doesn’t seem like you have a concussion?”
“Thank you, again. I'm sorry I dragged myself here. I couldn’t think of anywhere else I could get to.”
“It’s no problem Blaine, I'm happy you felt you could come here. We like Kurt a lot, and Kurt likes you, and you seem to be a nice kid,” Eddie pauses. Blaine isn’t sure what’s coming next, but there is definitely a ‘but’ coming. “But I have to ask. Does Kurt know about the hustling?” Blaine looks away, then nods. “Okay,” Eddie says. “Can I ask, have you two been getting tested?”
“What? I’m not, I don’t,” Blaine stammers, then swallows. “I’m just giving hand jobs. And I use hand sanitizer after each one. It’s actually my biggest expense after food.”
Eddie chuckles and sits back. “Oh, okay, well you should still get tested for STDs. It’s rare but not impossible to get them from a hand job, and you have no idea where any of these guys have been or who they are. And for safety’s sake Kurt should get tested too.”
“Me and Kurt, aren’t, I mean, we’re just friends. Nothing more.”
“Really?” Eddie looks skeptical. “That’s a surprise. The way he talks about you I just thought…” He doesn’t finish the sentence though, and Blaine tries not to wonder how Kurt talks about him. This is not the right time for him to think about that. “Well, okay. But you should both know where the free clinic is. So we’ll take you over there and get you taken care of. Maybe they can even do me a favor and look at your bruises.”
Blaine appreciates how Eddie is so matter of fact about everything that’s happened. There’s no judgment, just concern for his well being. He supposes that after serving in actual combat a lot of things take on a different perspective. “Thank you,” Blaine says. “For taking care of me.”
“It’s the only thing we’re on this planet to do,” Eddie tells him. “But you’re welcome all the same.”
When Buck arrives with Kurt there is general mayhem as Kurt hugs Blaine through all his bruises, all the while freaking out about what happened. Buck filled him in on the ride over, but Kurt still has questions, and Blaine answers them.
“That’s it, Blaine. I know you don’t want to spend money on a phone, but we should at least have those pay as you go kind for emergencies. I was out of my mind when you never came home last night.”
“Okay,” Blaine agrees, sniffling at how worried Kurt is, and thinking about how terrible he must have felt waiting for him. “I’m sorry Kurt.”
“And your whole face is purple. Did you break your nose?” Kurt looks up at Buck and Eddie.
“He did,” Buck answers. “Like I said, none of the injuries are terrible, but he’s going to need some rest. A couple weeks probably.”
Blaine sits up, panicking. “I can’t go a couple weeks without working.”
“You can,” Kurt tells him. “I can pay for food. We’ll be okay.” Blaine tries to protest, but Kurt shuts him down, at least for now.
When it’s time to open the shop, Blaine takes Buck and Eddie up on the offer to rest in their apartment for the day, but later, when Kurt is finished working, he insists that Kurt take him back to the nail salon to recuperate, and they splurge for a taxi to get them there. Before they leave Eddie gives him a bottle from a stash of painkillers that they have ‘for emergencies’, and Blaine promises to only take them when he’s feeling really bad.
Despite Blaine’s earlier protests, he does spend a whole week lying in bed. All of his parts hurt and the bruises are turning all sorts of unpleasant colors. He doesn’t think his ribs are broken though, and he makes sure to have Kurt tell Eddie that he doesn’t need to see a doctor or have an x-ray.
Once he feels Blaine is well enough to be left alone, Kurt takes an overnight trip to meet the trustee who has control of the money from his mother’s estate. He has to take a bus to Lima, where Kurt had lived with his parents when he was much younger.
Blaine feels guilty about messing up Kurt’s eighteenth birthday, so when Kurt returns he surprises him with a tiny cheesecake and a candle to have after dinner.
“I can’t believe you did this! Were you okay to get around?” Kurt grins when Blaine opens the box containing the cake. “I love cheesecake!”
“I wanted to find something special, you know. Better than a plain old cupcake,” Blaine tells him as he lights the candle. “You’re only eighteen once, and this is a big deal and I wanted to celebrate it. And I feel terrible for messing up your birthday by getting the crap beat out of me.”
“Blaine, I’m not happy you got beat up, but not because of my birthday, you know that right?” Kurt’s expression is serious when he says this, and Blaine nods. He does know.
“Time to make a wish,” Blaine says. Kurt looks at him and smiles, then closes his eyes, obviously thinking up a wish before he leans forward and blows, the single candle extinguishing in a breath. “What’d you wish?” Blaine asks.
“I can’t tell you that, then it won’t come true.” Kurt winks at him then slices the mini cake in two with a plastic knife, sliding half to a paper plate for Blaine. Kurt takes a bite off of his own plate, then says “If I had known about it before I might have wished for this delicious cheesecake.”
Blaine giggles, and they finish their cake and get settled in for the night. Blaine is still not up for a lot, and Kurt seems happy to keep him company in their tiny box of a home. All he really has to say about his trip is that the trust had about six thousand dollars in it, and after taxes and fees, he gets to keep close to thirty seven hundred dollars. The amount seems unfathomable to Blaine at this point in his life, but Kurt doesn’t seem phased.
“It’ll be enough for a security deposit and at least a few months rent, Blaine,” Kurt tells him as he’s falling asleep. “I’m getting us out of here.”
--
Kurt starts looking for apartments the next day. He starts with the listings for university students, figuring that anyone willing to rent to a college student isn’t going to be that picky. Blaine looks at the listings, but doesn’t go with him because they are both afraid that someone will notice that he’s only sixteen.
About a week after Blaine is feeling better he goes in to work with Kurt, and Eddie, as promised, takes them both to the free clinic. Kurt is nervous, and makes jokes about how hilarious it would be if he’d caught an STD when he’d never even kissed a boy. Blaine is terrified.
When they get their results a few days later, Kurt is happy to discover everything is completely negative. The nurse takes Blaine into a private room and lets him know that he’s tested positive for chlamydia. She gives him a prescription for antibiotics, and tells him to come back in two weeks. She promises him that it’s common and it doesn’t mean he’s done anything wrong, and he should just be more careful and use condoms all the time.
Later, he and Kurt sit in the cafe at the barbershop, and Blaine mopes. “It’s not fair that I need my parents to sign off on a work permit. I’m not the only kid out there doing this, and most of them are in much worse positions than I am. I’ve been extremely lucky. Beyond lucky.” Blaine knows how lucky he’s been, and he doesn’t take it for granted for one minute. But the past couple of weeks have put a lot of things into perspective.
“Blaine, I know you don’t want to feel helpless, but if you want to stop, I think you should stop. I have some money and we can get by for a while. Maybe Mike can help you find something? Or I can ask Buck and Eddie. They know a lot of people in the area, maybe some are like them and are willing to help out?”
“I can’t let you pay for everything. It’s not right.” Blaine knows Kurt wants to help, he just really doesn’t want to be a burden.
“I want to, please. You helped me so much when I got here, Blaine you have no idea. You’re so strong and so resourceful. It’s amazing you’ve been able to take care of yourself, by yourself, for so long. Please.” Kurt reaches across the table for Blaine’s hands. “Just think about it?”
When Blaine starts feeling stronger, he starts going back to the gym every day, and that makes him feel even better. He tries to go back out a couple of nights, but he gets spooked by a couple of encounters that make him feel unsafe, so he goes home early. Maybe he’s just not ready yet.
Kurt’s at work one morning and Blaine comes back from the gym to find a truck and three men in the parking lot of their tiny abandoned strip mall. One of the men is talking to the old man who owns the diner and it looks like they’re arguing. The other two are standing around the truck smoking cigarettes, but not doing anything else. Blaine keeps walking, past the parking lot, until he can find some place where he can watch what’s going on without being seen. It doesn’t really strike him until later that he probably could have just sat down in the diner and had something to eat until the men left.
They don’t stay long, but before they leave one of them takes a sledgehammer and casually smashes in the window of the empty shop next door to the nail salon, and Blaine’s stomach drops. When the truck has disappeared down the road Blaine rushes to the back door of the salon, letting himself in with his keys. There’s nothing inside that’s out of place, so he drops his bags and realizes then that the diner owner might know something.
The woman nods when he walks in and sits down. He orders a cup of coffee and a BLT and tries to figure out how to bring up the subject. He doesn’t have to think about it long, because the owner comes out of the kitchen with his sandwich and sets it in front of him.
“You have to go,” he says, in his heavily accented English. “They are tearing the whole place down in two weeks. You and your boyfriend need to find somewhere.” Blaine’s mouth drops open, and when he gets over the shock of learning that they’ve known he and Kurt have been living there all along, he thanks the man and eats his sandwich.
When he’s back in the salon, he calls Kurt on their emergency only phones and lets him know what's happening. Kurt panics in a manner that Blaine feels is entirely appropriate, and says he’ll be home soon.
Kurt takes the next day off of work and goes to see as many apartments as he can that are in their price range. It’s not many. He rejects a few because they’re too nosy about if he’ll have roommates, and a few more because of the credit check requirements. He rejects a few others because they can’t move in soon enough. Blaine stays at the nail salon and splits all of their belongings into things they don’t need and things they have to have, and packs up the must have items in a few backpacks and bags in case they have to leave in a hurry. Blaine is much too busy to consider going back out onto the street.
On the third day Kurt comes back, obviously excited.
“I think I found one!” he says, urging Blaine to sit down. He shows Blaine a piece of paper from the rental office. “It’s a dump, definitely, but it’s a 450 square foot studio with a full bathroom and a kitchen. There’s laundry in the basement, and it’s only four blocks from a bus stop, so I can get to work.”
Blaine takes the piece of paper, which has the studio layout and the address typed on the bottom. “How much is it?”
“$450 a month,” Kurt answers.
“So much?” The number makes Blaine nervous, but he’s pretty sure any number would make Blaine nervous.
“Honestly Blaine it's one of the cheapest I’ve seen. It’s on the far edge of the OSU campus, and the whole place is a little rickety, but I think that’s why it was available. I don’t think anyone’s going to notice you’re there, or even care really.”
Blaine takes in a deep, terrified breath. He’s scared for so many reasons. But they can’t stay where they are. “Okay,” he finally says. “Okay. Do you have to give them money or anything?”
Kurt looks relieved. “Oh thank God. I already gave them a check, I just told them I would call and confirm after I talked to my parents.” Blaine looks shocked so Kurt goes on. “I told them I was an early admit freshman and wanted to move to campus now. They didn’t seem to question it.” Kurt shrugs. “I’ll go call them now and tell them to deposit it. Once it clears we can move in.”
One week later, Buck comes to pick them up, throwing the few bags they were bringing with them into the trunk of his car for the ride over.
“How are you two doing?”
“Great!” Kurt says, but Blaine can hear the nerves in his voice.
“I’m a little nervous,” Blaine answers. Buck just hmmms and doesn’t say anything else until they get there.
“Make sure you let us know if you need anything,” Buck says as he hands them their bags, opting not to go up with them. “Me and Eddie will come over in a few weeks for dinner,” he promises before driving away.
Blaine follows Kurt up a rickety outdoor staircase to the third floor. The door there leads to a covered hallway, with three apartment doors. Kurt stops in front of 302 and keys open the door, leading Blaine into their new apartment. The carpet is clean and the walls seem to be newly painted white. There’s a small coat closet by the door, and the bathroom is full size, with a sink and a bathtub with a shower, and a window. The kitchen has a small fridge and a small stove and a sink, and about two feet of counter. The whole room isn’t more than four feet wide, but there’s a passthrough window into the studio that makes it feel bigger. The studio itself looks almost four times as big as the room they’d been living in for the past two months.
Kurt stands in the middle of the room. “What do you think?”
Blaine grins. “I think it’s amazing.”
--
Even after they’ve moved into the apartment, with Blaine not bringing in any money at all he can’t quite shake the habit of looking around campus to see what stuff the students might have thrown out. He goes digging around campus about two weeks after they’ve moved in, expecting it to be a quick scouting trip, not really expecting to find anything much. He walks around to the dorms, and behind one of them he finds what looks like the complete contents of someone’s dorm room. Furniture, a suitcase, a couple of garbage bags full of clothes. There are textbooks for chemistry and physics, a few novels that Blaine imagines were for an English class. The clothes are mostly jeans and t-shirts, but they look too big for either Blaine or Kurt. He leaves the jeans but packs a few of the t-shirts and the novels in the suitcase, figuring they might be able to use them anyway.
He can’t carry much more than the suitcase back to their room, but on his way he walks around behind another dorm, and sees a guitar case. Blaine had to leave his guitar behind, and he hasn’t had a reason to think about it much, but he feels an instant pull toward the instrument. He can’t resist opening the case, and when he finds a new looking Yamaha acoustic guitar inside, he almost cries.
He doesn’t though, and closes the case. He throws it over his shoulder, rushing toward the bus stop. He can’t wait to show Kurt.
—
Blaine spends the next week reteaching himself how to play the guitar. He’d had lessons for a while, so it all comes back to him pretty easily. Kurt brings him home some packages of new strings and he spends a day breaking them in, eventually thinking he sounds pretty good. In a fit of what he feels is inspiration he takes the guitar out to the OSU campus and parks in front of the book store, running through the half dozen songs he can remember how to play, and by the end of the day he’s got forty dollars in singles and change in his case. It makes him feel good for the first time in a while, and he resolves to learn more songs. If he can make even a little money busking around campus he could help out with some expenses. He splurges on some sheet music.
On Friday Blaine spends the entire day teaching himself as many Beatles songs as he can. He’s nailed a couple and is working on a third when Kurt comes home from work. He offers to stop while Kurt puts together something for dinner, but Kurt urges him to continue.
“I like hearing you practice,” Kurt tells him. “Music is life, you know? It makes everything brighter.” Blaine knows exactly what he means. Kurt hums along as Blaine works out the chords and the keys. “I think I know this one. Bum bum bum blackbird fly,” Kurt sings along as he makes sandwiches. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”
They stop to eat, and Blaine listens as Kurt tells him about his day. He’s been taking on clients and earning a little extra as well as tips, so he’s been in a pretty good mood lately. “You should come sing with me,” Blaine blurts out as they clear their plates.
“What? No,” Kurt protests. “I don’t sing. I mean, I can sing in the shower, or with you, but I don’t know if I could ever sing in front of people.”
Blaine shrugs one shoulder. “You have a great voice, really distinctive.” Kurt makes a face at him, but Blaine wants to be encouraging. And he wants to sing with Kurt. “No really,” Blaine insists. “Come sit, you know this one.” They sit on the bed and he hands Kurt the music so he can read the lyrics, and sits close enough to him to read the music if he needs to. After a few false starts they get through most of the song without stopping, and Kurt really seems to be enjoying it. “You sound great,” Blaine tells him. “One more time?”
“Yes, I think I got it,” Kurt says.
“You definitely got it,” Blaine answers and is rewarded by a smile.
They do it one more time. By now Blaine has the chords and doesn’t need to look at the pages, Kurt is almost there, reading along to start, but eventually taking his cues from Blaine. They are definitely connected through the music, and Blaine can’t stop watching Kurt sing. By the time they get to the end they are frozen together, Kurt leading and Blaine singing backup.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blaine swallows. It’s just them now, and he can’t stop looking at Kurt’s mouth, in his eyes. He thinks Kurt is staring at him just the same, but he’s feeling completely out of his body and has no idea if what he thinks is happening is really happening. He should say something but he doesn’t know what.
Brave Kurt, he doesn’t hesitate. “I’ve never kissed anyone.”
Blaine swallows again. “Do you want to?” Kurt nods and shifts to his knees, facing Blaine. “Do you want to kiss me?” Blaine doesn’t know why he asks, but he just has to be sure. He can’t mess this up.
“Blaine.” Kurt is staring at his mouth too, so Blaine puts down his guitar and gets to his knees. With one hand on Kurt’s cheek he holds him still, pressing his mouth against Kurt’s. Blaine can feel the fan of air across his cheek as Kurt exhales through his nose, but he doesn’t pull away. Kurt puts both his hands on Blaine’s shoulders, shifts his mouth and kisses him deeper. “Yes this,” he says in the breath between them. I want this. He doesn’t say it, but the next kiss is enough to tell him.
Kurt tugs at Blaine’s t-shirt and Blaine throws his arms in the air so he can remove it. Kurt seems to want to touch him everywhere, and Blaine wants to let him. Blaine knows Kurt knows he’s clean, since they went together for Blaine to be retested, so he doesn’t bring it up when Kurt asks if he can take Blaine’s pants off. Bllaine flops onto his back as Kurt pulls off his sweats. Kurt pulls off his own shirt, but has to stand to get out of the skinny jeans he had worn to work that day, making them both giggle. The rooms overhead lights are on, but neither one of them makes an effort to turn them off. Blaine wants to see everything Kurt wants to show him.
When they stretch out in bed together, finally, gloriously naked, Kurt does ask him, “Can I touch you? I want to.” When Blaine nods Kurt wraps his hand around Blaine’s cock and strokes. Blaine’s groan is soft, but Kurt moans loudly. “You feel good, this feels good.” He stares at Blaine’s cock, then back at his face, checking if he likes it. Blaine just nods again, he’s going to last about twelve seconds.
“Kurt,” he gasps. “I’m gonna come so fast.”
Kurt kisses him, pressing his tongue between Blaine’s parted lips. “It’s okay. We can do it again. We have all night.”
They take advantage of it. Blaine gives Kurt a hand job - something he feels very confident doing, but he kisses Kurt through the whole thing, and it’s a brand new feeling. Later, Blaine asks Kurt if he can give him a blow job and Kurt eagerly accepts. When Kurt asks Blaine what he wants, he asks Kurt if he’d be willing to finger him open, and Kurt leaps to his feet to retrieve the lube from the bathroom cabinet. The experience is intense for both of them, and Blaine makes sure that Kurt knows that when Kurt’s ready, if he wants to try it, Blaine would really like Kurt to fuck him. They both agree they want to talk about it some more before they do it, though.
They doze on and off post orgasms, though at some point in the middle of the night the intensity gets to be a lot and they slow down a little. They get up to get water and a snack around three am, and sit up on the bed next to each other.
“What was your family like? You know, before all of this?” Kurt asks. When Blaine doesn’t answer right away Kurt apologizes.
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind,” Blaine tells him, but he takes Kurt’s arm and puts it around his shoulder so he can lean into his side. “My dad was always a little strict. He and my brother never really got along, and Cooper was always looking for a reason to leave, he’d go on school trips, he went away to college. He tried to move to California but came back when he couldn't find a job. They fought every day. That summer, um, Cooper had gone to Prague to ‘find himself’” Blaine makes finger quotes, and Kurt laughs. “Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if Cooper had been home, but there’s no use thinking about that anymore, I guess.”
Kurt doesn’t say anything, but he wraps his other arm around Blaine, so Blaine goes on. “My mom was nice, you know, like a mom. I have no idea if she knew he was beating me up at the end. Or if she did how bad it had got. I like to think she was planning to leave him and we’d have got away if there had been more time.” Blaine yawns. “I don’t know, maybe she was thinking about it?” Blaine shudders awake, sitting up and collecting their empty water glasses and apple cores. “What about you? How did your parents die?”
“Well, my mom died when I was eight. I don’t remember a lot about that, but I remember people kept saying that she was ‘in a better place.’ What does that even mean? How do you tell an eight year old that his mother is better off somewhere that isn’t with him? It’s ridiculous. I cried for days, but it was as much to keep people from talking to me as it was because I was sad.”
“It was hard for a while, with just my dad,” Kurt continues. “We avoided each other for a long time. We couldn’t figure out how to communicate.” Kurt pauses as they lie down, arranging themselves to finally get some sleep. “But Burt Hummel was a great dad,” Kurt tells him. “It helped so much.
“He taught me how to fix cars, and he even let me bedazzle my name on my coveralls.” Kurt laughs as he talks, and Blaine can see Kurt’s face light up, even in the dark. “I mean, it wasn’t easy for him, but I was pretty good at fixing cars, so it gave us something to sort of bond over.” It was still hard, Kurt says, but they loved each other and they figured it out. “It worked, for a while. We had a couple of years of actual happiness.”
“He sounds amazing.”
“Then he died,” Kurt says matter of factly. “He had a heart attack during my freshman year of high school. And never woke up.”
The rest of the story Blaine knows already.
--
It’s almost two weeks before they feel like they’re ready, but they don’t waste the time in between, and can’t keep their hands off of each other when they’re alone. The first time isn’t great, Blaine is too tight, they don’t use enough lube, and Kurt comes before they can even get started. When they both wind up laughing at themselves, they opt for blow jobs in the shower, and call the night a success anyway.
--
“That was amazing Blaine.” They’d gone to see a showing of The Sound of Music at a revival house on campus, and Kurt spends the whole walk home reliving all of his favorite scenes. “Isn’t Julie Andrews just incredible? I remember my parents showed me Mary Poppins when I was a kid, but wow, it was nothing like that.”
Blaine laughs and listens to Kurt’s passionate commentary all the way back to their building, bumping shoulders every once in a while in support, or agreement, or just to touch him. They don’t touch very much in public - they know better, but Kurt is so happy and excited that Blaine can’t resist just a little, and there’s no one around but them. When they get close enough to the boarding house Blaine can’t resist any longer and pushes Kurt up against the corner of the building, away from the floodlight that lights up the entryway and the sidewalk in front of the building. He crowds a laughing Kurt until his back hits the wall, and his arms wrap around Blaine’s shoulders.
“I’m so glad you had fun,” Blaine mumbles against Kurt’s mouth before pressing a kiss against his lips. “I love you.” They kiss for a long time, tangled together against the wall, until Kurt turns his head away.
“C’mon, let’s go upstairs,” Kurt breathes, and Blaine can see the pink rise high on Kurt’s cheeks. The sex part of their relationship is still new, and Kurt does’t initiate as often as Blaine so Blaine feels an extra thrill when it happens.
“Okay.” Blaine punctuates his yes with a kiss and a grin before slipping his hand into Kurt’s. There isn’t anyone on the street to worry about.
Even so, Blaine stands behind Kurt, looking around as he unlocks the door. It’s a habit they both got into just to for security reasons - it’s not the safest neighborhood. Just as Kurt pulls the door open, someone gets out of a car that’s parked in the street twenty feet away, on the corner. Blaine tenses enough that Kurt must have felt it, because he turns in the direction Blaine is looking.
Blaine thinks he recognizes the man as he walks toward them, but the street lamp is throwing a shadow across his face.
“Blaine?” It’s not possible. That’s not his voice. “Blaine, is that you?”
Immediately Kurt gets in between the man and Blaine. They’ve run into Blaine’s former customers before, once or twice, and Kurt is always protective, even though they’d never had any trouble with them. “Fuck off. He doesn’t do that anymore,” Kurt spits.
Blaine can see his face now. He looks at Kurt and then back at Blaine. “What? Blaine I just want to talk.”
Blaine shakes his head violently, his heart beating so hard he’s sure it would crack a rib. It can’t be. It isn’t possible after all this time. Cooper.
“No.” Blaine pushes through the unlocked door, but he can hear Kurt behind him.
“If I see you again, I’ll crack your head open.” Then the door slams, trapping Cooper outside, and Blaine inside, with Kurt right behind him.
Blaine runs up the two flights of stairs to their room, shakily trying to slip his key in the lock. His head swimming so badly that he jumps when Kurt puts a hand on his and takes the keys. Once Kurt easily unlocks the door Blaine falls into their apartment, stumbling into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.
“Blaine?” Kurt calls from the other side of the wall. “You’re safe, okay?” Blaine leans heavily on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. How did Cooper even recognize him? He doesn’t even recognize himself right now. He doesn’t look anything like the boy he used to be. “Blaine?”
He doesn’t want Kurt to worry, but doesn’t want to tell him that that was his brother out there. Blaine wonders how long he’d have to stay inside for Cooper to just give up and go back to wherever he came from. Blaine has Kurt now, he doesn’t need anyone else. Not any more. Not ever again.
“I’m okay,” he says through the door. “Be right out.”
Blaine turns on the sink, splashing cold water over the tear streaks on his face, deciding Kurt could go on thinking Cooper had been an old customer. Eventually Cooper would give up, and they could go on the way they had been. In another year they’ll have enough money to move to New York City, and Blaine will never have to think about his family again. Kurt is his family now. He takes a deep breath, and then another. Then another. “Okay.”
When he opens the door Kurt is right there, pulling him into a comforting hug. He’s already taken off his jacket and his sweater and his shoes, and he smells so good. Exactly what Blaine needs.
Blaine wriggles a little, then shrugs out of his leather jacket. Before they’d been interrupted, Kurt had wanted to do something sexy. Maybe they could get back to that place.
“It’s chilly in here,” Blaine says as he pulls off his own sweater and then his t-shirt. “Wanna take a shower?” He forces a grin. The only way through is forward. Kurt could take his mind off of everything.
Kurt is looking at him questioningly, as if trying to see through the mask he has obviously put on. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
Blaine nods. “I was just surprised,” he says, relaxing into what feels like a more normal expression. “It was unexpected.”
Kurt hmmmed, then steps in for a careful, closed mouth kiss. “If you’re sure then.”
They help each other undress throwing their clothes out through the bathroom door. Blaine gets the water ready with Kurt behind him, running a hand over his back. Blaine is more grateful for the connection than he can say.
The shower stall is barely big enough for the two of them, but there’s enough room for them to touch each other, and Blaine wants so much to show Kurt how much it means that he was there for him. Once they had finished soaping each other up and rinsing off, Blaine wraps a still soapy hand around Kurt’s cock, slowly at first, working up to the speed he knew would get Kurt off. Blaine focuses all of his thoughts on Kurt’s soft moans, his gasping breaths as he gets closer to coming. This is all that matters. Him and Kurt together, their plans, their future. When Kurt is about to come, Blaine pulls him in for a fierce kiss, Kurt biting hard on Blaine’s lip as he releases over Blaine’s pumping fist
“God Blaine.” Kurt pulls him back, connecting their mouths.
They embrace under the water for a while, but when Kurt reaches for Blaine’s cock Blaine pushes him away with a desperate plea, “Want you inside me.” They have only done it the one time, since they were both pretty satisfied with each other’s hands and mouths, and getting each other off in other ways, but Blaine really wants it right now. “Is that okay? Do you want to?” Kurt had been nervous the first time.
“Yes, yeah. Okay.” Kurt pulls his face up for a deep kiss. “But I’m gonna need a minute,” he says with a grin.
Blaine laughs and kisses him. “You always say that.” But Blaine knows Kurt can get hard again quickly, and he wants Kurt to fuck him for a long time.
They dry quickly with the same towel, and Kurt throws their biggest towel over the bed. It had become their ‘sex towel’ and Blaine couldn’t help but giggle at the thought. They get on the bed and kiss for a while, waiting for their chilled wet skin to get used to the air temperature in their room. Blaine’s erection has flagged, but once he can feel Kurt’s body start to warm he gets hard again quickly. Kurt rolls him onto his back, kisses down his chest, nipping at his slightly goose pimpled flesh. Then Kurt rubs his cock and licks at the head before swallowing him with a choked moan.
“Oh god, nnnnn I don’t want to come yet.” Blaine tugs at Kurt's hair and Kurt pulls off with a slurp and stares up at Blaine.
“I know.” Kurt wraps his wet lips around Blaine’s swollen cock and sucks gently. “You taste good though” Kurt reaches for the lube and condoms, sitting up between Blaine’s parted legs, pressing up on his thigh. “Ready?”
“Wait.” Blaine sits up, then turns so he was on his stomach. “Can we do it like this?” He hears Kurt swallow, then feels him crawl up until he’s on all fours, hovering over Blaine’s back. Blaine sighs happily.
Without another word Kurt kisses his shoulder, his spine, his ribs, slowly working his way down. Kurt keeps one hand on Blaine’s hip, nudging him a little once his mouth reaches the upper curve of Blaine’s ass cheek. Blaine crossed his arms and rests his forehead on them just as the feel of Kurt’s breath on his skin relaxes him. When Kurt finally spreads his ass cheeks and kisses just above his hole he gasps, hitching his hips back until Kurt rubs gently over his hole. Blaine pushes against him for more pressure and can feel the pad of Kurt’s finger press in.
“Okay okay,” Kurt teases. Blaine hears Kurt opening the bottle and the squelch of the lube. “Relax, okay?” Blaine flinches at the cool feeling of Kurt’s wet finger as it presses against his hole, and he shifts one leg trying to open up further for it.
“I’m not gonna break,” he mumbles into his arm. “Just one finger, then please, fuck me Kurt.” Kurt presses in and Blaine pushes back, swallowing Kurt’s finger, but it’s not enough. One finger is barely anything, though, just a tickle of an itch he doesn’t know yet how to scratch himself. Kurt pulls his finger back, pressing against Blaine’s rim in a circular motion until Blain can’t stand the teasing any longer.
“You sure you don’t want two?” Kurt asks.
“Just, fuck me with your finger.” Blaine reaches behind, grasping for Kurt’s wrist and holding it as he presses back, then fucks himself on the single digit. He hears Kurt breathing hard as he catches on, barely moving his finger as Blaine fucks himself.
“You look so hot Blaine, I want -” Blaine whines when Kurt pulls out his finger, but he can hear Kurt tear the condom wrapper open and watches over his shoulder as Kurt rolls it down his shaft and pours more lube over himself and - spreading him open - down Blaine’s crack.
Blaine knows how big Kurt is, how much bigger than a finger he’s going to feel. Kurt pulls Blaine up by his hips, spreading his cheeks and rubbing his condom covered cock between them and Blaine exhales, his head down and his ass up. He feels the fat head of Kurt’s cock press against his hole, spreading him open as he pushes in. “Relax baby,” Kurt says, rubbing one cheek and leaning over Blaine until he’s just guiding the weight of his own body down as he bottoms out inside of him. “Oh god,” he moans. “God, you feel good.”
Blaine moves, and they both catch a rhythm as Kurt starts to fuck him, moaning but not saying much. Kurt doesn’t talk a lot when they have sex, but he moans and makes desperate needy noises that make Blaine feel wanted; right now, through the sound of the wet slap of their bodies coming together that’s enough.
Kurt stops to add more lube, and when he pushes back inside he presses Blaine down to the mattress and fucks him hard and fast, grunting as he thrusts into him. Blaine comes with his cock trapped between his belly and the bed, and as his body goes limp he hears Kurt groan into his own orgasm, though he can’t feel much of anything by then, other than Kurt collapsing on top of him.
Blaine would be happy to lie like that all night, Kurt’s body draped over Blaine and his cock inside of him. But it’s sticky, and Kurt starts to wriggle, so he just moans, can’t move yet and Kurt carefully pulls out with a quiet so don’t move and he cleans them both, before rolling Blaine to his side and using the towel to wipe the come from Blaine’s stomach.
“How do you feel?” Kurt asks. Blaine gives him a sleepy thumbs up. “Uh uh.” Kurt flops on the bed next to Blaine.
“Good. I feel good.” Blaine leans forward and kisses Kurt. “And you? How do you feel?” Blaine is trying to hide a smile, but he stops trying when Kurt grins at him.
“Great. That was um…” Kurt pauses, pretending he can’t find the words until Blaine gives him a shove. “Amazing. God you’re really hot,” Kurt says, then dissolves into giggling.
Then, because he can't stop himself and he wants Kurt to know. He’s thought it more than once, but has never said it. “I love you.”
Kurt blinks, surprised but clearly pleased. He says it back. “I love you too.”
--
Blaine almost forgets about Cooper, and he isn’t thinking about him when he leaves the next morning with his guitar. Busking hasn’t been making him rich, but he has more good days than bad, and he enjoys it. He’s startled when he sees Cooper is leaning against a parked car directly in front of their apartment building. Blaine makes a sharp left and starts walking. He can hear footsteps behind him.
“Blaine, please talk to me.”
Blaine feels like he can’t breathe, but he doesn’t stop and he doesn’t turn around. Not until he feels a hand on his shoulder, then he turns and swings, but Cooper is tall, and he barely connects with his shoulder.
“Get the fuck away from me!” He screams, shoving Cooper now, as much to get leverage as to push him away.
“Blaine I have been looking for you for months! Please, just - I want to take you home.”
That’s too much. “Home?” He finally turns, facing Cooper, unable to stop crying. “What are you talking about? I am home. My home is here.” Blaine wipes his face with one sleeve.
“No, Blaine - I’m sorry I wasn’t there, that I couldn’t -” Cooper actually looks like he’s in agony, but Blaine isn’t really all that interested in being understanding. “I have been looking for you for six months.”
Blaine chokes out a humorless laugh. “Why? Do you even know what he did? What happened to me? Why would you bother looking for me?”
“How can you say that? Blaine I’m your brother, I love you.” Blaine rolls his eyes, but Cooper goes on. “And Dad’s gone, out of the picture.”
“Right.”
“Mom threw him out, the minute she found out you were gone - what he did.” Blaine wraps his arms around himself. He had put all of that - all of them - behind him. He didn’t need this, now or ever. “Can we at least talk?”
Blaine bites his tongue, shaking his head in disbelief. “I have to go,” he says. “Don’t follow me.” He leaves Cooper standing on the street, but he doesn’t hear footsteps as he walks away.
--
Cooper Anderson watches his little brother walk away. At least he had made contact, and he knows Blaine was alive and okay, as far as he can tell. He can call their mom and tell her that. It’s something, at least.
And he knows where Blaine lives. He can wait him out. Cooper isn’t sure he will ever forgive himself for not being there when Blaine needed him. He knew their dad was an asshole, but he never imagined he could do something as cruel as what he did.
As he walks back to his car, wondering what he can do that will get Blaine to at least listen to him, he spots another boy exiting the apartment building’s stairwell. He could be the same boy Cooper had seen Blaine with the night before. He’s taller than Blaine, and slim, with a bright pink streak through his well styled hair.
“Hey, excuse me,” Cooper calls out.
Kurt turns in Cooper’s direction, and Cooper can see from the look on his face that he recognizes him from the night before. “What do you want?” He takes a step toward Cooper. “I told you to fuck off last night. Blaine doesn’t do that anymore, and if I see you around here again I’m calling the police.”
“I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m Blaine’s brother, Cooper. Cooper Anderson.” The boy’s eyes go wide, and his expression changes and there's less anger in it, but he’s looking at Cooper even more cautiously now than before. “Has he mentioned me? Did he tell you he has a brother? And a family that’s looking for him?”
“Prove it.”
“What?”
“Blaine did not want to talk to you. So I don’t know why I should. Prove you are who you say you are, and I’ll hear you out.”
“Yeah, yes - yes here,” Cooper babbles as he pulls out his wallet and a handful of photos. “Here’s my driver’s license, and credit cards - all of them with my name - Cooper Anderson. And these are Blaine, when he was younger, last year’s team photo - he played baseball, you know.”
The kid is quiet, looking at the pictures of Blaine when he was younger, happier, different. “I have to go to work,” he says.
“Do you want a ride? I can drive you anywhere.”
“Ha, no, no way am I getting into a car with you.” Kurt snorts, looking Cooper up and down. “I’m walking to the bus stop. It’s four blocks. You have that much time to convince me that Blaine should talk to you.”
--
When Blaine gets home later that evening, Kurt is in the kitchen making something up for dinner. Living together is still new and they like to have dinner together whenever they can. It’s usually just sandwiches or a salad with tons of vegetables, but they have both been talking about expanding their cooking skills, now that soup in a cup is not their only option.
Blaine drops his bag on the floor in its designated space, and pops over to the kitchen window to see what Kurt’s making tonight.
“Looks good,” Blaine says. He had managed to forget about Cooper all day, but now that he’s home he can’t stop from thinking about that morning’s interaction. At least Cooper hadn’t been outside waiting when Blaine had got home. “What’re you making?”
Kurt looks over his shoulder with a smile. “Just tomato soup, no biggie. But you get to pick your sandwich - tuna, peanut butter and jelly, or grilled cheese.”
“Ooh. Grilled cheese please. Do I have time to wash the outside off of me?”
“Oh gross.” Kurt makes a face, but keeps stirring the soup. “Please do.”
By the time Blaine gets out of the shower Kurt had already set food out on the counter, so he pulls on his pajama bottoms and hops on the barstool. Kurt sits across from him, in the kitchen. “Thanks for cooking.”
“Any time,” Kurt assures him.
Blaine swallows a bite. “Well, I still appreciate it. And you.”
Kurt bats his eyelashes. “Why thank you.” Kurt pauses to polish off a bite of his sandwich, then goes on. “I hope you still appreciate me after what I’m about to tell you.”
Blaine wipes his mouth and hands on a napkin and sits back. He and Kurt have talked about their future, and how they want to spend it together, at least as much as either of them can think ahead. Blaine tries not to worry about what will happen if Kurt changes his mind, but he can’t help it. He doesn’t think that’s what this is about, and he trusts Kurt more than anyone, but Blaine worries all the same. .
“What’s going on?” Blaine asks. His voice cracks a little, and he hopes Kurt doesn’t notice. Kurt avoids his eyes when he answers.
“I, um, shit.” Kurt pauses. “I hope you won’t be angry with me - I don’t want you to be, but I spoke to your brother this morning.” Kurt stops, waiting for Blaine to react.
Blaine can’t say anything. He slides off the bar stool and takes the few steps across the room, pacing back and hugging himself. “Kurt, how?” He wants to ask more, but he isn’t sure what exactly. And he knows how.
“It just kind of happened. I was leaving for work and he stopped me. I offered to kick his ass if he didn’t leave, but he told me he was our brother.” Kurt shrugs, helpless. “I couldn’t -- I asked him to prove it.”
Blaine nods to himself, listening to Kurt explain. “And?”
“He wants to talk. He says things are different. And he asked me to ask you.”
“Ask me what?” Blaine had an idea what Cooper wanted the minute he saw him. But Blaine isn’t going back. Not ever. Kurt is home now.
“He asked if -- if you would just talk to him. It sounds like things are a lot different now, and,” Kurt pauses, as if looking for the right words. “Wouldn't it be nice, to be with your family? To feel safe again?”
“You are my family Kurt. You.” Blaine unwraps his arms, hanging them by his side as he goes on. “When my dad was beating the crap out of me last summer no one did anything. Cooper was gone, and my mom… did she even notice? What am I supposed to do? Accept an apology? I wouldn’t know how to do that.”
“Okay,” Kurt gives in, stepping toward Blaine and wrapping him in a hug that Blaine falls into. “Okay.” They stand there just hugging, and Blaine doesn’t want to let go. He doesn’t want anything to change. He’s not ready. Kurt sighs with his whole body, and Blaine knows this discussion isn’t over.
Kurt seems to drop the subject though, so Blaine tries to put all thoughts of Cooper and going home out of his mind.
It’s not easy.
--
Blaine is coming home a week later and spots Cooper, again leaning against a parked car.
“Hi,” Cooper says. Blaine just glares at him and heads for the stairwell. . “Can we talk?”
Blaine starts to say no. He doesn’t want to talk to Cooper. He wants him to go away and for everything to go back the way it was. “If I talk to you will you go away and leave me alone?” He can see Cooper hesitate, like he isn’t going to stop or give up there. But he nods once. “Fine. Come with me.”
“Have you eaten? Can I order a pizza or anything?”
Blaine cuts him off. “No. I don’t want anything from you.” Cooper recoils a fraction, but follows Blaine up the stairs. When they get to the third floor Blaine stops and turns to look at Cooper. “I have to go in and tell Kurt you’re here, so hang on here a minute.”
“Hi,” Kurt says as Blaine enters the apartment. Kurt’s in the kitchen cutting things, and he hasn’t changed from his work clothes, so he’s in skinny jeans and one of his body skimming vests over a t-shirt. He looks gorgeous. Blaine pulls Kurt into a long kiss. “Did I do something special? What was that for? Are we celebrating something?”
Blaine lets go of Kurt and sighs. “No. We’re not celebrating anything. The opposite, actually. Cooper is outside in the hallway
“What?”
“He was waiting outside when I got home.” Blaine shrugs. “Whatever. I figured if he’s not going to give up then I should talk to him, then maybe he'll go away or at least just, send postcards or something less aggravating than showing up at random places in my life. Is it okay if he comes in?” Kurt frowns. “I’m sorry, I just, I didn’t want to talk to him by myself. I wanted you to be there with me. Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course, it’s fine.” Kurt kisses him on the forehead and takes an extra plate out of the cabinet. “I know you feel differently, and I respect that, but I feel like -- if your family is still around…”
“I know.” And Blaine does know. He and Kurt have discussed how different their families were, and how much support Kurt got from his dad more than once. And while Kurt understands how their different circumstances make Blaine so wary of contact, Blaine knows that Kurt thinks it’s worth it to try. At least with his brother.
“Do you want to leave him out there?”
“Yes,” Blaine says, but he opens the door and lets Cooper in anyway.
Cooper is standing right there when Blaine opens the door. “Come on in,” Blaine says, as he steps aside to let Cooper in.
Blaine watches as Cooper takes in their small apartment, which suddenly feels smaller with Cooper staring at everything. Blaine looks around: at the plastic bins they use instead of closet storage, the mattress on the floor in the corner, and the lube and condoms out in the open right next to it. They don’t have a television or a computer - although Kurt’s been saving up to buy a used laptop. They both just don’t like to spend any more money than they have to. They have what they need to get by, for now.
“We only have two stools,” Kurt says, breaking the semi-awkward silence as he brings the one from the kitchen around to the other side. “We don’t do a lot of entertaining. You can sit, Cooper. I’ll stand.” He pats the seat of the stool then walks back into the kitchen. He’s set out the plates of salads on the counter, and Blaine hops up on his stool.
“Okay. Thanks.” Cooper sits, but he seems less sure of himself than he had earlier in the day. “Salad?”.
“I don’t like to eat anything heavy at night,” Blaine says. Before Cooper can make any more small talk, Blaine continues. “You wanted to talk, so rather than me assuming what you have to say, why don’t you say it. Then you can leave.”
Cooper looks a bit startled, which to be honest has pretty much been his reaction to anything Blaine has said since he first showed up.
“Okay. I’ll just be direct then. We have been looking for you since Dad -”
“Abandoned me in the street?”
Cooper looks uncomfortable, but nods. “Mom knew there was something going on, and she was going to do something about it,” Blaine snorts his disbelief, but doesn’t say anything. “When she got home and you were gone she called the police. Dad tried to tell everyone that you had run away, but the truth came out pretty quickly. He spent about a day in jail, but he got out. Mom called me and I came home as fast as I could, but by then we had no idea where even to start.”
“So how did you find me?” It’s the one question Blaine really wants the answer to.
“Oh,” Cooper fishes into his pocket for a folded up piece of paper and hands it to Blaine. It’s a Planet Fitness mailer, addressed to him, at his home address. “These were coming to the house. I think mom was just throwing them out with the regular junk mail, but about four months ago the detective who was helping us saw a few of them on the dining room table.”
Blaine stares at the mailer in his hand. “Huh,” he says, handing the mailer to Kurt, who looks at it, but sets in on the counter.
“Yeah, well, it was kind of a miracle. He sent your photo to the main office and they had records of you visiting the locations here in Columbus, and they recognized you. They said they hadn’t seen you in a few weeks though, so we thought we had missed our chance. But they had you,” Cooper looks at Kurt, “listed as a guest. So he started looking for both of you. You just turned eighteen?” Kurt nods slowly and looks at Blaine. “Your info started getting hits around the beginning of March. Eventually we found you here.”
Blaine looks at Kurt, who mouths I’m sorry, but Blaine shakes his head. “Don’t be.” He looks back at Cooper. “Okay, so you’ve found me. I’m fine. What do you want now?”
“Well, Mom would like you to come home. I would like you to come home. We miss you and want to take care of you, you’re still only sixteen Blaine.” Blaine huffs at that. “I know you’ve been through a lot -”
“You really don’t have any idea Coop,” Blaine interrupts.
“I know. Mom knows too, we just want you home.”
“And Dad?”
“Gone. Divorce was final last month. She kept the house, and a sizable portion of his assets. He was charged with abandoning you and paid a fine. I think he’s managing some hedge fund somewhere. But Mom has enough to take care of herself, and you.”
Blaine doesn’t ask any more about his dad. He’s not sure he wants to know, isn’t sure it even matters at this point. “What if I don’t want to come home?” He hears Kurt’s sharp inhale, but doesn’t look at him. “We just moved in. We have a lease.” Blaine doesn’t mention that it’s month to month.
“We’ll pay it in full,” Cooper answers. “Blaine, you’re still a minor. You may be making it work now, but what happens when you never finish high school? How do you go to college, get a job? I know there are things you want, don’t let this terrible mistake take them from you.” Cooper looks at Kurt, but he just shakes his head.
“Not my decision,” Kurt says. Blaine says nothing, but goes back to eating his salad in silence. Cooper hasn’t touched his at all.
“Is that all,” Blaine asks after several long minutes.
Cooper shifts on his stool. “Yes.” Then he adds, “Please Blaine.”
“I’ll think about it,” Blaine says, and he can tell Kurt is surprised and Cooper is disappointed. “But I think you should leave now.
“Do you want that to go?” Kurt asks, and Blaine loves him just a little bit more.
Cooper leaves them his phone number and the number of the hotel he’s currently staying at, and Blaine thanks him, but doesn’t promise to call or get in touch by any specific time. Once he’s gone, Blaine sits on the stool under the kitchen window and watches Kurt clean up.
“I know what you’re going to say,” he tells Kurt’s back. Kurt nods but doesn’t turn around. “But can we have sex first?”
Kurt turns around and gives him an unimpressed smirk. “Is that how you’re planning on dealing with all of your difficult decisions?” Blaine shrugs. “Fine! I agree to your terms,” Kurt throws his arms in the air in mock-defeat as he steps out of the kitchen, then wraps his arms around Blaine’s shoulders. “But we’re going to talk about this after.”
--
Blaine is lying on his back, his legs feeling like jelly. “You’re really good at that, you know,” he tells Kurt, who is hovering over him on all fours. Kurt leans down to kiss him, but when he pulls back his expression is sad. “Okay,” Blaine says, turning his head away so he doesn’t have to see Kurt be sad. “But I want to stay here. With you.”
“I know.” Kurt flops down next to Blaine, but rests a hand on Blaine’s stomach. Blaine loves the connection as his breathing slows. “But Blaine, you have an opportunity to not have the bad thing that happened to you follow you for the rest of your life. You can finish high school, go to college.”
“I don’t want those things without you.”
“I want to be there for them. But I think you need to find your way back to your family without me around. It’s not going to be easy.”
Blaine sits up wrapping his arms around his knees as he looks around their tiny apartment. “I love it here,” he says.
“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice is gentle as he sits up and plays with Blaine’s hair. Blaine doesn’t want to cry now. “I saw a mouse in the bathtub this morning.”
“You are terrible,” Blaine says, and hits him with a pillow. “But I love you.”
Blaine has conditions. He’s getting a tutor for the summer and gets to go back to Dalton for his senior year; they give the landlord three months rent; Cooper gives Kurt five thousand dollars so he has money to go to New York and when he graduates from Dalton he will be allowed to go to New York for college. Cooper agrees to all of them.
Kurt is less cooperative, telling Blaine that he wants to give Blaine the opportunity to change his mind. Blaine insists that he won’t, and they have their first fight over this, with Blaine accusing Kurt of abandoning him. They both cry a lot, but Kurt promises to write to Blaine regularly to let him know he is okay and happy. Kurt also promises that after Blaine finishes high school he will send him all of his information, so they can see each other when Blaine gets to New York, if he even still wants to. It’s not enough, but Blaine accepts it.
Reentry into his old life is harder than Blaine expects. He sees a therapist four days a week to start, then two days once he goes back to Dalton. His mother is elated to have him home, but their relationship is strained, and never really gets better. His relationship with Cooper thrives, and they grow closer than Blaine had ever hoped they’d be. Blaine hopes that in time he’ll be able to forgive his mother more, but he doesn’t put a time limit on it.
Dalton is...okay. Some of his old friends ask what happened, and he skimps on the details. He finds out that Kyle’s dad sent him to military school, and Blaine cires a little for his friend, and wonders if he got the better deal, as bad as it was. Blaine dates a couple of boys because he thinks he should, but other than fairly chaste kissing nothing happens with either of them. All the while Kurt is sending him postcards, checking in. Blaine can see in the messages Kurt writes that he’s trying to give Blaine space, not make any commitments. Blaine understands why, but by the time he graduates - with honors - Blaine is more ready than ever to make the move to New York.
As promised, a month before Blaine leaves Ohio he receives a letter, including Kurt’s current address and a cell phone number, and an invitation to call him as soon as he’s ready. Blaine carries the letter with him everywhere.
Once he’s there he’s less sure. New York is big and it’s been a year. A lot can change, and Blaine knows he has changed a lot. Kurt is there, he knows, in the city where he now lives. He doesn’t know if Kurt has seen anyone else in the past year, or if he’s seeing someone now. He doesn’t think that Kurt would have sent him the invitation if he had a boyfriend, but Blaine doesn’t know. A lot can change in a year.
In late September he’s got some free time, the new friends he’s made are busy with homework or other things, so Blaine takes a walk toward Christopher Street. He stops outside the Stonewall Inn, reading the plaques and signs outside. He’s not even eighteen yet, so it’ll be a while before he can go inside. He walks around the West Village, feeling nervous and comfortable at the same time. After about half an hour of casual strolling, he passes a barber shop. It’s not like the one in Columbus, but it reminds him of it just the same, only with a cooler, New York feel. He decides that he could use a haircut.
There’s a few customers and a couple of stylists sitting and milling around inside. The guy at the counter is nice, good looking with a bit of a gym rat vibe, and he leads Blaine to a chair, not at all subtly checking him out on the way.
“Someone will be right with you honey,” he says to Blaine, patting him on the shoulder before he disappears into the back. Blaine nods and chews his bottom lip.
The first thing he notices is gold lamé pants in the mirror. Then a black shirt, and a hand holding scissors and a rat tail comb. When he looks up, Blaine can see the shock on both of their faces. The pink in his hair is now a deep magenta, and the ring in his lip is gone but Kurt is looking back at him in the mirror.
“Oh my god.”
Before Blaine can say anything or even move Kurt spins the chair around, practically shrieking. “Blaine!”
Before he has time to second guess himself, Blaine launches himself out of the chair and into Kurt’s arms, and the tightest, most comforting hug he’s ever experienced. The other men in the shop are starting to stare, but it doesn’t matter. “Is there any reason I shouldn’t kiss you?” he asks Kurt. But one look at Kurt’s face and he knows the answer already.
“None at all,” Kurt answers. So Blaine kisses him, and neither of them can stop smiling. Everyone in the shop is gathering around them, and Blaine can hear them hooting and asking questions.
“Is that him?”
“It can’t be! Kurt!”
“Did he say Blaine,? Kurt, Is that your Blaine?”
They both stop kissing and start laughing.
“Yes,” Kurt says, his grin so wide Blaine wants to cry. “This is my Blaine.”