Chapter Text
“I need you to do a favor for me.”
Aranea sighs into her phone. Its always trouble or duty when her biological mom, known as Mom or Mama M, calls, never a pleasant chat like she has with her stepmom, Mom D.
“Please, allow me to be even more long suffering.”
“I need you to take your sisters to Universal Studios next Wednesday.”
And at first, Aranea doesn’t think that will be so bad. A theme park with rides, heart stopping food, lots of stores, and shows that are mostly just an excuse to use flares and special effects. She doesn't think it would be so bad until she remembers who her sisters are.
“Why can’t Kanaya watch Vriska? How old are they now, 16 and 14? If there was anyone that could keep her out of trouble its Kanaya.” She sinks into her desk chair, kicks off her red boots, and curls her legs onto the chair under. She needs to relax to even begin to have this conversation.
“And you know,” her mom replied a little to understandably, “if it was just Kanaya and Vriska, it would work. But I’m allowing them to each bring a friend, Rose and Terezi.” It didn’t need stating who was bringing whom.
“Ok, A) what did you do to have to bribe them with Universal B) How was it so bad that you’re paying for them to bring a ‘friend’,” that her mother was using Universal Studios as a bribe was as implied as the quotation marks around friend. “And C) and D) when will Kanaya and Rose break up and when will Vriska and Terezi ever get together?”
“If you must know, they may or may not have walked in on me and Mama D having sex,” her mother continued to talk over the muffled screech that came across the line, “as for Rose and Terezi, well they are basically family, we’ve had them over for too many X-mists, doesn't really matter who is dating who at this point. Although I will destroy Rose if she crushes Kanaya’s heart. Nothing personal, just have to protect my girls.” She reclined in her own desk chair, propping her feet up in the corner of a filing cabinet, her wife scowling at the papers crumpling under her foot.
“But to bring us back to the original point, why do they need me to watch them? Kanaya is responsible.”
“Let me repeat. Rose and Terezi. So Kanaya and Rose flit off somewhere doing whatever they do and hopefully don't get caught this time.”
“I wonder where their penchant for illicit public sex comes from.”
“andandAND,” roars her mom to drown out the snark, “do you understand how much of a little shit your youngest sister is? Do you understand how many times I’ve had to bribe or threaten to use my lawyers to get Vriska and Terezi out of the consequences they've caused?”
“You know, making them face said consequences might actually be a benefit,” Aranea responded, fiddling with them hem of her blue dress as she posed the unimaginable. A huff across the line. She could imagine her mom flicking her mane of blonde hair over her shoulder.
“And let that, that Attorney” she couldn't bring herself to say Terezi’s mother’s name in her agitation, “have the satisfaction? No. Never.”
“Someday you two are going to have hate sex, or you’ll just get over her suing you for that patent infringement. My bet is on the sex.”
“I hope you have children as petulant as you.” Her voices was ice, Mom D looked over with concern but Mom M just waved her worry away. “Look. Will you do this or not.”
“What about Porrim?”
“Out of the country. And, knowing her, would probably encourage them to ‘stick-it-to-the-man’ or whatever euphemism amounts to the same thing.”
“What about you or Mom D?”
“Do you know how cool we are?”
“Well, objectively, you are a would famous professor with a robotic arm and an eye patch. Mom D is a retired bodyguard now survival instructor. So pretty cool.”
“Do you know how cool we are to our children?”
“Between your pirate persona, Mindfang, and Mama D’s overbearing mom act, no. Not cool. Not at all.”
“So.”
“I can’t afford it. I have university.”
“Don’t be stupid. Of course I’m paying for you. Yes food, gas, whatever. And skip the lecture. Get your friends to record it or something! You’re smart.”
“Fine. Because I am the best daughter, and you wouldn’t know what to do without me. And I do love my sisters, so yes. I will help you get out of trouble this time.”
“Finally.”
“Dropping them off the night before or the morning of?”
“Your choice, oh generous daughter of mine.”
Aranea takes a moment to reflect on the last Christmas where someone had thought up the bright idea of waking up everyone early for delightful ‘family breakfast,’ probably Mom D with her overly optimistic, maternal side. How that woman was a successful bodyguard is beyond me, Aranea mused. Terezi and Kanaya were pleasant enough, if Terezi’s over energetic enthusiasm can be counted as pleasant. But it was far preferred to the surliness and death glares that emanated off Rose and Vriska.
“The night before, that way they don’t have to wake at 6 am. Anything to avoid dealing with verbal abuse, curses, and having things thrown at me. For teenagers, Vriska and Rose can be far too intimidating.”
“Hey, at least you don't have to live here anymore. Smart move absconding to LA.”
They arrange the finer details of the visit, Mom D insists on talking to Aranea because, “I haven’t checked in on her in days, and I just want to make sure she got the books I ordered for her, and I just want to see how she is doing,” and finally Aranea is able to hang up, change into pajamas and try and ignore all the ways that this could go wrong.