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"So let me get this straight."
Healer Leila, the Dean of Healers Collegium, would quite like to smack her head against the wall a few times, but it would be both unprofessional and injurious, so she settled for rubbing her forehead instead.
She dropped her hand and faced the errant trainee. "You decided you didn't want your breasts."
"Well, I never really wanted them," Daniel said. He was propped up in his bed, wrapped in his Trainee greens, a little understandably pale, but otherwise as bright and talkative as always. "I didn't mind them exactly but then they just got so..." He gestured uselessly for a moment. "Don't yours ever annoy you?"
Yes, but Leila was not about to tell an errant student that. "You chose to remove them."
"Yes," he said. "It seemed easy. I mean, we remove tumors all the time, and I got that one in Master Galenan's gut, you remember, it was cutting off the blood supply, and it was much more rooted in than breasts are. They're just sacks of fat, when you really think about it--"
"And blood," Leila cut him off, "and milk ducts, and nerves, which you certainly could have damaged."
"Oh, probably," Daniel said, "but it's not as if I need much feeling in my chest. I can just look down and see if I have a gushing chest wound."
Leila rubbed her forehead again. "Or, more importantly, an infection."
"It's not infected," he said. "I know what an infection looks like. It's healing fine."
"I'm sure it is." Daniel was actually very diligent about proper surgical procedure and following up with his patients, which was at least half of what made this situation so irritating. "Daniel, do you understand why everyone's upset?"
He shook his head. "Not really. They were my breasts."
Leila very nearly snapped at him. She took a deep breath instead. "It's not about the breasts, Daniel, it's about the surgery."
"Oh?" It wasn't fair how his round and cheerful face could look so wounded. "Why? I was very careful."
"How many people do you need to do surgery, Daniel?" she asked, trying to be as patient as she could. "At a minimum."
He frowned. "Uh, one."
"Two, Daniel," she said, reining in her temper. "Two. The surgeon and the patient. You will note they are not the same person."
"They can be," Daniel said, in the tones of one pointing out the very reasonable and obvious. "I mean, I did it."
"Daniel." This time Leila did snap, the thread of her patience broken. "You could have cut an artery by accident and bled out before anyone could even find you! This was an incredibly stupid stunt and you are never to do anything like that ever again, do you hear me? We don't have so many Healers that we can afford to lose you and certainly not being such an idiot."
He opened his mouth, shut it again, then said, "I understand. But you never would have approved the surgery."
She sighed. He did, unfortunately, have a point. "Probably not, no. Not untested, anyway."
"But that's the thing," Daniel said. "It needed to be tested and I really wanted them gone. And it works just fine, you can see that. So now we can make people like me more comfortable. Also, if we have a patient who's got a tumor in their breast, we can just amputate the breast instead of trying to excise the tumor or have someone try to Heal them and fail." He shrugged. "It's useful, Healer Leila. I'm not sorry I did it."
"I know you aren't," she said, then made herself say those two little words. "You're right. Figuring out a safe way to remove breasts isn't something you should be sorry for. But, Daniel, can you at least try to be sorry for going about it in the worst possible way?"
Daniel shrugged, then winced. "Suppose I could've asked someone to watch."
"Suppose you could have," Leila said, very dryly. "You're confined to the Collegium and Palace grounds for the foreseeable future." He was healing, so it wasn't the worst punishment that could have been inflicted, but Daniel did get restless so hopefully it would have some effect. Now for the other part. "That said. The Healer's Circle has decided that inventing a safe-- as far as we know-- and effective way to remove breast tissue suffices to put you into your Greens."
His eyes got big, and he pushed himself up a little, away from the pillows propping him up. "I... what? You're making me a full Healer?"
"Yes," she said. "But do not take this as encouragement. We're rewarding the method, not the surgery. And if I ever catch you doing something that stupid ever again I will have you thrown back to the first year of training so fast your head will spin."
"Yes, ma'am," Daniel said, a beaming smile of truly angelic proportions spreading across his round face. "I promise I won't."
Leila resigned herself to shenanigans.