Work Text:
Did you stand there all alone?
Oh I cannot explain what’s going down
I can see you standing next to me
In and out, somewhere else right now
You sigh, look away
I can see it clear as day
Close your eyes so afraid
Hide behind your baby face
Jensen just came out of an 12 hour shoot, today was for a Dean-heavy episode. He was spent and could hear his bed calling his name, all he wanted to do was going home, eating something quickly and finally going to bed. But the sight before him let him pause. There he stood in the dark all alone, Jared seemed to be in another world, seemed like he didn’t hear or see anything around him, just standing there breathing in and out deep breaths. Jensen didn’t know what was going on, Jared was like that for over a week now, secluded in a way Jensen didn’t know from him and it scared the hell out of the older one. He walked over to his friend who glanced sideways seeing him but he looked away quickly sighing and closing his eyes. Jensen had no idea what happened to this beautiful and outgoing man he called his best friend. He'd withdrawn from all the people around him, especially him. „Hey Jay what're you doing here ?“ Jensen asked in a soft tone. Jared opened his eyes and hold eye contact, just for a fleeting moment, and nearly replied so quietly that Jensen had to strain his ears „I had to do some dub-over“ It was so wrong hearing Jared so still and timid because Jared was loud and hyper just like a puppy and that was something Jensen loved about him, it made his day so much better just having a happy and loud Jared around him, but this version of his friend terrified Jensen. And yes you heard just right, because Jensen loved his best friend, no not just loved because everybody who knows Jared could just love him, his warm and loving personality, his sense of humor and the fact that he would do just anything for the people around him. No Jensen was in love with Jared, these feelings came slowly but forcefully. But nobody was aware of his feelings because he had to hide them, Jared was as straight as they came and it was not good for him to feel this way about him, it was really hard to see Jared happy with Sandy but he couldn’t change how he felt, all he could do is enjoying the best friendship he ever had and probably ever will have. That’s why it is so hard for him to see Jared so devastated. „You wanna share a ride home maybe?“ he asked softly and all he got back was a jerky nod and both turned towards the parking lot where cliff already waited for him.
You can drive all night
Looking for the answers in the pouring rain
You wanna find of peace mind
Looking for the answer
As Cliff drove both of them through the night it started to rain and all what Jared did was starring out in the pouring rain, his face was unreadable. He looked miles away in his own world. Cliff turned around and asked if he should Jared drive to Sandy’s apartment, as the tiny brunette was in the city at the moment, but Jared didn’t react in any way so Jensen placed his hand gently on Jareds arm but Jared jumped at the tiny contact as if he was burned. Jensen frowned and starred with wide eyes at his best friend „You ok?“ he whisper-asked. Jared turned to him and looked so spooked that Jensen almost forgot how confused he was with this reaction because all he wanted to do was taking his best friend in his arms and never let go. But it wasn’t his place to comfort him so he asked again a little bit louder „Cliff asked if he should drop you off at Sandys, You ok Jared?“ Jared turned towards Cliff and said„ No thank you, could you please drive both of us to Jensen?“ Cliff just nodded and kept his eyes on the road and Jared turned away to look once again out of the window. Jensen was more than perplexed what turn this ride took but before he could ponder too much on his thoughts he heard a soft whisper from Jared „Just wanna be with you Jen. Please.“ But the please sounded more like a question than a statement so Jensen took Jareds hand and squeezed it gently while saying „Of course Jay.“ He squeezed one more time and then he did let go of the hand even though he wanted to hold on forever.
Funny how seems like yesterday
As I recall you were looking out of place
Gathered up your things and slipped away
No time at all I followed you into the hall
Ten Minutes later they were at Jensens apartment, they got out of the car after Jensen said good night to Cliff and Jared just nodded at him, both made their way to the door in silence. While Jensen fumbled with the keys Jared starred off in the distance and when Jensen opened the door he had to say Jareds name three times before he turned towards him „You wanna come in Jay?“ Jared nodded and moved forwards, they got in and slipped out of their shoes, Jensen walked into the kitchen and called out to Jared if he wanted anything. He just heard silence so after taking a bottle of water for himself he walked into his living room and what he saw made him sad. Jared stood in the middle of the room and looked really out of place, as if he hadn’t been here a thousand times before. It seemed like he didn’t wanted to be here and that really confused Jensen. Didn’t Jared say he wanted to be here? That he wanted to be with Jensen at the moment? So Jensen did what he just thought was logic and said "Jared you sure you don’t want to be with Sandy?“ It looked like as if Jared came out of a very deep place in his head and he turned around with wide shiny eyes and before Jensen could even do anything he flew out of the living room.
Cigarette daydreams
You were only seventeen
So sweet with a mean streak
Nearly brought me to my knees
Jensens only thought was ‚what the hell‘ and he was following Jared out in the hall were he could grasp his arm before he could open the door and vanish out in to the night. „Jay what the hell has gotten into you?“ His question was met with silence and that was enough for Jensen. He gripped the taller mans wrist and pulled him back inside the living room where he maneuvered him onto the couch and sat down beside him. „ Ok enough is enough Jared. I don’t know what happened to you but it scares the living crap out of me seeing you like this. So please, I beg you with all I am … Jay please talk to me.“ He was looking at his best friend with pleading eyes. For many long minutes Jared just sat there and it seemed like he wouldn’t open his mouth to talk with him and again Jensens heart felt very heavy because all he wanted to do was listening and help him through this apparently tough time. He closed his eyes and leaned back into the sofa, he was drained and didn’t know what to do, he felt so helpless inside. But a light touch on his cheek got him to open his eyes and what he saw were shiny hazel eyes, Jared was turned towards him and looking him straight in the eyes. He whispered „ I’m so sorry Jen, I’m so so sorry“ and while he said this tears ran down his cheeks. Jensen sat back up and cupped his cheeks in both hands „What are you sorry for Jay? What is wrong? Please let me help you.“ He thumbed the tears away and started to caress Jareds skin. The taller one leaned into the contact and closed his eyes. „I have to confess something to you“ he whispered wetly against the blonds right hand. Jensen just waited, he knew Jared needed time and he would give him his time. After some minutes the brunette opened his eyes again and said in a more confident tone „I broke up with Sandy“ That was a shock for the older one, because he thought all went well with the petite brunette, even if he didn’t like her so much he was willing to get along with her. „Jay I’m sorry to hear this. What happened ? Did she leave you? Because I swear if she did hurt you like this I will search for her and -…“ But before he could finish this sentence Jared shook his head and their was a ghost of a smile on his lips and he chuckled a bit.„Ok I’m not really complaining that I see a little smile in your face but what the heck is so funny about you guys breaking up?“ Jensen stated agitatedly. „Oh there is nothing funny about this because Sandy was really really pissed at me while I told her I wasn’t in love with her and it is better for the both of us to break up.“Jensen just looked at him with a confused look since it still doesn’t make sense to him why Jared was chucking and this he told his friend.„Well it is funny that you thought she did hurt me and you went in this Dean Winchester protective mode from one second to the other“ Jared said with a side looped smile.„And don’t even pretend that you liked Sandy because I know that you just tolerated her for me“Jensen snorted and looked at Jared with a light blush in his cheeks „Ok first of all I did not go into Dean Winchester protective mode because all this you just saw that was Jensen Ackles protective mode."He grinned at his best friend "Jay you are my best friend and when somebody hurts you, I will hunt them down and hurt them… well maybe that was a little Dean-like“ He laughed at himself but got serious again after a second „Jay yeah you are right I didn’t like Sandy and I mean I didn’t like her at all but she is … sorry was your girlfriend so I made a effort to tolerate her.“ The taller smiled wistfully at him „I know Jen and I really appreciate your effort but it just didn’t work out so…“He trailed off and Jensen asked „So this was the reason you looked so forlorn this past days?“Jared looked at him and teared up again, he sobbed and whispered brokenly no before he vanished out the house in the rain which started again not long ago. Jensen sat on his sofa with wide eyes and open mouthed for a second, thinking wow deja vú and was up and ran out the door in the icy rain, damn Vancouver he thought while he ran behind his best friend and snatching him around the arm and turning him around „Damn it Jared talk to me ! If this isn’t the reason you have to tell me because it makes me sick seeing you this way“ He screamed at his best friend who stood before him with tears running down his cheeks and sobs breaking free from his lungs. You wanna know why I am like this? You really wanna know?“ the brunette screamed back. Jensen just waited and finally Jared broke down before him while murmuring words Jensen didn’t understand while standing above him, so he sat down beside Jared and asked „Why Jay?“ Jared turned towards him and whispered with a broken voice „Because I love you."
You can drive all night
Looking for the answers in the pouring rain
You wanna find peace of mind
Looking for the answer
There weren’t many things in the world which made Jensen Ackles speechless but this heartfelt confession from his best friend was one of them. He starred at Jared with his mouth hung open and a flabbergasted look in his eyes and his head was empty. There was nothing left but this tiny voice repeating these four words over and over again. „Because I love you“ It was too much for him to grasp really and so he was silent. But it seemed exactly that was for Jared the rejection he was afraid of. He stood up and tried to wipe his tears off but is was without much success because his tears just came. He turned his back towards Jensen and started a slow walk down the street. Meanwhile Jensen sat the on the wet street soaking his jeans trough but he was so happy and warm inside, his best friend, the man he was in love with returned his feelings. He looked up with a smile that vanished from his face in a instant because the tall brunette wasn’t in front of him anymore, he was walking down the street with shaking shoulders. Oh no, Jared thought he was alone with his feelings, it was that thought which brought Jensen back on his feet and running down the street towards his hopefully new lover. „Jared, Jay! Wait we have to talk about this!“ Jared did stop but he didn’t turn around, facing away from Jensen he said in a monotone voice „If you wanted to tell me that I’m your best friend but these are the only feeling you do have for me, than I don’t want to hear it. I’m sorry for bringing this in the daylight but it was too hard for me holding it all back for much longer. I hope we could remain friends even though this situation is strange for you“ he let out a heavy sigh and wanted to start walking again but a hand on his shoulder made him freeze.Jensen walked around Jared to stand directly in front of him „You finished with your little speech?“ His best friend just starred at him like he was waiting for the final punch in the face but that was the last thing on Jensens mind while he was getting on his tip toes and leaning all the way up so his mouth was on the same height as Jareds ear and whispered „Jay, baby how could you think you are alone in this situation as you described it?“ He leaned back down and looked up into startled hazel eyes. Jared blushed and started to sputter„Jensen wait do you mean tha- …. no you couldn’t mean what I’m thinking you … wait you called me baby…. Jen why did you call me baby?"It was so endearing to see Jared lighten up again. „What do you think why I called you baby Jay? It’s because I’m in love with my hyper puppy best friend for 2 years now“ One minute he was standing in the pouring rain confessing his love for Jared and the next thing he knew Jared was holding him in his strong arms and spinning him around laughing. „I love you so much Jen“ Jensen couldn't help himself and he was laughing as well. „Jay let me down you big moose“ he said still laughing. Jared sat him down and his face was nearly spilt into halves so big was his smile. „Lets get inside before we catch a cold“ They were holding hands while making their way back inside the house.
If we could find a reason, a reason to change
Looking for the answer
I you could find a reason, a reason to stay
Standing in the pouring rain.
After drying themselves with towels and changing into a new set of warm clothes, Jared and Jensen were back in the living room cuddling on the sofa, Jared laying on his back and Jensen sprawled over him with his head tucked under his chin. „I love you“ whispered Jared in Jensens ear while stroking his hair. Jensen smiled and looked up at his new lover „I love you too“ He said and leaned in for the first of many kisses.