Chapter Text
“Jeez. This looks bad, Sylvain.”
“Eh. I’ve had worse,” Sylvain said, easy-going as always. “Anyway, I probably deserved it.”
You pursed your lips but don’t say anything. You knew that a lot of people would likely agree with Sylvain’s assessment – he deserved what he got. Always playing with the hearts of girls, only to carelessly crush them the next minute before moving onto the next target. His skirt-chasing antics were legendary. So, nobody thought twice about it when it gets him a punch in the face or worse.
But did that make it okay? Did anybody ever stop to wonder why Sylvain did what he did or approached him with anything other than hostility and disgust over it?
You’d be a liar if you said didn’t have conflicted feelings about Sylvain. It’s not that you condoned what he did. He could be insensitive and overly laid back, and his friends were always quick to point that out.
But…
You’d seen sides to Sylvain that were pretty special. He might have been a player, but he could be kind when he tried. Actually, it didn’t even seem to be an effort for him to be friendly. You remembered vividly when you first met him, because you had been so nervous when you first came to Garrag Mach, and you’d been homesick something awful. The Mess Hall had been vaguely terrifying to you – so many strangers. You’d almost turned right around and ran back out without eating anything.
That was, until Sylvain approached you.
“Hey there, cutie.” He’d greeted you with that typical grin on his face he always wore when talking to girls. “Are you okay? Forgive me for saying so, but you look a little bit lost.”
“Oh! Uh, well, yeah, I am…” you admitted, a bit flustered. What? He was gorgeous! “I’m not sure where I’m supposed to sit.”
“Well, hey, why don’t you come sit with me?” he asked. “I’m Sylvain, by the way. Sylvain Gautier.”
The name didn’t register to you at all then – he could have probably told you he was the reincarnation of the Goddess Sothis and you would have been too anxious to really register. You instead introduced yourself.
“That’s certainly a pretty name,” Sylvain nodded with a smile. “It suits you. Well then, shall we?”
And that had been that. He’d flirted with you a lot that day, of course, but upon seeing how nervous you were, he’d instead set about putting you at ease by goofing around and making you laugh. You’d never forgotten that, and you remembered at the time being flattered that a noble like Sylvain was putting so much effort into talking to you.
Of course, now you knew that Sylvain could no more resist talking to a girl than a fox can resist a coop full of chickens.
But that day had cemented something for the both of you. Sylvain still flirted with you, of course, but it was like breathing to him – he’d never made a sincere effort to seduce you.
Yet still, sometimes even just being around him broke your heart.
“Hey, you don’t need to fuss over me,” Sylvain said, but his voice is still playful and he winked. “Not that I’m not enjoying it, though…”
You snorted quietly as you worked ointment into the mark just underneath his eye.
“Shut up, Sylvain. You know this is preferable to having to show your face to Professor Manuela.”
Sylvain made a face, then winced as it agitated the bruising.
“Yeah, you’re not wrong about that,” he said, ruefully. “I really don’t need any more ‘I told you so’ right now.”
You can’t help but feel a little smug that you didn’t say that, not once.
“Yeah, plus, how are you supposed to get any flirting down with that pretty face all bashed up?” you teased.
“Very funny,” Sylvain replied, but he was smiling. “Why’re you so good to me, huh?”
“That should do it,” you said quickly, screwing the cap back onto the ointment and taking a moment to hide your face as you pretended to concentrate on what you’re doing. “Leave that on overnight and you should be good to go.”
“Got it,” Sylvain nodded, red hair bouncing gently with the movement, watching you as you put the ointment back into one of the little pouches you had on your belt. “How come you just so happened to be carrying that stuff on you, anyway?”
You rolled your eyes, though at yourself, not at him.
“You’ve seen how clumsy I am, right? Trust me, this stuff has been a godsend in the past. It took a few tries to get it right, though. But I guess I definitely had plenty of opportunities to test it out.”
“Wait, you made this?” Sylvain asked in surprise, pointing to the salve now lightly coating his cheek.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I did.” You said, distractedly, as you buttoned up the pouch.
“That’s amazing!” Sylvain said, his eyes bright, the sudden enthusiasm catching you off guard. “Man, some people spend years perfecting this stuff, but here you are with your own recipe already. Plus, yours even smells nice!”
“Ah, well, thanks!” you answered, trying to sound casual and not blush at the compliment, though that’s easier said than done. “I crushed flower petals into it, they give off the aroma without ruining the healing properties.”
“You’ll have to make me a batch of this stuff,” Sylvain grinned. “For situations like this.”
Or you could just stop dating girls you don’t love.
“I’d pay you back, of course,” Sylvain added, misinterpreting your silence. “With dinner, maybe?”
Your heart did this stupid little jerk in your chest. Did he know about the way you think about him? Did he know what his words did to you? Or were they just empty words?
“Hmm,” is what you said, though a smile tugged at your lips anyway. Sylvain had this strange ability to charm you, even when you knew better. It wasn't just you, either – he had a certain magnetism to him that even his childhood friends couldn’t completely ignore. “Maybe.”
“Ooh, a tough sell,” Sylvain laughed, straightening up to his full height and stretching. “Alright, alright! But seriously, I do owe you one. If you think of a way for me to pay you back, you just say the word.”
A thousand thoughts flooded your mind then, like a buzzing beehive and you bit down on your bottom lip.
“Alright, sure thing,” you said, nodding. “I’ll hold you to that.”
“Alright then,” Sylvain said, then he sighed as he remembered something. “But I’d better get back or His Highness will get mad at me again. See you later, cutie!”
He gave one of those flirty grins and a wave, before disappearing down the corridor. You watched him go and tried to ignore the word ‘cutie’ ringing in your ears. You know it’s just in his nature to say sweet nothings like that, he just meant it in a friendly way…but your stupid heart doesn’t listen. It thudded hard in your chest as you walked back to your own quarters, like a drumbeat. You could feel the ointment bouncing against your hip, but unfortunately, you know it won’t do anything for this kind of pain.
Yes. You are good to Sylvain, because you knew he needed it – you knew that despite his friendliness, the teasing and the light heartedness, there were burdens weighing him down that you didn’t yet understand and hoped you could be there for him one day, when he wanted to tell you about them.
You wanted to be more than just his friend. But that would probably drive him away for good. You knew that, which is why you did your best to ignore the way you felt about him and only really let yourself think about it when you’re alone.
…but you still hoped one day, just maybe, there’s a way through this that didn’t end in a heartbreak somewhere.
With that in mind, you shut the curtains. Time to put yourself – and these crazy hopes of yours – to bed. At least for now.