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"When did you realize this, Claire?”, they were in her therapist’s quiet living room.
“I don’t know exactly when it happened, actually, but today it hit me, I haven’t been this close and honest with anyone in my entire life before him, and I keep telling myself that we’re just friends but I don’t think I can do this anymore”, Claire felt like she was lifting a burden, she's been denying herself the truth for so long.
“How do you feel about this realization? He’s your boss, that comes with complications”
“That’s why I’m scared, I’m so freaked out that I won’t be able to work with him without ruining everything and destroying the career I’ve worked so hard for... And what if he feels the same way about me? What am I supposed to do?”, Claire had tears in her eyes, she spoke that last part in a whisper, like it was a secret she had sworn to keep.
"Reciprocal or not, Claire, you need to figure out how you feel, I can't give you the answer. But I think it's best if you keep it to yourself until we've worked through this properly", she nodded.
Claire left her therapist's house feeling a little better, but there was so much to understand and before she could even think about this, she had to end things with Dash. One thing wa for sure, she didn't like him romantically.
~~~
The next day, she had breakfast with him and they decided to keep things friendly, Kayla would never forgive her if she had pushed him away for real. Now there's was only one problem for her to deal with, and it was not a simple one.
"Hey, what are you doing tonight? Going out with Dash?", Melendez approached her in the nurse's station while she signed the discharge papers for their patience.
Claire froze for a second, it wasn't technically wrong to tell him the truth, "Actually, we're no longer together."
Melendez's expression shifted from playful to surprised and Claire could've sworn she saw a smile in there for a second, "oh, I'm so sorry... are you okay?"
"Yeah, it was for the best... that's not where my heart was", as soon as she said it she realized what that could insinuate, but just as fast as it faded, Neil's smirk returned.
"Well, it's a good thing then... does that mean you're free to help me survive a very boring benefit tonight?"
It was like nothing had changed between them, except for her now seeing that as a date more than a friendly invite, "As much as I'd love to, I'm on call tonight", which was accurate, "but text me if something interest happens there", she added.
"Doubtful", he couldn't hide his disappointment about her not going, but on the other hand he couldn't be happier about the fact that Dash wasn't in the picture anymore, and that deserved some of his best flirtation tricks, he got close to her and leaned on the station, "Well, too bad, you would've made it a lot better", Neil practically whispered it in her ear. Then he gave her a wink and left.
A small and very reckless part of Claire was seriously considering doing the most stupid thing she ever did and call in sick. But that part didn't overcome the rest if her brain cells telling her she would definitely be fired if anyone found out. Although his face didn't leave her mind for the rest of the day.
~~~
It was a quiet night, Claire checked her watch, 10h30. He didn't text her, but she wasn't upset about it. They needed time, not to rush into things until she was sure of hers and his feelings too, for that matter.
She was about to go grab something to eat, when everything started shaking. The ceiling started to crack and the last thing she saw was the hospital lights going dark.
Claire opened her eyes and felt like a truck had fallen over her head, realizing now it was actually part of the ceiling. She pushed the debris aside and got up, other than a possible concussion she seemed fine.
Shaun came running at her and after asking if he was okay she took the red helmet he was handing her. "We need to go check on our patiences, did you see Lim anywhere?"
"She was in the OR with Park and Morgan, but no other parts of the hospital have collapsed so they must be fine", Shaun stated.
Just as he finished his sentence Lim walked up to them, "You two okay?"
"Yes, how about you and the others?"
"They're closing up our patience, but they'll be here soon", she paused, "we have incoming, the Bold Statement Brewery collapsed, it's gonna be a long night for us."
Claire's heart sinked. She knew that name... Neil's benefit! "Melendez is there! Did you talk to him?"
"No, but Glassman told me he would be with him tonight so they're probably together, I'll try his phone", she stated dialing and walked away.
She was supposed to be there, with him. She'd know exactly what was happening... if he was okay. The though of Neil being hurt scared the shit out of her. Thinking about it would make her start spiraling and she had to remain focused. After checking all the surgical patients and making sure none of them got hurt in the earthquake, Claire knew exactly what to do.
"Shaun, I'm going over there, they weren't brought in and I think they're trapped, please, come with me?", she asked him and didn't need to insist. Glassman was there too so Shaun didn't need to think about this twice.
She couldn't just vanish so she approached Lim in the ER, "Dr. Lim? I need to go find them, if they're not here yet that's not a good sign. What if something really bad happened and none of us are there?", Claire said all of this in the same breath. She had a feeling Lim'd agree with her, after all, she cared about him too.
"You're not going alone, Dr. Browne. Grab you bag and wait for me out front. I'll be there in 5", she gave Claire a look that told her they we together in this. They weren't going to let him die today.
15 minutes later the three of them were in front of the building. Or more like wreckage. Shaun was about to run straight in but before he did Glassman appeared in the front door. They ran over to help him.
There was about 10 people with him, none of them were Melendez. "Shaun! I'm fine, I'm fine", he'd stared examining the older doctor, "listen, Lea was with me, we got separated and I don't know were she is now".
Shaun was not the one to physically show emotion very often, but in that moment it looked like his world was shattered, he grabbed his bag and ran in.
Claire had no idea how she was going to find Melendez, she helped Lim examined the others and then went in.
There was nothing remotely recognizable in the room, she climbed down what used to be stares and was now a pile of bricks, and did the only thing she thought was right, started calling for him.
After a few moments, Claire heard a cough and pointed her flashlight to where it was coming from. "Neil! Oh my god! I'm here! Hey, look at me", she held his head in her hand and looked for wounds. Aside from being covered in dust he only had a cut is his forehead and a scrap in his chest. But then she looked down, at his legs.
"Claire, you shouldn't be here, it's not safe", Neil seemed worried about her, which was ironic considering he had a steel beam on top of his left leg.
"I'm fine, but I need to get you out of here. This could all fall down on us any second". She said that while trying to lift the metal piece away, unsuccessfully.
"Where are the other, Lea and Glassman?"
"Dr. Glassman is outside, he's fine. Shaun came in before me to try and find Lea."
"Fight for who you love, I guess", he said looking at Claire who was still working on removing the beam, "hey, just stop. Come here", he grabbed her hand, "I'm not letting you get hurt, go back outside, find someone else, I'm not going anywhere", he said with a half smile, like this amused him somehow.
"A. Not the best moment for a joke", although she was smiling at him too, more relief to see him being himself than anything else, "and B. I'm not leaving your side... I can't loose you, okay?". It felt like everything else faded away except for his eyes. He was panting from the pain but his eyes were calm.
Claire was terrified on the inside and didn't know what to do, but she certainly wasn't going to leave him. She opened the emergency bag and grabbed the two-way radio. "Hello, dr. Lim? You there?", a few more tries later Lim answered. "I'm here".
"I need help, I'm with Melendez but there's a 500 pounds metal wreckage on his leg. I don't think it severed any arteries but I can't get it out."
"Okay, hold on. I'm calling a team to go down. Just hang in there, Dr. Browne."
All they could do was wait. On that note, she sat next to him and grabbed the bottle of pain killers from the kit, "here, this will help."
"Thank you... For everything", Neil said looking at her. He couldn't find the words to actually tell her what he was feeling. So relief that she was the one with him right now, he wouldn't even mind if those were his last moments.
"All I did was find you and we both might still be screwed", she said with a scoff.
"Thank you for fighting for me". With those words all of Claire's feeling came rushing to the surface and she couldn't take this anymore.
"Neil, I... The thought of never seeing you again scared me, but not as much as doing that without ever telling you how I feel", she paused and took a deep breath, "I know it's inappropriate and that we're friends and I don't wanna loose this, but... I love you. And if we die here, well, I just needed you to know."
Neil was astounded. How can a moment be so terrible and so amazing at the same time? Here they were, stuck in what used to be a actual building and the woman he loves, who he thought didn't see him like that, is telling him she loves him.
"You're right. That's very inappropriate", he looked dead serious, she frozed, "also, I love you too", he said opening a big smile at her.
And before she could breath properly again, their lips met. She held him face with one hand and the collar of his shirt with the other. It was a soft kiss, caring, like they were clinging onto each other without ever wanting to let go. Like that kiss could save them both.
The moment was broken apart by Neil's groan of pain and another tremor. It was a aftershock, small, but it caused the beam to start sliding on top of him.
"We need to get out of here", Claire said urgently and radioed Lim.
"The team just got here, we're on our way right now, tell me where you are", they heard her voice from the other side.
5 minutes later she walked through the debris with 4 paramedics. Claire helped them make a lever and lift the piece of metal from Neil's leg.
He screamed, it felt like his leg was on fire and he could feel himself passing out. "Neil, no, I need you to stay awake, okay? Just look at me", he tried opening his eyes and they met her green ones. Not all the pain in the world could top that.
"You're gonna be fine, we're getting out of here now."
As they carried him out she didn't let go of his hand for one second. And neither when they were in the back of the ambulance heading to St. Bonaventure.
He had a concussion and a broken leg. But from where he was standing, none of that mattered more than having her right there with him.
When he woke up the next morning in the hospital she was sitting next to him and squeezed his hand when he opened his eyes, "Hey, shouldn't you be at home, asleep?"
"I told you, I'm not leaving your side", she said with a smirk, and he pulled her into his embrace. "Nothing can make me stay away from you, ever."
They were safe, and most importantly, together. And that wasn't about to change any time soon.