Chapter Text
January 2021—Year 14 of the Kaiju War
Lance joins the military because of a vendetta against the Kaiju and a dream to save the world by becoming a Jaeger pilot.
It’s been his dream since he was ten. He’s wanted this more than he’s ever wanted anything else. His whole life has been driven by this goal, and the day after he graduates high school, he goes down to the military’s office in his hometown and signs up. Two weeks later, he’s shipped out to the Garrison Base in the middle of the desert to go through basic training.
“You don’t have to do this, mijo,” his mother tells him when they’re standing in front of the car that’s taking him to the airport. She’s holding his hand, and his younger brother and sister are standing behind them.
Lance thinks about his dad and his older sister. He thinks about the day that the Kaiju, Hammerjaw, destroyed L.A. and tormented them. He thinks about being at his dad’s restaurant with his sister when it all happened, how they were hunted down, cornered in an alleyway. He remembers his dad, gripping him and his sister by their shoulders, hunkering down in the rubble and singing to them softly in Spanish.
“It’s all going to be okay. I love you,” he had murmured, right before Hammerjaw roared and took both of them away from Lance forever.
Now, he blinks his tears back and reaches out to hug his mom one more time. He murmurs, “Yeah, I do.”
Life at the Garrison isn’t what Lance had expected, but he adapts quickly. He thought it would be a few weeks of training, then straight to a Jaeger base where he could meet a co-pilot and start fighting in the war. He thought that the military would be pushing out pilots faster than ever since Kaiju activity had skyrocketed from 2018. He thought it would be quick training and an even quicker placement.
He’s wrong. The Garrison puts him and all the other young recruits through the wringer. The training is harder than anything he’s ever done in his life, and the classes that he and the other cadets take test him just as much as well. It’s hell, but Lance keeps his eyes on the prize and works his ass off. He keeps a picture of his dad and sister taped to his wall beside the rest of his family, and every morning before training and class, he touches it and thinks about the day he will step into a Jaeger to finally right some wrongs and get justice for his family and the rest of the world.
At the Garrison, he makes the best friend he’s ever had in his life. His name is Hunk, and he’s from the Samoan Islands. He’s the same age as Lance, but he’s in the engineering class instead of fighter pilot. When they first meet, Lance tells Hunk of his dreams to pilot a Jaeger, and Hunk grins at him wide and says, “That’s so cool! I want to build them.”
Lance and Hunk make it through three years of basic and advanced training when the Garrison begins initiating the test for drift ability. Once the possible candidates for the Jaeger program are singled out, they get placed into a different training program at a base, one of the Shatterdomes, on the Pacific rim.
The morning that Lance has his test is bright. The desert is warm and cold at the same time in January, and Lance is more nervous and excited than he’s been since he signed up for the military.
Because his nerves are so unsteady, Hunk walks him down to the testing arena. It’s a quick test, one that only takes a few minutes. The simplicity of the test scares a lot of people; you can either drift or not. It’s that easy.
Lance is terrified and confident at the same time. This is his dream. This is everything he’s ever wanted all wrapped up in ten minutes.
“You’re going to do great,” Hunk tells him, all smiles. “We’ll celebrate when you finish, okay?”
Lance takes a deep breath, “Okay, dude. Thanks.”
Hunk leaves him just outside of the testing center, where one of the instructors signs him in and tells him to wait until the previous cadet is finished with his test.
And when that cadet comes out, Lance should have really known who it was going to be.
Keith fucking Kogane has been a pain in his ass ever since he got to the Garrison. Keith is an unruly, arrogant, prickly bastard. He’s always one step ahead of Lance in everything that they ever do, and he makes sure that Lance knows it. Not to mention that he has the ugliest mullet in the history of hair.
It doesn’t help that when Lance tried to make friends with Keith one of the first days they were here, Keith blew him off and acted like he didn’t exist.
Keith Kogane walks out of the training center and glances at Lance. His dark eyes don’t reveal anything, and he keeps walking as if nothing’s happened. He can’t help but wonder how Keith’s test went.
“Sanchez,” one of the officers calls. Lance jerks up from his chair. “Let’s go.”
They lead him into the room and sit him down in a chair. He doesn’t let his nerves show. Two of the officers place a metal ring riddled with sensors on his head, then they add sensors to his skin down his arms and under his shirt.
“You’re going to feel a slight prick,” one of the officers says. Her face is serious. “You’ll know if it works.”
They hook something into the headband that he can’t see, and then, there’s a sharp pinch and Lance gasps as he’s thrown into his memories.
It’s almost too fast for him to watch. He sees his family, his mom and siblings, L.A., driving his first car, working his first job, his first kiss, his dad and his sister. His memories darken; he remembers watching the news, the destruction of the coastal cities along the Pacific Ocean, feeling so enraged and helpless that the only thing he could think about was piloting a Jaeger. The Kaiju, up close, him screaming, his dad and sister—
Lance comes out of his memories with another gasp and lurches forward.
It takes him a few seconds to catch his breath, but when he does, he sees his superior officer, Iverson, in the corner of the room, nodding at a screen in approval. He glances over to Lance and nods as well, “Congratulations, cadet. Looks like you have drift ability.”
He sighs in relief and feels something inside him slot into place. The other officers unhook him and help him to his feet, and Lance is so relieved that he salutes Iverson and leaves without saying anything at all.
Hunk catches him coming out of the room and asks excitedly, “How did it go?”
Lance bursts into tears and drops his head to Hunk’s shoulder, overwhelmed and inexplicably sad because of the memories he’s seen. It was like being there all over again. Over his tears, he says, “It was awesome. I have drift ability.”
;;
The next day, Lance gets pulled out of his mechanics class by one of the senior officers. They take him to the training deck, where there is a line of other cadets. Lance knows most of them from his other classes, recognizes them in the sense that he’s seen them around but doesn’t talk to them often. There are seven of them including—
Keith Kogane.
Lance blanches. Keith Kogane has drift ability? Of fucking course he does. There isn’t a universe or reality that exists where he’s better than Keith at something.
Keith either doesn’t notice him or doesn’t care that he’s got drift ability too. He doesn’t look over at Lance, staring straight ahead at Iverson pacing in front of the line.
Lance joins the rest of the cadets in line and waits. Other than the seven cadets and Keith, there are a few more officers in the room, along with a man that Lance doesn’t recognize. He’s wearing a pair of military blue pants with a matching sweater, and he has a pair of dog tags around his neck. His hair is orange, and his huge mustache and eyebrows match the color perfectly.
“Thanks for finally joining us, Sanchez,” Iverson remarks, and for however proud of Lance he had been yesterday, he’s back to his usual angry and snide remarks. Lance snaps his attention back to his commanding officer.
“Alright, cadets,” Iverson begins, voice echoing across the training deck. “Out of everyone we tested yesterday, the seven of you have the ability to drift. Congratulations. From here, we’re releasing five of you to different Jaeger programs around the world where you will begin your pilot training. Smith, Kelley, Robins, Johnson, and Rodriguez, we’re awaiting your placement and should have the results within the week. Dismissed.”
Lance feels his heart sink. Iverson didn’t call his name. What the hell does that mean? But, he didn’t call Keith’s either. What’s going on?
The other cadets file out of the room, and Lance automatically takes two steps to his right, forming the line again. He feels Keith do the same, but he doesn’t look over at him.
“Kogane, Sanchez,” Iverson starts, stopping in front of the two of them. Lance’s heart is beating too fast in his chest. “You may have noticed I didn’t call either of your names.”
“Yes, sir,” they say at the exact same time.
“Well, let me introduce you two to Professor Coran,” he continues, gesturing to the man in the corner of the room with the mustache. “He’s the lead researcher and recruiter for the International Jaeger Program with the Pan Pacific Defense Corps.”
The man, Professor Coran, steps forward. He has a heavy Australian accent when he starts speaking, “Nice to meet you, boys. I’m here because of your percentages on the Drift Ability tests you were given yesterday.”
Lance frowns and opens his mouth—
Keith beats him to it, like always, and there’s that same pinch of jealousy in Lance. Keith asks, “What about them?”
Iverson frowns at Keith, but Professor Coran brightens and continues, voice even louder and accent even thicker, “I’m glad you asked! You see, you and your fellow cadet’s percentages on the Drift Ability tests were higher than any numbers we’ve ever seen from candidates your age! It’s quite amazing, actually. When your commanding officers sent the Marshall the reports, I flew directly out here to see it myself.”
There’s a second of silence, and Lance looks over at Keith, who thankfully looks just as confused as he feels. He says, “Um, sir, what do you mean? Why does it matter if our scores were higher?”
“High scores reflect higher probability of immediate success in the Jaeger program,” Professor Coran exclaims. “Candidates that have high scores on the Drift Ability tests are often the most successful in Jaegers fighting the Kaiju. When we come across scores such as these, we prefer to fast track the candidates to one of the more active Shatterdomes in the world.”
Lance looks over to Keith again, and his expression is full of surprise too. Lance doesn’t… he doesn’t know how this is possible. It feels like all of his dreams just came true in one go. He’s going to be placed in a Shatterdome. One day, he’s going to pilot a motherfucking Jaeger.
“However,” Professor Coran says, and Lance hesitates, “there was also some other, more interesting data when we compared both of your scores. It seems that the both of you tested so high and so comparably that we have no other choice but to wonder if the two of you perhaps have drift compatibility.”
Lance jerks back like he’s been burned because honestly, what the fuck? There’s no way in hell that he would ever, ever, ever be drift compatible with Keith fucking Kogane.
“So,” the Aussie continues, oblivious to Lance’s inner turmoil, “your superior officers have agreed to allow me and my team to run a drift test on you. It won’t be in a real Jaeger, of course, just in a simulator. Assuming our data and predictions are correct and the two of you are in fact drift compatible, we’ll move both of you to start co-pilot training.”
Lance doesn’t understand. He feels like this is all a joke. Surely, one of the officers in the room will start laughing and someone will yell gotcha! and they’ll all laugh about how ridiculous this sounds. There’s no way that the two of them could be drift compatible. No fucking way.
“We’ll start the simulation this afternoon,” Professor Coran finishes. “Rest up; this won’t be easy.”
With that, he files out of the room, followed by Iverson and the other officers, which leaves Lance and Keith standing in the room alone.
Keith clears his throat and turns to look at him, and Lance feels his face heat up for no reason at all. Keith is just—he’s so infuriating.
“Um,” Keith stammers a little before holding his hand out for a handshake. “I’m Keith.”
Lance stares at him, annoyed that Keith is actually introducing himself right now as if he has no fucking clue who Lance is. He sneers, “I know who you are, Keith. We’ve had classes together for three years.”
Keith frowns too and drops his hand, “Okay.”
Yeah. There’s no way he’s drift compatible with him.
It gets worse when Keith asks, “What’s your name?”
Lance actually sees red before he answers, “Uh, the name’s Lance. We’ve been in the same fucking classes.”
“Really? Are you an engineer?”
“No, I’m a pilot! We’re like rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck?”
Keith looks at him blankly, and Lance turns away from him and throws his hands up into the air, frustrated that he’s even having this conversation. He hates Keith more now that the stupid bastard doesn’t even know his name. They’ve been competing for the same, top spot in their classes since they started training, and Keith never even bothered with learning his name.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Keith says, a few seconds later. “We’re not rivals. We have to do this simulation together in a few hours.”
There’s something about the way that Keith says it that makes Lance even angrier. He turns and walks toward the door, “Yeah, well, my score on the Drift Ability test was just as high as yours, so don’t get a big head about it, mullet.”
“I didn’t. I don’t—fuck, you’re such an idiot!”
Lance flips him off and stalks out of the room.
;;
“And so apparently our Drift Ability results were so similar that they think Keith and I might be drift compatible.”
“What?” Hunk exclaims. They’re sitting in their barracks, and Lance is leaning against Hunk’s shoulder while the other boy does his engineering assignment. It’s only a few more hours until he has to report back for the simulation. “That’s amazing! Drift compatibility isn’t supposed to even be possible until you finish training in a full Jaeger program.”
Lance sighs, “It’s not amazing, Hunk. Keith is so… There’s no way we could ever be compatible with each other. He didn’t even know my fucking name.”
“Yeah, but… Lance, if both of your scores were the highest scores on the record for Drift Ability and the two of you were drift compatible, you and Keith might be the strongest Jaeger pilots in the world,” Hunk explains, all patience and excitement.
It should make Lance excited too. That would be… He’s dreamed of piloting a Jaeger since he was eight years old, but the thought of piloting with Keith, of allowing Keith into his head and expecting him to accept Lance for everything is terrifying to him. He doesn’t know if he could do it.
But Hunk is staring at him now and he’s been such a good friend that Lance just sighs and mumbles, “I’ll do my best.”
;;
Lance promises that he does try his best. It’s not his fault that they fail epically and spectacularly. It’s all Keith’s fault.
The simulation starts out simple enough. Lance does his best to avoid looking at Keith while Professor Coran and the rest of his team dress them in black bodysuits. From the looks of them, they look like incomplete drivesuits that real Jaeger pilots use. Even though he’s pissed as hell that he’s having to do this with Keith, it makes him really excited about the future.
The team guides him and Keith over to a station a few feet away. It looks like what Lance imagines the inside of the cockpit of a Jaeger looks like, incomplete of course. There are pedals where the pilot’s feet go, an overhanging communication system, and a dash and control panel filled with different weapon options and controls.
One of the officers grips Lance’s shoulders while he steps onto the pedals, and his feet slide into place and stay there because of the magnets in his suit. It’s weird, and Lance breathes out a small laugh at the feeling.
“Alright, boys,” Professor Coran starts, “we’re going to finish setting up the simulator, and then, we’ll begin the test. You haven’t had any training whatsoever, so we’re not expecting a miracle from you. Whatever the results may be, both of you will still be placed in a Jaeger program to begin your pilot training, understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Lance and Keith speak at the same time again. The officers at their sides continue to hook up different lines and cables to their suits.
Professor Coran nods, “Good. Now, you both know about the drift. It’s a neural connection between two pilots that allow them to pilot a Jaeger together. When you drift with someone, you learn everything about them and them to you. I won’t lie, it is one of the most intense sensations in the world. There is a reason that only a select few have the ability to drift; finding someone that you’re drift compatible with is integrally important to the Jaeger Program. The strongest pilots and Jaegers are always drift compatible.”
Lance doesn’t really have anything to ask at that. He understands how important this is. He knows that the literal safety of the world depends on the Jaeger pilots defending Earth from the Kaiju. It just—he’s excited about maybe being drift compatible with someone, but he doesn’t think that someone can be Keith Kogane.
“Initializing simulation,” an officer says from where he is standing behind a control panel on the opposite end of the room. Professor Coran moves over to the monitors as well. The officer on Lance’s side crosses the room too, leaving him and Keith alone, hooked to a simulator that will be used to give Keith access to his mind.
Fuck, Keith is going to see everything. All of Lance’s memories, all of his thoughts and feelings and—he’s going to be able to read Lance’s mind.
And then Lance is going to have to deal with that for the rest of his life. Keith Kogane, the incarnation of perfection, is going to see every single flaw that Lance has. He’s going to see everything that terrifies Lance and all of his weaknesses. He’s going to—
“Initiating neural handshake,” the officer at the control panel says, and Lance gasps as he feels a sharp pinch somewhere deep in his mind.
The simulation room is ripped away and replaced with a series of black and white scenes, and it takes Lance a few seconds to realize that they’re memories. They come so quickly and are replaced so often that it almost makes Lance sick. He sees his mom and siblings, the streets in his neighborhood—
Figures that he doesn’t recognize. Two adults looming over him, too skewed in shadows to see their faces. Then, there’s a horse with a soft pelt when Lance brushes his fingers through it.
Lance’s first car; his first girlfriend smiling at him over the console.
He’s in a library that he doesn’t recognize, running his fingers over the shelves, grabbing mystery novels from the stacks. Outside in a parking lot, a fist flying toward his face, a group of boys crowded around him.
“You don’t have to do this, mijo,” his mother says, crying outside of their house.
“Congratulations, Keith! You got accepted!” The man with a scar over his nose smiles.
Empty streets, destroyed buildings. The angry roar of a Kaiju. Screaming. There’s so much screaming.
A woman looks at him and brushes his hair off his head. The language she speaks doesn’t make sense to him, but somehow he knows she’s saying Be brave, my love.
Lance’s dad. “It’s all going to be okay. I love you.”
The image of his dad forces Lance back to his senses. Holy shit. He’s—they’re. This is real! They’re connected. They’re drifting. Fuck, he and Keith are—
Holy fuck, Keith.
Lance puts the metaphorical brakes onto this car. He can’t have Keith seeing everything in his head. He just—they only need to stay connected enough for them to realize that they aren’t drift compatible. Besides, they can work with each other without knowing everything. Keith doesn’t need to know what happened to his dad. He doesn’t need to know how terrified he is of this.
He pulls up walls around himself. He visualizes a brick wall and pulls it up around everything that’s too important and special for Keith to know. He takes the image of his dad and his older sister and tucks it right into the middle in his walls.
After, when he tentatively reaches out, he can feel Keith. It’s so weird and awesome and amazing that it makes him shiver.
There’s a rough push, and Lance realizes that Keith is shoving him back. It’s almost like they’re playing tug-of-war, except they’re shoving one another farther away instead of pulling each other closer.
“Stop fucking around in my head,” Keith growls. “Take your stupid walls down.”
Lance shoves back against him just because he can. “Let’s just do this.”
“We are doing this. Take the walls down, dumbass.”
He feels Keith coming closer through the connection, crossing over into what Lance would assume is his side of their bridge. He stomps around, right up to where Lance has his walls high up and reaches into it to tear it down.
“Stop!” Lance snaps.
“You have to cooperate, you asshole. You think Jaeger pilots do this in the drift? No! They trust their fucking co-pilot!” Keith snarls, hammering at the walls that Lance has created around the most important parts of himself.
Lance shoves Keith back and reaches forward for him, and there’s a distinct flash of panic from Keith when he gets closer to Keith’s own memories and Lance thinks Ha! before diving forward.
Keith pushes back, and they wrestle against the other, trying to gain the upper hand. There are so many thoughts, feelings, memories flowing between them and around them that Lance has a hard time trying to distinguish what’s his and what’s Keith’s.
“We have to work together,” Keith spits, all kinds of angry.
“I can literally feel how much you don’t want to work with me, idiot!”
The connection between them trembles as they each try and gain more control. Keith wants to destroy all the barriers between them so they can work together; Lance wants to work with him without everything they have being lost to each other. They don’t have a common ground. There’s no way that they’re ever going to be drift compatible, Lance knew it—
“We might be!” Keith shouts, reading Lance’s thoughts like they’re his own.
“We’re not!” Lance screams right back.
The tension is heavy, it’s so tight that everything feels too hot, like he’s burning and—
Everything shatters, splinters, falls to pieces.
Lance physically jerks back, and when he blinks, he’s back in the simulation room, staring at the floor where the pedals and the magnetized drivesuit are holding him to the ground. He’s panting, trying to catch his breath, and his vision is swimming a little. He feels like he needs to sit down.
When he reaches out with his mind, he’s relieved to find that the space where Keith had been earlier is completely empty, only retaining leftover memories and feelings from the neural connection.
He risks a glance over at Keith, who looks to be in about the same state as he is. Keith is fighting to get his breath back as well, and he’s shaking a little—
And there’s blood dripping from his nose.
Lance reaches up to touch his own face, slightly horrified when he pulls his hand away to see blood on his fingertips.
“Simulation failed,” the officer speaks suddenly, and the voice forces Lance even more firmly into reality. “Neural connection terminated.”
“Get them to the infirmary and do a full physical,” Professor Coran orders in his heavy accent. The officers step forward and start unhooking them from the simulator. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Keith stumble as he takes a step forward, and despite himself, Lance does the same when he steps off the pedals.
Lance clutches the forearms of the officer and walks forward, following the other officer and Keith to the infirmary. Professor Coran continues speaking as they leave the room, but Lance’s head is still spinning. He needs all of his focus to keep his legs under him, so he doesn’t hear whatever is happening as they leave.
;;
Lance passes his physical, as usual, and he assumes Keith does the same because after they’re finished, the officers lead them into another bare room and sit them down on the same cot, leaving them with a bottle of water each.
Subtly, Lance edges away from Keith. Neither of them says anything.
A few minutes later, Professor Coran, Iverson, and a few other superior officers file into the room. Lance knows that his nose isn’t bleeding anymore, but he reaches up to swipe at his face anyway.
He’s nervous. He doesn’t know what they’re going to say. It’s pretty clear that he and Keith failed spectacularly at the simulation.
Iverson gets right to the point, “Well, boys, looks like you two failed the simulation. Congrats, you’re not drift compatible.”
Something inside Lance breaks. He was expecting to feel relieved, and while he is, he can’t help but also feel like they could have done something differently. Like maybe if they had been at a different time or place, he and Keith could have made this work. He feels like they’re failing someone, possibly the world, maybe just the two of them. He isn’t sure what he feels.
Lance forces himself not to look over at Keith.
“If it’s any consolation, it was a beautiful first drift attempt, I must say,” Professor Coran says. “The connection and the drift were both strong, despite your incompatibility. My team and I are confident that both of you will succeed in a Jaeger Program.”
“But not as co-pilots,” Keith says, and his voice is so dry that Lance can’t figure out if he’s relieved or not.
Professor Coran shakes his head, “Not as co-pilots. You two almost destroyed each other. It was quite impressive. I’ve never seen that kind of control and strength from young candidates such as yourself. After you complete your training, I’m sure you will both be wonderful pilots.”
Iverson clears his throat forcibly and says, “As promised, the two of you will receive your placement at a Shatterdome within the week. You are to continue your training with Garrison compliance up until that point. Understood?”
Lance nods. He sees Keith nod as well.
“Good luck to both of you,” Professor Coran says, biding them farewell. “I’m sure we’ll meet again in the future.”
Iverson, Professor Coran, and the other officers leave the room, and Lance sighs loudly, rubbing his hand against his temples. His head is aching.
Keith edges off the cot and drops to the ground. He takes a few steps toward the door and hesitates, like he has something to say but doesn’t know how to say it. Lance thinks about the drift and how he had just been feeling everything that Keith had felt. It’s an odd thing to think about.
He says it for them, “Don’t bother, Keith.”
Keith doesn’t turn around to look at him. Instead, he nods and walks out of the room.
Lance doesn’t let it hurt. He doesn’t need Keith to be a successful Jaeger pilot. He has drift ability. Just because he wasn’t drift compatible with Keith, it doesn’t mean that he won’t be drift compatible with someone else. Someone who is better for him. Someone he can trust.
Lance doesn’t need Keith to be able to achieve his dreams. The first step is finished. He has drift ability. He even has one of the highest scores for drift ability.
In a few months, Lance will be piloting a motherfucking Jaeger with an amazing co-pilot, saving and protecting the world from the Kaiju. He doesn’t need anyone to tell him that he can do it.
He gets up from the cot and starts walking toward his future.